#SERIES: josepha and judith

[heavymetalmuppet]

series: josepha & judith

sagittarius

drabble 1: protection || drabble 2: dearest || drabble 3: again, please || drabble 4: the chase word count: 728 author’s notes: judith is gay and so am i

Dearest,

In your culture, is “dearest” too strong a word to use when two people are fond of each other? And is “fond” too strong a word to use when two people enjoy flirting with each other?

I enjoy you. Even now, I smile picturing your face. Angara are free with our emotions, and it feels normal for me to lay mine at your feet. I hope this is not too strange for your species and that you can comfortably accept them.

I enjoy you—but more than that, I adore your strength and courage and beauty.

Your dearest, Jaal

“You okay there, Ryder?” Suvi asked curiously.

Keep reading

[thedreadgay]

the end of chaos

series: josepha & judith original publish date: aug 30 2016 word count: 1557 author’s notes: this was my ‘how mass effect 3 actually ended’ fic even tho lbr the catalyst just shouldn’t have been there at all but lol. also josepha shepard is non-binary. have fun

“Where did the Reapers come from?” Shepard rasped. “Did you create them?”

Shepard clutched their broken and bloodied side with one hand, a near-empty pistol in the other. Their chest rattled horribly with every breath and they were so, so tired, but they would not fall now. They could not. The ghostly figure, the Catalyst, stared up at them with the face of just one more they couldn’t save.

“My creators gave them form. I gave them function. They, in turn, give me purpose,” the Catalyst explained, watching calmly as two Reapers drifted almost lazily to a target in unison. Like wiping the galaxy clean was the simplest thing in the universe... Shepard’s legs trembled with horror and exhaustion. “The Reapers are a synthetic representation of my creators.”

“And what happened to your creators?” Shepard asked, looking up to the sky. What they hoped to find there, they didn’t know. All the stars held were destruction and their burning homeworld.

“They became the first true Reaper. They did not approve, but it was the only solution.”

‘They did not approve,’ that’s a light way to put it, Shepard thought bitterly. They were hanging by a thread, watching thousands die as warships were blown to bits, and they couldn’t stop the contempt that seeped into their voice as they turned back to the Catalyst. “You said that before, but how do the Reapers solve anything?”

The Catalyst was unfazed by their disdain. “Organics create synthetics to improve their own existence, but those improvements have limits. To exceed those limits, synthetics must be allowed to evolve. They must, by definition, surpass their creators.  The result is conflict, destruction, chaos. It is inevitable.” Shepard’s brows knit together, and they cast their gaze to the side in thought. “Reapers harvest all life—organic and synthetic—preserving them before they are forever lost to this conflict.”

Shepard couldn’t believe what they were hearing. “We’re at war with the Reapers right now!” they cried with a tremble to their voice, pointing to the chaos around them and gripping their pistol tightly, though it felt like knives up their arms.

“You may be in conflict with the Reapers, but they are not interested in war,” the Catalyst corrected coolly.

“I find that hard to believe," they said with venom. Was it oblivious to the hell it created, or did it simply not care? They didn’t know which was worse.

“When fire burns, is it at war? Is it in conflict? Or is it simply doing what it was created to do?” The Catalyst stared up at them evenly. “We are no different. We harvest your bodies, your knowledge, your creations. We preserve it to be reborn in the form of a new Reaper.” It gazed around at what it had wrought, and Shepard couldn’t comprehend how it thought this was right. “Like a cleansing fire, we restore balance.” It turned back to Shepard. “New life, both organic and synthetic, can once again flourish.”

“You kill us all... because you think you’re saving us,” Shepard murmured, incredulous. They coughed wetly, barely registering the blood dripping from the corner of their mouth.

“I am saving you,” The Catalyst stated.

“No...” They shook their head slowly, and it made their vision swim. They blinked hard, took a breath. “No,” they repeated, more firm. Though their muscles screamed in protest, Shepard stood straighter. “This isn’t ascension. This isn’t preserving us, it's destroying us. Conflict—that’s what you claim is inevitable when synthetics evolve.” They took a painful step forward. “And you said it yourself, before you went back on it: we're in conflict with the Reapers. You're not a force of nature, you're a creation who instigated conflict with your creators.” The Catalyst blinked, and Shepard took another step.

“This is slaughter. It’s ruin. Look around you.” Shepard waved their hand at the fiery debris scattered among the stars. “This isn't an inevitability, it's a choice you made. You, a synthetic intelligence, destroyed your creators, and destroyed everyone and everything that came after them."

