#Road Trip:Punk!AU

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Road Trip : Punk!AU

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Punk!Jaskier x Reader, Punk!Geralt x Punk!Yennefer Word Count: 5,238 Rating: T Taglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak​ @whatevermonkey​ @mynamesoundslikesherlock​ @magic-multicolored-miracle​ a/n: Here is the long-awaited update to our series! It’s a big one but I hope you all enjoy it! Part V will be coming from @heroics-and-heartbreak​ sometime in the future so keep an eye out and let us know if you want to be added to the taglist!

Part IV –  But Where’s Your Heart?

{Part I}{Part II}{Part III}

Something was very, very wrong.

Jaskier was sitting shotgun while Yennefer rode behind him next to Y/N. Aevryn and Win still sat in the far back but no one spoke much. Geralt had music playing from his phone but no one sang along. It seemed like a white noise intent on covering up the awkward silence but everyone knew better. No one was talking, though. Jaskier had tried to ask Geralt about it when they pulled over at a rest station but his trademark stoicism was back with a vengeance and he shrugged him off. He’d tried to talk with Aevryn who just plastered a smile on her face and when he broke through that she just told him to let it be. Yennefer approached him first, having watched him try and get answers from the others, and told him plainly to stay the fuck out of it.

“Shutting out your friends isn’t very punk rock of you, Yennefer!” he’d called at her retreating back. She flipped him off without so much as a glance back and Jaskier made up his mind.

“There,” he said, pointing to a spot on the map.

“What’s that?” Geralt asked.

“Chicago. We’re going to Chicago. We’ve been driving without so much as a World’s Biggest Yarn stop. I know it’s called a road trip but you are actually supposed to get out and see things once and a while,” Jaskier explained. Geralt rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Aevryn, what do you think?” Jaskier asked, calling back to his friend who looked up from her phone with a startled expression. Yennefer didn’t turn to look at her, but Aevryn felt her gaze all the same.

“Sure, sounds good,” she said. Jaskier brightened a bit and turned to you.

“That’s one vote in favor, Y/N, I know you’re with me?” he asked.

“Of course!” you said quickly. You’d picked up on the odd vibe in the van and it had begun to pick at you, making you think about and face your own insecurities and doubts when you’d really wanted the trip be a fun, breezy distraction.

“That’s three, Win?” Jaskier asked, shooting her a charming smile.

“You know I’m up for a good time,” Win replied. Jaskier turned to Geralt holding up four fingers triumphantly.

“And when did this become a democracy exactly?” Geralt grumbled.

“Since I said so,” Jaskier retorted.

“Oh very democratic of you, don’t recall voting on that,” Geralt muttered.

“Think of it like this, Geralt. You all are Parliament but I am the Queen,” Jaskier replied giving the drummer a magnanimous grin.

“Infirm and needing to be overthrown as soon as possible?” Geralt retorted.

“Oh for fuck’s sake Geralt are you going to Chicago or not?” Yennefer snapped. You and Jaskier shared a wide-eyed look and then quickly looked away. Geralt stiffened in his seat and you thought the steering wheel may break in his grip. Another silence settled over the car but when the sign for the exit came, Geralt turned onto it without a word.

-----

“Navy Pier!” cried, arms thrown open wide as your little group stood at the entrance.

“Where’s the bean?” Aevryn asked, looking up from her phone where she’d googled Chicago just to try and remember which of the states that was.

“No bean here,” Win explained, threading her fingers through Aevryn’s, “Lots of other cool stuff though. My parents took me here when I was a kid. We gotta go on the swings.”

“Swings?” Aevryn asked, giving her a bemused look, “We have swings in England too.”

“Not that kinda swing, babe,” Win said with a little wink and then, a little pointedly, “You’ll have to put the phone down while we’re on it though.”

Yennefer looked intently out towards the ocean and you felt another thread of tension wend through the group. Aevryn and Win set off and you heard Win asking, “real quick, how do you feel about heights?” as they disappeared into the roaming crowd of tourists.

“Hey,” you said, turning to Jaskier, “I have an idea. How about we pair up and take on the park. Divide and conquer, you know?”

“Um,” Jaskier glanced at the group and then back at you, “I mean… yeah…”

“I’ll go with Yennefer!” you declared, a look of relief immediately coming over Jaskier’s face.

“Alright Geralt that leaves us!” he said, walking over to his friend who grunted in response. You took Yennefer’s arm and walked off with her, trying to decide what would be the perfect activity to do with the coolest person you’d ever met.

-----

 Yennefer clutched the golden pole sticking out of the bright, teal dragon she sat on. You squeezed the center of the brown horse you sat on and held your arms up as you had when you were a little girl.

“Look!” you cried, pulling Yennefer’s attention to you, “No hands!”

She laughed, looking relaxed and happy for the first time in days. She shifted in her seat so she was sitting side-saddle, rising and falling as the carousal wound its way in a circle.

“Admit it, you thought it was gonna be lame but it’s really fun going back and doing the stuff from childhood,” you said with a smug grin.

“This is my first carousal ride actually,” she admitted.

“Oh… does England not have…?”

“Oh, they do,” she said with a laugh, “I just didn’t go out much. My foster parents weren’t big on trips.”

Your stomach flopped with the motion of the carousal horse and Yennefer saw you freeze in a way she was used to people doing when she let slip that she’d been a foster child.

“They weren’t abusive, they just had too many kids to wrangle to the fair and stuff. It wasn’t bad,” Yennefer insisted.

“That’s cool,” you said, nodding, uncertain what else to say.

“Also, I didn’t think this was going to be lame. You had me at ‘you can ride a dragon’,” she said with another smile that lit up the usually cool, impassive face.

“Hey,” you said, trying to sit side-saddle as well and nearly falling off the horse, “We don’t have to talk about it, but I just wanted to check in. Cuz things aren’t ok. And you should know that you can talk about it if you want. I won’t even tell Jask, swear on MCR’s entire discography.”

You said this with a solemn face, holding your hand up as though you were in court. Yennefer considered your words and you held your breath, wondering if she might actually confide in you.

“What would you do if Jaskier and you broke up?” she asked. You blinked, the words hitting you like a bucket of ice water and sinking deep down to the thoughts you’d been fighting against.

“Um. Well… cry?” you offered lamely.

“Would you still travel with him or would you go back home?” she probed.

“Well, I would probably go home. I mean, that’s gonna happen anyway, right? I still have school to finish and this isn’t… we haven’t really talked about what happens next,” your voice trailed away and your nails chipped at the golden paint of the pole you gripped a bit tighter.

“Oh shit, Y/N, I’m sorry that was a senseless question,” Yennefer apologized, jumping of off her dragon steed to walk over to you.

“You can’t do that!” a kid yelled behind her. Yennefer shot them a baleful glare then turned back to you.

“Hey,” she said, “You and Jask are great. Whatever you’re facing you’re going to do it together. It’s different for you. You… you really have something, you know? It’s not like… I mean… It’s not…”

Her voice trailed off as well and she held onto your horse, the swirling of the carousal suddenly hitting her as well. You took a deep breath and looked at Yennefer, a fierce determination in your eyes.

“Once this thing stops you wanna go eat just a fuckton of corn dogs?” you asked.

