#NOPE. huge ass fucking house spider right in my fucking face as i shook the curtain a little bit

[the-kipsabian]

had a mcfucking panic attack jfc

[zoebechtle-blog]

Unlikely Chapter 11

Saturday I’d convinced my jailers to let me escape back to my own apartment. Niall wasn’t huge on the idea, I could tell, but I was scared of wearing out my welcome. And I really wanted to walk around in my underwear, something I would have been fine doing at his house if it wasn’t for the roommates. I was very much used to living alone, and being stuck with three guys, even though I was secretly in love with one and adored the other two was like living in a fraternity house. A very clean, well organized frat house, but nonetheless...beer bongs and FIFA. I missed my pink towels and Tocca hand soap, and quiet. I really missed quiet.

Deo had been feeling a bit neglected and pouty, which I pointed out to Niall that morning after we got out of the shower (shower sex was my new favorite because he had a detachable shower head that did glorious things. He offered to buy me one, as well. Finally, a gift I could get behind.). Their friend Matt was coming to town that afternoon, so I suggested that we go our own ways for the night, which he agreed to begrudgingly. He tried to get me to take Phil with me, but I assured him Aaron would be man enough to protect me. Besides, had he seen my right hook? I’d snuck on my phone before Niall woke up that morning, and googled my name. There was the shit I was expecting (including a not-flattering picture of me drunk at a football game in college), but also quite a few really, really nice comments. People genuinely happy for Niall, commenting on his adoring smile and lovesick expressions. I felt decent about the whole she-bang and confident about where it was all going.

A night of dinner and dancing was on the books as I headed out to Soho with Aaron, Hannah (Willie, too, was on the lads night), and Carly. We hit two gay clubs, and I decided it was my night’s mission to get Aaron laid while we danced to some of the best house music around. Never one to put style over comfort, I’d worn battered fuschia Chucks with my little black dress. I wasn’t looking to be picked up, and I couldn’t throw shapes in heels like Carly could. This was a night about letting loose with my friends after what had ended up being a very long week. And I was there for it. I was goofy and drunk and in love with the world. So naturally I started drunk texting Niall.

“Hi buggaboo! I miss youuuuu.”

“Petal . Have we been drinking ?”

“We? I assume you have.”

“Secret?”

“Yes .”

“I’ve been drinking. Shhhhhhh :)”

“Going to get Aaron laid. He needs ridden like a cowboy.”

“go mission babe”

“heyyyyyyy”

“hi pretty girl .”

“Where are you?”

“On the way to Libertine.”

“Need a ride?”

“Zo ?”

“you ok ?”

“Yeah. Sorry we’re moving bars.”

“Someone Carly knows is getting us into the teddy bear bar.”

“The Toy Room ?”

“Yes! You’re pretty and smart, Niall Horan <3”

So The Toy Room was almost as insufferable as Libertine, based on my previous experience with Paul. I was regretfully underdressed and not even my cleavage or Hannah’s mouth could get us a second look by the bartenders to get a drink. The buzz I had was wearing off and we’d lost Carly within seconds of arrival. Also, a girl waiting in the queue had called me Niall’s fat ass girlfriend. Spotted.

“Toy Room sucks.”

“Come to Libertine.”

“I’ll give them your name.

“Count to ninety,” I told Hannah.

“Giving them a timeframe?”

“Yup. No drinks in ninety seconds or we bo-”

“Excuse me?” A very large, very bald man with an in-ear headset tapped my shoulder.

I looked up at him with wide eyes. Whatever he said, I totally didn’t do it. Jess and I made eye contact, and she squeezed my hand. Aaron’s eyes were filled with fear. Hannah stood by, ready to get in between me and Lerch. The only times club security approached us we ended up getting kicked out for something. Or Carly was being arrested (it’d happened before).

“Zoe Bechtel?”

“Yes?”

“Mr. Styles would like to invite you and your friends to the private room.”

What? “I’m sorry, you must have the wrong person. I don’t know Mr. Styles.” Baldie repeated this information into his headset.

Hannah elbowed me in the ribs. “What? I don’t know him.”

Aaron then decided to lean in, “Z, it’s Harry Fucking Styles.”

“Yeah, even your mom wants him, Aaron, I know.” He flipped me off.

“Miss? He said he’s your boyfriend’s bandmate, and that he’d like to meet you.” I’m sure Harry wasn’t accustomed to people turning down his invitations.

“Is there booze?” I was going to need it.

The security guard grinned at me. “Tonnes.”

We were lead back to VIP by Clark (of course I’d asked for his name and was trying to get his life story). Aaron and Hannah each took one of my hands, and Hannah showed Clark a picture of Carly to see if he could round her up as well. I was nervous as hell and gnawing the nail on my index finger. Goddamn it, Niall. We passed a number of London celebutantes and other A Listers, and I was just staring at my Chucks. My life seemed to be a series of poor wardrobe choices.

“Zoe!” A deep Northern accent yelled at me, and before I could registered what was going on, I was lifted off the ground and my face pressed into a silky shirt. We were hugging. Okay. We’d reached hugging territory.

“Harry, put the poor girl down!” The voice of a nasally sounding woman called out, and I was forever grateful to her.

“Hiiiiiiiii,” the tall, dark haired man grinned at me.

“Hey,” I straightened my skirt and saw Hannah cracking up. “You’re Harry, I take it.”

“Yup. You’re Zoe. Even prettier than Nialler said. So glad to finally meet you.” He pinched my cheek. He pinched my fucking cheek. I resisted my urge to slap his hand, but before I could, he hugged me again.

“Jesus, Harold, paws off the merchandise!” A pretty blonde, the one who got me put down, stepped around him. “I’m Gemma, Harry’s much wiser sister.”

