#Mathias: 005

[father-jude]

Location: Local YMCA indoor swimming pool Time: Late April, evening For who: @intxication

Jude usually got one day off a week. Most people never really thought about the amount of work that went into being a Diocesan priest. Jude liked it, every day had a structure but was very different. He enjoyed talking to people, to being a part of his Parishioners lives. But the intrusion of Mathias had caused a shift in the simple rhythm of his life. He struggled with why the younger man caused him such a problem. He was attractive of course. But it wasn't something so base and simple as that. Jude sighed as put his towel on a chair and slipped into one of the swimming lanes at the YMCA's pool. It was a cheap and effective way for him to exercise, and it was very goo for his left leg. He had been absent for a while as his ribs healed enough for him to actually allow him to swim. He should have waited another week but he needed the physical activity. Both of his tattoos were visible. The cross on his right arm and the much more intricate one that wrapped it's way around his left thigh. A reason why he came to the pool usually very early or like today, late in the evening. He knew the staff and they didn't mind if he went over the time. Jude tried to focus on just his breathing, with his movement of arms and legs as he swam his laps. His mind drifting back towards the kiss when he wasn't pushing himself to focus. He finally stopped, hooking his arms over the edge as he tread water slowly, his breathing steadying. When he felt someone watching him.

[naga-raja-suresh]

The Naga wasn't sure if the question was rhetorical or not. But he turned gold, alien eyes to the young leader and said very simply, "Everything that was mine to give. All I was. All I might have been." Absolute truth but vague and open to interpretation. But he had sacrificed nearly two thousand years worth of memories and given his body over partially to a god. He had given everything that was his to give. He flashed Mathias a charming smile. "Not a bad trade so far."

Suresh shook his head, "It's quite alright." He slowed and stopped as Mathias did. He smiled again and gave an old fashioned nod and a small bow. "I have been feeding this whole time Mathias. But I would hate to have you be late for a rendezvous on my account. A pleasure as always."

END

"And what is the greatest sacrifice to you personally" Mathias already knew his own answer, because he had already sacrificed it. His family and ultimately his freedom and fate. Given up and taken from him in order to make him into this.

"I understand. I was just curious, I didn't mean to be nosey". He smiled at his friend then stopped walking, "I appreciate your time, as always...but I do have someone waiting for me, and I'm sure you want to get to feeding. Thank you as always Suresh, and I hope you enjoy your Mardi Gras".

[thenoreen]

Task 005: Moodboard

Everyone’s favorite country music superstar has left the chat.

That big solitary house on Hickory Drive is dead quiet once again. A confused neighbor spotted Noreen Innocent wrangling two goats and her pet liger into a Porsche around 2 am on Sunday. The singer then took off at high speed.

The controversial country starlet has already been spotted near her Los Angeles home in the company of long term friend, the equally controversial Mathias Blair. After a series of cryptic posts on both of their Instagram pages, the pair have now confirmed their new musical venture, Holy Church of Richard Linklater.

Will she ever return to her country roots, or should this be considered a clean break from the genre? Innocent’s official statment on that is SUCK BLAIR’S DICK. So we wish her the best of luck going forward.

[eeraygun]

Top 285 Sonic Releases of 2018

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[suresh-lal]

Suresh focused a cold and withering stare on Mathias at the question. He was not going to be drawn into that waste of his time and energy. Though there was a small impulse to give Mathias an itemized list of his recent fuck ups categorized in chronological and then alphabetical order. "You are not that stupid. Don't pretend to be. It's insulting to us both."

"I don't have to be fair. The jobs just have to get done to the expected professional standard in the allotted amount of time." Which meant of course he was giving jobs to other hit men. Unless Mathias was specifically asked for he didn't bother. "I give jobs to people that keep their phones on."

"How do my actions speak otherwise?" Mathias did enjoy poking Suresh, although eventually he knew that it would get him into more trouble. But this felt good, he felt like he was slowly getting back to normal again after dying. Eventually it would be all behind him and the only thing left would be the scar on his neck.