“What’s a corndog?” Yennefer asked. Your eyes widened and she grew nervous at the intensity in your eyes. Apparently she would be learning what a corndog was very, very soon.

-----

Geralt gripped the rock in his hands, muscles rippling beneath the loose, white tank top as he pulled himself higher. He was only halfway up but that still left him a good 12 feet above ground. He took a deep breath, a sense of relief flooding him as he rose above the pain and problems that awaited him back on earth.

“You’re doing great!” a voice called somewhere below him a good six feet, “Well done Geralt!”

Geralt peered over at Jaskier who gripped the piece of rock with white knuckles and frowned.

“Why did you do this, Jaskier? You hate heights,” Geralt called down.

“I do not! Well, I didn’t know that I did,” Jaskier amended, marveling at how relaxed Geralt seemed while hovering above the earth in a way humans were surely never intended to be. “Anyway it seemed like something you’d enjoy and I was right! Look at you! You almost look human!”

Geralt shook his head but Jaskier could see a hint of smirk in the corner of his lips. It spurred him to climb a bit higher, Geralt watching with concern that did not help Jaskier feel any better about things. When he was about eye-level with Geralt’s knee he paused and looked up into his friend’s amber eyes.

“Alright Geralt, talk to me,” he said between gasps.

“Was this your plan? Isolate me in the air and get me to talk?” Geralt asked, looking almost a bit proud.

“Well that’s one way of putting it. Another is that I would help my friend relax and hope he may open up to me a bit,” Jaskier replied. Geralt looked up to the top of the wall and back down at Jaskier, a dangerous smile on his face.

“If you can meet me up there, we’ll talk,” he said, and turned to start climbing, scaling the wall with a nearly inhuman nimbleness while Jaskier sputtered and then set his face, determined.

“Alright you bloody bastard I’ll show you that Julian Pankratz doesn’t back down from a challenge,” he mumbled. Geralt looked out across the pier, the cool breeze of the air blowing his hair back and cooling the sweat off his face a welcome balm. Somewhere out there, among the millions of people, Yennefer was walking around. He wondered if he looked right now he could find her, seemingly always drawn to her no matter how much they tried to pull away. His musings were interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice calling his name. He looked down and paled as he saw Jaskier gripping a rock much closer than he’d expected. He’d thought Jaskier would give up and head back down and Geralt would get more of his quiet contemplation. Instead his friend had apparently taken the challenge in earnest. It hadn’t felt like a long way to climb when it was just him but now that he saw Jaskier hovering over the earth it was a dizzying expanse and he quickly climbed down where Jaskier stood. He knew that his friend wasn’t weak by any means but his arms trembled, from exertion or fear he couldn’t tell.

“Jaskier,” Geralt said, gripping one of Jaskier’s arms.

“Oh hello Geralt I was just, uh, well I looked down which was deeply stupid of me and now I seem to be paralyzed,” Jaskier replied, a slightly manic smile on his face. His breathing was a bit shallow and Geralt locked eyes, amber seeking sky blue.

“Jaskier, the only way at this point is up. I’m going to get you there,” Geralt said, speaking slowly.

“Cool cool cool brilliant but the part where I’m paralyzed, Geralt, what of that?” Jaskier asked.

“Just stay focused on me, alright? Take some deep breaths with me.”

Geralt helped Jaskier slowly deepen his breathing and once that was done he began to talk to him about random things, trying to distract him.

“So, is the road trip everything you’d hoped?” Geralt asked.

“Well it was before everyone got so weird,” Jaskier said, pinning Geralt with a meaningful look.

“Hmm,” Geralt replied.

“I’ll make a deal with you Geralt,” Jaskier suggested, the sly tone in his voice making Geralt very suspicious, “I will climb a bit more with each answer you give me.”

“That’s extortion,” Geralt argued.

“Are you in a position to barter?” Jaskier asked.

“Are you?” Geralt bit back.

“C’mon, Geralt, we both know you’re hating this more than I am. And that’s saying something because gods knows I’m hating this with every fiber of my being,” Jaskier argued. Geralt took a deep breath and nodded tersely.

“But I have the right to refuse the question,” he said. Jaskier nodded in agreement and thought about what to ask, not wanting to shut him down by asking the bigger questions too quickly.

“What do you think of Y/N?” he asked. Geralt blinked in surprise, relieved to have an easy question.

“I like her,” he replied, “She doesn’t suffer your bullshit but she’s also good to you. She fits in with the band well.”

“I like her too, a lot,” Jaskier said, a dreamy smile coming over his face. Geralt looked pointedly at Jaskier who remembered his side of the deal and took a few tentative steps, Geralt watching him carefully though he knew that he was strapped in a harness that would prevent any lasting damage if he fell.

“Who’s a better musician? Me or Valdo Marx?” Jaskier asked, his tone fierce and his blue eyes steely.

“You,” Geralt answered quickly, “Where the fuck did that come from?”

“Just checking,” Jaskier answered, seemingly distracted by his anger at Valdo as he progressed up the wall farther than Geralt had expected, stopping a few feet from the top.

“What is one thing we haven’t done on this road trip that you want to do?” he asked. Geralt furrowed his brow, thinking over the question. He only really wanted one thing anymore and he couldn’t have it. All other things felt small in comparison.

“I want to put my feet in the ocean,” Geralt said, trying to figure out a thing that may be nice. Jaskier’s face lit up and he crossed the last bit of wall, sitting next to Geralt at the top.

“I can do that, Geralt!” he said excitedly, “We can go right after this!”

“Jaskier you did it!” Geralt said. Jaskier looked around, suddenly realizing that he was no longer clutching the side of the wall. He took in the beautiful view and exhaled slowly.

“Well I guess I did,” he said offhandedly before turning back to Geralt, “Seems I have one last question.”

Geralt ran a hand through the silver hair he’d tied up in a bun, pulling some strands out as he did.

“Geralt, what is going on between you and Yennefer? I don’t need gross details, but I want to know what’s happening,” Jaskier implored. Geralt knew it was coming but it didn’t make hearing the question any easier. Jaskier waited patiently, hands in his lap as he left his friend the silence he needed to ponder his answer.

“I proposed,” Geralt said. Jaskier’s eyes widened.

“Oh that’s – Oh, ah,” he said, is excitement shifting to pained sympathy as he realized that it must not have gone well.

“Last year,” Geralt added.

“What?”

“Yeah,” Geralt nodded and sighed deeply.

“And she…”

“Said no.”

“Right.”

The two men stared out at the pier as Jaskier chewed over the words in his mind, trying to decide what to say next.

“Geralt, why didn’t you tell me?”

“What? Oh hey Jaskier, I asked Yen to marry me, she said no and also broke up with me,” Geralt said sarcastically.

“Yes, sure, why not? We’re friends, Geralt, friends share these things,” Jaskier argued.

“I guess I’m not really sure how this all works yet,” Geralt mumbled.

“What, friendship?”

Geralt didn’t answer but Jaskier understood his silence.

“Well… fuck her, right?” Jaskier asked, trying to sound confident in his declaration. Geralt glared at him.

“It’s not her fault,” Geralt said, “I’m not mad at her. Well, I am. But I’m also not. It would be easier if I was just angry.”

