#Normal little girls were obsessed with horses and Barbie dolls. I was obsessed with Titanic.

[shima-draws]

This whole thing with the Titan submersible has revived my morbid childhood fascination with the Titanic story. Actually no I wouldn’t call it a fascination I’d probably call it an unhealthy obsession. Listen to me,

I saw the Titanic movie for the first time when I was 7. Do not ask me why my mom allowed me to watch it at that age. But from that point on my life changed FOREVER, dude. I’d watch Titanic on repeat. I had my grandmother sew me a dress like Rose’s (and I still fucking have it!! It is literally sitting in my closet). I made my parents take me to the Titanic museum in Florida. They got me Rose’s diamond necklace. I wore that and the dress to my second grade pictures. I have a school photo of me dressed up like Rose fucking Dawson from the 1997 film Titanic. I can literally grab this out of my closet right now bc fun fact I still have that photo too!! I tried to grow out my hair really long like Rose’s. My mom rescued a pregnant cat that was living in a pipe on our street, and when she had kittens I literally named two of them Jack and Rose. I think even at one point I tried imitating the scene where Jack drew Rose and tried drawing her myself (with her titties out and everything! At the tender young age of 7). Rose might have been my very first bisexual awakening but let’s not dwell on that. Anyway I had a Problem.

Flash forward to now. Some 20-ish years later. I hear about the Titan submersible. Before I know it I’m absorbing every single news article I can find. I am drowning in tumblr memes. I rewatched the Titanic movie today (and holy fuck it’s SO much darker than I remember??? WHY did my mom let me watch it at that age holy shit). I am being dragged kicking and screaming back into a hyperfixation I didn’t even realize I HAD. And it’s not even a good hyperfixation. I hate it here. Why was 7 year old me so invested in a movie that isn’t even accurate to the real historical event. My media obsession started with Titanic. Will it end with Titanic? Is this meant to haunt me forever?? Will I be on my deathbed thinking about Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio?? Who knows! I sure fucking don’t!!