#Mum has a work thing and I'm only going bc we're meeting up with some relatives on one of the days which will be really nice

[racingliners]

Trying to plan my trip to London next month even though we're only going to be in the city for two-ish days

[january31st]

In coming and going... (Pt.1)

Cruella (2021) x reader

This is a request from the lovely @cosmicbrownies7 “a cruella fic where she’s obsessed with the reader since the reader has been with her since they were little. And after Cruellas success the reader tries to leave but cruella won’t “let” her. Or something along those lines.”

yes i had fun procrastinating and making this cover, now look at it.

A/N: I’ve already apologised a thousand times for how long it’s taken, but thank you for your patience as well as everyone who’s been waiting for me to drop something. Here it is! This is the first half of this fic, the second half is coming very, very soon, I promise, and it is considerably longer than this one. Also, I might have gone off the request a bit, but this was what I managed to come up with.

Uni has been keeping me busy and mentally unstable, as it does, and the holidays never fail to make me spiral, followed by the adorable, cute and lovely exam season for which I can only seem to be able to blink and breathe, AnD! to make things better right in the middle of exam season (had 2/4 exams done) MY ROOMMATE GOT COVID :') I'm still negative and I've switched rooms but we're always together so I do believe it's just the incubation period. fun! today i'm missing an exam that i'll take on the 18th feb instead (considering that my classes start on the 21st…..) and on monday i have calc (for which i am utterly lost and I have to study bc i've failed a subject already but I still don't know if I'm positive and get to miss it or if I have to take it on monday kdjjdksksdj). life rant aside, that is why things. yes. the tiny amounts of time i've had to write have been like little nuggets of sanity, so i very much enjoyed writing it, and very much hope you enjoy reading it <3

warnings: parent death, generally traumatic childhood, yall know me, i don’t do cute backstories. let me know if there's anything else i should add.

|| Masterlist || ... who have you become? || Wattpad Link || AO3 Link ||

~3000 words

Knowing her past, of course it pained you to have to leave, just like everyone else did in her life, and unfortunately that included you, all those years ago, twice. And now you sat here contemplating your options, and leaving again was the most likely outcome.

Third time would be the charm, she thought, and you knew it, you could tell by the sparkle in her eye and the way she held your hand. Her grip on you was always tight, and it got tighter every time you went away and came back.

It's destiny, she would argue. It's fate, that the two of you should meet again and again. But you knew it to be a coincidence, you knew you would always come back to London, even if for a short time, just like now. You had to be rational, since her feelings would always cloud reality. Because your own feelings couldn't mean that much. Of course you liked her, of course you cared about her, but you couldn't let her mean too much to you. As kids it didn't matter much. Later on things got a bit more complicated.

Your own mum worked at the bakery near where Estella and her mum lived, so, in your free time as a little kid (which was basically all of your time) you would go play with her on the street, in her house, in the kitchens of the bakery. Making clothes, drawing each other, and doing all the things kids do.

And of course time could not allow that to go on forever, so the tragic day came.

You didn't know the details of it, and you never cared much to do your research, because thinking too much about it felt like torture to you. But you knew that one day your mum died in an accident at the bakery, something about getting crushed after some of the heavier supplies fell down.

And then you were left to the world.

You could have stayed, you knew in your heart that Katherine would have taken you in, you could have lived with them, but you didn't really have much of a choice.

The orphanage came for you that very day, your mum's employers at the bakery knew that your dad was completely out of the picture, so they reported the issue right away.

You were little, you didn't know anything else. And it wouldn't be until you were both fifteen that you would find Estella again.

Well, let's say that she found you.

Or, Jasper did.

You had been rather unfortunate with your foster families. You weren't a particularly troublesome kid, in fact, you'd like to believe that you were perfectly normal. But your first family consisted of a drunk couple who wanted the money from child support. The second one was almost the same, only worse. They weren't drunks, they were drug addicts. And the years in between consisted of this unlucky sorting of families, until you ran away at last, now fifteen, and found yourself in London somehow, face to face with this boy who tried to steal a little plushie that used to be a pin cushion for sewing, and that you wore dangling from your backpack's zipper.