“How have you worked together so well? I mean there’s been fights and awkwardness, sure, but you both still show up,” Jaskier said.

“Of course we show up,” Geralt replied, “We’re not going to abandon you, Jaskier.”

Jaskier laughed and blinked back the tears that the words brought to his eyes. Geralt glanced at him and then quickly looked away.

“So, uh, where does that leave you now? I mean is there any chance that you’ll… I dunno. What do you want?” Jaskier asked once he’d composed himself. Geralt closed his eyes, remembering the feeling of her skin, still able to conjure her sweet scent and the sound of her voice in his ear. She was always with him and somehow never fully there.

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Geralt said, “Not if she doesn’t want the same things. And she doesn’t.”

“Well that’s… balls,” Jaskier finished lamely.

“Yeah, it is,” Geralt agreed. They shared a sad smile and looked out onto the pier where Jaskier’s eyes fell on something that made him sneer.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he bit out.

“What?”

Jaskier pointed to a billboard in the distance. It was a black board with two initials in emerald green: VM. Below it was a date 07.31.21.

“Ugh, I almost forgot he was releasing an album. I don’t like it, Geralt. Its smug aura mocks me,” Jaskier complained. Geralt chuckled at his friend’s vehemence but shared his dislike for the advertisement.

“Well that’s ruined this air, how do we get off this damn thing,” Jaskier grumbled and Geralt moved quickly to help his friend over to where they could begin their descent, moving away from the all-seeing eyes of Valdo Marx.

-----

Aevryn screamed.

The world spun below her, legs dangling in the air as she was thrown around in a large, yawning arc and she screamed louder than she had in her entire life. She screamed out of sheer exhilaration at the weightlessness and adrenaline pumping through her veins. She screamed for the frustration she felt at Yennefer and herself and Valdo and nearly everyone in her life. Most of all she screamed because it felt like the only thing she could do right now that wouldn’t cause someone pain. When the ride slowed she tilted her head back and closer her eyes, bidding farewell to the reprieve she felt from her problems. Once reunited out of the ride gates Win pulled her into a hug.

“Are you ok?” she asked.

“Yeah that was great! Why?” Aevryn asked.

“You just screamed a lot I was worried you’d been trying to look brave for me when you agreed to ride it,” Win replied. Aevryn planted a soft kiss on Win’s cheek and looked into her eyes.

“You’re so sweet,” she said. She knew it wasn’t fair to compare Valdo to anyone but she had to admit it was clear between him and Win who was kinder. Then again, it wasn’t about Win or Valdo, really. It wasn’t a competition. That’s not how love worked. Aevryn slid her hand in Win’s and walked her over to a bench that looked out onto the ocean, steeling herself to have a conversation she hadn’t been expecting to have until the end of the tour. As soon as they sat down Aevryn’s phone vibrated in her pocket but she forced herself to leave it alone. Win looked into Aevryn’s sea green eyes and pulled her in for a kiss, cupping her face as she pulled back to look her in the eyes again.

“I release you,” Win said dramatically.

“What?” Aevryn asked.

“Aev I know what’s about to happen,” Win replied with a little smile, “I’m not dumb. I know that the ex is in the picture.”

“It’s not that s-”

“Babe,” Win said, giving her a look that halted Aevryn’s attempt at an explanation, “It’s ok. We knew what this was when we entered it and while you’re an amazing woman, I’m gonna be ok.”

Aevryn worried her lip between her teeth as she considered what Win said, wondering if anything really could be this easy.

“Are you sure?” Aevryn asked. Win nodded and patted her knee.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Win asked, nodding to the phone in Aevryn’s pocket.

“Not really,” Aevryn answered, though a part of her desperately did. She didn’t have Yennefer to talk to anymore and while she trusted you, she was afraid Jaskier would somehow find out. The fewer people who knew the better.

“Ok,” Win said, “Then we won’t. But the offer stands.”

“You’re a really good friend,” Aevryn said sincerely, heart filling with gratitude. Everything felt out of control but Win remained the eye of the storm, a calm reprieve amidst the chaos.

“I really am,” Win emphasized with a playful smile that made Aevryn laugh. “Did we make plans to meet up with the others?”

“Uh I don’t think so, let me see if Jask texted about it,” Aevryn said, pulling out her phone.

@valdomarxofficial: My new album is coming out tomorrow. I hope you’ll listen to it, even if your music tastes have changed.

Aevryn sighed and Win pulled out her phone to text you about plans instead as her friend typed back.

@aeverona: just bc Im with vicious mockery doesn’t mean I hate your music, Valdo. Ive always loved it. That hasnt changed.

“We’re meeting up at the Ferris Wheel,” Win said.

“What?” Aevryn asked, looking up at her. Win smiled and shook her head.

“C’mon,” she said, standing up and holding out her hand for Aevryn’s. Aevryn let Win lead her through the crowd, trying to pretend the buzzing of her phone didn’t send a jolt through her heart as she made herself leave it alone as they made their way to the looming Ferris Wheel.

-----

You and Yennefer arrived at Wheel first, Yennefer holding an untouched corndog. Two hands covered your eyes and you could smell the telltale cedar that followed your boyfriend around.

“Guess who,” he sang into your ear.

“Geralt we have to stop meeting like this,” you joked. Jaskier swatted your ass and pulled you around to face him, pulling you in for a kiss. Geralt walked up, the flannel he’d tied around his waist to climb back on his shoulders as the evening air cooled. Sunset began to creep across the sky and it was lovely. It also escaped Geralt’s notice completely as Yennefer walked up to him and thrust out the corndog.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“It’s a corndog,” she said, holding it out like an olive branch.

“What do you… do with it?” he asked. She smirked at his confusion as though she hadn’t asked you the exact same question when you’d handed one to her.

“You eat it,” she said. He shrugged and took it from her hands, fingertips brushing against each other’s in the briefest caress, and took a large bite. He chewed for a bit, face ponderous for a moment.

“If nobbad,” he mumbled through a mouthful of cornbread and hotdog. Yennefer chuckled and Geralt softened, happy for a reprieve from the tension though he knew it was only a matter of time before it was back.

Jaskier pressed his forehead against yours, nose brushing against yours.

“I missed you,” he said, sky blue eyes gazing into yours.

“I missed you too,” you said, tilting your head up to plant another soft kiss on his lips.

“I have a plan for some alone time but we’re going to have to engage in a little celebrity pandering,” Jaskier said.

“I don’t care if you have to buy the whole park to do it, I want some time with you. But I mean. Don’t actually do that,” you said. He smiled and kissed you again, taking your hand in his and walking over to where Aevryn and Win now caught up with Yennefer and Geralt.

“Alright gang, I hope you’ve all had a wonderful day, I nearly died no fewer than 27 times as Geralt will attest-”

“He was perfectly safe.”

“As I was saying, I am a hero among men and I have missed you all but not as much as I’ve missed Y/N so I am going to do the thing we always promised each other we wouldn’t do unless there was a dire need,” Jaskier announced dramatically. You and Win exchanged confused looks while Yennefer, Geralt, and Aevryn exchanged judgmental ones.

“I am going to name drop,” Jaskier said. “I am going to offer a selfie, I am going to offer a review, I am going to whore myself and in turn all of us out for a shot at getting one of those brilliant blue buckets for Y/N and I to share alone.”

