#Rudbeckia is a good sister

[bottleblondefeelingconned]

Thinking about og Rudbeckia again. Was Freya a kind person originally, or was snake like the one we know. Was og!Ruby bullied and harassed everyday too, with Freya pulling conniving tricks to isolate the original from everyone? Was the original Ruby more angry, more resentful of everything? Everyone expected her to act like a Borgia, did anyone believe in her at all?

Did she try to be good and kind, but Izek never listened to her like he does now in the current timeline? We know he loved her, but could the original Ruby ever really trust that love? She's used to being hit by the hand that also feeds her.

The original Ruby loved Izek, but didn't trust him. The original Izek loved Ruby, but didn't trust her.

If she can't be as good as the Omertas, if nothing she does will ever make her good in their eyes, why not embrace the ruthlessness and cruelty of the Borgias? If she fundamentally feels like she will never be embraced by heaven, why not willingly walk into hell? Absolution, salvation and redemption never came to her. Did she believe that Cesare robbed her of her purity? That because of his touches she was fundamentally damned, while he still got to be holy? The God she worships has rejected her, abandoned her. Did the crosses she wore burn her skin that she felt was tainted? Did the gazes from the holy statues and paintings felt all-too-knowing?

Ruby was damned and dirty, and Izek was good and moral. As much as she loved him, she must have hated him too. He could have saved her but he never tried too. How disgusting did she feel next to him, while he shined with goodness he never offered to her. He couldn't save her but he couldn't let her go. A man too much like his father.

Did she like Ellen? Were they friends? Ruby says she killed her, but was she telling the truth? Did she mourn her death? Or did she feel inferior? The beloved daughter and sister beloved by the dukedom, her position of the lady of the house stolen by a disgusting Borgia. Was Ellen frightened of her, the madness and despair in Ruby's eyes all too familiar of her mother's? Ellen would have always taken Freya's side, did she help her usurp Ruby's position? Did Ruby know Ellen could only be a false ally, their positions and personalities too different to be anything but threatening to the other?

We don't know anything about her either. She's only been a dream, a mirage.

Her dress is bright red and low cut. Did she twist Cesare's sin into herself? "I'm someone so desirable I can even tempt the son of the Pope." Would she rather be villain then victim? Someone that can even make holy men sin, so don't treat her lightly. The more she tried to protect herself, the more isolated she became.

Until the end, there wasn't a single person on her side.

[solarpunkani]

The Lost Doll - A Short Story

To say that Arrden was in trouble didn’t even begin to describe his situation right now. He was screwed, utterly screwed, in deep doo doo. Deep.

He’d lost track of his little sister’s favorite doll again, a third strike on his record for being responsible. Not only that, but he’d lost it out in the city--where he and his sister weren’t even supposed to be in the first place! There was no way he would be able to explain himself to Mom and Dad without getting himself in trouble!

So there was only one solution. He’d have to go back out there and hunt it down, before either of them noticed it was gone.

“Arry! I want my dolly back!” his sister whined, but Arrden quietly shushed her.

“If you stay quiet, I’ll go get it and bring you some sweets!” he said.

Daisy hummed, her lip poking out into a powerful pout as she crossed her arms. “...gimme good sweets. From Junebugs!”

“Junebugs?!” what was he supposed to barter to get some of Junebugs’ candied fruit?! He was already pushing it just going out again, let alone bringing something to trade! “I can’t get anything from Junebugs, how about Missy Anne’s?”

Daisy responded by tilting her head back and yelling. “Daddyyy!”

“Okay, okay, okay! I’ll get you something from Junebugs, just don’t tell Dad yet!”

Daisy harrumphed, but nodded. At that same moment, their Dad came rushing up the stairs. “What’s going on up here, is everything alright?”

“I want uppies!!” Daisy beamed, reaching up with her little arms. Their dad laughed and reached down to pick her up, holding her close to his chest with a squeeze that made her giggle. While he was distracted, Arrden hurried downstairs to grab his bag and his skateboard.

“Hey, Arrden! Where’re you going?” his father called out.

Arrden froze in his tracks. Shit. “Uh! I wanted to go hang out at the library, maybe get more books!” That wasn’t entirely a lie--he did have to go to the library to check if they’d left the doll there during their earlier visit. And he did want to check out a book too.

“Alright, but can you get me some eggs from the Ferns on your way back? We’ll need them for breakfast tomorrow, bring her a few cuttings from the garden!”

Score! If he could take a few extra flower cuttings, he might be able to trade something for some Junebugs! “Okay, Dad! I won’t be too long, promise!”

Before his dad could ask any more questions, Arrden slipped out of the front door and hurried into the garden, picking the trimmers and two glass jars from the gardening table to set to work. Calendulas, rudbeckias, zinnias, and a few stems of milkweeds all found their way into the jar, which he placed into his tote as he slung it over his shoulder. He hopped over the fence, onto his skateboard, and was cruising out towards the rest of the town in a matter of moments. 

Gliding through the town on his board, he took a moment to appreciate it all--it was home, so he was used to it, but it really was so pretty. In school they’d been studying how things were just a few decades ago--an era he remembered faintly, but had no real fond memories for. He was younger than Daisy is now when their town started being remade into what it was, solar panels on every rooftop, gardens big and small bursting out of every crevice one could fit dirt into. Stained glass adorned practically every building, murals of suns and moons and plants and animals on any blank wall that wasn’t already overgrown with vining flowers. Maybe it was because he was old enough to ride around on a skateboard by himself, but things felt… smaller, than they did before. On bad days, it could be stifling, but on good days it was cozy. Most days were good days.

It didn’t take too long to get to the market plaza. He didn’t even have to look up to know he’d arrived, the light changing to pinks and oranges and yellows as he passed under the mess of fabric tarps overhanging the entire square. There were quite a few stands out today, some offering little baubles made of recycled plastic, or carved wooden statues of deer and bears and foxes, and the instrument maker was even offering a new guitar or two. Ooh, he’d have to save up for that. If he could prove himself responsible enough to maintain a spinning wheel, his friend Azzy had a few sheep, and they were always willing to give him wool to spin into yarn. Or better--if he could keep bees, to make honey and beeswax, that made for good trades.

Being responsible enough was the one thing he probably wasn’t today, since he’d lost his sister’s doll. 

Technically, Daisy had lost the doll, but it was still Arrden’s fault because he’d taken her out of the house while Dad was away at book club earlier. Oh, they’d explored the town together, gone everywhere Arrden knew she enjoyed, to cheer her up. She’d been stuck inside for days now--battling a nasty ear infection--but now that she was feeling better, she’d been begging to be let outside. Their parents said to wait just a few more days, to make sure she’d truly beaten it. Unfortunately, Arrden was weak to Daisy’s puppy dog eyes, and had whisked her away to explore all their favorite stomping grounds, getting her back home just before their dad got home. And apparently she’d dropped the doll somewhere on their adventures, and now here he was.

He stopped by the seed stand--Daisy always loved looking at the mystifying colors of Mister Peters’ glass gem corn, or reaching into the big bags of beans and letting them run through her little fingers. They’d definitely stopped here today--after all, Mister Peters’ son Kendall was working the stand, and he and Arrden had always been buddies.

“Hey, man!” Kendall beamed, reaching over the desk to tousle Arrden’s afro. Arrden mock-whined and nudged the taller boy off of him, rolling his eyes before sending him a grin. “You back again already? Did your Ma tell you to pick up more flower seeds? We're almost out of Liatris for the season.”

“Nah, it’s Ma’s working season. She doesn’t get back home till just before sunset. Did you see my sister’s doll anywhere around here? She lost it while we were out,” Arrden asked.

Kendall tutted at him, bead-adorned dreads swishing back and forth as he shook his head. “C’mon, man, you’re never gonna get those hives if you keep losing your sister’s stuff.”

“It’s not my fault she keeps dropping it! If she cares about it so much, you’d think she’d keep track of it better!”

“Yeah, and if you cared about getting those hives and that spinning wheel, you wouldn’t keep riskin’ it by taking her out with it.”

“Like she goes anywhere without it!”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Kendall arched a brow at him. 

Arrden sighed. “I know, I know. But Daisy was so sad! I couldn’t not take her with me!” 

“Well, let’s just hope you get that doll back. Oh! Mrs. Fern wants me and Dad to plant a garden near her chicken coops next week, Dad said I can invite any friends I want. Next Saturday, nine AM, her place?”

“...won’t the chickens just eat all the seeds again, like they did last year?” 

“Oh, of course they’re going to, but Mrs. Fern’s gonna make us a big apple pie for all our hard work, and I know you want in on it.”

“You should’ve lead with the apple pie, man, I’m in! But I’ve gotta get going, text me about it later?”

“You know it! Good luck on finding that doll!”

Arrden left him with a final wave, hopping back onto his skateboard and wheeling off further into the market place.