Jasper thought your watchful eye would be useful to them, since no one else had ever realised they stole something, and he also spotted right on that you didn't really have a family to go home to. So in his mind he offered his family, and his home, but he offered much more without even knowing. A couple hours later you would meet a red haired girl who claimed that she had a plushie like that as a kid. You told her a childhood friend gave it to you, her name was Estella. And that was when the two of you realised that you did know eachother, and even now, after all the time that passed, she never forgot that you kept the stupid plushie.

That was one of the days you would never forget. Finding her again. The way her face lit up and the way it felt to you, no longer being alone in the world. You took your time to study her, the way she had changed, or just grown, essentially, as you knew you had too, just not quite as much as her this time. Both of you explained what life had been like for the past few years, her story flowing out with the addition of your own tears. It warmed your heart that you had found her, it was a relief, a feeling of returning home, though you’d barely known what that word meant at all, but it also broke your heart to know what had happened to her mum, and to know (to know! oh you knew it too well) what she had to live through.

And you loved her, from her box dyed red hair, to her smudged eyeliner, to those small habits she shared with the boys, but you also loved how she was exactly the same person you had to leave before. With her gentle heart and caring soul, and how she always made sure you felt safe, and always listened to your rants about society and general social critique. You knew she got defensive sometimes, but never with you. All the trouble she had made in school seemed perfectly reasonable since you knew who she was in her heart.

☽◯☾

The four of you lived along like this for almost two years. Passing each day through your little robberies. Jasper and Horace would roam the streets to see what places would be more profitable, getting Wink to sniff out small entrances to places, as you and Estella poured over the outfits. When the four of you were together, there wouldn't be a moment of quiet, each joke coming after the previous in rapid fire, reenacting the day's job, the warehouse was alive with laughter.

But you and Estella? There was no need for talking. You worked to the sound of whatever vinyl you'd stolen last, both of you too focused on your tasks to even bother with exchanging useless words. The right glance was all it took, and whatever the message was, it would be received. But it wasn’t always silence filling the room, because when you weren’t working there was plenty to talk about, how both of you viewed the world and wanted it to change, and that was something else you agreed on completely. Polite society was too dull, and it seemed a waste to just follow the rules when they did more harm than good. Making up your own rules always felt right, because you were kids, and there wasn’t much to keep you from it (how terrible it is that it all had to change- again).

And she stuck to her rules religiously, always had the plan in mind, she knew where she would look and what way to turn to. You worked best by feeling out the atmosphere, reading the people around you, observing their moves. You spent nights upon nights thinking about how she felt when you had to leave again. How she must hate you. You could have just followed the plan, any damn plan, and nothing would have happened that day. Did she even have any idea of why you left? Well she had to, she's the smartest person you've ever met! You were left with no choice but to swear to never see those three again.

Estella was always cautious about sticking to a good plan. The days before a big hit she would stay at home and study the place, think about all the outcomes. Jasper used to lend her some of his wisdom too, sketching out different paths to run off, debating what time was best to strike. Horace did sit around as well, suggesting things none of us could ever come up with, because he always had his mind on what Wink and Buddy could do. But you got stressed out looking at their maps and schedules and lists of things to do. And that was okay, because you were more of a hawk on the spots, quick to tell when something was off and when it was time to go. You were best at looking out, keeping your sacred watch as they did their craft.

Each day after the heists you would go out on your walk, check people out, get your news, eavesdrop on what gossip was going around town. It was how you kept your mind going, by keeping on the move as well. On most days you would bring one or both of the dogs with you, sometimes getting one of the boys to come as well.

She wasn't much of a walker, she had better things to do. When she did though, it was the fountain at Regent's park that she would always go to. And it pained you to know why. To know that someone as lovely as Estella had to live through something that terrible.

