#Poor Tani is exhausted

[saratogaroadwrites]

For King and Country (70/122)

For King and Country | saratogaroad rating: T total wordcount:  280,466 characters: Evan Pettiwhisker Tildrum, Roland Crane, Aranella, Batu, Tani, Lofty, Leander Aristidies, Bracken Meadows relationships: Roland Crane & Evan Pettiwhisker Tildrum, Aranella & Evan Pettiwhisker Tildrum, Roland Crane & Aranella, Batu & Tani, Batu & Evan, Tani & Evan, Evan Pettiwhisker Tildrum & Lofty, Rolander other tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Mother-Son Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Place Slowly Becomes Home People Slowly Become Family, Found Family, For Want of A Nail warnings: none

Pulled from his world by mysterious powers, former president Roland Crane finds himself caught in the middle of a coup meant to take the life of the young King Evan Pettiwhisker Tildrum. Joining forces with Aranella, the pair of them set out to aid Evan in making his dream of a kingdom where everyone can live happily ever after a reality.

But the road to peace is a long and treacherous one and there is no promise of success in a world where darkness spreads ever thicker with each passing day. If they are to stand a chance, they must stand together, for king and for country.

(A retelling.)

=

“The city’s a complete mess,” Bracken said, passing President Vector one of the book-sized glowing screens she was so fond of using. It made the same beeping sounds as the other machines did when he poked and tapped at it, his grimace deepening with every beep and boop. “We’ve got structural damage all the way down to ground level. Some of the residential blocks almost came off their anchors, too.”

President Vector jerked his head up. “Wha—was anyone hurt?!”

“Scared out of their minds, but nothing but bumps and bruises, thankfully,” Bracken sighed, sitting down in the chair to President Vector’s right. She leaned her cheek in the palm of one hand, closing her eyes. “You’re looking at the worst injuries right here.”

And that was saying quite a lot, Leander thought to himself. He glanced around the conference table. Though the Delegation had triumphed over Bastion—with a hefty dose of help from a bolstered Lofty—the long battle had left them all battered and bruised and bloody, more exhausted than a night of fighting with robots and machines ever could have made them. Tani had slumped in her stiff-backed chair, arms cushioning her head on the table. Evan was looking at her jealously, a fact for which Leander could not blame him. The poor boy was only thirteen.

And then there was Roland. His panic had left him drained, near to passing out if Leander had to make a guess, but he was sitting up so straight and rigid one could have mistaken him for a statue. He hadn’t taken his eyes off of Vector since they had gotten into the conference room, and that was starting to worry Leander. He met Lady Aranella’s eyes across the table; she nodded faintly. She’d seen it too.

“President Vector,” Evan began, sitting as tall as his tired body seemed willing to let him, “Evermore stands ready to assist Broadleaf in whatever way can. We can have supplies here as early as this afternoon, if the need is there.”

“No, we’re fine there,” Vector said, setting the glowing thing down beside him. “But you can give us some intel. I want to know more about this guy who made off with my Kingsbond. How in the world did he manage that?”

“We still aren’t quite sure of the how,” Evan said, tightening his jaw around what had to be a yawn. He exhaled heavily and said, “But he goes by the name Doloran. We are…well, we’re fairly sure that he is the former king of an ancient kingdom known as Allegoria. He is trying to resurrect his Kingmaker, and for that he needs the power the Kingsbonds contain.”

“Which leads to the stealing,” Bracken made a face. “How many does he have?”

“Three, to our knowledge,” Lady Aranella said. “He had already made off with the Kingsbonds of Goldpaw and Hydropolis, though we haven’t heard much from Ding Dong Dell as of yet.”

“Well,” Vector clapped his hands together, “No news is good news, as I always say. I bet I could rig something up to keep this from happening to Dell. That’ll stop him dead in his tracks!”

“I am afraid it is not that simple,” Leander said, removing his glasses to try and take the edge off his headache. Vector’s face turned into a blob as the edges blurred out. He sighed and set his glasses into his collar. “Doloran manipulates a person’s worst fears, amplifying them beyond all measure of control and causing them to act out of sorts. When this turns their people against them, the bond between King and Kingmaker begins to fray. Then he simply waits until it is too weak to withstand an assault.” He sat back in his chair. “That is when he strikes. So unless you have a way to hold back the Darkness in a magical sense, I am afraid there is little you can do in this situation.”

Maybe he’d been a little harsh, he thought, because Vector went quiet and lay a hand to his chest. Leander fought to keep his face cool. Honestly, the man was lucky the worst he’d suffered was a bit of weakness from the forcible removal of his Kingsbond. Nerea hadn’t fared nearly as well, but then…she had been taken over by an outside force and used as a puppet. Vector had fallen prey to his own weakness.

“Is that…” Vector frowned, “…Is that what happened to me?”

“Pff, no,” Lofty butted in, spread flat on the table. He waved a hand through the air. “But youer Heart sure was busted clean down the middle. Lucky it didn’t make a Nightmare!”

“A Broken Heart,” Bracken shook her head into her palm. “I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around that. It just…doesn’t seem possible.”

“Pah!” Lofty helfted himself up to sit, bracing his weight on both hands. “Used to be people didn’t think any o’this would be possible,” He gestured around the metal conference room with one hand, only to have to quickly catch himself as he tipped sideways. Levering himself to stand, he crossed his arms over his chest. “In youer case, though….I’m guessin’ it had something to do with that ol’ Reactor o youers.” He tipped his head back. “Project ‘en’t going so smooth like, yeah?”

Vector and Bracken both stared at the little Kingmaker, eyes wide with shock. Leander fought back a smile; Lofty was a bit of a handful, but he was wiser than most would have given him credit for. He certainly knew how to hit a nail on its head.

“No,” Vector shook his head, “No, it hasn’t. It’s been stalled for nearly six months now!” He sat back, confused. “But could that really have caused…all of this?”

“Sure!” Lofty nodded, “Get frustrated ‘nough, or desperate ‘nough, and youer Heart just can’t take it no more. Somethin’ll give way.” He looked to Bracken pensively. “We’re just lucky we got it in time for ol’ Bracken by yur to fix it.”

They were, though whether it was by luck or divine grace, Leander couldn’t say. He tried not to think too unkindly about the entire mess. It was good that Vector had avoided having to deal with the sort of Darkness that Nerea had, truly, and better still that Bracken knew her friend so well as to pull him back from his abyss, but…

Well, it just didn’t seem fair. Leander almost snorted. He knew better than to assume that life would be fair. Glancing sidelong at Roland, he swallowed a sigh.

