We ended as Lovers (8/12)
Summary: Three years ago, Felicity’s life was perfect. She was offered a job at two great companies. Her boyfriend just started his own fashion label, and they picked a perfect apartment to live in together. The more heartbroken she was when Oliver got cold feet and it all ended. Now, Felicity is coming back to Starling City, well aware that she is destined to run into her ex-boyfriend there. While old feelings revive quickly, the pain still goes deep. Besides, for some reason Oliver seems to be angry with her.
Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 or read on Ao3
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Chapter 8: Devil in Tuxedo
No matter how many times Oliver had gone through everything that had happened three years ago, in the light of his latest conversation with Felicity, it just didn’t make any sense.
Felicity hadn’t shown up to sign the rental contract for the townhouse, but they had resolved that issue yesterday. They had both messed up with the way they had fooled around instead of saying out loud when and where they would meet. It was nobody’s fault. They had both just messed up.
When he had gone to see her three years ago, trying to talk it out with her three long years passed, Adrian had been there. He was shirtless, and his chest had been covered with water. Felicity had called him from the shower, asking what was taking him so long when she was already wet.
For the last three years, everything about that had seemed quite clear to Oliver. He had been sure that he knew exactly what had been going on in that apartment that day. After all, he wasn’t known to be naïve, and even a shout into his face couldn’t have screamed the truth louder.
After his conversation with Felicity, he wasn’t sure that this was the truth anymore though. If it had been true, Felicity would have known what he had talked about. Instead, she had been completely clueless. She hadn’t known why Adrian had stood in the frame of the door without a shirt.
If anyone had told him that he would believe Felicity if she told him that she hadn’t had sex with Oliver, he would have either laughed out bitterly or punched that person in the face. As recently as fifteen minutes ago, he wouldn’t have been able to believe that he was capable of believing her.
Oliver hurried up the stairs to the terrace, taking two steps at a time. As soon as he reached the head of the stairs, he sat down on the balustrade and reached into the inside pocket of his tuxedo jacket. He grabbed the box of cigarettes and put one of them between his lips.
Even now, he could still see Felicity’s face in front of him. Felicity had been so clueless, her eyes showing so much confusion. She couldn’t have faked this. Even if she could have faked it, he knew she hadn’t. Felicity was a lot of things, dishonest was not one of them.
While he was searching for his lighter in the many pockets of his tuxedo, his gaze fell through the window and into the living room where people had gathered already. Oliver guessed that most guests had already arrived since it was already seven-fifteen. At least Adrian was already there, standing together with their mutual friend Tommy Merlyn and Sara’s sister Laurel.
If one person could bring light into the darkness, it was Adrian. He was that linking piece between his version and Felicity’s point of view. Even more so, he had reaffirmed Oliver’s suspicion, saying something about being caught if Oliver remembered correctly, so Adrian definitely had to answer some questions now.
Oliver threw his unlit cigarette into the flowerbed carelessly and walked towards the door with large steps. His anger caused him to use way too much strength on pushing the door open. It banged against the wall with a loud noise.
“Hey.”
His voice was a lot louder than intended. The few heads that hadn’t turned in his direction when the door had hit the wall, turned to look at him now. Nosy eyes looked him up and down, taking him in. From the corners of his eyes, he could see them turning back soon.
Adrian’s gaze was the only ones that stayed focused on him. He had his eyes narrowed slightly, looking at him with a mixture of interest in what was going on and maybe some suspicion of what it was. He casually pushed one hand into the pocket of his pants and took a sip of his champagne. Oliver wasn’t sure, but he believed that the corners of Adrian’s lips were twitching in amusement, a dark and cruel kind of amusement.
He approached Adrian with the same quick and strong steps he had used when he had stepped into the house. He straightened his shoulders, making himself as tall and as broad as possible, but Adrian seemed unimpressed.
“Oliver,” he said, his voice light, “it’s been like forever since we last talked. I mean how long has it been? Three years?”
There was something about the way Adrian looked at him and the way he talked to him that told Oliver that his unwell feeling towards him was right. There was something wrong about Adrian. He definitely had his fingers in all of this.
“What happened between Felicity and you that evening three years ago when we were supposed to sign our rental contract?”
His voice was lowered to a dark growl. As much as he wanted to grab Adrian by the lapels of his jacket and pin him against the wall, he didn’t want to cause a scene like that. This was Sara and Nyssa’s night, and he didn’t want to ruin it for her. He would do his best, so nobody would realize what was going on here.
With a brief glance past Adrian’s head, he could see that he had already failed. Tommy Merlyn was standing right beside him. Although he kept his eyes lowered to his feet, pretending to be busy drinking his beer, Oliver could see that he had his eyes pricked up. He was listening, but Oliver couldn’t care less.
“That’s such an old story, Ollie,” Adrian said, shaking his head, “we should move past this, don’t you think?”
“Don’t avoid the question.” Oliver almost hissed the words, staring at Adrian angrily. “What the hell happened back then?”
The pretended surprise in Adrian’s gaze gave way for an amused grin. It spread on Adrian’s face, and he couldn’t even hide it when he took another sip of his champagne.
“If you really want to know,” he said, pretending that Oliver was asking the impossible for him and releasing a long sigh, “it started on the couch. We were just talking, celebrating her new job in Gotham City, when Felicity suddenly suggested having sex.”
“Adrian.”
Tommy whispered his name warningly, probably knowing Oliver a lot better than Adrian did. Adrian didn’t listen. If he did, he didn’t care.
“I wanted to decline,” he continued, “but she said she was in urgent need of a real cock filling her. She basically jumped at me, and I could feel her desperation. I guess she wasn’t taken the way she wanted and needed in quite some while, so I did that for her. We got into the bathroom and under the shower. After your little interruption, I ripped her clothes off her with my teeth and took her. Hard.”
Oliver had to tell himself to breathe in and out slowly. His lungs seemed unwilling or unable to take in any air. He needed it to keep his already clenched fist from hitting Adrian right in the face. His knuckles were tingling with the need to do so.
Adrian’s words got Oliver’s imagination spinning. He saw snippets of ideas of what Adrian and Felicity might have done that day. For the last three years, those imagines had managed to sneak their way into his head again and again. They were tormenting him when he was less expecting it, making it hard to fall asleep or focus on the model grinding against him.
Shaking his head, Oliver shook those thoughts off. He couldn’t allow them into his head now. They would only distract him when he should focus on pushing Adrian for the truth instead. He had been waiting for the truth for too long already.
“God, she screamed my name so loud that I thought her neighbors would call the cops.”
“I don’t believe you,” Oliver hurried to say, pressing his fists close to his body to keep from punching him after all, “because Felicity says that nothing happened between you two. I believe her.”
For a split second, Adrian’s face faltered. It was almost like he was trying to figure out which tactic to continue with.
“Maybe she’s lying.”
He had chosen wrong because now Oliver knew that Adrian was hiding something. For the last three years, he had pretended that he and Felicity were best friends and maybe hooking up occasionally. Claiming that she was lying went against everything he had tried to make people believe so far.
“Felicity’s not lying,” Oliver said, his voice still low, and shook his head, “according to her, nothing happened between you two.”