“Just go fuck in the porta potty like a normal person,” Win said, rolling her eyes.

“Bro,” you said, sound betrayed. Win just shrugged but shot you an amused smile.

“You realize once we’ve done that it’s going to be a madhouse,” Yennefer argued.

“I do,” he agreed, “But we will sneak out and run away. After I sign a few autographs. Maybe take a few selfies. Agree to host a few karaoke parties…”

“Jaskier!” Aevryn cried.

“Kidding!” he argued, though you could tell he wasn’t. “Anyway, I felt it was only fair to warn you before I go do this. I will try and keep you out of it if possible but all’s fair in love and war and at a carnival, you’ve got a bit of both. Ooh that could be a lyric maybe…”

He walked off with you before anyone could protest further. It turned out to be much easier than he anticipated. The operator of the ride knew him on sight and was thrilled at his offer of a selfie as well as a generous tip. The next bucket came down and the two of you climbed on, trying not to feel bad about the people left waiting in line. Jaskier wrapped an arm around you and snuggled in close, holding your head against his chest as the bucket slowly rose in the air.

“Wait, you hate heights!” you said, sitting up so suddenly you nearly gave him a black eye.

“Oh I’ve conquered that fear today,” he said casually, wrapping an arm around you again, “Speaking of, what did you and Yen get up to today? Any new piercings I should be warned about?”

He peered at your waistband and you shoved him playfully.

“No! We rode the carousal,” you replied.

“Really? Oh man what I wouldn’t give for a photo of that,” he mused.

“It was actually really nice. We just talked,” you said and then your heart sank as you remembered what you’d talked about. Jaskier sensed your mood drop, pale blue eyes lined with kohl giving you a meaningful look. You took a deep breath and shifted to face him.

“Jaskier I…”

“I love you.”

Jaskier blurted out the words that sat between the two of you, lingering in the air like the sweet scent of cotton candy and salty tang of the ocean.

“Oh,” you said, uncertain what else to say. Well, you knew what you wanted to say, but it wasn’t that easy.

“It’s ok,” he said, “I mean, say what you need to say I just… needed you to know that.”

He looked down and his hands, still holding one of yours, and you lifted a hand to cup his face. He leaned into it, pressing a kiss into your palm, the soft, chestnut hair brushing against your fingertips.

“I love you too,” you said, because it was true, regardless of the unanswered questions. His eyes rose to yours and saw a mix of fear and relief.

“I feel like people are usually happy when they confess their love for each other but… you don’t look happy. What is it, love?” he asked, the endearment hitting you harder now that the full weight of the word stood behind it.

“I love you so much,” you said, fighting back tears, “But… Jaskier what happens next?”

Jaskier took a deep breath and looked down.

“We keep saying we’ll deal with it later but we’re running out of later, Jask. Summer’s almost over and I’m scared… I’m scared that this is just going to… I don’t know. I’m not sure,” you mumbled.

“Yes you do,” he said, looking back up at you, “You’re scared that you’ll go back to school and I’ll go back to LA and we’ll try and keep in touch and visit but it’ll peter out.”

“Yes,” you admitted, “That’s exactly what I’m scared about. And there’s really no way around it because you have your life and I have mine and I’m not going to give up school.”

“Y/N I would never let you do that. I’d never support the choice, anyway, not for me,” Jaskier insisted, “But I’ve been thinking about it and I have an idea. It wouldn’t mean no time apart and it wouldn’t mean that our lives wouldn’t still be busy but… I’m willing to do what it takes, Y/N.”

“What’s your idea?” you asked, wiping away the tears that had fallen despite your best efforts, smearing your eyeliner in a way that you were sure was ghastly but Jaskier’s eyes remained just as filled with love and adoration no matter how much of a raccoon you became.

“Seattle’s a pretty big city. A lot of great opportunities for musicians there,” he said. Your eyes widened as you realized what he was saying.

“Jaskier you can’t just up and move,” you cried.

“I can, though! That’s the thing about being rich, you can literally do whatever you want pretty much. It’s actually a bit terrifying. And I know what you’re going to say and yes, I’ve talked with the band. And I talked with Andrzej when I first had the thought and he said it’s possible. But I want to respect your space as well. So if this is something that would be too much or you don’t want me that cl-”

You cut off Jaskier’s words with a kiss, pressing yourself as close as possible. He deepened the kiss, tongue sliding between your lips as you nipped at his bottom lip. When you pulled back for a breath he kept his forehead resting against yours.

“I want you as close as I can get you,” you said, “I don’t care how creepy that sounds, it’s true.”

“Gods I love you,” he murmured.

“I love you too.”

“I love how that sounds,” he said with a little laugh, “I love love.”

“Ok we’re getting gross we have to pull it back,” you said. He nodded in agreement and settled on kissing you again and again. Outside the bucket the world rose and fell, the sun waned and the tides turned and a thousand questions and choices and uncertainties waited for all of you. But in that little bucket, Jaskier in your arms, you knew deep in your bones that you would find a way through.

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Road Trip : Punk!AU

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Punk!Geralt x Punk!Yennefer Word Count: 2,717 Rating: M Taglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak​ @whatevermonkey​ @mynamesoundslikesherlock​ @magic-multicolored-miracle​ a/n: If you missed Part II you can find the link below as written by @heroics-and-heartbreak​ my partner on this adventure and co-founder of our little Punk!AU. Read on for angst!

Part III – It’s all over, baby, but I’m still yours

{Part I} {Part II}

“Give me the phone.”

Aevryn’s eyes widened and she clutched the phone tighter. Everyone had left the van quickly except for her and Yennefer who had watched as Aevryn’s mouth curled into a little smile as she looked at the phone. She knew exactly what was going on and it was time to confront her while the rest of the group was gone. Especially Jaskier.

“Yen it’s not what it looks like,” Aevryn began. Yennefer propped a hand on her hips and fixed her with her patented “don’t bullshit me” stare.

“And what do you think it looks like, Aev?” she asked. The phone buzzed in Aevryn’s hand and Yennefer looked down at it pointedly.

“Listen… I know this is going to sound stupid. But I think, maybe this time… I think he’s trying, Yen, and don’t give me that look!” Aevryn protested as Yennefer shook her head, a familiar look of disappointment in her eyes that stung, “We had a long talk and he hasn’t been shitty. He’s been worried but that’s something, right?”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Yennefer asked. Aevryn winced, Yennefer’s words striking her as painfully as her fists may have.

“I don’t owe you anything here, Yen,” Aevryn said, her voice growing distant and icy and defensive, “I’m a grown adult. So is he. People can change. For fuck’s sake, I thought you of all people-”

“What the hell does that mean?” Yennefer asked. Aevryn took a deep breath, willing herself not to say anything she’d regret later. She knew Yennefer was protective for good reason and with good intentions. But she was already having this fight with herself, she didn’t need to have it with anyone else. Not yet. There would be time for fighting later.

“Are you going to tell Jask?” Aevryn asked.

“No,” Yennefer answered quickly.

The phone buzzed again.

“Win’s going to be looking for me,” Aevryn said, moving to push past Yennefer. She held her back by the shoulder and the pair locked eyes.