Yes, he knew better than to assume life would be fair in any sense of the word. Leander closed his eyes.

"Is there any way to get the Kingsbonds back?" Vector asked, his voice taking on a more subdued note. "I'd...I'd really like Bastion back right about now, you know."

"You could always challenge him again when he wakes," Lady Aranella quipped primly, her tone nothing but polite. Bracken and Vector both leaned back anyway, and Leander stifled a smile. None of them were happy about this turn of events, that was for certain, but it was nice to see Lady Aranella turning that wrath onto other people for once. Especially if they were fools in need of a good verbal thrashing.

"We'll take that under advisement. Right, so--" Bracken cleared her throat, “What’s left for you guys now? You came here to talk to Zip, right? Was it just about Doloran?”

“No,” Evan shook his head. Bracing himself, Leander sat up straight. Here they were at the meat of the issue. “We also came to seek an alliance with Broadleaf. Now that your Kingsbond has been severed, it is only a matter of time before Bastion resurfaces and attacks again. By uniting our lands, you will all be under Lofty’s protection. And…” He laughed sheepishly, scratching at a still red scrape on his cheek. “We intend to join the world together as one single nation. Having Broadleaf on our side would be a tremendous step forward.”

And a tremendous help in scaring Mausinger straight, Leander thought to himself. With the might of four great nations bearing down on them, there would be no reason for Dell to not come quietly. He hoped so, at least.

“Permission to speak freely, your Majesty?” Roland asked suddenly, his formal voice as cold as ice. Everyone turned slowly to stare at him. Evan had gone still, hand over his arms band. He blinked.

“O-of course, Consul,” he said, “You needn’t ask that.”

“Are we sure that joining Broadleaf to the Union is the best idea?” Roland asked. Crossing his arms over his chest, he gave Vector a look so full of venom that Leander was honestly a little surprised the man didn’t drop where he sat. “We need people that can be trusted in the Union. Can’t say that’s what’s going on here.”

“Roland…” Evan breathed, startled. Across the table, President Vector sputtered. He leaned forward, eyes flashing.

“Hey, if you’re talking about what I was doing earlier, that’s—”

“Only half the problem,” Roland cut him off. Lady Aranella began to rise from her chair, but Roland continued as if were just he and Vector in the room. “You built an unstable reactor capable of leveling half a continent in the middle of your own damn city. All It would have taken was one misstep and everyone from here to Hamelin would have been dead.”

Vector paled. He shook his head, sputtering, “T-that wouldn’t have happened! The Reactor was completely under control—”

“Until you lost your damn mind!” Roland shouted, leaping out of his chair and slamming both hands to the table. The Higgledies scattered with startled cries; Tani jolted awake with a yelp, her chair nearly tipping back had it not been for Batu catching her at the last second. Everyone turned wide-eyes on Roland, but he wasn’t looking at them. Leander felt his mouth drop; he had never seen Roland this upset before. The man had always struck him as too stoic, too calm, to have this sort of anger.

Perhaps the saying still waters run deep was true after all.

“You nearly blew up your own country, your own people, and for what? To say that you had the most powerful engine on the planet?”

“To provide for my people!” President Vector got to his feet, glaring back at Roland. “Which is something I bet you’d know nothing about! You’re just some over-dressed bodyguard and—”

Evan leapt to his feet. “Enough!” He shouted, startling the two men into staring at him. His tail lashed behind him. “Please! We won’t get anywhere by arguing!” He looked sternly at Vector; the man stared back at him for a moment, then sat back down with a huff and looked away. Evan took a deep breath and turned to Roland.

“Consul Crane,” he said stiffly, “I think it may be best if you sit out the rest of this discussion.”

Roland grit his teeth so hard that Leander could see the skin of his jaw turn paper white. Evan held his ground, and after a few tense seconds, Roland bowed his head.

“Of course, your Majesty. Excuse me.”

Without another word, he slipped out from his spot at the table. The door whooshed open to let him pass, then clanged shut behind him. Evan sat back down, shoulders slumping. Silence filled the room, thick and awkward as everyone stared at the door. Leander’s heart gave a lurch; something was very wrong. He needed to find out what.

But his King needed him more now. From his seat beside Leander, Batu cleared his throat.

“If ye ain’t gonna be needin’ me, yer Majesty, I’d best be gettin’ after the swab.” He eyed Vector and the stone-faced Bracken warily. “Be sure he don’t get into trouble.”

Evan nodded. “Yes, of course. Thank you, Minister Batu.”

Quick as he could, Batu headed out of the room. Leander fought back a sigh and slipped his glasses back to his nose. Evan sniffled once, then pulled the Declaration from his arms band.

“My apologies, President Vector,” he said, voice stiff and formal. “It has been a…very long day.”

“Sure, sure,” Vector cleared his throat, “No harm done. Just—” he twisted in his chair to look at the door, “Can I ask what the heck was that?”

Everyone shook their heads. Evan squirmed in his seat and looked at the door. Leander saw his eyes well with tears, though they were gone after he blinked.

“…Truly? I don’t know.”

When had his young King become such a good liar, Leander wondered. He eyed the door.

And just what, exactly, was Roland hiding?

[succulentsunrise]

Where the Fire Lilies Grow

Content: SFW!

Time to see how far Tani gets in the Royal Knights Exam!! 

Also, a guest appearance of @thoughtfullyrainynightmare‘s Solara Equinox! She is so cool, I couldn’t help but have her here (with her permission, ofc!!) 🥰

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Chapter 4: The Trial

“You learn something valuable from all of the significant events and people, but you never touch your true potential until you challenge yourself to go beyond imposed limitations.” Roy T. Bennett

“They don’t seem to be taking the bait,” Tani remarked quietly.

The group had been holed up behind the remnants of a ruin for quite a while now, all slightly scattered in preparation for an ambush. The forest behind them provided some cover for them as well. They had chosen these further away ruins in anticipation of the other team advancing on them, but they were nowhere to be seen.

“Anyone have any detection abilities?” Adrastea asked, her eyes scanning the area.

Gamma shook his head decisively.

“If we were in a more fiery environment, perhaps,” he started, but shook his head again. “No, no.”

“I could try to locate them, but it would take a considerable chunk of my mana,” Tani offered hesitantly.

In such a large area, using the spell would drain most of her mana, probably. Unless one of the other group’s members used water magic while she was using hers, she’d have to go through the whole area slowly and carefully.

“Do it,” Adrastea snapped, her brow furrowed. “We are on a time limit.”

