#Sev is Harry's dad/guardian

[ashtonlc3]

Severitus/Sevitus Fic Rec

Thought I’d share my own personal fic list that I’ve complied over time featuring Snape and Harry developing some kind of father-son relationship, all the way through either bio-dad, adoption, guardian or mentorship. All of these fics are COMPLETE because after OME leaving me on the world’s biggest cliff hanger and losing the fic for many months because I’m an idiot, I have serious WIP trust issues. They’re also usually really long because I love angsty, slow-burn fics.

I started taking in-depth notes while I read through fics a while ago so that I would NEVER lose a favourite fic again (the title of one of my favs is in Latin, so I never remember what it’s called). And also because I have a terrible memory so remembering what happened in each fic is quite difficult for me. Assuming I know how to count there should be over 16 fics listed here.

I’ve also rated each fic out of 10 and added a couple of notes for each fic (I didn’t add any with a rating of 5 or lower cause these are meant to be recommendations not a reading log). I’ve put them in order of how much I liked them, 10 and 9s being my equivalent to an Outstanding, 8 and 7 an Exceeds Expectations and a 6 an Acceptable.

TW: As is usually the case with Severitus fics, ALL of these fics have some degree of child abuse in them, courtesy of the Dursleys (I mean it’s literally canon). The severity and type of abuse varies greatly across fics. Fics with highly graphic depictions of physical abuse will have an additional TW. (Also if I miss any TWs for fics feel free to let me know I’d be more than happy to add them).

< 70K

In Care Of By Fang’s Fawn 

Rating: 10/10 Word Count: 47K+

This fic is a MUST read for new and hardcore severitus fans alike. The characterisation is perfect, the plot is believable, the pacing is great, the writing quality is good and it's incredibly angsty.

TW graphic depictions of physical abuse

> 70K

O Mine Enemy By Kirby Lane

Rating: 10/10 Word Count: 373K+

You’ve probably already read this one because it is legendary in the Severitus genre and a staple for any fic list. In the event that you haven’t, you SHOULD read it ASAP. Starts summer of sixth year. 

TW addiction/substance abuse

Victus per Reproba Monumentum By firefly5151

Rating: 9/10  Word Count: 292K+ 

For a long time I didn’t read anything that had Sev as Harry’s bio dad, it felt implausible, OOC and just was not as good as the guardian/mentor trope. That is until I read this fic, and now the bio-dad trope is my favourite. This fic is the Snape of Severitus, there are a LOT of flaws but I love it anyway. The plot is a bit questionable, it has manipulativeDumbledore (which I don’t like in fics) and Ron and Hermione pretty much forget Harry exists. BUT the emotional journey is amazing, and really angsty. Starts during summer of 6th year.

The Subterfuge By Murai-Sakura

Rating: 9/10  Word Count: 304K+

This fic is on the newer side having been written in 2020. My first time reading this fic I had a few mixed feelings about it which made me reluctant to read it again despite really liking it. Reading it again for the second time I can’t understand what past Ash’s problem was because it was magnificent. Granted I remember it being darker than it actually is (it may have been due to me reading The Hunger Games in-between, who knows). I’m rambling, in short I think I liked this one a little more than A Year Like None Other. The plot is unique enough that the story doesn’t feel like your reading a rehash of every Severitus fic ever while still hitting the emotional points necessary for a satisfying fic. It’s definitely more mentor than father figure and is set during fifth year so watch out for Umbridge.

TW suicide attempt and graphic child abuse 

A Year Like None Other By aspeninthesunlight

Rating: 9/10  Word Count: 789K+

Another classic whose reputation speaks for its-self, written before HBP came out and is also insanely long. I’ve actually never read the sequals either because one was enough for me and it’s in Draco’s pov. It also has the added bonus of brother bonding between Draco and Harry. Set during 6th year. 

TW self harm and graphic torture

Perception is Everything By Kendra James

Rating: 8/10  Word Count: 165K+

This was one of the first few Severitus fics I ever read so it has a very special place in my heart despite the plot being a very standard Severitus setup. Set Christmas 6th year, Snape finds out about the Dursleys abuse when Harry gets sick over Christmas break.

