#New political platform: abolish tipping culture to reduce local crime

[kushielsmercy]

Bartender/Hitman Geraskier AU

NSFW | Tags in the tags, but basically non-graphic feral!Jaskier, Sub!Geralt, and poor moral compasses all around. Oh and I guess implied non-con (very passing reference). Despite the description - this is not dark. Also go read QueenForADay's actual mobster Geralt series because I blame this plot bunny on her.

Modern AU in which Jaskier is a struggling bartender and Geralt his favorite patron. Geralt always comes in late, near closing. But he never stays for more than one drink, tips 50%, and tells off (glares off? Words are rarely involved) large groups who try to come in ten minutes before closing. So Jaskier makes an exception to his “anyone who comes through these doors within a half hour of closing can burn in the deepest circle of hell” rule. And not that this impacts his assessment at all but Geralt’s got the broadest shoulders Jaskier has ever seen and long white hair with just the slightest hint of red highlights that he needs to get his hands on, like, yesterday.

Geralt is the right-hand and sometimes hitman of local kingpin, Vesemir. And one night he stumbles into a run-down pub after a bad job because it’s twenty minutes to his house and also twenty minutes to a drink and - yeah, no. Turns out the pub may be old but the bartender is a pretty young thing with bright blue eyes and clever hands and a lips that Geralt wants to see wrapped around his cock. But he clearly doesn’t know who Geralt is because he likes Geralt’s “highlights” (shut up Lambert, the blood never stains for that long - he’s keeping the white) and despite that still seems to genuinely...like him? Which is confusing enough that Geralt doesn’t order him to his knees on the spot like he would anyone else and instead keeps coming back just to - talk. Yeah, he’s confused too.

Talking aside, one evening when Jaskier locks the door early and flips the sign to “closed” Geralt has no objections whatsoever. Especially not when Jaskier saunters over to perch himself on the bar in front of Geralt; legs spread further than strictly necessarily. Their lips meet (Geralt was right, those lips do have better uses) and he grips the boy's thigh and yanks him closer and feels...a blade pushed against his throat.

So. Guess Jaskier has figured out who he is then, huh. Except what kind of crazy fuck finds out he’s been flirting with a hitman and then decides that the thing to do is to lock yourself in a room alone and threaten him???

...apparently the kind that Geralt’s cock is into.

Normally he’d just kill Jaskier then and there, but before he can move the boy traces his lips against Geralt’s ear and murmurs “I rather think this neighborhood has gone downhill - don’t you, my dear? No appreciation for local establishments. Why, this pub has been here for decades and yet most nights we get only a handful of guests. A shame,” he tisks, “If only someone of...influence, could encourage the community to buy local”.

Geralt should probably do some soul-searching about why being threatened seems to do it for him, but he’s a bit busy at the moment. Somehow he’s the one who ends up on his knees and he should definitely make Jaskier move that blade except Gods he’s never been this hard in his life.

After that Jaskier is still a bartender, just not a struggling one.