#OH WAIT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO MOVE AGAIN IN LIKE A MONTH PSYCH

[symphonic-scream]

🫂

Hm

Here's some Queers stuff

Specifically, Makoto and Haru, trying to have a kid

So science? Out the window. Keep that in mind

Makoto: hey, Tae. Can I ask you a question, as my doctor?

Tae: sure Sprout, what's up?

Makoto: and you can't tell Sae

Tae: confidentiality, 100%

Makoto: is there anyway that, at this stage, we could do something to get a useable, sample?

Tae: what

Makoto: Haru wants a baby. She admitted while a little drunk on our wedding night she wanted it to be ours. I, haven't told her I heard her. I just, want to know if, I can still give this to her

Tae: ...I'll talk around, get some ideas. I'll do my best, Sprout. The two of you deserve a shot

Makoto gets a call a month later. Tae has a fertility doctor there (in casual clothes), and he lays out his plan with her. They'd half her Estrogen for a bit, and give her another hormone as well. It's technically a female hormone too, but. In a male body, it produces more little swimmers

Makoto: ...I want to try it

Tae: great. And this one is a pill this time

Makoto: oh thank god

Another month later, Tae and the dude check in. He thinks he can work with this, and tells her to let Haru in on it

Haru sobs into her wife's shoulder. There was a chance? And Makoto, was willing to do something like that for her? It meant the world

Haru: what about you? Your shots...

Makoto: I've felt fine so far. I've never been like, horribly dysphoric. My voice won't just drop drastically, and it's only halving it. I'm fine love, especially if I can make you happy

Two and a half years of monthly visits. Two and a half years of monthly results, being told they need to try again. Over and over, heads leaned together quietly in the car, parked. In their own lot. Not going up to their home yet

Then, late May, right after Hifumi moved in, Tae laughs triumphantly from the other room. Makoto watches as her and her doctor friend hug in celebration through the door, before coming to tell them the good news

Tae: Haru, your counts are consistent with early pregnancy. We can't guarantee it'll stick at this stage, so i want you to relax, take it easy, let your body use it's energy to get that little one to a stable stage

Other doctor: next month? We should be able to do a little ultrasound, look at your baby. Congratulations you two, looks like all our hard work has paid off

Haru's sobbing on the little cot, and Makoto is crying, hugging her all happy.

Haru: we did it,,, Mako, we're gonna have a baby!

Makoto: I've never been so happy in my whole life,,

Tae: neither of you should take the train, I'll give you a ride back to Kichijoji. I'll leave you with a good vitamin for Haru to take every morning with breakfast, to make sure we're doing everything for this to stick

Makoto begins her routine of sitting on Haru's legs are she reads a bit before bed, her (borrowed from Makoto) shirt rolled up to reveal her belly

"Hey squirt, this is your mom. The other one, since Haru's got you in there." Traces the bit of pudge Haru has, adoration in her eyes. "I can't wait to meet you, little miracle. Neither can your mama, but she gets to have you now. I can wait while you two bond"

Haru: Mako, Tae said it might not fully take,

Makoto: I, working towards a psych doctorate-

Haru: you're on a years break from your studies

Makoto: not important. I believe, they'll have a better chance if I show em a little love. Your love is what gets me through the day, so

Once they get that confirmation that baby looks like it'll make it, Makoto is asked if she wants to switch back to her regular doses

Makoto: ...if we decide to try for another, would I just have to go through this again? Or would staying on this course be better?

Haru: Makoto-

Tae: honestly? Stay like this for now. As long as you still feel fine, this is safer in that regard. It took so long for this one to go through, there's no guarantee it'll happen again if you stop

Haru: no, she's going back-

Makoto: so you only want one?

