#RealHelpforOurFixer2kinfinity

[trumpetnista]

My Final Thoughts on 7x08 (taken from Shattering’s latest A/N...)

Quinn Perkins' fate may just be sealed after all but at least Shonda didn't kill her baby. Of course, after 509, last season or not, killing yet another baby wasn't gonna happen but Quinn herself? She may very well be gone and even if she's not, I'm pretty tempted to sue ABC for emotional distress. Everyone (even Joke Bastard's crash test dummy looking and acting ass) was affected by the apparent loss of Quinn and that 21 gun salute funeral scene made me cry. It's like when Harrison died but a million times worse because that was on Rowan. What's happened is on Liv.

No amount of private guilt will count until she fesses up to her Evil and starts making up for it. What little humanity she did show was potent and heartwrenching but it's not enough. Neither was her going to Fitz for comfort like we knew she would, even though she was an absolute bitch to him for no good reason beforehand. She always lashes out at him, especially when she knows that she's done wrong and Fitz just...it's honestly sad at this point. There's a difference between unconditional love and taking emotional abuse and it seems that Fitz has reached that conclusion because even though he did take her in with loving arms (god, the scene was so sweet but so sad), he's on the verge of giving up on her for good and I ain't mad at it.

I said it on Thursday and I'm saying it here: unless Liv starts getting some professional help or even semi-professional help, Fitz needs to bounce and never, ever look back. Enough is enough. He may love her and she may love him but unless they're both human and acting like adults, Olitz just isn't gonna work. Fitz has put the work in to be a better man solo and within Olitz. He's always put the work in and I'm tired of Liv doing the bare minimum in response or worse, making one big positive gesture and then backtracking on it the second things get complicated. It's fucking bullshit.

Olivia Pope needs to own her Rowana sins. She needs to tell the whole truth to her remaining friends and family and face the consequences. Afterwards, she needs to put the work in to fix herself or she shouldn't get to be happy with Fitz or by herself, that matter. It's been 7 years of the same bullshit from her and I'm tired. It's probably an unpopular opinion but I don't give a fuck. I've stood by my convictions before and I'm gonna keep doing it.

However, there was good in the 7B premiere. Huck carried the episode (and figured out the ugly truth in like 30 seconds), the rest of them are about to find out because Quinn had the Intel hidden on a flash drive just in case, Cyrus faced more consequences for his Evil, Mellie was only around for like a minute, Joke Bastard has been reduced to Lady Rowana of the Sith's personal chauffer, Olitz made love like they did in 1x06 (sans the broken lamp and solid mental health, unfortunately) Quinn's baby girl is alive and beautiful (her name is Robin, BTW if you wanna cry a little inside) and the episode ended with Rowan getting the shit choked out of him by a very angry Charlie. It's likely the bastard isn't gonna die but it was gratifying to see. I haven't been that happy to see someone get fucked up since Joke got shanked in 4B. I am cautiously optimistic about 7B and the Series Finale in April but there are 10 eps left and anything can happen, good or bad.

[trumpetnista]

CMW2/Trumpetnista: Safe (8/?)

Summary from FFN: NOW A WIP: She was Olivia Pope, not Alex Jones, not Julia Baker, and she was a mess;In this AU of 4x16, instead of Alex seducing Russell to feel alive again, Olivia decides on a better course of action, a course of action that starts with a phone call to Fitz;HEAVY SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 WITHIN;Rated for language, imagery, and later Olitz lovemaking;4th in my 2016 SSS Project

Teaser from Chapter 8: It needed to go.

The couch needed to go.

It was a constant reminder of what had happened to her, now. It was poison.’

Yes, she and Fitz had their good moments on it. After hearing their first time on tape, he had held her for One Minute, comforting her and saying goodbye. When he came to her to run out the clock, the couch had been where he sat, looking at her with all the love in the world, all the trust in the world. She had fallen into his arms on the couch, letting herself be loved and letting go...

...but now? The couch had to go. The couch and the whole apartment, for that matter! Why was she still living there? Even before her abduction, there were so many bad times in the place, more than good. It had been a point of pride to stay put. Olivia had seen it as a sign of strength to stay but had it really been? It was something to think about. It was something to talk about, both with her therapist and her family. She had money. She had contacts. Finding a new place in or close to DC would be simple, even with the inherent hassle of moving.

She would have one less piece of furniture to deal with in the process...

Disclaimer for the full story: “Honestly, it’s not mine!”

@douxbebearchives

3 Days Later...

"I'll take care of him. Consider it Handled."

"Huck."

"He shouldn't have broken into your place. You're trying so hard to get better. You are getting better every day. You're learning how to be happy again and he wants to ruin it. He wants to drag you back down into the Dark because that's the only way that you let him be with you. Even if B613 and Rowan aren't a part of his life anymore, he won't ever leave you alone so someone needs to make him go away for good. I can do it. I'll be okay after, I promise."

"You're getting better, too and I don't want Jake to ruin your progress. He's not worth it."

"But you are. Besides, if I don't take him down, Quinn will after I tell her what happened. Charlie will help her get rid of him because he wants her to be happy and he really likes you. Marcus will run interference if anyone asks where he is and Abby still has her gun so..."