Oliver didn’t know what he had expected. Maybe he had thought that Adrian would lower his gaze guiltily and say that he might have exaggerated a little bit. Maybe he had imagined him to frown in confusion and say that he had no idea what was going on.
Instead, Adrian’s grin widened. “I guess that, if she didn’t lie, I must have been the one lying.”
So, Oliver guessed it was true. Adrian had been at Felicity’s apartment that evening, and he had used a fortunate but innocent moment to pretend that he had had sex with Felicity. He had put a wedge between him and Felicity, and he had done so purposefully.
“I guess you did?” he asked, his voice still lowered to a whisper. “You did lie?”
Adrian chuckled, raising his glass to him, and nodded his head. He emptied his glass of champagne and put it onto the tray of a passing waitress. He released a long sigh then, nodding his head once more.
“Yes, I did,” he admitted unashamedly, “I lied, and it was so easy to make you believe it. I mean what did I really have to do other than standing in the frame of the door without a shirt and tell you that it was exactly what it looked like. You just believed me, not one single glimpse of trust in Felicity’s loyalty or faithfulness. It was almost too easy.”
Oliver sucked in a deep breath against the heavy weight that seemed to press down on his chest. All the pieces of this giant puzzle that had never seemed to fit together finally fell into place. Everything made sense now, or at least it made more sense than it had before.
“God, it was so much fun watching you put yourself through all of that misery.” Adrian chuckled once more. “When I decided on this plan, I thought that you would just sulk a little bit and move on to the next girl maybe. Instead, you fell into this utter misery and let yourself be annoyed with it even years after that.”
There had been uncountable times that Oliver had seen Adrian during some occasion. They had never talked to each other, but Oliver had always felt like Adrian was rubbing that evening with Felicity right into his face. He had always managed to flash him a grin or toast his glass to him or even just nodded his head in his direction in a way that made sure that Oliver remembered that evening.
“God, it was just so much more than I could have hoped for.” Again, Adrian chuckled, and his gaze intensified as he took Oliver in. “You must have really loved Felicity.”
There was an almost honest surprise in Adrian’s voice. After everything he had done and everything it had done to Oliver, he was still surprised that Oliver’s feelings for Felicity had been sincere.
Oliver’s head was spinning from all this information. He had a thousand things to say, but he couldn’t get a word out. His throat felt tight. His heart ached. It felt like his world had been hit by an earthquake.
Three long years, he had hated Felicity for leaving him and jumping into bed with Adrian before Oliver even got a chance of convincing her otherwise. He had doubted everything they had had, thinking that it might have never been real, at least not for her. He had been unable to give love another try because his heart had still been hers which had made him hate himself a lot more than Oliver had known until a couple of days ago.
While the party was still going on Oliver’s world felt like it had stopped. There was nothing and nobody there, but Adrian and him. Even if a masked gunman came into the mansion now, he wouldn’t be able to focus on it.
Adrian had ruined his relationship with Felicity. He had ruined all the memories and all the plans Oliver had had. He had taken away Oliver’s belief in love.
“Why?” Oliver asked out in a whisper because that was what it all came down to. “Why did you do it?”
Adrian stepped a little closer to Oliver. He was one of the few men that was just as muscular as Oliver. They had a similar physique, but Adrian was just a little bit taller than Oliver. He wasn’t intimidated by Oliver’s physique like he was used to with most men.
“I wanted you to know what it’s like to lose someone you love. I wanted you to know what it’s like to have a friend take that person away from you.”
Oliver didn’t understand. He didn’t know if it was because of the rushing blood in his ears or because of the flood of information that seemed to be hitting him today. Maybe it was that, again, Oliver was missing some information though. He didn’t know.
“I don’t… what?”
Adrian’s jaw clenched, and his muscles tensed. Whatever his motives were, anger seemed to accompany them.
“Do you remember Emma?”
Emma. Oliver tried to recall every Emma he knew. Emma Watson. Emma Stone. Emma Roberts. Emma Thompson. Emma Darwin. Emma Frost. Emma Swan. Emma what’s-her-name-again from Jane Austen’s book.
Oliver doubted that any of those Emmas had caused Adrian to ruin his life. He couldn’t think of any other Emma though. Maybe some of his models had been called Emma, but he had only met those during the last three years. Even if it had been earlier, he doubted that any of them had had and connection to Adrian. God, even if they had, how could he have taken them from him?
“Emma?”
Adrian shook his head, not believing that Oliver wouldn’t even know who that Emma was. Apparently, she must have been an important person in his life.
“Emma Gibson.”
Admittedly, that name rang a bell for Oliver, but he couldn’t focus on finding out where he had heard that name before. He was too churning by everything he had found out in the last twenty minutes. He was surprised he didn’t lose consciousness.
“She was a year under us in high school,” Adrian said, his voice lowered to a dark growl now, “and she has been to most of the parties we have been too. I was into her. During Tommy’s birthday party in our senior year, I have talked to her for hours, and I wanted to ask her out on a date. I just left her side for like ten minutes to get us some drinks. When I came back, you were already leading her upstairs for some quick fun. I was forgotten.”
Oliver would lie if he said that he remembered exactly who Emma Gibson was. During his time in high school, Oliver had done some seriously dumb things. Drinking way too much and hooking up with way too many girls were just two of those. He had never knowingly hooked up with a taken girl, especially none that was taken by a friend. If he hadn’t known about Adrian’s crush, Oliver didn’t doubt that he might have tried his luck.
That was the entire reason Adrian had turned Oliver’s life upside down and turn it into something that, in Oliver’s opinion, was close to a living hell?
“A high school crush?” Oliver asked, his voice louder than he probably noticed himself, shaking his head in disbelief. “Because of a high school crush, you pretended that you and Felicity had sex, so I would hate her?”
“Yes.”
Adrian’s answer was as simple as that, making Oliver falter. He waited for him to continue. There had to be more, but Adrian didn’t seem like he wanted to continue. For him, it really was as simple as that.
“She was a high school crush.” Oliver felt a thousand emotions mixing in his chest, making him feel hot and cold at the same time, rubbing his breath and making his heart pound, “and Felicity was the love of my life. You made me hate the only woman I have ever truly loved because your high school crush decided to rather have sex with me than talk with you?”
“Yes.”
Again, just this little answer. He said it so naturally that Oliver actually wondered if he was the one being wrong. Maybe he was the one not taking this seriously enough when he had actually done a terrible, unforgivable thing that made him deserve this.
Oliver doubted it. Maybe he had deserved a warning. He had deserved to see that going for his pleasure so easily might have hurt others. But losing Felicity had been more than a warning. It had been more than he had deserved so much more.
“Do you have any idea what you have done?
“Oh, it’s very simple,” Adrian said, his grin now turning almost evil, “incredibly simple really When I met you at the gym and you told me that you had to leave to sign the rental contract for the townhouse, I realized that you must have messed something up. Felicity had told me about the loft after all. So, what did I do? I stole your phone to make sure you wouldn’t be able to contact her and let you go there. Meanwhile, I went to the loft and followed Felicity home after that, making sure that she wouldn’t run into you. Then I invited myself over to her place, using some excuse. I told her that I had met you at the gym, which was the truth, but I might have lied a little when it came to the future of your relationship. You know, I needed a reason to spend a little more time with her after all, and comforting her after her idiot of a boyfriend wasn’t able to deal with her strength and her success.”