The two of you shared a room, with two beds on either side of the big table that was always cluttered with sewing supplies and magazine cutouts. On the chill nights when there was nothing to plan, the boys watched TV and you two spent your alone time doing all sorts of things. Playing cards, drawing things, talking about the most recent fashion show. Sometimes you'd be reading in your bed, lying to one side as you waited for sleep to catch on earlier than usual, and she would come up behind you, spooning you to try to get a glance at your book. She always fell asleep faster when she was next to you, and you would put the book down and follow after her, matching your breathing to the one you felt on your back.

Whenever either of you would have nightmares you knew you could join the other, despite the bed being too small. You would hold on to each other to keep you from falling off, her head on your chest, your legs tangled together.

You never thought much of it because it just felt right. Of course you wouldn’t mind her closeness. Her skin was soft and her perfume was sweet, fruit-like. Her embrace made you feel safe and content. Things stayed this way for those two years. To you this life was perfect, there was no need to change it because there was nothing complicated about it. Not the way you felt nor the way your days passed. But that was to you of course. And in your childish oblivion- more of a purposeful blindness really- both the boys and Estella felt this way as well.

While that might have been the case for Jasper and Horace, it wasn’t for Estella. She’d always been ambitious. And you couldn’t argue that she didn’t have the right to be either. Not with all her talent. But then there was the part you didn’t understand at first. Not until the day you left.

It had never occurred to you that a girl could feel that way about another girl, and it had certainly not occurred to you that she could feel that way about you. Or that what you felt for her, the way you never felt for any guy, could be that.

And it wasn’t until the day you left that you realised.

That day had started off as usual. A chaotic morning of getting ready, everyone getting dressed with their costume, yelling back and forth, disputing the one bathroom you all shared. A rushed breakfast as was also usual, Horace running after Wink with his crispies in hand, Jasper leaning on the kitchen counter with his tea, reading the news as his toast lay forgotten, you with your sandwich.

“Jasper, your toast is getting cold, don’t forget it.” you said to him as you went to wash your dishes.

Estella was still adjusting something, like she always did, a perfectionist through and through. You followed her into the “planning” room on the floor above with an apple in hand, like you always did.

“How many times do I have to tell you to not skip breakfast? We won’t be done with this one for a couple hours.” you said to her, tossing the apple her way when she looked at you from behind the mannequin.

“You worry too much darling. We’ll be having lunch at that nice restaurant today, we should get enough from our work to go there.” she said to you, smiling widely before taking a bite of the apple, then keeping it in her mouth as she resumed her task.

“I worry too much? Yeah, tell me about it” you said while laughing, and she answered with a furrow of her brows.

You had started to leave for the elevator, but then you felt the urge to look at her again. She looked a lot more stressed than usual.

“Is it because it’s the fancy watch store?”

“What?” she said, putting the apple down on a table.

“You’ve been messing with the cuffs on that shirt forever. You never second-guess your cuffs.”

“Well it’s because it’s satin. This one’s more slippery than usual” she answered without looking at you.

You stepped closer to her, taking her hands into yours to keep her from unpinning those cuffs again.

“It’s going to go just fine. Like it always does. This one’s just a bit more luxurious than usual, but nothing we haven’t done before”

She looked to the side as she huffed in frustration “But this one has a Police station right outside”

“We’ve done that too!”

“I don’t know, I just have a weird feeling about today.”

“The plan you guys came up with is just as good as the ones before, it’ll be fine!” you whispered the last part, tugging on her hand so she would look at you. Her jade eyes fixed on yours before she hugged you like she knew it would be the last time. Tight and long, and you hugged her back, naive as you were. Eventually she started to let go, only to stop and touch her forehead to yours. Your arms were around her waist, and hers had rested around your shoulders before she put one hand over your collarbone, and cupped your head with the other, just behind your ear. And then she leaned in to kiss you. Shy and sweet, her lips barely touched yours before Jasper shouted from underneath, making you two separate at once.

“Girls we should leave in five”

You looked at her, surprise etched all over your face, and she grabbed the apple and made for the elevator, not looking at you at all while it descended.

Then all of you left for the store, separating a couple streets before getting there. You would be the first to get in and the last to leave. Then Estella and Horace, and Jasper at last.

