#OR it is an abuse tactic where your partner showers you with affection‚ pressures you quickly towards intense commitment and then gets mad
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I stg if I see one more person call the goddamn honeymoon phase of a relationship "love bombing" I'm going to chew through the earth's crust
#love bombing is one of two fucking things#it is either a cult tactic in which members ''feign friendship'' in order to manipulate interested parties into becoming more invested#OR it is an abuse tactic where your partner showers you with affection‚ pressures you quickly towards intense commitment and then gets mad#at you if you pay attention to anything else#love bombing is NOT when your partners behaves highly affectionately towards you at the beginning of a relationship#infatuation exists! people latch strongly onto new things! they've probably idealized you at least a little bit!#it takes time for people to adjust to a new layer of relationship#if it is not part of the abuse pattern of idealization devalue discard then it isnt love bombing#and devalue doesn't mean just losing interest. it means shit like belittling you or otherwise diminishing you in order to control you#ok sorry thats the end of my rant im just. so tired. of the pop pschology pathologization of relationships these days#most people aren't abusive. they're just toxic. they're making mistakes and accidentally hurting people#im not saying you shouldn't feel hurt. it sucks when that shit happens accidentally! your feelings fucking matter!#but understanding intent is important to better protecting yourself in the future#bc the behaviors that protect you from abuse and the behaviors that protect you from accidents are Different. you need both#okay ill shut tf up now
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