Adrian must have waited years for the chance to get his revenge. For years, he must have waited for Oliver to find someone who really meant something to him. Then he must have waited another few years until there was finally a situation that opened up a chance to drive a wedge between Oliver and Felicity. He had used the misunderstanding regarding their future home and Oliver’s terrible first reaction to Felicity’s job offer to break them apart.
And it had worked. Two years of real love destroyed within a couple of minutes.
“What about the shower?”
Oliver had to know the whole story. Although he already knew that none of what he had thought to be true had really happened, he needed to hear the entire story to the end. It was the only thing keeping him from lashing out right now.
“Well, Felicity wanted to take a shower, but her showerhead didn’t work properly. I helped her fix it when you finally knocked at the door. I left her there, the water sprinkling around, while I left my shirt in the living room and opened the door for you.”
“To make it look like you had sex with her.”
“Felicity’s inability to form sentences that don’t carry some kind of ambiguousness made it very easy.”
Felicity had called for Adrian to come back because she was already wet. She hadn’t meant to tell him that she was ready to continue having sex with him though. She had meant that she was actually soaked by water from the showerhead. Adrian had just made it look differently.
“Really, it was so easy to make all of this work once the right situation was there.” Adrian sighed. “The only thing that would have made it even better was if Felicity had actually let me fuck her. I tried to seduce her, but that girl was just as loyal as a puppy, saying her heart was all yours and that she was a faithful soul. It was annoying, but it was ironic given how easily thought that she was the biggest slut.”
Oliver couldn’t say if it was the word slut in reference to Felicity, the way Adrian had said that he had wanted to fuck Felicity or maybe the entirety of this situation finally being enough for Oliver. Either way, something inside him snapped. His muscles that had been so tense that he couldn’t have moved even a second ago suddenly moved.
With one purposeful movement, he punched Adrian right in the face. His head moved back, and blood came from his nose. Oliver saw it, and a part of him believed that it was enough. He should stop right here.
As much as Oliver told himself that, his muscles refused to listen though. He went at Adrian again and again, punching his face, his stomach and everything else he could reach. Adrian did his best to hit back, and he did land quite some hits as he was just as trained as Oliver was. Despite the strong punches, Oliver barely felt any pain.
His rage blinded him for anything but the undying need to hit his knuckles against every inch of Adrian’s body. Every muscle in his body was aching with the need to hit him again and again until that freaking grin was finally wiped off his face.
Eventually, Oliver managed to take Adrian by surprise and push him backwards. He ended up on the floor, sliding over the hardwood for a few feet. Several people jumped out of the way, making room for him. Maybe the fact that they had quite some viewership should have told Oliver to finally stop now, but he was still caught by his rage.
Before Adrian could sit up, Oliver lunged at him. He pinned him down to the floor with one hand and used the other to punch his face again and again.
Three years of misery and three years of misdirected anger crushed down on Oliver all at once it seemed. His body wasn’t able to carry it all. He would go inside trying to keep it inside of him. It just had to be left out.
He was still going at Adrian despite how firmly his fists were punching his ribs when his arms were grabbed by two hands each. He was lifted off Adrian and pulled back. He fought the hands, but their grip was too strong.
“Oliver,” John, who was holding onto his right arm, warned him, “it’s enough.”
No, it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly enough. He wanted to break every single bone in Adrian’s body. He wanted him to feel the same pain that Oliver had felt for three long years now. He wanted him to feel that much pain that he felt he couldn’t possibly be happy ever again. For the rest of his life, he should feel that there was a void, something that nothing and nobody could ever fill.
Oliver tried to fight off John’s and his father’s hands, but they were only increasing their effort to hold him back.
“This is not over yet, Queen!”
Adrian jumped up onto his feet and took a step towards Oliver. Tommy Merlyn stepped in front of him and held him back though. He had trouble to keep Adrian in check, but he did somehow.
“So come here!” Oliver yelled at him. “I’ll gladly break some more bones in your face.”
Adrian just laughed. His dry and mischievous laughter almost echoed through the room. It felt like it was stabbing Oliver right into the heart once more. Adrian still enjoyed this. He enjoyed how Oliver was lashing out at him.
Oliver almost managed to sneak one arm out of Robert’s strong hold. He was about to put just a little more effort into freeing himself when something in the reflection of the large mirror over the fireplace caught Oliver’s attention.
His heart stood still when her recognized Felicity. He hadn’t noticed that she had returned from her moment alone outside. He wasn’t sure if that would have changed anything, but at least her presence here wouldn’t have taken him by surprise like that.
Oliver turned his head back over his shoulder. He wanted to see Felicity directly rather than looking at her in the reflection. She was standing somewhere behind him, her arms wrapped around her body tightly. Sara and Nyssa were standing beside her, comforting her with their arms wrapped around her. If the shocked expression on her face was any indication, she had been here long enough.
Their gazes met, and Oliver felt his stomach drop in response. For three long years, they had both lived in misery. They hated each other, blaming the other for the misery they had lived in. No matter how much they had loved each other, their hate and disappointment had outweighed everything else.
Oliver had loved Felicity like he had never loved anyone else. For the first time in his life, he had been able to see himself settling down and having a family of his own. He had been ready to throw caution into the wind and go all in. He had never done that before.
“Let me go,” Oliver said, his voice hoarse, “let me go now.”
Instead of letting go, John and Robert tightened their grip on Oliver though. They probably assumed that he would lunge himself right back at Adrian, and Oliver had to admit that that suggestion wasn’t that far off the table. His rage was still there, just beneath the surface.
He wouldn’t attack him once more though. Adrian wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth for Oliver to show his darkest, rawest and cruelest sides to Felicity. He had shown her enough of the bad person he could be already. He shouldn’t make it even worse by beating Adrian to death right in front of her eyes. With the rage inside of him, he was sure that he was physically able to do so if he didn’t restrain from it.
“I need to get out of here,” Oliver said, “or I will kill him.”
John and Robert faltered. Oliver couldn’t see it, but he could feel his dad and John exchanging a long look. They probably still doubted him.
Eventually, they let go though. Oliver’s eyes met Adrian’s, and for the break of a second he thought about punching him once more. No matter how many times his fists had met Adrian’s face, it still didn’t feel like it was enough. It would never be enough.
Oliver could feel Felicity’s eyes on the back of his neck though. He knew he couldn’t punch Adrian once more when she was watching him. As much as he wanted to, he just couldn’t do it. Felicity has always brought out the best of him, so she couldn’t show her his worst.
So all Oliver did was taking in a deep breath, turn away and leave. He had to get out of here. He couldn’t have anyone around him. He needed time to process what had happened and- whatever.
With Felicity’s words, he just needed some air.
* * *
Oliver looked like he was either going to murder someone or commit suicide. He looked ready to attack and about to admit defeat at the same time. His muscles were tense, but his head her was lowered.