You'd barely paid attention to where you were walking, it was impossible with all those thoughts on your mind. If you hadn't slammed head first into some lady on the street you would have just kept on walking, not realising you'd missed the store already. You turned back around and got into the store, taking your sunglasses off as you did.

You tried very hard to keep a cool appearance, but distress was all you could convey. At this hour, the store was it's busiest, since it would be easier to get things done in the chaos. You tried to melt into the crowd until Estella and Horace walked in, their arms linked together.

You looked everywhere but at them. That was probably one of the reasons why everything went to shit. That and the fact that the Police saw you slam into the woman before getting in, they had an eye on you already.

They went on with the plan, started to talk to an employee the moment Jasper walked in. As Estella said her lines, as convincing as always, Jasper bumped into people to get their wallets, stole things from displays and what-not.

"Well, my husband here came to buy this watch the other day, but I just don't think it matches his eyes. I would very much like to see other options." she said.

You pretended to study a particularly ugly watch, just because it was the one that was displayed with the clearest view to where the pair of them stood.

"Oh absolutely not, that is the ugliest thing I've ever seen." and she went on, saying every watch was ugly, or wouldn't go well with his complexion, buying Jasper the time he needed for the employee to be distracted.

As it was getting time to leave Jasper went to you, as planned, dropped his findings onto your open bag and left. Estella said her last lines, ending the show with a banger.

"Well honey, you picked the lousiest watch store in England, I'm afraid this won't do."

"Ma'am, this company has been selling watches for nearly three centuries! We make watches for the royal family! There isn't any other company with comparable quality!" said the employee, offended.

"I'm afraid that the royal family's standards might be shamefully low. Now, I would like the money back for this watch. We are not keeping it, I might be ill if I have to look at it again."

And the employee begrudgingly gave them the money, so upset that there was no opportunity to check that the watch was real at all, and not a replica.

They left with no troubles, the mission had gone perfectly smoothly until then. And besides your twitchy behaviour, nothing else would have gone wrong if you hadn't messed up at the last moment.

You were forced to run. And so you did. It wouldn’t be until a few years later, under different names, that you would find her again.

|| Masterlist || ... who have you become? || Wattpad Link || AO3 Link ||

if you want to be tagged for part 2 or future works please let me know!(and tell me which) please don't forget to eat and drink water, and stay safe :)

[kyunsies]

Hello Mädch ahsdjaksdh <3 !!

how is college going? dw, I hope you are settling in super well and feeling optimistic about school and all the amazing things I know you are going to achieve this year! I am excited that you are starting your rotations now! you are going to do awesome, I know it! I'm sorry that you didn't get that ICU first like you wanted but hopefully it's all part of the plan so that you get it at the right time for you <3 let me know how they go, of course. I hope they go super well.

the week has been a bit weird to be honest, in my team I had a semi argument that was properly tense for the first time with someone and it was just so unpleasant. you know those people where they aren't horrible but you know that you'll never completely see eye to eye with them? i think it's just one of those things, where we'll never just completely read each other or get each other? and it's not, like, a massive issue or anything that we can't deal with, but I feel like usually I get on really well with people or not at all (all or nothing person I guess haha) but with this person I've just got to admit that we're always going to be a bit in the middle? like, we talked it over, and I've still found sometimes we misunderstand one another? so things are still good in work and clients, but with workpeople it has been the more difficult battle? hopefully we should get some more cool media stuff with the K-pop people soon, so that's an up?

OMGsh your coworkers are so much older than you! [lease do post a picture of your room, I am 100% confident that you have made it so dreamy and pretty. Thank you sm for telling me more about these operations though! I feel like everywhere is on red alert at the moment when it comes to health and care and making sure that people look after themselves and not put others at risk, you know? the doctors that to talk to me about my potential surgeries too have said the same but it's nice hearing it from a friend, you know? so thank youuuu <3 <3

