#SSPS

[frogisanut]

i spent 3 hours on this this was supposed to be goofy amd it escalated to something more

[issuesh]

bro's smoking in the rain is he stupid🤨

[bellnallart]

I found a whole new way To love you

[autumncolorsfall]

homestuck "canon"? what are you talking about? this is midnight city. problem sleuth is a carapacian and spades slick's groupie who follows him around on heist-related hijinks. not pictured is snowman, who is doing fine but would not be caught dead riding with either of them

(YOUTUBE LINK)

[lonogic]

[problemsleuth]

sorry if this has been done already

[inkwell-intermission]

DAY 3 - Four Kingdoms (i’m playing catch-up pretty hard due to other stuff i need to do, but better late than never?)

[volatile-shorty]

i was thinking about what if i had a bi partner and we both saw someone pretty walk by and wed both go daaaamn theyre fine

[booze-hats]

Job Interview

"I thought you hated everything."

The words kept echoing through Spades Slick's head. I thought you hated everything. He didn't hate the whiskey sour in front of him and he didn't hate the table in front of the booth he liked to sit at, even if he hated the cushion he'd singlehandedly worn down since the last time he remodeled the club. He didn't hate the club, either. He didn't know if he hated the guy on the other cushion, though. He did hate that it was probably more comfortable to sit on the other side, sure, but that had nothing to do with his complicated feelings surrounding Problem Sleuth.

A hand crossed his vision and Slick looked up. "Hey, Earth to Spades, buddy. Can you hear me over there? I said I thought you hated everything."

Slick scowled at the hand, batting at it angrily. "I don't hate everything. How the hell would you know what I'm in the business of hating anyway?"

"I don't. I'm just getting my ducks in a row." The detective flashed one of those award-winning shit-eating grins in Slick's direction. He could've stabbed the stupid son of a bitch over it, too. Instead of reaching for the knife in his pocket, though, he picked up his drink and shook his head. And Sleuth, ever-aware, mirrored the motion strategically, at least, that what Slick thought. Lawmen did it to him before, acting all natural and coping comfortable gestures for the sake of rapport and intel. "Figuring out the business you wanted with me. Usually you're not telling me to sit down."

"Yeah, well, some fish ain't big enough for me to fry, I figure if rumors're true and you're lookin' for a job, you can finally do something useful in this city."

As expected, that knocked the smarmy look off the bastard's face. It fell kind of slowly and a light left his eyes, which cut across the bar. It made Slick tilt his head and raise his eyebrows in fascination. He'd seen it a thousand times before, but this time, it was interesting. Sleuth paused for a second before getting his next line out.

"Didn't know it was a rumor." "Mhm."

For maybe a solid ninety seconds, the affirmative hum hung in the air between them. It felt like Slick waited, and waited, and kept waiting for the guy to say anything. He could ponder the public state of his finances all he wanted, he wasn't going to make any more money sitting there looking stupid. If Sleuth wanted to waste time looking stupid, he could, at least until the end of his ninety seconds, when Slick got bored of waiting. That's how it usually went, anyway. He didn't usually study the guy's facial expressions either, though.

Slick sighed dramatically after a hundred seconds this go around, reaching across the table. He patted Sleuth on the face condescendingly, a little too rough. The detective pulled away from his hand, looking... Surprised. Slick was surprised to see him look surprised. It was better than when he looked all snarky, with those stupid green eyes blown all wide, it was almost funny. Sleuth cleared his throat. "What was that?"

"Makin' sure you was still with me. You want the job or not?" "What's the job?"

That's what Slick hoped to hear. He sat back against his booth, digging in his pockets before sliding a folding and crumpled piece of paper across the table. Sleuth wasted no time in opening it up and examining the contents. The map was crudely drawn and the handwriting was barely legible, exactly what was expected of the esteemed Spades Slick, but it was certainly a map. He's able to discern the docks and identify a few labels on the warehouses, which Sleuth determined, was probably sufficient. One of those warehouses were marked, distinguished from the others by a star drawn across it.

"I got a bug problem." "A bug problem?" "Mhm. Infestation. Sons of bitches won't get outta my fuckin' warehouse."

Sleuth looked at the map incredulously, then back at Slick. "I wear a lot of hats, Spades, but uh, I'm not an exterminator. I've fixed roach infestations in my own apartment but-"

"Not... Literally, fuckin' twit." "Then I'm going to need you to clarify what, exactly, you expect me to do here." "I was gettin' there before you started talkin' about hats. I want you to go clear 'em out. Spook 'em. Make 'em think the law's on their asses. Just run 'em out, ring the number on the back, and you're done. Easy work."

Sleuth sighed, looking back at the map in front of him. He'd lived in Midnight City for some years now, he'd worked briefly on the city's police force, and for more than that, he'd been chasing down Spades Slick. If he knew anything, he knew that there was no such thing as easy work in Midnight City, and Slick certainly didn't have a habit of sharing the easy parts of work with anyone but himself. He flipped the page to look at the phone number before looking back at the mobster in front of him and weighing his options.

"Fine."

Slick reached out for a handshake and Sleuth returned it, folding the paper and sliding it into his pocket. "Great. I'll be waitin'."

Sleuth stood up. "Mhm."

==>

[hippoinspector]

happy birthday @problemsleuth 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[frogisanut]

is this fukcing ANYTHING!!!!!!!

[issuesh]

does 'cannibalism as a metaphor for desire/love' work if one of them is a dog

[boxedivy]

ssps for a friend :)

[eyeballjazz]

It was @problemsleuth‘s bday so our server went stealth mode and made them a gallery of birthday art. Here’s my contribution, keeping it classy as usual

[ontdah]

[S] SS: Ballin'

[problemsleuth]

yeah thats right you two bit fuck whos the tall bastard now