#Moonbin x reader

[ddoxhan]

all I wanna do

like a rain shower in midsummer, I need you cuz all I wanna do is be with you

word count : 5.3k words

genre : fluff revolving around two goofballs; scriptwriter! ningning x office worker! reader; experiencing a disastrous date won't stop you from planning the best date for the love of your life

t/w : none :)

a/n : a light-hearted, playful date with ms ning yizhuo! imagine her laughters throughout the entire thing and just seeing how happy she is being with you 🤍 I love this baby so much :') anyways enjoy !!

outfit? check. water bottles? check. portable fan? check. power bank? check. umbrella? check. snacks for your pretty girlfriend? check. after that disastrous date with yizhuo last time, you were traumatized hence the over-the-board preparation for today's date with her. you had planned a lot of events for the day, hoping that she would be surprised with how you made sure things were to go according to plan. her reactions are just the cutest and no one can tell you otherwise.

regardless of whether it was going to rain, or if you lose her in a crowd as her phone dies, or if she gets incredibly hungry that she's in the mood to murder you. yes, that was how the entire date went the last time when you two headed for a mini concert in the outskirts. just thinking about it again sent chills down your spine. never again, you thought.

as you take a step out of your apartment, that annoying ringtone informed you of who the caller was.

"yeah, babe?"

'on the way? or you just woke up and getting ready to throw on just anything?'

"missy, I'm slaying my fit of the year. and yes, I'm on my way. maybe in another thirty minutes?"

'okay, missy. sounds good to me, see you then babe!'

"love you."

'love you too!'

her voice got softer, as usual walking away from her phone to do her own things. she usually lets you end the call, either you'd end it while chuckling at her antics or listening a little longer to hear her humming a song that's on her 36th spotify playlist.

the sun was shining, the clouds were fluffy, and the bus just passed by the stop before heading for yours. was it more than enough time for you to make it? sure, but, that was if you ran for it. you were definitely not waiting for the next one that was going to be in the next 15 minutes.

the run wasn't too bad, giving you a chance to try out your new pair of sneakers. definitely not made for running, but they were sure looking amazing with your outfit. yizhuo had gotten them for you when you had finished that torturing physics paper one semester ago but you couldn't get yourself to wear them. she insisted that you wore it after she saw them in a new display box you got for it when she slept over after spending hours playing animal crossing with you.

'jagi, didn't I get those for you?'

'yep.'

'wear them when we go on a date next week.'

'but-'

'no buts.'

so that was how you were striding in these slides. they made you a little taller, which was the perfect height to pull yizhuo into a hug and rub your head on her hair. she hated those the most, but you love the scent of her vanilla shampoo, calming and soothing. as you stared out the bus window from your seat, your lips naturally curled into a smile as you reminisced those times when you and her took the bus home during your uni days.

when you had shared social law with her, you always took the bus with her after classes at the end of the day. you had known that she lived a little further from campus instead of the dorms and you happened to also take the same bus line as she did. acquaintances bloomed into friends, and you took your friendship with her to the next stage when you confessed that you saw her as more than a friend. you were the happiest girl alive when she said that she felt the same too.

when you had graduated with your psychology degree and her with her communication degree, that was when you found out that yizhuo had not lived three bus stops away from yours. and that was also when she had found out that you lived two bus stops before where she supposedly lived. in summary, you were two idiots thinking that you guys were so smart for trying to fool each other.

she did indeed live in the campus dorm, but just got down the stop where her friend lived at, in a way using her as an excuse to spend more time with you. you on the other hand, did similarly to spend more time with her by pretending that you got off at the next stop after hers. for four months straight, you had took a whole trip around the neighbourhood each time you had social law.

till this day, this was still something that you and her would bring up and laugh about at how stupid you two were. but you didn't complain, you were stupid in love with her.

a ring on yizhuo's doorbell was enough to make her frown from finishing her favourite shampoo to smiling as it indicated that her huggable human was by the door. when she swung the door open, she was surprised to find you with a bouquet of crocheted pink tulips and a puffy tote bag. first, you hated tote bags because you were afraid of forgetting them on your seat. second, what occasion was it for the flowers?

"hello, girlfriend."

"hello to you too. what's with the flowers?"

a toothy grin was all it took to convince that it wasn't a special occasion that she knew, but rather one that you wanted to celebrate because, you just wanted to.

"it's 520 days since we've started dating. so yeah, happy 520!"

"and here I thought that I had forgotten our anniversary or something."

"well, it's still something to celebrate about."

if yizhuo had her clumsy and quirky antics, you had your puppy-like and unpredictable antics. it wasn't once or twice that you had showed up to her front door with tulips or roses, be it real or fake, or crocheted. or that one time you had a spur in the moment and made her beef wellington for lunch. you didn't even like cooking that much.

'I saw this recipe and I thought you would like it a lot!' as she quotes from you.

but none of that can stop her from loving you more as each day went by. the good morning and good night texts were a must and meeting up at least once every day was the base, whether it be face-to-face or through facetime. as much as she could feel her fatigue from her day fade away when she saw that smile of yours, so did you when you heard that laughter of hers when you crack a joke.

"thank you, babe. I like it a lot."

she tiptoed to press a little peck on your cheek, which led to that big ass grin on your face and your tail would have wagged hard like a helicopter, if you had one. seeing your usual reaction, yizhuo went back to her room to proceed getting ready for the day. oh, did you mention that she looks amazing even when she had her hair up in a messy bun, and the most worn out, comfortable home clothes? yeah, now you know.

as you took your spot on the couch, it didn't take her longer than 20 minutes to be in the cutest outfit for your anticipated outing. the opening of her bedroom door prompted you to stand by the shoe rack and put your shoes on.

"ready?"

"mhm."

after you leaving her place, she naturally headed over to the bus stop while you stepped further from it, making her confused at the way you had a mischievous smile on your face. you walked over to her and dragged her along to the nearest car rental shop, rendering her further confusion.

leaving her at the entrance for a bit, you returned while twirling a shiny key with a far too recognizable logo printed on it,

"I knew we were going to the aquarium, but you didn't mention anything about driving there. when did you even have a driver's license?"

"well, surprise."

driving wasn't a practical option since you lived four bus stops away from your now alma mater. public transportation was a pain in the ass during before and after work peak hours but that was more worth than paying for the parking fee. that included having not told yizhuo about your driving capabilities.

your campus was practically in the middle of the city where most necessities were within public transportation reach. it didn't really matter if you had a car or not cause that was how convenient travelling for stuff was. if there was a need for a car, you would just ask minjeong for hers since she drives. even now, you could get to your job without a car, and you only head to office 3 days a week.

"and you rented a BMW?"

"yes?"

the look on her face darkened further as she couldn't comprehend your spending tendencies. you weren't a thrifty douchebag, so this was really a firsthand experience of you being willing to spend so much when there were cheaper options.

"please tell me you're joking. this could easily cost you half of your monthly salary for a day."

"okay okay, yes, I'm joking."

"thank god."

" but I did buy a kawasaki though."

yizhuo's jaw could not drop further as you said those seven words. she couldn't even form words, let alone sentences.

"wha- huh- you- eh?"

"come on, I got a second hand one so it's a lot cheaper. and it was a snatch with its low mileage."

the whole ride to the aquarium was just her bombarding you with questions on why you decided to get a motorcycle, when did you get your driver's license and a whole lot more. the entire ride there. though you weren't annoyed, you found it adorable that she wanted to know more. you being down bad was an understatement, you were just so in love with her that you don't see any chance of you getting back from being down bad.

you sure didn't need a second hand kawasaki to get to work considering the many reasons that would have stopped you from getting it. but there was one extremely big reason to get it that surpass every other. it was yizhuo. at the end of every day where you would drop by her place to spend time together, she would tell you about the things she encountered on the way home on the train, be it good or bad.

you were content with listening to how she would coo at the children and babies she saw, but grimaced at some things she would witness that you don't even want to reiterate. just then you thought, maybe you should get a vehicle to fetch yizhuo after work. as a scriptwriter, the expectation to get things done by her deadlines were brutal, from your nine-to-five job perspective. at times, she would finish past dinner hours and leave the broadcasting station with slumping shoulders while you waited for her at a nearby cafe to have dinner together after she clocks out. it always made a part of your heart ache a little when she drapes her body over you, with her basking in your scent.

she had always reassured you that she would feel her energy pick up when she spots you at your usual spot waiting. and even more so when she hugs you, as if you were her human energizer. but to imagine the days that you wouldn't be there, it was the right decision to get a vehicle for her to relax in after work on the way home. regardless of whether it was this nice BMW or the kawasaki you got, you get to accompany her back home while she talks about her day at the broadcasting station.

to head home together after a long day and lay in her arms on the couch while watching a movie was always your dream. usually her housemates would be around and it wasn't that comfortable to have the whole living room to yourselves. you would either leave after dropping her off or you would spend some time in her room for a while since she would reason that you have work the next day. one day, you would get a house together with her and make that dream a reality. one day.

"for me? this nice ass bike because you wanted me to get home safe?"

"yep."

she looked at you in disbelief, worried that the cost of this damn bike would put a hole in your wallet while you had a sheepish smile knowing exactly what she had in mind.

"I know it sounds crazy but trust me, I've planned this for a long time."

"how long?"

"roughly 5 years."

as yizhuo mentally counted, she figured that that was when you were still freshmen back in university. although she was flattered by the fact that you fell for her since then, she couldn't help but feel bad. and you knew she would from the way her smile fell a little, just enough for you to be able to tell.

"don't feel bad babe. I did say it's for you, but it's also for me, for us. it's a lot better than having to squeeze into the train and having body odour rubbed all over my face."

the joke managed to lift her mood as she giggles at the way she could relate too. well, you could say that this kawasaki was a dream motorcycle that you've had your eye on for some time now too. her hand reached over to yours on the gear stick, her eyes looking into yours, feeling that she was the luckiest girlfriend on earth.

"you're welcome, and let's go see those penguins, shall we?"

"welcome to underwater haven, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! I will be your guide today, so make sure to remember how I look like. you wouldn't wanna get lost and bump into the polar bear."

the crowd laughed at the humor of the male guide, before following to enter into the aquarium for the day.

in one hand, was your professional camera to capture the beauty of the animals (as well as your girlfriend), and yizhuo's hand intertwined with yours in the other. although she was more fond of furry animals in the petting zoos, she absolutely loved the way your eyes would sparkle when you tell her about your favourite aquatic animals that even she had managed to remember by now. you looked like an excited child jumping around and she just wants to give you all the kisses that you deserved for being so cute.

"oh! that's the angelfish. isn't it such a nice shade of pastel blue? and the way they just look so pretty."

"yes yes, very pretty."

and her gaze was just fixated on your smile that hasn't fell ever since you stepped foot in here. she couldn't give a damn about all these fishes that looked the same to her. all it did was make her crave for some good sushi, but she shall not talk about that while you're here. maybe in the next few days, she should bring it up. for now, she would enjoy this aquarium date.

"did you have fun?"

"mhm. did you? weren't you bored a little halfway?"

"I mean yeah but when I look over to you, wow best day ever."

you shot yizhuo a glare before relaxing when you knew that she had eyes only for you.

"I love you too."

that sheepish smile on her face made you chuckle at the way you found it cute, realization for the nth time that you would never be able to win against her. be it her random rendezvous at odd hours or cheeky remarks like this.

"so where would lunch be, ms. 'I have a BMW now so we can go anywhere we want'?"

she's just not gonna let you breathe huh?

"well, it is a thursday today. so you know what that means."

"the bazaar!"

the first time she found out about the bazaar, she had always gone there either alone since her friend had clashing schedules or would resort to the cafeteria food which she disliked a little. after knowing you through social law, she deciced to persuade you to accompany her there.

'you mean be your chaperone?'

'I wouldn't put it that way, think of it that you're there as my food mate.'

it was a weekly food bazaar that happened at the city square, filled with all kinds of food from all around the world. yizhuo was always down to try anything that was edible, while you were just there to be with her as you didn't fancy trying new things.

'come on! try this, the vendor said it's glutinous rice cooked in a bamboo tube.'

'it looks questionable.'

but to be honest, it did taste good. while she had a habit of ordering a variety to try, she wouldn't hesitate to share it with her friends, encouraging them to head to the bazaar to try out too. when you looked back and thought about it, she was also helping out the local businesses that had a hard time. she tried to deny, giving you the reason that they had better food that whatever the cafeteria served. however, you would notice each time you stood by her while she talked to the vendors. the way her eyes fold into crescents, truly grateful that they were doing great.

as you spent more time with her throughout your days, you harbored feelings for her and they just grew out of control when you would malfunction from being around her. you were there once as an acquaintance, now you were back there again, as her girlfriend. wow, thinking about it made you feel overwhelmed.

"are you sure we're able to finish this?"

"if we can't, we could bring it over for minjeong."

"I'm pretty sure she would be too full from lunch with jimin. you know how those two are."

"well, I guess this is all for us!"

just watching yizhuo enjoy the food in front of her made you feel as if you had ate. if your girlfriend was happily full, then so were you. at some point, the vendors didn't change often, and they soon became permanent at the bazaar, being able to find a crowd of customers for themselves. you didn't remember how it happened, but when yizhuo would always recommend it to the people around her, you knew who it was because of.

"what? is there anything on my face?"

your gentle gaze had her rub the sides of her mouth, then her cheeks. full of food while she mumbles, it was just a sight too adorable. you succeeded at holding back your urge to squeeze her cheeks, or you would end up with a flick on your forehead.

"nothing, you just look really pretty."

"thank you, but I can't tell if you're being sarcastic cause I am stuffing my face full of food right now."

"nothing beats a happy girlfriend who loves her food. and it's cute."

extending a hand over to clear that sauce stain on the corner of her mouth, you looked so lovesick, it almost made the people at the table on the right gag. what did single people do to be punished like this?

you would only cut it out with the lovey dovey eyes when yizhuo made sure that you were eating enough unlike when you were in your final year. that final year research paper had you lose 5kg throughout the journey and you wish to not experience that ever again. sleep was an option and so was food. if it wasn't for her threatening to have your meals properly or she would not see you again, you would have probably fainted at least twice that year.

so now, you have a wonderful girlfriend and a stomach full of good food. the day was going spectacularly smooth without any problems. but you spoke too soon when the sun had set and night had came.

after the bazaar lunch, you were to drive to a restaurant by the beach that yizhuo had really wanted to try but didn't insist on going as it was far. since you had rented a car, it was only right to bring her there. before night would fall, it would have been perfect to enjoy the sunset by the time you would have arrived considering the journey.

that was until the car started to smoke on the front all of a sudden. pulling over to the side of the road, you had to call for help from the nearest car repair shop to send a tow truck. you weren't going to risk driving there despite it being a short distance, not with her in the car.

as the tow truck arrived along with another car, you thanked the foreman for offering to drive you two to your destination when he couldn't get you a spare car. nevertheless, you managed to reach just in time to sit by the beach to admire the sunset with yizhuo. that was before it got windy and droplets of rain turned into a downpour.

"why is it always like this whenever we decide to go out for dates?"

she was feeling a little down from the mishaps from the car to the downpour. to be frank, you were too, since you had hoped that the date ended perfectly since she had looked forward to it a lot. although she didn't verbally express her excitement, you could tell from the way she had already put together an outfit for the day a week before and marked the date on her calendar with a big red circle and hearts around it.

"babe, things happen. plus it was my fault that I didn't check the car properly before today."

"it's not your fault, like you said things happen. just why on our dates..."

you were half soaked from the rain even with an umbrella. as you sought shelter at nearby shop, yizhuo wasn't soaked as much because you had wrapped yourself over her to make sure she didn't. that also made her a little more upset as she was scared you would get sick because of her. on the brighter side, you were at a vintage shop where they had quite a collection of film cameras. you had to take the opportunity to get one from here before you left. but first, back to making your girlfriend feel better.

"hey hey, babe. look at me."

you placed your hands on her cheeks and made her face you, squishing them a little. around her colleagues, she was competent and very professional when dealing with the producers and directors at her workplace. but when she comes home and relaxes around you, she would turn into a small little kitten that needed her favourite human pillow. just like how you had her pouting and leaning into your hands.

"things don't have to always go as planned. it's best if it did, but now that it didn't. we're here at this vintage shop and it looks like there's a lot of stuff to explore around here."

"sure we missed the sunset for a little, but we stumbled upon this place."

and with that, your girlfriend was back to her normal self.

"okay, but promise me you're not going to get too many things. nothing else is going to fit that glass case."

"yes, ma'am."

giving her a tiny salute and a cheeky smile, it was another mission success of making the best out of a (sorta) ruined date.

"I did mention not to get too many things, but you did get something that was very expensive."

"but it does take really good film pictures. plus, a good camera to fit the most beautiful model in the world."

yizhuo scoffed at the compliment but couldn't help but blush a little. thankfully, the downpour had come to a stop, only a small drizzle remained.

as you headed towards the restaurant that you had made reservation for, you couldn't help but feel super lucky at that moment as the sky was still lit and the ambience of the waves hitting the shore, as well as the drizzle adding its touch. along with the beautiful sight of her while her hair is blown by the wind, that gorgeous smile making you fall for her all over again.

arriving there, you were brought to your reserved table before ordering whatever she wanted on the menu. the wait wasn't too long, which was good as it was quite eventful before this meal. as you indulged in the local delicacies, you couldn't help asking yizhuo if she was in for some alcohol. and knowing her, she wouldn't pass on the offer.

you only drank a little as you would still need to drive back, as the foreman had mentioned that it wouldn't take till the next day to fix the car. just as you wrapped up your fulfilling meal, your phone rang, indicating the caller to be the foreman.

"yes, mr. lee. is the car done?"

"I'm very sorry miss, but I've called to inform you that we've come across another problem from the engine as we looked into it earlier. we would need another day for it as we are closing soon."

"ohh... umm... alright then. we'll look around for somewhere to stay for the time being. thank you very much."

hearing how you would need to look for somewhere to stay and seeing that apologetic smile plastered on your lips, yizhuo just knew that the plans for the day had changed for third time.

"we need to look for a motel?"

"hey! you don't need to put it that way."

the ends of your ears started burning a little as you hid your face in your hands, trying to lower the rising temperature of your cheeks. her word choice had caught you very off guard while she remained calm.

"it is what it is. plus, we could get separate rooms so why so shy?"

she was definitely having a great time teasing you.

you managed to find a decent place after asking the locals. but being there on the weekends only meant that there was no such things as vacancy. however, you still decided to shoot your shot, praying for two rooms.

"we've got only one room left, with a single bed."

and you definitely didn't expect that shot to miss entirely. it was better than no rooms at all, and it meant using the same room as yizhuo. you had to repeat that to yourself several times to fully register what you had heard. number 1, you had not slept over at her place before as you didn't want her housemates to feel uncomfortable with your unfamiliar presence. number 2, it would only be you and her in a room. nothing would probably happen, given that you would be sleeping on the couch.

"where are you going?"

"to sleep...?"

drying your hair with the provided towel, you glanced over to your girlfriend who already dried her hair and changed into a set of pajamas that you had got from a nearby shop. you were in a similar one with a different color, reminding you too much of what married couples would usually where in dramas. 'enough!', you thought.

as much as you wanted to wake the next morning in your arms, you held yourself back as it might make her uneasy. what if she's not used to sharing the bed with someone? what if she thinks it would be hot? what if you snore? what if―

before you could complete all the possible scenarios from overthinking, yizhuo stretched out her arms, telling you to hug her. and so you did. as you fell for her temptation, she pulled you in closer to make you fall onto the bed. as she leaned over to place her lips on yours, your brain short-circuited with too many things happening at once. pulling away, all she saw was a shocked puppy speechless and thoughtless.

"you good?"

"huh?"

"were you going to sleep on the couch?"

"yeah..."

it was as if you lost your ability to speak because all you could do was nod or give short answers to her questions. well, you were being considerate for your girlfriend in case she didn't want to share the bed with you and you were more than willing to let her have the bed for herself. after all, the bed wasn't the biggest and it was just fitting for two people, no more, no less. but she didn't mind at all.

"why when we could just sleep together?"

you hit her a few times for her choice of words and she just wondered what she said so wrong. 'sleep together', technically you were going to sleep together but not sleep together. there was a difference, but you were just being overly sensitive from the way that your body was in close proximity with yizhuo.

it wasn't like you didn't cuddle with her before in the living room while watching dramas and movies. it wasn't like you didn't hug her every single time you would leave by the end of the day. it wasn't like she wasn't already clingy and always finding an excuse to stick right next to you, be it be holding hands or just pulling you into a bear hug. but why was this time so different just because it was on a bed?

"you could take this as practice before we get married in the future."

right, that was why it made you so fidgety and anxious like a teenage girl who was in love with her first love. true enough, she was your first love, if you were to minus out the short fling back in high school that wasn't even a relationship nor situationship.

your relationship had not even turned 2 years old and yizhuo already had confidence in that you would marry her when the time comes. and she was darn right that you would. that day just sealed the deal where you definitely couldn't see yourself spending the rest of your life with someone else other than her.

the way she would enjoy your rants about sea animals that she couldn't care less, the way she reminds you about spending too much, the way she held your hand throughout the whole date.

although she wasn't interested in the many species of fishes that you knew, she didn't complain about it and just enjoyed how you were ecstatic about them. she would nag you a little about getting too many vintage cameras when you wouldn't even use some of them, but she knew that every single one you've bought had at least taken one picture of her. she knew that physical affection wasn't your way of expression where gift giving and words of affirmation was, she made sure that you felt hers.

just like this very moment, you could feel it through the way her gaze bores into your eyes, letting you know that she loved you as much as you did for her, if not more.