You've forgotten who I am By CastlePheonix

Rating: 8/10  Word Count: 114K+

I’ve only read this one once so I’m taking past Ash’s word for it. Set during 5th year, a what if Snape actually hit Harry with the jar after the Pensieve incident. Harry gets temporary amnesia and spends some time in Spinner’s End with Snape. 

TW addiction/substance abuse

Whelp & Whelp II - The Wrath of Snape By jharad17

Rating: 7/10  Word Count: 75K+ & 80K+

The standard run down; the Dursleys are dicks, Sev finds out. This is pre-Hogwarts (7 years old) so you know Harry is going to be adorable and clingly. Vernon has Harry tied up in the yard like a dog.

Namesake Necklace By WiCeBa

Rating: 7/10  Word Count: 121K+

This fic is a little more recent I think. Set summer before the start of 5th year, Harry and Dudley are de-aged. This ones quite the adventure and Sirius is still alive so you know there’s gonna be a fight over Harry.

What I Must Ask You To Do By VeraRose19

Rating: 7/10  Word Count: 261K+

Set at the end of GOF and continues into 7th year. This story is not just a Severitus but also an exploration of the blossoming friendship and eventual  romance (the Sirius Black/Severus Snape is very minor and DOESN’T have any NSFW content, they don’t even kiss in the fic) between Severus and Sirius as they co-parent Harry together. The story is far fluffier than it is angsty and relies quite heavily on canon for plot whilst also taking out the adventure and death toll. It’s more a fluffy, canon, best case scenario than an angsty, slow-burn fic.

Emerald eyes By JadeSullivan

Rating: 7/10  Word Count: 120K+

I cannot remember this one at all so once again I’m taking past Ash’s word for it. This is set during 2nd year and does feature corporal punishment.

Prisoners By Whitetail

Rating: 7/10  Word Count: 119K+

Harry is de-aged to 4 and Sev has partial paralysis. So they stay at a little cottage by the sea. Hermione features quite heavily in this one, both her and Harry end up with Sev gaining guardianship of them.

To Recollect the Future By oliversnape

Rating: 7/10  Word Count: 71K+

When Harry is hit with the killing curse in DH Harry and Sev are sent back to first yeah. Harry and Sev pretty much spend the whole fic Horcrux hunting, its a fun bonding experience.

In plain sight & Close to the Chest By waitingondaisies

Rating: 7/10  Word Count: 93K+ & 37K+

This is always a fun one. Set during 6th year, Sev found out as a spy so Albus turns him into a 16 year old Gryffindor and gives him an embarrassing name. Seriously Albus, Alfonse “Eli” Hopkirk, really? 

Time Left Today By gzdacz

Rating: 7/10  Word Count: 84K+

Sev and Harry are on the run after Quirrell is killed by an 11 year old. The road trip is quite fun although I don’t really like the ending too much though.

The Trouble with Polyjuice By LilyEvansDouble 6/10

Rating: 6/10  Word Count: 120K+

2nd year. Features Snape as Harry’s biological father after the Polyjuice incident.

Summer of Bonding By Magica Draconia 6/10

Rating: 6/10  Word Count: 76K+

This one is set after PS as the Dursley never pick Harry up from Kings Cross so Harry stays with Snape. Snape collects horse figurines in this one and is very heavily featured in this story. So its a bit too niche for my liking but otherwise still a good read.

And that’s all I got. I’ll probably come back to this list (yeah cause I forgot to put in tags) and add more fics as I read them. (When I add new fics I’ll reblog this post with a change log so you don't need to read through the list again to figure out what’s been changed.) My TBR is usually just as long so ... to forever be continued.

[zephahhhh]

Severitus thoughts:

Severus being the most protective parent™ of all time and lost his shit whenever someone try to hurt Harry goddamn Potter, including Harry himself.

Constantly telling Sirius to piss off after he escaped Azkaban because though he's Harry's godfather (more like, dogfather), he is Harry's guardian, he raised that lil brat for years and he knows way better. Harry was like, ldc, I'm happy to have dads (including Remus obviously bc he is with Sirius, or them three are in a poly relationship)

Since Harry can't live in the castle before he's old enough to go to school, they have a small house in Hogsmead, and the staffs take turns to look after Harry when Severus' on night duty. And in daytimes he just stay in teacher's office reading or drawing, or doing learning sheets Severus gave him.

