#Paimon is a lil shit in this and I'm not sorry

[kiliinstinct]

Of Rumors and Almond Tofu

Series: Genshin Impact Pairing: Aether/Xiao ( m/m )  Rating: T for Teen - slight spice at the end but its super minor Setting: Canon Setting - During Lantern Rite 2023 A03: [ link ] Connected to This Art: [ Tumblr Post ]

I said I was going to Post for Genshin and now I finally am! I have literally been on and off working on this one-shot since February. @genavere beta'd it for me. (Bless her confused soul, she's never played the game and had no idea what was going on.)

Enjoy! - fingers crossed tumblr doesn't make the text goofy

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The multitude of colors and decorations that collectively dressed all of Liyue Harbor during the Lantern Rite never failed to fill Aether with a childish excitement that thrummed inside his chest. Even being his third year visiting for the Rite didn’t diminish the wonder he felt each time he took a glance at the MingXiao lanterns. 

Unfortunately, with circumstances as they were, the Traveler from another world found himself blind to the world around him—face buzzing in an embarrassed heat—distracted by his thoughts for most of the afternoon.  The Funeral Parlor was his destination, but heavy footsteps took him in the opposite direction. In his absentminded haze, he moved towards the fishmongers instead, struggling to process the morning’s events.  

He could hear Paimon titter behind him. Commenting on the details of the City decorations, waving towards the denizens who excitedly welcomed them back. Aether paid them no mind. Not deliberately, but the citizens of the harbor were used to Paimon speaking for him by now.

“Is he doing okay?” Aether vaguely recognized a voice that might have belonged to a Millellith guard as they passed. Rather than respond, he trusted Paimon to wave the man off, chirping her eager reply. “Oh, he’s fine!” 

His shoulders relaxed. Yes, he could leave it all to her while he mulled over his actions at Mt. Aocang. How could he have assumed his time at the Rite wouldn’t end in complications one way or another? 

His clung to him like a second skin, still damp from the cool waters of the morning. The face of disappointment Xiao had fixed upon him affixed itself in his mind like a blaring sign. How humiliating … Aether bit back a whine of shame. How was he going to face the Vigilant Yaksha again?

He briefly wondered if he could offer Paimon up as a sacrifice. A silly thought he knew wouldn’t pan out. Not only would Xiao refuse, but it would only serve to tease his floating companion. A terrible, vindictive part of his mind  thought the prank would do wonders for his mood. Was he feeling petty that Paimon’s dubious plan to feign drowning had turned out so horrible? Yes. Yes, he was, but he knew better than to place all blame on her small shoulders. 

After all, he could have said no. 

“It’s really not a big deal.” He heard Paimon speak to one of the kids who often played Pirates with her friends, and caught the tone of mischief too late to interrupt, “He’s just upset because his crush had to save him from drowning, that’s all!”

What.

Aether stopped mid-step. Finally registering just how far from their targeted destination they were. In the course of five seconds his heart sank to the pit of his stomach and bounced right back into the back of his throat, choking him of any and all words. 

“Oh, Mister Traveler has a special someone?" Little Lulu’s eyes glistened in wonder. "That’s so nice!” “Yup!” Paimon laughed, eyes twinkling, appearing unaware of the danger lurking behind her as Aether gawked, fingers twitching at his side. “But don’t go telling anyone else. He gets really embarrassed about it.”

He sprang into action, grasping the back of her clothes and yanked her back to his side. Mind working overtime to form the words that spilled from him too fast for his mind to keep up. “Paimon! What are you doing?”

If she was put out by suddenly losing her free flight, Paimon made no comment, opting to laugh behind her hand instead.  Her eyes glinted in amusement, “Just fielding questions. You weren’t responding to anyone so Paimon did it for you. Like the best traveling companion should, you know!” Aether couldn’t be bothered to respond, frantically looking back to Little Lulu, but it was too late. The girl had already run off to join the two boys she played with, shouting enthusiastically at them without a care in the world.  His earlier humiliation bloomed again and he noticed the surprised expressions of her friends as they glanced in his direction. He rounded on Paimon in consternation.   “Who else?” He demanded. Paimon had the audacity to look confused, “Hm?” “Who else,” he asked again, teeth gnashing together. Aether desperately wanted to stay calm, but was failing, “did you say that to?”

“... not that many.”

“How. Many?”

Rubbing her chin, Paimon hummed in thought, eyes glancing to the sky and all around them as if taking careful stock of every interaction she’d held within the past hour or so. “Including Little Lulu, just a couple more? Maybe three? I’m not sure, Traveler, you’ve been ignoring people quite a lot today.”

His expression was anything but amused. How distracted had he been? The morning was full of conversations, planning, and the gentle hope they could solve the mystery behind a mystical savior. Not only had they learned more about the old Adepti of the Past and the relations between them, he had also visited Madam Ping with Cloud Retainer, hoping to breach the subject of her music without touching on the old wounds of the past. All in all: he was exhausted and still had much to do before the concert that night. 

Ignoring the embarrassment of Xiao dragging his body out of a lake with Shenhe worriedly looming over the two of them, Aether felt the day had been full of social interactions. Could Paimon really blame him for being lost in thought?

Though, now that he had a better look of his surroundings, he couldn’t help feeling sheepish. “Zhongli has been waiting an awful while.”

“Oh, yeah. Paimon tried to get your attention about that, but you were so lost in thought that you paid no attention when Paimon tugged at you!” She circled his head, lips pursed in the tiniest of pouts, huffing. “If Paimon wasn’t so understanding, Paimon would demand you make it up with a grilled Tiger Fish!” Aether blinked, mystified. Was his thoughts on Quizhong’s life and Xiao’s expression of worry that distracting? Clearing his throat, he turned his back to the gentle, harbor waters, quietly hoping he could claim the heat of the sun was the culprit for his flustered face. “We should go then, before I make you into Tiger Fish, instead.”

“H-Hey! Why would you say that to Paimon?” “I can think of a few reasons,” He muttered, patting the top of her head, “Telling people I have a crush is certainly at the top of the list.” “Please- It’s not as if anyone is going to remember” She scoffed, dismissing him, “the Lantern Rite is tonight!”

Aether made a mental wish to the stars that Paimon was right.

She wasn’t. 

Not by a long shot. 

In fact, Paimon had been so wrong that by the very next day, with the sun barely rising and the lantern rite winding to a close, Aether thought he had misheard the local gossip. During the time he spent with Ningguang in the Jade Chamber, he was made all too aware of how fast rumors spread from the citizens of Liyue. Even Beidou’s warnings of the Qixing keeping watch on his comings and goings rang in the back of his mind like a siren. 

Despite this knowledge, he wasn’t prepared for the offhanded statements that followed his every move. They flew about him in all directions well into the afternoon. 

“That’s the traveler, isn’t it?”

“It is!”

“Didn’t you hear?”

“He almost drowned yesterday.” 

Aether never considered spending his attention on the background noise, all too accustomed to it after the last few years. He felt a stutter in his heart when that embarrassing reminder came back to snipe at him. 

So, they heard of his fake drowning attempt after all, albeit a little inaccurately.

“Doesn’t he know how to swim?”

“Of course he does, but things are strange at the Karst…”

“Is that why he was saved?” “By who?” “His lover!”

If he had been paying less attention, he would have toppled right off the pier and into the sea. Instead, he choked loudly on his own spit, face flaming a brilliant red as Paimon tittered around his head, fingers covering her mouth to hide her surprised squeal.

“Um, P-Paimon never said you had one of those!” She squeaked incredulously when Aether fixed her with his horrified gaze. “Wow, they really goofed it up, didn’t they?”

He couldn’t manage a reply. The words were gone, frozen in the back of his throat while fingers twitched and apprehension spread through all his nerves. Shut them out. It’ll blow over in a day or two. It had to. Right? Resisting the urge to throttle Paimon for the cough she faked to hide her laughter, he made a hasty retreat to Wanmin Restaurant for breakfast. 

An impossible task with whispered rumors and curious, mystified expressions following his every move. The rumors grew more exaggerated from person to person and Paimon failed to dissuade a few onlookers from spreading their overdramatized versions. 

It was too late. 

The world loved its gossip too much to be convinced of the misunderstanding. He could only quietly thank Chef Mao for allowing him to eat his breakfast in peace inside the kitchen, rather than stand among the crowd that couldn’t shut up about his non-existent love life. 

Unfortunately, that didn’t stop him from hearing tidbits each time a customer called upon the Chef for a tasty order..

Paimon had to choke back peels of laughter when they heard the list of ‘suspects.’ No one received a name, thankfully, but that left each new gossiper a question with no answers. 

Who was the traveler with? Ningguang? (“Can’t be, she wouldn’t be in Jueyan Karst during the Lantern Rite, would she?”) 

Perhaps the Yuheng, Keqing? (“She never left the harbor either!”)  

No, obviously Ganyu. (Aether hid his face in the palm of his hands at this one, quietly distressed.) Yes, Ganyu had become the popular choice among the many and Aether desperately hoped she’d be far too busy to catch wind of it. 

How could he explain this to her? Let alone anyone else? And keep Paimon from eating her foot any further than she already had while he was at it.

“Well, at least they were smart enough to realize Ganyu had been with us yesterday,” Paimon interjected between bites of her mostly finished breakfast. “Those other options were so far from the truth though. Talk about crazy. Paimon wonders what they’d do if they knew it was Shenhe and Xiao who-”

“Paimon.” His voice pierced through her rambling, far more intense than the roiling, desperate emotions simmering inside. The desperate stare he gave  his floating friend was enough to snap her mouth shut, effectively cutting her off..

“Sorry,” she amended, voice lowering a few notches as she floated beside him. “But, you have to admit, it’s crazy. They’re not even getting the gender right…”

Aether said nothing, letting his expression do the talking for him. 

He would thank his lucky stars that Chef Mao knew to be discreet, despite being a bystander to this conversation. When they left, the Chef sent them off with a cheery wave and a box full of jade parcels and lotus crisps to snack on. 

Paimon was ecstatic with the gift and Aether wouldn’t be surprised if they were all consumed before lunch.

Leaving the Harbor until the evening was the best way to save Aether from the crowd and it’s ever growing rumor mongering. By the time they’d escaped to Pervases’ temple, the gossip had grown so out of hand that Aether wasn’t sure what it would evolve to upon his return. Paimon continued to chitter her apologies, claiming time and time again that she never expected her jab towards his ‘crush’ to explode as it had. 

“It’s not even a crush,” he groused, setting incense at the temple while laying out a freshly grilled Tiger Fish in honor of the long-gone Yakshas. He treasured the peaceful quiet of the hall Wang Ping’an happily kept his distance, keeping watch at the door for more visitors. (Aether doubted more would come. The temple was always depressingly empty when he visited.) He ignored Paimon’s dramatic roll of her eyes and clasped his hands together in a customary prayer pose. 

Oh, whatever well wishes I give you now, Pervases, he thought dismally, please find a way to swallow Paimon up with me when these rumors take me out.

Paimon barely took the time to perform her own prayer, swirling about Aether’s head in agitation. “Oh sure, not a crush, you say, as if Paimon would believe that!”  

Tune her out, tune her out! 

“You were practically tripping over your feet when he pulled you out of the pond yesterday and don’t think Paimon didn’t notice you pouting when he left.”

It was getting harder to ignore her. 

“You looked like a kicked puppy who was denied a treat-”

“I did not!” 

Paimon’s expression was smug, staring at him through her lashes as she floated superiority over him. “And the blush on your cheeks is because…?”

His blasted body betrayed him by growing hotter at the question. He cleared his throat, turning his attention back to the Adepti monument, shoulders slack as he gave up. What use was there in lying to Paimon, anyway? She’d been by his side for so long, she was bound to pick up his tells. Almost as much as Lumine could rat him out…

Aether sighed, defeated. “It doesn’t matter, anyhow,” he muttered. “That’s a road better left empty.”