Unfortunately, no other stands had his sister’s lost doll. He tried every other one they’d gone to--the bead and jewelry stand, the stand for the Watters’ farm selling baby chicks and a lamb, the one for the new artist that had moved to town a few months back--no such luck. 

The next best bet was the big, round, blue and yellow tent at the end of the marketplace. It was where Luna sang songs to entertain kids while their parents browsed the wares at the market in peace. It was never really Arrden’s thing growing up--he preferred poking his nose into his parents’ business, seeing what they were getting and running around making trouble for himself. But his sister loved the tent and ol’ Luna, and would beg to stop there even when it was just the two of them. So he ducked inside to check the seats.

Fortunately, Luna wasn’t performing right now. Instead, there was a younger girl, just tuning up the guitar in anticipation for the next batch of kids. She looked up with a bright smile as he stepped in. “Hello, there! Anything I can help you with?”

Arrden froze. That was not Old Lady Luna. That was Pretty Girl Sasi, the girl who sat in front of him in class. He definitely didn’t have a crush on her! Absolutely not, no matter how much his friends insisted he turned red as a tomato around her, he did not have a crush on her! She was just. Really pretty! And he didn’t know how to handle that!

“O-Oh, Sasi! I--I wasn’t expecting--I thought--Old Lady Luna--” he stammered, feeling his neck get hot.

“Luna’s my aunt, I’m helping her for the weekend in exchange for more guitar lessons.” Sasi said, standing to her feet and brushing long, silky black hair over her shoulder. “I’m sure she’d love to teach more people, if you wanted to do lessons together sometime?”

Honestly, Arrden had never had much interest in learning guitar, but now he was half-tempted to trade the flowers in his bag for that pretty new guitar at the instrument seller’s stand. “Oh! Uh--I--maybe! I’ll see if I can--ah--” his brain went numb for a second, and Sasi sent him an amused look as he briefly opened and closed his mouth like a fish. Wasn’t he here for something? Right! “Have you seen my sister’s doll? I--my sister was here earlier, and she lost her doll, and I dunno if it might’ve been here or… y’know. Y’know?”

Sasi giggled, making her way over to a basket tucked away to the side. “Well, I dunno what her doll looks like specifically, but my aunt always puts stuff kids leave behind in this basket. Wanna check?”

Arrden nodded and got to his knees, sorting through the basket a moment. There were a handful of dolls there--some little brown bears or orange foxes, others moreso resembling people, but none of them were Daisy’s little flower doll. He had to wonder if there were tons of brothers ripping and running around town trying to find their little siblings’ dolls today, or if these had been left for months and years with no owner. It made him a bit sad, and for a moment he missed his own little childhood doll, even though Black Cat still sat safely on a shelf in his room.

As he stood back up, Sasi frowned. “It’s not there? I hope you find it.”

“I hope so too. I’ve got a few more places to check, though, so fingers crossed!” Arden sighed, adjusting the strap of the bag on his shoulder. Sasi grinned, bangles clinking as she held up her own hands with their fingers crossed, prompting him to do the same. “Oh! My friend Kendall’s dad is planting flowers at Mrs. Ferns’ chicken coop next Saturday at nine, you’ll probably wanna ask him to be sure, but I think it’d be cool if you came! We’ll get apple pie after, too!”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude…” 

“I don’t think you’d be intruding! I mean--I’ll text Kendall and ask if you can come, but I doubt he’d say no!”

Sasi awkwardly rubbed her arm, her shoe nudging a divot into the soft dirt under them. “I’ve never really gardened before… I don’t think I’ve planted a seed since I was little, none of my family’s ever been good at it…”

“Oh! Between me and Kendall, you’ll be a pro in no time!”

“Then… maybe I’ll try it. Oh, I think my mom wanted to ask your dad to plant some moonflower seedlings by our gazebo… unless you wanted to come and do it sometime? We could trade numbers and figure out a time…”

Butterflies danced in Arrden’s stomach as he whipped his phone out of his pocket. “Y-Yeah, sure, let’s trade numbers--” unfortunately, he whipped it out so fast the phone flew out of his hand and plopped into the dirt by Sasi’s feet. The girl laughed a bit, bending down to get it and offer it back to him, and he smiled sheepishly. “Th-Thanks, Sasi…”

In just a few moments, the two had exchanged numbers and sent the customary ‘hey this is Arrden’ or ‘Hi this is Sasi’ texts, well on their way to expanding their friendship. Sasi even watched him leave from the opening of the tent, waving him goodbye as he skated away.

Arrden found himself humming a love song all the way to the pet store.

Right, he and Daisy had come here for cat food! After all, Arrden’s crime today hadn’t been leaving the house, but leaving the house with Daisy. He’d stopped to grab food and a new toy for their housecat, Shadow. Daisy had wanted to come along to see the adoptable puppies the Lees had raised, all ready to herd sheep on some other farmer’s land. Even though they didn’t have a farm, the puppies were still little fluffy bundles that Daisy just couldn’t resist playing with. However, he did send a few pics to Azzy, and had received some heart eye emojis in response. Who knows? Next time he went to their place, they might have a new bundle of joy bouncing around the fields. 

When he saw the puppies playing tug of war, his heart sank, but he instantly relaxed when he realized they were playing with a bundle of rope and not a little doll. Arrden doublechecked the rest of their outdoor pen, and even tried to peek into their dog house, before he decided ‘no way it's in there’ and instead made his way inside.

The shelves were well stocked with a variety of foods for a variety of animals, and all kinds of toys. There were even a few birds on display inside--he paused a moment to look at the fluffy-looking pigeons, and gently pat a couple of peachicks through the gaps in their cage. Tanks, leashes, training manuals, and treats were also available--a vast array of homemade cookies and biscuits with all kinds of berries and faux icing. ‘Human made, dog approved,’ the sign above them said. He’d been dared to eat one, a few years back, and truth be told he understood why the dogs liked them. Personally? Arrden wasn’t a fan.

He perused the entire store in search of his sister’s doll, double and triple checking the toy shelves to make sure he hadn’t missed it. God forbid, someone had traded for it thinking it was one of Mx. Miller’s handmade toys and already tossed it to the hounds. He tried to put that thought out of his mind.

After making one final loop around the store, Arrden approached the desk, where Mx. Miller was working on sewing up another pet toy out of scraps of old clothes and hand spun fabric. Right, a lot of people would donate their old and worn clothes to the shop so they could find new life as a beloved toy. At least, when they didn’t donate them to a teen hoping to learn embroidery or make new patches for their jacket. In that sense, Arrden and Mx. Miller were staunch competitors in the last life of beloved fabric market, if his patch-adorned vest had anything to say. 

“Hey, there! Can I help you with anything?” Mx. Miller asked as they looked up from their work. 

“Hi, uhm… my sister lost her doll earlier today, and I was wondering if you saw it by any chance? It’s about this big--” Arrden cupped his hand a little over a foot above the top of the counter. “--and looks like a white and yellow daisy, with green arms and legs.” 

Mx. Miller scrunched their nose--they must’ve seen all kinds of toys over the course of the day--and eventually shook their head. “I don’t remember seeing a doll like that. But if anyone brings one like that in, I’ll keep it in lost and found, alright?”

Arrden nodded quietly. “Okay! Thank you, Mx. Miller.” Arrden made his way out of the store, pausing a moment to ruffle one of the puppies’ heads a bit as it poked its head over the baby cage before he hopped back onto his skateboard and made his way off. 

No luck at the market, no luck at the music tent, no luck at the pet shop… his last hopes were the library, Mrs. Kitterling’s jewelry shop, or just… out in the street somewhere, stepped upon and dirty. Or worse. Someone had seen it and taken it, and Arrden was thoroughly screwed. 

He couldn’t lose hope. He’d stop by the library, cross his fingers, hope to any power there was that he found it alright. 

He felt the path change under the wheels of his board as he turned onto the Aster Town Library’s walkway. It was still old cobblestone, with a few cushiony low-growing groundcovers poking between the tracks. Comfy for shoes--or those who preferred to walk barefoot, like Sasi’s family--but not so great for itty bitty skateboard wheels, so he hopped off the board and tucked it under his arm and walked the rest of the way. To either side of the cobblestone path, there were gardens--to his left, an expansive meadow of wildflowers, almost like the garden at home, and to his right was a small pond with an array of koi and all kinds of other fish, their scales glittering like tiny drops of sunlight under the water’s surface. Dotted across both landscapes were benches, for people to enjoy a drink and a book while taking in the perfumed scent of flowers, or listening to the gentle trickle of the pond’s small waterfall. He checked all the outside benches, but deep down he knew Daisy’s doll wouldn’t be out here. These sitting spots were great and all, but Daisy spent most of her time in other spaces. 