Severus let him sleep with him at night until Harry started to feel embarrassing and have his own room.

Harry call Severus "dad" or "Sev"

Idk I just jumped into the fantastic world of severitus and can't stop thinking about it

[licnbcrn]

Headcanon: Relationship: Severus

So, I saw this quote on here that I was going to reblog, but I was reading it, and it prompted some sort of high headcanon and realization about Lily’s relationship with Severus Snape.

The quote was:

“There is no hate born such as that born out of love betrayed -- and my brain screamed out for revenge.”  - V.C. Andrews, Flowers in the Attic

And, like, no one has ever asked me about my headcanons for Sev, A.K.A her best fucking friend. He was her brother -- like, .once he finally came up to her, once he finally showed her she wasn’t alone? Endgame. She spent every moment she could with him and told him everything. And he told her -- she knew what his home life was like, knew about his childlike hopes and dreams were. She knew he preferred ice pops over ice cream, and every summer in Cokeworth, she would make sure her mum kept the refrigerator stocked full of them. And if things ever got scary with his dad? He could always come get her and she’d sneak out and stay all night out with him.

She would have, at one point, died for him. At least, in the concept that children think of it. Children don’t really have a concept of anything, and as they are exposed to more and more stimuli. That’s the whole process of growing-up, of being able to process more emotions and information and formulate actual opinions on things. So, she and Severus are super close until they enter Hogwarts.

So, here they are, having entirely different experiences in school. They’re in different houses, different sides of the castle, don’t have the exact same class schedule, etc. They start making other friends, and see each other during the classes they do have in common (potions, history of magic, and defense against the dark arts) and on weekends. Starting in her third year, the only elective she takes is care of magical creatures, which severus does as well. The dueling club is started up by the headboy and headgirl as well as the current DADA professor (Lily eventually becomes captain of this in her 6th year ) and that is always on sunday mornings) She also makes the Quidditch team third year as a seeker (james made the quidditch team the year before, surprising everyone because he wasn’t even 13), and so she has early morning practices, and practice after her care of magical creatures class. I’d imagine Severus never really went to Quidditch after the first few games, as he would be alone in the Gryffindor section (house rivalries and it didn’t seem like he had a ton of actual friends outside slytherin house.)  but, they always had holidays off together and they were still close --- outside of school

Point is, her schedule gets busy. They spend more and more time apart, they develop different relationships (and yes, I’m a firm believer that lily & james were friends as well, and this became more of a break between the) and perhaps more to my character, lily starts realizing there’s a war going on that’s been going on for years (i imagine things had been brewing for a long time)

Sure, she’d been exposed to the word “mudblood” before, she had been openly called it, and had stood up against the slurs and and helped younger students  But the war was something that she only read about sometimes in the Daily Prophet. It wasn’t something she understood. It’s third year the first time kids at school started disappearing. Some, went into hiding, others? Others died. A tiny hufflepuff in her herbology class, dione fawcett, and her whole family were murdered. Suddenly, those whispers started getting more frequent, she was quick to defend those younger than her, those who were quieter (including severus from james -- but she recognized that severus gave as good as he got ). She started getting in more fights, both duels and fist fights.

In her 4th year, she got into a fight with the wrong people.i will write a headcanon about it some other time, but it’s pretty graphic what happened. So, not for now.

So, this war starts affecting her greatly. Suddenly, she’s openly hostile towards severus’ friends, who associate with the people who hurt her, and she’s quick to bark at severus for mentioning the things he’s reading about. They start to drift apart.

At the end of her 4th year (1975) the ministry starts realizing a lot of people (inspired by muggle culture all around them during the time) start protesting and demanding the ministry do something to keep these muggleborn families safe. It’s the idea that eventually spurs the Muggle Born Registration Commision. It’s the Muggleborn Protection Act. The law was shoddy, hurried through, and influenced by many people who supported Voldemort secretly. It required all muggleborn students register their names and addresses, so that more patrols could be posted around their families homes; and it limited the number of jobs muggleborns could hold. This last part was to keep muggleborns from high - profile, high risk jobs, such as Aurors, ministry officials, medi wizards.