“How many times are you going to let him hurt you?” she asked. If she’d said it with disdain Aevryn could have been angry. But she’d said it sadly, the weary voice of someone who has had to help pick up their friend time and time again and is watching them hurl themselves right back into the fray.

“You don’t have to take care of me if it goes wrong. I know the risks,” Aevryn said, jostling past her and heading towards the low rolling fields as quickly as she could, tears stinging her eyes.

“But I will,” Yennefer called after her. She could tell by the stiffening of Aevryn’s shoulders that she’d heard her, but she continued walking as though she hadn’t and Yennefer let her go.

“Fuck,” Yennefer whispered to herself, kicking the tire with her boot.

“Hey, leave Roach out of this.”

Yennefer wheeled around to find Geralt walking over to the other side of the van. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his leather jacket and he gave her a searching stare. She’d once compared him to malware, always scanning for problems.

“How long were you standing there?” Yennefer asked, an edge to her voice.

“Not long,” he admitted, “I was looking to see if I could find someplace quiet to meditate but they’re making too much damn noise.”

The whoops and laughter of the rest of your group were carried on the slowly cooling evening air though they couldn’t be seen anymore. They’d gone deep into the fields, leaving Yennefer and Geralt to catch up when they chose. Or, as was the silent understanding, if they chose.

“Any chance you’ll tell me what’s got you all twisted up?” Geralt asked, leaning against the van and tossing her a glance that tried just a bit too hard to be casual. She knew he could see everything; the frustration, the fear, the sadness. The way her hands trembled slightly as it did after a confrontation with someone she loved, caused by the fear that it would lead at any moment to losing them forever. Geralt knew these things but he was too good to speak on it without her permission. He was too good period.

“No,” she answered bluntly, and he gave a wry, knowing smile, nodding and then tilting his head back to rest against the rusted metal. A low roll of thunder sounded overhead, the skies going grey without their notice and Yennefer thought back to another night like this one. A night that had started beautifully and ended in a storm from which neither ever fully returned.

“You still do tarot?” Geralt asked, though he knew the answer.

“Why?” Yennefer asked, cautious but intrigued despite herself. He shrugged and his eyes, such a light brown they nearly glowed golden, peered down at her.

“Thought you might give me a reading,” he said. Yennefer cocked an eyebrow in disbelief at him.

“You always said it was horseshit,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her.

“I’ve been wrong about things before,” he answered with a shrug, “So, you gonna do it or not?”

Yennefer rolled her eyes and pushed off of the van, moving towards the passenger side where she’d left her bag, Geralt’s eyes following her the whole way.

“Well since you asked so nicely,” she said sarcastically. He climbed into the back of the van and she followed suit, a deck of cards in hand that she quickly began to shuffle once they’d sat down.

“What kind of spread are you looking for?” she asked. Geralt gave her a wolfish smile and she fixed him with an unimpressed look though she had to bite back a laugh.

“What questions do you have for me?” she tried again and Geralt sat back against the window, his large frame crouching to fit into the small space.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, “Can’t you just pull some cards and tell me my future or whatever?”

“If you’re just going to be a dick I’m not doing this,” Yennefer said, moving to put the cards back in their box. A large, scarred hand reached out and rested on top of hers, stalling her movement. She looked up to meet his eyes which were apologetic.

“Ok,” he said, relenting, “I want to know…”

He paused and Yennefer watched breathlessly, chest tightening as she thought about the answers she knew he was still looking for, ones she couldn’t give him no matter how badly she wanted to.

“I want to know how the road trip’s going to go,” he said, and he saw the almost imperceptible shift of Yennefer’s shoulders as she exhaled with relief.

“Fair enough,” she said, continuing her shuffling. The deck was one she’d made herself, from the cardstock she’d crafted from wood pulp to the ink she’d distilled from lavender oil and other harvested ingredients. She’d designed the tarot images herself, making them unique to her. While Geralt had his reservations about magic, he unreservedly admired her ingenuity and craftmanship. He’d made the box for her cards, hewn from oak with a message burned on the inside of the box that both of them were careful not to pay attention to or mention though both knew it was there.

She spread the cards out gently and carefully facedown on the crinkly plastic covered seat.

“Pick a card, any card,” she said with a twinkle in her eye, serious in her craft but playful in her methods. Geralt took his time, staring down at them as though he were trying to will the cards to work in his favor. He was pretty sure that wasn’t how this worked but damn if he wouldn’t try. He finally pointed to one and Yennefer pulled it out, flipping it face up between the two of them.

Disembodied hands reaching out from the bottom of the card posed in supplication to a breaking dawn depicted in shimmering, golden ink. In the middle, as it was in all of her major arcana cards, a roman numeral was drawn; XX.

Geralt looked to Yennefer’s face immediately, trying to read her reaction to figure out if it was good or bad. She looked at the card for a few minutes in silence.

“Well?” Geralt asked finally, unable to wait any longer as the tension built.

“Judgement,” she said. His brows furrowed in concern and she looked up to meet his eyes.

“It’s not bad,” she explained.

“Judgment has rarely been favorable for me,” he said. “Whose judgment?”

“Good question,” she said, looking back down to the card, “It’s usually associated with resurrection and awakening. Second chances or new beginnings. Something coming to an end to make way for something else.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Geralt said, glaring at the card.

“Well you don’t believe in it, so it doesn’t matter much,” Yennefer said with a little shrug, gathering her cards and opening the box to put them back. Her eyes slipped to the words on the inside; all my love. It had been so sweet once upon a time. Now it weighed on her heart.

“I may not have always understood or believed in the methods, but I will always believe in you,” Geralt insisted.

Yennefer didn’t know if it was the urgent need in his voice the betrayed how badly he wanted her to know he believed in her – still, present tense, not past – or the closeness of their bodies in the small space. It could have been the scent of leather and aftershave that muddled her senses or the way his hand brushing against hers triggered memories throughout her body of the way it felt to be held and stroked and touched by him. It could have been the threatening knell of the Judgment card calling for an end and the panic that flooded her at the thought that the end could be this, could be them forever, finally. Destiny making a call she hadn’t been strong enough to commit to fully. Whatever the reason, be it all or none of them, she found herself pressing into his arms, her mouth seeking his and finding him eagerly receptive. His large hands seized her waist and pulled her onto his lap so she straddled him, feeling the hardening length already straining against his jeans. Her hands cupped his face, the familiar sensation of scruff and jaw and soft silver hair twining around her fingers comforting her like a song she’d turn to in times of sorrow. He ran a hand through her long, dark hair, as silky and soft as it had always been, would always be.

“This is a bad idea,” Yennefer murmured as Geralt’s lips moved down the slender column of her neck, tongue laving at the crook of her neck, undoing her in quick succession, aware of all the spots she loved best and therefore he loved too.

“You’re right,” he agreed, a hand cupping one of her breasts through the thin fabric of the cotton crop top she’d worn. “Do you want me to s-”

She cut off the question with a kiss. If she had to answer it, she had to think. And she was tired of thinking. Tired of questioning and guarding and- just tired.

“Shut up. Kiss me. Hold me tight,” she ordered. He growled in response and their bodies fell into an old dance. Hands worked at buttons and clothes were pushed aside and soon they were together again, joining as they had a thousand times before, each time peppered with an extra sense of urgency as they feared it would be the last time.