Arden entered the library and placed his skateboard on the designated skateboard shelf by the door, which already had a couple of other tenants taking up slots. They were all a similar color to his, but he knew he’d be able to grab the right one--his was custom painted with a big yellow sunflower, spinning wheels and bees along the edges, and a couple of stickers in the blank spaces. He’d done everything but paint his name on the bottom of the board to mark it as his. Plus, everyone else had their boards painted--one had a bright big zinnia flower, with suns and moons both on the horizon, while another had a ferocious looking bear painted on with a wolf howling at the moon.

“Back again already?” Arrden turned to see one of the librarians, Mx. Kingsley, waving at him from the front desk. “You already returned your books, if that’s what you’re here for.”

“It’s not! Well, I do want more books, but--my sister lost her crochet doll, and I’m retracing my steps to try and find it. Did anyone turn it in?”

Mx. Kingsley shook their head, frowning a bit. “No, I’m sorry, I don’t remember any dolls being turned in today. I’ll go check the Lost and Found, why don’t you go ahead and look around while you get your books?” 

“Sounds like a plan. Thank you, Mx. Kingsley!” Arrden beamed, before heading off deeper into the library.

The library had always been one of his favorite places. When he wasn’t helping his parents with the garden, or hanging out with his friends after school, you could probably find Arrden tucked away somewhere on library grounds. He knew this place like the back of his hand--if he ever applied to volunteer here, no doubt he’d be let in, but he wanted to have a little bit more freedom before leashing himself to a formal volunteer position. Nevertheless, he was here all the time, and his sister Daisy was also becoming fond of the place. As Arrden perused the shelves, selecting a few books on beekeeping and wool spinning as well as a few novels, he took a moment to enjoy the pure library vibes. Small potted herbs grew on the shelves, bundles of mint to be snacked on, while posters for new books and fliers for town events adorned walls and bulletin boards all across the space. Every book in here was well-loved, the smell of old books mingling with the herbs and making everything just… heavenly. There were plenty of bright, sunny windows--some clear, most brightly colored stained glass works of trees and flowers sprouting out of open books--all with plenty of cushioned benches and rocking chairs and bean bags sprawled out underneath them. A few of the study rooms had been borrowed, a couple of kids studying in one, while the other had a handful of adults using the chalkboard to talk about something-or-another. Even still, Arrden knew his sister’s doll wouldn’t be in any of these places.

Instead, he stepped out the side door, and directly into the warm and cozy greenhouse area. A mix of colorful panels greeted him with spots of light on the ground, casting everything into an almost magical light. There were two large tables that were perfect for studying and craft sessions, potted herbs and even a few fruit trees along the sides of the walls, but best of all--a big, comfy chair, tucked into a corner with its own shelf of books nearby. This was his favorite spot in the library--and his sister’s too. Arrden was half-tempted to just sink into the big chair, curl up with one of his books, and let the hours pass as he lost himself among the pages of a story. The library was open through the night, but he’d never been allowed to stay past eight, because apparently fourteen was still too young to be out on his own late at night.

But no, he was here for a reason. So instead of settling into the chair, he checked the cushions to make sure the doll hadn’t been lost in the depth of it, but came up with nothing but a healthy dose of lint-fingers. Daisy’s doll wasn’t sitting on any of the tables or shelves either, nor was it on the floor. This was the only room Daisy ever liked to hang out in, so the odds of it being anywhere else were… slim.

As he made his way back to the front desk, he passed a shelf of books and a title stuck out to him--something about playing guitar for beginners. Well… it wouldn’t be so bad to do a bit of reading, would it? He took the book and tucked it under his arm with the others. 

“Find the books you’re looking for?” Mx. Miller asked as Arrden arrived to the desk.

“I did! Did you find my sister’s doll?”

The look on Mx. Miller’s face told him everything he needed to know, but even still they shook their head with a soft sigh. “There aren’t any dolls in the lost and found, kiddo. I hope you find it!”

Arrden sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I hope so too.” He placed his books on the counter, and Mx. Miller began scanning them out of the system. 

“More books on beekeeping and spinning? I’d think you’d be one of the resident experts by now!” they said with a soft laugh.

“I just wanna make sure I know all I can! I still gotta get my parents to let me have the gear and all.”

“Oh, I remember when I was trying to start with my crafts. It took ages to convince my parents I could run a spinning wheel without hurting myself, but one day one of my friends let me try spinning with the wheel she had at her place. When I came back with a nice bundle of finished yarn I’d spun myself, and less bandages than they expected, my parents let me go get my own wheel the next day.”

Arrden hummed. “Maybe… but I dunno anyone with a wheel who’d let me borrow it.”

Mx. Miller arched an eyebrow, gesturing with their eyes towards the craft room in the back. “You know, I just dropped one of my older wheels into the tool space for borrow. How about the next time you come around, you put your skills to the test? I’ve got some hemp I’ve already combed out but I never ended up doing anything with it, I’m more than happy to let you learn spinning with it!”

“You’re for real?” Arrden beamed. “I’d love to! Oh, maybe I can come right after school Tuesday?”

“I’ll be sure to bring it in, then!” Mx. Miller slid the books across the counter back to Arrden. “You keep on reading until then, alright? I can’t help you with the bees, after all.”

“Okay! Oh, did you want anything for--I mean, I can maybe bring you some of my mom’s flowers, or--”

“Oh, no, no! We don’t have to trade for it! I just love helping young learners, you know? Now get going! You’ve still gotta find that doll!”

Arrden gasped and shoved the books into his tote. “Right! Thank you again, Mx. Miller!” at that, he rushed out of the door, grabbing his board and hopping onto it as he made his way down the path. He made his way to the last possible place the doll could be--Mrs. Kitterlings’ place.

On his way there, though, he found himself stopping, hopping off his skateboard a moment to look at a garden. It was a small pollinator garden, the likes of dozens around town--but this one was special to him. Not because of the big beautiful mural of butterflies and bees stopping to drink on a giant Asclepias syriaca on the brick wall overlooking it all--though common milkweed was one of his favorites for growing and trading. But because he remembered, ever so faintly, helping to start this place.

This garden--the East Avenue Pollinator Pod Garden--was one of the first Pollinator Pods to be planted in the town, about eight years ago now. He was a little kid then, and didn’t see the bigger picture--how this pod was the cornerstone that would help transform this town into the community he knew it as today. No, Arrden was just one of dozens of grubby little six year olds who were excited to get to play with dirt without getting into trouble for it that day. The adults had been working on clearing out the empty lot for ages by that point, transforming the place from some old tire-and-junk filled lot into safe, empty ground ready for planting. Not that Arrden was around to appreciate it when that work had started. He remembered following his mom around with a little plastic trowel, carefully digging where she instructed so she could help him gently place tiny little seedlings into the holes he made, or helping to scatter coreopsis, rudbeckia, and liatris seeds around while he played tag with Azzy and Kendall. His dad helped him try and properly pronounce the names, though there was still awhile where Asclepias were ‘Sleepies’ and rudbeckias were ‘Rudy-Becky’s’. And he remembered coming down with his dad every week during his mom’s working season to help water the plants and watch the life slowly fill into a place that had been so empty and barren for so long. He remembered coming to celebrate while his mom’s work group added a paved walkway, and a fountain, and a bench dedicated to a Mrs. Lianne Kitterling--the mayor at the time who had started the initiative to green up their spaces and their lives in the tiny town of Charlesville (a few years later, they’d rename the town Aster, and adopt the sunflower as their symbol). After this garden, so many more changes came--more solar panels and wind turbines floating high above the city, gardens spreading around every corner of the city, initiatives to clean the forest that bordered their town’s northern side and restore the prairie that used to be to its south. New people moved in, entranced by the changes taking place--like Sasi’s family, and his mom’s best friend Miss Dianne--and helping to shape the town into the colorful place it is now. 

It was honestly hard to remember what things were like before, but maybe that was because he was so little when the changes started happening. In second grade, they changed the school year--only four days a week, and about four hours for each day, instead of the five days and six hours that had apparently been standard for decades before. He couldn’t imagine how he’d manage school and his friends and hobbies if he was spending five days in school, let alone six hours each day! His Dad said before he was born, the town switched to seasonal work--everyone could choose to either work from January to June, or July to December, at any job. Before that, everyone worked practically every day of the year, which Arrden could scarcely imagine now. Maybe all the changes hadn’t started with this garden after all, but in Arrden’s mind, watching the garden grow was the first time he realized things were changing and growing--just like the caterpillars who called the garden home. The city was in its cocoon, shifting and changing, and even now his mother said its wings were only just now unfurling. 

“Hey, Arrden!” 

Arrden was snapped out of his thoughts by the familiar voice calling his name, and turned in time to see his friend Azzy--and their friend, Flare--riding up on their own boards. Azzy pulled to a--somewhat clumsy--stop and hopped off their board to come join him. “What’s up? Looking at the old garden?”

“I don’t think it's that old, Az. But, uh, guess I got lost in thought seeing it.”