Tani gave her a glare, but dropped on her knees to the ground.

“You better protect the crystal then. This will take a while - and suppress your mana.”

She placed both of her hands on the ground and took a deep breath. Nature was her element, her home. She could do this.

“「The Thirst of the Cacti」,” Tani spoke, drawing on her mana to create a fat spine of a cactus. Its roots rumbled to the earth, vanishing from sight.

Still, she could feel them moving underground, seeking, being drawn onto mana signals. She was grateful for the silence and tension around her, as her teammates waited for results. Tani concentrated on the roots as they stretched beyond their natural limits in their thirst. They would only stop growing once they found what they were looking for. The more mana she poured into it, the longer the roots spread. Then - water. Yes, she could sense water.

“They are doing something to the east of us. In the forest on the other side of the battlefield, I believe,” Tani informed her team quickly. “One of them is a water mage. My roots picked up his magic. Gamma, can you throw that far?”

“Not in a million years,” the blonde boy answered, glancing towards the eastern parts.

“Let’s move forward, to the ruins in the middle,” Adrastea suggested, wrapping silken scarves around the crystal to both protect and move it.

“I should be able to hit them from there,” Gamma confirmed, also getting up.

Tani held a hand above her cactus, looking fondly at it. It would have to wither now without a source of mana, unfortunately. She moved to be behind Adrastea, protecting the rear while Gamma took the front. They moved quickly. They’d have to hope the other three hadn’t noticed anything, or otherwise Gamma’s projectiles wouldn’t be able to hit them. They duck behind another wall, this time all together.

“「Silken Embrace」,” Adrastea chanted, wrapping further layers of silk around the crystal.

It looked more like a cocoon than a crystal by now. Gamma lifted himself up to the wall of the ruins without much trouble. Tani quickly entwined her fingers and cast another spell: 「Ginseng Gaze」. From her fingers flew red, star-shaped petals of a ginseng flower, entwining together into a plant. She gave it to the blonde boy, who tucked it behind his ear.

“What’s--oh!” he started, but stopped as he seemed to realize its effects.

“It’s helping you work with your mana,” Tani still explained. “You should have better control over your abilities.”

At least she hoped it did. Icree went on and on about how she should learn about other types of magic so that her magic could support them better. Knowing is stronger than any amount of mana, Icree kept telling her. Tani had only ever augmented her friends’ abilities. It had been a little bit of trial-and-error-thing even then. A giant mass of hot magma suddenly appeared in Gamma’s hand, as the boy smiled widely. He stood on the wall now, a wave of heat pulsing from his magic. There was no doubt that he was a noble with an intense pool of mana. Gamma jumped onto another segment of the wall, at the same time twisting his body and throwing the blazing chunk of molten lava and rock towards the forest. The impact was devastating: trees fell from a large area where it hit, and Tani could swear the earth itself rumbled a little.

“I missed, but I can see them now,” Gamma commented cheerfully, hopping behind the wall again. “My attack’s still sloppy, the captain’s going to kill me if she sees it.”

“I’ll go--” Adrastea began, but the boy shook his head.

“I won’t miss next time,” he said confidently. “But I can’t promise I won’t hit you by accident.”

Tani peeked at the other group that was running back to the cover of the trees. They were protecting the crystal with water magic, clearly planning to counter the powerful fire-based magic that Gamma was using.

“Could you two work together? They are protecting the crystal with water now. If you could combo--”

“Absolutely not,” Adrastea scoffed, glaring at Gamma.

The boy simply jumped back on top of the wall and conjured another ball of magma. Tani could see that he was trying to shape it into something of a spear, but his control wasn’t good enough for it. With almost frustration and anger, Gamma threw the malformed chunk at the other party. It was rather terrifying, especially when Tani knew he didn’t have good control of it. That kind of a magic could easily kill. Another impact shook the ground beneath their feet. It was a small enough shake to make her wonder if she wasn’t just imagining it.

“Crystal destroyed!” a voice bellowed in the air - the announcement of their victory.

Gamma looked back at them proudly, not seemingly even tired after the two throws. He had easily pierced through whatever watery barricade had been erected before the crystal. Tani swept her face with her sleeve, drying the sweat that had formed there. She’d have to recharge before the next battle. She had very little mana left after all that. They returned to the platform together, the wind up there bringing a welcoming breeze to Tani’s face. She was worried. They would be going against Eric’s team next, that was for sure. Gamma and Adrastea were becoming more and more unwilling to work with each other, and their attributes were incompatible. Gamma’s magma could easily burn her flowers or Adrastea’s silk. Tani couldn’t help but feel like she shouldn’t be the one making strategies in this group. She wasn’t good at them.

“Good luck, Ben!” she heard Gamma wish someone.

A blonde, middle-aged man with quite fuzzy sideburns waved at them. He had a calm posture, smiling back at Gamma.

“Be careful who you wish good luck,” the man answered. “We might fight each other next.”

“Bring it on!”

Tani would have loved to sit down somewhere, but everyone else was standing. She withdrew to her shell, not taking part in discussions and barely looking at the fights. Magic clashed against magic, the battlefield changed in front of her eyes, and the first match-up finished. She could feel her mana returning ever so slowly, trickling back. She wouldn’t have enough for the next fight. By now it was clear - they would face Eric’s team. That team also had Ben, Gamma’s squadmate. They’d know two attributes from the team, but that was no advantage. Eric and Ben knew their attributes as well. On the changed battlefield, another battle began. Tani was too dazed to concentrate on it. She only noticed Gamma leave from her side quietly to meet with the just returning young lord Vermillion. Leopold Vermillion was the younger brother of Fuegoleon and Mereleona Vermillion, a talented fire mage in his own right. He had the characteristic orange hair, as well as the red markings around his eyes - similar to the ones his siblings had. Gamma spoke with the young Lord for a brief moment, both serious and swift about it. The time between Tani’s first and next battle felt too short, even if the pause stretched further. With her captain’s battle quickly finished, Tani and her group were thrown back into the battlefield, off to face Ben, Eric and their third team member. Brad was a brown-haired member of the Coral Peacocks. He looked a bit more nervous than the calm Ben and confident Eric. As they separated to their respective places, Tani turned to her team once more.

“Eric uses sand magic,” she told them honestly, giving them a worried glance.

“Ben has very nice copper magic,” Gamma shared in turn. “He has excellent control over it. I can’t wait to fight him!”

Adrastea looked like she was fuming inside.