"okay, if you say so, wifey."

"oh? already agreeing to the proposal?"

"no way, I will be the one proposing to you in the best way possible when that day comes."

"but does that mean you want to marry me?"

yizhuo was glad to see how you snapped out of your trance with the playful banter between you and her. not only that, your string of thoughts had brought you to a conclusion that sounded like the best one to your life story.

"yes, ms. ning yizhuo. I would love to marry you."

"cause all I wanna do is be with you."

[gomapda]

sidewalks we crossed [side B: him.] (pt. 1)

this is broken into parts because tumblr has a limit of 1000 blocks.

side A found here!

author's note:

oh goodness. it's been a while.

i really did intend on posting this soon after i published the first part, but then life kind of got in the way. i graduated from grad school, moved to south korea, and have been here since. i'm still a carat, and i really do think about this fanfiction all the time, mainly because this story is truly me bearing my soul to the internet and my friends who have access to the original google doc.

this one is a lot less edited and looked over, but it's because this portion of the fic reminds me of something i'm still in deep grief for. so, for those of you who will read this, i was originally going to have a third installment, but i think i'll leave it at this two. it feels good and true to leave it here.

this was supposed to be published yesterday on seventeen's anni, but i was busy spending time with my korean host family who i've not been able to see that often since moving out :')

maybe i'll write short stories including these two because they are so special to me, but this main story has come to a close. the real final push was jihoon releasing "what kind of future?" officially, the very song that inspired this fic, in honor of his beautiful friend and human, moonbin. bin-ah, i hope you're sailing among the stars and looking over all of those who love you and who you love in return.

and to you, who may be reading this, thank you for being here.

✧⋆°｡☾☼꙳ ੭ * ‧ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ‧ ⨯ ς(>‿<.). ⁺ ✦ * . ˚ ⨯ ੭ * ‧☼☽⋆｡°✧

tagging @fiantomartell since you asked me to whenever i published this. it's been a long while, but.

pairing: lee jihoon/woozi (seventeen) x f!reader

genre: romance, fluff

summary: an accidental like, an off-chance comment, a purposeful message. you were in an unrequited love with your childhood best friend and decided to run away from him and your feelings and years later you find yourself in the same city with the same feelings when he stalks your instagram.

rating: 13+

length: 30k (bro WHAT LOL)

tags: idol!jihoon, childhood friend!reader, unrequited love (but not really), reconnection through instagram, this is just different scenes pieced together (including a ton of flashbacks), reader’s nicknames are all bug-themed, reader has depression and it manifests as suicidal ideation sometimes, this is basically real life (aka seventeen exists and debuted 150526), but the years are a little bit off for the trainee period, jihoon left busan later and trained for shorter for the sake of my story hehe, cursing, pining, mamamoo + ateez are the besties of reader, member x member pairings, jihoon and reader are both dumbasses, reader is extremely book smart but has one brain cell when it comes to romantic feelings, jihoon writes music like he’s been divorced 12x, word genius lee jihoon, idk how doctoral degrees work, i only got my masters and it was a non-thesis track lol, also idk how trainee auditions work either, miss communication is a lady we all know too well, super cute soft shit too tho tbh, no beta we die like men, i spent 5 hours trying to format this for tumblr and i’m still unsure

inspired by “drivers license” by olivia rodrigo and “what kind of future?” by woozi

inspo spotify playlist found here!

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side b: him.

The rapid beating in his chest drowned out the slam of the door behind him as he rushed down the stairs of your home, desperate to just get away as soon as possible. Your parents weren’t home, so he didn’t have to worry about looking like an absolute fool in front of them.

You knew. You fucking knew.

You knew how much he was in love with you and this was your way of rejecting him.

He was stupid, so stupid. If he just put his feelings aside then you wouldn’t leave. You wouldn’t have to leave. But this was all his stupid hormones and brain chemistry and his fucking heart. He knew that it wouldn’t pan out. You never saw him as anything more than just a dear friend, a brother. You made that clear.

Since the beginning, your pinkies intertwined promised a forever, but you both had different ideas of what that was. And he was stupid to believe there was a chance.

He ran.

He ran so far and so hard that he couldn’t make sense of left or right or forward or backward. All he knew was that he needed to get away from you.

But he couldn’t.

He passed by Old Man Park’s home with a winding tree you were convinced held fae people that would only come out when the entire town was asleep (there was a 50km radius, you said).

He ran by the rusted bars of the playground you two snuck off to instead of going to cram school where you attempted a flip and promptly landed on the crown of your head, wood chips tangling themselves into your hair, tears mixed with laughter and pain streaming down your cheeks.

The library where you would spend more time in the children’s section than anywhere else because you would practice your ‘reading voice’ for your future children’s bedtime stories.

The baseball field where the realization that he was in love with you hit him harder than any fastball pitch ever could.

You were everywhere.

And he needed to get away.

He went to your house to share the news of passing the trainee audition, that was the whole purpose of seeing you.

However, that wasn’t the only thing he planned on confessing.

If you asked him to stay, he would have.

But instead, you rejected him before he even got one word out.

So, he packed his bags up for Seoul, a place untarnished by you. A city that not even your light could reach, no matter how radiant you were.

──────────────────

Years later.

“Jihoon-ah, aren’t you working too hard?”

He glanced up at Jeonghan who was probably let into the studio by Bumzu. Jihoon glanced at the clock to notice a bright 4:02am glaring back at him. “Ah, hyung. I didn’t even notice the time.”

“I figured. I brought you some food.”

Jihoon glanced down at the two bags in his hands. His eyes narrowed. “Hyung, I don’t eat as much as you think I do.”

“I’ve seen you eat three full meals in one sitting. Get away from your desk and we can eat.”

Jihoon sighed before he reluctantly left the seat he hardly moved from for over seven hours. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” Jeonghan replied happily, snapping the wooden chopsticks into two. He started chewing on one of the danmuji, the sound of its crunch reverberating in the studio. “Oh. And also, the wi-fi’s down at the dorm, so.”

“So, you’re here to steal my bandwidth.”

“I brought you food. I paid my toll.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes. “Alright, sure.”

“So, are you in the composing stage or the writing lyrics stage?”

“...Lyrics.”

“Hm. What are you writing about? Or rather, who are you writing about?”

Jihoon stabbed the grilled fish. “...You know who.”

“She’s really got a grip on you, huh.”

Jihoon grunted in response. Obviously.

Jeonghan continued, “I saw that one of the local newsletters interviewed the group home that she volunteers at. She was voted as volunteer of the year. Again. She smiles with her entire body. Seems like a good person.”

The younger of the two picked away at the fish, not bringing it onto his makeshift plate. “Yeah.”

“Do you still stalk her on Instagram?”

Jihoon let out a loud sigh.

“That’s a yes, then.”

“You know it’s not as bad as it used to be. I used to check, like, every few weeks, but now it’s gone down to just a couple times a year.”

“She hasn’t blocked you yet?”

“Hah. I don’t think she even knows that my account is reactivated.”

“Well, you never needed to reactivate before. Her Instagram used to be public. The rest of the members and I used to scroll through wondering how a bright girl like her could be associated with such a deadpan guy like you.”

“Wow. Thanks, hyung.”

Jeonghan merely brushed off Jihoon’s sarcasm, already used to it. “She only made it private this last year, right? Since she complains about her program being out to kill her on her story. To be honest, I’m surprised she didn’t realize you’ve been watching her stories.”

“I don’t think she checks who watches her story since she has over a few thousand followers.”

“She attracts people, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, she always has.”

“Can I see her profile again?”

“You’re not going to do something weird, right?”

“Ey, Jihoon-ah.”

“That makes me really not want to.”

“Ey.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes before pulling out his phone. He opened Instagram and clicked on the “Search” feature and saw your profile appear at the top without even needing to type anything. He signaled for Jeonghan to scoot down the couch so he could sit down and handle the phone in his own hands. Jeonghan peered over his shoulder as he scrolled through your profile.

“Oh, is that Japan?”

“Yeah.”

Jihoon clicked on your post.

But it wasn’t opening.

So, he clicked again. And then again.

And his phone decided to catch up with his thumb’s movements.

The once white heart was now red.

His grip loosened on the device of betrayal and it clattered to the ground. “Oh shit.”

Jeonghan bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. He placed his hand on Jihoon’s shoulder and squeezed slightly. “I’m sorry, but. This is karma for not letting me see her profile on my own.”

“Hyung. Hyung. What should I do?”

“Just unlike it? I’m pretty sure that Instagram doesn’t send a notification as long as you unlike it before she sees it.”

“How do you know?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “Jihoon. It’s not the end of the world if she happens to see it. If she blocks you, then you know, and you end up writing another heartbreak masterpiece—” Jihoon couldn’t even appreciate the comment. “—but. Who knows what’ll happen?”

“...”

“Uh. I’ll just… do it for you, then.”

Jeonghan picked up the phone, facing the screen towards Jihoon, the camera scanning his frozen features to unlock and Jeonghan tapped the red heart to empty it again. He placed the phone back on the younger man’s thigh, but Jihoon remained in the same position as earlier, eyes glazed.

“Jihoon-ah.”

“Hyung.”

“Let’s just wait, yeah? The food’s getting cold. So, let’s finish eating.”

“...Okay.”

──────────────────

Jihoon picked at the rice bowl in front of him, his mind light years away, chest filled with concern for the future. Was auditioning for a company worth it? Even if he started the process now, wouldn’t it still take a while to even hear back?

“Jihoonie.”

His heart constricted once he heard the voice of the person who made him unsure. He caught you blinking owlishly at him. “Y/N.”

“Hrmm. You seem quite a bit down, my friend. You’ve barely touched your first bowl of rice. It’s concerning.”

“Just thinking.”

“Oh, don’t do that. We know that usually ends badly for people.”

“Well, someone between the two of us has to have brain cells.”

“I pride myself in simultaneously never thinking and also being the top student of our school.”

“You work miracles, Y/N.”

“Hey, now I know you’re down because you didn’t call me a flipping nerd. Your best moods are usually accompanied by your worst words.”

“You make me seem like an asshole. You slander me to other people, don’t you?”

“Of course. I can’t have them know just how utterly wonderful and fantastic you are. I’d rather you have that butthole reputation if I get to keep my best friend all to myself. I’m a selfish lady, you know.”

Did you even know how much your words affected him?

“You’re neither selfish nor a lady.”

“Oh, but I am. I’m a selfish lady who’s only checking on you because I refuse to be wrought with worry for the rest of the day. So, come on, Jihoonie. Let’s go play darts.”

“Last time we played you almost stabbed my hand.”

“Your fault for reaching for the board when I was about to own you. Come on. Let’s go. I’ll make a pinky promise with you.”

Jihoon snorted. “Of what?”

“I promise to do whatever you want if you win.”

Jihoon scrunched up his nose in response. You were always so naive with him, trusting him wholly. But a part of him was grateful that you did. He merely sighed and stood up.

He might as well use your promise to his advantage.

──────────────────

“She didn’t block me.”

“Oh, really?” Jeonghan glanced up at Jihoon who suddenly broke the silence.

“Who’s she?” Soonyoung’s ears perked up.

“You know. His firefly,” Jeonghan replied.

“What? Why would she block you?” Seungkwan directed his question at Jihoon, who was simply trying to edit lyrics in his own studio, which was being occupied by several SEVENTEEN members.

“Jihoon accidentally liked one of her posts last night, but we unliked it. Oh, sorry. I unliked it because he was completely frozen.”

“The notification probably didn’t go through,” Seungkwan supplied. “I’m pretty sure unliking a post makes the notification go away.”

Jihoon had set his phone aside earlier in hopes of not constantly checking it. His mind may be unsteady, but he was always self-disciplined.

Out of his peripheral vision, he saw Soonyoung glance down at his own phone screen that buzzed a second prior.

“Oh. Jihoon-ah, she liked one of your posts.”

Before his mind could even catch up, Jihoon flung himself to his phone, his self-discipline be damned. He frantically clicked on the notification and it redirected him to his Instagram page, where he saw your name among the list of likers. He wasn’t sure whether his heart was racing or whether it stopped completely because the buzzing in his ears overtook all of his other senses.

He even ignored the boys’ laughter around him.

“Is… Is social media actually facilitating real connection right now? Are we about to prove all of the ahjussi and ahjumma wrong? Are we about to witness history?”

“Seungkwan-ah.”

“Sorry, Jeonghan-hyung.”

“She… She didn’t block me. She saw me. What is this? What do I do? Do I just ignore it? Or should I let her know I saw it?”

Soonyoung snorted. “Yah, I’ve never seen Jihoon this nervous for any performance ever.”

“His heart’s probably racing more than it did the Golden Disc Awards.”

“WHAT DO I DO.”

“Jihoon-hyung,” Seungkwan started. “I think the first thing you need to do is breathe.”

So, he did. In. Out. In. Out.

After what seemed like years, Soonyoung spoke up. “So… Are you gonna message her?”

Jihoon sat in contemplation for a moment before he decidedly shook his head. “No. It’s time to write a song.”

Soonyoung’s eyebrows rose at that. “You’re gonna go back to work after all of this?”

Jihoon bit his lip. “No. This is gonna be a solo song.”

The corners of Jeonghan’s lips curled up at his dongsaeng. “I’m sure it’ll be beautiful.”

Jihoon nodded almost mindlessly.

Everything about her usually is.

──────────────────

“Jihoonie~ Wake up~”

He groaned loudly under the bed covers.

He heard you snicker, the only warning before you landed with a loud thump as he let out an “oof!” from beneath you.

“Get off me. You weigh like a million pounds.”

Rather than listening, you spread your limbs and trapped the adolescent boy beneath you, nuzzling further into the outer casing of his cocoon. “Nope. Just yesterday you yelled at me for not eating enough when you flung me off of the couch by accident because I stole the remote. So.”

“I’m suffocating. You’re killing your best friend.”

“Oh, but to die with a beautiful girl on top of you, isn’t that the way to go?”

There was a moment of silence where Jihoon contemplated catapulting your entire being off of his bed before, “Pretty sure that’s your dream, you damn pervert,” came his muffled reply.

“Huh. You might be right there.”

“Get! Off!”

His hand easily found your weak point between your first and second rib and you cried out as you toppled down onto his bedroom floor. He emerged from the confines of his sheets with hair sticking up every which way.

You grinned lazily up at his disheveled state and he glared right back at you. “Why are you in my bedroom?”

“Because your mom said to come and get you! We’re going to Muju today, remember? In time for the Firefly Festival!”

“Right. It’s your yearly family reunion.”

“Yes, I will become one with the bugs. My fursona will arise again. Or is it bugsona?”

“Is a buggy better than a furry?”

“You’re asking me to choose between two evils, my dear Jihoonie. Come on, get up. I’m excited to spend an entire weekend with our family.”

It was way too early for his mind to whirr as fast as it did at the simple implication of ‘our’. “Alright, firefly. Get out of my room so I can get ready.”

“Okay! I’ll go help Mama downstairs.”

You were committed to calling Jihoon’s mom as Mama instead of Eomma, as the latter held a tone for you that was nothing less than stressful.

Jihoon smiled at your joy, but stopped when he noticed you freeze in place. “...What?”

You shifted the weight in your feet before speaking. “Mm. Just had a thought. With a smile like yours, who would ever need the summertime?”

You grinned at him while his heart stopped. You always spoke without a care in the world; never carefully crafting your thoughts before speaking them aloud. You were spontaneous. Wild, even. Sometimes it ended with you in some kind of trouble, while other times, like this one, ended with him in trouble instead.

You scurried out of his room before he could respond.

He released a dragged out sigh as he felt his cheeks warm.

Forget summertime.

He wondered whether the earth could be sustained through all of the seasons at the sheer brilliance of your smile.

But he ought to thank the summertime.

Because it meant, every year, without fail, he would wake up to you, he would smell the breakfast you helped his mother cook, he would hop on a plane to travel to a different province and see the night sky alight with hundreds of fireflies, your face aglow with soft awe and wonder.

Yeah.

He needed the summertime.

──────────────────

“What? Jihoon-hyung is talking to the girl that just upped and left him and fled the country?”

“Chan-ah, your wording needs work,” Seungcheol chastised. The other members that were near enough to hear nodded, while others were distracted by their own activities.

Jihoon buried his face in his hands. “Eugh, I don’t even know anymore. It’s not like we’re actually talking; she just reliked one of my posts. It’s like, she went back and let me know that she saw me. But is that supposed to be a warning? Is it supposed to be a white flag?”

The youngest member of SEVENTEEN shrugged. “Hyung, I think that you’re putting a lot of meaning behind something that was just a small gesture.”

“Nah, Chan,” Seungcheol interjected. “Jihoon has been in love with this girl since he was a kid. This is more than just a small gesture, after what she did to him.”

Wonwoo spoke up. “Hey, don’t forget Jihoon was the one who left Busan first.”

The accused groaned.

“Wonwoo, you’re just biased towards her because you think that she and Jihoon would make a good couple and you believe in an ideal love.”

“Hyung, I just think that if Jihoon can write what he writes about her, there’s something there.”

“You romanticist.”

Wonwoo shrugged. “Jihoon-ah, I think you’ve tried to reach her with your words time and time again, but maybe it was never made clear that she was the one it was for. You mentioned that she really thought you were in love with your noona—” Jihoon grimaced at the memory. “—so, maybe she’s just unaware.”

“She can’t be that oblivious,” Soonyoung interrupted. Jihoon knew Soonyoung was almost fiercely protective over him because he was the one who witnessed Jihoon’s aftermath firsthand. Soonyoung may be over-the-top some days, but whenever Jihoon needed it, he would help ground him.

Wonwoo’s eyes flicked between the two of his fellow 96ers. “We were all kids once, Soonyoung. We were all so focused on ourselves we couldn’t really see what was happening around us.”

Soonyoung pursed his lips. “...I guess. Jihoon, what do you think?”

Jihoon stared at his hands. “Does it matter whether she knew back then or not?”

They all collectively raised a brow.

“Whattaya mean?” Seungcheol asked.

“I can make a ton of assumptions about her. That she was actually in love with me and was scared. That she was rejecting me in her own cruel, yet kind, way. That she had no idea and the timing was just completely off. But all of that, I don’t actually know. All I do know is that… I want to see her. And not just from afar anymore. But part of me also hates her. But all of me misses her. I don’t know. I guess I’m just too stupid to figure this out.”

A heavy silence passed over the group.

Soonyoung broke it. “If you’re stupid, then I’m the biggest idiot on this planet.”

“That’s not comforting, that’s just a fact.”

“Hoon, you wound me.”

──────────────────

Award shows were weird.

At first, everything was an out-of-body experience for him and could barely process what was happening. He even couldn’t believe that he and his twelve members managed to earn their matching pinky rings and the right to produce and perform, let alone be nominated for an award. When they went on the stage, they did their best to be as refreshing of idols as they could be.

But it was much more daunting than they were used to.

Their debut year went by, and although there were many nominations, they remained only that.

In middle school, he would often tell you that you had a strange fixation on being number one in your graduating class. He said that he didn’t get it, that being in the top 5 was already something that was admirable.

He would never forget the look you gave him when you said, “One day, you’ll know what it’s like. You’ll know what it’s like to almost have something and then not. It’s the kind of feeling that eats away at you, Jihoon. The feeling of, ‘But what if I did more?’”

He merely rolled his eyes and called you dramatic.

That is, until he experienced it firsthand.

The first time ever was when he was doing a music competition for clarinet and compared himself to his bandmate, who received several achievements while Jihoon found that he simply didn’t have the body to be able to hold the same lung capacity.

Then he felt it: that driving force.

You both pushed yourselves further, to higher heights.

And it ended with him sick and bedridden.

And you, heartbroken and unsure of life.

The two of you would reprimand each other for trying too hard, but even with accountability, that envy, that desire for an indisputable win, that fear of failure, would still sneak its way into you both. You, with your academics. Him, with his musical endeavors.

For several years after their debut, at award shows, Jihoon would clap, the rhythmic beating of his hands echoing that in his chest, his smile lined with bitterness, his ears rang with the whispered voices.

‘Those people didn’t deserve it. You worked so much harder. These people don’t even produce their own music. Or maybe it’s because they have real producers and composers, unlike you. Who are you to think you deserve that award?’

One night, after another show of no wins, he collapsed onto his bed, unlocking his phone, intent on watching an anime episode before falling asleep. His members were discouraged and no one wanted to discuss what more they could even do.

Even if they did everything right, maybe it still would never be good enough.

When he opened up the YouTube app on his phone, he saw a recommended video. Your name written out in English caught his eye and he realized it was Part II of a podcast you had done with the channel before. It was a Korean-American podcast and you would share your experiences in the Korean language, connecting with your culture despite being in a foreign country.

Before he could think about what he was doing, he clicked on it, hoping to find comfort in a person he always had, in someone he probably always would.

Several minutes in and he realized just how thick that red string must be between the two of you.

“You know, I thought I undid a lot of my perfectionism before coming to college. Korea is the birthplace of comparison and pressure, I’m sure of it. It was ingrained into me from childhood. So, I did what I could. I got out. Learned to broaden my horizons. But when you attend a school like Yale, your environment really just kinda forces you to be perfect just so that you can survive. Because if you’re not, then you’re cut.”