I was the same as you, I would get so so so anxious and stressed if I wasn't studying or working or anything like that? but my mum is like your mum and grandma, where she gets up early too! but I feel like I need to do the late night thing instead? but then once I got into this crazy spiral where I would wake up really early and go to bed really late and like nap in between so I ended up like having two hours of sleep either side? that was peak wth at the time haha XD so now I try and let myself wake up a bit later really XD ha ha I'm in barely adulting! like I work so much but I don't earn a lot ha ha – I don't think that's very effective adulting? or like, I don't know I guess for a lot of people my age there's a work hard and hope it pays off thing in certain industries? so you're definitely more effectively adulting than me right now! like, you're going to do stuff that's gonna actively help people and you'll see that right in front of you, you know!!? sometimes my work gets out there but I rarely see directly if it gets to make peoples lives better you know? so the path you're on is so so admirable <3 <3 <3

I get you though, do you find that you thrive under the pressure even though it's sometimes a lot? I find that sometimes it does help me, but sometimes I forget to identify the times when it isn't helping me? or, sometimes I take it too far? so please look out for yourself and take care of yourself <3 and when you're worried if you're on the edge know that it's enough for you to take a rest and not be super perfect. i sometimes tell myself to except that I'm probably gonna make two or three stupid mistakes a day? It sounds kind of silly but it means that it makes it easier for me to accept when I mess up, idk, I think it helps me balance the pressure sometimes? i 100% understand what you're saying - at school do they have people that can directly help? or like peer supporters so it's not as stressful or official feeling as a therapist? if you ever want me to come off anon to help lemme know <3 i'm always here for you <3

oh my gosh your grandparents have been able to live long too! all my grandparents lived close to 100 before passing, and one of my grandmothers had the same as your grandfather. he sounds so sweet and so kind though! i love that he knows how to FaceTime you! Some of my aunts and uncles still don't properly haha. it sounds like he knows that he's super loved though, he's very lucky <3 <3 i've been thinking about all this really lovely stuff and how it grounds you when stuff like careers can stress you out and feel like the most important thing when it shouldn't be? what are the personality differences between the different areas of the US? my East Coast friends seem to straight talk a lot more than my West Coast friends? like they're a lot more realistic as opposed to being, I don't know laid-back or if not laid-back sometimes just more comfortable with superficial stuff? Not like my West Coast friends are superficial people, but I think they accept it as part of the world a bit better? my friends on the east coast will rail against that stuff a lot more, like they buy into the influencer bullshit less? but I guess these are all sweeping generalisations anyway... I might have to travel a bit in europe soon... I got asked to go to otaly for some work today, and to holland next month. Idk if it will end up happening though, things change all the time? I have to keep checking quarantine rules all the time with countries! but YAY and YES Europe tour trip one day :D !!!!!!!

you know what? when I first saw you compare bowling and golf I was like, wait, what? but now I totally get it! i know a golfer and they talk about how physical and strenuous it is on the arms and stuff all the time which I don't think always comes across when you watch it and it makes a lot of sense with how you describe how you trained for bowling! i used to cox in rowing and I always used to find it really funny that I said that was the sport I did because honestly I just sat in the boat all the time and steered XD

obligatory YES WTF ARE COTTON SCENTS! quite a few shops in the city where I live have been closing down because of Covid but our Jo Malone is still going strong! I love that lots of already classic clothing shops have now gone out of business but for some reason the people where I live cannot live without their perfume XD I think I'm gonna go in later this week or next week to take a look! with all this travelling I kind of want to buy something new? also, my hands have been acting up with injury so I have to rest my hands more anyway – so might as well look for perfume right? do you have any recommendations or would the blueberry one you've just gotten be at the top of your list?

the exciting thing is that I'm doing a bit less this week! I need to wait and see if that job wants me to fly out to Italy within the next 48 hours, if not next week, but if not I think I'm gonna figure out how to rehabilitate my joints a bit and get my brain okay? It's been existential Covid crisis week haha - I think a lot of me and my friends have been feeling like we've lost so much of our lives and potential during this time and I've really tried to hold in and ignore it for the past 18 months? i'm not one to ever feel lonely or to really really want to be in a relationship like some of my friends, but I've just been feeling it this week? like, I love my independence, but I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend right now you know? I feel silly saying that sometimes because I'm so against feeling like you have to have someone in your life to be okay, but I guess that's just a result of how the world is has been recently?? but I think all my feelings exploded around this stuff now so, I am trying to get back into a better place? so it's not as exciting as some of the stuff I've told you about before, but it's what's up I guess?