“I’m not going to stay on the sidelines this time!” she exclaimed suddenly. “I need to show that I am a capable Magic Knight, and I can’t do that if you two do all the work.”

Tani grimaced. That would mean fighting in close-quarters.

“I can protect the crystal, but I’m really--”

“Good!”

“Wait, I’m fine if you want to go for the crystal this time, but--”

No sooner than the announcer had begun the match, Adrastea disappeared in a glimpse of an eye, the light blue silks floating in the air.

“Sorry, that might be my fault,” Gamma apologized, looking at the battlefield.

“Nevermind that,” Tani answered, frustrated. “Let’s find a defensible spot.”

There was a small elevated platform not far from them, which seemed to have some kind of a small mining cavern. They retreated there, with Gamma creating a wall of magma behind which they hid their crystal. It wasn’t the best creation, and likely anyone who would find them would be able to figure out it was behind the molten rock wall - but it was the best they could do for the time being. There were two entrances to the small cavern: one that connected to another platform through a bridge, and another one that led to a small ledge. Each of them guarded one of the entrances, nervously glancing at each other. Minutes went by slowly and painfully. Almost a quarter had passed when Gamma spoke up.

“I could go scout around a bit.”

“I’m--well, sure,” Tani answered hesitantly, looking at the magma wall.

Surely it would stand, even if she herself had very little mana to speak of. She nodded to Gamma still once more, and retreated closer to the wall. The blonde boy moved to the ledge, and disappeared from sight. It didn’t take long for Tani to hear a sound of impact. Gamma had clearly met someone out there.

“「Ginseng Gaze」,” she muttered impatiently, growing the same red ginseng flower and attaching it to her belt.

“Did you sense me, or are you just being careful?” a voice suddenly asked.

Tani looked to the entrance that led to the bridge. Eric was standing there, the light brown hair being tousled by the wind.

“I think you might be hiding the crystal,” he continued. “Which is silly, considering everyone knows you can’t attack.”

“Just come at me already,” Tani answered, glancing to the other entrance.

She couldn’t sense her teammates anywhere closeby. She drew out her sword. Eric moved his hands to create a missile of sand, which she deftly dodged. It hit the magma wall with a dull impact sound. Then, a little crack.

“Not a very strong wall!” the brunette man exclaimed, starting to throw his magic more rapidly.

“「Ginkgo’s Embrace」,” Tani shouted over him, holding her hands in front of her as fists.

Strong branches with fan-like leaves appeared around the man, clutching onto him and pushing him down. Her hands were shaking as she was holding onto the last ripples of her mana. The pool was empty, and she could see the sand gathering around Eric. This spell was one of her newest ones, and she didn’t have proper hold of it yet. On top of that, she didn’t have the energy to uphold it. Every trash that Eric managed weakened the branches. It didn’t take long for him to break free and continue his barrage of sand missiles. Though Tani attempted to block them with her sword, the power of it sent her against the magma wall itself. No matter how much she struggled, she had no mana, and she had no teammates to come rescue her. The shattering noise behind her marked the shattering of her dreams and her resolve.

“Crystal destroyed!”

Eric held his hand to her in an uncharacteristically friendly fashion. Tani took it quietly, letting him help her to her feet.

“Good fight,” he said confidently.

“Yeah,” she answered flatly, trying to answer his smile.

They walked outside together, looking around for their team members. Gamma and Ben appeared quickly, laughing together. They were both a bit scorched. Seemingly they had had a good fight. Tani sighed, and began to approach the viewing platform again. The quick steps of the younger boy reached her quickly, as Gamma sped up to walk with her.

“Adrastea was super close to breaking the other crystal,” he complained cheerfully. “She wasn’t a good match for the other guy, though - I saw him use fire as well.”

“Did you try to go help her?”

Small shame rose to the boy’s cheeks.

“No, I was having too much fun fighting with Ben,” he confessed.

“Can’t you fight him outside of competitions?” Tani asked rather sharply.

“Not recently. He is heaps ahead of me. When the captain takes us to the hot springs, he is there in an instant!”

“What does that mean? What hot springs?”

“In the strong mana region, there’s this mountain trail,” Gamma explained eagerly. “It's a really hot area - the air burns your lungs and you sweat like a pig just by standing there. The top part spews continuously lava, but during night it turns into a sweet hot spring! Captain Mereleona takes us there to practise controlling our mana skin.”

“I see,” Tani answered thoughtfully, avoiding looking at the boy for a little while.

It could be a chance to meet the Captain, couldn’t it?

“You have trouble holding up your mana skin?” she inquired carefully.

“Yep!” Gamma nodded. “Because my control is so poor, it takes me forever to climb up the mountain, and it’s a hellish journey. If I had one of your flowers, I’m sure it’d be easier.”

“If your captain takes outsiders, I wouldn’t mind that type of training myself.”

Gamma, hearing this, clapped his hands together excitedly.

“That’s a great idea! You can train me, and I can train you!” he said happily. “Even if we wouldn’t get chosen this time, there’s always the next one!”

They had reached the top of the platform once again, and Gamma sprinted towards other members of the Crimson Lion Kings. She could see the young Vermillion lord there with someone else: a woman around her own age, with beautiful sun-kissed hair and forest green eyes. The woman had a warm smile on her lips as she spoke with Leopold Vermillion. Tani was certain she had not seen that person before, but that was true for many people of the Kingdom. She simply stood by as Gamma went to talk to them. Once more, it didn’t take long for the blonde boy to come back.

“Leo seems to think it would be fine,” he said in an overly casual manner. “I’ll still need to suggest it to Captain Mereoleona.”

“Thank you, Gamma,” Tani said quietly, glancing at the other group again. “Who is that person with him?”

“Oh, her? She’s Solara,” Gamma told her happily. “A good friend of the captain.”

Tani nodded, stealing another glance at the strawberry blonde woman. She seemed like a gentle person. If Tani was any braver and not already tired from the day of fighting, she’d go introduce herself. Today, however, she had no energy. She could barely follow the rest of the battles. When Adrastea came to them and apologized for her behaviour, Tani had no mental energy to even try to advise her for the future. She watched Adrastea and Gamma make amends, though there was still tension between them. At least the knight of the Blue Rose seemed to realize that her leaving them alone had caused some trouble. As soon as the battle ended, Tani promised to be in touch with the other two, and walked home. Not just the dorms of the Azure Deer, but home.