A crush? Certainly not. Whatever feelings he’d bottled up inside his heart for the last three years had grown far deeper than that. In the expanse of his own mind that twisted and turned around every possible mystery of Teyvat, all in his attempt to reunite with his sister, even Aether couldn’t lie to himself for too long. 

Xiao had certainly slotted into a place in Aether’s heart that he never knew existed. And in time, he couldn’t pretend it wasn’t there. A strange relationship that teetered back and forth along a thin wire. There was a tension between him and the Conqueror of Demons. A tension Aether couldn’t put a name to. Whether he fell or not, there was no knowing what falling off that wire would do to him.

In fact, he was determined not to find out. 

“Is it because you don’t think he feels the same?” Paimon cut through his reverie, slowly drifting to his side rather than staring down her nose at him. “Because Paimon thinks he looked really worried and upset yesterday so maybe he -”

“Paimon.” Aether’s stare was pleading. “Please, stop.”

“Oh- ok.” Her voice dropped to a tiny, disappointed whine. “Sorry.”

He knew she meant well. In fact, the thought of him holding feelings for another must have sparked an idea into her  head well over a year ago. What reason would he have to leave Teyvat in the end, if he fell into a relationship, after all? She must have taken his broiling emotions as a sign of weakness. A sign he could be persuaded to stay, but it was better not to hold onto false hope. 

That’s what he told himself.

Besides… muttering a final prayer to Pervases, Aether turned to leave, content to enjoy the outdoors until dinner with Hu Tao. He wasn’t certain how many the Director had invited, but the prospect of seeing old friends at a - hopefully - peaceful supper, helped ease his worries.

  It wasn’t as if Xiao would try and keep him here. The Yaksha had his own duty and that didn’t include convincing otherworldly beings into staying once their own was completed.  

That thought was enough to sober Aether from the many rumors of the Harbor.  He took in the air, smelling the sweat flowers and mints in the area as they soothed his aching heart. 

This world was beautiful. He would never stop thinking that. Even when it was nothing more than a memory.  With that thought in mind, Aether was positive he could tour the harbor once more, enjoying its festivities no matter what rumor trailed behind him.

A lover? Pfft, let them talk. Let them wonder. He knew the truth of it and that’s all that mattered. Even if the truth sank into the pit of Aether’s stomach like a pile of cor lapis. 

Aether would begin questioning all his decisions the moment he set foot in Xinyue Kiosk for Hu Tao’s big dinner plans.. 

Meeting all his friends in one place for a free dinner was more than enough to bring Aether joy and Paimon’s own squeal of delight. To sit alongside Xiangling, Chongyun and Xingqiu brought a light feeling to his chest and the sight of Hu Tao and Zhongli strengthened it. While they had seen the latter two only a day before, the prospect of a friendly dinner was enough to ease most of his worries. 

It didn’t matter what rumors still spread through the harbor. Earlier, he overheard a couple mention him ‘slipping’ into the water with his supposed ‘lover’ for a moment of intimacy. A mental image that made his face grow redder than the tomatoes sold nearby. 

How much crazier were these rumors going to grow before the townsfolk became bored?

Aether’s friends, young and old, seemed none the wiser, or at the very least, saw fit not to bring it up over dinner.  A fact Aether would forever be grateful for. At least, that’s how it should have gone, but the appearance of Xiao sent Aether’s mind into overdrive. Hu Tao’s mysteriously proud grin was the precursor to a meal he never expected. After refusing to enter the Harbor the previous Lantern Rites, seeing him a day after the traveler’s poorly executed ‘drowning’ attempt, set his heart thudding against his ribcage.  Not only was the Yaksha willingly in the harbor during Festival Season, but he’d been ushered to sit beside the other as if that had been the plan all along. 

The assumption wasn’t too far off. If Hu Tao’s knowing smirk was anything to go off of.

He felt his body turn to stone, heat rising along his neck at the proximity between them and he desperately hoped that Xiao’s penchant to ignore mortal matters would keep him far away from those embarrassing rumors. The adeptus always had a strong presence, not just from his inhuman energy, his intense gaze and stance always drew Aether’s attention. Now, however, it was difficult to keep himself from watching Xiao through his peripheral vision. The strong want to study his profile left Aether struggling to swallow, forcing his gaze ahead of him to keep his calm facade. “... is this, okay?” He was surprised, stunned out of his thoughts when Xiao’s pointed question struck him down with the faintest hint of insecurity. His confusion must have been obvious as Xiao, eyes averting back to the table, made a grumble of frustration toward repeating himself. “You are tense. I wondered if my presence was bothering you.”

Oh. 

“No-!” Aether snapped, voice far louder than he intended.  Gulping down as much water as he could manage, he ignored the raised brows of his peers and shook his head enough to feel dizzy. “It’s not that. I’m actually really-” Really what? Pleased? Excited? Flustered over nothing? Aether looked to Paimon for help as the words became sludge in his mouth. Her answering grin was sinister and he knew he made another mistake. 

“The traveler is actually really happy you’re here, Xiao!”  She hid her mischief behind her hand and giggled, “It’s almost like one of his wishes had been granted-”

Oh, if he wasn’t going to turn her into food yesterday, he certainly was now.  The glare he shot her was seen around the table, and he could feel the knowing, if perplexed expressions of the others who witnessed the scene. Zhongli, ever the silent observer, sipped his tea and turned his golden gaze towards Xiao instead, but Aether noticed the slight curve of the former Archon’s lips; and felt his lungs constrict further. Oh stars above, he knows.  Maybe he should have skipped out on today's dinner and called it an early night. Maybe he should have taken on an extra commission or a-

Xiao’s pointed stare froze him. The golden glow of the Yaksha’s eyes filled his shoes with cement before the gaze turned towards Paimon, and gave the briefest nods in acknowledgement to her. 

If Aether hadn’t been lost in his horror, he might have noticed the slightest hint of red dusting the tip of Xiao’s ears, but he couldn’t attend to that. Instead, he swallowed thickly, watching as Xiao considered his companions' words and resumed his stare at the table. “Hmm,” The non-committal grunt said so much and so little at once. It made him want to scream. “I see.”

The awkward tension in the room shattered like glass and chatter erupted around the table once more. Aether spared Paimon of a rueful glare in lieu of sighing in relief. It was easier to fall silent and listen, all while buzzing from the very presence of Xiao by his side. Talking was difficult and observing the other’s conversation removed all pressure from his soul. The respite was welcomed. Though it did not last long as chaos incarnate, the winds of Barbatos himself, saw fit to crash the party. If Aether had known he’d be in the presence of not one, but two Archons that evening, he would have mentally prepared himself better. 

Venti was a whirlwind of trickery and slid himself into the gathering with ease, as if he’d always been there. Upon his windy entrance, blowing open the doors with a giggle, the sudden tick at Zhongli’s jaw spoke of a quiet irritation. Hu Tao’s sudden interest in the new arrival gave Aether the strange feeling that the funeral parlor’s director was all too aware of the true identities of the feigning mortals at the table. A matter Aether tucked away to explore later. Much later. When there wasn’t the Lord of Anemo and Geo vying for most passive aggressive compliments the world of Teyvat had ever seen flying over his head. If Aether hadn’t known any better, he would have sworn Venti and Zhongli were divorced lovers. 

The mere thought made him cough back an amused snort that was waved away when Paimon sent him a questioning glance. The ‘I’ll tell you later’ went without saying. He’d rather enjoy the chaotic chatter while it lasted, enjoying his meal and observing the others around him. If his eyes happened to stray one too many times towards Xiao, he pretended not to notice. 

“Uhh-“ Though, noticing the stiff poise of the Yaksha beside him, perhaps it was a good thing he kept his attention on him. Xiao kept his hands under the table, fingers fidgeting at each new barb the Archons threw across the table. Each lie to cover up their identity made his body tense, as if becoming petrified wood would save him from the conversation. 

“I- uhh..” Xiao struggled to interrupt the onslaught of passive aggression, shoulders tensing by the second.

Aether frowned, and realized Xiao was not enjoying this. Brows furrowed together before he made a decision. It wouldn’t do to chase Xiao off from functions like this in the future. Anything to help the Yaksha relax and settle into the banter. 

With a careful glide of his hand beneath the table, he grasped Xiao’s twitching fingers with his own. The speed in which Xiao’s eyes flickered to him made the Traveler wonder if he’d made a mistake, an apology already formed upon his lips. 

But Xiao didn’t withdraw. Citrine eyes stared intently for a moment, as if looking for Aether’s inner thoughts. Coming up with nothing, he glanced to their adjoined hands before giving Aether’s an experimental squeeze, fingers sliding between his own. Aether had to bite back the surprised exhale that ran through him.

‘Are you okay?’ He wanted to ask, but that would garner everyone’s attention, breaking the spell weaved between them. Instead, Aether smiled and resumed eating. Almost like a child, Xiao’s grip tightened, ignoring the meal in favor of watching the others.

Like Aether, Xiao observed, but unfortunately, Aether’s actions were nothing more than a bandage for an issue far deeper than nerves. Venti and Zhongli were still in the limelight, spreading their flowery language from person to person. Even Hu Tao joined in, eyes glittering in mischief.

“Ah such lovely compliments my guests have for each other on this fine day.” The director curled her lips as she eyed everyone over the rim of her glass. “It’s so nice to see everyone getting along.”

Something in her tone spoke a different language to Aether. A niggling instinct that pricked the back of his neck, whispering tiny assumptions about Hu Tao. There was always something about her and the way she looked around the room that hinted to a knowledge vastly greater than she let on. Alarm bells rang as he witnessed her excited eyes glance from Zhongli to Venti, enjoying their banter like an afternoon play. It was a wild thought, Aether realized, but maybe the only ones unaware of the Archon’s identities were the other three guests, watching the spectacle in stunned silence. 

Paimon’s excited squeal and Xiao’s grip becoming tighter yanked Aether from his reverie. His flying companion had received seconds in the form of Xiao nudging his plate to the side and spared no second to curb her enthusiasm. The interruption gave way to more chatter along the table, pulling the attention off the archons for a short period.

“While I’m not partial to it, one could almost feel elated enough to have a glass of wine,” Zhongli said, taking it as a chance to once more explain how he was truly the one honored by everyone’s presence that day.

Venti jumped upon the self-indulgence without a second thought. Sitting straighter in her seat to hold his cup in the air, ignoring how tea splashed from the cup. “This MUST be a great occasion, indeed, for one as esteemed as yourself, huh?”

Aether held back the urge to roll his eyes. Paimon didn’t.  

He registered a shift in the man next to him. The tension was back and the Yaksha’s grip was crushing. Xiao had reached his limit. 

“I- I uh, I think-" It felt wrong, Aether decided, watching as Xiao struggled to put words into sentences. Words were difficult. He understood on a deeper level than most, but this was new territory. Attempting diplomacy when forthright honesty was more his style. Before Xiao could finally put his thoughts into verbal communication, Aether struck.

“Wow, I have eaten WAY too much,” he chirped, glancing at Paimon as he made a show of patting his stomach. The action released his hand from Xiao’s, causing the Yaksha’s eyes to widen and arm jerk from the motion. Ignoring Paimon’s confused hum, mouth still full of fish, he turned back to Xiao, “I think I need fresh air. Come with me?”

If anyone needed it. It was Xiao. Who eagerly accepted the out, eyes worriedly searching Aether for any further sign of discomfort. Convincing Paimon to stay behind was a harder task. Her shock and betrayal garnered everyone's attention, making his face grow heated.  He couldn’t blame her. After what happened in Sumeru, how could he? The Sabzeruz Festival was not so easily forgotten. Not half as easy as what was erased from Irminsul at least.

With a few well thought out words, and some added help from the others, she relented with a threat to eat his food along with her own if he took too long. He smiled fondly at her, patting her head as he left the table. A lost meal was a consequence he was willing to take.

