#Ninja Nun fr fr

[caliphoria17]

1x04 || 2x08

Beatrice making the sign of the cross as she annihilates her opponents

[summers0n]

LITERALLY. SUBSCRIPTION. CANCELLED.

[daisychainsandbowties]

what are your favorite pieces of sci fi and/or fantasy media? (can be either books/comics/movies)

i didn’t read many comics because i lived in a rlly small rural town & comic books were too expensive with my reading speed. i had to pick the biggest books i could to make them last or i’d end up reading the cook books again by the end of the month. also i added video games bc that’s where a lot of my fav universes are. 

books: (i could go on for 20 years but i’ll stick to a few)

wheel of time -

i got the first book i think when i was 8/9. it took me a week to get past the prologue bc i did not appreciate feeling confused but once i got to Rand & the road and the figure in the cloak i was HOOKED. i brought it to school that week & a sub teacher (legend, in hindsight) came up & was like ‘oh! that’s a great book’ and i mostly glared distrustfully at her bc teachers liked to take books off me or (hate hate) take me aside when the rest of the class were doing sums or whatever and make me read a passage to them, then drill me about the meaning of different words. i get they were trying to see if i actually had that reading level or whatever but it was mortifying. so yeah, glared at her, so sorry bc she was right. it took me years to acquire and read all of the books but been so so normal about them ever since. my favs are probably moiraine (shocker), lan, elayne (actually love her so much an unreasonable amount), mat (gender reasons) and siuan (obviously). 

the book of the ancestor -

THESE BOOKS. there are nuns in this too. they are badass ninja magic nuns and a lot of them are so so gay. it’s about the found family and a little girl called Nona who probably would bite you but she’s actually the kindest softest best person in the world. her friends are all kind of gay for her; she’s kind of gay for all her friends. there are two older nuns called Apple & Kettle who are just flagrantly massive lesbians and it’s so so funny. Apple is a poisoner & Kettle is a spy and they have just such a THING going on i adore them. this trilogy is wonderful & the magic is so cool & the character dynamics are !!!!! feral there’s a Judas character there’s rivals-to-lover/ friends-to-lover. it’s a meditation on where we find meaning and in whom and what we fight for. has everything i love love love. also like… can think of two men off the top of my head in a cast of like 40 deranged women. amazing. 

the fitz & the fool books -

got this on family holiday to Rome when i was 10. ignored rome in favour of reading this day and night. i read it three times in one week. barely stepped foot in the pool. it’s a gorgeous character-driven story. fitzchivalry farseer is ultimate himbo rep. also magical bonding with a wolf will get me every time. there are like two trilogies now. they r so good. 

the murderbot diaries -

ghdklskdsl killer robot gains sentience. just wants to watch their TV shows & be left alone. sadly, stupid humans get in stupid situation & secunit has to endure the mortifying ordeal of being known. SECUNIT i’d die for u. the novels are pretty short but there are quite a few now & each one has a new and awesome take on artificial intelligence and self-advocacy and found family and what it means to be alive. 

the broken earth trilogy -

these books ripped my heart out of my chest and i said thank you. gorgeously written. deals with rlly rlly interesting & important themes. the main character is just so cool, she’s also, like, an older woman with kids but she’s the hero and the main character and i think that’s kind of awesome. the magic SLAPS. it’s plate tectonics babey. 

the black magician trilogy -

these & wot were my gateway to the fantasy genre fr fr. my friend’s mom bought her the first one and she fobbed it off on me (we were 9. she was only interested in this webside called Howrse where you pretended to own horses??) i got locked outside my house after walking home from hers and spent two hours tucked into a narrow nook outside the back door while it bucketed rain down around me. best two hours of my life. first canon queer rep i ever read. there r a bunch of trilogies now. great stuff on healing magic & sonea is so stubborn i love that for her. don’t let anyone reason with you darling. 

movies:

star wars: yes yes yes we know that casper likes star wars. but casper LOVES star wars. obi-wan is my favourite character in the prequels. in the og trilogy probably han solo (i am not immune to THAT), but also as i got older Luke Skywalker too. c3po for that bitch boy energy. i owe him a lot. there is only one movie in the third trilogy & i love Finn. shame they never made the last two movies. 