As soon as Oliver was out of sight, Felicity turned her head towards Adrian. His face had taken quite some hits. Blood was coming from his split lip and the bruise over his eyebrow. The skin around his red eye until down to his cheek was already beginning to swell. By tomorrow, it would shine in all colors of the rainbow. Still, Adrian was smiling about his triumph.
The cat was out of the bag now, but he had succeeded with his plan nonetheless. He had showed Oliver what it was like to lose someone he loved, and he had probably rubbed it in just by showing up where Oliver was every once in a while. He had certainly put him through quite some heartbreak. That Oliver had lost control of himself like that tonight was probably just the sweet cherry on top.
Noticing that she was trembling from how shaken she was, Felicity wrapped her arms around herself even more tightly. Her heart was racing, pounding against her ribs that felt like they were pressing down to keep it in check. It took away the room her lungs would need to take in a breath, causing them to ache with the need for oxygen.
Back in the garden, when Oliver had told her what had happened three years ago, she had thought that there was an easy explanation for that. She had believed that it had all been an unfortunate series of events that had made things look so different from what they had been.
The more she thought about it, the more she had wondered about Adrian’s role in this entire story. He hadn’t told her that Oliver had stopped by that night. Even if Oliver had just knocked at the door, seen Adrian and disappeared again, Adrian should have felt obligated to tell her.
Eventually, Felicity had decided to come here and confront Adrian, but he and Oliver had already been in a loud conversation that had caught everyone’s attention.
There was a deadly silence in the room. The small group of people that had been invited to the rehearsal dinner seemed unsure what to do. Everyone was frozen in place from the awkwardness of the situation. Some people were whispering with each other as quietly as possible, others just stared at their feet.
Nyssa, who had her arms still wrapped around her tightly, squeezed Felicity once more before she took a couple of steps away. She stepped right in front of Adrian, who looked at her with an arrogant expression on his face.
“You,” she said with her voice full of anger and pointed at Adrian, “are going to leave now, and you better not show your face tomorrow or ever again for that matter, or a swollen face is going to be the least of your problems.”
“What, you don’t want me at your wedding anymore?”
Adrian laughed out loudly, and Felicity honestly wondered if Adrian was crazy. He looked like he had lost his mind. He was unrecognizable, nothing like the man Felicity had thought was her friend.
“Mr. Diggle,” Robert said, “please kick him out.”
John didn’t have to be asked twice. He stepped forward and grabbed Adrian from Tommy. He didn’t even try to be gentle. Instead, he just dragged him outside. Adrian didn’t really go easily, but he had no chance against John.
Felicity felt her throat starting to burn. She managed to take in a breath, but the air only got into her lungs stutteringly. Tears were prickling in her eyes.
It all still felt incredibly unreal. She had heard Adrian saying everything he had done to drive a wedge between her and Oliver. She had heard him admitting that he had done so to hurt Oliver. He had purposefully spread lies to hurt him, and he had hurt her with that. She had been collateral damage, nothing more.
“Okay,” Moira finally found her voice and clapped into her hands, “I apologize for this… incident, but let’s not let that ruin the evening. I think we can all need some aperitif now. Raisa.”
Raisa quickly nodded her head and hurried into the kitchen. Meanwhile, Moira gestured for the musicians to continue playing. She shot Robert and Thea meaningful glances, and they hurried to start some conversations.
Just like that, the world seemed to move on for everyone. Only Felicity’s world felt like it was still standing still.
“Hey,” Sara said gently, putting her hands to Felicity’s shoulders and turning her around to her, “Are you okay?”
Sara looked at Felicity intensely, trying to get an honest answer from Felicity. She was barely able to hold her friend’s gaze, feeling uncomfortable at the thought of having to find out how exactly she was feeling. Felicity wasn’t sure if she wouldn’t break down if she let all her feelings in right now.
“No,” she said, shaking her head, “I’m not okay.”
How could she possibly be okay after this?
Sara was about to pull Felicity into her arms, probably intending to comfort her, but Felicity couldn’t have that right now. She wasn’t ready. Taking a step back, she lifted her hands in front of herself in a deprecating gesture and shook her head.
“I can’t do that right now,” she said, her voice sounding choked, “I’m sorry. I just-I need-I can’t stay here tonight. I swear I will be the best maid-of-honor tomorrow, but I need to go.”
Sara nodded her head, not even hesitating. “Of course. Call me if you need anything. I’ll drop everything here and be right by your side.”
Felicity shook her head and pulled Sara into a tight hug, whispering into her ear, “You enjoy this night and think about nothing but this dream you are living. Only a couple more hours to the wedding. Enjoy every second of it.”
Sara wrapped her arms around Felicity tightly, holding her just as close as Felicity was holding her. They stayed like that for a long moment until Felicity let go, turned around and walked away. She felt like she was on the verge of crying, but she didn’t want to cry, at least not in front of everyone here.
Holding her breath in a weak attempt to hold back the tears that tried to fight their way to the surface, Felicity hurried to the front door. Although her ankle was hurting like hell, she ignored that. Limping would only make it take longer for her to get away from here, and, god, she really needed to get away from here.
Too overwhelmed by everything that had happened today or these last days really, she didn’t look where she was going and promptly ran into John.
“I’m sorry.” She intended to just push past him, but a glance towards the door and the thought who could be right behind it, made her stop and turn back to him once more. “Where is Adrian?”
“I sat him into a cab and told my security staff not to let him inside ever again.”
Felicity nodded her head. The Queen’s only hired the best of the best, especially when it came to security. Oliver had told her that Thea had almost been abducted once. A trio of petty criminals had tried to abduct her from the playgroup she had gone through once a week, planning to press money from the family. Since that day, every member of the Queen Family was accompanied by security staff wherever they went, at least if they didn’t manage to get rid of them.
Adrian would never come here again. Maybe, at least if he was smart, he would leave the city. The Queens were quite influential after all, and he could easily make sure that Adrian’s career would get stuck and his reputation in the city was ruined. It wouldn’t be an honorable thing to do, but sometimes it was best to fight fire with fire.
Oliver would certainly be grateful if Adrian left Starling City.
“Do you know where Oliver is?”
The questions fell from her lips before Felicity even knew exactly what she was going to do with the answer. Was she just going to nod her head and go home? Was she going to talk to him? Was she going to look for him?
“When I got outside, he was just leaving the property on his motorcycle. I guess he needs to clear his head, and a little high speed ride is probably going to do the job best.”
Felicity nodded her head slowly. There were three things that helped to clear Oliver’s head – designing, sports and a ride on his motorcycle.
“Do you need a ride home?”
Felicity shot John a confused glance before she remembered that she had taken a cab to come to the mansion. She didn’t have a car here and she probably wasn’t fit to walk anyway.
“No, I can call myself a cab and-“
“I will tell Rob to drive you.”
With that, John stepped outside and waved for one of the black limousines that were parked on the forecourt. The young man behind the steering wheel let the window down and perked up his eyebrows at John.
“Ms. Smoak needs a ride to her hotel. If she needs any stops on the way there, all her wishes are your command.”
Rob nodded his head. “Of course, Sir.”
Felicity knew that it would probably be the most polite thing to say that she didn’t need the ride. She could indeed just call a cab. She didn’t have the energy to put an unnecessary fight though.