“I feel you, man.” they took off their helmet, long blonde hair cascading to past their shoulders. “I was just here last week, getting a few volunteer hours in filling the empty gaps with more seedlings. Felt like I got rocketed back to the past for a moment. Crazy how well everything grew in, I coulda sworn we accidentally trampled half those seedlings but now look at it all!”

“You trampled the seedlings. And I wouldn’t be surprised if the adults came in a few days later to replace the ones you stepped on, but who knows.”

“Azzy and I were heading to the skate park,” Flare said, stepping over. “You want in?” 

“Ooh! Yeah, you should totally come hang! There’s even gonna be a band performing later tonight!” Azzy beamed, green eyes alight with excitement.

Arrden sighed. “I wish, but I still have that 8 o'clock curfew. And I lost my sister’s doll. I’ve gotta find it before my parents find out, or else I’m never getting that spinning wheel!”

“You lost Daisy’s daisy?! Aw, you’re in for it, man!”

He groaned. “I know!! If it’s not in Mrs. Kitterling’s place, I’m done for! I dunno where else it could be!”

“Fingers crossed for you, then! Oh, wait, Flare, you wanted to stop in Kitterlings’ too, right?”

Flare nodded. “My mom wants more decorations for her locs, and I might get some for when she twists my hair soon” she groaned. “I’m gonna miss the puffs, but having to wash and dry it all every week is driving me crazy!!”

“Aw, I don’t find it so bad! When it's my hair care day, I just plop on the couch with some snacks and turn on some good movies!”

“I wish it were that simple, my mom expects me to do so much to it! I might end up liking the twists better, who knows until I get them in? I think some bee charms’ll help!”

“Oh, you like bees?”

“Her dad’s the head of the beekeeper’s guild in town! He has, like, twenty hives!” Azzy beamed.

“Yeah, he’s been teaching me how to manage hives since I was ten! I have two hives of my own, too!”

“Ooh! I’ve been wanting to learn beekeeping for the longest while, but I haven’t gotten any hands-on experience yet!” Arrden said “I’ve checked out just about every book on beekeeping the library has, but my parents still don’t think I’m ready for a hive…”

“Why not join the guild, maybe apprentice for one of the beekeepers? I know my dad loves teaching hands-on!”

Arrden blinked dumbly. “I can join the guild if I don’t have any hives yet?”

“Dude! Yeah?! How are you supposed to take care of a real hive if you’ve never been near one before! Look--” Flare dug her phone out of her overall pocket. “We’ve gotta trade numbers, I’ll get you hooked up with Dad and maybe you can come over when he’s teaching Sasi Friday after school.”

“Sasi’s learning beekeeping?!”

“Yeah, I dunno, she didn’t catch me as the type but she told me last week that someone sparked her interest in it.”

“Oooh, wonder who that could’ve been?” Azzy laughed, nudging Arrden in the ribs. Arrden briefly remembered his last interaction with Sasi when Azzy was nearby, how they’d nudged him into talking about his interests and he wound up infodumping about bees all lunch period instead of eating. He’d thought he’d totally embarrassed himself! Was she actually interested in it now?

“Uh! Well! L-Let’s trade numbers, then!” Arrden handed Flare his phone, and Flare handed hers to him. They plugged in each others numbers and sent introductory texts and then handed back the phones. “So, you guys are going into Kitterlings?”

“Yeah, c’mon!”

Mrs. Kitterlings’ shop wasn’t very far--in fact, it was just a door away from the wall the pollinator pod was up against. The awning over the door and windows were a bit faded with age, the gold paint spelling out Kitterlings’ Jewelry chipping off the brick surface they were painted onto. Well loved, his mother had always said, the building’s well loved.

Well loved it was, indeed, with a lot of the ladies in town. Mrs. Kitterling was one of the only jewelers in town, but she made lots of items--asides from necklaces and bracelets, she also made earrings, rings, loc decorations, hearing aid jewelry, and more. This was on top of her supposedly growing some of the best roses and daffodils for barter. Or maybe the ladies liked her so much because she used to be the mayor, and had relinquished her position to instead let decisions be made by a panel of citizens a few years back? After she’d retired from politics, she’d opened the shop and almost immediately was the talk of the town all over again. 

Either way, Arrden wasn’t much of a jewelry guy--he found it got in the way most of the time. But he had been here earlier to get a new bracelet for his sister, with a little daisy charm made out of recycled metal. So the odds of him having lost the doll here were fairly high.

Flare almost immediately got distracted by the loc decorations on display, little burlap baggies full of gold and silver ones on the shelf underneath, but Azzy accompanied him to the front desk. Mrs. Kitterling was talking to another woman--Mrs. Deere, one of the kindergarten teachers--about placing an order for a custom pair of earrings. Today, Mrs. Kitterling was wearing hearing aid jewelry that made her ears look like butterfly wings, adorned with a mix of wire and recycled glass gems. 

Once Mrs. Deere had finished placing her order, Mrs. Kitterling turned to the two teens with a smile. “Ah, young Arrden and Azzy! A pleasure seeing you here again, how can I help you?”

“Hi, Mrs. Kitterling. I, uh, lost my sister’s doll, did you see it by any chance?” Arrden asked.

“It’s, uhm, real important!” Azzy added, trying to back him up. Arrden appreciated the effort, Az.

Mrs. Kitterling hummed, adjusting her glasses. “Why, what does the doll look like?”

“It’s got a green body, and a big daisy flower for the head! Right, Arrden?” Azzy turned to Arrden, who nodded quietly.

“About… eight inches big, I think. Something like that.” Azzy procured their sketchbook from their bag, and Arrden nodded again. “About that big!”

“I think I did see a doll like that! I bet it's in the lost and found box, give me just one moment!” Mrs. Kitterling smiled before wheeling herself to the back room.

Arrden beamed, bouncing up and down a bit with Azzy. “She has it, she has it! Maybe I can get that spinning wheel after all!”

“Then we can team up and start making a buncha yarn! And you can learn how to spin hemp and stuff too!” they said.

“Your sister’s gonna be pretty damn happy too, right?” Flare said.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! That doll’s practically her best friend, she’s gonna be stoked!” Arrden gasped suddenly. “Shit! I still have to stop by the Ferns’ place to get eggs for my dad! And I promised Daisy I’d get her some Junebugs!”

“You’re going to Junebugs?!” Azzy gaped. “Hope you brought something good to trade!”

“...I’ve got some flowers?” Arrden opened his tote a bit to show the collection of cut flowers he’d brought. They were just a smidge wilted from spending the past hour or so traveling around town, but still fine to trade, right?

“That might be enough for some of a batch, but I dunno…” Azzy reached over and pat him on the back. “Fingers crossed for you, man.”

“Oh, god, you don’t think it’ll be enough? I dunno what I’m gonna do…”

Azzy hummed, tapping their chin. “I think they like raising insects. Any of those milkweeds got eggs on em?”

“Probably a couple, the monarchs have been going crazy in the garden lately.” Arden took out the milkweed stems and peered closely at the leaves. “I swear, it’d be harder to keep them away than to attract them… oh! When’d this guy get here?”

“Ooh, yeah, I see a caterpillar too! Right there!” Azzy said, pointing to a completely different leaf from the one Arrden was looking at. They then spotted the rather large caterpillar Arrden was staring at. “Oh! Guess you’ve got two! You might be good, then!”

“Oh, thank god.”

It was about then that Mrs. Kitterling wheeled her way back out to the front desk, smiling brightly as she set a little doll on the counter. “Little Daisy was still wearing a little necklace, too! Did you still want that, little Arrden?”

Arden huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “No thank you, ma’am. Thanks for keeping Little Daisy safe!” It all made sense now--Daisy would always try and let her doll partake in activities, so she was probably taking necklaces off the shelves and putting them on the doll while Arrden handled the trade for the bracelet. Then she’d gotten so excited about putting her new bracelet on, she’d probably left the doll up on the counter. Then they had to hurry home to make it back before Dad finished with book club, and they’d forgotten it entirely… well, at least he had it back now! Just a few more errands, and he could bring it back before Daisy got impatient and told on him.

“Of course, of course! Was there anything else you needed?”

“Uhm,” Flare cut in. “I was actually wanting to trade for these bee decorations, if they’re available?”

“Oh, of course, Flare, dear! What did you have in mind?”

“I’ve gotta run a few more errands, but I’ll see you guys in school?” Arrden said, already backing up towards the door.

“Oh, definitely! See you!” Azzy beamed, waving goodbye as Arrden made his way out.

Truth be told, Arden was a bit fidgety the entire ride to the Ferns’ place. He was so relieved to have found the doll, but so anxious to let it out of his sight again, so he held it tight in his grip most of the way there. At least, until he decided he didn’t want to risk dropping it, so he’d put it in his tote bag to keep it safe. But with all the flowers and jars and books in his bag at this point, the doll kinda half-hung out of it, and so he’d get paranoid that it’d fall out so then he’d clutch it tight in his hand again… what was usually a maybe twenty minute ride from Mrs. Kitterlings to the Ferns’ stretched to about thirty just because of his indecisiveness.