Now that the opportunity was made available, Xiao was too oblivious to his ruse. The Yaksha stood by the double doors, arms crossed and shoulders so tense, Aether feared he’d turn to stone. His fingers tapped against his vision as barely contained impatience brimmed in the bright gleam of his eyes. He all but ran out the door the moment Aether swung it open, reveling in the fresh air and sunlight that greeted them.

“Are you all right?” Xiao demanded as soon as he was paced away from the building, posture far more relaxed now that they were free of everyone's gazes. “I should be the one asking that,” Aether replied, an eyebrow raised in concern. Somehow, words were easier when it was just the two of them. Simple. Upfront. 

Xiao’s eyes couldn’t stay focused, glancing from Aether’s face, before they swept around the street, eyeing every passerby as if a demon hid amongst them. When he deemed their location private enough, Aether witnessed the tension slowly bleed away as the seconds passed. Not to the extent the Traveler would have preferred, but it was something. He sighed in relief and was content to wait as Xiao answered, opening a line of conversation that was more relaxing than the cacophony inside. 

When it came to conversation. Xiao was often short lipped, but time after the Chasm incident must have changed him. With his willingness to speak of matters of the past and his own discomfort, it was clear their previous meetings had opened Xiao’s heart more than anticipated. A welcome surprise that created a gentle smile to cross his face. 

Unfortunately, relishing in the light conversation Xiao provided was not an easy task when beside one of the busiest roads in Liyue Harbor.

“Who's that with the Traveler right now?”

“That can’t be the one, can it?”

Aether cursed as a couple passing by whispered far too loud to keep their conversations secret and a mortified heat began to creep along the back of his neck. Oh no. No. No. No. Not now.

He trailed off lamely, distracted from their conversation. He assumed Xiao would notice and think something was wrong, possibly assume the worst, but curiously, the adeptus tilted his head, eyes gleaming in confusion. Something had caught his attention. Enough for his eyes to rove over the crowd on the streets before fixating back on what was now a very disgruntled traveler. 

“... What is- “ Xiao tested the words on his tongue as if his question was foreign to him. “Traveler, what is dating?”

At that moment, Aether wished he could curse in all the languages he’d heard in his travels, but he didn’t have the time to recall them all. Or the energy to speak them. What had Xiao heard to ask that? Aether worked through the palpitations of his own heart to consider the question, mouth running dry as the words jammed in his throat. 

“Why-?” 

No, dumb question. Xiao didn’t ask about human customs much, questioning it now may cause him to withdraw entirely. Aether didn’t want that, did he? “You don’t-,” a moment of insanity passed through him as he wished Paimon had followed along after all. She could handle this question better than him, right? 

Then again, catching the stares of a Millellith soldier across the road made him grimace. Never mind. Paimon would definitely have made everything worse. “You haven’t heard the term before?”

That.. was a safe response. 

He hoped. 

Xiao considered the question, nose scrunching in a way that made Aether’s heart twist. The curiosity the Adeptus held for humans despite his claims otherwise endeared Aether to him each time he was blessed to witness it. Despite the embarrassing context of the question, he clung to the visual to hold in his memories for later. Just as he had with all previous interactions he had in the past. 

“Mortals talk incessantly,” Xiao said after a few beats of silence. “Perhaps I have heard it before, but I never bothered to pay it any mind. The customs of mortals are… odd… to me.”

Somehow, that answer was very… Xiao.

Aether grinned, “Have you heard of courting then? Suitors?” What other words could he think of that may ring a bell… Aether was about to explain in further detail when recollection lit up in Xiao's eyes.

“How uninformed do you think I am?” He snapped, clicking his tongue derisively. 

Once upon a time, Aether would have suspected annoyance, but the hint of red he spied at the tip of Xiao’s ears spoke more to the truth than any words the Yaksha could say. 

“A mortal passtime to find a lover and pass on their legacy through their progeny. Of course, I know what that is-" He paused blinking. “Ah, so that is dating.”

“Words change over time,” Aether stated, still amused by his obvious discomfort.

“Ridiculous.” The retort came swift like a gust of wind before Xiao’s attention pulled back to the crowds behind them. His silence became a palpable curiosity that filtered through in muted measures. Aether wondered what was going through his mind in that moment, but chose not to ask. Whatever it was, Xiao would ask if he wanted. Something spurred the Yaksha to grumble, words muttering under his breath that Aether couldn’t catch. Watching him through his lashes, Xiao frowned, a strange irritation filling him. “So, then you -" 

After a few seconds of no follow up, Aether broke his silence. “So, I…what?”

Xiao shook his head. “Nothing. Just forget it.”

Silence befell them. When Aether realized Xiao wasn’t going to continue, he cleared his throat, thinking back on their earlier conversation. Steering the topic back a few paces would be ideal and the more he looked down the street, witnessing the onlookers slowly grow in number, the more Aether regretted his decision to escape the others in the first place. 

But something was bothering Xiao now, he could tell. Xiao’s gaze flickered from the street and back to him, brows furled together in thoughts that he refused to verbalize. Had he heard something else? The Traveler couldn’t be sure, but just when he had a mind to ask, the door to the kiosk swung open and both their gazes met Xiangling’s as she approached, lips bitten insecurely.. “Sorry!” She said swiftly, her smile felt out of place, far too timid for the cook’s usual expressions. “Am I interrupting anything?” “Not at all,” Aether answered in reflex, barely catching the quiet ‘tsk’ that escaped Xiao. This was the perfect change of topic. Already the tension from before bled away as if it never existed. “Were we taking too long?”

And off the conversation went with Xiangling beckoning the two back inside. Though, Aether made sure Xiao gave his due thanks for Xiangling’s efforts in bringing him an almond tofu, and winced when Paimon’s despondent waiting was brought up. As irritated as he was over the whole rumor debacle, he truly hadn’t meant to leave her alone for so long. Not since the Sabzeruz. He still remembered her terror at being left behind. It was a horror he felt in his bones and understood all too well.

Perhaps now was the best time to end their conversation, either way. They’d been invited to dinner. It wouldn't do to avoid the whole thing now, would it? Aether was certain Xiao would fare better a second time around and with the night still young, he wanted to bask in the social atmosphere a little longer before finally considering the years Lantern Rite officially over. 

When all was said and done, Aether could honestly say he never expected Xiao to invite him back to visit at Wangshuu Inn. “If you have need of me, call my name, but-…come to the inn, if you’d like to talk more.”

Somehow, it truly felt as if Xiao had changed. The events in the Chasm had opened the Adeptus in ways Aether could only dream to witness. Not obviously to most people, but just enough for Aether to feel as if he’d stepped through many doors that had been locked tight before. 

“Maybe those rumors will get it right now.” Paimon huffed that evening, stuffed full from the dinner and finally alone with Aether once again. “You two stayed out and away from Paimon for so long, everyone should have a good guess at this rate.” Aether cleared his throat, facing Paimon with a deadpan stare. “You get a pass. Just this once.”

Eyes lighting up in mischief, Paimon giggled, ecstatic, “Really? What’s the occasion?”

“It’s my apology for making you wait so long.” He ruffled her hair as he teased her. “I couldn’t believe it when Xiangling said you’d hardly touched your food. Maybe you’re sick? Is something wrong with my emergency food?”

“Oooh! Paimon’s had it to here with you! Paimon deserves more than one pass for that, mister!”

He laughed. Maybe, if he was lucky, he could put the gossip behind him. They were bound to die out the further from the festival it became after all, and he didn’t have the energy to stress over it further.

With the sun fading below the horizon, Aether decided that after all was said and done, it was an almost perfect night. This world may not be his, but in that moment, he felt just a little bit closer to home. 

Xiao’s offer wouldn’t be taken for another two days when Aether found himself in the area, exhausted from a day of commissions and curiosity burning in his veins. Would Xiao be there waiting? Or would he come to chat if called? It was enough for him to decide to stay for the night before making his way back to Sumeru. There was some time yet before he would travel to the region Fontaine, so there was no reason he couldn’t make a few more detours, right? 

“Three Hundred… Four Hundred… Five- “ Counting his recent payments, Aether’s eyes lit up, “Five hundred mora! Add that to the rest of our funds and we should have more than enough to stay at the inn. No camping tonight!”

“Didn’t we already have enough before you were paid? You’re practically a workaholic, you know,” Paimon said.

He shrugged, smiling unapologetically, “And I never hear you complain each time another bag of mora comes our way, do I?”

Paimon didn’t bother denying it and pouted instead. Their back and forth would continue all the way to the Inn, with Aether falling silent partially through their conversation, settling into their usual pattern.. If he were honest with himself, the Lantern Rite had burned his ability to socialize to an almost non-existent flame, and he relished Paimon filling the air with her chatter. On days like this, he could forgive her of the embarrassment days prior. 

After all, rumors from Liyue Harbor wouldn’t spread this far out into the Dihua Marshes. Of that, he was as certain as he was of the sun rising each morning. 

Skipping the elevator of the Inn, Aether prolonged Paimon’s prattling by climbing the stairs; enjoying the wind as it whistled through his braid, the view as the sun gleamed across sparkling waters, and the sounds of chatter from the many guests chattering throughout. Second to Mondstadt only, the locals of Wangshuu Inn never failed to fill Aether with a calm peace. 

It was a source of security, anchored down by the presence sheltered at the rooftop. A fact Aether refused to admit outloud, and certainly not in front of Paimon. 

Lantern Rite had been good to the Inn. Approaching the main Lobby, they spied Verr Goldett surrounded by a line of customers. Catching the gleam of Aether’s golden hair and Paimon’s crown, she waved pleasantly to them; her smile crinkled the edge of her eyes before she turned her attention back to her waiting guests.  There would be no conversation just yet, but that was okay. Aether wasn’t worried about finding a place to sleep. The Boss Lady of Wangshuu Inn always had a room available to him when asked.  It was a mystery he never quite understood how she managed to do it. “Okay!” Paimon’s voice shrieked closer to Aether’s ear than intended, pulling him from the unsolved riddles of the inn.. He flinched, ears ringing, but Paimon paid that no mind. Sadly, he knew it wouldn’t be the first time, nor the last. “Paimon is going to see Yanxiao for some food, you go on without me.”

Aether blinked, one foot on the stairs to the upper balcony and the other grounded in place. Raising one brow, he observed his Fairy companion silently, uncertain of her motive. Hadn’t she been angry at him for leaving her behind just a day ago? 

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t look at Paimon like that. You wanted more time to talk to Xiao, right? Paimon will join you later.”

Something about her tone raised alarm bells in his mind, but he couldn’t put words to it before she held out her tiny hand, expectant.

“But-”

“Bag please!” Her smile was devious. “Paimon has to pay for our meals somehow and you keep all the mora on you.”

“Is this your way of sneaking yourself an extra helping without supervision?” Regardless, the small bag he’d saved from the day was snatched from him as soon as it was offered.

“Paimon will make sure there’s still enough for a room, don’t worry.”

Aether couldn’t resist. “Too late.”

“Oooh,” she seethed, opalescent eyes sparked in anger. “Go up and see your Adeptus boyfriend already!”

With her loud exclamation, Paimon shot her way to the kitchens, leaving Aether flustered and frozen in place as every eye in the lobby turned towards him. 

Oh no. Not again! Paimon, I swear to all Archons who hear me and beyond, I am going to EAT you one day!

Noticing the all-knowing eyes of Verr Goldett on him, Aether attempted to wave off the eyes with a sheepish smile. Already he could hear the quiet murmurs spreading through the crowd.The Boss Lady of Wangshu Inn understood his quiet plea, lips curving in comradery.

“Come now, who's next? My husband won't be back for a few more minutes, so allow me to assist you.”  Beckoning for the line to move on, her voice rose above the chatter, calling attention towards herself as she laughed. “As if an Adeptus would be at my inn of all places. Could you imagine?”

