#MeatPieBingeChallenge

[the-most-humble-blog]

Hive City Pucker Pastry Meat Pie Festival

– NOW SHOVING HOT GREASE AND BAD DECISIONS STRAIGHT DOWN YOUR F*CKING THROAT!

🚨 WARNING: If you're here for "healthy options," fck right off. This is the Hive City Pucker Pastry Meat Pie Festival, not a fcking yoga retreat.

🍖 ALL MEAT, ALL GREASE, ALL BAD DECISIONS. 🎟️ NO REFUNDS. NO MERCY. NO F*CKING REGRETS.

🔥 FEATURED MENU ITEMS – IF YOUR COLON CAN HANDLE IT 🔥

🥧 "THE F*CK AROUND AND FIND OUT" PIE – $12.99

Stuffed with mystery meat (it’s probably beef… probably).

Baked in a buttery, lard-soaked, heart-attack-waiting-to-happen crust.

So f*cking greasy, NASA is considering it as alternative rocket fuel.

Comes with a mandatory waiver.

💀 "THE MEAT APOCALYPSE" PIE – $15.99

Four goddamn animals died for this bad boy.

Meat so packed in, this sht has its own fcking gravitational pull.

Drenched in sinfully thick brown gravy that clogs your arteries just by looking at it.

Eat at your own f*cking risk.

🔥 "PUCKER UP, B*TCHES" CHILI PIE – $14.99

Meat filling spicier than your last breakup.

Drenched in gravy that has absolutely no reason to be this f*cking thick.

Served with a shot of whiskey and a prayer.

🤢 "THE REGRET SPECIAL" – $18.99

Includes one overloaded meat pie, a bucket of mashed potatoes, and a f*cking sense of doom.

Served with a free barf bag, because we already f*cking know.

Only for true degenerates who no longer fear God.

🍗 "THE PUKER PLATTER" FAMILY MEAL – $49.99

Three monstrous pies, one trough of mashed potatoes, a pint of gravy, and your last will and testament.

Includes one free ambulance ride.

🔥 SIDE DISHES THAT SHOULDN’T EXIST 🔥

🍟 MEAT FAT FRIES – $7.99

Fried in 100% beef drippings because f*ck your arteries.

So crunchy they might chip a f*cking tooth.

🍗 "F*CK YOUR DIET" FRIED CHICKEN CHUNKS – $9.99

Deep-fried, double-battered, triple-stupid.

Dripping in "What the f*ck did I just eat?" sauce.

Includes a side of "You’ll regret this later."

🧀 "HEART ATTACK MAC" – $8.99

Mac & Cheese with an illegal amount of cheese.

More butter than an entire Thanksgiving dinner.

Topped with fried bacon bits just to be extra f*cking rude.

🔥 FESTIVAL SPECIAL CHALLENGES 🔥

🚨 "THE LAST MAN STANDING" PIE CHALLENGE – FREE (If You Survive) 🚨

💀 EAT ONE WHOLE PIE, CHUG A LITER OF GRAVY, AND TRY NOT TO DIE. 🏆 Prize: Absolutely nothing. Just shame, pain, and the respect of a few fellow degenerates.

🔥 "RUN, B*TCH, RUN!" PIE MARATHON – $10 ENTRY

🥧 Eat a full meat pie, then attempt to run a quarter-mile. 🚑 Winner gets a defibrillator and a round of applause.

🔥 DRINK MENU – BECAUSE YOU’RE GONNA NEED IT 🔥

🍺 "MEAT SWEAT RELIEF" BEER – $5.99

Ice-cold.

Has no business being this f*cking refreshing.

You WILL need at least three.

🥃 "F*CK IT, LET’S GO" WHISKEY SHOT – $8.99

A shot of whiskey to prepare you for the incoming regret.

Pairs perfectly with existential dread.

🥤 "YOUR KIDNEYS ARE F*CKED" SODA – $4.99

Pure sugar.

No nutritional value.

Your dentist will sense this decision from miles away.

🔥 FINAL WARNING, YOU SICK F*CKS 🔥

👉 THIS AIN’T A F*CKING JOKE. This festival is about over-indulgence, bad choices, and culinary war crimes.

🚨 NO REFUNDS. NO COMPLAINTS. NO MERCY. 💀 SEE YOU THERE, OR SEE YOU IN THE F*CKING ER.

🔥 REBLOG if you’d risk your f*cking life for one of these pies. 🍖

💬 COMMENT which meal would send you straight to hell. 💀 🚀 FOLLOW for more food festivals that make dieticians cry.