Haru:

Makoto: I'll stay on this course. The second I feel bad, I'll go back. I promise. But I don't wanna be the reason we can't have anothrr

Haru, staring at her wife without her shirt, humming and swaying while cradling their son to her chest, a look of complete adoration on her face: oh, we are so having at least another baby

[georgiaswarr]

jimmy kaga-ricci part 1 (part 2 / part 3)

beautiful faces - declan mckenna

if there ever was a screen adaptation of iwbft i can 100% imagine this song playing while the boys are walking the red carpet at the wcmas, when jimmy is surrounded by stardom and “beautiful faces”. however, even though he has great ambitions, he is also pretty disillusioned by the world of fame, the power games, the fake friends and the stress - deep down he’d rather just stay inside and, for once, relax

i say a little prayer - aretha franklin

i like to imagine this as a song about jimmy’s love for rowan and lister, and how in relation to his faith, praying for them is one of his love languages

ashley - halsey

hoooooo boy, this song pretty much has jimmy’s entire arc shoved into 3 minutes; “standing now, in the mirror that i built myself / and i can't remember why the decision wasn't mine / but it seems i'm only clingin' to an idea now” - jimmy feeling like their original dream about starting a band, their childhood passion and wonder has been lost along the way, they’re only clinging to an idea “someday, when i burst into flames / i'll leave you the dust, my love / hope a bit of it'll be enough to help remember the / days when we came to this place / i told you i'd spill my guts, i left you to clean it up / i'm bursting out of the” - his dreams about breaking away; however, the fact that the line is sort of cut off abruptly shows how he isn’t quite ready to burst out yet, not until friday “is it really that strange if i always wanna change?” - rowan and lister don’t understand why he wants to leave the band “i told you i'd ride this out / it's gettin' harder every day / somehow, i'm burstin' out of myself” - in the second chorus we finally have that catharsis of him actually running away and deciding to do what makes him happy

humongous - declan mckenna

this is mostly about jimmy’s relationship to the media (including social media). he’s been very closely scrutinised for years now, and things like racism, transphobia, the j*wan photo, fuckin paul marks, even the bliss story have taken a toll on his psyche - and that doesn’t even begin to cover his paranoia that is strongly fuelled by the people constantly watching his every move. the line “do you care? / i'm big, humongous, enormous and small” sounds like a cry of despair - he’s made out to be this huge, untouchable god-like figure, while in reality he feels small and easily breakable, but nobody in the media cares about his real feelings

sweaters - blanks

jimmy and rowan wanting to have a chill evening and play splatoon or something instead of attending lister’s party

social - smallpools

same theme as sweaters. the “social” here could also be taken as part of the bigger picture of fame - “if you can hear this now / bow out, save yourself” could be jimmy warning others about the dangers of fame, so to speak

roaring 20s - panic! at the disco

rule of threes; jimmy feeling anxious at the party, surrounded by people he doesn’t know or care about, wanting to go home to his grandad, etc

lavish living - carey st

this song reminds me of the ark’s london apartment; first of all, it’s huge and lavish, as the title says. then there’s also several lines in the song that remind me of various scenes; “you're so upset so what's the point of me right now” - jimmy feeling helpless after the bliss story broke and not knowing how to cheer rowan up “met a fibber yeah you met him last month / he told you things and he said it wasn't love / you're so obsessed so what's the point of us // pull away from the party / i don't think that this is meant to be / but me oh my oh make me go crazy” - the party on tuesday, magnet making a move on jimmy, bicci undertones, etc

demons - hayley kiyoko

“it's creeping in, it's gonna get me by the end of the night / i'm sinking deeper, still, i'm reaching for the end of the light / burning in the lava / you can't go and pray this type of pain away” a song describing jimmy’s anxiety and paranoia

i spend too much time in my room - the band camino

stolen from @kindaorangey‘s jimmy playlist (+explanation), this song strongly highlights jimmy’s inner turmoil, him overthinking things, etc

hero - family of the year

“baby needs some protection / but i'm a kid like everyone else” jimmy didn’t ask to be worshipped. he often says that he doesn’t get why everyone looks up to him, “loves” him, etc when all he is is a normal guy

it ain’t me babe - nancy sinatra

similarly to hero, here we have jimmy trying to tell his fans that he isn’t their saviour, he isn’t the one they “want” and “need”