And that was enough to break through what Aether could see as an all-new rumor spreading. Verr Goldett was true to her job, keeping the mystery of the rooftop—and who lived upon it, as secret as the day she’d met Aether. The ‘gentleman’ of the balcony would not be named and she made sure all visitors knew better than to ask. Feeling ashamed of their eavesdropping, the nearby guests cleared their throats and looked away, keeping their chatter to themselves. Relieved, Aether mouthed a tiny ‘thank you’ from the stairs and resumed his trip up, two steps at a time. He didn’t miss the glitter in her eye. No doubt, she’d expect a return favor in the future.  That was a problem for the future, he decided, and quietly he vowed to make Paimon help when the time came. 

The highest balcony of the inn never failed to leave Aether breathless. The view of the marsh and distant mountains gleamed with the waning sunlight with stars already beginning to sparkle above. The skyline of the towering peaks of Jueyan Karst and the lonely mountain, Dragonspine, framed the view from left to right. Ginko leaves scattered about the wooden deck, flowing with the wind around the lone figure watching the land below him. Aether gawked, stunned by the silhouette, illuminating Xiao’s outline, as flecks of teal reflected the light in his hair. 

For the first time in months, Xiao had waited for him. Aether’s mouth became dry as he struggled to greet the other, but there was no need. Even with his back turned, Xiao knew who had come to join him.

“So,” he began, head barely tilting to acknowledge the other, “you came afterall.” 

Words tumbled off Aether’s tongue in a rush, “Didn’t you invite me?”

Xiao hummed in confirmation, gaze still piercing the clouds above them, watching as another star began to shine. Aether took the opening for what it was and crossed the deck to stand by Xiao’s side. His own gaze struggled to choose between watching the scenery or admit the profile of his companion. 

“Then, why wouldn’t I come?” he asked when the wind ceased and the rustling of the tree above them came to a halt. Xiao answering blink gave Aether all he needed to know, cracking a grin as the Adeptus slowly accepted his reply. “You come when I call, don’t you?”

“That’s-!” Xiao paused, catching himself before his tone resumed its careful, quiet timbre. “That’s different. I promised to protect you.”

His smile grew. “And we agreed that it was time to let friends take care of their friends.” He chuckled as Xiao broke his gaze to stare towards the trees, the hint of an ear tip dusted in pink peeked from behind his hair.  “What sort of friend would I be if I ignored your invitation?”

“I-” He cut himself off.

“Yes…?”

Xiao sighed, the barest hint of a smile curving at the edges. “I still don’t understand you.”

Mirroring him, Aether leaned against the railing, enjoying the gentle breeze that weaved through his braid. “Then I’ll just have to keep visiting until you do.”

It was easy to talk or fall into companionable silence, after that, something Aether always appreciated. Words weren’t easy, especially in Teyvat. The language had proven difficult and confusing when he’d first began his journey. Xiao’s ability to listen and enjoy the moment without words was a small reprieve. Once upon a time, Aether knew the Adeptus would have disagreed with the sentiment, but he wasn’t so good at hiding his true emotions anymore. That or Aether had learned to read him easier. The slight hint of a smile, the soft tone of his voice as he wistfully encouraged him to speak or be silent. It was a small comfort. One Aether relished. He could only hope Paimon would stay in the kitchens, bothering the cook for all the food she could muster. Perhaps, she’d eat until she was too tired to join them, dozing blissfully in a corner by the innkeepers. 

Just the thought made Aether giggle, catching Xiao’s attention and breaking the silence between them. He recalled a time when the Adeptus admitted to wanting to know all of Aether’s experiences in an attempt to learn and understand more about himself and mortals. This thought could be added to countless others as their conversations often began anew and moved on to so many topics he could hardly remember them all. But just when he was about to settle in to speak of his recent adventures in Sumeru, Aether finally noticed the small two-tiered box to the side, sitting beside one of the potted plants. “What's that?” He interrupted his own thoughts, head tilting to point out the curiosity. Xiao didn’t bother to look, already aware of what was around them. “Almond tofu,” he said, voice monotone as he raised a brow. Aether considered this and scrunched his nose. “That’s like.. Two servings more than you usually eat.” He pointed out. Xiao hummed noncommittally. “I .. still hadn’t finished what Xiangling made for me,” he admitted, glancing to his feet in a way that brought to mind a guilty child. “But then Yanxiao made my usual amount and I… I couldn’t eat it.”

The mention of the chef made it all clear. Of course. Yanxiao wouldn’t have known that a different cook all the way from the harbor had made the Adeptus an offering. Following routine explained the extra portions and the traveler made a decision. Breaking away from Xiao’s presence, he brought the tiered box to him. “Well, it’s only going to go bad if you keep leaving it out here so-”

“You should have some too.”

Aether froze. “What?”

There was a careful expression on Xiao’s face. Jaw tense, head tilted just enough to keep the shine of his citrine eyes from revealing any thoughts in his mind. If it were any other person, Aether would have sworn they were nervous, but Xiao.. nervous?

“You don’t have to,” he said a beat later. “I just…Thought we could share. You can tell me more of your travels. I’ll listen.”

Nothing else needed to be said. It was an offer that Aether was more than happy to take. 

Opening the tiers, he found spare chopsticks inside—silently noting the extra pair, but spared Xiao the embarrassment of being called out, and pulled them out. Handing one tier to Xiao, Aether sat his own share against the bannister and hummed pleasantly when he popped a piece of the textured pudding into his mouth. Sweet, but not overly so- with a sticky syrup that clung to his tongue. …with a…bit of spice? “Xiangling made this one, didn’t she?”

Xiao nodded, absentmindedly eating his own. “I didn’t dislike it. But it is different.”

“Not bad.” Aether agreed, but mischief seized him a second later as he added, “I like the one you make best though.”

Xiao uncharacteristically choked, grunting as he looked away again. He was doing that a lot lately, Aether noted. And he thought he caught the phrase ‘yours is better’ pass the Adepti’s lips, but couldn’t be sure. Laughing at his successful mission to fluster the mighty Yaksha of Dihua Marsh, he popped another piece into his mouth. 

“You grow less timid each time we meet,” Xiao stated, keeping a careful gaze on Aether as they enjoyed the dessert together. “Do you speak to your lover like this, as well?”

And just like that, Aether felt the entire world drop out from under him. His own bite of almond tofu lodged itself in his throat as his heart threatened to burst from his chest and attempt to fly off to worlds unknown. Coughing, he thumped his chest a few times to calibrate himself, not noticing when Xiao stepped closer, setting his own plate aside in concern. “Lover?” He gasped through another bout of coughing, eyes wildly searching Xiao’s for an explanation. “When have I ever- what…why would I-”

Somehow, Aether just knew, this was all Paimon’s fault.

“Traveler, are you-” With a hand raised, intent to possibly slap Aether’s back to help stave off his choking, Xiao reconsidered the action and watched the coughing subsided, his brows knitted together, perplexed. “Did I hear wrong, then?”

“Hear what?” Aether pressed, covering his face to hide the assured blush splashing across his cheeks and burning down his neck. He couldn’t face Xiao, not like this. Shame filled him. So smooth a second ago, only to have it torn from him by an almond tofu assassination attempt. “Please. Explain.”

“It…” Xiao paused, considering his next words, eyes whirling in quiet anticipation. “At the harbor. I heard… many things. The people there are convinced you have a lover. Are they mistaken?”

“Yes!” The embarrassed groan that escaped Aether could be heard across the marsh, hand smacking into the almond tofu, knocking it from the railing as it clattered to the balcony below. He’d have to apologize to Goldett later. “So…you...you heard all that?”

Xiao blinked, head tilting in a curious way that Aether had to ignore lest he be distracted by the cute action. “They were very loud about it. Did you not?”

Aether nodded, too flustered to voice the words in that moment. Of course he had. He’d hoped a silly Adeptus wouldn’t pay it any mind! “Ugh, I did, but- it was Paimon’s fault. She said something and rumors began to spread and I just-”

“Ah.” Realization gave Xiao pause as Aether trailed off, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Anxiety gripped him, uncertainty filled his lungs and he felt, in that moment, that he needed to leave. To hide. Camp outside. Anything other than feel Xiao’s gaze as he processed this development. 

But he couldn’t. Not now. Not like this. Not while Xiao stared at him with a molten gaze that glued his feet to the deck. 

The tension in Xiao’s brow relaxed by the second as a sudden curiosity gripped him. His own plate was set aside, much more elegantly than Aether’s and he approached the traveler with a caution befitting an animal observing its surroundings. Once within the other's proximity, Aether’s mind shut down when Xiao’s gloved hand gripped his own, tugging it gently from his face. 

“If I’m not mistaken,” he began, voice low and considering, “while often false, rumors also grow through seeds of truth.”

Jaw slack, Aether gaped, the words whirling through his mind struck greater than a hurricane, but not a sound escaped. Nodding vaguely, he nervously gazed from Xiao to the potted plant behind him, examining the giant green leaves and the intricate designs along its holder. 

“Then…did you…” Conflict flickered in Xiao’s eyes and Aether noticed the signs before the Yaksha would often deny his own questions and leave. Despite the fast rate of his heart and mental shrieking, Aether felt the panic rise in his throat, the impending urge to ask him to stay boiling on the tip of his tongue. The flicker of doubt passed and Xiao pressed on, unaware of how it continued to rob Aether of his voice, “Feign drowning again, despite my reprimand?”

A second passed. Then another. Aether blinked in time with his own heart, puzzled. “Why would I have—I didn’t.” Had he missed a step somewhere? Xiao’s train of thought was moving quicker than his own, unable to focus. “Why-”

“If you hadn’t, Traveler,” Xiao continued, voice darkening with an edge Aether only heard when he was serious. “Then one could only assume the so-called lover that saved you was not, in fact, a mystery person, but myself. Correct?”

Aether’s mouth went completely dry and what blush he had quickly faded as the blood rushed from his face. He felt a chill down his spine, crawling along his arms down to the very tips of his gloved fingers. Another nod and he felt foolish. Why wouldn’t the words come, now when he needed them?

And why was his hand still firmly grasped by Xiao’s? He couldn’t think straight. And the intensity of Xiao’s narrowed eyes, glowing from the low-light of the sunset, made his skin crawl in ways he couldn’t begin to explain. 

“What is the truth?” Xiao spoke again, pulling Aether from his derailed and panicked thoughts with a gentle squeeze of his hand to ground him. “What did Paimon say to cause such bold claims?”

The dam in Aether’s lungs burst and before he could control himself, he answered. “I-I know it’s ridiculous to consider us together like that, but don’t be too angry with Paimon. She’s just full of mischief.” 

His eyes stung, but he blinked it away, pressing on in hopes to ease whatever wrinkles Xiao foresaw. “It was my fault anyway, I was so ashamed from worrying you that I left her to talk to everyone for me and she told only a few people that my crush had-”

He paused, eyes widening as he looked to Xiao, whose expression turned blank through his ramble. Aether couldn’t read it. Not this time. Wait, did Xiao understand what a crush was? “I’m sorry, I’m not making much sense-”

“You’re right. The thought of us together in a romantic capacity is ridiculous.” His voice was sharp, measured, but Aether felt as if acid had been flung at his face. He winced as Xiao’s grip tightened. “What an unnecessary passtime, spreading falsities over mere hearsay.”

Everything shattered. Aether’s bones. His very heart. He felt it cracking into millions of pieces. It wasn’t difficult to damage an already broken heart, desperately searching for the one person who could patch it back together again. Lumine’s absence always felt like knives when he stopped to think, to consider the implications throughout his journey and now… his throat felt swollen, robbed of breath: broken all over again. Xiao was always harsh when he wanted to be. His words sharper than daggers when he made a point. 