I shook her hand, liking her already, “Zoe. And my friends Hannah, Jess, and Aaron.”

Everyone shook hands, and Hannah went in for the hug on Harry. Aaron, too. Jess had the good sense to avoid eye contact and hide behind me - this is why she and I were friends. Apparently Niall and Harry had been texting (news to me - he rarely discussed his bandmates and I had no specific questions to ask. We talked about the experiences more than the people.), and Harry had invited him to the party he was hosting for a friend tonight. Niall had declined, but texted him a bit ago that I was at the club with friends. Harry had then showed four different security staff a picture of me that Niall had sent him, pilfered from my IG, and had me hunted down. Well, at least there was plenty of booze. Gemma hooked us up with vodka, and we were officially kind of fancy.

Harry took me around and introduced me to the pretty people who filled the lounge. Most could have cared less, and a few gave me down right withering looks, but at least they pretended to be polite since I was with Harry. I said lots of hellos, threw out fake smiles, gawked a bit, and noticed Aaron in the corner with a morning radio DJ who appeared to be quite the close talker. I settled down onto a lounge, and tried to find Hannah and Jess. As the minutes ticked by and they didn’t return, I stood to find them dancing with Gemma. Feeling too self-conscious to join them, and having been abandoned by Harry because something shiny had caught his eye, I plopped back, bored.

“Having me hunted down and brought to VIP, eh?”

“Not to be rude, but there are ppl in here wearing socks that cost more than my rent. HELP ME.”

“Hannah might be leaving Willie for Gemma, FYI.”

Messing with Niall was very little fun when he didn’t play along.

“Carly has appeared. And has her tits in H’s face. He doesn’t seem to mind.”

“My god, someone just asked me if I was Harry’s AUNT. AN AUNT, NIALL.”

“Fuck me, I just spilled half a bottle of Goose on Alexa Chung.”

“Tell Deo I’ll be his wingwoman for the rest of his life-just come here and save me from this personal moritification.”

“Niall, if you love me or even just like me a little, you will come take me away. It’s your fault I’m being made to socialize with pretty ppl.”

No sooner had I sent the last text than Harry plopped down next to me, holding a bottle of booze.

“Sorry, been a shit friend. Had to do the host thing.”

“Harry, we literally met an hour ago. You’re not a shit friend. It’s cool.” As I talked, he turned his body to face me.

“Nope. We’re gonna bond. You’re my Nialler’s girl which makes you one of my best friends by default,” he gave a smile so full of dimple that I could see what women swooned in his presence. He had his own energy cloud floating around him. “He said you like Jameson. I have tequila. Will that work?”

I shrugged, “I’m not picky.”

“Hey, I have those same shoes!” He had good taste at least.

Turns out, good tequila is really, really good. And doesn’t taste like a rattlesnake’s asshole (my previous description for cactus nectar). Also, Harry was a riot. By the time we’d done our third shot we had declared ourselves official best friends and started playing fashion police. He invited me to take over for his personal assistant on his film shoot. Or to leave Niall and marry him. When I informed him that I couldn’t be with a man who was better dressed than me, he pulled me into his lap for a cuddle. Hannah joined us, finally, and made herself at home on Harry’s other knee. I kinda of adored this big man child.

“So I take it you don’t need me to take you away anymore?” The Irish accent growled in my ear. I spun around, freeing myself from Harry’s grasp.

“Buggaboo!” I launched myself from Harry’s leg to Niall’s lap, grabbing his neck like a spider monkey, kissing his flushed cheeks.

“Hey, babe. I see you made friends,” he nudged Harry with his knee.

“Nialler!” Harry piled on our hug, squeezing me in the middle of them. Women worldwide would pay to be part of this sandwich. “I missed you!”

“Harold and I are going to take over the world,” I proclaimed.

“I like this one,” Harry motioned to me. “She’s evil.” In sync, he and I raised our hands to make claws and growled at Niall.

“What have I done?” He gave me his whole face delighted smile, and I shot my own back at him, caressing his stubble. God he looked

“Whatcha doin’ here?”

“You said if I loved you I should come take you away. So here I am.” Well, that was a very exact way to word the statement.

“Here you are,” I said back to him, slowly.

“Yup.” He bopped my nose.

“Because you love me.”

“Because I love you, Zo.”

“Cool.”

“Cool?” He lifted my chin to look in his eyes. Mine had tears in them.

“Yeah, it’s really cool. ‘Cause I love you, too.”

My text alert started buzzing at 7:00. We’d been home about 3 hours at that point, and Niall was snoring like a freight train next to me. I got up to try locate the missing iPhone, tripping over his boots and landing on a leopard print jacket I didn’t recognize. What the hell? Strange gasps were coming from the other room. Then my phone’s loud ring (Sherlock theme song, natch) started playing. What the the hell? I pulled myself up and stumbled into the living room, trying to locate my handbag. One Harry Styles was passed out on the loveseat, limbs askew. Jess was drooling on the sofa pillows. I located the offending technology and lifted it above my head like a trophy. Jess raised her head a bit and groaned. The call was from Paul.

“Where are you?” He sounded concerned. “Who are you with?”

“Home. Niall and Jess are here. And Harry Styles.” I blew a piece of hair out my face.

“Well, you’re going to want to get the boys up. The Sun tweeted pics of you on Harry’s lap last night and people are freaking the fuck out.”

“What? No, we were hanging out! I was on Niall’s lap most of the night.” I leaned against the counter, holding my head.

“And Harry giving you a piggyback ride outside. Your granny panties are showing.”

“Fuck! I was wearing Spanx.” Shit, this is no good, very bad news.

“Oh, I know, baby doll. I’m looking at them. And you assholes went to the The Toy Room without me? Rude.”

I worked my way back to my room and grabbed my iPad, flopping on the bed. “Let me call you back, Paulie.”