It probably didn’t help that the roads up to the Ferns’ weren’t all too great. They lived out near the fields--not too far from Azzy, actually--but it was a route better suited for bikes and wagons. Dirt roads weren’t too good for skateboards, so Arrden ended up on foot a good chunk of the way. Not that he actually had to travel too too far up the road, as the Ferns kept a farm stand at the end of the long driveway to their house, stocked with cartons of the day’s fresh eggs from their amassment of chickens, quail, and pigeons. Early in the mornings, you could even find a few glass bottles of milk down in the cooler, or a few blocks of cheese and butter, or baskets of whatever fruit was in season up on the table. All you had to do was leave something of worthy trade in the exchange basket, like flower cuttings, or seeds, or handmade jewelry, or… anything, honestly. His dad said the Ferns practically begged people to take their eggs from them in the past, and yet every year they were more than eager to get more chicks to add to their flocks.

Arrden placed a jar of calendulas and rudbeckias on the trade counter, gently placing a carton of chicken eggs and a glass jar from the ‘givebacks’ counter into his bag. At least it gave him a safe place to sit Little Daisy--he imagined the doll felt quite comfortable, sitting nestled in a glass jar all to herself. After making sure everything was safe and secure, he made his way back down the dirt road, hopping onto his skateboard the instant it became a viable option.

The ride to Junebugs took him to basically the opposite side of town from his house back in the suburbs, not that it meant all too much to him. He liked the solitude he got from riding around on his skateboard, humming his favorite songs and feeling the wind in his hair. Still, the street lights might be coming on by the time he actually made it back. He’d worry about that later, for now he had to hurry to Junebugs before they closed shop for the day. Fortunately, he made it just in time--the sign still read ‘Open!’ on their front door. He enjoyed the perfumed scent of the serviceberry and apple flowers as he rode under their reaching branches on the pathway, the colorful pink blooms of native rhododendrons growing in bright surges around their trunks. Junebugs’ front garden was always a wonderful sight to see, though part of it was because being there almost always meant leaving with something sweet.

The front window counter was still open, so Arrden stepped off his board and made his way over to ding the little bell on the counter. “Just one moment!” a voice called out from further inside. Of course, Arrden didn’t mind waiting--waiting just meant getting to enjoy the scent of sugar syrups and honeys and glazes, the colorful sight of candied fruits and flowers alongside baked cookies and other pastries settled on drying racks. He could feel his mouth starting to water at just the thought of taking a bite of some. Unfortunately, he had to save all the candy for his sister, otherwise she’d definitely pitch a fit.

It didn’t take too long at all for Mx. Junebug to return to the counter. Their fingers were still stained with various colors from dealing with so many plants and candies, but they brushed it off on their apron and smiled. “Hey! I like your patches, kid. How can I help you?”

“Oh, uhm, thank you!! Uhm, do you have any candied strawberries? Or violets, maybe?”

Mx. Junebug leaned on the counter. “I have both right now, just finished a batch earlier today. What’re you wanting to trade for ‘em?”

“I! Have! Uhm…” Arrden set his tote bag on the counter and gently reached in to pull out the jar of flowers that remained--a handful of zinnias and milkweed, which fortunately the two caterpillars were still munching away on. “My mom grows lots of flowers! And these ones had some caterpillars on them! I heard you like them?”

Mx. Junebug’s eyes grew wide, and Arrden knew he had a good trade before they even said anything. “I will absolutely take those little buggies off your hand! Give me a moment to get you all set up, alright?” they said, taking the jar in both hands before disappearing further into the house. Arrden leaned against the wall by the counter, lazily watching bees fly around the serviceberry blossoms as he hummed under his breath. Ultimately, it didn’t take all too long for Junebug to come back with a small bioplastic baggie of candied strawberries and violets, tied off with a little bow of teal rope. “Here you go, kid! Hope you enjoy ‘em!”

“Thanks so much, Mx. Junebug!” Arrden grinned, waving before he hopped back onto his skateboard and made his way back onto the main streets.

The ride back home was fairly uneventful. For Arrden, at least. Things in Aster slowed down, sure, but they never came to a full halt. Even now, strings of fairy lights were beginning to turn on amongst the market’s awnings, powered by solar panels that had been collecting energy all afternoon. Though most stalls stayed closed through the night, the street instead became something akin to a giant party hall for those who preferred to be active through the night. Older teens and young adults danced to a collection of music--on one end of the street, there was a punk band performing, while on the other someone had brought a speaker and was playing party tunes from their phone. Arrden was half-tempted to join them--Kendall had been to a few night parties and said they were loads of fun--but if he didn’t get home soon, his parents would be upset. So he had to muster all his self-control to stay on his board and skate past the festivities, skate past the cozy-looking library that was all aglow as late night readers nestled into beanbags and chairs. Once he made it past the nightly temptations, though, it was just softly glowing street lamps until he made it back home.

As he stepped back inside, he was greeted with the sight of his mother resting on the couch with Daisy in her lap, watching TV. His dad was in the kitchen playing rock songs on the radio as he sang and cooked.

“Hey, Ma! Hey, Dad! I’m home!” Arrden beamed.

“Glad you’re home safe! Took you a bit longer than I was expecting, was everything alright?” his dad said, peeking out from the kitchen doorway.

“A bit, but I got sidetracked talking to some friends. Sorry I’m late, though.” he said, making his way into the kitchen to set his bag down before rushing back out to hug his mother. “Hey, Ma! How was work?”

“Oh, it was good! I was just telling Daisy about the new window we’re working on for the community center’s new makerspace! It’s going to be big and round, with a lovely big daisy!”

“Daisy! Like me!” Daisy beamed.

Arrden grinned and ruffled his sister’s hair. “Daisy, like you! I bet it’s gonna look great, Mama, you can build anything!”

His mother leaned over to give him a kiss on the forehead. “You’re a sweetheart, Arrden, you know that? So, what’re you gonna do tonight?”

“Uh, I checked out some books from the library that I wanna read! I left them in the kitchen, actually, let me go get them!” Arrden hopped up from the couch to duck back into the kitchen to scoop up his books--and Daisy’s doll, hopefully before his dad spotted it.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t so lucky--the doll was sitting in the jar, out on the counter beside his stack of books. He froze at the sight of it, and his father turned from the cooking to send him a look. Uh oh.

“Arrden? Let’s step outside a moment.” his father said, sliding a lid onto the simmering pasta sauce. “We need to chat.”

Uh oh.

Arrden nodded wordlessly, following his father out the back door into the backyard. There were a handful of fireflies flitting about as they made their way to the bench swing under the treehouse. His father leaned back in the seat, while Arrden sat hunched into his own shoulders. The silence was agonizing, as they sat out there, Arrden’s poor mind going wild with possibilities. He’d always tried to avoid getting into trouble with his parents, and he had a significant feeling that he was in trouble with his parents right now. Oh, he was never gonna get that spinning wheel at this rate, let alone a beehive!

“You went out to get Little Daisy back, didn’t you?” his father finally said, but he hadn’t looked away from the fireflies yet.

Arrden nodded quietly, then realized where his father’s eyes lay. “I-I did. I… wanted to bring it back before you realized it was gone, because…”

“Because you took Daisy out, even though we’d said she had to stay inside?”

“Y-Yes… I’m sorry, Dad, but she was being so sad, and I just wanted to cheer her up! We were safe the whole time, her ear didn’t even hurt at all, and--but… I shouldn’t have taken her, I’m sorry…”

His dad hummed. “I appreciate you looking out for your little sister, Arrden.” he let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “Lord knows my older brothers wouldn't've done the same for me at your age. And I understand why you wanted to find the doll before it became a larger issue. I’m not mad at you for trying to find the doll.” Arrden let out a sigh of relief, but paused as his father turned to him and held up a finger. “But. I’m a bit upset that you took Daisy out into the town without permission. What would you have done if she’d gotten hurt, or if her ear infection got worse while you were out?”

“...you’re right, Dad… does this mean I can’t have a spinning wheel…?”

His dad’s eyebrows arched, and his locs shifted as he tilted his head. “...not necessarily. I think you were irresponsible to do what I told you not to, but I can also see you were being responsible by looking for Little Daisy and owning up to your mistake. I do wish you would be more honest with me, though--I would have helped you look if you’d told me. And you wouldn’t’ve had to get bribe candy for your sister, either.”

“Did she tell on me?” Arrden pouted. “She promised not to if I got her candy.”

“I noticed she didn’t have the doll, and she was honest with me when I asked.” another hum from his dad. “...I’ll talk with your mother about letting you have a spinning wheel, but if you break our trust again, we’ll be pushing it back by at least a month. Alright?”

Arrden nodded. “Alright. Thanks, Dad.”