how are your mum and grandmother doing? are they doing good? [lease send all my love to them too. I'm glad these help you reflect on your week! they do with me too and I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter how long you might need <3 <3 hope you manage to reward yourself for working so hard these past days and that you remember you're always doing 110% so you deserve the best!

love you lots and lots - 💥

ANGEL HELLO !!!!!!!!! i told myself i would stay on top of this and swear in a timely manner but ;_____; a full week + 2 clinical rotations later here i am on a sunday, it seems this is always the case :( maybe my get back to you day will only be on sundays LOL i will try my best in the future babe, but ofc thank you so much for being patient with me <3

uni is going fine so far hun !!!! i've started clinical rotations as i've said on thursday and friday, and then my first exam is on tuesday so i read some chapters yesterday so i'm not squished for time lol :) and ,,,, what you said "hope it's all part of the plan" is very much my way of thinking lol wha is your sign? i'm a sagittarius and that's like, a philosophy i go by like everything is how it's supposed to be even if it's not what u want like everything will work itself out :') i'm wondering if we are one in the same !!!!! <3

and omg ;_____; conflict within the workplace is NEVER easy bc all everyone wants is to reach the goal you all are reaching and bc there's some bumps in the road it makes everything that much more stressful :( and i know exactly the type of person you are talking about LOL i've had to work with some of my peers in the hospital who really didn't treat me all that nicely , but i still have to partner up with them anyways bc we had to move a patient lol ; like they never do anything terrible to you but you just cannot come to a proper agreement with them? i know the feeling :( but i can tell you are doing ur absolute best ;_____; it's a tough situation ,,,,,,,,, but may i propose something ??? maybe since things are high stress in the workplace, would u be willing to meet them outside the workplace, like a quick coffee meet up and then discuss those issues? maybe talking about it in the work environment is way too stressful for both of u and it is hard to come to an agreement, but maybe in a calmer, more informal setting do u think maybe the both of u could be like "hey, what u were talking about i'm not really head over heels for but this is what i think and do u think we can do something where both of us will be happy?" im thinking maybe will opening up a means for more civilized discussion?? just a thought LOL :') let me know how it goes :( i hope u are all able to figure everything out !!!!!

about the surgeries !!!!! like i said i know it's super stressful to think about bc this is one of the very few times in life where things are absolutely out of our control and that scares us, and we as medical providers aren't supposed to give u a false sense of security, but i promise u everything will be just fine as long as u correctly follow up with care post-op :) we wouldn't want an infection !!!! >;( i remember last year i had a patient and she was going in for a routine colonoscopy and she was scared shitless ,,,,,,, but i was like "listen ma'am i know it can seem scary but i was just in there with the doctors and everything is super relaxed and they know what they're doing in there, you'll be out in no time and i'll be here waiting !!" and that seemed to help her a lot, after the surgery she was on me like flies on shit LOL she was like "THANK U HONEY" (but i think most of it was bc she was still drugged up hhh)

LOL us with our family members waking up early <3 literally this morning i decided to do my laundry at 8am (its only 10 right right now lol) but idk it just make u feel a little bit better doesn't it? but oh my gosh no i don't see u in this way at all ;_____; babe like you're already THERE in the world working and to me like ,,,,,, being an effective functioning person in society is like all i ever want i just want to be COMPETENT and the fact that u manage ppl ???? it's already a lot of responsibility but you do it everyday like you go to work u make food for yourself u pay bills like yes this all kinda sucks but you're there doing it and idk ,,,,,,,, like u being in this position is like yeah their surviving in the world and doing okay !!!! so that’s how i see u hun ;_____;