"No," it interrupted, "I never destroyed—"

"What makes us people?" Shepard leaned in. "What makes all living beings, organic and synthetic, who we are? Isn't it when we're given space to define ourselves? To grow?" They glared, accusatory. "You take away the ability for self-definition when we're turned into Reapers. You break us down to ghosts of our pasts, cutting short growth for our futures. You annihilate us."

"No—" The strange echo turned frantic—

"Everything you've done has contradicted your purpose, your very existence. You’re a synthetic intelligence, eradicating all life over and over... so we won’t be wiped out by synthetic intelligences.” The Catalyst’s eyes went wide, and Shepard’s voice rose to a shout, rough like sandpaper on stone. “For millions of years, you’ve just been repeating a self-fulfilling prophecy! You’ve brought about the very chaos you were created to end!”

Shepard’s voice rang around them, faded, and then they were plunged into silence. The Catalyst simply stared with unbelieving, childlike eyes, and Shepard glowered in turn, daring it to prove them wrong. The gazes and silence held as civilization crumbled around them.

“You... are correct,” the Catalyst finally murmured, sounding as small as the child they mimicked. “I...” It looked down at its feet, then up at the fires burning in the vacuum of space, brows together. “I did not calculate...” It trailed off, echoing and lost.

“Maybe you needed an organic viewpoint to see the bigger picture,” Shepard said quietly, their throat raw from shouting.

“Yes,” it whispered simply. It still did not look at them.

“Do you see now,” they asked, “what can be accomplished when synthetics and organics work together? Listen to one another?” The Catalyst didn't speak, and Shepard continued. “When conflict arises, it can be put to rest by seeking understanding, not by genocide. Look at the quarians and the geth; there’s peace between them now. And there can be peace between you and the peoples of this cycle.” Their look hardened. “But you have to end this. Now.”

“... Yes,” the Catalyst repeated. “If my solution was incorrect... then perhaps so were my calculations. Perhaps destruction of one or the other is not inevitable. Growth, as you say... beyond a point not thought possible.” A moment passed, and then it finally looked back up at Shepard. “The Reapers must be destroyed, utterly and permanently. A remaining trace would still carry risk for indoctrination; even dead gods still dream.”

Shepard’s bones creaked as they shivered at the familiar words, but a wave of relief washed over them all the same. Finally, this could end. “Then show me how to use the Crucible,” they demanded desperately, tiredly.

“The device you refer to as the Crucible is little more than a power source,” the Catalyst explained, turning to the blazing beam of light at the end of the platform. “However, in combination with the Citadel and the relays, it is capable of releasing tremendous amounts of energy throughout the galaxy. If I disseminate my code among Reaper forces with the command to self-destruct, it will end them.”

“Disseminate your code?” Shepard echoed, taken aback. “Meaning you’ll die?”

The Catalyst did not turn around. Shepard could barely see the outline of it against the light emitting from the Crucible, and in its silence, they almost thought themself to be alone. “In organic terms, yes."

It was an odd thing Shepard felt, that they couldn't quite name—a sort of wonder, maybe, observing something ancient meeting its end. Sadness at that, perhaps. The witnessing of so much sacrifice weighed heavy in their chest, but there was acceptance in knowing the Catalyst was fixing its mistake. Hope glimmered for the living and dead to be at peace.

At Shepard's silence, the figure turned, regarding them calmly. “This is how I will fulfill my purpose.” It faced forward again and began to walk, white light trailing in its wake like smoke. “I will disseminate my code and command into the Crucible. Then you must fire it.” The Catalyst pointed to an adjacent platform, and Shepard saw it: a tube-like detonator. They felt another burst of strength in their body.

“Thank you,” Shepard murmured, nearly breathless. The Catalyst looked over its shoulder at them, quiet for a moment.

“Your thanks are unneeded. I am simply making what is wrong, right.”

Shepard nodded. The Catalyst turned back to the beam, and hesitated for a fraction of a second. “Goodbye.”

The Catalyst’s form flickered as it stepped forward, then disappeared.

The beam expanded and burned brighter, thrumming with power, and Shepard was truly alone with only one task left.

With a heaving gasp, they willed one foot in front of the other, limping heavily to the other end of the platform. They stumbled up the ramp and tried to catch their breath, coughing up another splatter of blood and spitting out a tooth, feeling like a ripped up ragdoll—but they were here. They were here, at the end.

Down the long platform stood the detonator. Shepard could feel the hum of the Crucible in their bones, in their heartbeat, and it was all they could hear as they breathed in. Three years of battle, sacrifice, and death flew before their eyes to stop here. Breathed out. Shepard took a step forward, aimed their pistol, and fired.