the archer - taylor swift

“i wake in the night, i pace like a ghost / the room is on fire, invisible smoke” you know on wednesday when jimmy comes back from his escape to the park and has a panic attack? this song feels a lot like that; it’s his mistakes and insecurities, the world and other people trying to tear him down, all of this culminating in him feeling unworthy, wondering “who could stay”, but then of course rowan is here for him, he could stay. in the end, however, the first line - “combat, i’m ready for combat” - is repeated, which in the context of iwbft could have a sinister tone - the worst is yet to come

midas - skott

this reminds me of jimmy wondering why the label, their management, and even lister and rowan actually want to go through with the new contract, why they want to be bigger and richer. there’s a lesson about the greed and capitalism of the music industry in there

some nights - fun.

“this is it, boys, this is war / what are we waiting for? / why don't we break the rules already?” fame feels like a war to jimmy by now, which is reflected by the joan of arc and the soldier motif in iwbft. on multiple occasions, he asks rowan and lister to just break away from all of it, rules and conventions be damned “so this is it? / i sold my soul for this? / washed my hands of that for this? / i miss my mom and dad for this? / no, when i see stars, when i s- / when i see stars, that's all they are / when i hear songs, they sound like a swan” once again we have jimmy’s realisation that fame isn’t worth it. he doesn’t see the glamour that everybody claims fame brings. additionally, the swan metaphor refers to the fact that swans only sing once, right before they die, which is in tune with the death motif in iwbft, everything feeling very close to the end additionally, @kindaorangey made some excellent points here

lifeline - we three

so far jimmy has mostly been going with the flow, not putting up much of a fight to get what he wants, letting other people “shiver, feel it, take it, break it, make it what you want and / lose it, choose it, find it , mind it, bruise it, use it how you’re gonna” - it being his life, basically. of course that changes on friday but i’m getting ahead of myself

sometimes - h.e.r.

“i had a plan, i had it mapped out / i knew where i was going when i left out / oh, you couldn't tell me that i wouldn't be there on time / i had some guarantees, i had a deadline / but now i know things change for better or worse / you could say that i'm the same, but i ain't adjusted to all the hurt” - once again, the theme of jimmy’s childhood dreams and hopes ending up worse than he imagined

[goddessofthundathighs]

I’ll Take Yo Man

A little college Hennessy and Erik foolishness concocted by @hearteyes-for-killmonger & myself. Based on the following prompt:

Friday. The day Hennessy had been looking forward to the whole week. Erik would be home from his most recent deployment the next day and she needed to prepare for his return. She went and got her hair done, opting for a silk press to her usually springy curls. She followed that up with a well deserved pedicure and a full-set of stiletto dick grabbers, both in his favorite color on her: sunflower yellow. She was now perusing the shelves of MAC, looking to restock her dwindling supply of Snob and Saint Germain lippies and her prep + prime lip primer. The freshly cleaned diamonds in the Cuban link necklace Erik gifted her twinkled under the light of the store, attracting the attention of the young woman working. She was about 5’9, 150 pounds wet with what looked to be a 24-inch body wave weave with a lifting frontal and lipstick that clashed with her undertones. Cute, but not Hennessy. She looked Henny up and down with familiarity before her eyes finally landed on the letter E tattoo that rested on her collarbone.

“Oh, you must be the new freak of the week?”

“Excuse me?” Hennessy asked with a raised eyebrow. Erik was popular, so it was no surprise that the whole state of Massachusetts knew that he was officially off the market.

“I know that Cuban, he gave me one like it when we were fucking around. Erik?”

“Who are you?” The name tag on her chest read Brittani, but it should’ve said Bold Bitch, seeing as how she was questioning Henny like she was Erik’s mother.

“I’m Brittani. Erik and I fucked around on the regular up until about a year ago.”

Hennessy smiled as Brittani spoke, remembering the day that he stumbled on her doorstep.

"And you still on him? Baby, move on." This caused Brittani to give her the most menacing look.

“Funny, you’re bigger than his usual type.”

Oh, you one of them bitches. Salty as the everlasting fuck that a thicc bitch took the nigga you wanted.