“I’ve missed you,” she sighed, the words slipping out on the heels of a moan as Geralt rocked into her.

“Gods I’ve missed you too,” he breathed, pressing his forehead against hers and gripping her tighter.

“I’ve wanted this. I’ve wanted you,” the words fell from her lips like a confession and she found herself unable to stop them. It had always been hard to hide from Geralt for too long. He always saw her, and she always came back, eager to be found and seen and… other things she feared.

“Yennefer,” he pressed her name against her lips and she tasted the unspoken emotion he felt for her in it. The unspeakable thing that kept them tethered against all odds.

She stopped his mouth with her own, but she could feel him say her name still, every kiss a declaration her body answered in turn. It didn’t take long before she felt the tension building rapidly to a place there’d be no coming back from and Geralt could feel it too, pulling her face back to look her in the eyes, watching her soft flesh warm and redden and her chest rise and fall and her mouth wrap around the final, breathy gasps of her release. The sight alone would have been enough but the way she clenched around him brought him with her and as he came he pressed his head against her chest, feeling her heartbeat flutter rapidly. Yennefer pressed her lips onto his head, her arm wrapping around him and holding in there against her chest for a beat, and then two, and then she began to worry that she would never able to let him go.

“I love you.”

He heard her heart skip a beat and then it was gone, her body pushing away from his too fast for him to stop, already bitterly angry with himself for letting the words out. And then angry that he had to try.

“Yennefer,” he called, quickly tucking himself back in and going after her as she jumped out of the van, pulling a top on quickly and pausing only to button her clothes as she got out.

“Yennefer I love you,” he repeated, knowing there was no way to walk it back so he might as well have it out, “I love you and I know you love me.”

She looked up at him, eyes wild like a wounded animal who’s been cornered and he knew she was dangerous and he loved her for it.

“Geralt don’t,” she said warningly, though she knew it was too late. The thunder, forgotten in their time in the van, rolled louder overhead, echoing the emotions that warred in her.

“I’m not going to ask you to marry me. Not again. But why does that have to be the end of it? Why do we have to pretend that there’s nothing here when there clearly is. What did I do?” his voice cracked at the last word and nearly knocked the breath out of her.

“You didn’t do anything,” she said.

“Then why?” he asked, “Why wasn’t it enough? Why wasn’t I enough?”

“It’s not all about you, Geralt,” she snapped, retreating into anger as the other emotions became too large and terrifying to face any longer. He could see her retreating, see the icy wall she held in place slowly build back up and he grasped her arms, pulling her in as though the added warmth of his body could help melt it away. It only rose quicker, harder, colder.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, “I’m still here.”

“This was a bad idea,” she repeated, more to himself than him. She wrenched herself out of his grasp and turned, walking into the field with no clear idea of where she was going or what she would do. In any other instance she would have sought out Aevryn but the very thought of her friend twisted her heart further. She couldn’t have Geralt, she couldn’t protect Aevryn. She didn’t really have any right to hate Valdo the way she did when she of all people understood him best. Because what was she doing with Geralt if not practically doing what Valdo did with Aevryn? She’d never been disloyal to Geralt but she was just as inaccessible and just as selfishly pulled between wanting the love and attention she received and pushing everyone away out of fear of being hurt. She knew Valdo couldn’t be trusted because she couldn’t be trusted. Not with her own heart and certainly not with Geralt’s.

Tonight, she’d chosen poorly. Tomorrow, she’d choose better.

Or she’d leave.

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Road Trip : Punk!AU

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Punk!Aevryn x Punk!Valdo, Punk!Jaskier x Reader, Punk!Geralt x Punk!Yennefer Word Count: 3,329 Rating: T (swearing and violence) Taglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak​ @whatevermonkey​ @mynamesoundslikesherlock​ @magic-multicolored-miracle​ @ultracolorfulnerdcollection​ @coffee-and-stories​ @nevadawolfe​ a/n: This one is pure, distilled angst with just a whisper of muddled yearning. Ball’s in your court, Joz. Enjoy.

Part VI - Your shockwave whisper has sealed your fate

{Part I}{Part II}{Part III}{Part IV}{Part V}

When Valdo Marx pictured the renaissance of his great love story it had never happened in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Still he sat at a little table in the corner, awaiting Aevryn’s return. He clutched his phone in his hands, oversized vintage headphones tamping down his unruly brunette curls as he tried to calm himself by listening to his favorite album. His thinly veiled hipster sensibilities appreciated it because he knew no one else had ever listened to it outside of perhaps five people at most. His aching heart loved it because it was hers; a recording they’d made in his father’s studio when they were kids. The sonorous notes of the violin echoed in his mind, a secret unrequited anthem that kept her close at all times.

He saw the door open from the corner of his eye and sat up expectantly, hope plain on his face that faded to high-pitched anxiety when he saw who had entered the café.

“Valdo,” she said, sitting across from him without invitation, ever the queen of the space she inhabited no matter how briefly.

“Yennefer,” he replied, “What the hell are you doing here?”

She raised an eyebrow at him and the violet eyes fixed him with a cool, unimpressed look. But there was more there, curiosity, and maybe a little bit of uncertainty.

“Hardly a good first move, Valdo. Don’t you know the best way to win a woman back is to get her friends on your side?” she asked. Valdo scoffed and the bottle green eyes looked askance. His slender fingers slid the headphones off of his hair, curls springing back in place without so much as a dent. He crossed his arms in front of him, creasing the lines of his blazer.

“I’ve long given up any hope that you lot will ever be on my side,” he replied, his tone a blend of warm anger and icy disdain.

“It’s not like you to give up,” Yennefer remarked. Valdo considered her words carefully. She was a woman of few words but she was sharing them with him which had to mean something. Aevryn wouldn’t send her friend to speak for her, she was braver than that. And, he hoped, she cared for him enough to face him if she was going to end things forever. But hope was a dangerous thing and he’d been made a fool for it before.

“As charmed as I am to see a one-time rival and eternal thorn in my side, tell me what you’re doing here or tell Aevryn she can deliver her messages herself,” Valdo said, the words bolder than he felt, his heart beating rapidly at the thought of Yennefer walking out and taking all hope of a future with Aevryn with her.

“I’m not here for Aevryn,” Yennefer said and then reconsidered and said, “Actually, I am a bit. I wanted to meet with you first. She didn’t want me to, for what it’s worth, but I insisted.”

“It’s rare to meet someone more stubborn than Aev,” Valdo smirked.

“And yet, here I sit,” Yennefer replied, matching him smirk for smirk. He nodded in acknowledgment and gestured for her to continue, eyes slipping to the window every few moments, looking for a glimpse of mussed, rich brown hair.

“What makes you think that things will be different this time?” Yen asked, through with pleasantries.

“Because I’ve decided they will be,” Valdo answered simply.

“Oh well in that case, cheers,” Yennefer said sarcastically, her face unimpressed. Valdo swallowed a litany of crass, passive aggressive responses and leaned forward, emerald eyes meeting violet.