Don’t cry, Aether. Not here. Not now. He smiled a watery, broken grin, eyes blinking repetitively as his arm hung limply between them. Calm down. Don’t act as if you’ve been rejected when you weren’t even going to ask-

There was no masking Aether’s reaction. No time. His emotions were out on his sleeve, dangerously hanging over the edge. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d allowed himself to be so close to others until this world, and now every reason he and Lumine agreed not to in their younger days came spiraling back to the surface, screaming ‘I told you so’ repetitively in his mind. “Hah, y-yeah…Well, it’s just how we are.”

His voice was hollow, hoarse even, struggling to mask the tumultuous tsunami encompassing his entire being. Inside, he was tumbling down and further down, but his body didn’t move. Neither did his hand. Xiao’s grip was still strong. 

Xiao’s grip… Aether focused on it, blankly recognizing that despite the Yaksha’s words, his actions spoke differently. No longer meeting Aether’s eyes, his attention grew fixated on the bits of syrup clinging to his glove. In a moment of insanity, he realized Xiao must not have seen his obvious change in tone, a chance to bar his heart again. Lock it away and mask himself as he’d done before. Smile. Smile, Aether. Everything will be fine if you just smile. 

Contradicting the storm brewing in the traveler’s heart, the wind gently pressed against the two: soft and strong as it whistled through the branches above. The view of the night sky was a brilliant kaleidoscope atop the Wangshu Inn, but Aether couldn’t attend to it. Not now, when his gaze fixed firmly behind Xiao’s shoulder, desperately blinking back the emotions that threatened to drip. If he could manage to look unaffected, perhaps everything could revert to normal, but Aether wondered, amidst his mental struggle, what was normal? 

To stand back. Keep his distance. Treat Xiao as a weapon? No. The mere thought elicited an immediate rejection. Aether could never, not even when they had first met.  Even then, he was in awe of the adeptus. Xiao was the perfect mixture of belonging to the world, yet standing outside of it. Untouched by the world's changes as he valiantly struggled nightly to defend it. How could he see him as anything less?

“Fascinating,” Xiao’s voice broke through Aether’s spiraling thoughts, his grip tugging and lifting his hand towards him. Swiftly, Xiao shattered Aether all over again as his tongue swiped a patch of syrup from his glove, tasting the syrup. “You should remove this before it stains.”

What.  Aether couldn’t keep up, face blooming a brilliant red before he could catch himself. Covering his face, he met Xiao’s golden gaze, piercing into his own and struggling to breathe. 

“X-Xiao,” He choked, wrenching away his hand before another rug could be swept out from under him, “You really sh-shouldn’t -”

“Hm? Shouldn’t what?” The Yaksha blinked, considering his prior actions, and his own ears dusted a light pink. “Ah. Am I making you uncomfortable?” The space between them grew and for a wild second, Aether almost pulled him right back, but grasped the railing instead, grounding himself. 

Yes, he had to admit, he was very uncomfortable, but not for the reasons Xiao would think. “I’m fine! You just, can’t… well, if anyone saw, then those rumors would …”

Aether glanced towards the balcony entrance, relieved that no set of eyes could be found looking on upon them. Paimon was keeping her word, giving Aether space and the inn residents down below off to their rooms to prepare for sleep. They were as alone as they could be and Aether wondered if he preferred that over the alternative. His body was hot and broken, a confused combination that struck a headache behind his eyes.

“Are you ill?” 

Aether cursed as his broken movements were finally observed by the other. Shaking his head furiously, Aether turned his back on the other, leaning over the railing to judge the distance of the deck below, carefully considering a route to escape. He couldn’t go far, not without Paimon, but if he  moved quick enough he could-

Xiao was beside him before he could move further, hands hovering over his shoulder with eyes wide in alarm. Aether could see the way his hands wavered, questioning his own next move and, once upon a time, he would have found the action endearing, but now guilt settled in his gut and he swallowed back an embarrassed whine. “Traveler are you trying to-”

No. No. Don’t ask. Don’t-

“Aether.” 

He froze, the earlier panic settling in his bones melted away at the sound of his name. Unspoken in the world for so long, unsaid by voices he desperately wanted to hear. The memory of the chasm, the desperation he felt at Xiao’s sacrifice and…A whisper of his true name to a world that would never know it.

Xiao kept his promise to hold Aether’s name in secret, to allow just one person to recognize who he truly was. Funny, how hearing it sent his heart soaring and crashing down all at the same time. He was frozen in place far better than any elemental reaction could achieve, glancing back at Xiao in earnest.

Xiao had called for him by name. Xiao had.. 

“Xiao?”

The Yaksha looked upon him in trepidation, eyes glancing to the rail and back to Aether again. His expression was near unreadable as he crossed his arms: creating a barrier between them.  Aether knew the action, something Xiao would never admit, but often used to keep the space. Recognizing this obvious sign of Xiao’s pushing him away, he swallowed the desperate whine that threatened to escape him. Despite the multitude of emotions broiling through him, Aether read the Adeptus loud and clear: Xiao was conflicted.

The Yaksha in question considered his words carefully, striking eyes never leaving Aether’s as they wavered between unspoken words, fingers clenched tightly as he sighed, frustrated. “I told you. Speak my name, Adeptus Xiao, and I will be there for you.” 

Aether blinked. What was Xiao getting at?

“Likewise,” he continued, brows furrowing. “You said that heroes can take care of each other…that I can rely on my friends.” Realization slowly came to Aether, sensing the direction Xiao was taking them. “So then… if something is wrong. You can tell me…unless you are trying to spare my feelings?”

“It’s not like-” Words died in his throat as Aether tried to explain himself, but what could he say? He was stuck, lost in the murk of his own, confused, tired emotions.

“If my Karma is affecting you then just say so.” Xiao finished and everything exploded. Aether couldn’t take it any longer, biting back a humorless laugh as he shook his head, wildly flinging his braid behind him as he went. 

“You think that’s- Xiao, no. I’m fine. Really.” He pushed, urged the Yaksha to look beyond his Karma. It was slow progress, one he had seen with each visit, but he couldn’t let Xiao believe his actions had anything to do with the darkness that threatened the Yaksha’s sanity every day. At Xiao’s disbelieving expression, he pressed on, “I was embarrassed, Xiao. You really shouldn’t just lick syrup off of anyone like that-”

Xiao’s retort was as swift as his polearm, “Why would I ever do that to just anyone? Is this another mortal thing I’m unaware of?”

Aether was dying inside. The awkwardness was too much. Far too much. “It’s not something casual friends would do, Xiao. People - not just mortals- can and will take it the wrong way.”

At Xiao’s deafening silence, he felt the nerves crawl up his back and he shivered, unable to stop himself now that he started. “You know the rumors? If it’s so ridiculous for us to be together, isn’t performing something that could be misinterpreted as intimate going to muddle things up?”

Something lit in Xiao’s eyes and the Yaksha looked away, throat clearing as he gazed at the stars as if looking for some answer to a mystery that couldn’t be solved. “Humans believing a Yaksha deserving of a mate… a significant other, is ridiculous. Much less with a traveler who must journey onward and leave them behind.”

How many times could one have their breath stolen from them? Ice cold, metaphorical water, dumped itself over his shoulders, eyes widening at Xiao’s reply. Too many words wanted to sail through him all at once, but the winner came out, ringing clear as a sunny day and forceful. “Karma or no Karma, Xiao, you are more deserving than you give yourself credit.”

Like going in circles. How often had Aether thought the same thing about himself? He was on a journey, his sister and the mysteries of the abyss his top priority. How could he have time to romance? What happened after his journey? There were too many unknowns, too many questions, but to hear those same worries from another was surreal. He’d given too much of himself to Teyvat already. His time. His care. His strength, and to Xiao, he gave his name. A part of him would always be here, there was no escaping it, but Aether would be damned if he let Xiao continue to think himself unworthy of anything. 

Ignoring the broken pieces of his heart, he breached the barrier of Xiao’s crossed arms, pulling them apart despite the Yaksha’s confused grunt. There was a brief second where Xiao tensed, refusing to move, before giving in and letting him close the distance, almost furious in his attempt to hammer the self-doubt away. “Yan Fei is half Adeptus,” He rambled, thinking about the harbor's legal consultant, “She’s proof that a non-human can be with another." 

Xiao attempted to interrupt, but Aether shook his head, pressing on. “A Yaksha is different. I know. Believe me, I know, but…isn’t she still proof that it’s possible? Those with visions can be around you, Xiao...you don’t…You don’t have to be alone. You can be with someone. Anyone.”

He laughed, hollowly, knowing he was pushing through so many barriers, and it was crazy how his earlier feelings of rejection came second place to ensuring Xiao understood his own worth. Distantly, he realized his fingers were squeezing into Xiao’s forearms with a force strong enough to bruise a normal person, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Not just yet. Not now. 

“And Xiao…” He continued, voice filling in with a tone of finality, “Anyone-and I do mean anyone- would be honored to be chosen to stay by your side…if you wanted it.”

He clenched his eyes shut. Waiting for the scoff. For Xiao to push him back, to disperse into the anemo particles he controlled and leave him there, empty and alone. 

Yet, none of that happened. Xiao’s earlier grip returned, mirroring Aether’s hold. A blush of heat and warmth spread over his cheeks, realizing the Adeptus had closed the distance, stepping closer as a soft press of lips brushed along his skin. Not wanting to break the spell, to open his eyes and see reality, Aether held in a breath and waited. 

Seconds ticked by, but the presence never left and Xiao shifted, muttering against Aether’s ear, “...Am I allowed to want, Aether?”

Aether recalled a time when Xiao had claimed to have no desires, no aspirations, nothing. This question wrapped the pieces of his heart together and shattered them all over again. So many things about Xiao caused Aether a pain he couldn’t describe, often pushed back in response to other, pressing concerns. And yet those simple words left him weightless, arms wrapping around Xiao to hold him close, to bury his nose into the Yaksha’s shoulder, shaking from the force of his emotions. Was he allowed? How cruel this world could be, to leave someone so afraid of their own wants that they must ask to receive them. “I can’t give you permission. No one can. It’s your choice, Xiao. It always has been.”

Xiao was tense, uncertain where to place his arms, hesitantly they rested against his waist, allowing Aether to pull him tighter in, unaware of the way Xiao melted against him. 

A monumental shift had begun between them, one that left Aether breathless and unsure, but there were many things he didn’t know. That didn’t matter. As a traveler, he loved to explore the unknowns and this, this was as unknown as anything else in the world. To him and Xiao both. But the way Xiao’s next question put another piece of his heart back into place made Aether almost lose his footing. “Am I allowed to want you?”

Perhaps those rumors wouldn’t fade away, after all. Perhaps they were about to find a new addition to stoke the flames instead.  Aether expelled the air he was holding inside himself and knew the question for what it really was. They both knew the end of his journey was full of unknowns, they both knew he might choose to leave one day and yet - he tightened his hold and laughed through the tears welling in his eyes.

“I thought I was the one who asked dumb questions. He sniffled and blinked back the moisture, refusing to cry into Xiao’s shirt. “You can want anyone, but, is it okay for me to want, as well? I still haven’t brought Lumine back, and my journey is far from over, but-”

A shock of pain shot through Aether’s neck and he belatedly realized Xiao had nipped him with a sharp fang, effectively silencing him. The action was so strange and new that he couldn’t figure out where to begin. 

Satisfied by his silence, Xiao withdrew, eyes blinking owlishly as he examined Aether’s red-rimmed eyes. “Your questions are just as ridiculous as always, Traveler. Are humans not allowed to love, even if their goals lead them far away?”

Aether wanted to argue that he wasn’t half as human as many thought, but the argument was cut short, interrupted by the Yaksha pressing their foreheads together, eyes closed. “You can’t promise you’ll stay, just as I can’t promise my karma won't take me eventually. This is… fair enough.”