“Any particular reason why you’re divulging this information? I’m just tryna buy some lipstick not hear your dating history.”

Brittani smirked, snatching the items from Hennessy’s hands and ringing them up aggressively.

"History tends to repeat itself. I could take your man. Easily! Look at me and look at you.”

Hennessy laughed loudly then, completely disregarding the Great Value Cyn Santana. Having been officially dating the soon-to-be King of Wakanda for a year now, she was used to slimmer, Instagram-esque women feeling loose at the lips when it came to her boyfriend. At face value, Erik was the total package. He was incredibly smart, handsome, and his sex could convert even the most devout nun. But the real Erik, the fragile lost boy who had discovered his father’s lifeless body when he was only a young boy, that was a completely different story. The real Erik was moody, mean, and when he was in Killmonger-mode, a vengeful shell of a man that cared about nobody else’s feelings but his own. It had taken some time, but Hennessy had skillfully and meticulously broken down some of the rougher areas of his psyche and had learned things about him that no one else would dream of knowing. In him, she'd found a kindred spirit. A twin flame. They had bonded over their love for marijuana and their need to escape the realities of their tragic childhoods. She'd seen him at his weakest, his ugliest, and his most tragic. They'd butt heads and found homeostasis more times in a month than most couples even saw each other. She knew no one else could handle the man she called hers and she’d be lying if she said the idea of someone trying was not comical.

“I'll tell you what. You can have him, but I guarantee after 24 hours you’ll give him back.”

“Shiiid. I know what that dick is like and I swore that if I ever got it again, I’d never let him go.”

Hennessy laughed harder as the young woman slid the bag of purchased items across the counter.

“I’ll give you 24 hours. Any longer and you're stuck with him.”

“Deal.”

-------------------------------------------

“You really out here tryna pimp a nigga, huh?” Erik asked from his place between Hennessy's legs. After having successfully broken her back on every surface of their shared apartment since he stepped foot in the door the previous day, Erik was now lazily resting on Hennessy’s belly while she massaged through his dreads. He had missed the way her plush body melted into his, much like the memory foam mattress they were currently lounging on. He loved the way their bodies fit together, like Bast had created her just for him. She was his personal Sour Patch kid, sweet and sour depending on her mood, but always soft.

“It’s only pimping if we're getting paid. Lil’ Mama said she could take you from me, so I told her she could have you. You and I both know you’ll be back.”

“You damn right. You’re my favorite brown liquor and plus, I can’t leave my Creole lady for too long. What you gonna do while I’m gone?”

Um, party? She thought to herself.

“Relax,” she said instead. Though there were experiments that needed to be done, she was going to use the day for some much needed self-care. Her hair had long since sweated out from its silky state, so she planned to wash and twist it, exfoliate and shave, and binge watch all the shows she’d missed during the week.

“You relaxed while I was gone, ma,” he pouted as he snuggled closer to her.

“No, I worked while you were gone. You know I have to keep busy so I don’t miss ya fat head ass so much.”

“You love my fat head though, boffum,” he teased as he ran his fingertips up her thighs.

“You’re disgusting,” she sneered.

“Filthy,” he called back, dipping his fingers between her thighs, drawing a soft mewl from her.

“Again?” she pouted.

“I missed my baby,” he growled before his tongue met her folds.

Here we go again.

-----------------------------------------

Erik watched Brittani's back, unimpressed by her lack of food and general unpreparedness. Hadn't she heard that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach? She sat a bowl in front of him and stuck a spoon in it like she was done.

“Bruh. What the fuck is this? I asked for shrimp and grits, not oatmeal,” Killmonger fussed from his seat at Brittani’s counter. He had been in one of his moods ever since he came over, mentally noting to curse his girlfriend out for subjecting him to such torture, and now she was trying to kill him. Immediately he began to remember why he cut Brittani off in the first place. She was cute, but that was all she had going for herself. She couldn’t cook, she wouldn’t clean, and she was always in his business and trying to go through his phone. If she wasn’t trying to force herself onto his dick then she was whining about wanting him to take her shopping and show her off, though she wasn’t much of a trophy. She couldn't even keep her wig under control. He could see the screen door material sitting on top of her forehead. Henny always put makeup on hers. He could see her in the mirror now, doing that goofy ass dance she did whenever she got a new wig, patting and parting to make sure it looked good. He looked down at his watch. 16 more hours to go. This was finna be a long day.