When John opened the door to the backseats of the car, Felicity stepped closer to the car. Before she got in, she put her hands to John and smiled at him. She doubted that it reached his eyes, but she was sure that he got the gesture behind it nonetheless.
“Thank you, John.”
“If you need anything, just call me.”
Felicity nodded her head, although she doubted that she would call anyone tonight. She was going to hide under her blanket and cry her eyes out, so she would hopefully be okay for the wedding tomorrow. Nothing was allowed to overshadow that.
“Night.”
“Goodnight, Felicity.”
Felicity sank into the soft leather of the backseats. While John closed the door for her, Felicity put on the seatbelt. When the car started rolling, she leaned her head against the cold window pane and closed her eyes.
It all made so much sense. Now that those missing pieces had fallen into place, she had no idea how she hadn’t known that there was something fishy in their break-up before. She had always considered it unfinished because it had been.
Another sigh fell from Felicity’s lips, and she squeezed her eyes shut firmly. She tried to blend out the world around her, trying to forget about everything for just a second, so she could catch her breath. Her thoughts wouldn’t stop spinning though.
Now she got why Oliver had been so angry with her all the time. Until now, she hadn’t got why he could be so sweet and so aroused by her in one minute and then so angry with her the next. She hadn’t understood why he would be angry with her at all. She had thought that she had been the one who had been left, and then she had thought that it had all just been a misunderstanding. This entire time Oliver had believed that she had slept with Adrian.
What Adrian had done to them was unforgivable. No matter what motives he had had, they didn’t excuse his behavior. All the pain his actions had caused just couldn’t be excused with a past heartbreak. At least to Felicity, they couldn’t.
Frowning, Felicity wondered what Oliver was thinking about all of this. He had certainly looked like hell when he had attacked Adrian, and he had looked just as terrible when he had left. Knowing that Adrian blamed him for what he had done to them, Felicity wouldn’t be surprised if Oliver adapted that thought. Oliver was always quick to think the worst of him and blame himself for things that weren’t his fault.
“I’m sorry,” Felicity said, leaning forward towards Rob a little bit, “but could you please stop at OJQ?”
“There is going to be nobody there,” Rob said, “the company’s headquarters closes at eight and-“
“I need to stop by the atelier,” Felicity said, “please.”
Rob didn’t need to be asked twice. John’s order had been clear. He was supposed to take her wherever Felicity wanted to go.
The drive to OJQ didn’t take long. When Felicity had asked to be taken there, it had been closer than the hotel. It took barely three minutes before the limousine stopped in front of the atelier where Felicity wasn’t surprised to find light. She had known that Oliver would end up here sooner or later.
Felicity wanted to send Rob away because she could easily call a cab once she was done here. She already knew that he wouldn’t disobey John, so she knew she could spare the breath.
“I’ll be right back.”
That was all she said before she got out of the car and closed the door behind her. A cool gust of wind hit her, and Felicity wrapped her coat around her even more firmly. With quick steps, she crossed the distance towards the atelier and stepped in.
As soon as her foot had crossed the doorstep, she could hear the loud noises from the back of the building. The curtains, that separated Oliver’s working area from the rest of the spacious atelier, moved back and forth from the movements behind them. If Felicity was asked to make a guess, she’d say that Oliver was leaving out his anger at everything in his reach right now.
Pressing her lips together, Felicity considered turning around on her heels and leaving Oliver alone. Maybe he wanted to be alone. She’d understand if he needed time alone. She’d even understand if she was the last person he wanted to see right now. Still, she had to check if he was okay. He might not be ready to face her, but she had to see him.
Felicity crossed the distance towards the working area. Pushing the curtain aside, she stepped in and stopped dead in her tracks. Her breath got stuck in her throat, and her heart started racing at what she saw.
The atelier looked like hell. Scattered pieces of wood were lying around, looking like parts of a chair or something. Several mannequins had suffered the same fate. The pieces of fabrics that were always lying around wherever Oliver worked were mixing with what looked like ripped clothes and torn paper.
In the middle of the mess, Oliver was standing, his face screwed up in anger as he continued to beat the hell out of everything in his reach. His shirt as well as his face were covered with sweat, proving how much force he had to be using. The knuckles of his hands were already bloody.
There was something incredibly sad about what view she was met with. It looked like Oliver had destroyed everything he could just like Adrian had destroyed the bliss of a life they had been living three years ago. He wasn’t able to punch Adrian again and again, so he was punching whatever else was there.
“Oliver,” Felicity whispered, her voice weak, “stop it.”
She didn’t know if Oliver didn’t hear her, or if he was just too caught in his rage. Either way, he didn’t stop. He just tore apart a dress that looked a lot like it was embroidered in long hours of painful handiwork, threw what was left of it to the floor and flipped the massive wooden table that was the center of his workspace. It crashed to the floor with a loud noise.
Felicity’s heart jumped up into her throat. She flinched almost violently, making the muscles in her back twist. She was sure that she could still feel it tomorrow or next week for that matter.
“Oliver!”
She yelled his name from the top of her lungs, but still he didn’t show any reaction. He went right at the table, starting to punch it again and again. If his bruised knuckles hurt, he didn’t let that stop him. He just continued to hit the table again and again, making the wood splinter.
Felicity felt incredibly helpless as she watched him like that. She could see that he felt helpless too. He was at his own rage’s mercy, unable to control it. She had never seen Oliver or anyone else for that matter like that.
Determined not to let him hurt himself any longer, Felicity stepped towards Oliver. She hesitated for a moment before she grabbed his wrists and turned him around to her. Her gaze met his, and it took a lot from her to not let go of him. Instead, she tightened her hold on his wrists.
Their eyes were locked on each other’s. Their gazes were intense, both of them unable to hide how disturbed they were after everything that had happened tonight. They were shaken, angry and hurt. Knowing that they both felt the same only multiplied the way they were feeling by a hundred at least.
What Adrian had done to Oliver, he had done to both of them. They had both been the victims of his intrigues. They had both suffered badly from his actions.
Something in the expression of Oliver’s eyes changed. It grew even darker, and he hurried to take some steps back. He looked like he was barely holding onto a thread of self-control. In his eyes, Felicity could see his fear. If he was going to let that tiny thread, he was scared of what he was going to do.
“I-“
Felicity felt her voice break and stopped. She took in a deep breath and cleared her throat. If she wanted to calm Oliver down, she should get a hold of herself. Otherwise, this wasn’t going to work. They would only infect each other with how messed up they were feeling, making it worse instead of making it better.
Oliver went over to the only real wall of his workspace. He put his flat hands to the wall, leaning all his weight against it and letting his head dangle between his shoulders. He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head again and again. It didn’t seem to help him though, so he leaned his head against the wall, probably trying to cool it.
“I just wanted to check how you are doing.”
She would have almost told him that she had wanted to check if he was alright, but she already knew the answer to that. There was no way that he was alright. Every cell of his body seemed to scream that he was anything but alright.
Oliver didn’t answer. He stayed where he was with his forehead against the wall and his eyes screwed shut. His face didn’t do anything to hide in how much pain he still was.
“Oliver.”