The simple house was on the outskirts of Kikka, with a small garden on its side. No one was home when Tani stepped in - both of her parents and sister worked in the mines near Kikka, and they worked long days. She herself had worked in those mines before she had passed the entrance exam and became a Knight. She walked the small corridor to the spacious living room, and fell to the sofa. She was tired and she was sad. The only hope she held on now was that someone had noticed her efforts, or that at least she’d get to know the mysterious Mereoleona Vermillion as a consequence. She felt a bang of guilt - was she simply using Gamma to get to know his captain? No, she’d make sure that she would help the young boy too. Tani lifted her arm over her eyes and welcomed the darkness it brought to her. Sleep did not come instantly, but slowly.

Now all that was left to do was wait for the results.

[flowerfan2]

Affinity - Chapter 14 (10.14)

McDanno, A03, 25k so far.  Start from the beginning here.

A continuous story of season 10 episode codas.  Steve may describe their relationship as a dysfunctional marriage, but at some point, will he and Danny take a closer look at what it really could be?   (The answer is yes).

Chapter 14 (10.14)

Adam and Quinn have headed out to their cars, but Tani hangs back, apparently not quite ready to call it a day.

“Hey, Steve?  Can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure.”  Steve sits back down on the couch next to Eddie, who quickly puts his head in Steve’s lap.  Poor guy, he doesn’t deserve this.  At least now they’ve figured out what triggered Eddie’s PTS.  Hard to believe it was the purple flowers planted next door by a well-meaning botanist that set him off.

“You said Danny’s doing all right?” Tani says.  

“Sure, yeah. He’s just taking a few days off. He’s fine.”

“Are you?”

Steve pauses, fingers in Eddie’s fur, and turns to give Tani his full attention. “What do you mean?”

 Tani bites her lip.  “It’s just -  well, I’m sorry if I shouldn’t say it, but it seemed like you guys had a good thing going.”

 Steve’s heart races.  He and Danny had never really told anyone on the team that they were together, so he’s not quite sure how Tani knows they’re not anymore.  

 Tani seems to take his silence as an invitation and sits down on the other end of the couch.  “Do you want to talk about it?” she asks gently.

 Steve presses his eyes shut for a long moment.  He had thought he was okay with it all, right up until Danny told him that he was at a bar with a woman – at ten o’clock in the morning – and Steve had gathered up all his false bravado to wish him well.  Hearing that tone in Danny’s voice, that flirtatious happiness, had felt like a punch in the gut.

 “It’s complicated,” he finally says.

 Tani shrugs.  “I’ve got time.”

 Steve thinks back to his conversation with Danny a few weeks ago, when he told Danny he thought they were better off as friends.  Good friends, of course, the best, but nothing more.  He told Danny that he’d always love him, but that he didn’t want to continue the less platonic aspects of their relationship.  He remembers the hurt disbelief in Danny’s eyes, and the way Danny had argued with him, yelling and waving his arms until he realized that Steve wasn’t going to change his mind.

 It’s hard having to explain it to Tani, but Steve knows she cares about them both.  He’s not sure that talking to her about what happened will make it any better, but he trusts her, and it probably can’t get any worse.

 “I’m not very good at balancing work and my personal life,” Steve begins, and then huffs out a bitter laugh.

 “What?”

 “Would you believe that’s the second time I’ve said that today?”  Steve doesn’t really think of Eddie’s vet as someone he let slip away, but with Danny, it’s becoming painfully apparent.

 “Guess it’s on your mind.”

 Steve strokes Eddie’s ears, trying to figure out what to say.  “Yeah, I guess so.”  Steve sighs. “Danny and I… we had hardly gotten started, you know?  I mean we’ve been friends forever, but this was new and… I kinda got cold feet.  Like I always do.”

 “You sound like you have regrets.”

 Steve snorts.  “You could say so.  But it’s no one’s fault but my own.  And now’s he met someone else, so…”

 “He has?”

 “Yeah, just this morning.  I don’t know how serious it is, could be nothing, right?  But he sounded happy.”

 Steve glances up at Tani, who’s looking back at him like she’s trying to figure out a puzzle.  “You think it’s too late?  If you told him how you feel?  I mean, there is a certain attractiveness to honesty, falling on your sword and admitting you were wrong.  A sincere apology and confession of love could work wonders.”

 Tani makes it sound so easy.  “I don’t even know how I feel,” Steve deflects. “It doesn’t matter anyway.  Danny’s been through enough with people jerking him around.  This thing with Rachel – he really gave it a try.  And that didn’t work out.  If Danny’s found someone who’s good for him, I’ve got no right to interfere.”  

 “Don’t kid yourself, Steve.  You were good for him.”

 “Clearly not, or he wouldn’t have had to take a bunch of personal days just to get away from me.”

 “Okay, enough with the pity party,” Tani says, a teasing note in her voice.  “You’d do anything for Danny, and he knows it.  You’d risk your life for him a hundred times over.”

 Steve has a sudden flash back to the conversation, <i>that</i> conversation, and Danny’s stricken expression. Yeah, he’d risk his life for Danny. But not, apparently, his heart.

 Tani’s phone beeps, and a second later, so does Steve’s.  She reads the text first, as Steve digs his phone out of his pants pocket, and Steve hears her sharp intake of breath before he gets his phone in his hand.

 “What is it?”

 “Danny’s been in a car accident. It’s bad.”

 Ice runs down Steve’s spine, and he leaps off the couch.  Eddie gives a whine and Steve twists back to look at him.  “Tani, can you-”

 “Of course, I’ll stay with Eddie. Go.”

 Steve is halfway to the north shore before he gets any useful information about the accident.  There’s still not much, though – Danny’s rental was forced off the road, his passenger badly injured.  Danny had been driving, but no one seems willing to tell him anything much about his status now.  Steve keeps telling himself that Danny called it in, so he must be okay.  He has to be okay.

 When Steve sees Danny walking towards him in the middle of Waianae Valley Road, he skids to a stop.  His brain can’t process the sight fast enough – Danny’s upright, clearly not dead, but he’s limping and covered in blood and <i>what the hell is he doing out here by himself?</i>  

 Steve jumps out of the truck, not even bothering to turn it off, and runs towards him.  He grabs Danny up in his arms, and Danny goes stiff, like a blood-covered tin man.  

 “I’ve got you, Danny, I’ve got you,” Steve pants out, leading him to the side of the road and sitting him down on the ground.

 “Can you tell me what happened? Danny?  Why aren’t you with the paramedics?”  Danny’s not meeting his eyes, and he doesn’t seem to be tracking. Steve touches him all over, checking for injuries – there’s so much blood, smeared on his face and his shirt and his arms but miraculously, none of it seems to be Danny’s.