"Are you sure you're not withholding stuff from me? Giving it to the other hitmen...'Cause that's not very fair".

[mareviola]

List of Sims

The First (and only) Matriarch - Lilian Castillo

001) Adrienne (f: Travis Scott) 

002) Bridie (f: Johnny Zest) 

003) Cecily (f: Don Lothario)

004) Debora (f: Louis Bergeron) 

005) Emi (f: Joshua Shipley) 

006) Amari (f: Duke Schmitt)

007) Bret (f: Duke Schmitt)

008) Conan (f: Mortimer Goth)

009) Fawn (f: Dakota Davison)

010) Gena (f: Kale Draper)

011) Haven (f: Barry Davison) 

012) Dudley (f: Noah Bradshaw)

013) Elias (f: J Huntington III)

014) Finnigan (f: Malcom Landgraab)

015) Garry (f: Colin Whitman)

016) Ianthe (f: Yahir Quinones)

017) Heston (f: Ezra Blackman)

018) Irving (f: Jordon Shipley)

019) Jai (f: Malachi Bergeron)

020) Keanu (f: Alfred Freeman)

021) Jesse (f: Ronnie Riggins) 

022) Lando (f: Alexander Goth)

023) Kayley (f: Tristen Carrillo)

024) Lacie (f: Tristen Carrillo) 

025) Micheal (f: Leonel Sharma)

026) Niklaus (f: Joey Woodall)

027) Marcie (f: Lewis Schmitt)

028) Orlando (f: Albert Wheeler)

029) Petar (f: Asher Rouya)

030) Quentin (f: James De Monte)

031) Narelle (f: Alexander Waldorf)

032) Octavia (f: Darrius Deaton)

033) Raphael (f: Sammy Groves)

034) Stefan (f: Sammy Groves)

035) Penelope (f: Vernon Camp)

036) Queenie (f: Jack Dogwwod)

037) Rylie (f: Yannik Theissen)

038) Theophilus (f: Clayton Wiseman)

039) Ulysses (f: Clarence Fields)

040) Sofia (f: Channing Hauser)

041) Van (f: Emiliano Billings)

042) Walter (f: Gulliver Christensen)

043) Tasha (f: Gulliver Clinton)

044) Unice (f: Gulliver Clinton)

045) Xavier (f: Duke Pickett)

046) Vivian (f: Chance Mosley) 

047) Wendy (f: Yahir Whipple)

048) Xanthe (f: Federico Michaels) 

049) Yvonne (f: Hector Lemus)

050) Zaira (f: Pablo Pringle)

051) Yves (f: Franklin Grove)

052) Zayn (f: Mathias Kay)

053) A. Aurelia (f: Venkat Katz)

054) B. Brielle (f: Joel Arriaga)

055) C. Carmela (f: Ahmad Sneed)

056) A. Amon (f: Ernesto Krause)

057) B. Benjamin (f: Raymond Christiansen)

058) D. Dessa (f: Elvis Escobedo)

059) E. Eliana (f: Phillip O’Neill)

060) C. Caden (f: Kasen Stiles)

061) D. Derik (f: Coty Nardone)

062) E. Emet (f: Avery Weller)

063) F. Fabio (f: Jon Lyman)

064) F. Fiora (f: Edison Lam)

065) G. Ginger (f: Edison Lam)

066) H. Hera (f: Conor Ceja)

067) I. Ivy (f: Omar McKinnon)

068) J. June (f: Aiden Cornell)

069) K. Karlee (f: Frank Kerner)

070) L. Leila (f: Nathanial Duran)

071) G. Glen (f: Floyd Jarrel)

072) H. Henry (f: Floyd Jarrel)

073) M. Mollie (f: Caden Rebuschatis)

074) I. Ivan (f: Giancarlo Vo)

075) N. Nadia (f: Dale Land)

076) J. Jordan (f: Ken Jacobson)

