#Phobos (And Jeb a little bit ngl): *I* should be their Scrunkly Scrimblo 😡

[saltymongoose]

OK so sorry for sending so much art but I think it's Crackpot time I like to think that at first Crackpot would be nice and friendly to player because 1) to not get punished and 2) to piss off Jeb since he seems to like them SOOO much. But the player is so genuinely nice and interested in him, he starts enjoying their presence (also the warmth which is always a plus). Also it helps he's on Phobos' good side (sorta) so he gets more chances to talk to them then Jeb. Also with the whole "Scrunkly" thing, Player might accidentally call him that which leaves his very confused, but they said it in a positive tone so he just gives a "thanks?" ALSO WITH THE GEN Z JEB ASK IMAGINE PLAYER CALLING CRACKPOT ALL THESE THINGS STARTS MAKING JEB JEALOUS AND MAD BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT THEY MEAN,,, and going way back to the "Player fanclub" thing,,, Crackpot finds out and is like "OH MY GOODNESS!! THIS IS SO DISGUSTING!!! IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME EACH OF ALL THE MERCH AND ACCESS TO THE WRITING I'M TELLING PHOBOS" because he's just like that.

!Okay, first of all, omg they look so cute in this art! I don't know how you do it with these expressions, but they're perfect every time. I love it, thank you lol. <3333

Secondly, with Crackpot specifically, I actually think this is very likely. Crackpot (and everyone else in the Nexus) knows what happens when anyone speaks ill of you or does anything close to hostility when in your presence. At first, acting nice is a way for him to avoid any ire from the Director. But he'd also be blind if he didn't notice Christoff's odd fondness for you and considering Crackpot's rivalry with him, I can totally see him trying to get in your good graces just to piss him off lol.

(More under the cut because omg this response is long.)

The error on his part is that he didn't realize how nice you actually are. It's probably just because he expected you to be like everybody else in Nevada (just because Phobos and Jeb liked you didn't mean you weren't manipulative or out for yourself, like how most people associated with the Nexus were). But you're so genuinely kind? You ask him how he is, and offer to bring him coffee or treats from the break room (which you requested to be there for the workers to begin with). You compliment his mask and ask in-depth questions about his work. You never ridicule him, and you listen intently whenever he explains something. Even weirder, you don't ask for anything in return or use the information he hesitantly gives you for any selfish reason.

It's odd but very refreshing for him. He starts to enjoy being around you and looking forward to your discussions (which happen quite often, even if his constant competition with Jeb can get a bit annoying). Your status and warmth are another bonus, as is the fact that he can actually hang out with you more often (a plus of being one of Phobos' favored scientists).

Jeb, of course, is less than pleased with your sudden closeness with Crackpot. For one, Crackpot is a moron. Book smart, but almost completely lacking in common sense (case in point, Plan Zed). He's egotistical, and a complete suck-up to Phobos. He doesn't see why you'd waste your time around him. Sure, he's nice to you (which is just grating), but Jeb doesn't understand why you'd bother with him - not when you have himself or Hofnarr to be around. It's even worse when you call him affectionate names from your world.

Crackpot has no clue what you mean when you say he's a "scrunkly scrimblo" or a "blorbo" but you say it with the most adoring tone that he can't help but accept it. Jeb knows what it means though (at least in the Gen Z Player version lmao) and he's a little ticked off at it, to say the least. He just gives the scientist the most scathing glare from across the room whenever he hears you say those words. However, this just incentivizes Crackpot to lean more into being your "scrunkly" or whatever. Like when Phobos is openly berating Jeb, Crackpot just says something like "This is why you're not the Player's Spoingle, and I am" just because it makes Jeb more annoyed. (Will he get punched for it? Yes. Maybe.)

(Although if he does it while Phobos is there, he'll have to explain wtf those terms actually mean; the Director is not going to allow anyone else to be anything special to you if he can't hold that position himself.)

Excellent point with the fanclub stuff too. I think that Crackpot would probably notice the club stuff going on passively before he actually gets to know you, so he wouldn't care about it that much at first. But he only gets to know its true extent when he actually searches for more stuff about it (and ends up walking into the room where they've set up all their "stores" for stuff related to you, and sees the boards where people talk about their fanfics).

Is he going to buy anything? No. But what he is going to do is threaten them just to get some of it lol. He'll talk down to the Agents while also claiming specific items for himself, speaking of how disgusting and volatile this is while making them write down what sites they use for the writing. They just give each other looks before cooperating, because it's not like Crackpot's being slick with what he's doing. He might even demand to be given some power over the fanclub (clubs have presidents and such, right?) so the agents in it just decide to secretly make up a role so he doesn't have that much influence over it. Unbeknownst to him, of course.

I can also see him flaunting his merch of you in front of Jebus, again, just to piss him off. Although knowing Jeb, he'd probably fire back with something about how your close relationship cannot be defined by mere things and materialism, so that might be another argument that'll happen lmao.