"Huck, don't do it. Please?"

"Ballard hurt you before. He put his hands on you and made you feel scared. He made you feel dirty and wrong. We all let him hurt you before and it wasn't right. It wasn't fair to you. We're supposed to be Gladiators. We're supposed to be a family. Family protects family. Always."

"I didn't protect my family when it counted most. I ran away."

"We forgave you and if Harrison was still here, he would've, too. He loved you. We love you."

"...I know."

"Do you?"

"Yeah. Try not to do it. You all can go talk to him but just...try. For me?"

"...okay."

Olivia sighed softly and tossed her phone into the duffel bag next to her. The breeze was refreshing against her skin and she closed her eyes, already feeling tears sliding down her face. After what happened with Jake, she had booked an emergency session with her therapist. Linda Marbury had seen her first thing and she had taken the rest of the day off afterwards. During that off day, she had given her apartment a deep clean, both to calm down and to check for surveillance equipment. Jake said that he had left nothing behind but she would be a fool to take him at his word. She had found nothing but it didn't mean that she wasn't being watched.

Local news had brought up the fact that she was in counseling but she had been prepared. There was no shame in admitting that one needed help. With how stressful life could be, especially in Washington, getting help and support was crucial. Mental health was just as important as physical health, if not more important. After all, if one's mind wasn't right, then the rest of the body wouldn't be either.

The statement, along with substantial donations to local outreach programs, had quickly turned the narrative around in her favor. Olivia was a Fixer. She was the best in the business for a reason and it was nice to remember that she deserved help, too.

Opening her eyes, she looked at the couch. It was waiting near the quarry's small lake, looking both huge and small. She had been meaning to get rid of it since her abduction but she hadn't the time or the strength. But now that she was healing, truly healing, getting rid of it was just as important as taking her medicine on time and removing the toxic people from her life.

She had blocked Mellie's numbers. She had also put a strict policy in place for keeping her or her representatives out of OPA. True to Fitz's warning, a series of voicemails had been left by the embittered woman, dripping with alcohol laced venom. She had Huck save each one of them, added them to the black Kill Folder, and moved on with her life. Mellie losing her Election wasn't Olivia's fault. It wasn't Fitz's fault. It wasn't Cyrus' fault or the American People's. The loss was no one's fault but Mellie's. She didn't want to wait and build her brand. She didn't want to put the work in that her opponent had. She had felt entitled to Power and rightfully got a wake-up call.

Olivia had taken to letting Cyrus go to voicemail, too. Unless it was about Ella's wellbeing, she wouldn't take his calls. He was looking for her to get back into Kingmaking. He was looking for her to be The White House's personal Fixer again and Olivia wasn't interested. She wasn't interested in being called 'The Help' ever again. If Fitz needed her, then he could and would call her himself so Cyrus couldn't use that avenue to get her anymore. She wouldn't let him.

Just because he wasn't actively interfering with her life anymore didn't mean that he was trusted. Trusting Cyrus Beene would be just as foolish as trusting Jake. She was a lot of things but foolish? Not anymore. If she was really going to heal, she had to be firm. She had to be brave. Having support from her friends and Fitz was excellent but at the end of the day, it was up to her.

Reaching down to the large speaker, she turned the volume all the way up. Fighting back bile, Olivia lowered the needle to the record player and waited.

After a couple scratches, the music began.

Yeah, everybody's got a thing But some don't know how to handle it Always reaching out in vain Just taking the things not worth having but

Don't you worry 'bout a thing Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama 'Cause I'll be standing on the side When you check it out, oh

They say your style of life's a drag And that you must go other places Just don't you feel too bad When you get fooled by smiling faces

Don't you worry bout a thing...

It needed to go.

The couch needed to go.

It was a constant reminder of what had happened to her, now. It was poison.

Yes, she and Fitz had their good moments on it. After hearing their first time on tape, he had held her for One Minute, comforting her and saying goodbye. When he came to her to run out the clock, the couch had been where he sat, looking at her with all the love in the world, all the trust in the world. She had fallen into his arms on the couch, letting herself be loved and letting go...

...but now? The couch had to go. The couch and the whole apartment, for that matter! Why was she still living there? Even before her abduction, there were so many bad times in the place, more than good. It had been a point of pride to stay put. Olivia had seen it as a sign of strength to stay but had it really been? It was something to think about. It was something to talk about, both with her therapist and her family. She had money. She had contacts. Finding a new place in or close to DC would be simple, even with the inherent hassle of moving.

She would have one less piece of furniture to deal with in the process.

Come on, everybody needs a change A chance to check out the new But you're the only one to sees The changes you take yourself through Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Don't you worry 'bout a thing, thing Don't you worry 'bout a thing, thing Don't you worry 'bout a thing, thing Don't you worry 'bout a thing, thing...