077) K. Kurt (f: Jamie Gamble)

078 ) L. Luis (f: Cannon Swenson)

079) M. Miles (f: Lonnie Robledo)

080) N. Neel (f: Eduardo Gallo)

081) O. Oliver (f: Daryl Costello)

082) O. Ophelia (f: Jarod Hong)

083) P. Philip (f: Jarod Hong)

084) P. Petra (f: Louis Nance)

085) Q. Quirrel (f: Gil Chow)

086) R. Riven (f: Gil Chow)

087) S. Sebastian (f: Ahmad Shipp)

088) Q. Quin (f: Dusty McCarty)

089) T. Tyler (f: Jorden Rodgers)

090) R. Regina (f: Zackery Ngo)

091) U. Uriel (f: Miguel Coley)

092) S. Sissy (f: Walker Bacon)

093) T. Terri (f: Tate Posey)

094) V. Vincent (f: Gideon Richey)

095) W. Wade (f: Gideon Richey)

096) X. Xander (f: Forrest Romano)

097) Y. Yuuri (f: Forrest Romano)

098) U. Uma (f: Pablo Morales)

099) Z. Zack  (f: Jairo Stapleton)

100) V. Victoria (f: Loren Neumann)

[la-isla]

LA ISLA #014

001 - Estrellas De Ritmo - San Juan P R 002 - Bonet de San Pedro - Adoracion 003 - Nappy Lamarandhis Levee Loungers - Mama Inez 004 - Roscoe Gordon - Maria 005 - Germano Mathias - Falso rebolado

006 - Germano Mathias - Minha pretinha 007 - Anjos do Inferno - Nega do Cabelo Duro 008 - Anjos do Inferno - Nega 009 - Aracy de Almeida - Tenha pena de Mim 010 - Trio de Ouro - Carreteiro 

[undead-jude]

"Recovering takes longer than breaking apart." Jude offered gently. Because it took more effort to fix things than to break them or leave them broken. And in general someone could only fix one thing at a time. There was a lot of hurt, a lot of recovery needed. But they were all working on it. One step at a time. "Some time away is a good way to recover. And sometimes it brings clarity when he get a bit of distance." That's why he'd taken that year away from Mathias. To get distance and clarity. And it had lead him back to the young man again.

Jude watched Mathias quietly as the younger man seemed to get lost in thought for a little while. He knew what he'd said. And what it might mean to Mathias. But after seeing him, carrying him out of that horror show it seemed a little ridiculous to not tell him. Even if it probably wasn't going to be the exact way that Mathias wanted it to be. Finally when Mathias looked at him Jude looked down at the younger man. He gave him a soft smile and said, "Of course. I wouldn't be here if I didn't." And that was true. If he didnt care for and love Mathias Jude wouldn't still be there.

"The hard part about taking a break is knowing that it won't fix thing right away. I wish I could leave and come back better, but it doesn't work that way". If he could elevate the pain and problems that came from Mardi Gras with a wave of his hand, Mathias would. People were hurting for different reasons, and it was hard to fix. He already knew his connection with Knox and Ric was starting to strain because of their different views. And he didn't even know how to go about fixing that without going against his own beliefs.

To love and be loved. That was the ultimate goal in Mathias' life. He had been close long ago, but that was ripped from his hands before it could ever blossom into something. It was why he still chased after it. He knew it worried those closest to him, the ones who saw the aftermath of it all. They wanted to protect him, while Mathias just wanted to feel that warmth in his chest one more time. He didn't expect Jude to say anything, he never did. The vampire was selective in his words and action because there were years of teachings that Mathias couldn't begin to unpack. So when he said no, he wasn't hurt. But then Jude said doesn't mean I don't.

That took sometime to compute in Mathias' mind. To understand what was being said and what it meant. He looked at Jude, his brows furrowed, "...You love me?"