He thought back to his trainee days.

To his current days.

How similar.

“I remember being at an event where we were being presented awards for our achievements. I remember that I was in the running for one of them, and I won’t say which one so this doesn’t come back to bite me. But at this one event, I remember no other guests were invited, only the nominees and peers in the same field. And when they announced the winner, everyone applauded, of course. However, I won’t ever forget the sight that I saw.”

You chewed on your lips, gazing upward trying to find the right words to say, a habit you’ve had for years.

“The winner had the biggest grin on their face, proud of themselves, as they are allowed to be. But when they turned back to the crowd? I think they saw something. I think they saw that our smiles were forced, that we were judging them, judging ourselves, trying to determine whether they actually deserved the recognition or whether we should have been the ones to win. And… their smile faltered. It was quick, but it was noticeable. And I think the only reason why it even faltered was because it was only those of us who were nominated or could have been. Like, it’s easy to cheer on someone for a prize that you didn’t want, but as soon as you have stakes in the game? Well. That’s a whole different story. But when they lost that smile, it felt like something shattered.”

Your eyes welled up with tears, but they didn’t fall.

“They say it’s lonely at the top. I haven’t been there in a long time, but. I don’t even know if that’s where I want to be. These people have done super cool things, and who’s to say that I would’ve gotten the same results if I had tried? And maybe, maybe they have enough competitors. Maybe they need someone who celebrates them. Someone who knows the hardships of working in this field. And maybe that’s what I can do. I just want to do what I love and what I love doing is social work. Celebrating other people. Learning their stories. Not saving the world, but trying to make it into one that might be worth saving. If I happen to get recognized because of doing those things and they give some kind of trophy for it, then alright. But that’s just a byproduct of the greatest award I’ve already given myself, which is just letting myself do what I love.”

And those were words he carried with him as he went to bed that night. 

When they won their first award. Their first Bonsang. Their first Daesang.

Award shows were weird.

It was all about performance.

Performing on stage, prepped through sound-check, clean-cut choreography, and pre-recorded live vocals to grab the audience’s attention.

Performing when at their designated table, giving reactions at a timely rate for both the fancams and large screen cameras.

Performing when behind the stage, being the best hoobae or sunbae they needed to be, adapting to whatever situation they may be placed in.

He knew how to perform. He was good at it.

It was why he’s in this industry.

But there are some things that don’t warrant worrying about an audience.

As he watched the seven members of BTS walk towards the stage, reaching for their Daesang. He clapped to match the rhythm in his chest, sure and steady, at ease. His smile, genuine and wide. The voice in his head, not unlike yours mixed with his own, provided gentle comfort.

‘They deserved it. They worked hard, just like you did. Their ability to collaborate with other musicians is astounding. It would be an honor to work with them. And you, too, have won, you’ve given yourself the greatest award by continuing to do what you love.’

──────────────────

Jihoon once again found himself at the recording studio, however, at a more reasonable time. He was trying to finalize all of the details on the songs for their comeback album, so he was spending his days in the recording studio and ending it in the dance studio, fully exhausted to where he would only have enough energy to shower and trudge back to his bedroom, just to pass out on his bed.

He heard the door to his room open but didn’t make an effort to turn around.

“How’s the song coming along?”

“The album is nearly complete—”

“No, the solo one.”

Jihoon finally glanced up at Seungcheol who now stood beside him. “I haven’t had as much time to work on it. Why?”

“No, I just wanted to check in with you.”

“You’re a good leader, hyung,” he said quietly.

Seungcheol clicked his tongue. “Of course, I am. But I’m mostly just curious because you’ve never written a song about her specifically that only had you singing it.”

“…that’s not true.”

“What? Which one?”

“The first song I ever wrote.”

“Oh what? What was it?”

Jihoon shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. It’s an old song that I think only I remember anyway, plus, I only had vocals at the time. No instruments or anything.”

“…huh. What was it about?”

──────────────────

You wiped your snot away from your face, unable to differentiate between mucus and tears. Your unrelenting sobs weakened to light shudders.

His voice carried from above you, his hand entangled in your messy knots as he rubbed soothing circles against your temple. You curled yourself further into the tear-stained pillow he so lovingly dubbed, “Y/N’s Breakdown Headrest” which also doubled as “Y/N’s Punching Bag” when your emotions were forged from fire and not a dam that couldn’t hold anymore of the taunts and cruelty from your own parents.

His thigh was a mere hair’s breadth away from grazing the top of your head. He had a tendency to bounce his leg, one you continuously called him out on, but he wouldn’t ever stop his bad habit.

That is, unless you needed him to.

And he always gave you what you needed.

So, he sang to you a song of hopes and dreams and the magic of forever and always. Lyrics of never-ending friendship and pinky promises.

──────────────────

Jihoon paused, wondering how you comforted yourself now, wondering if you now had a Breakdown Headrest 2.0, before he spoke again. “It’s about what all the songs I write are about. Love. Although, more lowkey, not as direct.”

“Love and her are synonymous to you, aren’t they?”

“She’s the one who taught me most of it,” Jihoon said nonchalantly. “A truly honest and genuine form of it.”

“Wow, how romantic of you,” Seungcheol laughed.

Jihoon rolled his eyes. “I’m letting you know I only have the patience to tolerate all of you guys because of her. She believes it’s her divine mission to be as annoying as possible.”

“She sounds terrifying.”

“Yeah, she’s taught me how to be patient and remain calm. But she was also incredibly patient with me. Honestly, it feels like all the things that make me likable are all from her.”

Seungcheol made a “oOooOooOOOooOOooo~” noise before Jihoon got fed up and kicked him out. Of course, his reprieve was short lived as more and more members flocked into his room, a constant moving traffic of his twelve brothers.

He imagined you meeting them.

With Seungcheol, you would probably tease him relentlessly, trying to come up with new names for the S. Coups game, while also thanking him for being so protective and steadfast, praising him for his taste in emo music and asking him to sing My Chemical Romance with you.

With Jeonghan, you both would sneak off to devise plans on how to create chaotic dynamics in between the members and cause more infighting while eating stolen snacks or spend hours just sitting around, doing fuck all, because why not.

With Jisoo, you both would speak in English (with you affectionately calling him by his English name “Joshua!”), sharing music as well as probably arguing between Los Angeles and New York, since that was a common feud topic Jisoo brought up.

With Jun, you would try to get as many reactions out of him as possible or get him to write down the list of all of the authentic Chinese restaurants around Korea or you would sit with him at a piano and watch as he played OSTs to Chinese dramas, applauding all the while starry-eyed.

With Soonyoung, you both would either be each other’s soulmates or the banes of each others’ existence, both fiery and passionate; however, you were always good at matching the energies of those around you, so you would let him ebb and flow while you merely followed, likely to call him, “Hoshingi,” just as Jeonghan does, and you would probably love caring for him the same way you did with elementary school students.

With Wonwoo, you would watch him play his PC games, probably in awe of his prowess or you would discuss lyricism and poetry, both exchanging flowery words for no reason as you would try to pick his brain as to what really lies beneath the surface, whether he truly is as straightforward as he seems, and be intensely satisfied that he simply is as he is.

With Seokmin, likely to sweetly call him “DK~”, you would ask him to sing for you since you loved Broadway style voices, and since you both were so generous with your kindness, there would be no doubt that the two of you would somehow manage to start up a non-profit that manages to eradicate all the bad in the world.

With Mingyu, you would discuss filming and the latest movies to watch and you would ask him how he finds the motivation to do many different hobbies at once especially when busy with being an idol; you would probably try to trick him into listening to you tell ghost stories as if they happened to you.

With Minghao, you would share your favorite poets and philosophical ideas, sharing the life lessons that you two have learned and realized you managed to hack life’s code at a younger age than most, you both realized the real importance of being alive: contentment and love.

With Seungkwan, you would probably be laughing so hard at his wit that you wouldn’t have much time to breathe, you would try to figure out how exactly he managed to memorize so much information surrounding K-Pop and why exactly he was so passionate about it or if neither of those, you would ask him if he could get you the plug for those Jeju hallabong oranges.

With Hansol, you would call him “Vernonz,” since you loved names that began with the letters V and Z, and ask him about his parents once you found out they were both artists, and you two would definitely discuss the effects of late-stage capitalism and social media on humanity.

With Chan, you would do your best not to baby him, but you hold a lot of fondness for those younger than you, you would try to figure out how he is so particular about his attention to detail and whether it is something that is pressuring him (and if there was some way you could alleviate it).

He imagined you there, integrated into his life again. He imagined you showing authentic interest in every one of his precious members, unlike most interviewers they would be forced to interact with every comeback. You would learn all of their names, find out their favorite foods, the best way to make everyone collectively laugh, and ultimately, how to help all of them feel comfortable around you and inevitably love you.

And once they did, he could say that his most beloved people were finally all together.

He fell in love with you, but you’re the one who taught him how to walk into it with his eyes wide open. So, he did it with his members. It took practice, having to actively choose them. With you, it may have always been a choice, but it was as natural as breathing, even if there were times he felt like he was being suffocated (or wanted to suffocate you).

He remembered the first time he became aware of it. Most people talk about how love comes, there was always talk about rose-tinted glasses and how it softened the world around them, unable to forget the brilliant smile on their face, but no. You always shattered expectations.

From anyone else’s standards, his realization came at an inopportune time. But it was so clear. It wasn’t as though you had sparkles around you as you emitted a warm glow, it wasn’t as though your hair was perfectly touched up with no strand out of place, it wasn’t as though you were perfectly dolled-up with eyes lined and lips colored. No. It was just… you.

And that's when he knew.

Because there was no filter to block the sheer clarity he was hit with when he finally accepted he was in love with you.

──────────────────

When Jihoon saw your crying form, a slurry of words filled with concern and instructions were the only thing leaving his mouth as he packed his things up. He only deviated once he gave a quick farewell to his noona who left with her dad.

Jihoon bit his lip. Would you be okay? Maybe he’ll just rush home now and shower then call you later at night. Or maybe he should go prepare his bedroom if you decide to visit. Yes. He should do that.

Jihoon turned on his heel to make his way back home, his newfound mission resounding in his mind.

However, your cousin’s voice reached his ears, “Wait—Jihoon, I can give you a ride.”

He looked back at him, saw the way your shoulders still trembled, and shook his head firmly. His fist clenched, the baseball preventing his nails from biting into his palms. He spun it once. Twice. And up into the air.

“Here, firefly.”

You caught it by instinct.

Your gaze met his.

He felt his heart ache at the sheer brokenness apparent in your eyes, rimmed with red and puffed skin. He grit his teeth. He hasn’t seen you cry this hard since the day your parents told you that your number two class ranking was nothing to be proud of and that they expected more from you.

His jaw clenched so hard, he heard an audible bite.

“Why are you giving me this?”

Your voice sounded so soft, like a child. A visceral instinct within him wanting to lull you into a peaceful rest with a lullaby.

But he wouldn’t do that.

Because that would be embarrassing.

(That was a future Jihoon problem.)

“It’s your win today.”

He much preferred the look of confusion on your face to the look of agony you held just a few moments ago.

“Huh?”

He swallowed thickly, his brain unable to keep up with the words tumbling from his mouth. “Even when you feel like you’ve lost, even when you feel like you have nothing to gain, just the fact that you’re still here, that’s a win. So. Scream. Cry. You can do what you want. It’s your win.”

Your gaze trailed down to the baseball, too large to wrap your fingers around entirely. It was probably much denser than you thought it would be, the weight foreign in your hands, unlike his.

You sniffled.

A soft smile formed on your lips.

And Jihoon realized he preferred that look on your face than any other he’s seen.

Pretty.

He rapidly turned on his heel before he even gave a second to try and unpack that thought.

The weight of his baseball gear was really doing a number on his heart, he realized belatedly.

That night, he didn’t prepare his room. He didn’t even call you.

(Not that you reached out.)

He merely stared up at his ceiling, his heart in a constant flux of rapidly beating or stopping completely.

He groaned loudly as he played through the day’s earlier events, thinking himself stupid for giving you a fucking baseball. You don’t even like sports. Did he think he sounded cool when he said all of that cringey stuff?

It’s your win?

But despite the feeling of wanting to curl in on himself, he couldn’t help but still agree with his earlier self.

You did win his heart, after all.

(He threw his pillow at the wall.)

──────────────────

“You’ve been liking her posts more easily.”

Jihoon merely grunted as he tapped away at his computer, Soonyoung on the couch beside him. ���I decided to just… stop overthinking. Well, more like just stop thinking in general. I’m too tired to try and pretend I’m smarter than I actually am.”

Soonyoung raised an eyebrow. “You got it bad for her.”

Jihoon glared at him, who was scrolling through his (Jihoon’s) phone. “Be careful what you say. For the amount of songs that are about her, she covers basically 60% of your salary.”

Soonyoung laughed. “Guess I owe her a lot, huh? If she didn’t up and leave, you wouldn’t have come here and we would’ve never met. So, I guess I’m grateful to her. Plus. She’s cute.”

“She’s more than that.”

“Yeah. I can tell,” Soonyoung went quiet for a moment. “She… A part of me really doesn’t want to trust her. I keep remembering that day, you know. Where you just… didn’t seem like yourself. Barely there—” Jihoon cringed at the recalled memory. “—but she also just seems so genuine that it makes it hard. I want to be your bro, you know? Bro code and all—”

“I never asked you to do that.”

“—And I’m nothing if not a bro. But I don’t think you’re the type of person to be hung up on someone who’s not trustworthy. Like. You lose interest in people easily if you don’t see them on a regular basis. But her? It’s been years, bro.”

“Okay, bro.”

“Just letting you know I support you in your decisions,” Soonyoung stated, but there was an edge to his voice that sounded as though he was trying to convince himself more than Jihoon. “If she’s really who you say she is. If she’s the one who’s captured that stubborn heart of yours. Then I’ll do everything I can to help you out—Oh, she posted again. Wow. She posts often and yet still gets over a thousand likes. It hasn’t even been a day. Oh wow!”

Jihoon twitched but tried not to show his eagerness. “What?”

“They’re doing a donation drive for the group home that she works with. Ey, how can someone who does volunteer work to help kids and teens be a bad person? Jihoon, are you kidding me?”

“Young-ah, you’re the one who said it, not me—”

“So close-minded, Hoon.”

Jihoon rolled his computer chair over to Soonyoung, snatched his phone back, and smacked the annoying gnat’s hand in the process. Soonyoung yelped in pain, but laughed it off. He saw your post (noticed that Soonyoung ‘liked it for him’) and a figurative lightbulb lit up over his overworked head.

“This looks like something Bumzu-hyung would post on his story. Maybe I can ask him to share it. Oh, but this is her private page. Oh wait. She tagged the group home.”

“Thanks for the play-by-play.”

Jihoon ignored him and clicked the profile to see they had the exact same e-flyer post. But he knew that you’d probably notice there was an influx of donations (hardly anything got by you) and he didn’t want to bombard you with unsolicited help.

But it’s for a good cause!

But he might be trespassing on her territory.

Everyone cares about youth and kids!

This group home wouldn’t have even caught his eye had it not been for you.

He groaned inwardly. “I don’t know whether I should ask Bumzu to reshare or what—”

“Dude, just ask her if you can share it and then wait for her reply. It’s not like there’s only a one day donation thing.”

Jihoon blinked at Soonyoung. “You’re right.”

Soonyoung immediately sat up straighter, pulling out his own phone from his pocket. He opened up his voice memo app. “Say that again, I need to record that so I can set it as my ringtone.”

Soonyoung pressed the Record button, extended his phone receiver to Jihoon, who leaned in promptly and said:

“Fuck off, Kwon Soonyoung.”

──────────────────

“Kwon Soonyoung, what the hell are you doing?”

“What do you mean? It’s not like I planned this.”

Jihoon glared at the boy before him who was somehow wearing matching clothes again. He specifically came home after rehearsal to change into something different and yet, here he was, matching with this endless energy ball. Jihoon specifically changed out of his all-black garment to choose a long, plain blue button-down overshirt and ripped, dark jeans. Something different from his usual style of a t-shirt and shorts.

Yet, there Soonyoung was, in nearly the same outfit, minus the overshirt being a blue flannel.

“I think this just means that we’re soulmates, Jihoon-ah.”

Jihoon pulled back his fist as if to hit Soonyoung, but the latter didn’t flinch at all, only laughed at the expense of his friend. The other members were downstairs waiting for them so Jihoon didn’t have enough time to change out of the outfit. And it felt almost ridiculous to give this more attention than it deserves, as if he was losing by admitting that it bothered him to the point of needing to change clothes.

But Kwon Soonyoung, the man that he was, would not let him live it down.

“Wow, we look like a couple. We should go on dates, huh? Get some sushi or–ack!”

The shorter of the two pressed his foot against the back of the other’s knee and Soonyoung nearly came crashing down had it not been for his instincts to catch himself.

Jihoon huffed down the stairs, shaking his head at the situation and readying himself to be made fun of by his members. Once he got through that door, it was game over.

And he was right.

Seungkwan, Mingyu, and Dino were the ones who rallied the rest of the group to heckle, which only added insult to injury, as those three were the ones who had the longest rap sheet to make fun of. Jihoon kept his disgusted face on as Soonyoung wrapped his arms around his shoulders, announcing to (what seemed like) the world about how he’s ‘matching with his best friend.’

Jihoon came back with a slew of half-hearted insults at the rest of his members, but they unfortunately outnumbered him. He is rarely on the receiving end of this level of teasing, but he was dragged into it thanks to Soonyoung, who was eating it up.

Even in the midst of it all, Jihoon couldn’t help but feel thankful that he even had someone to accidentally match with who would wear it with such pride and not shy away from it. Sure, it might seem dumb and annoying, but it reminded him that he could have that kind of playful relationship with others outside of you. He had other friends in school or at baseball, sure, but none were as comfortable, as relentlessly fun. He thought there would never be another you.

And there never was, but that feeling of acceptance, of joy, of gratitude.

He was able to find it outside of you.

Which was a heartbreaking realization before, but now he only hopes you’ve done the same.

And mere hours after his own outfit debacle, Jihoon sees your instagram story to find you accidentally matching with Hyejin, her making the same face that he did not too long ago. But you had a shit-eating grin, no doubt proud of causing a disruption in your friend’s life.

Your caption read: “oh, you and your soulmate are tied by a single, red thread? that’s nothing compared to the matching threads we got on right now. eat your heart out, makoto shinkai.”

Beneath it in smaller letters: “if you can’t tell by her face, this was not planned at all, but man, am i really rolling with it.”

Jihoon snorted at the serendipity of it all.

Perhaps the string of fate really isn’t just a single thread.

──────────────────

It was a rare day in which Jihoon found himself at home.

Which meant he had a lot of time to think about you.

(You replied to him. He shouldn’t have been so surprised. But he was, pleasantly so. Of course, it included a thumbs up emoji which was the visual manifestation of the acquaintance zone, but he would take what he could get.)

Album preparations were underway, and although there is a part of him that feels as though he should be scrambling, especially as their anniversary date was literally tomorrow, he thought back to a voice from his youth.

Years ago, he laid in his childhood bed, struck with a nasty fever from pushing his immune system too far by attempting to balance school and various music competitions. There was a half-asleep you, exhausted by misplaced guilt, with your fingers intertwined with his, who said: Jihoonie, Koreans always say ‘fighting’. I told you that this morning, and I knew you weren’t feeling well. I could’ve stopped you. And now here you are. I said ‘fighting,’ but why? Why do we have to fight? Life isn’t a battle to win. You don’t have to overcome anything, okay? You can just lay here and be with me. Please don’t get sick again. Please remember to rest. Some days, it’s okay to just be.

So, here he was. Simply being.

Whenever massive events (like SEVENTEEN’s six year anniversary) happened, he made sure to spend the 24 hours prior doing nothing than just being, to gain enough energy to last the following day.

Otherwise, the nagging guilt would get to him.

You were always weaving stories with even the thinnest of threads. Your knack for adding dramatic flair, amping it up to eleven, was a nightmare sometimes. For example, when he got sick and you kept repeating that you should’ve said something instead of letting him go on stage only to nearly faint afterwards. You took on too much responsibility for things outside of your control, which only caused you to lose your grip on what you actually could.

His chest tightened at the thought of you losing your grip completely. There were very few things in life that terrified him, but you potentially ending yours was one that plagued him until he learned how to remain steady when you were feeling unsure, and even still, it tore him up inside. But he knew that it wasn’t his battle to face; he wasn’t meant to save you. You reminded him of that time and time again, so instead, he learned how to let you live the life you weren’t sure you wanted. He observed warily.

As a teenager, he knew just how bad these thoughts could get for people at that age. He knew how people fell prey to the lies that they were unworthy of life and love.

So, he simply tried to be as honest as possible. He would do his best to not invalidate your experience, but he refused to enable those insidious feelings. He would come off as abrasive, he was sure, but your ability to detect bullshit was like no other. Your parents had a big hand in that. So, instead, he was truthful in his own way, in his own language, one that you learned to understand.

A few years ago, you did a two-part YouTube podcast at Yale. The first one was released a couple of months prior to the second, and he’s sure at least one hundred of the views are from SEVENTEEN (not all him, his members also took away a lot from your words).

He listened to that podcast time and time again. He heard the life in your voice, the curiosity of the future outweighing the pain of the past. You said that life was, at first, a means to be with the people you loved. But you slowly came to believe that life was something that you would choose to love every single day, and so you did.

