vampfangsnwhiskey-blog

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What. The. Hell!?

Jayne: Bean and Cheese

yup. I've decided that is what I will have. 400 calories..that aint bad LOL

for 2.

Me: i hate beans lol

unless they're from azteca

Jayne:oh man..I love them...When they're in Chili OH YEAH sp fucking godo

wow.

SO FUCKING GOOD

lmfao

Me: calm down Jayne. calm down.

Jayne: I can't Amanda. I just....Can't

I wouldn't mind having cauliflower cheese soup from Tim Hortons right now though..mm

WOW my aunt looks like a fucking psychopath

Me: califlorwer is nasty too

Jayne: DUDE

WHAT THE EFF

lmfao

Me: califlorwer? what the fuck is that?

Jayne: have you never had it covered in cheese?

LOL

Me: you know what...i don't even care haha.

lmfao

lol yes i have. it still tastes like the smell of buttholes.

Jayne: I made Ian a bag of cheese sauce once. He said my food was wonderful so I put the remaining sauce in to ziplock bags

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Me and my old best friend used to watch the shit out of the movie and this was our JAM for the longest time haha!

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I love this movie. And I LOVE this song in general, but especially in this movie. <3

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So guess what I learned today...I'm allergic to our Christmas tree.... fa la la la, la la la FUCK THIS SHIT! UGHHHH my nose feels like someone shot a gun filled with itching powder, rancid ass, and sprite up it. Please kill me now.

Me

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You're wrong Bonnie Bennett. He is fucking fabulous. <3

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MMMMMM yes please. :D

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This is cool :]

Everyone who reblogs this post will get their URL written in this book by me!

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I'm learning this fucking dance, damn it. I have no idea wtf he is saying 95% of the time, but I LOVE this man.

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HAHAHHAHA!!!

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I reblogged this picture an hour ago and someone messaged me on tumblr 5 minutes later telling me that she was about to overdose and even though i dont know her because i reblogged this and she saw it she didnt kill herself tonite. Please reblog this. I just saved a life.

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I wish he would of...

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SO CUTE!

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So true. I miss mine more than words could ever say. I love you Elsie Marie. August 3rd, 2004 - October 24th, 2012. I'll miss you forever babygirl.

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You want to know who my real best friend is? This dog, right here. Since I was fourteen years-old, this pretty baby was always there for me. Through all the bullshit that everyone else put me through, she was the one constant thing in my life that never hurt me, stayed by my side, never judged me, and loved me unconditionally for who I was and who I have become. I would give absolutely anything in the entire world to have just one more day with my precious angel. Fuck you cancer for taking away the one thing that I loved more than anything else in the entire world. I miss you every single day Elsie Marie. I know you're in a better place and you're not in pain anymore but I wish I could of had more time with you. Thank you for making my life amazing for eight years. As I sit here typing this, I have to constantly stop and wipe away the tears from my eyes. I just want one more time where I can hug you and give you tons of kisses and laugh as I watch you play with your toys. Which, by the way, I wear your dog tag every, single day and I sleep with your favorite pink and green monkey every night and take it in my purse with me wherever I go. I love you baby girl and I miss you so much that I could never even begin to describe it because there's no word that equals how much. Until I see you again, I just want to say that I will never stop missing you and I will never stop loving you as much as I always have and always will love you. You were the best dog in the entire world. I miss you. </3

Love always,

You sissy<3

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I was laughing so hard just trying to take this picture. I did this Mad Lib with my best friend when we were in like ninth or tenth grade... and I just found it again looking around through stuff! If you can't make out what it says, here is the whole thing:

A Charming Story With A Happy Ending

Once upon a/an Hairy Testicle, there were three little pigs. The first pig was very hookerish, and he built a house for himself out of ugly vaginas. The second pig was stanky, and he built a house out of old man balls. But the third little pig was very stupid, and he built his house out of genuine golden dildos. Well one day, a mean old wolf came along and saw the houses. "Fuck me, Agnus!" he said. I'll fuck and I'll poop and I'll blow your house down." And he blew down the first little pig's Grandma and the second little pig's used old condoms. The two little pigs ran to the third little pig's house. Thereupon, the wolf began blowing, but he couldn't blow down the third little pig's shit pile house. So he farted off into the forest, and the three little boner pigs moved to Chicago and went into the sausage business.

OMFG I never laughed so hard in my life!

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Last one...I promise. It's just SO FUNNY!!!!

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LMFAO his face! He looks like he needs an exorcism! HAHAHHA I love Kylemonkey!