#Our worst arguments where we get genuenly angry and scream at each other are over art analysis

[fipindustries]

On the value of biting bullets

As llong as you are not on a debate against an opponent whose goal is to make you look bad, I cannot overstate how good it can be to bite bullets. By biting bullets I mean admitting to things that sound or make you look bad as long as they are not outright false.

It may feel like you are just throwing blood on the ocean for the sharks to pounce on you but it can sometimes, surprisingly, appaciguate the other person. It can work as an assurance for them that they are not crazy and most importantly that you are not crazy, that you can see what that other person sees.

It can also be a bit of a power move to shamelessly admit to something, it can disarm an opponent who is expecting to browbeat you with guilt or shame. If you are un bothered by some label or position they are trying to give you it can demonstrate that they have nothing but moral outrage and no real argument.

But also generally is just a good way of helping the conversation move along and make sure everyone is on the same page.

One example of this was when I was arguing about veganism with my gf (she's vegan and I'm not). Since I'm not stupid I freely admitted that yeah, industrial farming and slaughtering cause uncountable, abject suffering for animals of a monstrous nature and scale. I also admitted that I didn't care. That animal suffering, in my account, is just not morally relevant. That my morality extends as far as humans go and not much farther. That I am more than happy to eat meat knowing the horrors that had to happen for me to eat it.

At first she was a bit concerned about this until I clarified that I do have an ingrained response to feeling bad if an animal suffers in front of me. That if I see a puppy or a rabbit or whatever in pain I am going to feel sad about it. That reassured her that I'm not a sociopath.

And honestly I think afterwards she almost respected my position. She already thought me eating meat was evil before this argument and so I think she appreciated that I didn't try to hide behind the dogshit arguments that most vegans get when challenged (oh they don't suffer that much, eating meat is totally necessary and inevitable, if the rest of the world has a meat industry then obviously I, as an individual, then have no option but to eat meat (this one in particular is just so stupid)). I just accepted that and got to the bottom of the matter which is that our moral axioms are inconmensurable. That at a fundamental level I care about different things than she does.