After renting the truck and putting the couch inside, Olivia had driven to a small hardware store about 90 minutes away from DC. She had looked it up online, not wanting to deal with a large crowd. Not to mention that the sight of The Olivia Pope in a Home Depot or Lowe's would be instant Beltway gossip fuel. She didn't need that. She didn't deserve that. Over the years, she had become so protective of everyone else's privacy, everyone else's Reputation, that she had neglected herself. She had seen herself as a burden, as a Scandal, and it had led to some of the worst decisions she had ever made. That needed to change. Olivia needed to take control.

It was her life to live. It was her life to Fix so she could enjoy it again.

Don't you worry 'bout a thing Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama 'Cause I'll be standing on the side When you check it out When you get it off your trip Don't you worry 'bout a thing Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama...

The muscles in her body burned. Tears were falling and her body was shaking but with each blow of the sledgehammer, Olivia could feel more of the heaviness lift. The couch was going to be gone. She would never have to look at it again. She would still have the memories. She would still have the flashbacks and terrors but things would be better. Huck was right. She was trying. She wanted to be better. She wanted to be happy again. No one was going to stop her from being happy again.

Not Jake.

Not Mellie.

Not Rowan.

Not Cyrus.

And especially not herself.

Once she could lift the hammer no more, she let it fall to the ground and took in the sight in front of her. The couch was now a jumble of metal, fabric, and wood. There were cuts on her hands, small but stinging. She would take care of them soon enough. She wasn't done just yet.

Returning to the truck, Olivia got the red gas can and the engraved silver lighter. It had been a gift from Rowan. She couldn't remember exactly when he had given it to her but it was before she had realized the truth about him. She had found it during the deep clean of her apartment and it was only fitting to use it.

The remains of the couch ignited immediately and she threw the lighter into the flames, letting it all burn. Olivia knew that she still had a lot of work to do. She knew that her fight for joy was far from over but at the moment, she felt victorious. She felt vindicated and empowered.

She had taken back another piece of her soul.

She would never get them all back but that was fine.

She would always be more than a little broken inside but that didn't mean that she was unworthy.

It didn't mean that she was ruined.

There was hope.

As long as there was breath in her body, there was hope.

Don't you worry 'bout a thing Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama 'Cause I'll be standing on the side When you check it out Oh don't you worry 'bout a thing Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama 'Cause I'll be standing, I'll be standing by you

Oh Oh oh don't you worry 'bout a thing...

[trumpetnista]

LIV DOESN'T NEED TO SEX ANYONE, NOT EVEN FITZ. HER PTSD HAS TAKEN OVER AND UNTIL SHE GETS REAL HELP, HER KNEES NEED TO BE LOCKED. #Scandal

[trumpetnista]

AGAIN, EVEN IF LIV INITIATES THE SEX WITH JOKE IN 518, HE IS STILL TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER PTSD VULNERABILITY. #Scandal AND YES, HATERS, I WOULD SAY THE SAME THING IF LIV WAS TRYING TO SLEEP WITH FITZ IN 518. SHUT UP AND THINK. #Scandal

[trumpetnista]

And Liv's also supposed to talk about her Liv-napping tonight/next week. I'm glad for that. Ignoring that trauma makes it worse. #Scandal

[trumpetnista]

Keeping her with Joke & away from real mental help for her NUMEROUS issues is awful. Liv deserves better! #Scandal #TGIT @shondarhimes

[trumpetnista]

I love Olivia. I will always love her but I gotta call it like I see it. She's a cum bucket for Joke now & she needs help. #Scandal #TGIT

[trumpetnista]

"I won!"- The only thing Liv needs to WIN now is a trip to the best mental facility money can buy. #Scandal #MentalHelpforOP #TGIT

[trumpetnista]

Liv's clinging to the idea that there's still good in Joke because she feels like he's all she has left. I get it. I DON'T LIKE IT! #Scandal

[trumpetnista]

Seriously, the best OMG moment for #Scandal would be for Liv to be at a therapist's office soon. She needs it so much! #TGIT @shondarhimes

[trumpetnista]

Seriously, what is so difficult about letting #Scandal's Liv see a shrink, @shondarhimes? Do you really think that she doesn't need it? Why Liv needs therapy: bad relationship with Joke, joy phobic with Fitz, both of her parents are trash, PTSD trauma #Scandal #TGIT. If Olivia was white like Meredith, would she have been given real therapy by now? Sadly, I think the answer is YES. #Scandal #TGIT.

[trumpetnista]

I already saw this tweet and it's worth repeating: Mer's shrink needs to come to #Scandal to help Liv. STAT. Can we set up a paypal? #TGIT

[trumpetnista]

I WANT OLIVIA POPE TO GET A THERAPY SESSION, TOO! I WANT OLIVIA POPE TO GET ALL THE MENTAL HELP SHE NEEDS! #TGIT @shondarhimes

[trumpetnista]

Fitz getting a new boo should mean that Liv gets FINALLY gets therapy, stays solo, or gets a good brand new dude to be with. #Scandal #TGIT.

[trumpetnista]

Liv is on the verge of a meltdown. I hope that Fitz can support her through it and that she gets a Grey's 4B therapy arc. #Scandal #TGIT

[trumpetnista]

I want Liv's forward steps to continue. She was honest about her heart and now, she needs to stand strong. DON'T BACK DOWN! #Scandal #TGIT