 When he gets to Danny’s ribs Danny jerks hard.  “Okay, okay, sorry, hey, it’s okay,” Steve says, trying to calm him.  “Anywhere else?  Danny?”  Steve puts a hand to Danny’s cheek and tries to catch his gaze.  “Danny, you with me?  Looks like you busted a rib or two.  Are you hurt anywhere else?”

 Danny blinks and shakes his head. “Not me.  Her.”

 “I’m sure she’s being taken care of. I’m talking about you right now. Tell me where you’re hurt.”

 Steve hears footsteps behind him and glances back over his shoulder.  There’s a cop approaching, with a paramedic on his heels.

 Danny sees them too, and shifts, awkwardly trying to stand up.

 “Hey, Danny, relax.  Stay here with me.  Let the paramedic check you out.”

 Danny doesn’t answer, but he stops trying to move away.  He sits obediently while the paramedic looks him over and takes his vitals.  He answers the cop’s questions in a dull monotone. Steve grits his teeth as he hears the story and realizes that the woman in the car was the one Danny had met in the bar, and that the accident – with Danny driving – has very likely killed her.

 Danny tells the cop what he knows about the car that forced them off the road.  “She saw the plate.  She wanted the police to catch him so he wouldn’t hurt anyone else.”  He laughs bitterly.  “I told her she was going to be okay.”

 Danny flatly refuses to be taken to the hospital.  He doesn’t even want to get into the truck, but his resolve wears down when Steve informs him that if Danny insists on walking, Steve will simply drive behind him until Danny collapses from shock and exhaustion and then Danny will wind up in the truck whether he wants to or not.

 When they pull up in front of Steve’s house, he sees Danny’s eyes flicker over to Tani’s car.  “I’ll tell her to take off,” Steve says.  “You’ll be all right here for a minute?”

 Danny looks at him like he’s an idiot, but then Steve decides he’s not up to letting Danny out of his sight anyway and shoots Tani a text.  It’s a little cryptic, but given their conversation earlier he figures he can get away with it.  Danny stares out the front window until Tani gets into her car and drives away, then hauls himself out of the truck and follows Steve into the house.

 “I’m gonna shower,” Danny says, heading straight up the stairs.  Steve spends a minute with his head buried in Eddie’s soft fur, and then sits himself in the hallway outside of the bathroom.  When a reasonable amount of time has gone by – and it’s really unfair that he’s got such a clear idea in his head of how long a reasonable shower is for Danny – he knocks on the door.

 “You okay in there?”

 Steve holds off for another thirty seconds, and then calls out again.  “Danny?”  When no answer comes, he opens the door and sticks his head in.  

 The room is filled with steam from the hot water, but Danny isn’t in the shower.  He’s curled up on the floor, still in his bloody clothes.  His face is hidden against his knees.  He barely looks up when Steve comes in.  

 Steve slides down next to Danny and takes him in his arms.  After a moment, Danny grips him back with surprising intensity, hands clutching at Steve’s shirt, forehead pressing hard into his neck.  Steve’s heart feels like it’s breaking all over again.  “It’s okay, Danno.  It’s gonna be okay.”  It’s meaningless, and may really not be true, but it’s all he has.

 Danny’s shoulders are trembling, and he’s shivering despite the heat of the room.  Steve holds him tighter, stroking his head and shushing him.  He presses a kiss to Danny’s blood-stained cheek, and Danny shakes his head against Steve’s chest.  “No,” he hears Danny hiss out at him.  “You left me.”

 Danny moves away enough for Steve to see his face, crumpled in pain, but Steve can’t let him go.  He rearranges his grip and pulls Danny into his lap, sharp knees and elbows knocking into him as he gathers him close.  “I’m sorry, babe.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t leave you.  I’d never leave you.”

 Cursing himself for ever making Danny doubt him, Steve rubs Danny’s back and kisses his dirty hair.  Wrenching sounds come from Danny’s throat, mangled apologies and choked off sobs, but the tears that fall first are Steve’s own.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Thirty-One: On A Hill ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: A Light Amongst Shadows ] [ AO3 Link ]

It still shakes him to see this place.

Most of the destruction was lost on him in those final few minutes. He’d been a little preoccupied to take in the scenery, what with his using the last of his chakra on Kirin, not wanting to take his eyes off Itachi for a moment. Exhausted, terrified, and desperate, he’d hardly noticed the rubble until he his back had been pressed against it.

No escape.

...Sasuke��s not even sure why he’s come back. The stones are still scorched from Amaterasu’s obsidian flames, a brush of his fingers smudging soot. Almost nothing remains of the old Uchiha hideout. A piece of history lost to violence. But those are long-bygone days, now. He’s almost glad a testament to what was before is gone. While he grieves his clan, and their oppression...so too does Sasuke know they weren’t always blameless. They were ruthless during the Sengoku Jidai. They had to be, under Madara’s banner.

And even now, the scraps of them left have to be tough. But not in ways that require grand fortresses atop mountains.

Ironically enough, it’s raining. Lightly, just barely a misting...but he can’t help but find it...fitting. He doesn’t even bother with the hood of his traveling cloak as they breach the top of the hill.

“It’s still unbelievable...what you two did here.”

A dark eye glances to his right, where his companion stands. Her own kekkei genkai is active, looking over the ruins quietly. “This place must have been huge...and to end up like this…”

“...Itachi and I are both peerless shinobi. Even then, we were both forces to be reckoned with.” Of course, the purple, rippled iris he keeps hidden beneath his hitai ate now means he’s grown even more powerful since then. Destruction of this scale is hardly unheard of for him now. Just look what he and Naruto wrought a few months later upon Shūmatsu no Tani. Granted...both that battle and the one here were fought with the highest of stakes. But that doesn’t mean he’s not still as capable.

Hinata lets her eyes rest. “...does he know you were coming back here today?”

“No. No point.”

“Why...are we here…?”

In truth, he’s not sure. He just felt compelled to revisit it. “...closure, maybe. Guilt. I don’t know. Just felt right to come back.”

She doesn't offer a reply - there’s no need. Sometimes a person doesn’t need a reason. Just a feeling. Wordlessly, she makes her way forward, Sasuke following.

“...you said still. Still unbelievable. Have you seen this before, Hinata?”