“I was a fucking idiot. I made a mistake. No, not a mistake, a choice. A really shitty choice that I have spent years processing. I went to therapy,” he said this last point with emphasis and Yennefer had to admit (well, not aloud) that it was a good sign. “I have been dealing with the consequences of my actions and I’m making new ones. I’m not going to pretend I’m some fuckin’ saint or that I’m a new man because frankly, darlin’, Aev liked the old one just fine. But I’m a better man in a lot of ways.”

“So you talked to a shrink and had to deal with some consequences and now you think you’re worthy of her,” Yennefer said.

“Of course I’m not bloody worthy of her, who could be?” Valdo exclaimed.

“Well on that we’re agreed,” Yennefer replied, though she couldn’t deny that it was what she’d been hoping he’d say. She knew it was time to uphold her end of the agreement with Aevryn and go get her from the little café across the street she’d posted up at, but she had more questions and she wasn’t going to get a chance like this again.

“You’re a pretty fucked up individual, all things considered. How do you do it?” Yennefer asked.

“What? Be fucked up? Like most things in my life, it’s mostly inherited I s’pose.”

“No, loving. How do you still love her and trust yourself with loving her? How are you not scared all the time?”

Yennefer wasn’t usually this open but Valdo was also probably the only person in the world where she could say this without it getting back to Geralt or Jaskier. And, despite his many, many flaws, he knew how to keep his mouth shut. Valdo thought about her question, eyeing her carefully but holding back the many questions of his own.

“Honestly?” he said, “I am scared. But I also know that I can either be honest with myself about what I want or I can keep trying to drown myself in distractions while the yawning pit of self-hatred that’s been eating me from the inside out grows larger.”

“Well when you put it that way it sounds easy,” Yennefer said.

“Isn’t it?” Valdo asked with a shrug. Yennefer looked back up into his eyes and held his gaze for a silent moment, considering what he’d said and what could happen next. She rose suddenly and nodded briskly.

“Thank you, Valdo,” she said, and walked out without another word.

-----

“I’m just saying it doesn’t make sense,” Jaskier argued, gesturing wildly as he had been for the last hour since Yennefer and Aevryn had gone for some alone time, “You think it’s odd too, right? You must!”

The question as directed at Geralt who grunted noncommittally, avoiding Jaskier’s eyes. You recaptured one of Jaskier’s hands in your own and gave it a comforting squeeze.

“Babe it’s been a weird few days, maybe they’re just getting their nails done,” you said. You looked to Win for support and she looked between you and Jaskier with an uncomfortable, blank expression.

“I mean it’s definitely possible,” she muttered, slipping an earbud in to try and drown out the welling conflict around her.

“Maybe Yennefer is the one who needed the time alone,” you offered.

“No, Aev was crying the other day. Crying, Y/N! She always tells me when something’s wrong and that means it can only be because of that rat bastard Valdo Marx,” Jaskier’s mouth curled into a disgusted grimace as he spat out the name. “But why would Yen be helping? She hates him as much as I do!”

“Maybe we should get something to eat,” you suggested, “Milwaukee has some good places, right Win?”

You sent the question your friend’s way but she was lost in her own world and didn’t hear you, leaving you floundering on your own. You looked to Geralt for help and he nodded before putting a hand on Jaskier’s shoulder.

“Jaskier, you need to eat. You get paranoid when you haven’t eaten.”

You shot Geralt a baleful look as Jaskier began to sputter and pulled his hand away from yours again to punctuate his angry rant with his arms but he still followed as Geralt led them off to find food.

-----

All at once, there she was.

Aevryn. Maybe, if he was lucky, his Aevryn.

She found him immediately, Yennefer having told her where to look though he was a hard man to miss. Even in a crowd she could find him. The caramel colored hair had been swept to the side and the sea green eyes sparkled with excitement. He rose from the table and crossed over to her. She held out a hand as he threw open his arms and they laughed awkwardly.

“Oh this is stupid,” she said, and moved into the hug. He embraced her so tightly she struggled to breathe but the pain was lost in the warm, familiar scent of his cologne. He screwed his eyes shut tight and took his first, full breathe in months. When they pulled back, reluctantly, she wiped a tear out of her eye.

“Stupid,” she laughed nervously again, moving to take a seat which Valdo quickly moved out for her. Once she’d been seated he took his place again and they just looked at each other, hearts beating a staccato duet. She placed her hands on the table and she tapped on it with her fidgety fingers. Valdo placed a hand over hers and it fit perfectly, as it always had.

“So I listened to it,” she began. She noted the way he sat up in his seat and tried to force his face calm but the forest hued eyes were pleading as he nodded, waiting for her to continue.

“It was a fucking mean thing to do,” she said. His face fell and he shook his head.

“Aev what do you… No, I wasn’t trying to…”

“You knew exactly what you were doing,” she insisted. Her words were severe but she didn’t look angry, her eyes holding none of the heartbreak or malice he was unfortunately familiar with.

“Did you, uh, did you listen to all of it? Did you hear Tom-”

“I’ve listened to it 12 times since it released. Half of them crying,” she said. Valdo’s eyes scanned her face helplessly, the whole plan falling apart in his grasp as he held her hand tighter.

“Aevryn I swear to Christ I-”

She pressed a finger to his lips, stilling his words. She felt his tongue lick gently against her finger between the slightly parted lips and she shivered. Her eyes sought his and held the gaze intently.

“It was beautiful,” she whispered. His face lit up beautifully and Aevryn felt herself slip just a little bit more in love with, awed that there was more room to fall for someone who had held her heart since she was a child.

“Aevryn I meant every single word, I l-”

“Oh I think the fuck not.”

-----

Geralt had headed to the best reviewed place in the area, determined to get something in Jaskier’s mouth so he would stop talking for a moment. He didn’t see Yennefer hurry out of the café across the street calling to them. He didn’t think anything of the way Jaskier tensed and then ran for the door. Only when he heard Jaskier yell did he realize what must be happening.

“Fuck,” he bit out, hurrying after his friend.

Jaskier stood before Aevryn and Valdo, chest hurting with all of the emotions it held. Aevryn looked guilty, the picture of someone caught in the act while Valdo sneered at Jaskier, clutching Aevryn’s hand possessively which only fueled Jaskier’s rage.

“Jaskier… please let me explain,” Aevryn began. To other patrons in the shop it looked like a salacious lover’s quarrel, a woman caught two-timing her lover. You reaching for Jaskier’s hands trying to pull his attention away and calm him down only made it look more exciting and more than a few people took out their phones to start snapping photos. A server hurried over.

“Hi, sir? Sorry, you’re going to need to please keep it down,” they asked. Jaskier’s body was taut like a snake ready to strike but he forced himself to be polite to the lady. He glowered at Aevryn who stood.

“Aevryn!” Valdo cried, losing the calm exterior he’d tried so desperately to cling to as she slipped from his hands.

“I’ve got to talk to Jaskier, I’ll be right back, you stay here,” she said, giving him a small smile before turning back to Jaskier who made a disgusted sound and charged back out the door, nearly knocking over Yennefer in the process. You’d heard of people being beside themselves but you’d never seen it depicted so clearly or painfully as Jaskier who paced and seemed so overwhelmed by anger and hurt that he struggled to breathe.

“Jaskier please,” Aevryn began, tears already coming to her eyes as she tried to approach her friend.