His dad laughed, ruffling his hair a moment as he stood to his feet. “You’re a good kid, Arrden. There’s worse things you could be doing than taking your sister out to play. Now, come on in when you’re ready, alright?”

“Alright, Dad.” at that, his Dad made his way inside, closing the door behind him, leaving Arrden sitting alone on the bench outside. He sighed, looking up at where the stars were beginning to peek their way through the darkening sky. He stayed there awhile, watching the fireflies and moths dance around the meadow, listening to the rustling of the wind in the tree’s branches, the gentle creak as he swung slowly back and forth on the swing.

He was a pretty good kid, huh?

-------------------------------------------

Special thanks to @1wren and @105ttt for beta-reading this fic for me!

[nancypullen]

It Was a Good Day

Okay, you’ll have to wait for the pics of the park and the chicken soup recipe because I just got home from having a GRAND time at The Foundry, Denton’s center for all things artsy and creative.  Tonight they hosted a fundraiser for Empty Bowls, a group that raises money for food related charities.  Basically, I paid to paint a bowl, they will keep it and fire it in a kiln, then I’ll pick it up at the Caroline County Culinary Arts Center and receive a free pint of soup.  The culinary center also runs Shore Gourmet where anyone can pop in for amazing baked goods, soups, prepared meals that you take and reheat, and more.  We’ve had several meals from Shore Gourmet and they’re always fabulous. So I made my donation, painted my bowl, had good conversation and lots of laughs with a bunch of ladies I don’t know, and came home feeling happy.  Bonus, in a couple of weeks I get my bowl back and some yummy soup.  I’m going to start signing up for more classes at The Foundry and maybe make some friends. It’s such a fun place, and usually people who gather to make art together are good souls.  I mean, the young woman running the event played DEAN MARTIN for background music.  It was like the universe telling me I’d found my spot.  So, hooray for today! In other news, look at these cute stickers I printed.  I’m going to get serious about finding a home for my cards and earrings and whatever else I make.  I can’t just keep making stuff and storing it.  I decided to just own my split personality, I’m thinking I’ll need a matching floral banner if I ever do crafts fairs.

As I was sitting at my desk today admiring those stickers, my eyes fell on this ornament. I made one for my sister and one for myself.  The “Our Hour” is a nod to the roller skating variety show we staged on our carport as kids.  It’s a shame you missed it. Lots of music, jokes, and very slow spins on skates.

  After taking the tree down I hooked it on a drawer knob of my desk.  It makes me smile.  When the grandgirl was here she noticed it and was studying it pretty closely.  I said, “That’s Grancy and Aunt Cathi when we were little girls.”  She responded, deadpan, “I recognized your hair.”   I can’t get a break. She asked me once, “Has your hair always been fluffy?”  Now she’s seen the proof.

Want to hear something exciting?  I’m going to Easton tomorrow to choose the color for the kitchen cabinets!!!

I’m going to disappoint some people by saying that I’m sticking with a cream color.  I mean, look at these!

Right now I’m eyeballing Benjamin Moore’s Winter Wheat, Navajo White, and Gentle Cream.   Originally I’d thought I’d get light granite, but I’m loving these darker counter tops.  I had dark counters in Tennessee and I don’t hate ‘em. I’d love something that looks like soapstone.  At this point I’ll take what I can get, but I’m dreaming and scheming.   And speaking of dreaming and scheming, I’m starting to draw out some garden plans for spring. It’s closer than you think!  I’m devoting my garden spaces to flowers and herbs - that’s it.  I can buy everything from tomatoes to watermelons on every corner here, I’m exiting the tomato growing business.  Basil, dill, thyme, oregano, mint...that’ll be in my garden, for sure.  I’m hoping to plug in mostly perennials around the house - rudbeckia and that sort of thing. It’s Maryland’s state flower - surely it’ll do well.

I’m being paged to watch a new Dateline with the mister, so I’ll wrap this up.  I’ll leave you with a quick shot of the path I walk at Martinak.  Even in the winter, with bare trees, it’s lovely.

Alright, see ya’ tomorrow. I’ll bring the chicken soup.  I’ve got the photos (not great ones) so I’ll get those in order and post the recipe.  I make a pot of this nearly every week and Mickey loves it.  I know that’s a pretty low bar, because he’ll eat anything I put in front of him, but he does request that I make it. I hope that you’re cozy and content on this January evening. I’m already in my flannel jammies and under a blanket, it might even be a popcorn night. Walkin’ on the wild side. Sending out love and hugs. Stay safe, stay well, stay warm.

Nancy

[manwhacrossoverfamilybecauseyes]

Moving on takes time

"Mother!"

"Ruby! Don't run so fast. You're going to get hurt!"

Rudbeckia throws herself into the arms of her mother. Diana smiles as she picks up the seven-year-old.

"Mama! Have you seen the library daddy made for me? Do you want to go there together?"

"Ruby, sweetheart, slow down a little. And yes, I would love to see the library daddy built for you."

The oldest princess smiles brightly at her mother.

"Greetings to her majesty and her highness."

"Greetings to you too, Lilian. Shouldn't you be at home with your husband? Can you really come back so soon?"

"Of course, your majesty. The nanny is taking care of Irene, and my husband is at home, too. And my Irene is already a year old now."

Diana smiles softly at the brunette.

"I see. But won't Lady Irene miss her mother? I am barely able to leave Rezefs side without him crying, too."

"That's probably because your majesty is so wonderful. And yes, my little Irene cries too whenever I leave."

"My, toddlers are all the same, aren't they?"

Ruby watches the two adults talk. Lilian is her mother's personal maid but Rudbeckia wasn't aware that she had another daughter. She knew of Stan and Melissa but nobody had told her about Irene.

"I wasn't aware that you had another daughter, Lily."

"Yes, Your Highness, I have another daughter named Irene."

Rudbeckia smiles brightly. Another girl!

"What does she look like?"

"She looks like Melissa, your highness."

"So her hair is brown and her eyes golden? Mother, I want golden eyes too!"

Diana giggles at her young daughter.

"Do you not like your daddy's eyes?"

No, of course I like daddy's eyes, but I want golden eyes like lady Melissa!"

Lilian smiles softly, and so does Diana.

~

"Your highness, it's time to wake up."

Rudbeckia opens her eyes and blinks her tears away.

"Good morning, Your Highness. Do you wish to bathe now or later?"

"Mh... Now."

The brown-haired maid, Britney, nods and signals one of the newer maids to prepare the bath.

"Today is such nice weather. Should I ask if her Highness Cayena would like to drink tea with your highness later?"

Ruby thinks for a second. Even if the idea of drinking tea with her younger sister sounds fun, Ruby just doesn't feel like it.

"I will think about it later. But if, wouldn't a picnic with all of my siblings sound nicer?"

"Yes, your highness." Brittany stops and looks at the orange-haired maid that came back. "It seems that the bath is ready, shall we go your highness?"

Ruby nods.

-

"Sister! It's been a while since we all did something together."

"Heinrey, you shouldn't run. You're going to hurt yourself."

"Sister, I'm not that young anymore. I'm twelve years old already!"

Ruby smiles at her younger brother. Heinrey lets himself fall onto the blanket next to Rudbeckia.

"Sister! Brother! We're here!"

Cayena runs towards her older siblings while holding the hand of her younger brother Rezef.

"Sister Ruby, you look very beautiful today."

Rezef blushes a little. Ruby's heart warms a little more at how adorable her shy little brother looks.

"Thank you, Rezef. I heard that lady Psyche came over yesterday. Did you have fun?"

Rezef nods. Psyche and he were engaged since birth and it seems that Rezef has fallen in love with his fiance.

"Okay! Can we eat now?"

"And play!"

Cayena nods at her older brother.

"Oh, brother is so smart! I want to play too!"

"Sister Ruby, do you think Daddy will join us to play this time?"

Cayena tilt's her head to the side a little like always when she asks a question, whose answer is obvious. Ruby feels her heartbeat stop for a second.

"Da- Father is busy at the moment, maybe next time "

"You always say that! Daddy never plays with us anymore! Does he hate us because we aren't mommy?"

Ruby's heart breaks as soon as the words leave Cayenas mouth. Has she been thinking that all along? Just how long did she think that?

"No, no, don't think that way. Daddy is just going through a hard time."

"But it's been five years, sister. Cayena is right. Does he hate us? "

"Heinrey..."

Ruby looks at her siblings. Cayenas eyes are filled with tears, Rezef is crying and Heinrey is looking right at her. Hurt all over his face.

"I- How- I- He- He doesn't- I really don't think that he hates us. He's just hurt."

"So, are we! He isn't the only one who lost her! We lost our mother! Rezef only knows what she looks like because of the portraits!"

Heinrey is crying now too.

"Why do you keep defending him?"

" I don't know "

-

Ruby sighs and leans her back against the door. That was exhausting. She really hates it when they fight. She understands why they are upset. She is too.