“I have. Did I never tell you?” There’s a curious glance to her new husband. “I was part of the retrieval team that went looking for you just as you and Itachi-san began your fight. My team went along as trackers.I went with Naruto-kun and Yamato-san, and one of Kakashi-sensei’s ninken. Later we all met up here, but...you and Itachi’s body were already gone. Obito had taken you…” Her gaze turns somber, turning back ahead. “...Naruto-kun was so upset...he’d thought you killing Orochimaru would mean coming home. And when that failed te be true, then surely, after Itachi was dead...but then Akatsuki got ahold of you.”

“...and I learned the truth about my clan’s massacre.”

“From a rather jilted source.”

Sasuke doesn’t stop a humorless snort. “...you’re right...but it didn’t make it any less true. Just...weaponized. Manipulating. I still would have reacted the same had anyone else told me. I just happened to ally with the wrong person because of it.”

It’s then they end up at the threshold of what was once the floor. Nearly all of the walls have been blown apart. One can only tell due to the smoothing of the stone compared to the outside. “What...was this place, exactly?”

“All I know is that it was once a clan hideout. Pretty sure from before the formation of the hidden villages. It was huge...even had a throne.” Another snort. “I’d bet my life savings Madara was the only one to ever use it...clan head or not, he had the ego for it.”

Hinata’s lips give a small twitch.

“...well I’ll be damned.”

Speaking of, said throne sits - majorly chipped - at the rear of the ruins. A large portion of the back is missing, only part of the mural behind it still standing. “...guess it wasn’t directly impacted. Makes sense...it was inside.” Sasuke nods to it. “...that’s where Itachi was sitting when I walked in.”

“...he really did go all out…”

Flashes of his brother’s behavior flicker through Sasuke’s mind. “...he kept up the charade until the very end. I thought he’d just lost it right before he died, saying what he said...doing what he did. I wasn’t...exactly in the best frame of mind at that point, either.”

Hinata can’t help a sympathetic glance. “...no, I’d imagine not…”

It’s then Sasuke decides to just...elaborate about what happened that day. He points to where each stage of the battle took place, vaguely narrating from what he can recall. It’s been over five years, now...and yet being here makes it feel just like yesterday. And all the while, Hinata listens quietly, delving into a piece of her beloved’s past he’s avoided up until now. The recollection, she knows, can’t be easy. Itachi’s truth had to have made it hard enough...but having his brother returned to him must make living with those choices - not to mention all those years - more than difficult.

“...here.”

They come to a stop, having moved through the rubble as he spoke. Before them, a huge hunk of stone with an inlaid Uchiha crest lies, turned to one side. “...he pinned me here. I remember my back hitting the wall, looking up, seeing the crest...it really hit me that I was going to die. And then he just…”

Waiting for a moment, Hinata looks over as Sasuke’s silence stretches. “...he spared you.”

“...it was all a farce. To convince me I’d outlasted him. Killed him. All while letting himself finally succumb to illness...he freed me from my curse seal. Set everything up so that I could walk away with a clear conscience. My revenge. My body. And then Obito subverted all his work.”

“...would you have gone back to Konoha then? If Obito hadn’t found you?”

“...I don't know. It had been my plan to go back eventually. But I don’t know if I would have felt satisfied at that point. I might have needed time first. But...it doesn’t really matter. I’ll never know. And as...convoluted as my path ended up...I think it was for the best. It led to my brother’s revival. I don’t know if he could have been if things hadn’t gone the way they did. My life isn’t perfect...and there’s no taking away what I suffered. But...I’m on a better path. I have a better future ahead of me now. I have a few pieces of my family back, and a few new ones…” Sasuke turns to her, lips lifting in just a hint of a smile. “...including you.”

Hinata softens. “...you’re right. No more what-ifs. Just what-will-bes. And we’ll face them all together.”

“...I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

As though hearing their words, a few dapples of sunlight manage to filter through the clouds.

“...should we head back?”

“We should. I’m sure everyone’s wondering where we went.”

“...will we tell them?”

“We might as well. I think I’m done letting this hang over me. Over us. Time to move forward.”

“I agree.” Taking Sasuke’s hand, Hinata gently tugs him back toward the main staircase, giving the view from on the hill one last glance before they make their way down.

Behind them, the sunrays glitter over the Uchiha crest before growing, bathing the ruins in a new light.

     AHHH!!! A whole month down, omggg! I'm so psyched guys - this month has just...FLOWN by! Technically I'm posting this after midnight, so a little late (like...most entries are), BUT! I didn't miss a SINGLE DAY! Let's see if I can keep it up for the rest of the year, ahaha!      ANYWAY, this prompt threw me a little bit. I almost went with something FAR angstier, but...I figured this was somber enough. Poor Sasuke...coming back here isn't easy. But I think he feels a lot better for having done so. Especially since he didn't have to go alone.      But yes, on that note, I really need to call it a night here pretty soon - but as always, thank you SO much for reading! One month down...eleven to go!

[herkingmentality-shesunbreakable]