Felicity whispered his name, wanting him to answer or to at least look at her. She wanted any kind of reaction from him. She got a reaction, and it almost made her flinch.
Oliver turned around to her with a quick movement. His eyes were directed at hers, almost piercing right through her. Felicity felt her breath getting caught in her throat. Although she wasn’t scared that Oliver would hurt her, she had trouble to stop herself from taking a step back when Oliver suddenly approached her.
He reached out his hands for her face. Felicity expected his grip to be firm. She thought his hands would hold her face between them with so much force that she would feel like her head was about to crack at the touch.
Instead, Oliver’s hands were incredibly gentle. They came to rest against her cheeks, holding her carefully like he was afraid of breaking her. He was holding her like she was his greatest treasure, something he didn’t want to lose or even hurt at all cost.
His eyes were locked on hers, the expression in them so intense that Felicity felt her heart going out. Everything inside of her started aching. Her heart was beating irregularly, stuttering in her chest.
“Do you have any idea how much I have hated you for the past three years?” Oliver asked, his voice so hoarse that it was barely recognizable, but his right hand stroked down her cheeks gently like he wanted to soothe the hardness of his words. “I hated you so much that I-“
His voice broke, turning into a sob that Oliver was barely able to muffle. He took in a sniffling breath, lowering his eyes for a moment. When he lifted his gaze eventually, tears were welling in his eyes.
“All this time, I hated you;” he told her, his voice lowered to a whisper, “for nothing. I hated you for absolutely nothing.”
Felicity could feel the pain in his words, and they hurt her just as much as they certainly hurt him. For three years, she had hated him too, maybe not as much as Oliver had hated her, but still. Her anger had tried to eat her alive for most of the past three years.
“I have seen a life with you.” Oliver’s voice a lot gentle now although it was still hoarse. “Three years back, there was nothing I wanted more than you or us. I mean I had a plan. I wanted to buy a puppy for us to raise together. I wanted to propose to you.”
Felicity’s heart skipped a beat or twice at his words. She had known that Oliver had been very serious about their relationship. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been so hurt that she had considered moving to Gotham City. She hadn’t known that he had thought that far ahead. Getting married was quite the thing and so was a puppy, at least for Oliver.
For the break of a second, an almost broken smile showed on Oliver’s face. The corners of his lips twitched slightly. An expression of utter love spread in his eyes. He almost looked like her Oliver, the Oliver she had fallen in love with again and again for the two years they had been together.
Before Felicity could give into the low tingling in her stomach, his facial expression hardened though. He looked angry again, and Felicity felt her body mirroring that anger.
“We could be married today,” Oliver told her, “but instead I spent the last three years hating you. I thought that you just forgot all about us the moment things got a little rough. I thought that I didn’t mean as much to you as you meant to me. I hated you for it. With every cell in my body, I hated you, and it was all because of my actions and-“
Again, Oliver’s voice broke. He lowered his head, staring at their feet. His hands continued stroking over her face. His fingertips were calloused, but his touch was so very gentle.
Holding her breath, Felicity waited for Oliver to do anything. She waited for him to continue speaking or to look her in the eyes again. He didn’t do either of that though. Instead, he took several steps back, still not looking at her. With his gaze locked onto the floor, he shook his head again and again and again.
“I can’t do this right now,” Oliver whispered, his voice defeated. “Can you go? Please?”
Felicity didn’t want to leave him like this. She didn’t want to be alone with the image of him beating everything to crap in here either. She was sure that it would haunt her now. If she turned away from Oliver, she would see him completely out of control again. She wouldn’t be able to close her eyes without seeing him taking everything apart.
After everything that had happened today, Felicity just didn’t have the energy to put up a fight. She couldn’t tell Oliver that she didn’t want to leave him alone like that or that she herself didn’t want to be alone tonight. All she could do was nod along to whatever he said he wanted. It might be weak, but she couldn’t help it.
“Goodnight, Oliver.”
Not turning away yet, Felicity watched Oliver for a moment longer. He stood in the middle of the mess he had made, his hands pushed deep into the pockets of his pants and his shoulders hunched. He looked as lost as Felicity felt.
Since she couldn’t do anything to help him or even help herself, she turned around and left. Everything was broken, and maybe they were just too broken to fix it.
* * *
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As the school year begins, Felicity and Oliver must learn how to adjust to sharing a lunch all by themselves while the rest of their group is together the period afterwards.
Chapter after the cut.
“What classes do you have this year?” Sara asked Felicity two weeks later as they walked down the hallway of the high school.
“Advanced Chemistry with Lab afterwards. Computer Science 310 --”
“Isn’t that a senior class?” Sara interrupted.
“Yeah.” Felicity shrugged. “Next is lunch. I finish the day with Calculus, Gym, U.S. History and English.”
Sara got excited. “I have English last period, too. Who do you have?”
“McMurphy,” Felicity told her as she glanced down at her class list.
“Yay! We’re in the same class. That’ll be fun.” Sara took a look at her own sheet. “But I don’t have lunch until fifth period. That sucks. I’ll be right after you.”
“Hey, girls.” Tommy threw his arms around their shoulders as he joined them. “How’s my harem?”
“Whatever.” Sara shook him off. “What lunch period do you have?”
“Fifth.”
Sara clapped. “Great. We have lunch together again.”
“What about you?” Tommy asked Felicity, pushing his way between the two girls since Felicity hadn’t shrugged him off.
“Fourth.” Felicity tried not to sound disappointed but now that she knew both of her friends shared the same lunch without her, she was. Looked like she’d be sitting alone this year since even Michael had lunch sixth period.
“Same as Ollie,” Tommy remarked. “And let me tell you, Laurel’s pissed because she’s fifth like Sara and I. She can’t manage to switch her classes so they can have lunch together. The first time since fourth grade.” Tommy nudged Felicity. “Guess you’ll have to keep him company.”
“I’m sure now that he’s a senior, he’ll have someone else to sit with,” Felicity told him. “What with Laurel not being there, I’m sure every girl in the lunchroom will be trying to get his attention.”
“While that is true, Ollie could not care any less. But I’ll talk to him and tell him that at least you share the same lunch period.”
Felicity pulled Tommy to a stop and grabbed his arm. Hard. “Don’t you dare.”
“Why not?” Sara asked. “It’s the perfect solution. You can keep the girls from hanging all over him and he can keep you company.” Sara studied Felicity. She saw it from the corner of her eye while she still stared down Tommy. “Are you still mad at him because of last year? I mean I can’t blame you if you are.”
“Just promise me you won’t tell him, Tommy,” Felicity pleaded. She couldn’t deal with the embarrassment in thinking that Oliver would sit with her out of pity.
Tommy’s eyes searched hers but he eventually nodded. “Okay. I won’t.” He ruffled her long brown hair. “Be good, kiddo. I gotta run. Literally. I have gym.”
“I have to go, too,” Sara told her after Tommy took off. “I have History on the third floor. If I don’t catch up with you, I’ll see you eighth period.”
“Okay.” Felicity watched her friend leave and hugged her notebook close. “Okay. Sophomore year here I come.”
Felicity headed down the long hallway to where her science class was located. Mentally she crossed her fingers that this school year would go a lot better than the last one ended.