He hoped that you still did, but trusted that, if there were days that would come where you did not, you would reach out to someone to wait with you until the storm passed and you could choose to love again.

His chest filled with pride thinking about how far you’ve come.

But he couldn’t help but wish there were some things that remained from back then.

That glimmer of hope spurred him to become mindful of the object he was fiddling with in his hands. He held up a bracelet of years ago, hardly worn by time or by him. He wasn’t sure whether he was still allowed to. It was one-half of a pair, but if its partner no longer existed, then.

However, he never had the desire to throw it away.

The metal charms felt both foreign and at home in his hands as he fiddled with them, the faint clicking sound of the chain barely registering as his mind was in an entirely different place. His eyes focused once again on the charm of the sun caught between his fingers.

If only catching you was as simple, he mused.

Jihoon sighed and covered his eyes, desperately trying not to cringe at his internal monologue, habitually reaching for the Chopper plushie that you gifted him years ago, squeezing the body to diffuse the embarrassment he felt.

He remembered when he saw the charms at some random shop he heard about from others and thought you would enjoy, so he decided to scope it out in advance for the two of you. It was easy, on his way home after spending a few hours on his own to rehearse his clarinet, a regular occurrence.

Although there was no doubt the two of you gravitated towards each other, you both valued your independence and alone time.

──────────────────

“We’re giving us the chance to miss each other, Jihoonie.”

“Who said I’d ever miss you?”

“Well, gosh darn. Guess I’ll cover for you and miss you twice as much.”

“…You’re dumb.”

“Yes. Can I have some of your fries?”

──────────────────

He retaliated by taking the ketchup bottle and squeezing them all over the tray of fries and you immediately retracted, believing that fries should be dipped in its respective sauce (unless they were loaded fries, of course, which warranted using a utensil of sorts).

He chuckled to himself. Fifteen was one of the most turbulent years of his life, but there were plenty of moments (like fries drowning in ketchup) that reminded him it wasn’t all intense.

Your fifteenth year started off with that charm bracelet.

Two weeks before then, you were so moody that he nearly gave you your birthday gift earlier than he intended, just so he wouldn’t have to see you be so upset (for which, he has only a vague remembrance of what could have made you so upset). Of course, it might have been easier if he had simply brought up his concern and asked how you were, but he knew you would have brushed it off as nothing.

He paused.

Did he know that though?

Or did he just assume?

He clicked his tongue, annoyed at his own self-reflection.

Communication was easy in theory.

Application, however.

He often found it difficult, matching your pace.

You were always so quick.

Quick-witted. 

Quick to anger.

Quick to assume.

Quick to run away.

He heard a soft knock at his bedroom door (which meant it wasn’t Mingyu or Soonyoung) and he grunted in response. The door slowly opened (that ruled out Seungcheol and Chan) and revealed who decided to greet him in such a manner.

Ah, he was right.

“Woozingi~”

“Jeonghan-hyung.”

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

Jeonghan moved to sit at the edge of Jihoon’s bed, with his legs crossed. “The members are wanting to get dinner tonight altogether since we have a schedule tomorrow. The staff said they’ll pay since it’s our six years.”

This had Jihoon propping himself upright. “Barbecue?”

Jeonghan snickered. “Yeah, it’ll be good to get ready in a few hours. But I just wanted to stop by and tell you in person since I know you like to mute the group chat.”

“That’s because it’s constantly going off,” Jihoon grumbled.

“Yes, that happens when people are trying to have a conversation, Jihoon-ah. You should try it sometimes. Especially since it sounds like you have communication issues.”

Jihoon winced. “Hyung. Your timing is terrible.”

“No, it’s impeccable. Just not for you. Anyway, a word of advice.”

“Hm.”

“You don’t have to fear rejection anymore,” Jeonghan started, slowly, the words seeming almost foreign in his mouth. “Regardless of what happens with her, you have people in your life that care about you as you are. You don’t have to try and match her. I don’t want you to subconsciously fall back into a habit of appeasing her because you’re afraid of scaring her away again.”

Jihoon blinked slowly. “I wasn’t expecting actual advice, so I’m a little stunned right now.”

Jeonghan chuckled. “I’m gonna be honest. The other members told me to come talk to you because the rest are either too scared or don’t know what to say.”

“Hah, we’re back to our trainee days, huh?”

Jeonghan grinned, probably recalling the amount of times that he was the emotional support pillar of the boys before they each learned to open up to each other. “Speaking of, I remember when I first met you. You were a teen with a cold-hearted exterior and a lot of opinions as well as the weight of the world on your shoulders. You had the responsibility to carry the music of twelve other guys and you had just lost something that was precious to you. You threw yourself into your work and that became your identity.”

“I—”

“I know you’re not that way anymore, but I’m just reminding you that, no matter what happens with her, no matter how she may respond, you aren’t that cold teenager who had to bear the weight all on your own. You’ve grown and are surrounded by people who can help ease the load.” Jeonghan paused for a moment. “Also, if I could think of a member who laughs easily at anything, you are one of the first that comes to mind. So, it concerns me that you haven’t been laughing lately, even when Mingyu accidentally sneezed out his ramyeon noodles—“ Jihoon snorted at the memory from last night. “—and, if I can assume anything about her, I don’t think she’d be very honored to know that it’s because of her. So. Come back to us, Jihoon. If she’s really meant to be in your life, she can match your rhythm. Don’t leave us in the dust.”

“Is this a long-winded way of saying ‘bros before hoes’?”

Jeonghan burst into laughter. “Maybe so!”

──────────────────

“Our Jihoonie~”

The teenage boy grunted in response, shooting up a look at one of the older members. “Is there something that you need, hyung?”

“You speak so formally, it’s off-putting.”

“That’s because someone refuses to act his age.”

“What a tough Busan guy,” Jeonghan teased.

Jihoon’s face twitched.

“Bumzu-hyung is looking for you. Said he wanted to finish up some more lessons.”

“Agh. I knew he was going to have criticisms. I’m barely getting a grip on this music production stuff, so I don’t even know if what I’m making is good enough to sell. Everyone might hate it.”

“Even if everyone else hates your music, just know I’m one of your biggest fans.”

“...If my music is hated, then we won’t make any money, which means you’ll be poor. What? Is it your dream to become poor?”

Jihoon expected Jeonghan to laugh and tell him that he was right and that money mattered. But instead, Jeonghan replied, “Jihoon. Your music is good. And if we don’t make money because other people aren’t able to see it. Then what’s the point? You say that it’s your responsibility as to whether SEVENTEEN succeeds or not, but, we’re thirteen members. Three units. One team. We’re SEVENTEEN. Stop acting like it’s all about you. Maybe my dream used to be becoming rich. But now, it’s just doing this. With all of us.”

──────────────────

Jihoon stared at his hands, at the charm bracelet. “Is it selfish to want this life and her as well?”

“Maybe it is. But, so what if you’re selfish?”

“Isn’t being selfish supposed to be a bad thing?”

“Just hope that she’s as selfish as you are,” Jeonghan shrugged. “By wanting her in your life, does that mean you want to be with her romantically?”

Jihoon paused. “You know, I’m not sure. I think I would be over the moon if we could even just be a part of each other’s lives. To have that line of communication open. But as the people that we are now. I think I’d like to meet the new Y/N. She probably has more in common with the new Lee Jihoon than the old her anyway.”

“You two have grown apart, aren’t you worried?”

Jihoon went silent for a moment, trying to pick out the right words. “Rather than grown apart, it feels like we’ve simply grown in separate spaces, by taking different routes, but our lives seem too intertwined for our paths to never cross again. Plus, she’s one of the few people that I could really be myself around. It’d be nice to have another safe space like that outside of SEVENTEEN because who else can I complain about you all to, that wouldn’t cause conflict between us?”

“Ay. What is there to complain about?”

Jihoon gave his hyung a pointed look.

“Alright, alright,” Jeonghan started. “But be honest. Real talk. You really think she wouldn’t spread it to Dispatch?”

“She has always valued people’s stories more than anything, so it really annoyed her when other people would take out-of-context excerpts and twist them. So. That’s how I know she wouldn’t spread it. Also, if she was that kind of person, she would’ve done so by now. She has a ton of blackmail material on me.”

Jeonghan chuckled. “Interesting. You said she likes stories, so is she a writer like you?”

“Not in the traditional sense. She’s more of a speaker than a writer. In high school, of course, she had her awkward moments like everybody else did, but even then, she was a tier above the rest. I don’t know how to say this kindly, but she doesn’t really think before she talks, but she doesn’t usually have to because what comes out is almost always what she intended.”

“So, she must be eloquent then.”

Jihoon clicked his tongue. “Just because things come out as she intended doesn’t mean she wouldn’t intentionally be mean or annoying.”

──────────────────

“You like unnie, don’t you?”

Jihoon spluttered. Shit, shit, shit. He tried to gather his thoughts, but failed. He wasn’t good with spontaneous spoken words, that was always your realm of expertise. He needed time to think of the right thing to say, but you never waited for him. “F-Firefly, I—”

You barked out a laugh, and he nearly retaliated at the harshness. He wasn’t sure why exactly you were being so harsh. “Hey, it’s fine. I don’t blame you. She’s pretty high up there, above us mortals. From now on, I’ll do my best to help you out, yeah? That’s what best friends are for. Plus, you’re like family, like a brother to me, so.”

Jihoon sank back.

Family? Brother?

He wondered why that left a bitter taste in his mouth. But that didn’t make any sense. Wasn’t being called family the highest praise?

So why the hell did that piss him off?

Instead of speaking his actual thoughts, his mouth had a mind of its own. “I can handle myself, Y/N.”

You sneered at him.

God, you were so infuriating sometimes. 

She wasn’t like that.

She was the soothing waves of Busan, ebb and flow, constant and expected. She was everything you weren’t. She was older, more experienced, graceful, calm, soothing.

She was beautiful.

But she didn’t have that burning fire you did. Didn’t have him reacting the way you managed to every time you opened your damn mouth or rolled your eyes—there you went again!

What the hell was wrong with you?

Rapid escalation, raised voices. You, accusing him of not trusting your judgment and hiding his crush from you, saying that you wished he trusted you. Him, arguing that he didn’t need to share every little thing, that it wasn’t about his trust for you at all, and that God, he did! He did trust you! Of course, he did!

So, why didn’t he tell you about the stupid crush?

It wasn’t that deep, but you were convinced it was, and he was too tired to even try and correct you. So, sure, he could be “in love” with his noona, like you believed. Because then he wouldn’t have to untangle the mess in his chest. He could shove it under the rug like he always had, always would.

You slammed your fists down onto the table before you walked away from him, in a rampage. Like a damn wildfire trying to clear everything in sight.

You were a volatile thing, explosive, even.

But.

You fizzled out just as fast.

He awoke around midnight to the soft knocking at his window, your silhouette perched on the thickest branch the tree outside his childhood home had to offer. He had half a mind to not open the glass pane but he saw you shiver and his body leaped out of bed without a second thought.

“I’m sorry, Jihoonie,” you said, a few moments after you clambered into his room.

“Okay.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks for being friends with me anyway.”

“Sure.”

So, he wrapped your favorite blanket around you, the one he kept in his room for nights like this. Color slowly returned to your face and he saw the stains of tears on your cheek in the moonlight. You muttered words of apologies and told him about your day, not having the chance to earlier.

You were better like this, quiet, but not silent. Like a crackling fireplace beckoning all to come and listen, to be enveloped in warmth and light.

He never once called you his family.

But he’d be damned if you weren’t his home.

──────────────────

“Funny enough, despite the fact that she’s more of a speaker than a writer, even more than that, she’s a listener. She listens to more stories than she tells them. I think that’s helped with her pride. If she knew she messed up, she would always apologize, even if she hated doing it.”

“Well, that’s one lesson you haven’t learned from her yet.”

Jihoon pulled a face and Jeonghan laughed in response. The older of the two snatched away the Chopper on the opposite end and started throwing the doll up and down.

“Alright, lover boy. What I got from this conversation is that you’re still in love with her, but you gotta make sure she’s worthy of your love, alright? Heed my warning, don’t be afraid of being rejected by her. It’s already happened anyway, and here you are: world-star idol with twelve bros behind you no matter what.”

Jihoon cracked a smile. “You’re right. I got lucky.”

Jeonghan tossed Chopper back in his original vicinity. “I think Dokyeomie wanted to ask something from you too, but I don’t remember what it was, so maybe you can go get ready and he’ll come find you.”

“What a useless messenger.”

“Your luck can’t be perfect, Jihoon-ah,” Jeonghan quipped. He turned to leave the room but stopped in his tracks. “I hope to hear her story one day. Hear her side of things.”

“…Me too, hyung.”

──────────────────

“How much is the corn dog?”

“Hmm… Tell me your favorite color and how it makes you feel.”

Jihoon mustered as much displeasure as he could hold in his six-year-old body. “Y/N, you can’t pay with stories, that’s stupid.”

“It’s my shop!”

“Jihoon, we’re just playing pretend,” your cousin added, his eyes darting between the two of you, likely worried about needing to do damage control.

“Hyung, her idea is dumb!”

“Why!” You whined. “People pay with money all the time, but you can get money whenever! I don’t get to hear stories! I like stories! My parents don’t read to me every night like yours do, Jihoon!”

Jihoon stomped out of the playroom in annoyance, ears grated by the sound of your crying and your cousin’s failed attempts to console you. Stories couldn’t buy the new toy race car that he got. Stories couldn’t buy him candy at the corner market near the kindergarten. Stories couldn’t buy a GameBoy.

Stories didn’t matter.

Money mattered.

Still, nearly a decade later, you never failed to ask for your unconventional form of payment every time he took a portion of your lunch. He knew you packed more for him anyway. And he knew you would always ask for a story in return.

And he intentionally packed smaller meals so he could tell you about how the History teacher had botched up his classmate’s test and accidentally graded off by one, about how the clarinet solo he was learning required a finger pattern he wasn’t used to, about how that one guy—oh, the tennis player?—no, no, the flautist—isn’t it flutist?—it doesn’t matter—yes, it does, Jihoon—anyway, he asked out a girl—the senior?—yes—oh wow, how bold.

And you would smile in return, sliding your food choice of the day within his reach.

He learned that you hated money; it was the one and only thing your parents ever gave you consistently. Simply, it was the manifestation of their love (or lack of) for you.

So, he paid you with recountings of the mundane. You never complained, even when he felt as though his storytelling skills were lackluster. He held your rapt attention; your eyes wide with wonder, voice laced with curiosity.

Eventually, he asked you why.

Why stories?

“Because without them, I wouldn’t have learned that you love the X-Men series because of Hugh Jackman, that you prefer winter over summer, that the first ever K-Pop group you listened to was Brown Eyed Girls, that when you tell me a funny story, you wait until I react before you start laughing.”

And you gave him that smile that made his heart stutter.

“Money is everywhere, Jihoon. But there’s only one you. That’s all there is to it. People, at the core of it all, are just stories. So. That’s why. People will always matter more than profit.”

──────────────────

After Jihoon readied himself for the group dinner, he plopped himself down onto the communal couch and found himself scrolling through Instagram. He stopped at your latest post, a candid shot of you reading a children’s book to several six-year-olds, your face aglow with excitement, a high chance the photographer captured you mid-way through some silly voice attributed to the character on the page.

“Hey, hyung.”

“Hm?”

“Can I borrow your microphone for the day?”

Jihoon didn’t even have the chance to think twice before the words left his mouth, “Tell me your favorite color and how it makes you feel.”

An uncomfortable silence blanketed the room.

“Is… Is this a hidden-camera?”

“...never mind. Just put it back when you’re done.”

“It’s blue, by the way.”

“I don’t care—”

“It makes me feel happy because it’s the color of the sky and of the ocean, which means it can be super calm or super exciting. It’s also one of the colors of our Caratdeul.”

“Okay, Dokyeom-ssi. Get out.”

“Yes, hyung. Thank you.”

Jihoon thought about how, if given the chance, you would ask Seokmin if he liked the paleness of 9am or the depth of 6pm? If he liked the gentleness of serenity or the vibrancy of cerulean? Or if he appreciated all that the shades encompassed before fading into greens and indigos?

But he wasn’t you.

You were the inspiration; the muse.

You were the reason to write.

He was just a storyteller.

──────────────────

“THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO IS HERE. THANK YOU TO THE PLEDIS STAFF, OUR MANAGERS, OUR CHOREOGRAPHERS, OUR MUSIC TEAM, OUR DANCERS, OUR STYLISTS, OUR CAMERA WORKERS, OUR FAMILIES, AND OUR SEVENTEEN MEMBERS! HAPPY SIX YEARS. HERE’S TO MORE!”

Everyone in the rented out restaurant cheered before drinking together. Even the sound barrier breaking screams of Soonyoung wasn’t enough to dampen Jihoon’s pride and spirit over how far they’ve come as a team. He looked around at his table, several members already seemingly drunk, and couldn’t help but smile to himself.

“Jihoon-ah, make an exception for tonight and drink!”

He shook his head fervently. “There’s going to be several of you who are going to regret drinking when we have our V LIVE tomorrow. You’re going to look super puffy.”

“I can already feel it,” Seungcheol laughed, his eyes slightly glazed. “But the food and the beer are too good to pass up.”

Speaking of, Jihoon made sure to snatch a piece of kalbi to put onto his plate before Mingyu could. The younger one gave him the stink-eye while Jihoon merely smirked and tilted his head back, challenging him. Mingyu decided to change his target and grab at Seungkwan’s piece, who promptly smacked his hand with a “Kim Mingyu!”

Laughter went around the table as they reflected on the last six years, the amount of embarrassing moments that were brought up were positively correlated with the amount of shots that were taken.

Jihoon grit his teeth as he tried not to fold in on himself, remembering how they threw him up as a cheer and nearly ended his life by creating a Jihoon-shaped hole in the ceiling. He was so much smaller back then, easier to launch without thinking.

They laughed about the incident where Mingyu was nearly beaten to death by Jihoon with a guitar, which Jihoon argued that he still believed he was in the right. They discussed one of their first performances as a team, where they performed NU’EST’s “Hello” and they all had helmet hair. They poked fun at Seungkwan for his revolutionary English skills when he said, “are you kimbap kidding?”

They’ve grown so much.

International interviews with BuzzFeed, Seventeen the magazine, and others. GOING SEVENTEEN as a show has grown alongside them, more than just showing Carats the behind-the-scenes, but has now turned to variety that garnered the new fanbase of Cubics, and has been an honest highlight to Jihoon’s career, where they can just go wild and laugh with each other, just as they always do.

They talked about how they used to sneak in food, how they used to help each other get ready for school, how they still have the same playful spirit as they did back then, but with more trust that has formed between them (although, less for Jeonghan since his cheating at games has only gotten worse).

Jihoon leaned back, full of food and laughter and gratitude.

He wouldn’t trade his life with his team for anything.

(Not even you.)

However, that didn’t mean Jihoon didn’t want you to be a part of his already complete life.

He was a selfish human being.

He hoped you would be one too.

──────────────────

May 26th.

Six years ago, “Adore U” came out, marking the beginning of the journey of a thirteen member boy idol group named SEVENTEEN.

Now, here he was, trying to not be bullied into drinking another shot of soju after already consuming several in a short period.

Their anniversary V LIVE ended not too long ago and they did not have a schedule the following day, so the team decided to celebrate on their own, playing Mafia and messing around. A few hours ago, Jihoon would’ve hardly been able to tolerate the noise level, but since his hearing has been compromised due to his heart beating so loudly in his ears from the alcohol, he was plenty fine.

He shooed away his members and retreated back into the corner of the room, pulling out his cellphone and ignoring Mingyu making stupid kissy faces and noises. Jihoon shot him a look of disgust, but Mingyu merely laughed it off and went to go bother his next victim, who seemed to be Boo Seungkwan, a prime choice indeed.

As soon as he refreshed his Instagram app, there you were (with a highlighted gradient ring around your profile picture, your head tilted back with a soft smile grazing your features as you took in the endless sky above you).

He clicked on the circle and saw you and your friends there, a dimmed photo but your collective smiles large and wide. He recognized Hyejin and Wheein easily (the former with a disgusted look apparent on her face and the latter with a deep dimple), as they were two friends who were a common occurrence on your feed.

And there you were.

alexa, play congratulations by post malone ft. quavo 🥳🎓 #PHinisheD

The corner of his lip quirked up at the cleverness in your caption.

Perhaps it was because of the alcohol in his system, he swiped up to send a message:

i figured u would be a day6 or eric nam kind of fan

His brain short-circuited.

Shit. Fuck. Shit. Shit. Fuck.

Who was he to think he could directly message you like this? Also, who the hell was he to figure anything about you? He hasn’t even spoken to you. Jesus Christ, what has he done?

Before he could stop himself though, his thumbs decided to speak his thoughts.

sorry that was dumb of me to assume

of course u would like post malone considering u could rap the entirety of eminems album

What the hell, dude.

You were going to freak out and call him a creep and then block him.

You’ve literally never done that.

He tried to calm his heart.

However, not even ten minutes later, he realized he couldn’t take that risk.

sorry that was stupid

ignore me

congrats y/n

He felt nearly every goosebump that crawled along his skin, creeping up to his neck, threatening to choke him out. He breathed in deeply through his nose, hoping no one bears witness to him.