Well, eventually, someone was able to get the list of muggle families that currently had muggleborn children. Tiny articles in the Daily Prophet appearing about them every once in a while began appearing -- it became a sort of initiation for younger Voldemort supports to kill these families. Preferably, with the magic children inside.

December 15th, 1975, Lily went into London with Petunia and her friends to go dress shopping for Petunia’s wedding dress -- Vernon had proposed the month before, and they wanted a March wedding. That night, when they arrived home, the Dark Mark could still be seen above their house, Aurors and Obliviators everywhere. They were asked to identify their parents, to answer questions, and have social workers from the Ministry come and talk to them -- Petunia was of age, and could be Lily’s legal guardian ---

Except, petunia wanted nothing to do with lily -- this was, lily’s fault after all. Lily was the freak. Lily had as good as killed them. So, she was taken to a foster family.

So, Lily’s lost her innocence, her family, her life. And she can feel herself losing Severus. But she’s angry, so angry. And she’s lashing out -- at everyone. At Severus. She doesn’t understand -- he was her best friend. And yet, he hung around Voldemort supporters. She couldn’t stand it. They were arguing more. Eventually, that led to the scene in SWM.

Now, she doesn’t hate Severus at this point -- she just can’t be friends with him. She doesn’t want to. She doesn’t have the energy to. So, she avoids him.

She doesn’t hate him, not even after her joins the Death Eaters (she hears rumors, of course. There are a lot of rumors. She mourns him, yes, because he is gone just as so many she loves are gone.

No, the day she begins to hate Severus Snape is the day when Albus Dumbledore shows up at the country manor, to tell young Mr. and Mrs. Potter that, due to a prophecy, and the speakings of a Death Eater. Voldemort may be after their son. Albus knew the Potters very well, and he saw Harry as the key to stopping Tom Riddle. The couple had already been laying low after Harry’s birth, but this sealed the deal. They would go into hiding. James was the one to ask if the Death Eater who had heard the prophecy was caught and identified.

“Caught, no. Identified, yes. It was Severus Snape.” Dumbledore would have had his reasonings behind telling them, but i believe he would have because in some, Dumbledore way, cared for them, and he knows they would have wanted to know the truth.

So, this was long and took forever, but yeah.

[jbankai89]

The Stag and The Snake, Part I, Chapter Nine - Preparations

My good friend and braintwin @kuriquinn suggested I try posting my actual fics on Tumblr, rather than just linking them, so I'm giving it a try. For those of you following my work on AO3 or AFF, these will be reposts until I'm caught up and everything is posted. :)

Title: The Stag and the Snake

Author: JBankai89

Status: Complete, Part 1: 12/12 Part 2: 22/22

Rating: Part 1: PG-13, Part 2: NC-17 Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin

Achievements: None

Warnings: Violence and Gore, Violent Sexual Assault, Minor Character Death

Summary: Vernon Dursley is enraged with the prospect of raising a boy he never wanted. Petunia recalls something that might help them get the child out of their hair more quickly. Overcoming their recalcitrance for anything magical, they invoke The Rite of Betrothal. Who will Harry be forced to marry, and will he be able to cope with all the demands it will entail?

Word Count: Part 1: 46 772 Part 2: 85 442

Other Links: AO3, AFF, LJ

Notes: Please note that this fic also contains Evil!Snape, which is a trope I hate, because Sev is my favourite character, but for the purposes of this story, he worked best.

This fic is based on the story of The Swan Princess, which I will be following the canon of in conjunction with the HP canon. Canon divergences include Voldemort is definitely dead, Lucius Malfoy is a bit OOC, and Sirius did not go to Azkaban. Because most of the story takes place before and after Hogwarts, a lot of the Hogwarts years are glossed over. I tried to keep the links and stuff organized how they did it on the old LJ group MyChemicalSlash, so I hope this is clean enough for you guys to follow easily.