pirates of the caribbean: ELIZABETH SWAN. we can all blame her for my lesbian behaviour. we can all blame will turner for my gender. 

the alien movies: 1 & 2 mostly, but i will watch the others with my eyes. i can’t help myself. lots of blood & gore = casper happy. blood + actual good storytelling is like porn with plot to me but i will take porn without plot. i am a simple creature. i loved NEWT because talking can be evil sometimes and also living for weeks in a deserted compound with a killer robot - what?? like it’s hard?? obvs Ripley is a legend. bush representation. 

lotr: i love the books too but i grew up on the movies & my uncle only loaned me his 3-in-1 version when i was 10. i don’t know what to say don’t ever talk to me about boromir don’t ever talk to me about gimli and legolas don’t EVER talk to me about sam or frodo. unless you are prepared for a sleeping-beauty type situation where you blink and your kingdom has fallen into darkness bc i’ve been talking for 35 years. 

i LOVE the movie Arrival: linguistics & aliens, non-linearity of the narrative. CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP. it’s the good tasty stuff. also mood when she arrives to teach & there are like 4 people and she’s like ‘hmm. okay.’ that’s every day of my life teaching obscure bs. i also kind of want her house. badly. and LISTEN the short story is also good but i rlly like the weird feral energy she had going on in the movie. sign me up so fast for a deranged woman in stem. (she’s in linguistics but let me have my joke. it’s basically math)

video games

mass effect: if you were here with me on tumblr in 2014 1. i’m sorry and 2. you know that liara t’soni is my wife and i’d die for her. these games gave me the most severe brainrot. no i cannot ever be mean to anyone ever but i do push that guy off the Dantius tower in ME2 because it’s funny. Aria t’Loak can [redacted] me if she wants. but yeaaaah. these games are amazing and i still genuinely burst into tears every time Leaving Earth comes on my playlist. there’s just something abt it. played the game on rec of my hot physics teacher. to nobody’s surprise. my favs are Liara (going to tell you humiliating anecdote now. one time i was talking loudly to my friend in my room while playing ME and i said ‘hey, that’s my girlfriend’ loudly and my mom burst in like !!!! YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND I WANT TO MEET HER. imagine her disappointment when it was a collection of pixels on my tv. she was like ‘…. cas. go outside.’) i also like Jack, Miranda (love a woman who is mean to me), WREX BOI, tali bc i want to smooch her helmet and because of that time she gets drunk it’s so funny. i like garrus too okay but my friend never shut up about him so i was sick of him in the same way she was sick of Brynjolf after the 500th time i said he could [redacted]. 

jak and daxter: aaaaahhh. the mild child neglect game. basically my mum got this when i was a toddler & one time got so engrossed trying to cross Fire Canyon she let me fall asleep in my walker. i was fine but my dad never let her or me or anyone forget about it. it’s his measure for how good things are. ‘oh, is it fall asleep in your walker good?’ i think i learned my motor skills playing this game. my hands were sucky clumsy bastards so actually it helped. i was bad at it for so long but now i can 100% the game without dying once in about 3 hours. not speedrun territory but still. it’s just!!! visually incredible. the story is so funny. whatever gender Jak has i want. Daxter was my comedic role-model so you can see how that turned out for me. it’s totally worth watching Jak & Daxter (the whole trilogy) on YT or playing it. the games of all time to me. the kind of fantasy worlds i create are still massively influenced by this. also Jak didn’t speak for the first game so he was autism rep to me as a kid even tho i had only bouts of being non-verbal & other times never shutting tf up. 

ratchet & clank: same vein as jak & daxter. made by naughty dog who yes also made TLOU. so funny, so visually stunning. A Crack in Time is the best game come and fight me. but also LOVED Rift Apart bc one character had a prosthetic limb & she was rlly rlly cool. idk the sci-fi world in Ratchet and Clank is basically a shitpost but it’s also so gorgeous and so fun and makes no sense but (Daniel Craig voice) compels me though. i love the second and third games also and ALSO tools of destruction. HAS AMAZING MUSIC. such bopping. best track is probably novalis imo. 