Niall raised his head, “What going on, babe?” I ignored him and went to the Twitter app, pulling up the The Sun’s account. Motherfucker. There I was, in all my glory, sitting on Harry’s lap, leaning back against his chest, both of us hysterically laughing. If you didn’t know it was nothing, it did looking semi-intimate. And then the offending Spanx pic - lord. You could actually see the stretch marks on my thighs. I slapped my head. Niall was following us and grabbing my ass as I clung to Harry’s back. I remembered stepping out of my untied shoe as we made our way outside. Harry scooped me up (surprisingly strong, that one. He only looks like Gumby.), and Niall grabbed the shoe. I could see very easily how someone would get the wrong idea about this picture. Jess and Carly were right behind Niall (Hannah had been dragged home by Willie after she tried to kiss Gemma and Aaron had disappeared with the DJ), but they’d been cropped out. We went out a backdoor into a waiting car. I didn’t recall even seeing photographers. I covered my mouth. I looked like a drunken slag.

Niall peered over my shoulder at the tablet, and made a noise that I would only describe as animalistic. “MotherFUCKERS! These are fucking cell picss - it was someone in VIP. The only person in the alley were employees of the club. I’ll fucking have them fired.” He grabbed his phone and started firing off a text.

I still sat in shock. My God, my patients’ parents would see this. My coworkers would see this. “I look like I’m about to take on both of you. My God, Niall. I look like a whore!” Tears ran down my cheeks silently.

“You’re not a whore, baby. You didn’t do anything! Fucking FUCK. You made us get kebabs and you fucking tucked in Jess and Harry. You walked Carly to her damned door because ‘bad people lurk, Niall!’”

My voice had approached shrieking, “Yeah, well, that’s not obvious here!”

Jess poked her head in the open door, “Zo, you okay?” I looked at her, shell shocked. It takes a fair amount to rattle me to the core, but we’ve reached that level. Ni looked terrified.

“C’mere.” Jess sat down beside me and wrapped me up in her arms, whispering words of comfort.

“HAROLD!” Niall got up and walked into the living room, and we heard him rattling Harry awake. “Look at this fucking horseshit!” Harry was still 90% asleep and drunk, and he groaned and made weird noises. “Look at this, Haz! They’re dragging Zoe through the fucking mud!”

“What the hell?” From the bed, we could see Harry sit up and take the iPad. “Shit. These aren’t pap shots. That was someone in the alley.”

“Yep.”

“It was one of the people out smoking, I bet. Look at the angle. Jesus Christ.” The two stared at one another, communicating silently.

“Yeah.” Niall was pulling his hair.“Get your goddamn lawyers on the phone. I’ll pay whatever fees. I want this shit gone!” I buried my head back into Jess’s shoulder.

“It’s a whole new world, baby girl.” She kissed my hair as Niall started talking to someone on the phone. Kimmy, if I was gathering it correctly. Harry was on his phone, too, talking in a low voice.

“Guys.” I walked out into the living room. Niall turned from the kitchen window, and Harry covered the speaker on his phone, reaching his hand out to me.

“I’m so sorry, Z.” He looked heartbroken, and I mussed his short hair.

“S’okay.”

“The pictures are out there, yeah?” Niall walked back into the room and sat down on the couch beside me, and put this phone on speaker. “Kim, Zoe is talking.”

“Hi, Kimmy. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this.” What a way to wake up on a Sunday morning - I could verify. “Anyhow, the pics are out. They’ve been retweeted. Even if The Sun pulled them would it make a difference?”

“It could,” Harry started, as Kim said, “Not really.”

We finally decided that Harry would have his attorneys look into it. He called a security guard to retrieve him and Jess, and gave me hugs, apologizing for the incident. He was headed to France to start the film soon, but he promised to be in touch. He and Niall bro-hugged and leaned their heads in, whispering to one another. I hated that me being stupid was causing Niall issues. For a boy that a week ago had really never had much public drama, he was sure getting his taste now.

He put on a huge (fake) smile. “D’ya want breakfast? We could get something delivered?” I shook my head and walked back into the bedroom, throwing myself on the mattress. My face rested on the pair of offending Spanx, and I threw them against the wall. Niall stood in the doorway and stared, chewing on his poor, abused thumbnail.

“I’m so sorry, Niall.” I said it more into my pillow than outloud. God, he’d just finally told me he loved me last night, and less than twelve hours later I wouldn’t blame him if he cut bait. “This is humiliating for you.” When all else failed, my natural instinct was to blame myself. I suddenly felt fifteen again. Kyle the Worst, my high school boyfriend, had been caught cheating on a geometry exam and kicked off the football team. It was my fault because I hadn’t prepared him for it properly, and the bruised ribs I got the evening after he was removed were my punishment. When I fought back, he slapped me across the face.  When my mom saw the wounds and told my dad, he agreed that Kyle might have been out of line, but really, why else would he be dating the smart girl? (My dad taught me how to throw a punch when I was 8 in case of bullies, but the ones you date didn’t count, I guess.) That’s how my brain processed the first twenty plus years of my life, and right now, I was back there. Seven years of progress being pushed to the side.

“Zoe, why the fuck are you sorry? Baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. My God, no.” Niall knew this story. I’d told him one night in his dark bedroom, my face buried in his chest as he rubbed my shoulders. He just listened and told me they were wrong. So wrong.

He fell on the bed and pulled me into his lap. “I’m not humiliated, I’m pissed off at the idiot who took those pics, The fuckin’ Sun, and anyone who thinks they have to right to say shit about you. I fuckin’ love you. I love you so much. I meant it when I said it last night. Wanted to tell you forever but I was too big of a pussy. My heart is breakin’ because you’re hurt and it’s because you’re with me.” He was crying, too. My God, I’d made him cry.