[naga-raja-suresh]

Suresh let the topic lie while he walked with Mathias. Content in the quiet between them and the noise around them. The Lotus Eater boss nodded his head as Mathias spoke. He smiled and replied, "It goes back to the idea of sacrifice. The greater the offering the bigger the reward. It doesn't always have to be death. But what sacrifice is greater than a life full of potential to serve the greater cause?"

The Naga chuckled and shook his head, waving a finger in denial. "Of course our god has rules. All magic in the world has rules of a kind. Cords that bind me and my members together. But with utmost respect, they are none of your business."

Mathias understood what Suresh meant, even if he didn't like it. In the end, they were expendable. The Higher Ups definitely felt like they were. At the end of the day, Mathias would live on, while they all died of age. Then a new group would show up, and the cycle would repeat. But even though he knew these truths, Mathias didn't treat any of them as such. "To die for a greater purpose is considered a favorable way to die, right? I think I'd rather see them become old and withered...But I might be biased".

He was surprised that there were actual values among the Lotus Eaters and their beliefs. As far as Mathias knew, there wasn't any for him and his god. Perhaps he could change that. "What are those eight tenets? I didn't know you guys had something like that".

[naga-raja-suresh]

Suresh could feel the unspoken request. The curiosity. But unless Mathias put words to the feelings the Naga would say nothing about it. Many people were interested in the gift, and also interested in using it. But it had to be used carefully. A subtle knife.

It was true that sacrifices and gods went together. Offerings as well. Suresh smiled at the idea of being called devout. But he was. A devout and complete follower of Desire. He hadn't expected Mathias to elaborate. He knew better than to ask. But he listened. His brow furrowed slightly filling in the spaces silently. Finally, after the sigh Suresh turned to face the young man. "Please take this comment in the spirit which it is meant. They are expendable compared to you. That's what makes them followers and you the leader. That does not mean their lives should be taken for granted." He paused considering the lense of Mathias, "I am sure Life prefers them to survive. And that might be where the upset comes in." He shook his head, "Not a book. I leave the esoteric ramblings for religious leaders and philosophers." He gestured to the party goers around them. "This is the perfect example of why a book is not always so useful... For us it can simply be a list of what are the core values of what you all believe. Desire has eight tenets. And they help me keep the thread and maintain order."

It had always been tempting for Mathias to ask for Suresh's help in learning about the feelings of others. To peel back the layers and find out the truth. But that would be going too far and betraying the trust of so many. They were things that Mathias didn't get permission to know about and he needed to respect that.

"Sacrifices and gods seem to go hand in hand though. But I suppose those that can withstand it are the truly devout". He didn't mean to unload on Suresh, Mathias was trying to keep the inner business of the Deathrunners to themselves. "I'm not unhappy that they worry, I am just upset over the manner in which they do it. It's like their lives are expendable compared to mine". The necromancer sighed, "There isn't a book that lays it all out for me. I'm making it up as I go sadly".

[naga-raja-suresh]

"It's not exactly correct but the easiest way to explain the sensation." And if was not without its limitations. As with all powers and gifts. Reading emotions was not infallible. They were not thoughts. Thoughts required far more intense interference, things tied to strong emotions. But feeling what others felt was very useful. And caused others to relax around him in a way that drew them closer to the Naga. So many had an intense desire to be understood.

The Naga nodded. "The second part is the strength to endure the sacrifices made. Many people can give things up in the short term it's the learning to live without that causes so many to crumble. Dissonance in the world you always wanted and the world as it must be." The comment about the ones closest to Mathias drew Suresh's attention. He knew each member of that small group and wondered curiously what troubles lingered in the Deathrunners house. Suresh smiled as Mathias continued and laughed, "You're not unhappy because they worry for you, Mathias, are you?" He lifted a hand up, "But this sounds more like a lack of belief. What are the tenets of the god of Life? What must your followers truly believe to help them see you through what must be?" Suresh stopped himself and shook his head, "I apologize for lecturing my friend."