horion zero dawn: this is more recent. drives me insane. there are kind of mechanical dinosaurs and you have a bow and arrow and you fight them and Aloy is so sarcastic and so clever and so (looks into the camera like she’s on the office) about everything. it’s an amazing world & i love her little found family and the BIG ‘go the fuck to sleep’ energy she has. so stubborn love that for her. 

pokemon: like i said. neighbour wanted to play GTA on PS2 without traumatising me so gave me his red gameboy and pokemon gold. then i learned to read. got sapphire for my 7th christmas + the GameBoy Advanced SP. got every game since then & I JUST LOVE POKEMON. it’s THE autism game (sorry stardew. sucks to suck) you collect little guys and you battle and you walk around and you shiny hunt and there are like 900 different pokemon now. i mean we all know pokemon anyway but yeah i was obsessed my whole life. wanted to be ash ketchum i love his attitude imo he’s a very ava silva character and i like how he says “i like carrots and peppers and bugs” he’s so valid for that.

skyrim: hehehehe. 2011. got this for christmas based on the cinematic trailer (god’s strongest soldier i am not) and was so scared of the draugr i emerged out of my room at 3am on st-stephen’s day in a pose like i was holding a greatsword WIHOUT REALISING i was doing it. i git good at the game tho & learned to mod. aaaaahhhh it’s one of my fav worlds to get lost in. my mum sent me this text when i texted her a pic of the official skyrim guidebook

[antique-traveler]

i remember you mentioning you’re planning on writing trans matt, and i’m so excited. trans matt is so special to me and i feel like he isn’t written enough. like if u squint hard enough you can act like matt’s scars are top surgery scars. like i fr believe that foggy would get curious one day and go through ALL of matt’s scars with him (kinda like that one scene in season two with elektra) maybe in college or sometime right after they just met

anon this was such a good idea god i loved writing this so much. the other trans!matt piece is still very much in the planning stage rn (also i'm debating if i want it to be mattfoggy or xreader, lmk y'all's thoughts) but thank you for giving me an excuse to write something kinda short and sweet :-D

2k, T, warnings: slight internalized transphobia, references to sex but not nsfw

[note: foggy's reception to matt coming out is definitely kinda clumsy, but i wanna let y'all know it's not transphobic. i just figure that it's 2012 and he's probably not very educated on modern gender theory, yknow?]

Matt’s gotta know he’s hot, right? Sighted or not, surely he knows that every member of the human race swoons at his biceps and jawline and smile. Foggy knows that if he had muscles like that, he’d never put on a shirt, ever, but somehow Matt seems almost… self conscious of his body. 

Granted, they’ve only known each other a few weeks, so Matt could still be getting over some new roomie shyness, but Matt’s not shy about anything else, is the thing. He doesn’t hold back when he complains about his professors, he gladly circles an arm around Foggy’s shoulders when they stumble home together after a long night of drinking. Despite all that, though, Foggy’s still only ever seen Matt shirtless, like, twice. Foggy had only gotten a brief glimpse of Matt’s fucking six pack abs before he turned around to pull a sweatshirt over his head.

He’s obviously smokin’, Foggy already knows that, even if his hips are maybe a little wider than the average underwear model, but Foggy notices something else, too: Matt’s got scars. He’s not covered in them, Foggy only counted four or five, but they’re certainly noticeable. There are a couple thin, white ones on his back, the line running across his shoulder and collarbone near his neck, and the dark, diagonal line just to the right of Matt’s belly button. Most noticeable, though, are the two long, faded lines that span over his ribcage, sort of underlining each of his well-defined pecs. 

Foggy’s not one to judge, and they certainly do not detract from Matt’s hotness, but Foggy knows that that amount of scars is pretty rare for a run-of-the-mill twenty-two-year-old, and he’s seen enough horror movies about evil nuns to be a little skeptical of the orphanage where Matt grew up. 

Foggy tries to bring it up one night in early October when they’re both getting ready for bed and he sees another flash of Matt’s muscular bare back.

“Hey, Mattothy?” Foggy asks, trying to sound as casual and nonchalant as possible.