“That is shrimp and grits, babe. I followed the recipe and everything.” Hennessy didn’t need a recipe.

“My name is Erik,” he reminded her as he tried to lift the spoon from the bowl. “Call me babe again and I’ll slit ya throat,” he threatened, mostly serious. “Why the grits so thick? Did you devein the shrimp? Is this a shell?!” His appetite quickly diminished when he spotted a creature the size of his thumb crawl across the stovetop.

“SHIT…. I’m going to the gym,” he snarled dusting himself, suddenly paranoid.

You love me especially gentle every time // You keep me on my feet happily excited // By your cologne, your hands, your smile, your intelligence // You woo me, you court me, you tease me, you please me // You school me, give me some things to think about // Ignite me, you invite me, you co-write me, you love me, you like me // You incite me to chorus, ooh

Back at their apartment, Henny was soaking in a vanilla lavender bath while her curls deep conditioned under her large pink bonnet. Jill Scott serenaded her while the warm water soothed her aching muscles, an indication of the previous night’s activities. Her music was interrupted by her ringtone.

“Miss me already, Daddy?” she teased, putting the phone on speaker so she could finish her bath.

“This bitch got bugs bigger than me crawling around her shit. Them bitches benching 350. I’m not sleeping there tonight for them niggas to jump me in my sleep.. and I’ma beat ya ass when I get home,” he fussed, still dusting himself occasionally as he drove.

“Aww, baby it can’t be that bad,” Hennessy tried.

“She needed a recipe for shrimp and grits. Who the fuck needs a recipe for shrimp and grits?! It’s in the fuckin’ title! Damn shrimp still had shells on ‘em, the grits was hard as a fuckin’ brick… it was just a mess. Then Craig the Cockroach or whatever the fuck it was came crawling across the stove like he was lookin’ for a plate too. I had to go.”

Hennessy was a giggling mess as Erik explained his morning ordeal.

“Didn’t y’all use to fuck around? You ain’t know she had roaches?”

“I used to fuck that bitch in her driveway cuz she lived with her mama. I had no idea what the inside of that place looked like.”

“You was a dirty dick ass nigga, huh? Just sticking it in anything warm.”

“First of all, fuck you. Second of all, I’m aware of the error of my past judgement, but this is NOT the time to be making jokes. I’m distraught and you laughing. If I die in there, it’s your fault.”

“I mean, according to ya military paperwork I’m ya wife, so I’ll get a nice check.”

“Wooooooow, it really be ya own people. Just for that I’m going in ya ass with no lube tomorrow.”

“Wait, I take it back. I’m sorry. If you wanna come back sooner, handle her. Make it so she knows you're mine or help her move on. One or the other.”

“BET.” With that, the line went dead and Hennessy already knew which option he chose. She had basically given Killmonger permission to hurt this young lady’s feelings, and boy did he intend to do just that.

-----------------------------------------

Hennessy was mid happy baby pose when her phone rang again, this time with an unfamiliar number. She cleared her throat and pulled out the French, just in case it was a bill collector or one of Erik’s more shady acquaintances.

“Bonjour, Aurélie.” She was met with the sound of soft sniffles, followed by her boyfriend’s voice roaring in the background.

“The fuck you crying for? You knew what that shit looked like when you woke up this morning. Didn’t even try to run a brush through it. That ain’t what Beyoncé meant when she said she woke up like this.”

“Please come get this nigga,” Brittani said between sniffles. She had had it. Ever since Erik had returned from the gym he had been tearing into her. Hennessy knew it would happen and she almost felt bad for releasing the beast. Almost.