“Yah, Jihoon-ah.”

His eyes trailed up to see Soonyoung with a look of concern, mixed with a twinge of panic and anger.

Ah, it would be him.

“What did she do?”

──────────────────

For people who didn’t know him, Kwon Soonyoung comes off as, well, not-so-bright.

But that wasn’t (entirely) true.

Kwon Soonyoung was aware.

He knew how to read a room, but oftentimes, he would purposely choose to simply do what he wanted anyway. Hardly did he ever prioritize another person’s comfort and complacency over his expression of his individuality. He knew what it took to be a performer, and he never denied himself the opportunity to be one.

So, him simply staring at his friend in silence with eyes that alone could have earned him his moniker of “Tiger’s Gaze,” was a major indicator that something was amiss.

Also, the fact that his friend was shrouded in near darkness, eyes rimmed with red, only a corner lamp illuminating his pale features.

“She went to America. She’s never fucking coming back.”

Soonyoung tried not to wince at his friend’s broken tone. Jihoon cursed like a sailor when they were trainees, but it was a habit that he slowly lost since he would often be reprimanded for his speech. He had to do the work to censor himself.

Well, the K-Pop industry was not a stranger to censorship, he mused.

“Wasn’t she already at an international school, though?”

“Yeah, but I just… I thought she would come back after graduating from that boarding school, you know? She wanted to go to Seoul National University, but. Fuck, dude. What if I’m the reason she stopped? What if she stopped following her dreams because of me? What if I–”

“She made her choice, Jihoon.”

“This is all my fault.”

“How?”

Soonyoung saw confusion flit across Jihoon’s face, but it quickly settled with a shake of his head. “It just is, alright?”

“Jihoon–”

“I’ll never be good enough for her. Fuck, I just thought if I tried, then maybe I could be, and– God, who do I think I am? Of course she’d never want someone like me–”

“Dude! Shut the fuck up, will you?”

Jihoon sat there in stunned silence.

“This might not even have anything to do with you. And if she really went to America because she’s trying to avoid you, then she’s a massive bitch–”

“Don’t fucking call her that–”

“I can do whatever the hell I want. Just like she’s doing whatever the hell she wants.” Soonyoung’s anger was slowly morphing into rage. Who was this person in front of him? He was so used to the sure, secure Lee Jihoon who would never truly get riled up.

But one mention of you and suddenly he would spiral.

Who the hell did you think you were?

Leaving this man who loved you so fucking wildly, to the point where he was just one moment away from begging on his knees for your return.

Soonyoung felt disgusted, but it was more of a ringing concern in his ears.

“Jihoon, you’re acting crazy right now. So what if she doesn’t come back to Korea? Are you gonna wait like a fucking sad dog out in the rain? Hoping that she’ll come pick you up again? You’re missing your own fucking life here.”

“I just–”

“Yeah, yeah, you love her. I get it. But… If she were to see you right now, do you think she would even want this kind of love? This obsessive, insecure kind?”

Jihoon’s face was now contorted in pain and Soonyoung tried so terribly hard to keep his face neutral. Soonyoung was plenty capable of being a soothing person, especially to his fellow members, but he was so riddled with frustration that he knew that he would come off as disingenuous if he even tried to pretend to be.

“Let her go. If she comes back, then she will. But don’t let her come back to someone who is incapable of even picking himself off of the floor.”

“...Okay.”

Kwon Soonyoung was aware.

Aware of how much Lee Jihoon was in love with you.

Painfully so.

──────────────────

“I just–”

“You just what?” Soonyoung’s eyes bore into his friend’s face.

Jihoon recoiled at his tone. “I replied to her Instagram story and it was some dumb comment, but what if she thinks I’m being too much and she backs off and–?”

“Jihoon-ah.”

“...Soonyoung-ah.”

“She’s human, right?”

Jihoon raised an eyebrow at that. “Yeah, no shit.”

“Then why are you acting like she’s this untouchable goddess? Who cares if she thinks you’re being too much? You’re putting her on a pedestal she probably doesn’t even want, dude.”

──────────────────

“Why’d you reject the guy?”

You glanced up at her best friend. “What’re you talking about?”

Jihoon cocked his head to the side. Was it already so quickly forgotten by you? It happened at lunch and it was kind of rowdy. Poor dude. “The guy who asked you out to the dance. You said you thought he was cute before and that he was good at tutoring math.”

“Yeah, I might know him, but he doesn’t know me.”

Jihoon raised an eyebrow. “I thought you guys tutored together.”

You clicked your tongue. “Yeah, we do, but. He doesn’t know me. I know him because I ask him questions. I ask him about himself. But he never once asked me a question about me. If he did, he would know that I hate public gestures. He would know that I don’t like receiving flowers. He didn’t even care to ask any of my friends about what I liked. The main reason as to why he asked me to go to the dance is probably because I made him feel good about himself. I might know him, but he doesn’t know me, and that’s one of the most annoying things.”

“What, that people don’t know you?”

“No. That people assume they know me.”

Jihoon paused for a moment.

“People think that I’m this super wholesome good kid who gets perfect grades.”

“Well, one of those things is true.”

You cracked a smile at that. “Yeah, well. The more people assume I’m on a different level from them, the lonelier it is. I just… I don’t want to be lonely, Jihoon.”

“It’s alright. I’ll make sure you aren’t.”

It was chilling, how your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes, as if you knew a secret he didn’t, as if you already prophesied a future that rendered his words empty. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Lee Jihoon.”

──────────────────

Jihoon nearly bit his tongue.

Ever since he no longer had the security of having you be by his side, he became exactly like one of them, forcing assumptions onto you.

You were out of sight and he was out of his mind.

He told you that you could always be yourself around him, and here he was, creating a caricature of you in his head that he knew didn’t exist. To push forth the narrative he wrote. One born of insecurity. “...I don’t understand how you’ve been so right lately?”

“I really do wish I had my phone around to record you when you say that,” Soonyoung said off-handedly. “So, you’re not going to try to unsend those messages?”

“You can unsend messages?”

“Uh–”

Jihoon immediately unlocked his phone to go to his messages. There, he saw your chat. He long-pressed the message without much thought and his thumb hovered over it.

But he hesitated.

“...Just watching from afar isn’t enough for you anymore, is it?”

Jihoon stared up at his friend, who had a look of (almost) pity etched across his features. Jihoon swallowed the lump in his throat. “...No. I don’t think it is.”

“Well, if she rejects you in any kind of way, I can comfort you.”

“No thanks.”

“Yeah, thought you’d say that.”

──────────────────

Almost exactly sixty minutes later, Jihoon witnessed a miracle.

“...She replied.”

Seungkwan glanced up at Jihoon. “Who?”

Jihoon turned his screen to his younger member, who leaned forward to read his screen. Only to audibly gasp and cover his mouth with his hands. “You messaged her?!”

“Yeah, like an hour ago. Keep up.”

“Hyung, you didn’t tell me–”

“Ah, Boo Seungkwan.”

The corner of Seungkwan’s mouth twitched and Jihoon merely smirked. He turned his attention back to your messages, smiling fondly at your usage of 🥳 after greeting him a happy anniversary.

Oh shit, wait. You knew SEVENTEEN?

And he portrayed that sentiment exactly when messaging you.

(With some typing errors.)

(He may or may not have taken one, two, several shots once the anxiety settled back into him.)

(His alcohol tolerance was nonexistent.)

The messages were now rapid-fire. He found out that you were a Carat and that you favored Yoon Jeonghan.

He snorted at that, of course you would.

A lightbulb lit up over his head. Ah. He could do something for you.

He jumped up from his seat on the couch, away from Seungkwan who was watching over his shoulder the entire time who chose to remain silent because he knew he would be kicked out if he said anything compromising. “Jeonghan-hyung.”

“Woozi Woozi~?”

“Can you do something for me?”

Jeonghan stared at him, frozen. Then after a moment to process what exactly Jihoon said, the older one crossed his arms over his chest, a scandalized look in his wide eyes. “Depends on what you’re asking for.”

“YAH.”

“Lee Jihoon, don’t yell at someone you’re trying to ask a favor from. You’re lucky I’m a nice guy.”

Jihoon held his tongue, but his expression must have given it away because Jeonghan laughed and said that he would rather not die, and asked Jihoon to continue with what he was saying. “Y/N just graduated and she basically said that you’re her favorite SEVENTEEN member–”

“WOW! I like her already.”

“Hyung.”

“Okay, what do you want me to do for both my cute fan and my even cuter dongsaeng?”

“Just a video to congratulate her.”

“My videos are rare, it’s not easy to get something like this, you know.”

“Hyung, please.”

Jeonghan cackled, but quickly acquiesced. “Alright, alright.”

Soon enough, he found himself in a rhythm speaking to you. It was so easy, there was no residual awkwardness (on his end, at least) and it felt so natural. The banter was still there and so were your emoticons, escalating from the “:)” of your childhood to the iPhone emojis. You seemed so close, within reach, attainable.

That felt dangerous.

He could feel it. He could feel that desire to spill out everything he could. He spent years coming up with the words he wished he could’ve told you, some of them now award-winning songs, and it feels almost euphoric to know that he could tell you it all.

But.

He wasn’t sure, still. How receptive you would be. Would you run away like you did in the past whenever things became too much, too overwhelming? He always reminded you that you could never be that, but he wasn’t sure whether he was of the same capacity.

He wants you in his life. There is no doubt about that, especially not now.

But what if you leave again?

He cannot mess this up. He can’t.

So, he kept things light between you, jokes and jabs.

But that didn’t stop him from pushing for more, disguised in a (not-so) innocent attempt at ensuring that he would be able to have open contact with you in the future.

And that’s all he needed. A future with you in it.

That wasn’t too much to ask for, right?

──────────────────

Yes. Yes, it was.

After a few days of no response from your end on KakaoTalk, your Shikamaru profile picture almost mocking him with his permanent deadpan look, the answer was resounding.

But Jihoon’s entire identity was based on his stubbornness.

So, he decided to take a chance and message you on Instagram.

Only to retract immediately saying you didn’t have to reply.

Stupid.

Thankfully, though, you responded within 30 minutes, admitting that @narutofanfreak123 was not exactly a username you wanted to share with anyone above the age of twelve. You both quickly resolved the miscommunication (wow, Jihoon thought, imagine if we had this before).

He chuckled at your choice of KKT username, @MadameFirefly, oddly touched that his nickname for you still held enough weight to be your moniker for a messaging app.

He did his best to casually ask what you were planning on doing in the future (not like he wanted to see if he could somehow fit into it, or whatever).

Jihoon was left staring at his phone screen, the weight of his phone now burdened by the weight of your choices. Seoul? Or New York City?

──────────────────

“You didn’t have to miss the dance just because I got a B on an exam, you know.”

“Your parents are insane for grounding you to the library for a B on an exam, you know? And for a hagwon that’s way above our grade level.”

You shook your head, not willing to admit out loud that you agreed. “What I mean is that you don’t have to keep me company while I study when you could go off and meet cute girls and sweep them off their feet.”

“Why would I do that when I can watch you and your snot-nosed face trying to do college level calculus?”

“It’s all so that I can get into Seoul National.”

“Firefly, you could get into any school, even outside Korea.”

“Maybe I’ll do just that,” you laughed. “Finally get out of here.”

“Just let me know and I’ll stow myself into your suitcase.”

“Oh please. You’ll probably be the one traveling internationally doing whatever you do. A world-renowned musician.”

“Alright, you can be in my suitcase instead then.”

“Okay, can you leave breathing holes for me?”

“No, get better lung capacity.”

You clicked your tongue at him and he laughed. “Seriously, though, Jihoonie. You could be spending your teen years the way the movies do it. You could be ‘swearing you’re infinite’ while a slow-mo cam focuses on you as you dance, surrounded by beautiful people definitely too old to be cast as teenagers.”

“No thanks.”

You put your forehead down onto the table. “Please. Do it for me. Get a girlfriend because I can’t.”

“You know, you’re probably why I can’t get a girlfriend.”

No. You definitely were.

You shot him an annoyed look. “You could easily go and find someone who’d be smitten with you. But instead you’re about to watch me get a nosebleed over how hard I’m working my brain here.”

“Maybe I’m a sadist and want to watch that happen.”

You threw your eraser at him, but easily missed, the rubber object bouncing off of the table and onto the carpeted floor. You whined at the idea of having to leave your seat and Jihoon just rolled his eyes and picked it up for you.

Sure, he could be dancing with his friends, with cute girls, with whoever. He could be surrounded by endless snacks and overly sweet punch, the dance no doubt smelling like youth and pride and reckless decisions. He would see that there are plenty of people in his life outside of you.

But, no.

If he did, you would be left here, in this almost deserted library on a Friday, pouring blood, sweat, and tears into what your parents have convinced you matters more than your health.

You gave him a large grin as he passed you your eraser before you went back to focusing on your work.

Yeah, he’d much rather see this instead.

──────────────────

Later that evening, he found himself again in his recording studio.

Our past that didn’t line up,

If I could go back in time,

Rather than roughly, but warmly,

Would I be able to let you go?

He stared at the lyrics he wrote, feeling discontent. He wanted to be the kind of person who didn’t feel any kind of residual emotions towards you. Who would be able to meet you where you were and wish you well, no matter where you decided to go.

One of his biggest regrets was storming out of your childhood home the way that he did. He could’ve had answers but instead he was left with hostile emotions and questions.

He could only hope he would’ve done something different.

But now that he is faced with letting you go, he’s not sure how easily he would yield.

He took a moment to bury his face in his hands and tried to think about this from your perspective (something he had to practice while living with twelve other boys). He breathed in deeply and thought about the you that you are now, about how the person he fell in love with could easily be gone, and you were nothing but a shadow of what remained.

But that didn’t feel right either. It seems as though the person that you’ve grown into, that you’ve flourished into, is someone he would’ve wanted to get to know regardless of whether you had history or not.

Perhaps that is because of the artifice of social media, or perhaps it’s because you carry an air of authenticity with you that has now been given the opportunity to bloom instead of stifled in the environment you were raised in. Whether or not you were mere remnants of his past, it does not mean that the person you are now is any less lovely.

He groaned loudly.

Emotional labor is hard.

How is this something you enjoy doing?

──────────────────

“You really want to become a social worker, huh?”

You shrugged. “I mean, yeah. It feels like the best use of my skills. I like being able to potentially help people like me and well, there are a lot of people like me, you know. I don’t know whether I want to become a private practice therapist, but that seems like a solid option for now until I know more about what else is out there in the field.”

He would disagree, but he decided not to. “I just can’t deal with all of those emotions.”

You gave him a raised eyebrow. “What are you talking about? You’re one of the most sensitive people that I know.”

Jihoon felt ruffled by that. “What? What are you talking about?”

You quickly put your hands up in mock defense. “I’m not saying that being sensitive is a bad thing. I’m saying that there’s no way you would be my friend if you couldn’t handle emotions. I have way too many of them, I’m not that blind to that. Also, I’ve read your poetry and heard your music and that’s some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. Like, even the way you hold your clarinet is emotional.”

“I think that’s you projecting yourself onto me.”

“Say what you want, Jihoon. You’re a sensitive soul, but I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

“Yeah, well, sensitivity isn’t what gets you awards, you know. Skill does.”

You huffed in response. “Yeah, well, once you build up the second, the first is what will create a legacy that will be one to remember for ages to come. I’m speaking it into existence now. And I lay claim to the title of being your first fan. I will support you the entire way, no matter what you do. Music, baseball, comedy. Whatever!”

Jihoon snorted. He wouldn’t dare become a comedian, but it made him feel good that you thought that was a viable prospect for him. “Whatever industry I’m in, I’ll probably have to protect you from all of the bad people. You’re too soft. Even just last week, I mean…”

“What? You mean, when Nahyun made fun of me during my presentation in front of everyone?”

Irritation washed over Jihoon. 

The self-proclaimed It Girl decided to try and belittle you while in the middle of your presentation, as you were explaining the measurements that you used in your findings, she asked whether you had ‘measured’ your weight recently because ‘you really ought to’.

He never wanted to get into a fight more than then, especially when your other classmates laughed along. It was a subpar, typical, low-class mean girl line, but it filled him with rage.

You were completely unphased by it, continuing on with your presentation, not even choosing to spare a glance in her direction.

Luckily, the teacher, not being a prick himself, called out Nahyun and pulled her aside after class to apologize to you. (Jihoon would’ve preferred a public execution apology.)

Jihoon stood just a few feet away as you accepted her half-assed effort. You paused for a moment and muttered something to her, something that only she could hear. Nahyun merely pursed her lips afterwards before walking away. Irritation rushed through him again.

“Seriously, though. You’re too soft, firefly.”

“Hm. I don’t think so.”

“No?”

“No. I just think everyone else is too hard on themselves. And each other.”

“...You’re gonna be a great therapist.”

“Thanks. Hire me.”

──────────────────

Jihoon had his own fair share of meetings with professional counselors (especially in the midst of living such a hectic life as an idol), but he was worried whether you would be as cut and dry as they were, whittled down by years of academia. It seemed almost like they were reading out of a textbook, using vocabulary words like ‘empathy’ and ‘self-care,’ so he never saw it fit to return if it wasn’t necessary.

However, the places you’ve poured your time into left only glowing reviews for your passion and compassion for the field that you were in.

Jihoon was roused from his thoughts at his phone ringing on his desk. He looked at the Caller ID and saw a name he has been in and out of contact with for over a decade, it was your cousin. He picked it up. “Yo, hyung. What’s up?”

“Are you busy right now, Jihoon?”

“No. It’s a slower day today. Do you need something?”

“Yeah, just wanted to let you know that I’ll be in Seoul in a few weeks. Your noona and I are planning on celebrating saying goodbye to our single days by drinking way too much within the span of 12 or so hours. I wanted to see if you were down to join.”

“I probably won’t drink, but if it’s for you, hyung, I’ll go.”

“Nice. And you can feel free to leave after the dinner, we’ll just be at an apartment we’re renting out in Gangnam, since I don’t trust those fools to walk around the streets of Hongdae.”

“I’ll probably do that, I don't want to accidentally be caught by Dispatch.”

“Right, right. We wouldn’t want to sully the name of the best producer in all of K-Pop.”

“That’s a title I don’t think I’ll ever get.”

Your cousin laughed. “You never know, you might get that award sooner than you think, kiddo. Alright, I’ll keep you updated on our schedule. But uh…”

Jihoon knew his hyung well. He was about to bring you up again. “What about her?”

“I just wanted to ask whether you’d be interested in a meet-up with her. Not that we’ve asked her or anything, but I know we’ll probably meet up with her at some point, and I know it’ll feel weird if we’re not all together, you know? The four of us.”

“Yeah… I want to say that I’m courteous enough to wait for her response, but I just know that I’m willing to meet with her, if anything. Even just one last time.”

“That… sounds kinda sad, but. I guess I’ll take it. If you’re down, we could even make it a surprise on her end.”

He imagined your deer in headlights look but couldn’t think further than that. “Sounds like we’d really be putting her on the spot, if that was the case.”

“Hey, she’s rarely played it safe. Same with you. Might as well keep the flow going. And if anything, I’ll take the brunt of it all. She can’t stay mad at me for too long.”

“We both know that’s literally not true.”

“Okay, fine. Your noona can take the blame.”

“Wow, very excited to see how this marriage will go.”

His hyung laughed. “Amazingly, I’m sure.”

A thought occurred to Jihoon and he realized it was strange that he was mentioning it as an afterthought, as if it was something to be expected, something natural and normal. “Oh, hyung. By the way, I’m talking to Y/N again.”

Jihoon heard the undeniable ‘beep beep beep’ of being hung up and he stared confused at his phone screen until he saw another phone call from your cousin. He picked up with a, “Hello?”

Your cousin sounded much more flustered than he did just seconds ago. “Sorry. I hung up because I dropped my phone by accident. Say that again. You’re what?”

“I’m talking to her again. Kind of. I guess. Like, Instagram DMing went to KakaoTalk.”

“Jesus Christ, you slid into her DMs?”

“Can you not say it like that?”

“Can you say that that didn’t happen?”

Jihoon relayed the entire experience to him, only now realizing he didn’t even share all of the details with his members because it would’ve been too much teasing fodder from them. But your cousin, his hyung, was the kind of fellow that wouldn’t do that, even given the opportunity.

──────────────────

“Hyung,” Jihoon started one day, across from said person in a local Busan restaurant. “I don’t get how you’re single.”

“Why, you wanna date me?”

Jihoon’s eye twitched and your cousin laughed. Jihoon bit on his straw, the family style meal between the two young men long since devoured. “People compare us, you know.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “What’s there to compare?”

“I don’t know. So many people around us know how cool you are. You’re good at sports, you’re smart, you have a lot of friends, you’re handsome. Everyone always says you’re one of the best listeners they’ve ever met.”

“The trick is to not pay attention sometimes and just nod.”

“I’m gonna tell Y/N you said that.”

“I’m sure she knows,” he laughed. “Well, I'm honored that you think all of those things, but those are all traits you have too. You do realize that, right?”

Jihoon grunted. “Not… really.”

“Well, just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean others don’t. My cousin definitely does. She’s a good kid and has a good heart. Same with you. If you ever decide to do anything about those feelings of yours, just know that I approve.”

Jihoon nearly choked on his drink. “Wh–?”

“Oh, it was a secret?”