“No! No crying!” I furiously rubbed at his cheeks, trying to get them stop by friction alone.

“Then no cryin for you,” he mimed my actions, making me laugh. “There’s m’girl. Listen,” he lowered his eyes so we were staring directly at one another, “I will fight someone to the death for you. It’s only been two months, but I’m pretty sure you’re the love of me life, Zo. I knew I loved you the second I saw your smile in person. Cupid shot me in my arse. I tried to pretend it was somethin’ else until that night you played with my hair and wore my hat. I was so far gone for ya. Ya get me. You’re smart and kinda. Ya make me laugh my tits off. And you’re the prettiest woman I’ve ever met, inside and out. Everytime I see ya I feel like my heart is gonna jump out of my chest.”

Well now the tears were for a completely different reason.

[mostlymaddie]

Polyester Makes Her Butt Itchy

A/N: I hope you guys like it, I didn't edit this so I hope you don't mind too much. word count: 1,659 Harry knew Y/N’s love for animals were strong, she was always kind to each one she saw. Y/N went to pet stores everyday, no matter if she barely had enough time she would make time. Everytime she came back she would ask Harry the same question “Can we please get a pet please H? You know I’ll take care of it, maybe we can get something small like a mouse, spider, or something please?” Harry was taken aback the first time she’d asked the question, he knew damn well the spider was out of the question. He didn’t want to risk getting scared at night and accidentally kill it then consul her after breaking the unfortunate news. But that day and onward his answer had been the same, “Pretty girl, you know I would love nothing more than getting you a pet, but when I take you on tour with me it’s not very practical to have a cat with you. Even if you leave it at home who’s going to take care of it for that long? I’m sorry love, but it’s a no." Telling Y/N no made his heart stop, she never asked him to throw all his money into her needs and wants. So it was extremely easy for him to say yes to her, well the only thing he hesitated on was letting her do is make up, after a few kisses and a blowie he agreed. Y/N called Harry before walking out of the house, “Hey H, I’m about to walk down to the pet store, Louise said she’d keep it open for thirty extra minutes so I can’t pass that up. You’ll most likely get home before me so can you preheat the oven?” Y/N fumbled with the keys before putting them in her pocket and walked toward the shop. “Unfortunately love, I’m gonna hafta pull an all nighter at the stu’. If I do that and work tomorrow as well I’ll get this weekend free.” A free weekend sounded great to Y/N so no complaints left her lips. “Yeah that’s fine. I’m here H, I’ll call you when I finish.” “Okay love, can’t wait to see yeh this weekend cause I have a surprise jus’ for yeh. Love ya pretty girl.” Y/N’s cheeks got heated at the thought of his surprise. “Okay Har, Love you too.” she opened the door as soon as the conversation ended. Y/N was used to seeing Louise at the front desk waiting for her, but today was different. “Louise? Where are you?” she called out. “Back here!” Y/N maneuvered her way to the back of the shop. Louise stood to greet the guest but with tears in her eyes, Y/N’s heart immediately broke and she pulled Louise into a hug. “Oh my goodness are you okay? Was it Kevin? I told you that butt was no good for you.” Y/N pouted while combing through Louise’s newly red hair. “No it’s not him, it’s Minty. We have to put her down tomorrow since her medication is getting pricey and we barely have enough to feed and take care of all the animals. I’ve called every cruelty free animal shelter and they have no room.” Y/N herself started to ball her eyes out at this news, Minty was Y/N's favorite animal there, of course she treated and loved on all the pets there the same amount, but Minty held a special place in her heart. “Are you sure? No one wants to buy her or anything?” Y/N quickly ran to get her favorite cat, minty, and cuddled her next to Louise. The redhead sighed and went to pet the cat in question "No, I've tried giving her to other shelters, but they don't have space. I tried to give her away for free but when they find out about her condition, they bail." Y/N sighed and placed kisses on the top of the cats head. "Then I'll take her." the redhead shot up "You can't, you know what Harry will say then you'd have to give her back and then she'd get put down the next day." Y/N shook her head, "No that's not going to happen. I'm not letting go of her when I could have done something to stop it. Harry can yell at me and chew me out all he wants because honestly I don't give a damn. Won't let Harry return this cat, if he even thinks about it I'll beat his ass with a  hammer." Louise chuckled at Y/N she may have been quiet and sweet but if you fucked with something she loved, she won't hesitate to release hell upon the one who wronged her. "Well love bird, if you're serious let's get some paper work done." After about forty minutes of paper work, Minty was officially Y/N's. While the redhead locked up shop, Y/N called Niall, "Hey Ni! How are you?" Niall sighed on his end of the line. "You only call me 'Ni' when you do something wrong. What'd you do?" Y/N mentally cursed herself for letting Niall in as a big brother and knowing all of her tells. "You know how I love animals rig-" "Christ Y/N, you didn't. Who am I kidding, fucking huge heart of yours. What happened?" Y/N cooed at the kitten in her lap, "Well, you know Louise and how she has a pet shop? Minty is my favorite cat and they were going to put her down and I couldn't allow it, so I took her home. Harry's going to be pissed I don't know what to say to him." Niall cleared his throat, "With that reason alone Harry wouldn't be upset with you hell, throw some puppy dog eyes and tears? You'd get away with bloody murder." Y/N chuckled knowing he was completely right, "Well we just pulled up to Pet Smart, I'll call you later yeah?" "Okay sweetheart stay safe." Louise and Y/N walked around the store picking out toys, food, bowls, collars, a cute sailor outfit Y/N just couldn't pass up, and finally a bed that felt just right and was made of the right materials because, "Polyester makes her butt itchy. So get something with way more cotton than polyester. While Y/N looked for a bed, Louise started ordering Minty's medication. They got every thing they needed and drove to Y/N and Harry's shared home. After setting a up a small scratching post and letting Minty get used to the house, Y/N decided she held the redhead captive enough and let her go for the night. Once things got settled down, she called Harry. " 'Ello love. I thought yeh said she'd keep it open fo' thirty minutes not two hours." "Yeah, after visiting the pets we came back to the house and watched a movie. Kinda lost lost track of time but at least I called." Y/N decided not to tell him over the phone, this was a matter that had to be discussed face to face. "Ahh I'm glad yeh got a girl's night. Anythin' else?" "Nope, just chillin'." Harry laughed and they continued their conversation until she got tired. Today was the day. Early Saturday morning, she made Harry's favorite breakfast and waiting at the kitchen's island for Harry to walk through the door. As Y/N poured juice for herself, Harry walked into the kitchen. "Goo' morning pretty girl, whatcha up ta?" Y/N smiled and ran into his arms, "I made breakfast come on, let's eat." Halfway through breakfast, Harry felt Y/N's foot rubbing against his ankle. "If ya wanna play footsies jus' ask." Y/N furrowed her eyebrows "I'm not doing anythin'." Harry gave her a face then looked down at his feet. His chewing slowed and his eyes got wide, "Tha fuck!" Y/N's eyes also wided in realization, "H, baby hear me out th-" Harry swallowed his food and looked up at Y/N. "You have negative five seconds to explain the cat at my foot." it's was obvious he was holding back yelling at his girl, the proof in the vains protruding from his neck. She ran over to pick the cat up and bury it in her chest. "H, they were going to put her down today since she was getting expensive and no one would take her. Yell at me call me what ever names you want, I don't care but you aren't taking Minty away from me!" Harry immediately soften at the mention of Minty. Everyday after her vists she would always go on about this particular cat and how happy she made her. Harry saw the love in her eyes every time she talked about her. He sighed and walked toward Y/N and the cat. "Tha's Minty?" the worried girl nodded her head. He looked his lover in the eye before holding his hands out for the kitty. "If she makes yeh that happy, I guess yeh can keep her." Y/N's eyes filled with tears as she jumped and cheered around the kitchen. "You hear that Mint? I can keep you!" After that fiasco, all three cuddled on the couch and watched TV. "Mmm wait, get up fo' a second." Y/N lifted herself off of Harry's lap and watched him walk toward his abandoned bag at the door. "Here.", he placed a smallish rectangular box on her lap. Y/N opened the box to reveal a phone case with a picture of her and Harry as the design. She cooed at the case then leaped up the give Harry a kiss and a hug, "Oh my gosh, thank you thank you thank you! I love it babe!" He smiled into the hug and rubbed her back. " 'm glad yeh do."