Matt pushes his head through the top of his hoodie and is adorably unaware of how messy his hair is when he turns to face Foggy. “Yes, Foggward?”

“What’s the deal with all the scars, man? Are you in, like, a secret ninja fight club or something?”

Matt pales a little bit before letting out the most forced laugh Foggy’s ever heard. “No, it’s a… it’s a long story, Fog. Maybe I’ll tell you later.”

Matt definitely won’t be telling him later, Foggy knows that much. Clearly he doesn’t want to share with the class, though, so Foggy begrudgingly lets it go for now. “Alright, bud,” he says after a moment of raising an eyebrow that Matt can’t see. “Well, I’m calling it a night.”

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” Matt says with a reserved smile.

Foggy flicks off the lamp on his nightstand and lays back on his pillow, trying not to form theories about all Matt’s scars as he drifts off.

><><><

Two nights ago, Matt gave Foggy the best blowjob he’s ever given, and he’s been riding the high ever since. He knew that Foggy was attracted to him, of course. Knew it from the moment he stepped into their dorm for the first time and all of Foggy’s blood immediately flew south for the winter, but to find out that that attraction was more than just physical, that’s the part that Matt didn’t expect. Matt’s never had a friend like Foggy before, and he’s pretty sure that for a while he just thought that all best friends gave each other dreams about getting married and retiring to a lakeside cabin, but now he knows better.

This thing between them is so new it’s barely even a “thing”, just kissing and giddy laughter, but it’s still the best thing that’s ever happened to Matt. Better than putting on his first testosterone patch, better than legally changing his name to Matthew Michael, even better than running his fingers over his chest for the first time once the bandages were off. Remembering all those moments, though, reminds Matt of the one thing that might ruin this amazing new thing he and Foggy have between them. For now, Foggy hasn’t actually asked to sleep with him yet, for now, Foggy hasn’t discovered the box of T patches tucked away under Matt’s bed, for now, Foggy doesn’t know that Matthew Michael Murdock has only been Matthew Michael Murdock for three years.

So anyway, two days after clumsily stuttering through a confession and smiling into a first kiss and kneeling slowly in front of Foggy, the two of them are getting ready for bed. Matt’s only just pulled his hoodie off over his head when Foggy speaks up from his bed.

“Hey, Matty,” he says before Matt can put on a sleep shirt. “Come over here.”

Matt awkwardly holds up a t-shirt and quietly asks, “Can I just–”

“Nope,” Foggy laughs. “I don’t think you know how hot you are if you’re that eager to put a shirt back on. You do realize that six packs are actually incredibly attractive, right?”

Matt feels heat rush to his face and makes his way to Foggy’s bed. “Uh, I guess? I didn’t really know if what I could feel was very visible, in my defense.”

Foggy just scoffs and pulls Matt onto the bed with him, wriggling around until they’re both laying side-by-side, facing each other. Once they’re both settled in, Foggy pushes forward and kisses Matt gently, like a compliment. Matt smiles as he pulls away, and he can feel Foggy’s eyes roaming over his body.

After a moment, Foggy’s breath catches and he finally asks, “Will you actually tell me where you got all these scars?” Matt’s heart drops and before he can object, Foggy cuts back in. “And you’ve already evaded the question once. You’re not ‘long story’-ing your way out of this one, mister.”

Matt feels his mouth go dry and tries to keep his cool. He hesitates for a second, then shifts on the bed so he’s lying on his back, face still pointed at Foggy. If Foggy can’t see the two on his back, maybe Matt won’t have to tell him about Stick. He cautiously raises a hand to run over the scar across his shoulder.

“This one,” he starts, “is from my accident. It wasn’t very deep, but it was still too long to go without stitches.” The breath that Foggy lets out is shallow and sad, so Matt attempts to lighten the mood as he describes the one on his belly. “This one comes with a very exciting and dramatic backstory. I got it when I faced off against an evil foe named appendicitis.”

Foggy thankfully laughs at that, but soon he goes quiet. “What about the ones on your chest?” He lays a gentle finger on the puckered skin below Matt’s nipple and Matt feels his pulse skyrocket and bile threaten to gather at the back of his throat.

