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castielmacleod · 2 years

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Fics I will never write: IT GETS BETTER

Set in a canon divergent season 11, It Gets Better is a short fic exploring the abusive relationship between Cas and Dean, from Cas’ perspective. Traumatised from being nearly killed by the man he loves, struggling with agoraphobia, anxiety attacks, and depression, a broken-winged angel contemplates what it is he wants so he can decide if this is working or not. Character study with themes of trauma, self-worth, unrequited love, the paralysing effects of being trapped in an abusive relationship, and healing.

#Fics I will never write #Safeantidestiel #My posts #Not that I’m obligated to spill my guts on tunglr dot com but this would be coming from a place of authenticity.#If I could write it in the first place that is #This would be very depressing but it ends with Cas learning to play piano as an outlet #The scene is very clear in my head. Cas finally works up the courage to venture outside the bunker and ends up at this little pub #that has a piano and he goes and sits at it and finds a tune he likes #The pub is mostly empty except for the bartender really. And she comes over to talk to him because she plays piano too #And Cas says he’s actually never played before but *some ridiculous angel thing about music and notes and math* that let him figure it out #And it goes over the bartender’s head but she ends up teaching him the heart & soul duet and they play it together #Then she closes up the bar and tells him goodbye and to keep well and he stands there outside the door until she’s out of sight and then #breaks down crying.#And anyway some more things happen and then one day when Dean is out hunting Cas decides to leave the bunker for good #I am putting this in my fics I’ll never write series but I actually could see myself pushing to write this one. It’s meant to be short #Like not multi chapter or anything. And I need to get some of this shite off my chest anyway #Like I need to put how their relationship makes me feel into words beyond ranting tumblr posts you know #<— Cas and Dean’s relationship I mean #Tw abuse

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