And it was, Aether realized. It really was. It would take time to process the whirlwind of a conversation they’d just gone through, but in Xiao’s arms, that didn’t seem too daunting a task. For now, they had the time, and the night was still young, with rumors still freshly spreading throughout the inn as Paimon finished her meal and blabbered on to Verr Goldett about one thing or another.  

Looking back to the night sky, he sighed, feeling a secure safety wrap itself around his heart, a certainty that despite all the unknowns of the world, he could at least have this. Xiao, just as silent, but comfortable, joined his gaze upward and sighed. “Perhaps,” he said after a time, voice breaking through the atmosphere of their shared emotions, “we can continue our earlier conversation. You said you had many stories about Sumeru. Could you tell me?”

Aether’s answering smile made his cheeks sore, but his eyes glittered in the starlight. And if their conversation continued well into the night, to be spotted by a few onlookers from the decks below for more gossiping rumors to spread along the harbor and beyond…

So be it.  Aether couldn’t bring himself to care anymore.

[nyxthejinx]

Heya!

I just saw your open for request post and want to commission an Cyno x gn!reader, please? :) a fluffy and spicy drabble would be lovely. Maybe smth like.. the reader is good friends with Cyno and Tighnari but the reader went on a journey thru teyvat and met the Aether (traveler) on their way and since then they traveled together and been thru much so they have a connection ofc and then when the reader and Aether visit sumeru and they meet Cyno - he will get all jealous? Cause he sees how close they are and he fears that he missed his chance with the reader? But obvsly its not like that and yeah. A lil bit of making out at the end, please? cause Cyno needs to let out some steam after his jealously :^)

Thank you for doing requests btw!

FIRST. It took ages but I was able to sell my soul in exchange for inspiration only recently, I'm so sorry. SECOND thank YOU for asking, I wasn't sure about this until the 3am among us potion made it work. THIRD beautiful pfp, akaza bb fr i love him a normal amount I promise. FOURTH it's 5 am, literally I'm not kidding, I tried to proofread and all that but I don't even know what's my name anymore so I'm sorry for typos and shit. FIFTH I hope It makes sense, enjoy 💀

𝐓𝐖: Fluff and obviously spice (making out, vague allusions to the dirty deeds ;) ), use of petnames (dear, love), lemme know if I missed something.

𝐅𝐭.: Cyno, Aether (but he's your homie) - GN!Reader

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.5k

𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨: Rendezvous - Little Mix (god this song is such a banger)

Cyno fears nothing.

"Cyno, this is Aether."

Cyno fears one thing.

He'd felt so happy after reading your last letter. You said you'd be back in a few days with a special surprise, but honest to Archons the fact you'd be coming back to him - for him, he’d wanted to say, but not dared to- was enough of a present.

He surely wasn't expecting that this "surprise" would be none other than the Traveler who's saved Sumeru, though. A charming blondie who drifts a bit too close to you, in Cyno's opinion.

"We met in Liyue, he's amazing." You smile, squeezing the blond's shoulder. "He's a well known traveler across Teyvat, even in regions he has yet to visit!"

"I just help those who need it, not that much of a big deal."

Aether blushes and rubs his neck. Aether blushes. And you're touching him in a way that only close friends do.

It's fine, Cyno wants to think. You're allowed to do whatever you want in your life, he sure as hell won't stand in your way. He already stepped aside back in the days, as you excitedly told him how one of his worst fears came true you were leaving for adventure.

Everything to make you happy.

But his mixed feelings would always get in the way and unleash endless internal conflicts. It wasn't simply about not having you around, it was some kind of longing sitting inside his chest and screaming at you not to go.

It was the distance that made him realise: he was, and still is, far too in love for his own good.

And Aether could get in the way of that.

"We meet again, Traveller." The General nods, pushing down such shameful thoughts. "I'm glad to see you are both fairing well."

"It's all thanks to [Name], actually." Aether nudges you in the ribs. "They're really helpful, no matter the task."

You smirk. "Oh, what an honour. The traveller complementing me, a common, mortal nobody."

"Hey, I'm not that annoying!"

"Maybe. But you sure snore at night. That is annoying."

"Wh-! I don't. I know for a fact-"

No, you don't sound like close friends. You sound like a married couple. What just happened in this handful of months? Did Cyno hesitate too long and lost his chance? Now that he had decided to expose his deepest feelings?

"You guys! Paimon is starving here."

Paimon's shrill voice cuts short the bicker, as the Matra's jaw clenches. Good time, credits to Paimon, but seeing the two of you stroll towards the tavern didn't ease the knot in his chest the slightest.

Your laughter wasn't addressed to him nor to his uncanny jokes. He wasn't the one making you smile.

He was the moon and he'd just been eclipsed by the Traveller's brightest light.

Dinner was... Gut wrenching, to say the least.

You'd known Cyno long enough to tell apart his feelings even as he wears that stoic facade of his. While Paimon and the Traveller didn't have a single clue about the situation, you could feel his dry gaze burning holes on both of your figures, as if the sun had ascended back to the skies and everything around had turned desert.

He was feeling something you'd never quite seen within him.

It took you a bit too long to realise that the fair, lawful General Mahamatra was jealous, of all things.

He was so subtle with it, carefully hid his resentment in his voice and choice of words, in his gestures and mannerisms. But worst of all he didn't propose a single joke during the meal, not even when you laid the chance on a silver platter for him.

That had your mind reeling for the rest of your time together, and even afterwards, as you waved goodnight to Aether and Paimon. As you walked these streets you still know by heart with your dearest friend by your side.

As you choked on the thick air surrounding the two of you.

Maybe you should've left Aether out of it, for the first day, at least. Cyno hadn't seen you in so long, perhaps he didn't like the way Aether inadvertently hogged your attention the entire time when all he wanted was to hear about your adventures.

Yeah, you'd been an idiot for that one.

But, you still had an ace up your sleeve. Quite literally. One that would grant you his forgiveness and hopefully help you say the words to him.

Because of course, it took you less than a week far from him to realise you were smitten for this dad-jokes-spitting being.

You patted your side as you approached Razan Garden in all its glory, and sighed at the feeling of the rectangular box still inside. You could do it, you had to! It took you months of preparation, you wouldn't let it go to waste.

"[Name]." Cyno's voice was soft, as if to match the atmosphere lingering in the marble gazebo. He'd stopped a couple steps ahead of you, but didn't turn to meet your eyes. "My congratulations and best wishes."

You alt abruptly at that. Where the hell is it coming from?

"Uh, thank you?" You quirk a brow. "Did I do something special without knowing?"

He chuckles under his breath. Yes, you are special and he's grateful a being so perfect can exist in this world and is part of his life. But he would never tell you that.

He turns instead. His eyes rich with emotion, gentler. "I'm beyond glad that you found the right person out there, [Name]."

Oh. Oh.

"I only ever hoped for your happiness and well-being, during this period of time."

"Cyno, wait a sec-"

He takes a step forward. "If I had to voice my honest thoughts... I must admit I couldn't find peace of mind knowing you would've been out there alone."

"Cyno-"

"But I see you're perfectly capable of handling your own," the man sighs, shakes his head. A small smile curves his lips. "Just like you've always done."

"Oi-"

And then he's placing loose hands on your shoulders, as if he's in some kind of automatic mode and has to finish the speech at all costs.

For a moment you think he's gone absolutely senile. "Still, I'm relieved you have someone who can watch your back, now. He's a kind-hearted person, level headed, the best you could wish for-"

"Archons' fucking sake, Cyno! Will you hear me out a damn second?"

Cyno almost jumps back, taken out of his weird reverie, but you're quick to trap his face between your hands. You're close, closer than you'd wanted to, unfocused in your frustrated fervor. So much his breath warms the apple of your cheek, as it wasn't burning already.

You take a breath and force more words out before you can cower away from it. "I get where you're coming from, I neglected you today and acted like a shitty friend. And I'm sorry for that."

You lower your gaze to the ground. Now or never. "But it's you, okay? It's always been you! I could travel across all Teyvat and even Celestia, but it's you and just you. So drop that thing you're on about please."

That was disgustingly corny. But hopefully did the trick, you guess.

A beat passes. Then two. You don't see his face, you don't have the courage to take a look at the mess you've made. Him being jealous didn't mean he liked you, not necessarily. Maybe you should've given him the TCG deck and call it a night.

Another beat goes by.

"So... You and Aether are not...?"

He's gonna be the death of you.

You groan, a guttural sound that shouts exasperation from the deepest parts of your chest. All rationality goes to hell as you drag him closer and slam your lips together.

You're kissing him. Archons you're kissing him-

There's no time for Cyno to react. You're pulling away in a frenzy, hoping the ground will open for the Abyss to swallow you right now. You kissed one of your friends only to prove that you're single, and in fact attracted to them. Could it be worse than that? More humiliating and disrespectful to him?

"I'm so sorry!" You wave your hands around. "I shouldn't have without your permission! Are you okay?"

You search his expression for any sign of discomfort; he looks absolutely flabbergasted, but somehow weirdly composed like a bronze statue. His lips -god you'd just kissed them- are parted in the slightest, his eyes wide and yet still. The calm before the storm.

He's showing yet another sentiment you've never really seen him wear.

"Again." Cyno says.

You blink. "Uh?"

You feel his hand slither behind you and circle your waist, as he pushes your body closer. His skin is running hot like the desert's sands and you curse at his choice, or better lack of clothes.

His silver hair falls like a curtain, his eyes sharp. Dangerous, even, if you're not careful enough.

"Please, do it again. I think I've just seen the gates of Celestia." He mutters close to your lips.

That sounds more like him. You can't help but snort at his choice of words, shuddering all the same. The implications of said words dig a flaming hole in your chest.

"How can you be so smart, but dum dum at the same time?" You whisper, one hand traveling to the back of his neck, the other busying itself with stray locks of hair.

And you dip in for another kiss. One you sigh into, one that can be called kiss, actually. It's slower, but full all the same, scorching hot, pushed by feelings that were repressed for too long.

Cyno locks his free hand at your nape, never possessive, although firm. Small sounds bubble in the back of his throat when you bite at his lower lip, then backs just enough to mutter a couple words.

"Can you really blame me? It feels like a dream coming true." He pecks your lips, then presses his forehead to yours and closes his eyes. "I was scared you'd chosen him."

"So, all those pretty words from before?" You exhale a breathy laugh, cradling his jaw.

"I'd give away everything I have and am if it meant you'd be happy. I could only wish you the best and support you." Cyno smiles, pouting after the next words leave his mouth. "But it doesn't mean I would be fully content with the outcome."

Your brain has turned to mush. This man is too dangerous for this world, a hazard for you and your poor little heart that feels like exploding. It's a threat to your common sense and rationality. But most of all, it's damaging your brakes.

What he's telling you should not be legal.

"Archons, come here." And you kiss, and kiss, kiss again and again. You map each other's bodies with your hands as if it was the last time you'd be seeing each other. You press your mouths, clatter your teeth, intertwine your tongues.

You're straight up devouring in the dead silence of the night, in a public space. But as indecent the sounds you're both making are, it feels as if the world around blurred and blended into nothingness.

You've found yourself with your back to a wall, somehow, a couple buttons loose, skin hit by the cold air of the night. You -surely more clothed than Cyno- are an absolute mess, whereas his appearance doesn't falter much even at your hands' mercy.

It's unfair, he's unfair. He has no right to be this damn perfect even in the face of chaos.

"Not here, Cy." You manage to utter. "Let's go home."

His hand stops halfway up your shirt and he detaches from your neck with a small grunt, red splotches forming already thanks to his work. He doesn't sound pleased with your choice, but wordlessly complies, knocking you off your feet and picking you up so easily it's unfair.

And embarrassing.

You deadpan. "Seriously?"

He finds your eyes, suddenly composed as if nothing happened. "You seemed quite unstable on your legs, dear."