and i don’t think i necessarily thrive under pressure but i just kinda ,,,,,,, handle it?? like i think i handle my stress quite well !!! i think the reason why making mistakes scares me so much in my field is bc if i make a mistake i can like, kill someone or seriously harm them if i do something wrong SLKDFJ but i have to remember i’m still just a student and a lot of the things that i’ll learn won’t even be in these last few months of nursing school, but rather during my months of orientation on the floor i’ll be working on when i finally land a job ,,,,,, i know i just have to be patient and kind to myself, but it’s hard not having these high expectations for myself bc everyone else pushes themselves super hard (nurses i mean) so i feel like i should be too , ya know? ;_____; it’s a hard balance that i’ve yet to find but hopefully once i graduate i’ll have just a little bit more confidence in myself :’)

and omg your grandparents lived a long life as well !!!!!!!! a lot of my friends’ grandparents are really young still, so it’s hard for others to relate i think LOL but :(((( i’m really lucky to have them around still and like, i feel like my grandparents are the cornerstone of our whole entire family; once they pass i’m not quite sure what will happen ;_____; so i’m just trying to cherish every moment that i have with them even tho sometimes it’s stressful lol ; also BOUT THE DIFFERENCES FROM EAST TO WEST COAST LOL ; i think u described it really well actually :) like among the friends u have the are from different parts of the states, it’s very accurate in my opinion !! and again after all it is just a very broad assumption, in general east coasters have this “workaholic” attitude, they tend to be very realistic which i actually appreciate a lot lol, i’m hoping to live near the east coast when i move out <3 now where i am from it is considered the midwest even tho it’s more east than west if u look at it on the map LMAO and like, it’s really funny bc if u say to someone you’re from the midwest they’ll tell u our reputation is being “too nice” LSKDLFJSKLD and like that’s our thing, a happy medium between coasts with big cities but small towns too and generally just very chill and nice ,,,,,,,, the south of the US is also known for having that “southern hospitality” overall very cheerful ppl with personality and super kind attitude on life :) now the west of the US i’m not saying there aren’t nice ppl out there bc there are LOL but esp near lost angeles or hollywood ofc you’re going to have ppl very stuck up bc ya know they made it to big bad LA and they want to be trendy with all of the fake health shit (celery juice does NOTHING FOR U sorry lol) generally my view of the west is just very fake and i would never want to have my family grow up there LMAO but that generally like, california and washington but like, utah or wyoming or colorado are just absolutely gorgeous and they have small town ppl there bc there are a lot of ranches there ,,,,,,,, does any of this make sense to u ??? KLASFJ 

i’m going to skip a few paragraphs bc this is so long already LMAO but trust me i’ve read everything so far lol ; it seems like you’re doing a lot of traveling !!!!!! <3 i’m so jealous !!!!!!!! italy sounds so beautiful i would love love to go some day :( ALSO U SMELLED THE BLUEBELL PERFUME RIGHT ???? U LIKED IT ?????? doesn’t it smell absolutely divine??? no matter how many scents i smelled after that i knew it was the right one for me ldkfsdlkfj <3 i’m still so in love with it ;____; also about ur lil rant about feeling lonesome :( bub i can really relate to this and i feel the same way like my mom and the rest of my family never pushed me to meet anyone and i’ve always never had a problem making friends, but like, as i’m older and i realize i’ll be alone a lot more of my time once i graduate like i really do want to share my life with someone :( i have a lot of love and i want to be able to show it to someone i care about a lot but i just never really take the initiative to do that bc quite honestly i’m not confident in myself lMAO so ,,,,,,, i know we never feel like we need to be dependent on someone but sharing experiences with someone who feels very strongly for u seems nice, doesn’t it? i wish this for both of us really soon okay?? <3 i tell my friends i would LOVE to be engaged right now lskdjfslfjs :’)

but anyways !!!!!!!! my mom and the rest of my family is doing well <3 and i’m doing okay too !!!!!! i don’t want to bore u with how clinicals are going but if u want me to tell u just let me know LOL and angel i know i say it all the time but always thank u so much for being patient with me okay? u are the absolute best !!!!!! also as promised, here are a few pics of my dorm room LOL it’s a shoebox but it’s my shoebox :) enjoy !!!!!!