[askthestabbystabbysquad]

Oh i loved that last one~. Oh how about they come in from *ahem* 'working', hear their s/o screaming and run in only to see their s/o standing on the table or counter cause they saw a big fat bug

Michael: He silently entered his s/o’s house. The knife was dripping blood onto his shoe. Last time he’d come home covered in blood, his s/o had kicked him out. He wasn’t going to let that happen again if he cold help it. He assumed his s/o would be sleeping in their bed, since it was three in the morning, but the shriek from the kitchen sent him running in. He never ran, so when he rounded the corner at full-speed, he slipped on a puddle of water and slammed into the wall. “OH MY GOD MICHAEL KILL IT!! KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!!” They hollered, clutching onto a chair and pointing at a rather large cockroach. He rubbed his sore shoulder and went to go step on the bug when it jumped on his pant leg. He kicked violently a few times before just stopping and staring at his s/o. “MICHAEL IT’S A HUGE ASS BUG!! AND NOW IT’S CRAWLING UP YOUR LEG!!! KILL IIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!!” They hollered. He felt a tickle at the bottom of his mask and then slapped it. The bug fell on the ground, and went to scurry away, but was crushed under his boot. He shivered and then was tackle-hugged. “OH MY GOD THANK YOU!! IT’S BEEN THERE FOR THE PAST HOUR!!” He sighed and shook his head. He loved his s/o, but that was a little extreme...

Jason: He barged into the house, panting slightly and holding his wounded shoulder. He went to go wake up his s/o so they could patch him up, but the scream from the kitchen called him over in a hurry. He saw his s/o, crouched on the counter with a spatula, staring intently at the floor. He tilted his head. “Jason, there’s a big ass bug on the floor and it’s going to have to DIE OH MY GOD JASON KILL IT! IT’S RIGHT THERE!!” They hollered, pointing at the bug. He walked over and picked the beetle up, then tossed it out the window. They jumped down and put the spatula up slowly. “Is it gone? Is it going to fly back in? WILL IT CRAWL INTO MY EAR TONIGHT?!?” He stared at them wide-eyed. Would that bug seriously do that? He slammed the window closed and hugged his s/o, forgetting momentarily that he was covered in blood and bleeding. “Uh, Jason, you’re shoulder...” He let go and looked sheepishly down at his feet. “Oh! Uh, let me get changed and I’ll patch that up for you. Okay?” He nodded and let them walk out on their own, suspiciously eyeing the window, the beetle pail in the middle of it outside.

Leatherface: He came home with a full-belly, his mamas cooked meatloaf still on his tongue. He had his chainsaw over his shoulder and was calmly walking inside when he heard a loud scream. He ran to the kitchen to see his s/o, perched like a cat on the table, a broom in hand. “Thomas, there’s a giant scorpion in here. Kill. It. Now.” They hissed, staring at the large black scorpion on the floor that sat on the floor in the kitchen by the stove. He stared at it for a moment before looking back at his s/o. “THOMAS KILL IT PLEEEEEAAAAASEEEEEE!!!” They hollered. He shined and carefully strode over to the table. He held out his hand for the broom, which he got. He raised it over his head and slammed it down on the scorpion, catching it’s tail and crushing it. He then picked it up and tossed it out the window. He looked back at his s/o in time to be tackled. “You’re home!!” They smiled and laughed, as if they hadn’t been perched on the table moments earlier. He didn’t care though. He happily squeaked and hugged them back, blood getting on the sides of their shirt.