You're audibly gasping at that, whacking his chest and glaring daggers. "You!"

"Let's continue it home, now."

Cyno is really going to be the death of you, in many ways you'd never even considered.

It's almost dawn when you finally let yourselves snuggle up to each other in the peace of your home. More like his home, since yours needs more than a bit of cleaning after months of disuse, but he's made it clear already: everything that's his is also yours.

Cyno traces patterns on the bare skin of your arm, as you card through the knots on the back of his head, formed after... Recent activity. He seems too lost in your touch to even be awake, when his fingers stop.

"What was the surprise, in the end? Was it the confession?"

Your hands still, your face tightening at the question. When did you even... Oh, right.

"Would you be satisfied if I said yes?"

He pinches you.

"Owie!"

"You should know that what has been of this night matters more than anything, to me. Of course I would be satisfied." Cyno raises a thin brow, as his hand starts to descend agonizingly slow, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. "Was I not clear enough about my feelings? Perhaps you need a reminder-"

"Whoa, hold your horses, General." You chuckle, planting a kiss on his forehead before leaning over to your bedside table, where your bag had been thrown previously. "There was no way I'd come back empty handed after all these months, yanno?"

You pull out the wrapped box, place it in his hands. Cyno stares at it quizzically, but opens the packaging with care after you nudge him in the side.

Oh, his expression is so, so priceless. Cute, too cute, so cute you could die right now on the spot for excess of sugar in your blood. He looks like a kid who's just received the toy he oh so wanted and ranted about.

"It's not just any deck," You explain. "It's a deck made of cards I've gathered around from different regions. Some were more challenging to get, but I've been playing with you for a long time, haven't I? Of course I'd win."

Meanwhile Cyno takes the liberty to browse its contents, and just like you said, they're not from Sumeru. He's barely ever seen them, some are literally unknown, and he's ecstatic at the sight. How long did it take? How much effort?

"This is…" there's no right term to describe it. "Wonderful. You are wonderful, [Name]."

He goes for a hug and you feel like your bodies fit perfectly in each other's arms, as if it was meant to be. Right now, all that matters is this. And it will always be for all you care.

You smile into his shoulder, smooch the base of his neck. "Is it too early to say 'I love you?'."

"I would actually say we're late, Love."

"I love you, then, you Dum-Dum."

"I love you."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You are like my asthma. You just take my breath away."

You make sure Cyno slams his head as you throw him off the bed.

DON'T copy/repost my work. REBLOG instead! ©nyxthejinx

[luparaneo]

Lupa Plays Genshin: AQ Ch. 4 Act 2

in which a newbie player has a Theory, let's see how it plays out

ah looks like they address this plot point pretty quickly

Paimon blurting out "HI WE LIED TO GET INTO UR OFFICE SORRY" like GOD FUCKING DAMNIT YOU ARE THE WORST SIDEKICK ON THE PLANET

Good thing Neuv brushes it off like no big deal, because seeing what happens later I would NOT want to get on his bad side. like ever

NAVIA I THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL, HE CAN'T EVEN LOOK YOU IN THE EYES

I am going to FIGHT YOU BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKB- (worlds angriest chihuahua defends the feelings of a sentient Niagara Falls, more at 11)

anyway, we do a little sleuthin'

'Tag being a smartass lil shit in court, because of course he is

Furina being visibly knocked down a peg or two was greatly satisfying to see.

mesmerizing..

love that I grabbed this screenshot at the PERFECT moment so Neuv looks so fucking done with people barging in lmao

HE SAID THE THIIIIING

-guilty, ofc

"side character" my left buttcheek, you're practically the third protag behind the Traveller and Paimon with how much you get featured

what a tweest! (look at his "wait, what" face. adorable)

and after a brief moment of badassery..

-THIS is why I said I don't want to ever get on Neuv's bad side.

ඞ

anyway Marcel wants to hear the voice of his long lost love one last time, however...

"your wife/gf hates your very existence and won't come to the front of the consciousness right now, but we'll talk to you :) "

oh well, fuck that guy lmao. Now as we go on our way to Press F to Pay Respects...

:(

Navia makes peace with Neuv, the weather clears, and I'm now on my way to the next Act! Also, my theory:

The plot seems to be heavily hinting that the Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale actually is self-aware, as Neuv suspects, and it called out to Lyney during his stealth mission who panicked and noped the fuck out. So I think it needed to dial it up a notch and purposefully gave Childe a guilty verdict, because it needs something (like help, perhaps?) and throwing that curveball was the best way to get attention from some of the most powerful and brightest minds in Fontaine. Or, maybe it knows the "business" that Childe is up to and needed him out of the picture. Because as he well knows, it has never returned a different judgement than Neuv's own.

[teyvattherapist]

Another one, set directly after the one where Sandrone finds Childe~ :)

-

Sandrone-- by a feat of miracle-- snuck Ajax into his Academy room and squirreled the boy away into the cramped bathroom while he snuck into the infirmary again to retrieve a first aid kit. When he returned, Ajax had stripped off his coat and scarf, leaving him in a shirt that was more holes than fabric and his bloodstained shorts. Wordlessly, Sandrone handed him an energy bar he'd swiped from the cafeteria and wetted a towel, rubbing away the dirt and grime that layered Ajax like a second skin. As the dirt washed away, the wounds were brought into stark relief. Hundreds of them, layered over each other and crisscrossing Ajax's skin like gaping mouths. Some were fully healed, nothing but thin, silvery lines. Others were an angry red and purple, bruised and swollen around the edges. All had clean cuts, suggesting an expert hand behind the blade. "Who did this?" Sandrone asked. He wasn't really expecting an honest answer, anyway. But Ajax was always one to surprise him. "The Abyss. I fell into a hole in the ground, and I was taken away to somewhere." "Was it scary?" Sandrone didn't look up from his ministrations, choosing to focus on the mangled mess that was Ajax's knees (how hard did he fall?) "It was," Ajax sighed dreamily. "But the things I saw down there... it spoke to me. The Abyss spoke to me, Sulien. It told me things that scared the everloving hell out of me, but I'm grateful to them." "Why?" Sandrone finally looked up. There were a hundred questions packed into that one word. Why are you still alright? Why are you thanking the Abyss? Why do you sound so different?

And from the bloodied fragments of Ajax's face, the eye of the Abyss stared back at him, milky and purple. Ajax smiled, a pristine tear in the mangled visage of a beast rebuilt from the ground up. "So I can protect you."

IM SCREAMING, ALMOND, THIS IS

KJFDSKJDFS??

SULIEN BEING A SNEAKY LIL SHIT IS SO TRUE, THAT'S JUST HOW HE WAS-

BUT THE SO I CAN PROTECT YOU?? SO I CAN PROTECT YOU!! OH MY GOSDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. THE ?? JFDDF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!! I KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW THE LOFE, BUT THAT FITS SO WELL IM SCREAMING

as promised. Part two of Desiderium under the cut.

Another nightmare, another sleepless night. This nightmare was real though, it wasn’t like his usual ones, the ones where he was bound by chains and forced to- No, he didn’t want to think about those. His mind wandered to the latest one. He had given thought to Zhongli’s words, he was longing for somebody. But who? The God had never brought it up again, so he didn’t know. It had to be Lumine right? She was pretty, sure. Strong, good with a sword, her eyes were a nice shade of gold. But something still felt off.

He needed to take a walk.. He stopped when he reached the living room, blinking at.. Lumine? Asleep on his couch? The blonde stirred and pushed herself up some, blanket falling around her shoulders. “Sandrone? Ah- your mask- I- Sorry.” She averted her eyes and Sulien realised he wasn’t wearing his mask. This was his house! Of course he wasn’t wearing his mask. He cleared his throat.

“I thought I heard voices.” Ajax commented from the hallway, hair messier than ever from sleep. “I hope it's alright I invited Lumine to stay with us while she’s in Liyue Harbour. It's closer than the inn.” Ajax explained, seeing the panicked body language only he could understand on his fellow harbinger made him feel bad that he forgot to bring it up. Paimon snored away on the armchair, clearly unbothered by it all.

Without his mask, without his gloves, his scars and face on display. He felt uncomfortable. Incredibly uncomfortable. “I’m going for a walk.” Sulien pivoted and made a beeline for the entrance. Lumine rubbed her sleep riddled eyes, a small yawn escaping her as she looked up at Ajax who was busy staring at the archway into the entrance.

The door slammed shut.

“I’ve only known him for a month or so but,” she yawned, “I take it this is abnormal?” She sat up properly, tightening the blanket around her though. Liyue evenings could get quite cold. Ajax nodded his head in response to her question. Abnormal indeed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen such an influx of emotion. Perhaps when they were kids? That was probably it.

Sulien breathed in the fresh air, late at night, he didn’t need his mask, he didn’t need to be his rank. He could just be another nameless person in the streets, he preferred it this way. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants as he walked down the streets. Very few people were out and about so late at night, but he enjoyed watching them. A ghost of a smile on his lips as he watched lovers enjoying a late night getaway or a tired sailor returning home late.

But despite his usual late night activity that often cleared his mind, his mind began to fog once more. Trailing back to his dream, it wasn’t even that bad, especially compared to the usual ones. But being abandoned in a dream, he supposed, tied into the feelings he had been having recently. The stabbing pain in his poor heart, the squeezing of his lungs, stripping his body of blood and air.

There was no way it was about Lumine though. He didn’t feel anything when he looked at her except the pain, there was nothing underneath. He sighed, finding himself at the docks. He looked out on the dark water, lilac eyes searching the depths for answers. He furrowed his brows, all he could think of when he looked at the water, all he was reminded of.. Just one thing.

Ajax.

Sulien shook his head, no, he shouldn’t think of Ajax of all people. He couldn’t, that wasn’t allowed as far as he was aware. Well no relationship was allowed in general, he was their puppet after all, he couldn’t have any strings except to Her. But still.. This seemed somehow worse. His heart lurched at the thought and he hissed in pain, bringing his hand up to his chest, scarred fingers digging into the black fabric of his shirt.

All the books he had read, all the research he did. None of it had any answers for this. And he wondered why he felt wrong. Sulien sighed, sitting on the edge of the docks, legs dangling above the water. Ajax seemed happy with Lumine either way, right? They were much cuter together. Sulien never really belonged anyways, an outsider looking in on everybody else. He sighed, leaning back on his arms.

There were footsteps on the dock behind him and he tensed his body, ice already forming in his fingers. Then the familiar scent of cologne hit him and he watched as Ajax sat down on the docks beside him, wrapped up in Sulien’s coat of all things. Sulien’s heart hurt and he looked out at the water, it was becoming so frequent that it was more of a dull ache. Ajax deserved better than him, better than some man who couldn’t give him what he wanted.

“Talk to me.” Ajax whispered, dull eyes trained on the ocean. “You’re hurting and I want to be there this time.. I wasn’t.. I wasn’t last time.” The man hesitated, pulling one knee up and rested his arm against it. Sulien wished nothing more than for the waves to take him away, drown him until there was nothing left. He could not tell the man beside him how he felt, it was wrong. It wasn’t fair.

“I’m just sick, I’ll be fine.” Sulien manipulated his voice so he sounded more hoarse, as if to hammer in the point that it was nothing more than some freak illness. “We have field work tomorrow, you should go back home and sleep. I’ll walk you back.” Sulien stood and Ajax slowly followed him. But before Sulien could head off the docks, Ajax grabbed his elbow, stopping him.

“Please talk to me when you feel ready.” Sulien merely smiled, one of the ones that Ajax knew was fake and full of lies. But the ginger accepted it in the moment.

-

Sulien sighed as he summoned his claymore, flipping the massive weapon in one hand. The conversation from the day before played in his head, over and over. But he had work to do now. Why did Ajax care? What did he mean when he said he wasn’t there last time? Sulien swung his weapon, the frostbitten blade slicing clean through the arm of the Ruin Guard. He didn’t expect to be smacked by the automaton’s other arm, he barely protected himself with a wall of ice.