“Hyung!”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t say anything to her, don’t worry. And if you ask me, I’d say that you’re the only one on this planet that even has a chance. Well, except that girl from the cake shop.”

Jihoon sneered.

Fucking Woo Soyeon.

With her shiny hair and long eyelashes and doe eyes and tanned skin from her beach volleyball playing.

Giving out discounts to you like nobody’s business. Calling you cute and flirting nonstop while twirling a lock of her hair. Saying you’re her favorite customer. He could swear Woo Soyeon would throw a knowing smirk at him every time you stuttered a little too long when saying thank you.

That damned girl behind the counter, the one whose beauty and voice (“It’s just so velvety, you know? Like the chocolate cherry cakes.”) he knew you were smitten by.

She was even taller than him, especially in her heels.

At the ripe age of 15, Jihoon understood what jealousy was.

Because of fucking Woo Soyeon.

“Watch out, Jihoon. I can hear your thoughts all the way from over here.”

“Sorry.”

Your cousin laughed. “Trust me, you mean a lot more to her than cake counter girl. My cousin wanted all of us to go see the Christmas lights in the city together. You don’t see her inviting that cake counter girl, do you?”

Jihoon felt a weird sense of pride well up in his chest. Then immediately deflated. It felt stupid to feel like he won against a person who’s just trying to sell cakes to a loyal customer. “Hyung, how do you do it? You’d never let yourself get angry or jealous over stuff like this.”

The older of the two cocked an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“You wouldn’t get jealous over a cake counter girl.”

“Says who? I get jealous. It’s normal, you know. Jealousy isn’t inherently a bad thing. It’s just what you do with it, right? Like, just because you’re jealous of cake counter girl, does that mean you stop Y/N from going to that shop?”

“What? Why would I do that? She loves that shop.”

“Exactly. Emotional maturity doesn’t mean you stop yourself from feeling the emotion, it just means you learn how to handle it as it comes. And once you practice it enough, it becomes easier and easier.”

“You make it sound easy, but it’s not.”

“Hey, I’m not anything big and special myself.”

Jihoon shook his head. “Hyung, you’re a superhuman.”

“No, I’m just human and letting myself be that,” he corrected. “Trust me, there’s plenty of good people out there. A lot of them just aren’t making the decision to do so. It’s easier to be cruel, but. I want to prove that you can be kind and still be a man. We get to define what that means. If I decided to be cruel, to become what society says is ‘a man,’ then I have no doubt Y/N would lose trust in me, and probably, all men.”

Jihoon noticed that his hyung stared at him for a second.

“Actually, maybe not all men.”

Jihoon felt embarrassed, but also honored, at the implication. “Thanks, hyung. You know, for not making fun of me. And for admitting that you also feel those kinds of things.”

“Absolutely, I’m glad I could help.”

“I’m seriously still surprised that you’re single.”

“Yeah, well. That might not always be the case if I can figure out what to do.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well… you know your noona?”

──────────────────

Jihoon couldn’t help but shake his head at the way the events unfolded. Your cousin told him about his feelings for his future wife, but it still took a few years for anything to come out of that. He wondered whether being childhood friends had anything to do with it, as if the longer and deeper the bond, the riskier the chasm was to try to jump across.

However, your cousin still managed to do it.

“How did you do it, hyung?”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“Just… how did you manage to tell noona how you felt?”

The older man laughed. “You really think that it was me who confessed? No, no. It was her. I think she was tired of the back and forth that was happening between us. I mean, so was I, but I was a coward, but thankfully, she wasn’t. Now because of her saying that she loved me first, I get to be the one who says it last. Then we start again. It’s a dialogue, you see. It doesn’t matter who starts the line, as long as it continues.”

“Oh…”

“Am I proud that I was a coward? No. I sometimes wish it was me who said it first so she wouldn’t have any room for doubt. But we can’t go back and change the past, only commit to a better future. All of this to say, though, Jihoon, it’s been long enough of not saying anything between the two of you. I don’t think you want to wait any longer.”

“…yeah. I agree.”

That night, hours after preparing for the album, Jihoon’s fingers tapped away on his Notes app.

This waiting, it’s not easy to endure.

It was past 4am now.

But he didn’t want to wait any longer.

So, he switched apps and instead of a blank Note, he began typing into a message box.

i know its late. rehearsal never ends until 3am and i know that when u get texts you wake up even if ur phone is on silent bc the vibration wakes u up so im trying to type this all in one message so that it doesnt wake u up (hopefully) but i didnt want it to seem like i left u on read because i was upset or something. but i didnt want to message until i had the time to have a full conversation but i dont think thats happening any time soon anyway. when you see this i hope it makes sense im not sure if i am

A response from you was the last thing he expected, but you always managed to surprise him.

The first time he heard your voice directly in his ears, he thought he was going to spontaneously combust. But he tried to keep his voice level as he asked you about where you were leaning towards for your career.

The relief that rushed through him.

The hope that ignited in him.

That was the spark needed for him to explode.

And so he did, into words.

“I’m proud of you, you know?”

He heard your throaty stutter, one that only came out whenever you were really caught off guard. “Uh—what?”

“You got a whole ass PhD. From the best university in Korea,” Jihoon still couldn’t believe the two of you went to the same school. “You got offered a job at a super big school in America. One that’s super big in the field that you studied. You graduated from an even school for undergrad, a school that even I know the name of. And just… I know that people expect you to achieve because you’ve always been a genius, always so brilliant, but. You also work really hard. So I’m proud of you.”

He could barely hear your, “It’s not that big of a deal—” over the pounding in his ears.

“But it is, firefly.”

And suddenly he was brought back to all the years before. Where he spent more years in love with you than not. How that nickname encapsulated exactly as he saw you: inspiration, guidance, hope.

“I mean, I just—”

Your flustered response only encouraged him to continue. “You don’t have to believe me. But that won’t stop me from feeling it.”

“Jihoon, I—”

He didn’t realize just how much he’s missed hearing you say his name. But more than that, “I’ve missed you.”

There was a pause on your end, but he was done with his.

“I’ve missed you a stupid amount. Like us stealing your dad’s car to drive to McDonald’s at 3am and then running a red light on the way there. And then somehow almost hitting an entire flock of seagulls—” which he would never admit to being the reason he never wants to get behind the wheel again. “And then going to some random, deserted parking lot. And then realizing we didn’t know the way home, so we drove aimlessly, for, like, 45 minutes. And then panicking when we kept seeing the gas needle going down. That kind of stupid.”

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly why he was naming a memory that you no doubt remember as well, it was near traumatizing. But there was something in him that didn’t want you to forget. He didn’t want himself to forget. Because…

If I forget someday, as if nothing is wrong,

Our future will be empty and sad.

It’s not that I want to forget you.

Ah, he made a mental note to switch to his Notes app later.

“I… I missed you too.”

Jihoon couldn’t stop the grin spreading across his cheeks, almost to the point of straining them. It was already so late and he still had enough function in his brain to know he ought to cut this short now. Otherwise, he’d be on the phone with you for an ungodly amount of time. “I have to sleep now, but. I just. I couldn’t not tell you. That’s all.”

“Okay.” Your voice sounded so small, he had to press his phone closer to his ear to ensure he didn’t miss anything.

“Get some sleep, firefly. Or should I call you, Dr. Firefly now?”

“That sounds like a cartoon villain.”

He laughed hard at that. You would say that. “Alright, we’ll just go with firefly then.”

‘We’ felt good on his tongue.

“Night, night, Jihoonie.”

“Sleep well, firefly.”

He told you he needed to sleep, but with the way that he was running on sheer endorphins from finally releasing some of that pressure inside of him, sleep was the furthest thing on his mind. Instead, he imagined you getting some well-deserved rest, wondering what kind of dreams you hoped to have.

You were falling asleep, he was falling in love.

──────────────────

In less than 24 hours, he was going to see you in person for the first time in years, no more needing to find YouTube videos or podcasts or news articles or social media posts.

Tomorrow, he’ll be face to face with you.

And the dorm was in chaos.

“He should wear the white button down!”

“No, he should wear something funky, with cool patterns!”

“What? Absolutely not, hyung! Jihoon-hyung looks best in plain clothing, his skin shines that way!”

“Well, he’s been avoiding his skincare, so that might not be the best route to go down.”

“Hoon is handsome no matter what!”

Jihoon was exhausted. Why were his members more invested in this than he was?

Even Soonyoung was getting giddy. And that was a problem. When it came to you, Soonyoung was his voice of reason, but after he relayed the phone call he had with you, Soonyoung was easily won over by your: ‘I missed you too.’

“I knew it!” The tiger had exclaimed.

(Jihoon wasn’t sure whether he did.)

Junhui was thriving off of the chaos and was now leaping across the wooden floor, with Jeonghan quickly on his tail, trying to coerce him into stopping and failing miserably. Seokmin was still trying to convince Seungkwan that a funky pattern was like how, in nature, peacocks showed off to their mates—“he’s not a bird, hyung!”—while Soonyoung kept interjecting saying that Jihoon was attractive no matter what so he could just wear a plastic bag (which earned him a gentle slap by Seokmin). Mingyu disappeared for a moment after Wonwoo’s off-handed comment about Jihoon’s skin, only to return with his skincare products that Jihoon knew were going to be slapped on him soon enough. Seungcheol kept repeating in an exasperated tone, “Stop fighting, we already got a noise complaint this week,” while Jisoo and Minghao were probably off in Jihoon’s closet trying to establish an outfit for him without his consent. Hansol was on his phone, noise-canceling earphones on, completely uninvolved in what was going on. Chan was only goading on whoever was the loudest in the moment (currently, Junhui).

Jihoon piped up. “Do I get an opinion on this?”

In near perfect synchronization (including the boys in his room), everyone responded with a, “No!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose.

God, tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

[continue reading here]

[wonwooslibrary]

svt as boyfriends ♡ seungkwan edition

member: seungkwan x gn!reader genre: fluff, bullet points, established relationship word count: 834 summary: seungkwan's boyfriend things <3 warnings: mentions of kissing & mentions of food author's note: today is a sad day :( happy moonbin day & i hope he is resting in peace. in honor of moonbin day and woozi releasing what kind of future, here is some small seungkwan things to cheer everyone up. please take care of yourself!

He is the soft and cuddly teddy bear boyfriend and I love him for it 

There is this one guy on TikTok who like…gets dressed in front of the camera and shows his outfits as a plus-size man and istg that is Seungkwan’s vibe and !!! 

He also gives coffee dates and light academia and book boyfriends 

Quality Time 

Loves scrolling through social media with you before bed 

Dates! Oh gosh he loves taking you out and getting boba or ice cream :3 

Seungkwan’s definitely a big fan of watching a series with you too - like you would go to Netflix or something and find something you both want to watch but haven’t started yet and it becomes YOUR show 

Prefers to go out and explore with you rather than stay in (he’s an extrovert, what can I say?)

Loves teaching you things he loves! Like, for example, he would try to teach you a Wonder Girls dance and you guys would have so much fun with it 

Also loves being with you in moments of sadness - you’re his person and you make him feel strong, so he’s not ashamed to be with you and cry around you

At first, he would be super embarrassed to meet your friends, but after a while, they’d love him and he would be more comfortable around them

Words of Affirmation

Is always saying stuff like “You worked so hard!” or “I’m so happy that you are the one I get to spend my life with” 

I feel like he is very picky with his nicknames…like he would never use food related ones like “cutie pie” because they are overused, but he would love something like “sweetheart” brb sobbing 

Seems to enjoy receiving compliments too! Like you tell him that you loved the singing cover that he did and he’ll scream 

Also uses songs and lyrics as a way to express his love for you! Nothing fits more than music 

Was really shy when you first got together and would blush any time you spoke to him or even looked in his direction

Totally keeps a photo of you guys as his lockscreen on his phone, but one that he edits with cute stickers (aka he always places his phone screen-up so if someone asks about it he can talk about how much he loves you) 

Physical Touch

HE LOVES CUDDLES 

He is a clingy bf but in the way that if he has the chance to cozy up with you under a soft blanket with a movie playing in the background, he totally would go for it 

Loves when you play with his hair, but always manages to mess yours up and then feel super bad about it 

If he wants a kiss or something and you say no, he’ll be really pouty and sad about it until you agree, but of course with that look on his face, you can’t say no for too long! 

At the beginning of your relationship, he would try to hold your hand but get embarrassed but you love it 

Rests his head on your shoulder a lot :( 

Man survives on back rubs and hugs 

Acts of Service 

Loves turning on the shower or setting up a cozy bath for you <3 

Always offers you his coat when you go on walks together because he is afraid of you getting sick 

If you’re in pain or sick he’ll always do small things like brushing or tying your hair up, tying your shoes or even zipping your coat up 

Asks if you’re drinking water and making sure to eat throughout the day because it makes him sad when you forget and then are living off of snacks 

Likes making you calming tea before bed and makes sure that you take your vitamins/medication every morning/night

In the winter, he’d always shovel or clean off your car for you, so you don’t have to get up early and do it because he knows how much rest you need :((( 

Always sends good morning and good night texts when you are apart, just to let you know that he is thinking about you 

Gift Giving 

LOVES giving you his hoodies, as it makes him feel warm on the inside he’s so cute 

Also loves the idea of having those matching hoodies or phone cases, but when you tell him that those are too embarrassing, he’ll settle for something small like just wearing the same colors scheme or having matching bear keychains 

Makes you playlists when he finds a lot of songs that: he wants to show you, reminds him of you, or makes him feel strong emotions 

If he goes on any trip without you, he’ll always bring you back something cute, like a seashell or a snowglobe

Goes all out for your birthday or holidays that you celebrate - he is not afraid to spend hundreds of dollars on squishmallows if that is what you like 

He’s a simp when it comes to gift giving

[kittykat-25]

Not Alone- An S.Coups Story Main Masterlist

Pairing: Seungcheol x F. Reader

Genre: strangers x friends x lovers, Hurt x Comfort, found family, seventeen being the best friends and brothers.

Synopsis: After begging the famous K-pop sensation S.Coups for help in the Seoul street market your life completely flips upside down, bringing you true friendship and a chance at true love.

Warnings: brief show of domestic violence, stalking, drinking, car wrecks, anxiety, mentions of Moonbin. Mentions of suicide, family member passing,

A/N: This story is purely fiction. It talks about harsh things such as domestic violence, suicide and anxiety. This in no way represents the artist or their families. It is all made up

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15

TAGLIST:

@hi-cherry@hwasddeongbyeoli @btskzfav @ateez-atiny380 @butterfliesinthenightsky @nooniena @allisonleannn @cherrylovescheol

[ryuwonieebae]

Under the celestial moon

---------------------

𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐍 (부승관) Imagines, One-shot

Genre : Fluff, romance, emotional

Pairing : Idol!Seungkwan x fem!reader

Warning : mentions of Moonbin, pet names, mention of death & emotional

After losing someone he cherishes the most, Seungkwan became miserable and needed a shoulder to rely on...

---------------------

"I know that you're not alright"

That's it. Seungkwan broke down in tears and hugged you tightly like there was no tomorrow. You could feel your boyfriend's tears streaming down his face making your shirt wet.

"it's okay dear. Let it all out"

Seungkwan clutched your shirt tightly and cried so hard that it made your eyes teary but you acted strong for your boyfriend who just lost one of the people he loved the most. Things were not going well for Seungkwan as after Moonbin's death he became stressed and couldn't focus on his career.

So he took a break from everything. You tried to make him feel better but your efforts were in vain making it hard for both you and him. Seungkwan felt guilty and apologised so many times which made you feel annoyed. You were his girlfriend so of course you have to take care of him.

"Are you tired? Do you wanna eat something or?" You asked him in a tone that showed your concern. You were about to get up but his hands grabbed your wrist and pulled you closer to him.

"I just want you, dear" he laid on the bed and pulled you in closer to cuddle. You flashed him a genuine smile and made yourself relaxed in his arms.

"Thank you, darling. If it wasn't for you I don't know what I could have possibly done. I love you" his voice was almost a whisper that only you and him could hear. Seungkwan chuckled and put his chin on top of your head as snuggled in his arms trying to hide your siren-red face. Shortly, you fell asleep in his arms relaxed.

"I love you(too)," he said as he kissed your forehead.

Seungkwan stared at the celestial moon which was hanging in the dim sky. "I miss you" A tear flowed down on his cheeks as the thoughts of Bin rushed to his mind but he quickly wiped it away as he closed his eyes went into his deep slumber.

---------------------

A/n : +This fanfiction is purely based on my imagination only.

+It's totally fictional!

+I hope this is good enough to make you guys happy. I'm still learning to write in a creative way. Thank you for supporting me. It means a lot to me. Thanks to my besties too<3...

[gayashawol]

𝕎𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕡𝕒𝕕 ♡ 𝔸𝕆𝟛 ♡ 𝕃𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕁𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕟𝕒𝕝

♡ 𝕀𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕠 ♡

name: jonghyun's bae-

age: guess (clue: i'm at least +18)

gender: male/non binary (he/they)

sex: (will reveal at 100 followers)

sexuality: i'm attracted to jonghyun and jongmi-

currently at: london, uk (it's boring here ngl)

country: oyo eza liseki? (🇨🇩)

bias: big tiddy jonghyun

𝙸’𝚖 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙽𝚎𝚎 (𝙺-𝙿𝚘𝚙) 𝚎𝚛𝚊 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙸’𝚖 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖𝚜 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘�� 𝚊𝚜𝚔! 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚠!

♡ 𝔹𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 ♡

As you may be able to tell, this is a K-Pop blog. I make fanfics for a K-Pop group named “SHINee.” I write for all 5 members. The reason why I classify that is because since one of the members has passed away (Jonghyun), some writers may feel uncomfortable or cannot make fanfics of him. However, I am the complete polar opposite. In fact, it helps me deal with the bad emotions involving his death. However, I still have boundaries on what type of stories I could make with him. While I’m perfectly fine creating fluff and smut, angst is something I’m a bit iffy about. I’ll share a little more down below.

(Hey, this is taken from my “5HINee one shots (Active)” book but it still applies here.)

Fanfics that are allowed:

Crack/Humour

Fluff

Smut (I am perfectly fine making smut for anyone that are at least 21 (born on 2002 and earlier) and older. There might be some fandoms I don’t mind writing for all members/characters, but won’t be writing any smut for anyone that are/are meant to be 21 and under. For example, I am totally fine make Jungwon (ENHYPEN) fluff, but don’t feel comfortable making smut involving him.)

Angst (It depends what it is, but let me know and I’ll tell you if it’s alright or not!)

Sick

Crossovers (I don't mind them, as long as they aren't intended to be paedophilic such as Key (SHINee) and Winter (aespa) or whatever)

Stuff I won't write:

Gore (It's a hit or miss, but don't even try it)

Scat, vomit, that kind of stuff. (I can do pee or farts tho! I would happily write a fanfic about Minho's smelly farts! — fyi: this is an inside joke within the fandom)

An actual rape scene (I don't feel like I reached that level to write such thing.)

Nothing involving or suggests Dec 18th[/Jonghyun’s passing] (This also applies to other K-Pop idols such as Moonbin, Sulli, etc)

Just to let you know, I am open to any and all fandoms! If I don’t know a fandom I’ll be willing to take the time to do my homework and learn about it! I love making my people happy!

If you guys have any questions! Let me know!

♡ 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 𝕃𝕚𝕤𝕥 ♡

jjong sees a bbc for the first time (jonghyun x black m reader) (Jonghyun x Reader) (SHINee) (smut)

My attempt at making a jonghyun x black reader birthday sex imagine lol (Jonghyun x Reader) (SHINee) (smut)

jonghyun takes a massive shit (SHINee) (crack)

“POV: You accidentally took the weed with viagra and your 1 foot (12 inches) cock won’t go down” (Jonghyun x Reader) (SHINee) (crack + smut)

jjong gets the wrong footlong (Jonghyun x Reader) (SHINee) (crack + smut)

𝕚𝕕𝕜 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 (Niko x AJ) (Beta Squad) (smut)

𝕊𝕖𝕩𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕒𝕝 𝕓𝕖𝕕 (Jonghyun x Reader) (SHINee) (smut + fluff + angst)

shinee having sex with a bbc for the first time ✨💎 imagine 💎✨ (SHINee x Male Reader) (SHINee) (smut)

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 (Key x Pastor!Reader) (SHINee) (smut + angst)

𝓑𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓸𝓶𝓼𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮! (Taemin x Key) (SHINee) (smut)

ᴄᴜᴍᴛʀᴜᴄᴋᴡᴏʟ (SHINee x Shawol/Reader) (SHINee) (smut)

I have no title for this story lol (Key x Reader) (SHINee) (smut + fluff)

𝒟𝒶𝓎’𝓈 𝒪𝓊𝓉 (Onew x Reader x Jonghyun) (SHINee) (smut + fluff)

𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐩 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬 (Onew x Reader x Jonghyun) (SHINee) (smut + fluff + hurt + comfort)

(parings/ships)* (fandom/s)** (genre/s)***

♡ 𝔽𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕨𝕖𝕓𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕤 ♡

another weird stray kids short stories ❤️ / Weird A$$ Stray Kids Short Stories (with deleted stories/scenes) (K-Pop, Stray Kids)

Wattpad | AO3

SM Nation: FanFics Shorts (K-Pop, SHINee, NCT, TVXQ, Girls Generation (SNSD), Red Velvet, Aespa)

Wattpad | AO3

HYBE LABELS: Short Stories! (K-Pop, BTS, TOMORROW X TOGETHER (TXT), ENHYPEN, Newjeans, LESSERAFIRM, SEVENTEEN)

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5HINee one shots (Active) (K-Pop, SHINee)

Wattpad (EXCLUSIVE) | AO3

me and my stupid kpop x black lover book because why tf not (K-Pop)

Wattpad (EXCLUSIVE) | AO3

(fandom/s)*

♡ 𝕌𝕡𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 ♡

LaLune’s Secret (Jonghyun x OC — SHINee)

Wattpad | AO3 (No official release date)

Indigo/Tell me everything (Jonghyun x OC — SHINee)

Wattpad | AO3 (EXCLUSIVE) (No official release date)

a girl named layla (Jonghyun x OC — SHINee)

Wattpad | AO3 (No official release date)

(pairings/ships)* (fandom/s)**

dividers by @cafekitsune

[starry-eyed-svt]

mafia! moonbin x girlfriend! reader, he still not forgets about his girlfriend death, but you help him through all of his problems because you loves him. but he does not know that he can love you back or not. happy ending thank you!