Pinhead: He entered his s/o’s home, ready to tell them about the torture that (Insert most hated person’s name here) had received today, hoping that this would make them feel better about themselves, but the loud scream from the kitchen made me change his mind. He hurried to the kitchen and looked at the amusing spectacle in front of him. His s/o stood on a chair, on top of the table, pressed up against the ceiling and and screaming in fear at a rather large earwig on the floor. He blinked before walking forward and stepping on it. “Better?” He asked, a bored expression on his face. They whimpered and nodded. “Thanks... When did you get back?” “Just now. When you yelled, I thought you’d been attacked by an intruder.” “Might as well have been, that wouldn’t have been NEARLY as scary! Did you SEE the size of that fucking thing?!?” “Yes, I did. I believe I killed it though...” “Yeah, but STILL!! That thing was HUGE!” “Yes darling.” “Like, fucking GINoURMouS!!” “I think you should stop now...” “Why?” “Your voice...” “NEvER mIND ThaT!!” He sighed. This was going to be a long night...

Hannibal: He blinked slowly at his s/o. They were perched on the sink, clutching Earl Gray to their chest, staring intently at a snake on the floor. “Dear, what on earth are you doing?” “DO you not see the giant ass snake in the middle of the fucking room?!?” They hissed, glaring angrily at him. He rolled his eyes. “Yes, I do. But it’s not a threat. How did it even get in here anyways?” “Earl Gray brought it in. And I don’t know if it’s venomous or not.” “And? Just pick it up behind it head.” “No, it’s scary.” They hissed again. “You know you CAN speak up, right?” “I don’t want to. Get it out.” He sighed before walking over to it and picked it up, the snake hissing and writhing. He gently tossed it outside and closed the door. “It’s gone. You can get down now.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m sure. It’s outside.” “What if it gets back in and kills me in my sleep?” “Then I’ll eat it.”

Billy: He hummed as he walked into the house, his s/o probably sleeping or watching a movie. Or, at least, that’s what he thought. The loud and shrill scream from the kitchen made him jump, and he bolted towards the room that usually smelled like popcorn. He tripped over his costume, falling face-first on the floor and on something rather large that got crushed under his mask. “BABE! BABE WHAT’S WRONG?!?” “Oh, you fixed it.” “What?” “There was a giant ass spider and, well, it’s now on your face...” “HOLY SHIT GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFFGETITOFF!!!” HE ran around the kitchen, fanning at his face. His s/o laughed and almost fell off of the chair they were on. “Billy stop running around. Billy, I have a paper towel. Billy just fucking- BILLY LOOMIS STOP RUNNING!!” They laughed, almost doubling over. He eventually threw the mask off and onto the ground and ended up curled up close to his s/o for the rest of the night. He hated spiders.

Stu: He was the coward. He really was. So he came home and saw his s/o cooing over a fucking TARANTULA and ended up on the chandelier. He stared angrily down at the spider. “Do you need a ladder?” “No, get that thing out of here.” “It’s my friends spider. I’m spider-sitting for the rest of the week. So he’s gotta go into his container. Ain’t that right Claude?” “IT HAS A NAME?!?” “Yes Stu. He has a name. Terrifying, isn’t it?” “YES!!” He hollered. “Stu, you are a  SERIAL killer.” “AND?!? I CAN STILL BE SCARED OF BUGS AND CRAWLIES AND STUFF!!!” “Stu, get down.” “NO!!” “...If I give you a cookie, will you get down?” “...Maybe... BUT ONLY IF YOU PUT THE SPIDER AWAY!” They sighed and put the spider into a container. “Fine. Now get down.” “Cookie first!” “Fine, jeez you big baby. I used to be scare of you you know.” “You mean you aren’t anymore?” “Nope. Especially not after this.” He huffed, and opened his mouth, which got a cookie shoved in it.

Norman: He ran back down the stairs of the motel, hearing his s/o screaming. Had they seen mother kill? Had they been hurt? Where they being robbed?!? He burst into the kitchen and screamed. There was a giant rat sitting in the middle of the room. He joined his shaking s/o on top of the table and held the knife over its head. It sniffed the air and scurried away. “W-well at least I didn’t drop it...” “NORMAN BATES DO NOT JINX US!!!” “I’M S-SORRY!!” The rat climbed up onto the counter. His s/o took the knife and threw it at the rat, nailing it right in the side, pinning it to the wall. There was complete silence before his s/o began to shout and jumped off of the table. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH! Ohoho!!OH!! Did you SEE that?!? Holy SHIT!! THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING!!!” They fist bumped the air and ran around, pride decorating their face. He sighed and got down. He took the knife hesitantly and began to gently tap it against the garbage bin to get the rat off. He’d definitively be washing that knife...

David: He walked into his s/o’s house. He was silent, knowing his s/o would probably be asleep. They were trying to transition to his sleep schedule, but he didn’t sleep a lot and they had work. But the hesitant and small voice from the kitchen startled him. “David, are you home?” “Oh. Yeah, hey babe.” “David, there is a giant ass centipede in the kitchen and I want you to come and kill it. Right now.” He snorted and walked into the kitchen. “No need to over-OH MY GOD NO!! FUCK THAT!!!” He saw the giant ass centipede. He did not lie that he saw the giant ass centipede. He didn’t like that giant ass centipede in the least. “Babe please kill it.” “Uh, no, YOU kill it.” He climbed up on the wall and stared at the giant ass centipede that CLEARLY didn’t belong in the natural world. “Babe please...” He looked up at his s/o, who was crying and clearly terrified. He blinked in surprise. “Okay. Fine. But that thing does NOT belong here!” “Yeah...” He jumped off the wall and ran towards the counter, grabbing a huge cookbook that was never used and had a hard cover, and he tossed it at the bug. It made a sickening squelch as the book hit it. He sighed and walked towards his s/o. “It’s gone. Also, that cookbook needs to be burned now.” They nodded in agreement, letting him lift them into his arms and carry them to bed. 