Previous Chapter

Fic Masterpost

Chapter 9 – Preparations

They arrived at King's Cross Station far too quickly for Harry's taste. He had gone over the details of the contract with Ron and Hermione at least half a dozen times, and Hermione had been adamant that there had to be a way to break the contract safely, while Ron scoffed and offered unhelpful commentary. 

“Yeah, brilliant,” he said, “if you want to off Harry, then go right ahead.” Hermione's frustration would flare, and Harry watched the pair of them get so caught up in their own bickering match that they seemed to momentarily forget that he was even there. Harry sank back into his seat at these times and patiently waited for their anger to burn out.

When Harry got off the train, his gloom was hanging over his head like a rain cloud. He did not fail to notice that his friends were watching him like one might watch the last walk of a condemned man, and Harry had no idea whether he should be irritated at this or not.

Draco exited the train two cars over, and in his peripheral vision he saw Ron lurch forward. He and Hermione, both sensing the danger, reached out to grab him.

“Don't,” Harry muttered to him, determinedly not looking over to Draco, “it's not worth it.”

“You probably won't need to bond with the git if he's dead,” Ron murmured back in protest, “or at least horribly disfigured.” Harry snorted, and Hermione rolled her eyes.

“C'mon,” Harry said, ignoring Ron's comment, and led the way to the barrier.

Outside, he found Sirius and Remus waiting for him, and despite the ever-present melancholy that had plagued him since early that morning, he couldn't help but smile. It was a nice feeling to see people happy to see him for a change, instead of the slumped, ill-tempered form of Uncle Vernon waiting to take him “home” for several weeks of misery.

“Harry,” Sirius said in greeting before he pulled him in for a one-armed hug, “end of term went well?”

“You mean despite a certain someone's pestering and nagging?” Harry grinned at Sirius's abashed smile. Remus chuckled while he watched the exchange with his arms crossed. He nodded over Harry's shoulder, and he saw Ron and Hermione come into view behind him. The group shifted out of the way of the barrier, his two friends looking slightly apprehensive, as if they didn't know what to say.

“They know,” Harry filled in after a moment of awkward silence. Sirius had stepped back, and he exchanged a look of mild surprise with Remus. They both looked over to his friends, who gazed back at his guardians with questioning and angry looks. Sirius deflated a little, and his guilt was obvious to Harry, though he wasn't entirely certain if Ron and Hermione had noticed it.

“If it makes you both feel any better, we want this about as much as you two do. I suppose it doesn't look that way because Remus and I have had time to get used to the idea,” Sirius said, while Remus reached out and clasped his husband's hand, and Harry did not fail to notice more than a few muggles look back at them with a scowl of disapproval, which everyone assembled completely ignored. “But Ron, you at least understand the implications of breaking the contract at this stage. It could kill Harry, Draco, or both of them.”

“Yeah, I know,” Ron replied at once with a frown. Hermione looked like she wanted to protest, but Ron gave her a significant look, and for once, she fell silent. “I think I'd be more okay with it if he wasn't gonna be bonded to an evil git.”

Harry and Sirius both snorted with repressed laughter at the same time, while Remus and Hermione looked on with eerily mirrored looks of disapproval.

“I'll try and get you invites to this Lughnasadh thing,” Harry said after a moment, cringing inwardly at the words. “It'd be nice to have someone around that isn't a prejudiced bastard.”

“We'd love to,” Hermione replied at once, smiling warmly, while she reached in for a tight hug. For a split second, Harry worried that she might not let go, but then she pulled back. He could see how forced the smile was, and her eyes looked so sad that he felt his stomach twist guiltily, though he couldn't quite pinpoint why he felt guilty. “There's mum and dad,” she said after a moment, “I better go. Write me this summer, yeah?”

“Definitely,” Harry replied, and smiled as he watched her hurry off towards her parents. He then noticed a cluster of flaming red hair coming towards them, and he smiled as he recognized Mrs Weasley, Mr Weasley, Ginny, Fred, and George approaching them.

“Harry dear,” Mrs Weasley said in greeting, and pulled him in for a warm hug. “Did you have a good term?”