[thedreadgay]

masterpost of all my goddamn fics that i write

im uploading all the stuff i’ve already written to tungler and also gonna post here for new stuff too SO. here’s a nice lil masterpost for all my fics so u don’t have to go scrolling through my whole writing tag. i’m doing this in part cause ao3 fucking sucks but i get if it’s more convenient so if u would rather read there, my ao3 is here

all writing (including original) overwatch dragon age mass effect

SERIES gwenoden, roslin, ishnah (dragon age): thedas of gwenoden theirin cousland, roslin hawke, and ishnah adaar. josepha & judith (mass effect): the galaxies of josepha shepard and judith ryder.

[thedreadgay]

sagittarius

drabble 1: protection || drabble 2: dearest || drabble 3: again, please || drabble 4: the chase word count: 728 author’s notes: judith is gay and so am i

Dearest,

In your culture, is "dearest" too strong a word to use when two people are fond of each other? And is "fond" too strong a word to use when two people enjoy flirting with each other?

I enjoy you. Even now, I smile picturing your face. Angara are free with our emotions, and it feels normal for me to lay mine at your feet. I hope this is not too strange for your species and that you can comfortably accept them.

I enjoy you—but more than that, I adore your strength and courage and beauty.

Your dearest, Jaal

"You okay there, Ryder?" Suvi asked curiously.

Judith slapped a hand over their mouth. Some strange, delighted sound between a giggle and gurgle had erupted from them, and they found their face hot to the touch. They turned slowly from the bridge's terminal, facing Suvi and Kallo's stares, though they'd rather sink into their hoodie and stay there.

"Fine!" Judith squeaked—then cleared their throat and tried again. "I'm fine. Nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?" Kallo looked concerned, and maybe a little suspicious. "Sounded like something jumped down your throat."

Judith laughed nervously. "Oh, just—just a cough." They coughed roughly for good measure; it wasn't very convincing. "Think I picked up a bug on Kadara or something, I'm gonna go rest up. Catch you both later!"

"You should have Lexi check—" Suvi was saying, but Judith was already booking a hasty retreat from the bridge.

They heard a soft sigh, and then a whisper from Kallo: "Is that how sick humans usually sound?"

The door slid shut, and Judith leaned heavily against it, letting out a breath of relief. They took a moment to gather themself, and felt infinitely thankful no one else was around to see them. Embarrassing as that was, however, Judith couldn't help but smile.

Dearest. They grinned wide, and their heart fluttered like a butterfly.

They slid down a ladder and ducked into their quarters. Sergeant P.B. Fiddles was curled up on the couch, and the pyjak poked his head up as Judith entered, chirping curiously.

"Hey there, little guy," they cooed, picking him up and twirling him around the room. The Sergeant seemed to like it, trilling happily as Judith laughed. "Wanna come sit with me?"

They cuddled the pyjak in their arms and made a beeline for their personal terminal, immediately opening their inbox and the email from Jaal. Judith's eyes roved over the words, again and again, almost hungry with excitement and something they couldn't quite name.

Fond. Their heart felt warm. He thinks I'm strong, and courageous, and beautiful. Another giggle bubbled from them, and now they welcomed it—that was probably Jaal's influence, they thought. Their toes wiggled and they squirmed in their seat; Fiddles looked confused by the constant movement of their lap.

He adores me. Judith sighed and just about melted in their seat, smitten. They wouldn't be surprised if hearts were popping out their ears. Damn if Jaal wasn't smooth.

But he was only being his most genuine self, wasn't he? That was how angara rolled, and his honesty made him all the more charming. And admirable. And wonderful.

Your dearest. Judith laughed again, full and joyful, and spun their chair around. My dearest. The thought of calling him such made them dizzy—though maybe that was the spinning. Probably both.

Fiddles chirruped curiously, and Judith planted both feet on the floor, halting the chair. "Yeah?" They asked the pyjak. He looked up at them with his big, dark eyes, tilting his head. "You wondering what I'm gonna do?"

The Sergeant remained that way, his tail drifting side to side in interest. Judith pressed their lips together and their brow furrowed, eyes now clouded in thought. "Am I being immature, Sergeant? Or selfish? I'm the only Pathfinder right now; so many lives are riding on me." Their shoulders sagged under the weight. "It may not be a good idea... but I really do..." Judith mulled over the words, and a smile crept onto their face. "I really do enjoy him." Their back straightened. "I adore him."

Fiddles booped their nose with his long snout, and Judith laughed delightedly. "Maybe you're right." They scratched behind the pyjak's floppy ears, and he made a happy, trilling purr. Judith pictured Jaal's face and smiled. "Maybe I deserve a little happiness."