Carrie: She didn’t actively kill unless someone survived her massacre and had the chance to have kids. She came home, now covered in blood, to her s/o standing on top of a chair. “CARRIE THERE IS A FUCKING MOUSE IN THE KITCHEN!!!” She sighed and dropped a pot on the mouse from the living room. “... CARRIE THERE IS NOW A DEAD MOUSE AND A BROKEN POT ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR!” She sighed and rolled her eyes. 

Samara: Her s/o passed out on top of the table. They’d seen the large spider and they’d climbed up before passing out. You see, Samara’s s/o may be able to stand up to her, but they had an extreme fear of bugs. They had a terrible case of arachnophobia. And the large spider slowly creeping towards the table was going to get itself killed. Samara stood over it, glaring. It skidded away, but she was caging it in her long black locks. It jumped up onto her dress and froze, then fell off, dead. She walked up to her s/o and gently shook them, waking them up enough to get them to shuffle to their room. She watched them sleep for a moment before going back to the kitchen and disposing of the bug via garbage disposal. Then she walked back to her s/o’s room and curled up next to them, tossing a blanket over them both and falling asleep. Her s/o really was a colourful figure...

[5sos-ruined-us]

Spider Hybrid!Luke

Summary: Sheltering in an old and abandoned house, (Y/n) stumbles upon a strange finding.

Word count: 2.1k

Requested: Nope (bleh)

Masterlist

The rain pelted us with raindrops that just got heavier the more we ran in the open. Our legs carried us into an abandoned house for shelter. I pulled my soaked jacket off of my head and wrung it out.

"I told you we should've left earlier." I glared at my friend for his comment.

"How was I suppose to know it would start storming?" I fired back, wringing out my hair. I scanned our surroundings, "Oh," I noticed the dusty walls and cobweb covered areas. Jackson looked around as well,

"Where are we?" He questioned.

"That creepy old abandoned house no one goes into." I pointed out.

"Fuck that, I'm outta here!" He yelled and ran.

"Jackson! It's raining, you dick!" I yelled after him but he continued to run in the heavy rain. "Moron." I scoffed. I looked around at the house, the stench of rotting wood only hitting me then. Moss was growing on the corners of the ground. I walked further into the house with my arms wrapped around myself, hoping there was at least a source of heat for me to warm down. I pulled my wet phone out of my pocket and pressed the home button a couple times before realising it had died; most probably due to the rain. I groaned and slipped it back into my pocket as I continued to search the house. Is anyone even living in here? I thought to myself. A creak of the floorboards made me freeze in my tracks. In any other case, I would've darted out of the house saying the words Jackson blurted out minutes ago, but with the rain going on outside I was trapped inside the old house.

"What's a pretty thing like you doing in here?" A strange voice spoke up from above me. I slowly looked up and fell to the ground at what I saw. A huge spider. A HUGE ass spider looking down at me.

"What the shit?!" I exclaimed as I moved away from it.

"Scared too, well I can't expect it not to be." It muttered more to itself.

"Y-Yo-You can t-talk. O-Oh my god. Not only did Jackson bail on me but he l-left me with a g-giant t-t-talking sp-spider." I tried to calm my erratic heartbeat.

"I'm also kinda hungry." It droppe from the ceiling and crawled up to me, "Wanna be my lunch?" It hissed. "You don't really have a choice." It turned around and shot a string of silk at me. I was too shocked to scream and let it drag me to a giant web at the ceiling. It wrapped me in a silk casing and strung me to the top.The silk was so strong I couldn't even move. "I can finally eat a person after so long!" It gleefully opened it's mouth at me head in which I screamed at and closed my eyes.

"Mother," A frustrated voice spoke up from behind it. She turned her head around and I opened my eyes to see a blond boy glare at her, "I told you I don't like you eating humans." He said.

"But Luke, I-"

"Mum, please. The poor thing looks like she might shit in your web!" He pointed out, both of them turning to me.

"Oh alright." She swiped her leg up at the silk holding me and I fell out of the casing. I fell to the wooden floor with a loud thud. "Why do I even bother catching them anymore." I heard her grumble as she crawled away. The blond boy extended his hand to me,

"I apologise for my mother's attitude." He smiled warmly.

"It's okay." I took his hand, standing up but I paused when I saw that everything below his torso was the abdomen of a spider with 6 legs holding him up. I looked up at him properly and noticed a pair of white fangs sticking out of his upper lip.

"Oh, you've only now noticed me other half." He blushed lightly as I stood up properly. "Let me just," He ran into one of the rooms for a while before coming out as a human with quite long legs. He was really attractive which made my stomach erupt with butterflies.

"Wow, your legs are still very long." I said without thinking. My eyes widened at my own comment after a bit, "Oh god, that is the stupidest thing I've ever said." I blushed. He chuckled at me words,

"I get it a lot. I don't really mind either. I find it quite funny." He gave me a toothy grin.

"Huh," I breathed out a laugh, "You're much less terrifying than your mum - no offence." I commented.

"Yeah, everyone says that too. She just likes eating people sometimes and I don't like her to because my friends are people." He shrugged. "I assume you're taking shelter from the storm?" He said it in more of a question.