“Sandrone, pay attention!” Ajax called, utterly confused on why his colleague was so lost in thought. Ajax ripped apart his bow, the hydro blades forming as he slashed at the ruin guard. It was a simple side mission, really. Destroy the ruin guard near the skirmisher camp. Easy peasy between the two of them. Hell even alone, just one of them probably could have done it. But it was rare they both were allowed into the field together.

Sulien froze the ruin guard and Ajax’s daggers turned back into his bow, he nocked an arrow and drew his string back. Right through the core, bullseye. “Alright that’s that!” Ajax’s bow dematerialised as the automaton fell. There was a whirring nearby and Sulien narrowed his eyes, Ajax didn’t seem to hear it. But he did.

A wall of ice protected Ajax from the incoming missiles of another automaton. Sulien barely dodged the drill of a ruin hunter. Why were there so many all of a sudden? Ajax easily flipped out of the way of the hit of the ruin guard that had attacked him, sliding back to where he had been when fighting the first one. His bow appeared in his hand and he got into position again. “Tartaglia! How many did the Skirmishers report?” Sulien questioned as blocked an attack with his claymore.

His arms shook as the hunter tried to keep cutting downwards with its long sword-like attachment. He had to yield, ducking underneath it. Ajax bent down on his perch, pointing his bow upwards he released multiple hydro arrows into the air. “They only reported one ruin guard! There was no mention of multiples, let alone a hunter.” Ajax called back as another hydro arrow appeared between his fingers.

Now underneath it the ruin hunter decided this was the time to use lasers. Sulien barely constructed the dome around himself in time, manipulating the frost in the air and creating a solid ice dome. A fourth automaton had Ajax seething, how in the hell did their subordinates miss this? When the one he had been fighting slammed its hand onto Ajax’s perch he used its arm as a bridge, bow turning into a polearm.

The ice around Sulien melted but before he could react a second ruin hunter was slamming into him, sending him flying backwards. “Sulien! Careful!” Ajax called, stabbing his polearm into the core of the ruin guard. Sulien got back up, dodging out of the way of one of the hunters. He ran for his claymore, weaving between various attacks as quickly as he could while Ajax struggled with the ruin guard.

Sulien picked his claymore back up and adjusted his grip on the weapon, he slashed at the legs of the ruin guard Ajax was battling, sending the automaton to the ground, the whirring of its body stopping. Two ruin hunters left- Sulien turned around and was faced with three. What in the world- “Something is summoning them here, Tartaglia. This is abnormal.” Sulien adjusted his grip on his blade, peering through the new crack in his mask. He’d have to fix it again.

A bright light beside him blinded him and Sulien hissed as he turned away from Ajax. He didn’t really have time to focus on the transformation as he shielded the both of them from the incoming missiles. A wall of ice reinforced with vines splintered and exploded, the shards turning into snowflakes as they fell from it. At least the wall had lasted against the missiles.

While Sulien thoroughly distracted one of the ruin hunters, Ajax focused on the other two, he brought his hand down, summoning multiple thunderbolts onto one of the ruin hunters, causing it to collapse to the ground, stunned from the electricity. His bow turned into a water spear as he dashed forward, the water from his weapon spraying the automaton, thoroughly frying it. Sulien’s claymore became encased in ice once more, and the ruin hunter he had to deal with was down for the count.

Ajax turned his attention to the last ruin hunter, turning in time to watch the missiles coming at him. He used his ability to blink, reappearing closer toSulien who was looking worse for wear quite frankly. Ajax lunged forward once more, a wheel of electrified water surrounding the ruin hunter, tightening on it. Sulien stepped forward, releasing a blast of ice that froze the machine, causing it to fall from its awkward frozen position, shattering upon contact on the ground. Ajax was beaming, still in his Abyss form but he let himself actually touch the ground rather than float and he turned towards Sulien.

Sulien's claymore dug into the stone and he used it to keep himself up. Ajax closed the distance between them, his weapon floating beside him. Sulien collapsed onto his knees, the large weapon giving out underneath his weight and clattering to the stone floor of the ruin. Funny.. This didn't hurt as much as the heart problems had been hurting.. Life was funny that way. "Hey, hey what happened?" Ajax shifted back, he was exhausted from the fight and using foul legacy. His eyes trailed down to where Sulien's hand was pressed against his side. Ajax gripped the man's hand, pulling it back. The dark green of his palm stained even darker.

"The ruin hunter hit me." Sulien's head hung low, the mask he wore finally giving out, falling to the stone floor, the crack that had started to form fully breaking through the fragile mask. Ajax wished that Sulien didn't look so void, maybe it could help him assess the extent of the wound. Ajax helped Sulien out of the coat he wore, discarding the heavy material onto the ground. The touch was electrifying to Sulien, whose heart only clenched more. So many things unsaid.. But even now, he figured, he didn't deserve the right to say them.

Ajax pulled the man's shirt up, inspecting the wound. It was bad. Really bad. Sulien didn't even flinch when the man used his hydro vision to try and get rid of some of the blood to see better. "I never wanted this." Sulien mumbled as he stared up at the sky. Yes that much was true, Sulien never wanted to be on the battlefield. He was not a warrior. At one time he wanted to be a scholar, he wanted to teach. All of that ripped away with his memories. This was the end Ajax wanted, surrounded by bodies on the battlefield. Ajax ripped the banner he wore, pressing the fabric against the wound.

"Sulien, keep your eyes open, okay? I'll get you help." Would he be strong enough to carry Sulien and his weapon all the way back to Liyue Harbour? Sulien laughed, it was bitter though and it made Ajax's heart hurt. They both had so many things left unsaid. Ajax grunted as he lifted Sulien, the man hadn't listened. Though, when did he ever listen, Ajax mused. The harbinger had to use foul legacy again, there was no way he'd be able to get from the ruins all the way back to the harbour. The warm blood on his hands made the decision for him.

The stares he got as he moved through Liyue Harbour meant nothing to him, he kept Sulien's coat over the man in question, shielding his face and wound from the general public. The claymore in his free hand as he quickly moved through the streets. There were so many things Ajax hadn't said, so many things he felt, so many things he wanted to do. He gripped the man in his arm tighter.

Ajax kicked the door open, much to the surprise of Zhongli and his guests who watched as the large abyssal creature ducked to get through the doorway. Ajax dropped the claymore in the entrance way, letting the weapon clatter to the ground. He then shifted back, all but falling to his knees, Sulien’s still body rolling from his arms. Ajax slammed his hand into the ground as he tried to push himself back up.

“Help, help him please.” But he found himself unable to get up, breathing too unsteady, his own wounds catching up with him as the adrenalin was all but gone. Zhongli dropped his teacup, moving quickly he picked up Sulien, bringing him further into the house. At least Ajax could rest now, leaning his head against the hallway wall.

“Lumine, go get Baizhu please. Paimon, could you bring me the medical kit from the kitchen?” Zhongli lowered Sulien down onto the couch, pulling the fabric away from the wound the God grimaced. Lumine nodded, stepping over Ajax to get out the door as fast as she could. Paimon also listened, despite her small frame she managed to drag the medical kit into the living room. Zhongli peeled his gloves off and rolled up his sleeves as he tried to stop the flow of blood now staining his furniture.

-

“He should recover if he doesn’t get an infection. But do you think it is wise to treat Fatui? One less Harbinger may be-”

“I appreciate your concern, but Sandrone is a good friend no matter his occupation. He can’t help his work. Thank you for coming. Have a good night Baizhu.” Zhongli shut the door soon after and then returned to the living room. Sulien was asleep on the couch, a thin blanket covering his lower half while his torso was wrapped in multiple bandages. Ajax, meanwhile, was sitting on the ground, holding Sulien’s hand, head resting against the couch.

“They look kinda cute.” Paimon’s whisper was absolutely not a whisper, but at least she tried as she floated between Zhongli and Lumine, a smile on her face despite the fact it was two harbingers in front of her. She couldn’t know, there was no way for her to know what the two men in front of her have been through. Both alone and together. The scars could give her a hint. But that was it, and she was too naive to get it. And so to her, they were just bloodsoaked warriors who fought in the name of something she did not understand.

To Zhongli though, he’d seen this story play out thousands of times throughout history, and all he could muster was a frown, especially as his eyes traced the scars on Sulien's bare chest. As he retraced their previous conversations, he had first thought maybe it was Lumine. But as he watched the way Ajax nearly killed himself for the man. Zhongli sighed softly. What a tragic position to be in indeed.

“I’ll bring him home. Thank you for helping.” Ajax stood slowly, wincing at the pain he felt. He was in a bad state himself. Lumine held out the tattered coat, the black and navy fabric stained in hidden crimson. Ajax took it, wrapping it around Sulien before hoisting him up with a grunt. Sulien stirred in his arms but remained asleep. “I’ll pick up his claymore tomorrow.” Ajax couldn’t carry the weapon right now.

“Be safe.”

-

Sulien blinked at the ceiling of his bedroom. It was light outside, but the room was dark, the curtains drawn shut. His side hurt like hell, the events of what happened melding into his fragmented memory though, and he couldn’t quite recall at the moment. He felt weight shift in the bed beside him and he tensed immediately. There were very few he’d ever let close enough to him who-

“I know you’re sleeping but..” Ajax started with a soft sigh and Sulien promptly squeezed his eyes shut and evened out his breathing as if he were sleeping. “I think I know why you’ve been sick lately.. It’s the same reason why I’m sick.” Sulien wanted to furrow his brow as he quickly grew confused but opted to continue pretending he was asleep.

“I thought spending time with Lumine would take my mind off of you but it didn’t.” So he had been doing it on purpose. “Lumine is nice and all. But she’s not you.” Sulien could feel Ajax’s warm hand against his cold one, his long slender fingers playing with the scarred skin of Sulien’s hand. “I just don’t want to ruin the friendship we have if you don’t feel the same. So I tell you when you’re asleep like a coward.” Ajax sighed to himself. “This is so pathetic of me.” He mumbled.

“And then it’s my fault you’re hurt, they were my subordinates and my mission.” Ajax’s voice cracked and he didn’t even try to hide it. Though, Sulien supposed when you’re talking to somebody who is asleep, there’s nothing to hide. “All I do is fail you, what kind of friend am I? If I can’t even be a good friend, how am I supposed to be a good enough lover to tell you how I feel?” Ajax intertwined their fingers, but his touch was so hesitant. His hand was so warm, too.

“You say it all the time.. We’re just pawns in all of this.. This is one choice I have control over in this mess and yet I can’t even make it. You deserve so much more.” Ajax pulled his hand away and Sulien missed the comforting warmth. “You deserve somebody who can help heal those wounds, not.. A bloodthirsty monster like me. Whew, okay.. That helped. Good job Ajax.” Ajax mumbled to himself, a soft sigh of relief now that the weight was off of his chest.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Ajax sat up, dull eyes wide as he looked down at Sulien whose eyes were still closed. “I don’t really know how love is supposed to feel. But I think I feel it.” The man sighed, he didn’t know very much it would seem. “Could I have your hand back? I like how warm you are.” Sulien finally opened his eyes to Ajax staring at him, a range of emotions on the ginger’s face. Huh.. Had he always had that many freckles on his face? Cute.

“How much did you hear?!”

“All of it.” Ajax inhaled sharply, panic setting in. Sulien reached out, grabbing Ajax’s hand, warm. “You deserve somebody who understands the things they are feeling. And I’m not that. But I can try to learn..” Sulien cleared his throat, it hurt to speak but he couldn’t really remember the last time he had. He must have been hit pretty hard. “Te-” he hesitated, looking away from Ajax’s shocked expression and out the window. “Teach me.”

Ajax settled back down on the bed, intertwining their fingers once more. “Okay.. I’ll teach you.”