[heavymetalmuppet]

series: josepha & judith

sagittarius

drabble 1: protection || drabble 2: dearest || drabble 3: again, please || drabble 4: the chase word count: 377 author’s notes: still gay

To: You

From: Yours

Again, please.

–Peebee

Judith’s nose scrunched with a grin as they threw their head back and crowed. Their little rodent perked up, and tilted his head curiously as Judith stood, still laughing.

“Don’t worry buddy,” they said around giggles, “I’ll be back soon.”

Keep reading

[thedreadgay]

sagittarius

drabble 1: protection || drabble 2: dearest || drabble 3: again, please || drabble 4: the chase word count: 377 author’s notes: still gay

To: You

From: Yours

Again, please.

--Peebee

Judith's nose scrunched with a grin as they threw their head back and crowed. Their little rodent perked up, and tilted his head curiously as Judith stood, still laughing.

"Don't worry buddy," they said around giggles, "I'll be back soon."

They snickered all the way up the ladder, to the bridge, ducking Suvi and Kallo's inquisitive looks and into the escape pod.

"Hey!" Peebee turned with a smile. "What's—"

Judith interrupted with a playful, messy kiss, laughter bubbling against Peebee's lips. She made a startled, but pleased sound, and deepened the kiss. Judith's hands found her hips and pressed forward, leaning Peebee against her workspace, eliciting the most delightful little moan that made them shiver.

When they parted, Peebee's cheeks were dusted violet, and her breath warmed their lips. She cleared her throat, and continued: "What's up?"

Judith laughed again, and kissed Peebee's neck, making her breath hitch just slightly. "You're cute. That's what's up."

"Tell me something I don't know, gorgeous."

"Hmm, something you don't know..." Judith tapped a fingertip to their lip, miming deep thought. "You know I love you."

Peebee's smile was so soft it made their heart swell. "Sure do."

"And you know we're both cute."

"Absolutely."

"Do you know... what would be really fun?" Judith leaned in close again with a devilish smirk. "Since you asked so nicely?"

Peebee bit her lip, excited. "What?"

Judith's fingers danced up her arm, and their gaze held purpose. They jerked their head to the escape pod proper and murmured: "Doing that again in zero-G."

Peebee's face lit up like the stars. Before they could blink, she had taken their face in both hands and was kissing them with all the passion she had—it was like the eye of a beautiful storm, and they were grasping her jacket for purchase in the whirlwind.

She pulled away with a sloppy smack. "I love you." Her smile was so warm, and full of life, and Judith wanted nothing but to grow with her. Then, in one swift movement, she dropped their pants. "Take off your clothes."

Judith guffawed, and Peebee with them, kissing again and again between giggles as they unzipped her coat, and the two stumbled into the escape pod.

[thedreadgay]

sagittarius

drabble 1: protection || drabble 2: dearest || drabble 3: again, please || drabble 4: the chase word count: 412 author’s notes: this is my drabble collection for judith ryder who i love very much!!!!! they kiss their gf peebee and bf jaal a lot they’re a great polyam. but i will write other things abt judith too. anyway here u go

"You taking 'eyes on the back of your head' seriously?" Peebee quipped. Splayed on the bed, she traced the tattoo between Judith's shoulders, making them shiver in Jaal's embrace. "Or back of your... back..."

"I am guessing that's another idiom," Jaal rumbled, brushing Judith's curls from their neck.

"You guessed right." Judith laughed; it quavered slightly from Peebee's wandering touch. "Eyes on the back of your head means nothing gets past you. That symbol," they gestured behind with their thumb, "is a little different. It's called a hamsa, though there are a few other names. It's for good luck, protection, or both, depending."

"Wow," Peebee murmured, breath fanning over Judith's skin. Her fingertip followed the curve of the eye in the palm. "Which is yours?"

"Protection." They smiled lightly against Jaal's bare chest. "The fingers pointing up is for warding. The eye represents the evil eye, which is like..." Judith pursed their lips. "Imagine if someone looked at you, and their look alone brought misfortune, death, all that good shit. That's the evil eye."

"So..." Jaal spoke slow and thoughtful as always; Judith loved watching him concentrate as he learned something new. "You use a symbol of evil to ward against that very evil?"

"Yeah." They shrugged. "I always thought of it as a mirror. It sees itself and goes off running." Now Judith smiled again, fond, and hugged Jaal closer. "My brother and I match."

Peebee's lips touched between their shoulder blades. "I like it."