"Uh, yeah, my friend darted out after he realised that this was the old abandoned house." I rolled my eyes.

"I don't blame him. It's been abandoned for so long my parents took refuge here." He said, "Come with me. There's a fireplace above that I use when it rains just in case people like you come here." He smiled once again. I followed him up the creaky stairs and into an old bedroom with a lit fireplace on one side. "Sit." He sat down and patted the spot beside him. I sat beside him and  let the warmth of the fire radiate onto me, a content hum escaping my throat.

"So how did you get to become a hybrid?" I asked him after a while.

"Well my parents were human but something happened while my mum was pregnant with me. Some kind of spiderman shit and they both turned but when she gave birth to me, I came out 50/50. I learned to control it, so after 21 years of practice, I can turn into a spider, a human or a mixture of both. Something like you saw downstairs." He explained.

"That's actually pretty cool. I've never met a hybrid before. I actually didn't know they existed." I chuckled.

"We prefer to stay hidden or stay human. Not everyone has your reactions." He shook his head, "A lot of people run or throw things at us, calling us freaks or spawns of the devil. I've gotten that before, so I'm kinda used to it." He sighed.

"I don't think you're a freak." I pointed out in which he turned to me and smiled,

"The first of many." He chuckled. "Oh, I forgot to introduce myself; my name's Luke." He extended his hand.

"(Y/n)." I shook it.

"Tell me about yourself, (Y/n)." He said.

"What about? I don't think there's much to know about me." I tilted my head slightly.

"Well, tell me about your interests, your hobbies, your likes, dislikes. Anything really." He shrugged. So, I told him about myself. I told him about my hometown, my friends, my interests, how obsessed I was with a certain band. Luke told me about himself as well, his life as a spider hybrid and how much time he spends in the forest behind the house until the rain stopped. I looked outside the broken window.

"I guess it's time for me to leave." I turned away from the window and noticed Luke staring at the fire sadly. "You okay?" I asked, going up to him.

"Yeah," He sighed, "I just, it's been so long since I've talked to someone and you have to leave already." He gave me a sad smile. I felt my heart drop a bit,

"I'll come back soon." I said, not believing myself.

"They always say that." He grabbed a bowl filled with water and splashed it on the fire, putting it out. "They forget about coming back, so it's okay." He smiled at me before turning around to walk away.

"I promise I won't forget," I grabbed his wrist, "Luke, I'll come back." I pulled him back to me. He looked into my eyes with a hard stare,

"I'll take you somewhere that'll guarantee you come back." He pulled his hand out of my grip and picked me up bridal style, catching me off guard.

"Woah! Dude!" I exclaimed.

"Hold on tight." He said and started running towards the window.

"Woah, woah, WOAH!" I screamed and closed my eyes as he jumped out. I opened my eyes when he landed and noticed that his legs had turned into the bottom half of a spider and were griped around the trunk of a tree. I looked up at him and he was looking at me,

"Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded,

"Y-Yeah, that was just a bit un-unexpected." I breathed heavily as I tried to calm my erratic heartbeat.

"Well if you're nervous now, hold on tight. I'm going full speed." His grip tightened around me as he started to jump from tree to tree with incredible speed. I held onto him for my life with my eyes closed, hoping it would calm me down a bit more. "You can open your eyes now." He said, amusement laced in his voice. I opened my eyes and he was looking down at me with a goofy smile on his face.

"Oh," I pulled out of his arms, "Where are we?" I asked.

"We're in the middle of the forest, but there's something that you'll most probably enjoy." He crawled to a mound of dirt that had broken shards of colourful glass sticking out of it. A beam of light was shining down right on it. He turned to me and stuck his hand out. I took it and stood beside him. He blocked the light from shining on the glass and started to move the shards around, "Look there." He pointed to an open space of the area without looking away. I turned to the open space and furrowed my brows,

"There's nothing there." I turned back to him. He responded by nudging my face back and looking up,

"Yet." He smiled as he moved away, letting the light shine on the glass. I gasped when I saw what reflected off of the glass. The light reflected was a mix of colours, almost like the aurora borealis or a galaxy without stars. "If you want stars." He adjusted the glass again and it was like looking into one of those high quality National Geographic pictures of outer space with more colour.

"Wow." I breathed out in awe.

"This is why this is my favourite spot of the forest." Luke smiled at me before turning back to the lights. "Nature directs and I help with the costumes," He moved to a tree trunk and climbed it all the way to the top until I couldn't see him.

"Luke?" I called out after a few minutes of him not coming down. He came falling down from the top of the tree with birds and butterflies coming out as reaction of his sudden movement. I gasped again as I watched him land, birds and butterflies filling the area. I looked around and just admired the colours. I heard something hit the tree and more birds came out from the trees. "Oh my god," I looked around.

"I learned that trick on accident. Tripped on a root and hit the tree and birds just came flying out. I was amazed at first." He chuckled. I smiled at him,

"It's beautiful. It really is." I turned to the lights just as my phone started ringing in my pocket. I pulled it out and turned to Luke, "Excuse me." I said as I answered the phone.

"(Y/n), where the hell are you?" Jackson asked through the phone.

"Uhm, still at that house you abandoned me in." I scoffed.

"I'm sorry, dude. I freaked, okay? And I freaked out more when I realised you didn't come out with me but I was too far to turn back."

"Well if you stayed, you wouldn't have to freak out, dick." I hissed.

"I'm sorry, alright. Text me when you get back." He said before hanging up.

"Ugh," I slipped my phone back into my pocket and turned to Luke, "I have to go. My friend almost shat himself because he realised I didn't leave the house." I explained. He nodded his head,

"I'll take you back." He picked me up bridal style and brought me back to the house. "You promise you'll come back, right?" He bit his lip when I was about to leave.

"I promise."