#Papa Wolf is built different gdi

[apostlearcana]

I am once again yelling about the concept of Zenkichi and Valjean being able to communicate with each other.

—

It was a strange place to be, the subconscious. The birthplace of the rebel self, where Shadows roamed about until their other self was ready to accept the part of themself they had turned a blind eye towards for so long, could be cold and harsh; change could be harsh. 

Yet there was one space that was different from all the teenagers and kids and animals across the years that had awakened their Personas over time. At first, it was certainly cold and distant. Hell, it was even more-so than others before their awakening.

Twenty plus years fighting and pushing away the desire to change and not become stagnant, to keep the head down and tail drooped like a dog chained to the red tape of justice with no way to free himself except to yank off the metal links with a ferocity he had long forgotten and call upon the name that danced on his lips and rang clear in his head.

"Valjean."

It felt off to say the name in the bathroom at 1.39 AM in the wee morning hours of a Saturday, but it wasn't like he was going to be able to sleep much anyway. The kids were snoozing in the room next to his, and if there was any other time to speak to the demon he had forged a contract with months ago- but really, it felt like years- he didn't know when it was.

Now was as good a time as any to not feel like he was going crazy around those kids more than he already was.

Zenkichi sighed and ran his fingers along the mirror, tracing his body outline. "I know you've been quiet since the bar, Valjean. And I want to talk about it."

Two long minutes ticked by. 1.41 AM. He wondered if the demon was sleeping. …could they sleep?

Suddenly his visage began to shift and distort. He lost his glasses, his hair loosely back in that familiar ponytail; his eyes were yellow, scars on his face and leaning against the sink in the same posture as his contract.

[There's nothing to discuss.]

"Considering you've been quiet since Ren's been here and the bar, I'd say there's something to talk about. There's a lot to talk about." Zenkichi squinted. "Not like we have a better time to, too."

[Why are you so curious?] Bitterness was clear. [You've never worried before about me.]

"You never seemed to worry about me until the night we went to go have drinks with Maruki and…" He took a deep breath. "…I don't know what you did. But you've changed, and not for the better."

Valjean didn't answer. In fact, he looked away from the other.

"What happens to you affects me."

—

'You treated him like a prisoner. Or a dog. The arrest position, chaining him until he rebelled, going berserk and breaking his bones. Don't you regret anything you've done?'

—

"What happened, Valjean?"

[… …you deserve better than me.]

Zenkichi didn't blink, eyes still softening. "What?"

[You don't deserve me as your Persona. You deserve better.]

Zenkichi's jaw tightened.

[I couldn't stop a cognitive trauma loop. I put you through so much before your awakening, and even now…] Another bitter laugh. [It must be satisfying to finally see me put into my place after everything I've done to you, Zenkichi. To see your Persona doubting himself and wondering if he's done more harm than good by existing.]

Zenkichi's ears were ringing, and he clenched the sink tightly. The quietest echo of a thought could be heard in his head. Defeated.

'...but then... they rarely know me for my gentle self.'

"I'm not satisfied. Happy. …actually, I'm kind of pissed at you."

Valjean looked back now, throat tightening. [Zenkichi?]

"You're putting words in my mouth and assuming things about me- like I assume things as well." 

He took a deep breath.

"Just like how we're both ashamed about what happened after her death."

[!!!!!]

"I figured it out, by the way; you were that push. The one egging me on about chasing the ones who knew information about Owada. And I know you're as afraid as I am about them knowing, finding out. All of it." He bit the inside of his mouth. "That we won't have anyone."

[...Zenkichi...]

"But they need to know, Valjean. They deserve to know. If you want to tell them you did it and take the blame, I won't stop you." He sighed. "But I followed through."

Valjean was quiet.

"That vow you made me take to seal our contract wasn't just something stupid or fake. You're my Persona for a reason, and- I wouldn't change that. For anything."

[What…?]

"I'd take any kind of pain for those kids, for Akane. And I'd do anything for them too, no matter what. And if that means I could get hurt regardless of the circumstances?" His gaze hardened. "It's a risk I'll always take, Valjean. Even with your self-destructive abilities. Besides, it's not always about fighting; isn't it about being the one not-so-shitty adult in the room that can support them when they don't want an adult's touch?"

[... ...I suppose so.]

Zenkichi closed his eyes. "I don't want you to ever say that again, that you're not good enough for me. That's a lie- and you know it. We were made for each other; I have the brains, and you've got the brawn. Right?"

Valjean smiled faintly in the mirror. [Hah...]

"What's so funny?!"

[Nothing. Just- proud of you. Proud of the little police dog that's grown into his own as a protective papa wolf.]

"Hearing praise from you is weird."

[Then I suppose you'll have to get used to it.]