#SORRY IM EXPERIENCING ''5D CHESS + TIME TRAVEL'' LEVEL OF EMOTIONS RN

[key-lime-soda]

sorry @hinako-supremacy it got really long and i realized it needed to be its own post so here's my existential crisis ramble about jazz and pokemon

im listening to Carlos Eiene, aka insaneintherainmusic on yt, and his music makes me so nostalgic. he became popular for doing pokemon jazz covers (and a few other games like undertale) when he was in highschool and college. meanwhile i was in 6th grade when i found his channel and it changed my taste in music and me love swing and jazz to this day. in new years of 2022 he announced that he was gonna quit doing covers (after like 8 years of doing them) since copyright is a pain and he wanted to do his own original music and become a professional game composer too. i was really sad but also soooo proud cuz like??? his stuff is amazing??? and its like watching ur childhood friend fulfill their dreams and its so heartwarming. he released his first full original album and its called '' insane in the rain'', named after his channel asjhkhkdjfhsdakfh. i listened to one of the songs (same name as the album) and its a very uplifting song that really feels kinda like a "we did it. we finally made it and i couldn't be more proud" and when i heard it i wanted to cry dkjshfksdjhfk??? it captured exactly how it felt seeing him move on and realizing how much time had past. i finished middle school and high school and his music helped take me to where i am today. i was proud of him, but i was also proud of myself too!! we've both grown to reach the place we've always wanted to be. pokemon music inspired him to improve his skills and become a professional composer in the exact same way that pokemon inspired me to become both a graphic designer and videogame analyst!! and we couldn't have done it without pokemon!!

anyway i remembered this song this morning. and a few days ago, there was a commemorative video that showcased that we've hit 1000 pokemon!!! i think the two together really made me realize how much pokemon has been in my life. my birthday is in 2 weeks, which will roughly mark around 15 years since i first discovered pokemon. admittedly i was really young but i still remember watching the diamond/pearl anime on tv and being both amazed and confused since i didn't watch the episodes in order. so much has changed since then: ive grown attached to other games, got new hobbies and greatly improved in old ones, ive become a dad (/joking lol), and ive gotten rid of my gender. but nothing really changed at all. playing legends arceus on the switch felt the same as playing leafgreen on my GBA SP (aside from the obvious difference of actually being able to read). the desire to explore the world and catch them all is still there.

sometimes i wish i could meet my past self. i do occasionally wonder what they'd think of me. in highschool i used to think they'd be disappointed, but now? i think they'd like college Sumi. im studying art and videogames!! plus i never let go of who i used to be. i think kindergarten me would be proud, and i think im proud of them too. life is good and, for once, i think everything will be ok :)