I’m not writing this, but I can’t seem to delete it. It was sent in long before Moonbin passed away. By the time I came back around to writing I wanted a fresh start so I deleted all my asks but this one. I don’t want it to disappear so I’m going to just post it like this.

Rest in peace to the beautiful soul of our sweet Moonbin 💙

[kpoptrashlord-007]

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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷Brat Behaviour || Moonbin x F!Reader || Suggestive (1k)

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You Want To Study Abroad [Mafia!AU]

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If you enjoyed this, please consider liking, reblogging, and/or following! Thanks!

[seawitch62]

Yandere horror

Word count 555

                     Altar.

Gently the haven of sleep slowly evaporates, the conscious mind opens the floodgates of thoughts and images and senses awaken.

The hard cold surface on which her body is stretched upon is uncomfortable and unforgiving.

Her vision is blurred by red material covering  her face, her hands try to remove the fabric, something or someone is stopping her. Panic over takes, as she thrashes her arms and legs to free herself of this invisible hold. 

Slowly the chains of red silk sheets fall, her eyes seem to be in a state of perpetual mist, she can not focus. Closing them and opening them hoping this will

 help her vision adapt. 

Roses she smells, roses  the fragrance is sweet.

Candles, they are everywhere, flickering their shadows on the walls.

"Where am I?" she panics.

The room looks like it belongs in a gothic movie. Why can't I move? 

Slowly she propels herself to a sitting position. 'Dracula would be at home here!' She tells herself.

Through stained glass windows the full moon illuminates, night? What happened? I've lost hours?

I have to get out of here! Where exactly is  here?

Concrete? I'm laying on concrete?

Jumping down, she realizes it's an altar. 

Running towards the door, an exit  I have to escape. 

Her hand quickly turns the door knob, "you are awake, finally!".

"Moonbin?".

Shadowing the door frame, Moonbin, her ex, they dated briefly; she broke it off as she sensed something was not quite right.

Trying to run past him but to no avail, he swoops her up, throws her over his shoulder and carries her back to the altar. 

"Shadows chasing you my love? Only I caught you!".

"No more running time for you to accept your destiny".

"What are you talking about?" She asks, totally perplexed.

"You my lover, we are destined to be forever more".

"Your fucking crazy! Let me go!"

"No, my daffodil, stop fighting and accept your fate!".

"From this night forward you will see only me, obey only me, I alone will be your world".

"You will wear red lace dresses just for me, you will dance to entice only me!".

"Your body will love only me".

"Go to hell" she yells.

Moonbin looks at her and laughs, 

"baby, hell is my home".

Placing her once again on the altar, the red silk sheet covers her body.

From his waistcoat he retrieves a stopwatch, he sways it to and fro.

"Watch, my love, follow the watch".

Against her better judgement and not being able to summon the energy to fight she follows the watch.

His hypotonic voice and the steady flow of  swishing air, she does as she is bid.

Hypnotizing her with words of love.

—-Don’t need to hold on, while forgetting me

Why you runnin’ solo

The peak that seemed so far is just around the corner

Climbin’ up top, tell ’em who’s the newest ruler

Everything in this world from me

Drop the case, hide the word out on the street

Follow me, call me your love—

Singing in her ear as the watch moves left and right.

—-You won’t be able to escape woo-e-woo

Fall for me more and more deeply um—

Gazing at him love and admiration, she notices his eyes, they are black, totally void of any color.

Moonbin, her demon love.

[sxnshinebag]

ＡＳＴＲＯ   Ｍａｓｔｅｒｌｉｓｔ

Ｐａｒｋ   Ｊｉｎｗｏｏ

𝖭𝗈𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝖾𝗍. . .

Ｋｉｍ   Ｍｙｕｎｇｊｕｎ 

𝖭𝗈𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝖾𝗍. . .

Ｌｅｅ   Ｄｏｎｇｍｉｎ

𝙴𝚞𝚗𝚠𝚘𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝙰𝚠𝚊𝚢 [𝙴𝚞𝚗𝚠𝚘𝚘 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛]

𝘓𝘰𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮.

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳, 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥, 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘤, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘪𝘰. 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘣𝘪𝘰𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘴, 𝘵𝘰𝘰.  

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 2000𝘴, 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘈𝘐𝘔 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩.

𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘠/𝘕'𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴. 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩.

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 2000𝘴, 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘈𝘐𝘔 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘠/𝘕 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩   𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰, 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭. 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩.

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘠/𝘕'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘠/𝘕 𝘢𝘯𝘥  𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦-𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘫𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺?

(𝘾𝙖𝙣 𝙗𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙞𝙩𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛)

Ｍｏｏｎ   Ｂｉｎ

𝖭𝗈𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝖾𝗍. . .

Ｐａｒｋ   Ｍｉｎｈｙｕｋ

𝖭𝗈𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝖾𝗍. . .

Ｙｏｏｎ   Ｓａｎｈａ

𝖭𝗈𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝖾𝗍. . .

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

Blue Flame. (Alpha!Moonbin x You)

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Non-Con, Abo!verse, humiliation, degradation, exhibitionism, claiming, breeding kink, slapping, brat taming, knotting, size kink, fear kink. My content isn't for everyone so read at your own risk please.

He hated how the stupid little human girl with her foolish little friends patted their ways in the underground chamber, flashing LED torches right in his face disrespectfully. "There he is!" Y/n's chirp made Moonbin want to jump her right there when the rest of the girls stopped a few feet away but she approached him, giggling at him and patting his wet silver hair. "Daddy said his hair is real!"

"Woah, really?! How's that possible?!" One of her friends squeaked, looking at him in shock and awe, too afraid to come any closer.

"Well, we thought the existence of his specie was impossible too, didn't we?!" Her little eyes rolled as she acted like the smartass she was, pissing the chained up and wounded Moonbin off even more. Oh she was going to pay for this! He'd make sure of it!

"You're right…" The other girls spoke in unison, looking him up and down like he was a fucking museum piece.

"He's really p- pretty…" One of them admitted shyly, her cheeks pink. "I w- wish human guys were this pretty~" that seemed to make Y/n pout, causing her to huff and throw some water containing wolfsbane in his face, making him bite his lip and inaudibly curse, his back arching in agony as he refused to scream in front of such wreckless children.

Or so these adult girls acted. Spoiled, rich and disgusting little brats. That's what.

"You've a shitty taste in men, then!" Y/n crouched down to his level, staring at his face coldly before smacking his cheek as she spoke to her friend. "He's not pretty at all! Not even close!" She was digging herself a fucking grave here. "Anywyas… let's do what we came here to do…" Standing up to her short height, the human girl arrogantly stared down at the captured wolf, nudging him with her foot. "Puppy, show them your bark. Be a good boy now~" his blood boiled at the name as she pushed his wet hair away from his forehead, unfazed by his death glare because she knew he was too weak to break free. The silver chains would make sure of it.

Her father had given him to her as a present after they had done their research on him, chaining him up in the underground chamber of their mansion for their only child's entertainment.

"Fuck you." Was the only thing he growled back, trying not to give in. She was trying to piss him off on purpose. So his eyes would turn red, fangs would grow along his claws. It happened whenever he was angry. But his weak state bound by the chains and the ring of wolfsbane around him was hindering the process of his healing. He was an Alpha. This was plain embarrasing!

She treated him like some dog and a prized possession. He'd definitely showing her who the boss is once he gets out of here!

"Wrong answer." She shook her head and kicked his side where the wound caused by her father's arrow was, throwing some of the wolfsbane water on it and making him cry out. "Be a good boy, puppy. Don't go being all big and bad now. That's no way to go~" he was counting every minute and every second to the next full moon. This bitch was so dead.

It was exactly 2 days, 16 hours, 22 minutes and 56 seconds left.

Moonbin refused to answer her, only for her to keep torturing and disrespecting him until he couldn't take it anymore, ending up growling loud enough for the walls to vibrate, his teary eyes turning red. Since the Alpha was saving up his strength for the full moon, he couldn't use it to struggle and heal right now. He'd use it when the moon would double it, and then not even these pathetic little chains would be able to faze him.

"Good puppy~" Y/n giggled as she patted his head, standing up and kicking his side one last time before turning. "Had you behaved in the first place, I wouldn't have had to do that, tsk." Moonbin felt bad for her, almost. Because she was so oblivious and innocent. He wanted to laugh at the fool. Shaking his head slowly, the werewolf watched the human and her friends disappear into the darkness.

.

The moon was shining bright in the deep black night sky as a strong wind blew in the town, all the human residents oblivious of the inhuman pack approaching its way. They had tried to be harmless and unproblematic. But these damned humans just won't fucking leave them alone. Going as far as to wounding their Grand Alpha, disrespectfully imprisoning him like a dog and chaining him in their experimental chambers before selling it to the highest bidder who gifted it to his daughter.

They knew. All along. Their Alpha had been in contact with them through their mind link.

But they were all saving it for tonight. The night of the full moon.

Moonbin cracked his neck as he finally let his strength heal his wounds, the cut up skin spitting out the poison of the wolfsbane before closing shut, light silver fur growing on his human body as his teeth morphed into fangs, hands and feet turning into claws and eyes turning red as his frame got even wider and taller.

"Finally." He animalistically growled before jerking free from the chains, breaking them like pathetic little twigs. The man had reported the destruction of the experimental laboratories complete, causing a satisfied smirk to spread on his features. It was all in flames.

Now, he had only one thing left to do.

.

Y/n stepped out of the hot bathtub as she cut the conference call with her friends, drying her hair and body as she stared at herself in the mirror, pouting and making model like poses before smiling at how beautiful she was, her human ears not being able to detect the sounds of Moonbin grab his balcony railing after a long jump, having followed her scent all the way from the underground, slipping through the glass doors and creeping through the shadows in her room before reaching the bathroom.

"Surprise~" the girl's eyes widened in terror as she stared at the 8 feet tall creature behind her, his face way above her bathroom mirror as he chained her arms behind her nude back before she could even comprehend it. "Such a good whore. Having prepared herself for her Alpha." A shiver reverberated through her whole being as she recognised the chains. It was… the… puppy.

Or not.

"Tsk, cat got your tongue?" Moonbin smugly taunted as he threw her over his shoulder, racing out of the room and away from the mansion before Y/n started crying, laughing at her begs and shivering. She was so fucking tiny compared to him. Even his human form. It was perfect.

She'd be his little fuck hole and breeding pet.

.

Moonbin sat on his throne carved out of a huge stone as he sat between his pack, eyes trained on the human trembling in his laps, the clinking sound being caused by the chains around her feet and arms music to his ears as his huge hand toyed with her fat little cute ass cheeks.

"If we are not going to kill her or use her as a slave, what's the purpose of her being here, Grand Alpha?" Y/n was regretting her life decisions as the pack of huge creatures circled around her and Moonbin examined her tiny figure from afar in curiosity and interest, the hatred on their features painfully visible.

"We should beat her up! She's one of those disgusting creatures that disrespected our owner!" Another male wolf added in.

"Thinking she could own our ruler! Tsk! She should be thoroughly punished along with her kind!" Now a young female wolf growled.

"S- Sorry… I am sorry…" Was the only thing the only human could chant over and over, the cold breeze attacking her nude body. "I a- am so sorry…" She whispered, still in disbelief that this had happened.

"Now now, calm down, my fellow wolves." Moonbin raised the hand that wasn't playing with Y/n's squishy ass cheeks raised, posture relaxed as he landed a playful smack on her ass. "She is nothing but a pathetic little harmless child." When everyone groaned and growled in response, he continued. "We have managed to keep our existence a secret this time as well by destroying the humans' pathetic little laboratories. And I am back. So there's no need for further conflict. A war is only fair if the enemy is equal to you. Which these humans are not. I understand and respect your grief and anger. But as your ruler, it is my order to remain in your own territory and not pick a fight."

"Why did you bring that pathetic creature here, then, Grand Alpha?!" A female teenage Alpha looked Y/n's tiny body up and down in disgust. "She is too small to even serve as a servant."

"Ah, her?" Y/n's eyes widened when his fingers dug between her ass crack, fingers pushing up and down humiliatingly. "I don't know? I guess I just like her." Everyone laughed and cheered, causing the human to shut her eyes tightly from the humiliation. "Don't you think she will be a good little breeding pup? These humans like to experiment sooo much. It's only fair if we share the same curiosity about them." Everyone laughed again. "Who knows? Maybe my pups will cause their mommy to turn into an adorable little pup with a tiny tail and cute little ears and paws?"

It was a myth among them that if a human would give birth to a wolf's child, she would retain some of the DNA of their children and also turn into a wolf, although weaker than even an omega. More like a little puppy.

It had never been confirmed and Moonbin was willing to discover. The humans taught him that after all.

"N- No, p- please!" Y/n tried to struggle, only to have them all cackle at her.

"Do you think I care, my little pet?" His knot was painfully hard. It had been ever since he healed. That was how full moons were. And her beautiful little nude body wasn't helping. Since he didn't have a mate yet, the Grand Alpha would always take the herbal mixture made to suppress his heat before the night of the full moon. However, he hadn't been able to this time and now it was too late.

Mated werewolves fucked basically all night on full moons, their pheromones and heats all over the place due to the amplified strength. And Moonbin was having a hard time stopping himself now. When she was looking so delicious laid out all nude in front of him. It wasn't his fault, though. She'd done it to herself. Always driving him crazy with her little ass swaying side to side and sweet little scent overwhelming his senses silly no matter how hard he tried to hate her.

"You're so weak I can literally feel it through your skin…" Pushing her down against the ground, Moonbin pulled the chains around her feet off, easily peeling her legs apart as she tried to struggle but in vain, obviously. Her begs muted out along the cheers of the werewolves, the sight driving them to touching themselves and their mates too. He couldn't hear anything but his own accelerating heart beat and the delicious scent of her somehow leaking vagina.

"Maybe you like this deep down. Being all nude like this and laid under a dominating creature like this… huh?" Y/n shook her head as she cried at the sight of him unbuttoning his pants as he didn't have a shirt on to begin with.

“N- No… No p- please~” Y/n begged as she trembled, hands clasped behind her back as the male just now started to examine and eye fuck the frontier of her body. “I am s- sorry… I d- didn’t kn- know~” a low chuckle left him as his rough claws grazed around her body, squeezing her curves before softly pinching her nipples.

"Didn't know? Didn't know what, my pathetic little breeding pet?" His unclothed huge cock rubbed against the delicate inside of her thighs, lips hovering above hers. "That I am not the weak little 'puppy' you liked to refer to me as so much? Tsk." A deep chuckle full of mock left him as he kissed her wet lips and moaned at the taste, one of his hands creeping down to her pussy as he felt it up.

The girl whimpered in discomfort, cheeks red as she dared not close her legs, laying under him all vulnerable and exposed. "I- I am s- sorryyy~ P- Please forgive me, s- siiiiiir~" he loved how she unintentionally jutted her bottom lip out.

"Oh, but sorry isn't enough, my little pet" his hand hovered above her throat as he tried to figure which way he wanted to go first, too horny to think straight but also afraid to break her. "You've been suuuuch a naughty little girl" before he kissed her again, the air around them smelling of sex due to everyone else fucking. "I must fuck all that brattiness out of you." His mouth twisted into a grin as he shifted all his weight on an arm he settled above her head, the other one dipping in between her lips and going down her mouth and in her throat, Moonbin not breaking the intense eye contact with her as his now wet fingers poked against her vagina.

"P- Please~" the girl tried again, limbs trembling from the sudden invasion in her privates by the supernatural creature, his hot tongue suddenly licking at the sweat drops on her temples. "P- Plea-

"You taste so fucking sweet, shit." His balls pounded as his tip ached, abdomen desperate for release. "But you're too tiny for me to fuck right away" or he still wanted to take his sweet time torturing them both against the wishes of his own body. He liked how responsive she was. So beautiful. Trembling and moaning under him like this. "I don't want to rip your pretty little squishy pussy." Her mouth fell open as he pushed his index finger in, pumping it up and down her opening. "As you won't expand to accomadate me like an Omega or breedable wolf would."

Y/n had no idea what half of his words meant, the burn from his rough finger too much. She felt so hot even though it was a cold night. Her body was on fire and she was sweating gallons. The Alpha dipped his head in her neck and started peppering kisses along the delicate skin, adding another finger in her vagina and twisting them between her walls to get her to loosen up, sharp teeth grazing against the skin he was leaving the marks of his ownership against.

"Wow… you're so tight, my little slut." Moonbin's words were taunting as he kissed her deeply, pushing his tongue in and tasting every corner of her mouth, adding a third finger before gripping her jaw as she tried to move away. "It's like it is your first time?" His words were full of mock as he raised an eyebrow before slapping her face, deeply grunting. "Stop trying to fight and move. I don't allow you to."

"O- Ouuuch~" the sensitive human groaned weakly as her stimulated and hot ring of muscles opened up just enough to let the Alpha's thick and red tip in, a loud growl of satisfaction tumbling from Moonbin's lips as he shuddered, slowly peeling his fingers out and inserting the rest of the head in.

"It's unbelievable how a dirty little whore like you is this tight. I am surprised." His Alpha was going crazy. He wanted to ravish Y/n whole and fuck her the deepest he could. She looked so small and easy to break. Just a soft toy with the most perfect fuck hole. The human spirit was having a hard time fighting against the wolf spirit's sadistic likes. "But it's good. Or I'd have to punish you even more for letting someone else use my property."

A shudder went through her whole body due to just how animallistic his voice sounded. "Fuck!" Moonbin groaned again as he started to push his cock deeper and deeper in between her walls. "You're so closed up that it hurts… The way you're pulling my balls- shit!" The Alpha threw his head back and growled loudly, gripping the human's hair as he brought his fangs down in an instant, digging the sharp canines right in her soft skin, causing a loud scream out of her, the pleasure from it all almost pushing Moonbin off the edge.

It was done. The claim was placed. Y/n was destined to be Moonbin's now. She was the only one whom he could breed.

"P- Please… o- ow…" The girl felt something stir deep within her, her wound not hurting but rather sending shivers down her abdomen, an unintentional moan escaping her lips as she allowed him further access, having no idea what it meant.

"Aw… does my little fuck slut want more?" He taunted and smirked against her skin, leaving more love bites as his hips snapped harder and harder. "Look at my little breeding whore… Alllll stuffed with my cock…" Moonbin grazed his palm over her stomach where the shape of his cock was visible as well as feelable. "Are you even being forced, huh you nasty little spoilt brat?" His free hand smacked her boob, causing her to moan as the body part jiggled feverishly.

"P- Please!"

"Please what?" He was so close it was numbing his ears. "Harder?" Taunted the werewolf as he pulled out only to slam all the way back in. "Because that's what it sounds like to me…" His other hand was still feeling up the fat knot slamming in and out of Y/n's vagina, her eyes barely open as they rolled to the top of her head, body obediently taking the assault it was under.

Was he… right? Did she really enjoy this? A terrifying dominating creature fucking her open like this? Maybe this is what she wanted all along… For someone to put her in her place…

Her brain was too hazy to think straight, the claim bite interfering with her body functions.

Moonbin moaned loudly as he gripped her throat, squeezing it tight yet soft enough to not break her wind pipe or any other organ, having practiced his strength well over the years. "Am I still that little puppy, huh?" Before he noticed her droopy eyes and slapped her harshly. "Tell me, you little slut! Tell me as I fill your filthy cunt and womb with my puppies! Am I really that fucking puppy you liked to play with so much!" Landing another slap on her cheek, the Alpha let go of Y/n's throat as she was close to knocking out, gripping both her nipples tight and pinching hard as his overflowing cum was fucked harder and harder up her vagina.

"N- No! No, A- Alpha~" Y/n had no idea why she whimpered out that name as the man-wolf on top of her slowly started to calm down, her sweat coated body nuzzling against his as he stood up on his feet with a protective arm around her naked body with his cock still in her, twitching against her sensitive walls. "S- Sorry."

"Good pet. But I am not done with you just yet." He harshly whispered in her ear before kissing her forehead, walking away from the pack and approaching his small house to fuck his mate in until she was knocked out cold and filled with his puppies.

.

[sanhabbu]

Hiiii I would like to request a reaction where astro have a really cold and intimidating bad girl girlfriend who only is kind to them and always spoils them

hi, thank you for requesting !! i hope you like it ♡

→ astro reaction to their s/o being intimidating but soft with them

KIM MYUNG JUN (MJ) ｡*♡

he probably finds it funny, to be honest. the contrast in how you are with the rest of the world and when you are with him makes him feel another kind of special.

he makes the effort to make you laugh more and keep you always happy so even if other people finds you to be cold, he knows you are the kindest with the ones you love.

