#SNIFF I almost deleted this instinctively because i was reminded of the elf piss ask and wondered if we had a sequel

[nizynskis]

Pssst. It's Rulfio, the barkeep. Heard you were asking about my house special. Now, I usually don't share my recipes but you look like you could use a Mariner's Delight so I'll just tell ya once. Don't write this down.

You got your vodka, cranberry juice, seltzer, moonshine, ice, and durian jam. The basics. Then you match that in fluid ounces with fish sauce--now I see that look but you'll have to trust me--you add the fish sauce and you shake it. While that's fizzing you add in a lobster claw (crab is also fine if you're in a rush) and some butterfly pea tea. For color. We're not animals. Then you pour it all over some ice in a tall glass, pop the secret ingredient in--you know--and say a prayer. Olive for garnish but that's your call.

Good luck out there. If you need a Smoky Hill after just go to the pub by the docks and tell 'em Rulfio's orders.

I NEED A SMOKY HILL!!!!!! COME BACK