"Britney, how is father?"

"His majesty is sleeping at the moment, your highness."

"I see..."

It's been five years since the empress passed away. Her health had been weak ever since she gave birth to the second prince. So winter came and the empress never got to see the coming spring. Leaving her husband and four children behind.

After losing the love of his life, emperor Claude locked himself in his room and only left for work. Leaving the only nine-year-old princess Rudbeckia to take care of her siblings.

"Inform me when he wakes up."

"Yes, of course, your highness."

-

Ruby stands in front of the door to her father's chambers. Slightly shaking out of nervousness.

She breathes in before knocking.

The silence that follows after her knock makes her feel suffocating. For a second she thinks about leaving before she hears a noise coming from inside.

"Who is there?"

The voice is harsh. It's not the soft voice Ruby remembers, but it's her father, nothing less.

She pushes the sob, that is, trying to come out, down. She can't cry now. Not after finally talking to her father after five years of silence.

"It's... It's me, father."

"..."

Ruby thinks that the silence that follows after her statement might have broken her heart for real.

But then the door opens.

And there is he.

Her Father.

If you can call him that. He looks tired. He looks as if he hasn't slept in forever.

Which isn't true. Rudbeckia knows that he was asleep just an hour ago.

"Ruby? You... You have grown quite a bit."

"Of course, it's been five years"

"Yes, a little."

"...What brings you here?"

Rudbeckia can feel her anger grow inside of her. The question he just asked might have been the stupidest thing she has ever heard, and Heinrey had once tried to convince her that he could talk to water.

"Can I not come to see my father, who I haven't seen in five years?"

She smiles an insincere smile at him. Claude stays quiet and just looks at Ruby.

He whispers something but she didn't understand what he said.

"Yes, it makes sense why you came to look for me."

"Father... I-I'm going to have tea with my siblings tomorrow... I'm telling you in case you want to join. If you don't, then that's fine too. But I'm here so that you know that they think you hate us. Which is understandable. It's been five years after all."

Ruby turns around. She doesn't want him to see her cry.

"They think I hate them?"

"Yes? Can you blame them? We haven't seen you in five years, father!"

That might have been the first time that Ruby raised her voice at her family. And to top that already shocking thing, she raised her voice at her father.

"Ah, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scream!"

Ruby bow's to make her apology more evident. Claude takes the one step that separates him and his daughter forward and puts his hand on her shoulder.

"You don't need to apologize, and especially not bow, to me Ruby."

"Yes... Are you going to join tomorrow?"

She wasn't fully aware why she asked again. Especially when she wouldn't be capable of taking a no without crying. Actually, she would probably cry no matter the answer.

"Yes, I will be there. It seems like I've been neglecting my children so much that they believe that I hate them."

Oh, and there it was. The sob that has been hanging around in Rudbeckia's throat since she talked to her siblings earlier. She isn't trying to hold back the tears anymore.

Claude pulls Ruby closer and lays his arms around her.

"I'm sorry, Ruby."

And with that, she breaks down completely. And Claude just holds her close.

And for the first time in a while, Ruby lets herself go.

She lets herself cry all the tears she's been holding back for so long.

From now on things will get better.

And maybe one day all the pain she's been feeling will be gone completely.

And they can be happy. But for now, they will have to talk it out.

And Claude will have to deal with the right full anger of his three youngest kids.

C h a r a c t e r s a r e f r o m:

Who made me a princess(Claude/Diana/Lilian)/How to get my husband on my side(Rudbeckia)/Remarried empress(Heinrey)/The villainess is a marionette (Cayena/Rezef)

⟨ Claude x Diana Family - Masterlist ⟩

[eschercaine]

I have something to say:

I’ve been reading this manhwa How to Get My Husband on My Side.

I don’t know what to say about this manhwa, really. I’ve read 30+ chapters and it’s an emotional roller coaster for me. This made me cry and made me angry at the same time. At some point, I consider dropping this because of angst but I cannot. 😭

The female lead is Rudbeckia de Borgia, the daughter of Pope Borgia. In her past life, she already suffered because of her adoptive family. And when she transmigrate in the novel (the OG!Ruby was a “villain”), her current life is not so different from her previous life, but she wanted to live a peaceful life. Her family is trash, except Enzo. Later, they married her to a man from an enemy kingdom. Her husband neglects her. The maids hate her. The nobles doesn’t like her very much because of her reputation. Basically, the majority not all of them of Britannia don’t like her very much but they don’t show it. Also, she has eating disorder and she’s traumatized from her two lives.

Enter the male lead, Izek van Omerta. For now, this is my opinion of him: he’s a pretty boy but he’s a trash. He’s been cold and a neglecting husband to Rudbeckia since day 1. I hope he suffers from his actions.

I know, I know. From the spoilers that I’ve read, Izek seems to be not a bad guy but that doesn’t excuse his behaviour towards her. She’s already traumatized from both her lives and this guy and his family and the other nobles only made it worse.

I can’t forget that chapter where Rudbeckia was lost in the forest and he scolds her for seeking attention. Then there’s a time where she’s having a breakdown and she’s kneeling on the floor and Izek just screams at her. 🤬 WTF dude??

Just give Rudbeckia a break, will ya?!

What I wanted to say is:

I rather want Rudbeckia to stay away from that damn husband, sister-in-law, those infuriating siblings and that abusive family. I want her to stay with Popo and find someone better than Izek and live a happily ever after.

I hope her trashy “husband” will suffer, and also Freya. When I read the spoilers from the novel, it was disappointing because they did a lot of abuse to Ruby but were just forgiven and forgotten. She’s already suffering, y’all. 😭 THEY DESERVE TO FEEL MUCH MORE PAIN AND REGRET FOR EVERYTHING THEY PUT RUDBECKIA THROUGH.

I don’t care if Izek has good intentions. The way he’s raising his voice to Ruby when she’s already vulnerable, that’s not the way to speak to someone and pretend this person understand his arrogant and rash language.

Also, Izek’s reasoning is not acceptable to me. 😤😡 He claims that he cares for her, but it doesn’t justify on why he would just abandon her when she needed him the most.

UGHHHH. TRASH, ALL OF THEM.

My conclusion:

The “monsters” has better manners and is smarter than these mofos.

Humans are the monsters than the actual “monsters”.

P.S. I want Ruby to have her happy ending.

[diygabl]

A Beginner's Guide To Organic Pest-Free Gardening

Using as many organic techniques as possible in your garden or yard is the healthiest way to protect the environment and the people around you. But how can you protect your Garden of Eden from insects and critters that would like to make it their dinner? How can you resist breaking out the big guns, such as synthetic pesticides? We organic gardeners have our ways.

The Problem with Synthetic Pesticides The truth about synthetic pesticides is that they are very good at their jobs. In fact, they are too good, and that usually comes with a price. Synthetic chemicals (whether pesticides or herbicides) may seem to work faster initially. However, in the long run, you will find that they aren’t any more effective than organics and usually end up doing more harm than good. Pesticides don’t differentiate between the good guys and the bad guys. They kill everything, including pollinators and other beneficial insects. In addition, they don’t do any favors for the environment, wildlife, and our human bodies.

Constantly Improve Your Garden Soil The first line of defense against garden pests is to improve your soil on a continual basis. Even the most fertile soil eventually becomes nutritionally depleted from hungry plants. Nutritionally depleted soil = nutritionally depleted (unhealthy) plants, and unhealthy plants are a magnet for pests and disease. Here are some tips for improving garden soil:

Whenever possible, don’t till or remove topsoil from the garden. Regularly add compost and other amendments to the bed by simply layering them on top. The redworms and other beneficial organisms will do the work for you.

Rotate the plants in your garden beds. Many pests (and diseases) are focused on specific plant families. For example, cabbage loopers are particularly attracted to plants in the brassica family (cole crops). In the first growing season, the pests that find brassicas irresistible will be on the lookout for potential host plants. They may (or may not) find your broccoli in this first year. But once they do, they begin to set up camp for good. You can thwart their efforts for the next season by practicing plant rotation. If you have broccoli planted in one of your garden beds this year, next year plant them in a different bed. Do the same with each plant family.

Start your own compost pile. Compost is organic plant and animal matter that’s completely broken down, making it readily available to plant roots. It adds nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, plus other nutrients (depending on the organic materials) such as copper, iron, iodine, manganese, boron, cobalt, and molybdenum. Compost also builds a rich, friable garden soil, so I’m a fan of adding it to my garden beds every chance I get. The most cost-effective way to have a steady supply of compost is to make your own.

Plant green manures (cover crops). Green manures, aka cover crops, are legumes, grains, or grasses planted in a garden bed for introducing nitrogen, inhibiting weeds, preventing soil erosion, and adding organic matter. Legumes such as field peas, hairy vetch, red clover, and soybean (edamame) “fix” nitrogen via the bacteria that lives in their roots. Once the legumes begin to flower, they are knocked down and turned under, releasing nitrogen into the soil. Grains and grasses such as winter rye, rape, wheat, and oats are excellent cover crops for discouraging weeds, preventing erosion, and generally building soil.