He’d hoped he’d get a little bit more time with Foggy before telling him, hoped he’d get just a couple of weeks of being loved by someone who viewed him as a man without question. He knows that everything’s about to change now, though. If he’s lucky, Foggy will just let him down easy, they can finish out the semester as distant, awkward roommates, and then Foggy will request a room change for the spring term. If he’s not lucky… well, Matt doesn’t want to think about what will happen if he’s not lucky.

Foggy must notice Matt’s demeanor change, because he shifts a little closer to him on the bed and rests a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay, Matt? I’m sorry if I crossed a line or something, you don’t have to talk about it if–”

“No, Foggy,” Matt cuts him off, “it’s okay. I, um… this is something you need to know about, before this thing we have goes any further.” Matt takes a deep breath and turns his face  up towards the ceiling. “I’m transgender. The scars are from when I had my… my breasts removed.”

Foggy goes completely still next to him, so Matt swallows the lump in his throat and tries to continue as confidently as he can. “I came out a few years ago, but I’ve always been this way, you know? I just couldn’t really talk about it at St. Agnes. My dad left me some money, and you know I’ve picked up some tutoring jobs, and a lot of that money goes towards…” Matt trails off and clears his throat. He’s almost done, just a little bit more and then he can let Foggy be disgusted. “So I– I came out sophomore year of undergrad, and I changed my name, and I have these patches I wear with hormones in them. I, um… sorry that this probably isn’t what you were expecting.”

Foggy doesn’t say a word for a moment, just breathes slowly through his open mouth. In a small voice, he finally says, “You, um, you have a… a bulge, though?”

Matt feels the weight of his packer from where it rests against him in his boxer-briefs and blushes what must be a bright red. “It’s fake. It’s a silicone thing so I can, you know, use a urinal and stuff.” When Foggy stays silent, Matt finally turns his face back towards him and feels a rebel tear slip out of the corner of his eye. He wishes he’d kept his glasses on. “Foggy? Can you please say something?”

“Matty, I don’t–” Foggy cuts himself off, then moves to prop himself up on his elbow. “You didn’t think I’d wanna end things over this, did you?” 

Matt’s jaw drops open and he flushes again. “I, uh… kinda?”

“Is this why you didn’t want me to… reciprocate, the other night?”

“Yeah,” Matt admits before pushing himself up to lean against Foggy’s headboard.

Foggy sighs and seems to weigh his words. “I’ve never met anyone else who’s… like you. I’m definitely surprised, but… Matty, I really like you. I think you’re smart and funny and kind and, like, really hot, and none of that changes just ‘cause you’re– ‘cause you used to be–” Foggy stops mid-sentence and lets out a heavy breath. “Shit, I’m probably saying this all wrong. What I mean is that I care about you a lot, Matt, and I wanna keep doing all the… kissing and stuff. I don’t care if you don’t have a dick or if you used to have boobs or anything like that.”

Matt laughs wetly and lets the relief wash over him. “Thank you, Fog.”

“Is it weird that I said ‘boobs’?” Foggy asks with a shaky laugh. “I feel like ‘boobs’ was an inappropriate word for the gravity of this conversation.”

“No,” Matt gets through in between giggles, “you’re an adult, you’re allowed to say ‘boobs’. It’s not like I have them anymore, anyway.”

Foggy smiles and gets a little more serious again. “I’m attracted to you as a man, okay, Matt? Like, you were the confirmation that I’m not straight. I wanna make sure you know that.”

“Thank you, Foggy,” Matt says again, still smiling. Foggy leans over and kisses him hungrily and Matt kisses right back. Matt feels Foggy’s lips on his own, and every movement feels like a promise, like he’s pressing Matt’s name into his own mouth.

Foggy pulls away after a few minutes and lays a hand on Matt’s hip. “You know, if you’re okay with me going, uh, down there, I’d be happy to… return the favor from the other day.”

Matt blushes for the hundredth time that night and his whole body starts to fill with warmth. This is what he thought he’d never get, this is the dream scenario that he barely ever let himself consider for fear of disappointing himself. He nods as Foggy starts to undo his fly, and drops his head back down on the pillow. 

Now this is the best thing to ever happen to Matt.