PARK JIN WOO (JINJIN) ｡*♡

very similar to mj, he knows the real you so he just smiles and shakes his head when people say you are this way. finds it very fun to be affectionate with you in public and see you get all flustered while trying to contain your smile.

LEE DONG MIN (EUNWOO) ｡*♡

the one who's so proud to be your only exception and barely can contain his excitement. no joke, he probably loves to wrap his arms around you while walking and kiss you at random times.

loves you the way you are and would never try to change you, 10/10.

MOON BIN (BIN) ｡*♡

was low-key nervous when you met because of the aura you had but once he got to know you, he realized you are one of the most adorable people he ever interacted with. another proud boyfriend, has the time of his life when people looks at the two of you surprised at the change in attitude you have around him.

PARK MIN HYUK (ROCKY) ｡*♡

knows what it feels like to be judged by your attitude so he never did the same to you. he patiently waited until you felt comfortable around him and can say proudly that he was right when he sees you being so kind and sweet with him. keeps his distance in public but is always holding your hand, it makes him the happiest.

YOON SAN HA (SANHA) ｡*♡

maybe it was a bit difficult for him to gather the courage to talk to you at first since you seem so cold and distant but still, he liked you so he did his best and look, you're together ever since. can't believe sometimes how cute you are with him and thinks you have a switch somewhere in your brain which activates only in public. head over heels kind of boyfriend.

[kittykat-25]

Not Alone - An S.Coups Story

Chapter Nine

Pairing: Seungcheol x F. Reader

Genre: strangers x friends x lovers, Hurt x Comfort, found family, seventeen being the best friends and brothers.

Synopsis: After begging the famous K-pop sensation S.Coups for help in the Seoul street market your life completely flips upside down, bringing you true friendship and a chance at true love.

Warnings:mentions of abuse, Mentions of Moonbin

A/N: This story is purely fiction. It talks about harsh things such as domestic violence, suicide and anxiety. This in no way represents the artist or their families. It is all made up

Gasping you sit up, a hand to your chest as your heart beats frantically. You rub your face, the images of your dreams littering your eyelids. Not nearly as bad as they have been at least. Sliding your slippers and a hoodie on you make your way into the kitchen and fill up the tea kettle. Your breathing slowly back to a normal al rate as you pour the tea into a cup; your hands shaking slightly still. You grabbed your phone and fuzzy blanket and made your way to the couch. Sipping the tea and scrolling you didn’t hear Seungkwan enter until he spoke, “are you okay y/n?” He said making you jump. “Yeah I’m sorry Kwannie did I wake you?” You responded making room beside you. Pouring himself some tea Seungkwan climbed under the blanket with you. “Nightmare?” You nodded, letting the steam from the mug fill your nose. “Not as bad as they have been but unsettling.” You let out a loose breath, “it’s just never ending, even though I got away I’m just as trapped as before.” Seungkwan wrapped an arm around you, settling against him you continued, “it’s always his face that I see, no matter how good a day I’m having he’s somewhere in my dreams. And I can never get away.” A tear was slipping down your cheek, brushing it away you leaned your head back. “It’s exhausting.” Seungkwan hummed in agreement. “It’s okay to not be okay all the time. Especially around us, we don’t expect you to have it all together. None of us do.” You chuckled, “you seem to have it together Kwan.” He sighed, “y/n-ah, I’m barely holding it together.” Leaning his head back beside yours, “ever since Bin passed, I am on the verge daily of just completely losing it.” You leaned more into him, “oh Kwannie I didn’t realize.” Patting your head he sat you both up, “how could you, Before this we only saw you occasionally. And I’m okay, it’s gotten easier to handle. Just know you’re not alone in this. You have me, and Scoupsssi. All the others. We all are here for whatever you need.” Feeling the tears in your eyes you set down your cup and threw your arms around his neck. Seungkwan hugged you back just as tight. “We’ve got you.” He said running a hand down your back. “I’ve got you too ya know.” You said with a small laugh. “Of course you do.” He responded, standing up and pulling you to your feet. “ let’s get some sleep.” You patted his back as you walked to your room, grateful for the wonderful men that had come into your life.

All that gratefulness left as Seungkwan came barreling back into your room a few hours later, “wake up we have plans today.” You threw a pillow at him, “come on y/n-ahhh we’re going out with Vernon today. A 98 line date day. Let’s go!!” He said chucking the pillow back at you. Groaning you rolled over, content to go back to sleep until his voice started singing, cancelling any hopes of peaceful slumber. Throwing the sheets back you pull yourself out of bed and into the hallway, “good morning jagi.” Jeonghan called from his bed. “How are you still sane with this?” You asked waving your having around. Jeonghan smiled before pulling ear plugs out of his ears. “You adapt, especially when Seokim and Soonyoung are here.” You laughed before waving g and walking into the kitchen. “Oh good you awake.” Seungkwan said as he handed you a cup of coffee. “How could I possibly sleep through that?” You muttered, closing your eyes you let the strong aroma of coffee surround you. “Where are we going today?” You asked while searching for a snack, “Garosu-gil, shopping district is the goal. Vernon will probably want to go somewhere else but you need more winter clothes.” You looked down at the old T-shirt of SCoups that you slept in. And his hoodie that you have been using. “I guess I didn’t grab any winter stuff when I fled.” You mumbled. “And that’s okay, we will find you new stuff! Now go get ready so we can leave.” He said leading you back down the hall. With a gentle nudge into your room he left you to get ready.

Vernon was trying not to stare as you and Seungkwan rambled about something he hadn’t listened to, far too focused on the fact that the group now had a Seungkwan clone. “You okay Vernon?” You asked noticing his blank stare. “You two could be twins ya know.” He saw the glancing between you too, “personality wise more than looks. It’s like we cloned Seungkwan but female version.” Seungkwans eyebrow’s raised, “you say it like it’s a bad thing. You’re lucky she’s funny and smart like me!” Vernon raised his hands in surrender, “you probably won’t live this one down.” You said quietly as you both trailed after Kwannie. “I heard that and no he won’t.” The oldest mentioned. Vernon rolled his eyes, “you get used to the dramatics.” “Ha Ive lived with Cheol for months. I can handle dramatics.” Vernon nodded along before you both were being pulled into another store by Seungkwan. “Look at this coat!” He said holding it up to you, “Kwannie I cannot afford this.” You said holding the price tag up. “SCoups can…” Vernon hummed from behind you. “No, I hate relying on his money. Or using it.” You said shaking your head, “we’ll just find another one.” Vernon watched you walk away before pulling out his phone snapping a photo and sending it to his leader. “Everyone likes gifts.” He said to his brother that just watched in amusement. “You adore her.” Seungkwan teased, “she’s like this adorable puppy. How can you not love her?” Vernon said exasperated. “I see why Scoups Hyung fell for her so hard.” He added, his eyes never leaving you as you walked through the store. “You should see how Jeonghan is with her. Babies her as much as he does Chan.” Seungkwan huffed. “Our new little sister, she’s going to have everyone wrapped around her finger by the time Scoups hyung gets home.” They both straightened as you came bouncing back towards them. “I’m in desperate need of coffee. On me since yall are helping me.” Seungkwan lead you through the door, “im never going to say no to coffee.” Vernon nodded in agreement, “there’s a good coffee shop up here.” He said pointing towards a sign. In the busy streets, you had been put between the two men. People shuffling around you didn’t notice you had someone in else in front of you until you ran into them, muttering a quick apology you looked around, having lost Seungkwan in the midst of shoppers. “Y/n-ah are you okay?” Vernon asked quietly, now beside you making you jump, “Yeah just lost Kwannie.” You kept looking around, “let’s keep going.” Vernon said noticing you now shaking, pulling you tighter to him and pushing through the crowds. Too focused to notice the man you had bumped into glaring at your retreating form. “There you are.” Your ex muttered before following after you and Vernon.

Letting Vernon pull you into the coffee shop you are immediately engulfed in a hug, “kwan give her a minute.” Vernon said. Seungkwan loosened his grip, but holding your hands in front of you while Vernon rubbed your back. “I’m alright just got frazzled when I couldn’t see either of you.” You said after a deep breath. “I was right behind you, I didn’t leave you.” Vernon said leading you all over to a booth. “Yah!! I didn’t mean to leave, I thought she was behind me.” Seungkwan defended. “It’s not anyones fault, I just got distracted and wasn’t paying attention it’s on me. But I’m alright.” Vernon nodded before gathering coffee orders and walking to the counter, “I don’t even remember losing you in the crowd.” You mumbled. “It’s alright I’m sure very distracting thoughts of Scoups Hyung were going on in your head.” Seungkwan teased, tapping your hand. “What?!” You whispered, “Coups? What are you on Kwannie?” Seungkwan gave you a look of pure amusement. “Y/n-ah, we all see you two together. It’s okay to admit it.” Vernon set the coffees down, “admit what?” He asked sitting beside you. “That she likes Scoups hyung.” Seungkwan said handing you a straw, “I do not. And he doesn’t like me. We’re just friends.” You stammered. “He so does like you, he’s been so down bad since the day you met.” Vernon chuckled. You stood there mouth open, “come on y/n, you sleep in his bed every night and the man literally worships the ground you walk on.” Seungkwan continued. “Really?” You said your cheeks turning pink. “Ha you’re blushing. You do like him!” Vernon all but yelled, “Vernon!! Hush!” You swatted at his arm, “easy tiger.” He said patting your head. All three of you were so caught up in this revelation none of you saw your ex sitting in the back corner watching everything unfold.

An hour later after all the teasing was out of the way the three of you got up to leave, following Seungkwan out the door you turned; eyes snagging on a man with his head down reading. Something about him being familiar but not being able to place it you shrugged and kept walking. Vernon noticing your look turned towards the man who was now staring after you. Vernon stared him down but followed after the two of you quickly, not happy with the way the man was watching you walk away. You made your way back to the apartment complex, happy to lay down and not move anymore today. “You look dead on your feet.” Kwan said nudging your arm, making you stumble. “I’m exhausted.” You moaned struggling to keep up with the two men. “We should get you in the gym.” He retorted, “don’t do that to her.” Vernon responded before pulling you to a stop. “Here.” He said stopping in front of you, crouching slightly. You hopped onto his back and sighed, the weight off your feet bringing blissful tears to your eyes. “Vernon you are the best.” He pats your calf in response as you tighten your grip, “I won’t drop you. Don’t worry.” He chuckled. You patted his head, “I know I trust you.” Seungkwan smiled walking behind taking pictures of the two of you for Scoups. He could only imagine the blush creeping up Vernon’s neck at the endearing statement.

You were asleep on Vernon’s back by the time they reached the apartment, Seungkwan quietly making his way through the apartment as to not wake you. “Yah you’re home late!” Jeonghan called from his room, “shhhhh!!” The two younger men hissed, Jeonghan came out of his room to scold them and found you asleep on Vernon’s back. “Please don’t wake her up.” Vernon said walking so carefully to not jostle you. Jeonghan smiled at them before nodding and heading back into his room. Coming into your temporary room Vernon had no clue how to safely get you into the bed without waking you up. “Here” Kwan said reaching towards you, “y/n-ah. We’re home.” He spoke gently. you groaned and barely opened your eyes before unhooking your legs and letting Seungkwan pull you off his brother. Laying you gently in the bed the boys covered you with the sheets. “Goodnight Angel. Come get me if you need me.” Kwannie whispered turning the light back off. He shot a text to SCoups letting him know they were all home safely before crashing on the couch with Vernon and Jeonghan. “How was she today?” Jeonghan asked watching the door, as if he was waiting for you to need him. “It was good, she lost me in a crowd and panicked a bit but Vernon was with her. She just didn’t see him.” Seungkwan answered, Vernon nodding along. “This guy at the coffee shop was staring at her which I wasn’t fond of but she didn’t seem to notice.” Vernon mumbled. “Staring at y/n?” Jeonghan asked, turning his eyes away from the hall into Vernon. “Yeah when we were leaving, she stopped for a second and looked at him and the kept going and when I looked over he was staring her down. I figured he was staring at Kwannie but he was focused on her.” He explained. “Mhm maybe it was the fact a girl with us that he staring at. Dispatch or something.” Seungkwan interjected.

The other guys nodded, silent for a beat before Jeonghans phone started ringing. Scoups name ran across the screen, “scoupssiii!” They rang out, “shhh.” Vernon hissed nodding towards your room. “Sorry your girls asleep and we don’t want to wake her.” Jeonghan explained. “How is she?” Scoups asked, Seungkwan chuckled at the mere adoration in his leaders voice. “She’s as good as she was twenty minutes ago when I was talking to you.” SCoups huffed into the phone the same time a sharpe cry came from your room. All the men froze, “y/n” Scoups called. Jeonghan could hear you thrashing around the bed, “Hyung what do we do?” Vernon asked, his eyes flitting between your room and the phone. “Hannie go in there if the doors open.” Scoups said, panic now infused in his voice, his pacing footsteps in tune with their padding down the hall. “Y/n-ah.” Jeonghan called into the darkness. You groaned in your sleep, “please” you sobbed. Your pillow soaked with tears that had fallen. Jeonghan made his way to the bed and brushed your hair away from your eyes lightly. “Y/n-ah, little Choi. Are you okay?” You flinched at his hand making contact, making him pause. “Y/n, my pretty girl can you hear me?” Scoups said softly through the phone, “y/n, you’re alright. Your safe. We’ve got you baby.” Scoups voice seemed to calm down the trashing, “keep talking to her.” Vernon whispered. “About what?!” Scoups said through the phone. You whimper, curling around yourself in the bed, “Scoupssi. Talk to her.” Jeonghan hissed, tears threatening to fall from his eyes as well. “Y/n I found the prettiest necklace today and it made me think of you so I bought it. I can’t wait to give it to you. Kkuma misses you so much, it’s only been a day and I think she’s sick of me and wants you.” Cheol said with a laugh, “who knew she wanted a mom more than her dad. My two girls, I’m happy she loves you so much. I’ll FaceTime you when you wake up so you can see her and I can see you. Pictures aren’t enough pretty girl, I’ll be clingy but seeing your face everyday is a requirement now.” Scoups rambled, happy he wasn’t on FaceTime for his members to see him cry. Seungkwan swipped his own tears away as Scoups voice calmed you down.

Scoups talked to you until you were back in a deep sleep, visibly calmer. “Text me when she wakes up in the morning please.” Scpups asked. “She works tomorrow but I’ll be up when she leaves.” Seungkwan replied. “Make sure she eats breakfast and takes lunch, her companies food always makes her feel sick but she forgets to take stuff.” Their leader mentioned, “we’ve got her Scoupssi.” Jeonghan said chuckling. Scoups sighed, saying his goodbyes and reminding them again to watch out for her before hanging up. Jeonghan immediately placed another call, “mingyu-ah can you whip up some food for y/n’s lunches this week? Our girl has a habit of forgetting food it seems.” Mingyu agreed excitedly and an hour later was at their door with a week’s worth of lunches. “Scoups said these were her favorite foods and I added extra protein and some side dishes.” He said setting everything in the fridge. He stepped back grinning, “tell her I said your welcome and to let me know how it taste.” Jeonghan was about to answer when the sound of soft feet coming down the hallway alerted them. Jeonghan peeped around the corner, “jagi what are you doing up? Are you okay?” He cooed at you. Barely awake, wrapped in a blanket, only your sock covered feet and head were visible. “Is cheollie here? I swear I heard his voice.” You mumbled. “He was on the phone, I’ll call him for you.” Jeonghan replied, you shook your head. “I’ll call him but thanks Hannie. Hi Mingyu.” You spoke to the taller man. “I brought you food!” He said practically bouncing with excitement. “What! Why?” You asked waddling into the kitchen, Mingyu throwing open the fridge to show you the meals. Listening to him explain each one, your eyes filled with tears. “You made all of it for me?” You asked sniffling. Mingyu nodded started to speak when you hugged him. He looked panicked for a moment before laughing and hugging you back tightly. “Can’t have our little sister going hungry at work.” He said patting your back. You mumbled a thank you that got lost in the massiveness that was Kim Mingyu. Giving the rest of the men hugs you padded back to your room to call Cheol. Missing the giddy smiles being exchanged.

A/N: trying to find cute moments for each member to interact with the reader has been my favorite part of this story so far🥹

[milkybonya]

K-101

Warnings: a bit suggestive?

Pairing: Boyfriend!Moonbin x (gn)reader who has never kissed before

Summary: where Moonbin teaches you how to kiss :")

[a/n]: i blame my friend who keeps sending me Moonbin content but i've been so ♡_♡ for Moonbin lately and AH also im sorry this moodboard or whatever is shit ahh pls dont hate me <3 also i'm still not home yet/don't have stable wifi but i miss writing so much that i had to quickly make this and get it out ahhhh i'll be back next week!!!!!! ily all!

"You've never kissed before?" Moonbin asks you, staring up at you through his thin, black frames, his hair a mess. You reach out to run your fingers through it, hoping it will ease your nervousness.

"Yeah... never," you almost whisper.

Moonbin shrivels up under your touch and he smiles, his teeth peeking out as he places his hand on top of yours, the one that sits on his head.

"Do you want me to teach you?"

"How will you do that?"

He gives you a toothy grin.

"By kissing you, duh."

You shiver at the thought. After always wondering what it feels like to press your lips against the lips of another person... you'll finally get to experience it yourself?

Noticing you've gone quiet, Moonbin speaks up.

"Are you scared? We don't have to-"

"No! I want to."

"Okay... well... I'm not sure how to begin this," Moonbin admits, scratching the back of his neck.

"Like this?"

You grab him by the collar of his white tee and pull him in, pressing your lips onto... his teeth? Moonbin laughs hard when you pull away, his eyes squeezing tightly shut. He was already giggly when you tried to kiss him, but now he's dying of laughter.

"What was that?" Moonbin wheezes.

"Don't make fun of me!" you whine, "it's your fault you were grinning when I pulled you in so my lips hit your teeth!"

"Okay, baby, okay, don't be sad," Moonbin says, gently patting your head while still laughing.

"I think this is what you were trying to do."

He slowly leans in, tilting his head and smiling slightly as he watches you close your eyes and ever so slightly pout your lips in anticipation. His lips feel soft and warm against yours, and you feel excitement stirring within you until he pulls away.

"Why do you look so sad?!" Moonbin laughs.

"Is that it? I thought it was gonna last longer!" you complain.

"Well.. some kisses are short. And some are long."

"I thought you're supposed to use your tongue or something," you mumble, sticking your tongue out and wiggling it around.

"Ew... well yes, but only sometimes," Moonbin explains.

He quietly looks at you for a moment before asking, "am I allowed to show you?"

When you nod, he carefully holds the back of your head with one hand and cups your cheek with the other as he pulls in, opening his mouth this time. It's a strange feeling at first, but butterflies begin to stir within you as he kisses you more deeply.

After pulling away, Moonbin wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, a dazed expression on his face.

"Wait... this means I'm your first kiss, right?"

You nod, feeling a little shy under his loving gaze.

"Well... how was it?" he asks you, taking your hands in his and playing with your fingers.

"Too short," you joke.

Moonbin suddenly tackles you down onto the bed you were both sitting on, burying his face in your shoulder and playfully poking at your sides.

"I didn't know you would be such a kissing maniac," he teases you.

"I guess it's only cause you're a good kisser," you reply.

[jjeongsa]

boyfriend texts | [astro] moonbin.

hello! it's my first time writing for astro :< i love moonbin he's just so WOW. i hope you like it <3

feel free to send a request through my asks!

[appleteez]

Hi, from the smut prompt list number 14 and Astro Moonbin please 😊

a/n: this is my first astro writing ever~ I hope you like it 🥺

14. “You’re my best friend, we can’t do tha—“

Genre: suggestive

“Why are you like that today?” I whine as Moonbin would not leave me alone. His hands were all over me and his giggle resonating in the room while I was trying to watch my series. “Please, this is an important part.”

“Give me attention pleeaaase~” He giggles as he tries to pull me closer to him. “When you said I could come over, I was expecting us to play together come on~”

“Ok fine!” I pause the TV. “One game then you let me watch my show.”

“Ok, let’s play.. mhh the “I love you” game.”

“What?”

“”I love you” game.” I sigh not believing that he made me pause my show so we could stare at each other while saying “I love you”.

“Ok fine, you start.” I turn myself so I can properly sit in front of him and he does the same.

“I love you~” He says with a very sincere voice, and for some reason I almost crack up. I contain my smile and bring my serious face on.

“Moonbin, I love you..”

“That was hot.”

“What?” He starts to giggle and leans in towards me. I lean back until my back hits the couch and he’s towering me.

“I didn’t know you could say such words in such a hot way.”

“I just said mhh..” I moan cut myself when his knee accidentally rubs against my heat. He looks down surprised by the sound I just made then realized what happened. He looks back up then smiles again.

“Wouah.. did you really just make that noise Y/N?” He teases getting dangerously close to me.

“Moobin.. You’re my best friend, we can’t do tha—“ His lips cut me off and I quickly forget what I was about to say when I lose myself in the kiss. His knee starts to grind against my heat and a series of moans come out of my mouth.

“Who would have thought that my cute best friend would make such lewd noises..” He says in a heavy voice, and as I look down, I could see a bulge forming in his sweatpants.