Call in the Natural Predators Mother Nature is fantastic at bringing balance to all things. She has always had the answer to plant pest overpopulation: natural predators, which include insects and other animals. For example, ladybugs from larva to adults will have devoured 5,000 aphids by the time they die, while a green lacewing larva consumes 60 aphids an hour. All you need to do is encourage them to visit the garden by planting what they love. Predatory insects will come for the appetizers (plants) and stay for the main course (pests). Bonus: Predators will often double as effective pollinators in the garden. The following are plants that will lure predators, as well as pollinators, to your garden.

40 Plants for Predatory Insects

Alyssum

Aster

Basil

Bee balm

Blazing Star

Borage

Butterfly bush

Calendula

Coreopsis

Cosmos

Dill

Fennel

Flax

Giant hyssop

Globe thistle

Goldenrod

Hollyhock

Hyssop

Joe-pye weed

Lavender

Lovage

Lupine

Marigold

Marjoram

Mullein

Nasturtium

Oregano

Purple coneflower

Queen Anne’s lace

Rosemary

Rudbeckia

Sage

Scabiosa

Stonecrop

Thyme

Verbena

Wallflower

Wild rose

Yarrow

Zinnia

By the way, not all predators are insects. Many birds, such as bluebirds, grosbeaks, swallows, and wrens, will be happy to feast on garden pests such as cucumber beetles, grasshoppers, stick bugs, and aphids.

Nontoxic and Low-Toxic When it comes to defining nontoxic and low-toxic pesticides, there are two schools of thought. The first being that many organic pesticides, whether they are purchased or made by the gardener, are considered “nontoxic.” For example, insecticidal soap such as the one made by Safer Brand is eco-friendly and nontoxic to people, pets, and wildlife. I think that this is true for the most part (although it can be irritating to sensitive skin, as well as the eyes). However, can an insecticidal soap tell the difference between pests and beneficial insects? No. And this can be said of many other organic controls as well. So the better question to ask is nontoxic to whom? This is where we come to the other school of thought, which is that anything that kills something can’t be labeled as truly nontoxic. Whichever definition rings true for you, one thing is certain: The following products are much less toxic to the environment, people, and animals than their synthetic alternatives. That said, some organic pesticides are still highly toxic to bees.

Hand-to-Hand Combat: Sometimes you can’t beat good, old-fashioned elbow grease. Hand-pick pests from your plants and squish, stomp, or drown them in a bucket of soapy water. Feed them to your chickens. Round up your kids, your sister’s kids, and the neighborhood kids and pay them for their hunting skills. Never underestimate the blast of a water hose. This technique is very effective on aphids and other soft-bodied insects. Be sure to adjust the strength of the stream so it doesn’t pummel plant leaves in the process.

Physical Barriers: Physical barriers such as floating row covers, netting, paper collars, and copper strips work surprisingly well against many pests such as snails, cabbageworms, flea beetles, squash bugs, and more. (Don’t forget that row covers and netting will also keep pollinators from visiting your plants. So, remove them while the plants are blooming.)

Insecticidal Soaps: Insecticidal soaps are true soap (not detergents) mixtures that coat the bodies of insects and dry them out. Works well on soft-bodied insects such as mealybugs, aphids, scales, etc. Highly toxic to bees.

Diatomaceous Earth (horticultural grade): DE is crushed fossilized diatom and algae skeletons. It enters insect bodies and in effect dries them up. Works well for earwigs, ants, beetles, fleas, ticks, slugs, etc. While it’s safe for people in general, avoid breathing it into your lungs by wearing a dust mask while applying it. Highly toxic to bees.

Horticultural Oils: Horticultural oils are made with various oils (mineral, vegetable, soybean, etc.) and work by disrupting how some insects–such as aphids–eat, poisoning others, and smothering insect eggs. Highly toxic to bees.

Pyrethrins: Pyrethrins are derived from specific chrysanthemums and basically attack an insect’s central nervous system. They aren’t considered the lowest toxicity; however, they are considered acceptable for organic gardening practices. They are biodegradable and break down quickly in the sunlight. Don’t confuse pyrethrins (pyrethrum) with permethrin, which is its synthetic counterpart (and very toxic to cats and other animals). Highly toxic to bees.

Do Organic Pest Control Practices Really Work? I have often heard people say they don’t believe organic methods work nearly as well as the more toxic poisons found on store shelves. I always wonder if those with this mindset have ever actually tried organic techniques and strategies. Or perhaps, if they simply have not given them enough time to work their magic. Organic pest control methods do work, especially if several are implemented at the same time. Yes, you might lose a few seedlings to snails or have a few holes in some leaves. But in the end, organic gardening practices still offer the most people-, animal-, and Earth-friendly practices for maintaining a healthy balance in the garden.  

[ijunoposts]

End of Month View of the Garden. End of September 2017

With thanks to Steve at The Glebe House Garden Blog for hosting this Meme.

More normal September weather has arrived with occasional hot sunny days,plenty of rain, blight warnings, and some wind.

I’ve started wearing a jumper, and its less than 100 days till that festival that rhymes with twistmas.

Aster × frikartii ‘Mönch’ and Rudbeckia fulgida Goldsturm.

All the Autumn flowers are doing their thing, the bees are still making use of all available flowers.

My potted Acer’s are showing lovely Autumn colour at the moment, I’ve worked out that I have quite a few Acer varieties in various stages of pots dotted in random locations throughout the garden, most need re potting into larger pots.  A job for the winter.

Acer Green Glory 1 of many dotted around the garden.

My fence border is showing signs of autumn .

Hamamelis looking autumnal.

Last spring I purchased a new Hamamelis × intermedia ‘Jelena‘ and planted it along this border, I am looking forward to seeing it in all is flowery glory next spring, the addition of this latest plant brings my Hamamelis count back up to 3 after the demise of one of my oldest and smallest plants earlier this spring.

Island bed of annoyance.

My island bed of annoyance is still annoying me, I’m determined to give it a major sort through and clear out over the impending winter months, I’ve already pulled out one plant that was very lack luster and under performing, that went straight into the bin.

I’ve been making a mental note of what I want to keep, what I want to move, where to, and what I want to be rid of, however every time I undertake this mental task I come out with different decisions.

Behind the island bed, in the random are in between the falling down shed and newest greenhouse, I have a lovely display from my newest Aster.

Aster novae angliae ‘Dapper Tapper’.

This Aster was in its first year last year and sulked a while, so this year it’s looking splendid and settled in nicely.

I’m also getting some nice grass seed heads, but the plants do need relocating this winter as they are too close together.

Grassy Seed Heads.

Pennisetum red buttons, in close proximity with Miscanthus nepalensis. 

My Crab Apple is currently looking like I’ve placed red beads all over it. It’s practically glowing.

However I’ve come to the conclusion that it must be grafted on dwarfing root-stock, or really dislike the ground conditions as after 6 years of being planted, the tree has barely doubled in sized. I can tell its been grafted by the effect on the lower trunk, and in all other aspects the tree is really healthy, except in size.

Malus ‘Evereste’.

Malus ‘Evereste’ about 2m tall.

All my Tomatoes and Cucumbers have now finished, I’ve pickled loads of cucumber batons and slices, but need 3 months in vinegar before I can taste them to see if I like them preserved that way. Tomatoes have been rendered down into lots of jars of sauces to be eaten with pasta dishes. The Sweetcorn is also finished and cleared away, I managed to achieve the elusive 2nd decent cob per plant, something I’ve never managed before, the addition of lots of B&Q manure was the secret ingredient.

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The 2nd cobs of Sweetcorn Lark F1, smaller than the 1st cobs, but very tasty.

Sweetcorn cobs.

Tomato Scotland Yellow.

Cucumber Mini Munch. The best I’ve ever eaten.

After the Sweetcorn plants were finished and removed it gave my Butternut squashes who were planted in a 2 sisters style, chance to fruit up and ripen, the crop as been very small and individual fruits are also comically small, however they are very tasty.

Butternut Squash Hunter F1. (Don’t Laugh).

I think I’ll grow a different squash as part of the two sisters next year, something more exciting perhaps.

In the raised beds I have a bit of winter Lettuce, and a crop of small Leeks hiding under mesh to try to thwart the Allium Leaf Minor which devastated all my Leeks last year. If this method does not work, then I will give up Leeks for good.

I’ve also got some autumn planting Shallots & Red Onions purchased from the Malvern Autumn Show I attended recently. I’m going to grow the Shallots as pickling onions for harvesting next late spring. Well that’s the plan.

Until next month, bye for now.

End of Month View of the Garden. End of September 2017 End of Month View of the Garden. End of September 2017 With thanks to Steve at The Glebe House Garden Blog