"I would’ve kissed you good morning just to be nice but I went through your bathroom cabinets and you ain't got no mouthwash. Your toothbrush look like it was originally owned by George Washington and your breath smells like halitosis personified. And don’t get me started on Craig the Cockroach. That nigga probably twerked his ass all over your lips and your tongue the way you were snoring. Why you sleep with your mouth open when you got roaches?”

“That’s actually a valid question. That can’t be healthy,” Henny finally spoke up.

“That nigga Craig pay rent or is he like Bruhman from the fif flo? This his house, huh? You just his pet human.”

“Nigga!” Hennessy exclaimed through the phone. She had been successful at keeping her laughs at bay, but was done when he called her the roach’s pet human.

“I can’t do this anymore, you can have him back.”

“It’s only been 9 hours, sis. I thought you said you’d never let that dick go.”

"So now you don't wanna be with me because I'm telling yo triflin’ ass the truth? And who said she was getting dick?! Nah, you ain’t about to put no voodoo curses on me for sticking my dick in the Men In Black bug. I try to bust a nut and my shit just fall off. Hell nah.”

“Just get ya shit and go, nigga. Shamu can have you.” Time seemed to stop once those words left her lips. Even Craig the Cockroach disappeared. It was one thing to disrespect him, but his woman? All bets were off when it came to her and Brittani was about to learn this the hard way. With deadly stealth Erik zipped from across the room to right in front of her face. He wiggled the phone from Brittani’s grasp and ended the call before putting his face as close to hers as his nostrils would allow.

"You fix them crusty lips to call my woman Shamu one more time.. and I'll throw you in the ocean with Bruhman chained to your ankle like a weight." Brittani remained silent, only nodding her head fervently when he was done.

"Nah, you know what? That's not good enough. Call my girl back. Yeah, call her."

“Yeeesss?” Hennessy sang from the other end of the phone.

"The bit-, I mean Brittani got something to say to you. Go 'head."

Brittani hesitated, Erik's eyes giving her the option to cooperate or face consequences. He'd taken pictures of her dirty stove capturing a roach on the move and was threatening to post it on a MAC forum along with a short video of her asleep with a roach on her forehead. She decided it would be best for her to cooperate and cut her losses.

"Hi, Hennessy. I'm sorry for what I said to you and you were right, I couldn't handle him. I guess..," she wavered briefly, "I guess you're a better woman than me all-around. I could never. I see that now."

Erik cleared his throat quietly.

"Oh, a-and you're very beautiful, very statuesque and curvaceous. I wish I looked like you--"

“You don’t have to lie, now, sweetheart. You don’t wish you looked like me, you’re only saying that because you’re afraid of what he’ll do to you if I give the word. However, let this be a lesson to you. Just because you think you’re better than someone, that may not always be the case. Even if this little experiment had been his own choice, he’d still come back to me because he knows that no woman will ever treat him the way that I do. I’m one in a million and he’d be stupid to let me go.”

"So I can come home now?"

“Of course you can, Daddy. I got homemade crab cakes and lobster man n cheese waiting for you as well as two freshly pearled blunts of some new shit. I even felt generous and made a bananas foster cheesecake.” Erik’s mouth watered when she mentioned the dessert he fell in love with when they visited her parents the previous summer.

"A nigga need a bath, a nap, and a backrub. I ain't get no sleep. I had one eye open all night."

“You can have whatever you like, baby. My schedule is clear for the next week.”

“Shiiiit, I’m on my way.. And be naked when I get there.”

Horny ass nigga.

"Take notes," he said to Brittani as he hung up. “And tell my nigga Craig he can have them clothes. I ain’t tryna bring none of y’all kids home.”

TAGS: @panthergoddessbast @amethyst1993 @vikkidc @blackpantherismyish @youreadthatright @mareethequeen @princessstevens @bartierbakarimobisson @madamslayyy @nickidub718 @chaneajoyyy @blowmymbackout @muse-of-mbaku @killmongersgurl @thehomierobbstark @forbeautyandlife @wakanda-inspired @thadelightfulone @purple-apricots @trevantesbrat