"That's interesting". He never considered what emotions would taste like to the naga. If there were ones that Suresh preferred more than others. But knowing that the naga could sense what he felt made things easier. Mathias didn't have to vocally admit to anything, and could just let them go unsaid and still know that they would be understood.

"I have learned that it is the price for a taste of the divine. The sacrifices needed in order to ascend or even just touch a bit of godhood". Life was all about giving up something to get something, it was a lesson Sebastian taught Mathias early on. Everything had a price, and sometimes that price was a heavy one. It didn't mean the prize wasn't worth it though. "Yeah, I wish I could make that clear to the ones closest to me. They're worried about me dying so much but they don't realize that dying is what must happen in order for me to get stronger".

[naga-raja-suresh]

"It tastes very pleasant. Like cotton candy on the tongue. Spun sugar." Suresh replied. Feeling the soft projection of the other. The shift in emotions as he thought about his priest. Suresh had told Mathias the truth. At least as he knew it. But how all these things turned out was up to the people involved. Jude was an interesting and volatile weak spot on the Deathrunner's leader. Not that Suresh had any current plans to exploit such a thing. Too unpredictable.

Suresh ran his tongue along his lower lip, tasting and scenting the crowds of people come to indulge themselves. A lovely meal. The comment about his strength made Suresh's smile widen, flashing white teeth as he chuckled. "For a while now, yes... Most of my kind I think would find what I did abhorrent. I gave up atonomy for power. And I invited Desire in, gave myself over completely." He paused, "You must always give something, to get something Mathias. What is just the way of it."

"Puppy love" That was very fitting for what Mathias was feeling. He just wasn't sure if it was one sided or not. He could see that there was some amount of affection towards him within Jude, but he didn't know how much of it was there. Or if he was just projecting. But Suresh said Jude didn't hate him, and Mathias needed to believe that.

As they walked through the crowds, Mathias thought about how many strangers were under the influence of their own beliefs. All the choices they made in their lives, every decision and action, were orchestrated by what they believed in. Everyone had their own gods of their lives, and the gang leaders were just trying to add themselves to that list.

"Well you've been an avatar for a while now right? You must be pretty strong to withstand all that power".

[naga-raja-suresh]

Suresh did wonder what might happen if things truly did fall apart between Mathias and his wayward priest. Heartbreak could be very motivating. What it might motivate the young man to do though... that was the question. "Don't you know?" Suresh said with a teasing smile but added, "I think it's called... puppy love. I was curious. You remembered something and then the emotion surged." Suresh could do simple math, but he didn't ask for details.

The Naga was a master of influence. He just prefered for people to not know how deep and far his roots ran through the city. Like the roots of the trees in the bayou. Hidden under murky water. Suresh nodded as Mathias made his guess. "That is part of it. But also something more simple." Suresh moved through the crowd like water, effortlessly moving through the crush. "Having a direct conduit to a god's power inside causes many creatures to either physically rip apart or go mad. It is very difficult to achieve symbiosis."

Mathias was taking the advice to heart, because truly he did want things to work out between Jude and him. "Yeah" He said. He had fallen in love with just talking to Jude way back then, and now he was able to do it whenever. That was really nice. The priest had a wealth of knowledge and saw things in a way no one else seemed to. When Suresh touched him, Mathias blinked. Usually Suresh did ask, so he was surprised it happened but not mad. "What did you feel?"

"I am using power as a measure, but also influence". A gods power only stretched as far as their influence. Suresh could easily become a master of influence just from his powers alone. Mathias shook his head at the other's question, "No I don't. I was never told, I think it wasn't something that they saw important to teach. But I imagine you're rare because some gods aren't powerful enough or they just don't need an avatar".

[naga-raja-suresh]

Suresh smiled again at the question. "Talk to him like you are you and he is him. Past acknowledged but the future unknown. Which all sounds far more mystical than it is. You've been talking to him for over a year haven't you? Isn't that partially why you made him your advisor? To have reasons to talk to him?" He felt something in Mathias. A stirring of a memory. Something recent. And he reached a hand out and brushed the young man's shoulder, just a soft touch meant in kindness and curiosity to better understand. Suresh's smile widened just a little, "Apologies... I should have asked before touching."