MY INTRODUCTION TO HUMANITY My pedophile father, Earl O'Brien, brags that he began substituting his penis for my mother's nipple soon after I was born. My multigenerational incest-abused mother, Carol Tanis, did not protest his perverse actions due to (reportedly) having similar abuse as a child which caused her to acquire Multiple Personality Disorder. 1 My earliest recovered memory was that I could not breathe with my father's penis jammed into my little throat. Yet I could not discern his semen from my mother's milk. I do not recall thinking, but I am aware through education that this early sexual abuse distorted my primitive concepts of feeding, breathing, sexuality, and parental perceptions. I recall as a toddler being unable to run (I could barely walk) to my mother for help as my instincts demanded. Through my gulping sobs, my terror rose as I tried to clear my throat of my father's semen and draw a breath of air. My mother finally arrived at my side. Rather than comfort me, she accused me of throwing a temper tantrum and "holding my breath". She responded only by throwing a glass of cold water in my face. 1 was shocked! As the water splashed my face, I knew she would not help and it was up to me to save myself. I automatically Multiple Personality Disordered. I was, of course, too young to logically understand that what my father was doing to me was wrong. I accepted his strangling sexual abuse as a normal and natural part of my home life, and split off a personality to deal with the pain and suffocation to satisfy his perversions. Therefore as a child, I was dissociative of my father's abuse. I was totally unable to recall his sexual abuse, even in his presence, until 1 saw and felt his penis. Then the terror, which was my conditioned response, triggered access to that part of my brain that previously endured the trauma, I was remembering the abuse and how to deal with it. This part of my brain developed into a personality of its own-which belonged to my father-winch he rented out and later sold to the U.S. Government as will be explained and detailed in the following pages. Other parts of my conditioned mind dealt with other abusers, abuses and circumstances. My father was (as revealed by my own investigations) apparently a multigenerational incest child from a large, poor, and horribly dysfunctional family. His mother earned a living as a prostitute for local lumbermen after his father died when he was two years old. My father's brothers and sister were all sexually and (occult) ritually abused just as he was. They grew up to be drug addicts, prostitutes, street derelicts, and pedophiles who also sexually abused me and my brothers and sisters. I developed more personality splits to deal with the traumas of these torturous relationships. My mother's dysfunctional family also appears to be multigenerational, but of a slightly higher socio-economic class. Her father owned the building occupied by a Masonic Blue Lodge he led, and managed a local beer distribution business with her mother after completing his military career. Together they sexually abused my mother and her three brothers, who in turn sexually abused me. My family often went camping on the vast wilderness acreage surrounding my grandfather's Masonic Lodge in Newaygo, Michigan. Large bluffs referred to as "The High Banks' overlooked the White River flowing through his property, which is where we pitched our tents. My mother's brothers, Uncle Ted and Uncle Arthur "Bomber" Tanis, often accompanied us and sexually abused my brother and me. It was deer hunting season in or around November, 1961, when my father took the family camping on The High Banks to hunt with my uncles. That night, as my brother and I were being sexually passed around the campfire to satisfy pedophile perversions, a lost hunter stumbled into our camp. My father shot him when he attempted to run; the rifle's blasts piercing my brain and further fragmenting my mind. I sat dazed in a dissociative trance while my mother methodically picked up the campsite and my father and uncles disposed of the body. As my father drove us away from the crime scene, we were stopped by several hunters who had the road blocked in a desperate attempt to locate their missing companion. They described the man I saw my father kill, and said they heard gunshots. Reality intruded on my dissociative trance, and I screamed and cried hysterically until I no longer knew why I was crying. My Uncle Ted soon became a street derelict. Uncle Bomber died a few years later from alcoholism in his early forties. And my father became more financially and politically connected. My mother's oldest brother, Uncle Bob, was a pilot in Air Force In- telligence and often boasted that he worked for the Vatican. Uncle Bob was also a commercial pornographer, producing kiddie porn for the local Michigan Mafia, which looped back to Mafia porn king and U.S. Representative Jerry Ford. I split off more personalities just to deal with my Uncle Bob, his "friends," and the perverse business he shared with my father. My father's sixth grade education had earned him a job as a worm digger for local sport fishermen. By the time I was six years old, however, his pornographic exploitation of my older brother, Bill, and me had provided enough income to move us into a bigger house nestled in the Michigan sand dunes. My father was right at home there. The tourists and drug dealers who littered the eastern shore of Lake Michigan further supplemented his income by paying for perverse sex with us children. My father also became involved in illicit drug sales. Soon after we moved, my father was reportedly caught sending kiddie porn through the U.S. mail. It was a bestiality film of me with my Uncle Sam O'Brien's Boxer dog, Buster. My Uncle Bob, also implicated in manufacturing the porn, out of apparent desperation informed my father of a U.S. Government Defense Intelligence Agency TOP SECRET Project to which he was privy. This was Project Monarch. Project Monarch was a mind-control operation which was "recruiting" multigenerational incest abused children with Multiple Personality Disorder for its genetic mind-control studies. I was a prime "candidate," a "chosen one". My father seized the opportunity as it would provide him immunity from prosecution. In the midst of the pandemonium that ensued, Jerry Ford arrived at our house with the evidence in hand for a meeting with my father. "Is Earl home?" he called to my mother, who nervously stood behind the screen door, hesitating to let him in. "Not yet," my mother replied, her voice shaking. "He should have been home from work by now-I know he's expecting you." "That's OK". Ford turned his attention to me. I was standing outside on the front porch, and he crouched down to my level. Patting the large, brown envelope containing the confiscated porn tucked under his arm he said, "You like doggies, huh?" "Buster is a nice doggy," I replied. "He's funny." Not understanding why the dog had been whisked away when the porn was confiscated, I complained, "Busters gone." "Buster's gone?" Ford asked. "Yeah. My Uncle Sam took him away," I told him. Ford laughed loudly at the irony of my statement. In my limited view, I thought he found it humorous that Buster was gone. My father pulled into the driveway, honking the horn of his new, tan convertible. Ford stood up. With his fly eye level to me, I noticed his penis was erect and reached for it as conditioned. "Not now, honey," he said. "I have business to tend..." Ford went inside with my parents to officially seal my fate. Not long after that my father was flown to Boston for a two-week course at Harvard on how to raise me for this off-shoot of MK-Ultra Project Monarch, When he returned from Boston, my father was smiling and pleased with his new knowledge of what he termed "reverse psychology". This equates to "satanic reversals," and involves such play-on- words as puns and phrases that stuck in my mind like, "You earn your keep, and I'll keep what you earn." He presented me with a commemorative charm bracelet of dogs, and my mother with the news that they "would be having more children" to raise in the project. (I now have two sisters and four brothers ranging from age 16 to 37 who are still under mind control.) My mother complied with my father's suggestions, mastering the art of language manipulation. For example, when I could not snap my own pajama top to the bottoms in a childish effort to keep my father out of them, I asked my mother, "please snap me". She did. she would snap her forefingers against my skin in a stinging manner. The pain I felt was psychological as this proved to me once again that she had no intention of protecting me from my father's sexual abuse. Also in keeping with his government-provided instructions, my father began working me like the legendary Cinderella. I shoveled fireplace ashes, hauled stacked firewood, raked leaves, shoveled snow, chopped ice, and swept — "because," my father said, "your little hands fit so nicely around the rake, mop, shovel, and broom handles." By this time, my father's sexual exploitation of me included prostitution to his friends, local mobsters and Masons, relatives, Satanists, strangers, and police officers. When I wasn't being worked to physical exhaustion, filmed pornographically, prostituted, or engaged in incest abuse, 1 dissociated into books. I had learned to read at the young age of four due to my photographic memory which was a natural result of MPD/DID. Government researchers involved in MK-Ultra Project Monarch knew about the photographic memory aspect of MPD/DID, of course, as well as other resultant "super human" characteristics. Visual acuity of an MPD/DID is 44 times greater than that of the average person. My developed unusually high pain threshold, plus compartmentalization of memory were "necessary" for military and covert operations applications. Additionally, my sexuality was primitively twisted from infancy. This programming was appealing and useful to perverse politicians who believed they could hide their actions deep within my memory compartments, which clinicians refer to as personalities.