OQFSOQFSOQFS
“You see Sara?” Tommy huffed as he and Oliver sat doing sit ups in gym class.
“Not yet. You?” Oliver asked from next to him.
“Ran into her… and Felicity… on my way… to class,” Tommy told him in spurts as he exhaled.
Oliver stopped his own sit ups and stared at his friend, earning him a glare from the gym teacher. Laying down and starting again, Oliver asked the first question that came to mind. “When do they have lunch this year?”
“Sara, Laurel and I share fifth.”
“And Felicity?” Oliver tried to sound casual, or at least as casual as Tommy. It was then that Oliver noticed that his friend sped up on his exercise while trying to avoid the question. “Tommy, when does Felicity have lunch?”
“Don’t know,” Tommy said too quickly for Oliver’s liking.
“Even out of breath, I can tell you’re lying.” Oliver shot his best friend an evil glare out of the side of his eye.
Tommy somehow managed to shrug. “She told me not to tell you.”
Why not? What the hell? Oliver thought he had cleared the air between him and Felicity at the beach party. But then she did have her mom answer the door and tell him Felicity couldn’t come when he and Thea showed up to take her to the mall. Ms. Smoak, Donna, had assured him that Felicity was fine, just a little sick and couldn’t go. Oliver had wondered the whole afternoon if it had been a stall tactic to avoid him. Now, he really wanted to know if Felicity was avoiding him. “So, she’s in fourth, then?”
“You didn’t hear it from me,” Tommy said with a wink.
“Right.” Felicity was avoiding him then. Damn it, he thought he had cleared the air with her, apparently he had to work harder.
“She’s afraid that you won’t want to really sit with her. That it would be a pity action because you’re friends,” Tommy explained.
“That’s stupid. And coming from Felicity that says a lot.”
The gym teacher stood over them tossing down some towels. “Five laps around and then grab a shower.”
Olive rose and held out a hand to help Tommy up. Once they were both on their feet, they wrapped the towels around their necks and began a light jog around the gym.
“She’s afraid that you’d prefer to spend your time with any number of girls who’ll throw themselves at you the second they realize Laurel isn’t there to hold them back,” Tommy said as they completed their first lap.
“I’d rather sit with Felicity,” Oliver admitted. Sad part was it was also honest. Felicity intrigued him more than half the girls at their entire school. She never lacked for conversation once you got her talking. And it was stuff that fascinated him, even if he might not be into it himself. Or maybe it was just Felicity’s way of talking that made the conversations so addictive.
“I’m beginning to wonder about your fascination with our young friend.”
“She’s not that much older than Thea. She’s in a high school environment. I’m just looking out for her. Same as I would for Thea.”
Tommy’s head turned toward him, his head cocked. “First of all, Thea is your sister. Felicity isn’t. Second, Felicity is only four years younger than us, while Thea is ten. That’s a big difference. And lastly, you haven’t been looking at Felicity lately like you would Thea.”
“I don’t look at her at all.” Oliver glared at his best friend. “And why would I? I could have any girl I want. Pretty much any woman as well. And Felicity is a little girl.”
“She’s not so little anymore,” Tommy said. “Don’t know if you noticed but she’s developing.” When Oliver growled and his eyes burned into Tommy, his friend held up his hands in defense. “Michael sure as hell noticed. I happened to hear him talking to Chuck at the party.”
“I’m going to kill that kid.” Oliver off the top of his head pictured at least five different ways to do it.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d swear that sounded a touch jealous just then. Possessive,” Tommy teased. Oliver wasn’t having any of it. There was no teasing where Felicity was concerned.
Finished with the whole conversation, Oliver picked up the pace of his run and left Tommy behind. Quickly finishing his laps, Oliver slammed his way into the shower. Stripping, he turned on the taps. Cold water shot out and Oliver relished the feel on his overly heated skin. Oliver leaned against the wall and just let the water calm him.
“Hey, dude. If you’re going to jack off, do it in a stall,” some kid called out from the shower next to him.
“Fuck off,” Oliver told him, barely turning his head in the kid’s direction.
“You’re not my type,” the guy said with a smile and turned off the tap and grabbed a fresh towel from the nearby pile.
Tommy walked in and took the guy’s place. “So, you going to tell me what happened back there?”
“Guy’s a jerk.” Oliver nodded at the laughing kid who walked back toward the lockers. Straightening, Oliver stretched and ducked his head under the water.
“I wasn’t talking about him.” Tommy ran his hand through his hair getting rid of any sweat. “God, I hate gym first and last periods. The water’s always cold as fuck.”
“We’re not all lucky enough to have saunas in our personal bathrooms, Merlyn,” Mr. Clark, the gym teacher, said as he walked by and glowered at the two of them.
“I think he hates me,” Tommy bemoaned.
“No. He definitely hates you,” Oliver told him with a smile.
“It’s not my fault his wife was let go from Dad’s company.”
Oliver shook his head as he turned off the taps. “She wasn’t let go. She was fired. My dad told me about it.”
“Wanna tell me about it? Dad is, as usual, a little short on the details.” Tommy shut down his own shower and followed Oliver over to the towels. “Back to Felicity. What’s up with the two of you?”
Oliver wished he knew. Grabbing a towel, he began to wipe down. Finished, he wrapped it around his waist and headed for his locker. “You know, I think I’d rather tell you what happened to Mrs. Clark.”
“Nice avoidance tactic, buddy,” Tommy said with a grin. “But I will find out eventually.”
Oliver could only hope that he’d figure out what was going on first.
OQFSOQFSOQFS
Felicity edged around the cafeteria, her tray gripped tight in her hands. A large group of seniors gathered around one table and Felicity was pretty sure Oliver had to be in the middle of it. The fact that the group was eighty percent beautiful girls pretty much cemented that thought in her head.
Finding a small, empty table in the back that would only hold two people, Felicity set down her tray. This would be perfect. It was just big enough for her tray and her books. A great place to settle for the rest of the year.
“I didn’t think you would ever sit down.”
Felicity saw a tray slid onto the table across from hers and her eyes shot up the long, tanned arms of the interloper. Oliver. She should have known. Cross that. She did know. The second he spoke. “I thought you were sitting over there.”
Oliver glanced at the group that Felicity indicated over his shoulder and shrugged. “Why would I want to hang out with those jocks?”
“I don’t know,” Felicity told him. “Maybe, because over two-thirds of them are all gorgeous girls.”
“Two-thirds? Really? You can tell that just by looking at them?”
“Over two-thirds.” Why was she correcting him?
Oliver turned back to her and grabbed the milk on her tray. He opened it and plopped it back in front of her. “I guess I could hang out with them, but I’d rather sit with you. I wouldn’t have much to say over there.”
“Right! Because you don’t talk to girls.” Felicity rolled her eyes and fiddled with her food. “Maybe if I suggested you go over and pick one up so you could sleep with her you would have left.” Ignoring the anger that appeared in Oliver’s eyes, Felicity jerked her milk up to her lips. In the process, it spilled on her new blouse. Tears welled up in her eyes as she grabbed a napkin and tried to swipe it out of the fabric. This was the nicest shirt she ever owned and she couldn’t afford for it to be ruined.