“Don’t,” he bit out, “Just don’t… fucking stand there and try and tell me to be calm or to listen or hear that he’s better. Jesus fucking Christ, Aevryn, what does it take?”

“Jaskier,” Yennefer tried cutting in but he wheeled on her, blue eyes flashing with white hot rage.

“Don’t,” he snarled at her and for once Yennefer backed down, stepping aside where Geralt wrapped an arm around her waist and she let it stay there, reassured by his presence.

“How could you do this?” Jaskier asked, “You know what, no, don’t answer because frankly there is nothing you could say to make it ok.”

“I’m not an idiot, Jaskier, and I don’t need you to try and make me feel like one,” Aevryn argued.

“I don’t think you’re an idiot but, fuck, I must be!” Jaskier argued, “I mean, what, how long has this been going on? And I didn’t know! I knew something was wrong but I had no fucking clue. What other secrets are you hiding from me? Were you ever not keeping secrets or have you been lying to me our whole friendship?”

“Jask…” Aev couldn’t form the words, overwhelmed by the pain in her friend’s eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t mean any of this… I just…”

“Aevryn?”

Jaskier’s eyes darkened to pure anger again as Valdo walked out to the little alleyway you’d all congregated in behind the café. He was looking at her anxiously, worried by the tears in her eyes, so worried he made a beeline for her and didn’t think to glance at Jaskier whose body coiled and launched, striking so hard he knocked them both over. Amid the scuffle he could hear you screaming and feel Geralt’s hands try and seize him but Valdo managed to grapple him and shove him up against a wall, getting in two good punches, one directly into Jaskier’s mouth and the other in his ribs. Jaskier roared and seized Valdo around the throat, constricting his breathing long enough that the man stopped punching and then released him, forcing him onto the ground as he began to strike, punch after punch, heedless of anything but the need to vent all of the anger and pain that had welled in him over the years. Years spent staring at Valdo Marx’s smirking, taunting, heartbreaking face that had the sheer nerve to do it again. And again. And again. All without any way to stop him.

“Jaskier stop!” Aevryn cried, fighting against Yennefer who held her back from joining the fray, “Jaskier please I love him!”

Jaskier’s fist, bruised and bloodied, stilled in the air. Geralt pulled Jaskier off of Valdo who groaned and tried to sit up. Aevryn ran to his side, gently touching his bleeding temple and taking in his eye that was already purpling. There was blood staining his clothes but when she looked back at Jaskier she saw it was his. Valdo’s eyes were trained on Aevryn alone, unaware of anything but the words she’d said, echoing in his mind.

“Jesus, Jaskier,” you gasped as you eyed the blood running from his mouth, one hand holding his ribs. Jaskier stared at Aevryn and she saw the broken look in his eyes.

“You love him,” he repeated, voice raspy from his screaming, sounding tired and defeated. Aevryn nodded, tears filled with regrets and, she hated herself the most for this, some relief. It was out. Not as she’d planned or hoped, but it was all out there. Jaskier nodded, wordlessly, eyes falling to the ground. Yennefer walked to stand by Aevryn and Jaskier looked up to meet her eyes as well. They were unapologetic, but not without regret. He nodded again and scoffed, wincing immediately after and clutching his side.

“We need to get you to the hospital,” Geralt said, eyeing Jaskier’s ribs nervously.

Jaskier wordlessly walked away, not giving a second look back as you and Geralt helped him out to the curb to find a taxi, Roach parked too far away to walk with him. Win stared at you, stunned, and you exchanged confused, hopeless looks. She looked back over at Aevryn who was trying to help Valdo stand.

“Win, go find Roach and drive her to the hospital,” Yennefer said, helpfully offering your friend something concrete to do that didn’t force her to pick a side. She nodded gratefully and set off.

“Did you mean it?” Valdo asked, standing now as Aevryn winced at the black eye.

“Of course I fucking meant it,” she cried. He smiled and pulled her into an embrace that was meant to be celebratory but she only sobbed harder and even he wrapped her up tight, rocking her slightly and humming a comforting song the way he had years before.

“I’m going to make this alright,” he promised, “I love you and you love them, and I’m going to make it right for you. You’ll see, Aev. I can’t do everything but I’d do anything for you.”

-----

Sun had long since set but Jaskier stood in the same position he had since he’d been discharged, one bruised rib and a suspected concussion later. They’d parked Roach back in the same spot they’d arrived to town and he stood outside of the van, arms crossed, staring into the distance. Geralt drummed a restless beat against the steering wheel with his fingers and you sat cross-legged on your seat, feeling helpless. You’d tried to get Jaskier to sit in the van with you but he’d insisted that he wait right where he was. Win was in the far back of the van, headphones in, trying hard to stay above the waves of anxiety and pain that swarmed her from all sides. S

“Jaskier,” Geralt said.

“No.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt repeated, sighing deeply, “She isn’t coming.”

“You don’t know that,” Jaskier replied stubbornly, pale blue eyes fixed on the horizon.

“Babe…,” you began.

“Y/N, don’t, I know my friends. They’re going to be here. Yennefer promised… she said… they’re going to be here,” Jaskier insisted, but you heard his voice crack.

“Aev texted me,” Win said, her voice small but carrying in the terse silence. Jaskier stiffened and you looked hopefully at your friend who bit her lip as she took a shaky breath to continue. “Um, her and Yennefer are getting a ride with Valdo. She said they’ll meet up with us when the van is fixed.”

You reached out an arm to rest on Jaskier’s shoulder but he stayed stock still.

“No,” he said, “No, they’re coming. I know they are.”

You and Geralt exchanged sorrowful looks and didn’t say anything more. Jaskier stood for another three hours as night bled into the early hours of the morning. When the first stretch of dawn began to reach across the sky, he climbed into the car wordlessly and leaned against the side of the van, curling into himself as well as tightly as he could. You closed the door behind him and Geralt stirred Roach to life, briefly waking Win who had fallen asleep. She looked up hopefully and when she saw your tear-filled eyes she reached out a hand and took yours, holding it tight the whole rest of the way as Jaskier stared out the windows, seeing nothing.

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Queue Update - 04.06.20

Reader Requests

Jaskier Doppelganger (fluff)

“we’re in a scary situation and I accidentally grabbed your hand but now I’m not letting go” with Jaskier (fluff)

Jaskier catches Yen and Reader doin’ it (smut)

Yen teasing Reader (smut)

You realize Jaskier has feelings for Geralt (Smangst bc I’m gonna make it a throuple in the end I’m sorry I tried to just do angst but why 1 when you can 2 #bimath)

Cockwarming + Thigh riding with Geralt (smut)

Feral!Jask jealous of the way you look at Geralt (smut)

Punk!AU Jask and Reader get tattoos after Sam is born (fluff)

Punk!AU Jask proposes/Reader announces pregnancy (fluff)

Fae!Jaskier Sex Shenanigans (smut)

Gilded Age!AU meet cute at train station, Jaskier x Reader (fluff)

Reader confesses love for Jaskier with song (fluff)

Other Projects

Road Trip:Punk!AU part VII (plotting)

Werewolf!Jaskier (plotting)

Shakespeare Retelling Series (plotting)

Poetry Inspired Series (plotting)