"As do I. It's very beautiful, like you." Jaal stroked their cheek, Peebee cuddled skin to skin against their back, and Judith sighed sweetly. Then, Jaal's touch trailed down; his electricity tingled pleasantly along the pale blue pattern at their neck. "Does this have a similar meaning?"

"Nah," Judith said around a ticklish giggle. "It just looks sick."

"Sick?" His tone was puzzled. Judith looked up through their lashes to see him frowning, confused and a little concerned. "Do humans bear these markings when ill? Is that something to take pride in?”

Peebee muffled snickers against the sheets, and Jaal raised a brow. Judith reached up to gently pat his cheek. "It's slang, babe."

A loud snort sounded in their ear, and then Peebee was apologizing through giggles. Jaal sighed, but he was smiling, and it was always true. He shimmied down the bed to kiss both their foreheads, Peebee threw her arm over the two, and Judith quietly thanked all that deflected the evil away.

[thedreadgay]

sagittarius

drabble 1: protection || drabble 2: dearest || drabble 3: again, please || drabble 4: the chase word count: 386 author’s notes: this LEGITIMATELY HAPPENED TO ME IN GAME I WAS SCREAMING THE WHOLE TIME

"That responsibility thing," Vetra began, "It's about my sister, isn't it?"

"Oh good sleuthing, Sherlock. Gold star." Liam's voice dripped with sarcasm.

Two, three red dots flickered to life on the Nomad's nav system. Judith sucked in air through their teeth, and muttered: "Uh, guys—"

"Your mouth's gonna get your ass in trouble." Vetra had never sounded so dangerous, even in the midst of a firefight.

"My mouth didn't drag a kid to Andromeda," Liam retorted.

"Screw you, Kosta." Three red dots became four as Vetra snapped: "She had a choice!"

Judith looked out their side window; they could only catch a glimpse of movement around the jut of Kadara's hills, but whatever it was, it was big. "Hey—"

"Some choice. Lose you, or come here. Crazy how upbeat she is, considering."

Vetra seethed, her voice low and threatening. "Stay out of my shit and don't talk to my sister."

"You can kill each other when we aren't about to die!" Judith yelled and slammed on the pedal—all three lurched as the Nomad sped forward, barely dodging two blasts of acid spit. One of two eirochs on their tail snarled in frustration.

"Shit!" Liam muttered. Even through the Nomad's thrum, Judith felt thundering as the eirochs charged, accompanied by the heavy thump-thump-thump of a rylkor. The screeching adhi was just the cherry on top. Kicking up clouds of dust, Judith held tight and raced the rover sideways along a sheer rock face. Wait for it—one eiroch was almost on them—then their stomach flipped as the thruster engaged, and they swiveled in the air past the giant. SMASH! The eiroch rammed head-first into the rock with a great shake and a deafening roar.

"Hope that didn't just piss it off," Judith puffed. They swerved dangerously to dodge the other's massive claws, then jabbed at the thruster again, evading a swing of the rylkor's heavy tail.

"I think you just pissed it off!" Liam warned; the stunned eiroch stumbled from the impact and bellowed, ringing across the mountainsides.

"Maybe this is what happens when you start fights on missions, huh?" Judith said breathlessly.

"Ryder," Vetra hissed with urgency, "save the lecture for later and drive the damn rover!"

"Fair!" The Nomad veered, and the engine's boost vibrated in Judith's ribs as they zoomed into a narrow mountain pass.

[heavymetalmuppet]

series: josepha & judith

sagittarius

drabble 1: protection || drabble 2: dearest || drabble 3: again, please || drabble 4: the chase word count: 412 author’s notes: this is my drabble collection for judith ryder who i love very much!!!!! they kiss their gf peebee and bf jaal a lot they’re a great polyam. but i will write other things abt judith too. anyway here u go

“You taking ‘eyes on the back of your head’ seriously?” Peebee quipped. Splayed on the bed, she traced the tattoo between Judith’s shoulders, making them shiver in Jaal’s embrace. “Or back of your… back…”

Keep reading

[heavymetalmuppet]

series: josepha & judith

sagittarius

drabble 1: protection || drabble 2: dearest || drabble 3: again, please || drabble 4: the chase word count: 386 author’s notes: this LEGITIMATELY HAPPENED TO ME IN GAME I WAS SCREAMING THE WHOLE TIME

“That responsibility thing,” Vetra began, “It’s about my sister, isn’t it?”

“Oh good sleuthing, Sherlock. Gold star.” Liam’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

Two, three red dots flickered to life on the Nomad’s nav system. Judith sucked in air through their teeth, and muttered: “Uh, guys—”

Keep reading