“Let me help.” Oliver grabbed a napkin and licked it before he leaned across the table and pressed it to her collar where some of the milk must have landed without her knowledge.
“I can do it,” Felicity practically growled at him.
“Why are you being so catty? What did I do?”
“Nothing.”
Oliver groaned and sat back down, throwing the napkin on the table. “Great. What was it?”
Felicity stopped cleaning and met his eyes. “Nothing.”
“Which means in female terms means that I messed up.” Oliver cocked his head. “What did I do?”
“You want a reason?” She couldn’t believe he was actually still sitting there.
“Yes.” Oliver sat there studying her, his face intent. “I want an answer.”
“Because I didn’t want to eat with you.” It was the first answer she could come up with. It was plausible because she hadn’t really expected to have him sit with her anyway.
Oliver took in the table and the location that was separated from a large portion of the lunchroom. “Are you planning to be here with Michael?”
“No.” Why was that his first thought? She just wanted to be left alone.
“So, it’s me.”
“Yes.” Frack. She hadn’t meant to say that. She saw hurt invade his eyes. “No. I didn’t mean that.”
“Sounded like you did.” The two of them sat there, silence lay heavy between the two of them. Finally, he broke the tension, only to create more. “I apologized. I bought you some damn earrings. If I could change what happened, I would. But I can’t. Why can’t you get over that?”
“I have,” Felicity said in her loud voice, drawing the attention of the couple of tables that were nearby. She took a deep breath. “It isn’t that.” She reached across the table and laid a hand over Oliver’s but quickly pulled it back when a shot of electricity shot up her arm.
“You can’t even touch me,” he remarked. Oliver stood and grabbed his tray. “I’ll sit somewhere else and leave you alone.”
“I’m sorry,” Felicity apologized. “Sit.”
Oliver shake of his head had her closing her eyes to keep the tears back. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Please, sit,” she begged opening her eyes.
“Why? You don’t want me here.”
His words couldn’t be further from the truth. Felicity actually craved his attention. More than she should. One of the many reasons she hated puberty. “Please.”
“Fine.” Oliver sat back down but his back was stiff. Felicity could tell that he was beyond uncomfortable. “But, tomorrow I’ll sit somewhere else.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” A complete lie. She knew exactly what was wrong with her. Crushes sucked when you were well aware that the person you crushed on had no idea or would never be interested if they did.
“It’s okay,” Oliver said with understanding that she didn’t understand. “Laurel’s the same way at least once a month.” Felicity’s cheeks flamed but Oliver didn’t even notice as he picked up his burger and took a large bite.
“It’s not that. That was a couple of weeks ago.” Frack! Felicity clamped her hand over her mouth. Oliver’s eyes shot up from his tray to meet with hers. He stopped chewing and swallowed hard. Well, there was no hope that he happened to miss the comment.
“Is that why you couldn’t come with me and Thea?”
Sure, let’s talk about this, Oliver. Felicity inwardly shuddered. Because every pubescent teenager wished to talk about their menstrual cycle with their high school crush. “Yes.”
“Sorry.” Why did he really seem sorry? Gah!
“It’s not your fault. Not unless you happened to be the one to offer Eve the apple.”
“What?” He looked genuinely confused and Felicity bit back a smile.
“You know, the snake offered Eve the apple and she offered it to Adam.” At his still confused stare, Felicity waved the conversation away. “It doesn’t matter. Just forget it.”
“Are you and I seriously having a conversation about Adam and Eve at lunch?” Oliver couldn’t believe it. He did not need to think of Felicity in any context where she’d be naked. Not after Tommy brought the changes to Felicity to his attention. Oliver sat there silently berating his smaller head for reacting to the thoughts that were more than wrong. Felicity was barely a teenager. Oliver wished he wouldn’t look so stupid, because he seriously wanted to smack himself in the head.
Felicity’s cheeks seemed to have become a permanent shade of red. She tried to hide behind her long hair but she had to sweep it back to one side in order to eat. And in that moment, her food seemed like the most important thing in the world to her.
“How are classes?” Oliver asked. He figured a change of subject would be the best for the both of them. And the thought of studying always killed his libido quickly.
“Good. Laurel’s in my computer class.”
“She is?” Good. Laurel. That would definitely keep Oliver’s wayward thoughts in check. Thoughts that he couldn’t figure out why he was thinking. This was Felicity. Young Felicity. Smart Felicity. Not some girl to sleep with just to keep himself occupied.
Felicity nodded and shoved a couple of fries into her mouth. There were so many of them in there that she had to cover her mouth to even chew. It was kind of adorable. Damn it, he berated himself. Don’t start that again.
“Tommy’s having a back to school bash at the Merlyn Manor on Friday night,” Oliver told her. “You going?”
“He hasn’t invited me,” she mumbled around her food.
“I’m inviting you.”
Her eyes grew wide and she tried to swallow but it caught in her throat. She began to choke and Oliver jumped up to help. He was about to start pounding her on the back when she held up a hand to stop him and took a drink of milk. “I’m fine.”
“Uh-huh.” He had no argument for that. In the thin pink blouse she wore over a tank top and black jeans, he had no argument about how she looked. Though Oliver had a serious feeling the top was her mom’s idea. Felicity seemed to prefer a more edgy style and the blouse surprised him the second he saw her in it. More than that Oliver recognized the top. It had once been worn by his mother. She had thrown it in the thrift shop bin after only wearing it once because she claimed the pink was so bright that it washed her out. It did no such thing on Felicity. Actually, it complimented her coloring. Even when her cheeks burned with embarrassment. The way Felicity acted in it, he could tell it made her feel beautiful and grown up.
“I’ll ask my mom, but I’m sure she’ll probably tell me I can go. Especially if Tommy is holding it. She really likes him.” Felicity twisted a piece of her hair on her finger. “What’s everyone wearing?”
Oliver shrugged and settled back in his seat. “Casual, I guess,” he told her as he put a few of his fries on her tray.
“You don’t have to give me your fries.” Felicity lifted them back up and began to put them back but Oliver held her off. “I still haven’t finished my burger and the bell’s about to ring in five minutes. Eat them.”
“Thanks,” she said as she put one in her mouth.
“No problem. Does that mean that I might be able to join you every now and then for lunch?” Oliver nodded toward the group that Felicity noticed earlier. “You know when I need to escape.”
“I’m sorry.” She reached out to him and this time he grabbed her hand so she couldn’t pull away. “You can sit here anytime.”
“And if I do,” Oliver stared down at their joined hands for a moment before returning his attention to the girl in front of him, “will you be here too?”
When she nodded, Oliver felt relief course through him. Scooping up his burger, Oliver finished it in a couple of bites. He tried to pretend that her answer didn’t mean as much to him as it did. Her acknowledgement had made him feel like he had won some sort of battle. A battle he didn’t know he had been willing to fight until he noticed the consequence of loss.
For the rest of the afternoon, Oliver tried hard to figure out why it had meant so much for him to win. Felicity certainly wasn’t any sort of conquest. Definitely not someone to notch a hole in his bedpost for. If he was honest with himself, when it came to Felicity he’d throw out his whole damn bed. Oliver didn’t really want to dwell on why.
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