The Naga shook his head. "Age doesn't make us gods. And if we are using power as a measure..." Suresh gave a soft shrug that could mean anything. But he knew that Corvinus and Mathias both held potential to be as or more powerful than himself. His golden eyes on Mathias' lovely blue. He took a breath and let it out slowly, feeling the crowds around them both, "Do you know the reasons for avatars Mathias? Why we are rare?"

"Then what would you suggest I do? How am I suppose to talk to him?" He asked. Mathias didn't want to act like they were in love or anything, that would have scared Jude off perhaps. If he acted like nothing had happened between them, then it could be awkward. While the kisses they shared were done under bloodlust and blood loss, it still happened.

Mathias smiled at his friend, "Suresh, you're the closest thing to a god than anyone else in this city. Mr. Atlas always told me that avatars weren't something to brush off. And who knows, maybe one day you'll be one too. Right?"

[father-jude]

There was a level of hypervigilance that sometimes allowed Jude to be aware of Mathias. But with how many people were in his perish, and the city it was easy for the younger man to disappear into a crowd. That was one of the fascinating things about Mathias. And only a dangerous one. Jude at times let Mathias think he didn't know that the young man was around. Because he didn't want to make Mathias feel like to he had to work harder to hide. Didn't want to escalate things. Because Mathias was escalating things.

"Things often happen to us that are outside of our control. All we can do it try to react to them." The wording that Mathias had used -without your permission- was not lost or ignored. It spoke volumes but Jude was not comfortable addressing it at that time. Looking over at Mathias Jude smiled at the reassurance, "That would be difficult. Since I'm never there." Seeing the church coming into view at the end of the street Jude nodded his head, "I'm happy there. Built in 1887. It's a lovely old building."

"I see" It truly was the little things that interested him. He couldn't stalk Jude like he did other people, because the priest seemed to be aware of his presence at times. Also, Mathias wanted to handle this as delicately as he could tolerate. Once he reached the point he couldn't tolerate, he would move to more intense methods. For now, Jude was safe from that.

He nodded his head a little, "What a horrible curse to put on someone, right? Forced the kill the people who brought you into the world without your permission". Because if Mathias had it his way, his brother would have entered the world without him. "It is. Don't worry, I won't come snooping around your childhood neighborhood. I quite like seeing you at your church. It's a wonderful backdrop, don't you think?"

[naga-raja-suresh]

Suresh smiled indulgently and shook his head, "You talk about him like he hates you. Do you think that has no effect on how you treat him?" It was easier to guide Mathias than to tell him things. The young man was bright and when given the opportunity was capable of figuring things out for himself. Suresh had always wanted to give Mathias the chance to be fully himself with the Naga. To work through things and bounce thoughts off of. And Suresh never treated Mathias like a child. He understood what being a sacrifice meant for the divine entailed. Even if their stories were different.

Suresh looked at the sky for a moment as he listened to Mathias. He gave a soft nod, "No. We will never know what might have been. You are on a very different path now. No turning from it." The Naga slid his golden eyes to Mathias and shook his head, "I am not a god, Mathias. I am the window which my god uses to peer through."

"I don't treat him like he hates me...I think". Now Mathias really had to think about it. Was he pushing Jude away? Maybe he should rethink the way he acted around the priest. He just wanted Jude to like him, in any way at this point.

It was easy to talk to Suresh. Even though they were different people, and had very different experiences in life, it was very easy to speak with him. Suresh was also the only one who could understand the fate of the divine. How all that power felt inside, and how burdening it was. "The wild, yes...I do wonder what I would have been like if I was out there. But I suppose we'll never know, right? Even if I break out, I doubt I'd be let off a leash. Gods don't walk among mortals...But then again, I suppose you do".