“I—yeah, it was fine,” Harry replied as he smiled at her in what he hoped was a reassuring way, but her eyes still looked a little sad. Did she know?

“I know you have a busy summer ahead of you, but do try and come visit us, dear. We'd love to have you again.” The twins exchanged muted smirks behind their mother's back, and Harry felt his stomach drop a little. Oh yeah, he thought to himself, they definitely know.

“I'd like that, Mrs Weasley,” Harry replied, meaning it. She smiled and pulled him in for another hug.

“Take care of yourself, Harry,” Mr Weasley said, and reached out to grab his shoulder after his wife had let him go. Harry nodded, hoping his smile appeared more genuine than it felt to him. Mr Weasley released his shoulder and he shook hands with both Sirius and Remus, before bidding him one last farewell as the family turned and headed towards the exits. Ron turned back once, and offered him a small smile and a half-wave.

“C'mon, Harry,” Sirius said with a small grin, grasping his shoulder, “let's go home.” Harry smiled, and felt some of his gloom leave him at those words.

~*~

The trip home was much faster than normal, given that Harry could now legally apparate.

Sirius helped Harry carry his trunk inside the building, then Harry used a levitation charm to manoeuvre it up the many flights of stairs and into the flat.

The inside was just how Harry had remembered it. Mismatched armchairs and a threadbare sofa before a crackling fire, old and fraying carpets covering the cold stone, and a warm feeling of home. Harry could also smell something wonderful. He loved Remus's cooking, which almost put Mrs Weasley's to shame—not that he was ever brave enough to ever tell her so.

“Hungry?” Sirius asked as he set Harry's trunk next to the door. Harry placed Hedwig down next to it, opened the cage door and she fluttered out to join Archimedes on top of one of the bookcases. The ancient, half blind owl squawked and clicked his beak irritably at Hedwig before they both settled down together, Hedwig careful to give the cranky old thing some space.

“Starving,” he replied with a small grin, “what's on? It smells great.” He fell into step with Sirius, and saw a large serving pot of lamb stew on the table, charmed to stay hot, as well as a loaf of fresh bread. Next to his usual place setting was a small square something, wrapped roughly in light brown paper. He turned to look at them, then reached out to pick up the small parcel. “What's this?”

“Something of a welcome home present,” Sirius said, his mouth twitching a little in the corners. “Go on, open it.”

Harry hesitated for a moment, then tore away the paper. In his hands was a journal with a glossy leather cover, though after a moment he noticed the faint green sheen the leather seemed to carry, and he realized that it wasn't leather, but dragonhide. Harry loosed the clasp that held it closed to look inside, and indented in gold on the inside cover were the initials, 'H.J.P.L.B'.

Harry blinked in confusion, then looked back up to the pair.

“What...?” Harry didn't know exactly what he wanted to ask.

Neither of the men answered for a moment, then Sirius reached inside his robes and pulled out a slightly creased scroll of parchment.

“You're technically of age,” Sirius explained, “but we've been wanting to do this for a long time...” he passed the scroll to Harry for him to read, and he nearly dropped the journal in his hands from shock.

The parchment was a Ministry form, and across the top it read, 'Petition for Adoption'.

“Since you're an adult, we'd need your consent,” Sirius finished, and his attempt at a nonchalant tone did not completely conceal his nervousness at how Harry might react.

Instead of answering, Harry sat down with the form and his new journal, opened it to the first page, and grabbed a self-inking quill off the counter.

“Today,” Harry said as he wrote, “Sirius and Remus asked me to be their son,” he paused and looked up at them. “And I said yes.”

It was the best night of Harry's life. He ate, drank and celebrated with his new, official, legal family—not just guardians, not just in name. They sent off Hedwig with the signed papers right away, and Harry had never before felt such excitement in sending off owl post. Remus rounded off the evening with a celebratory toast of expensive champagne and a sumptuous opera cake, and Sirius shot off a few close-range fireworks with his wand.

Harry went to bed that night exhausted but perfectly happy for the first time in weeks. He promised himself to remember to send Hedwig to Ron and Hermione with the news when she got back, and fell asleep that night with a smile spread across his face.

~*~

As the Summer began to progress, Harry's joy began to ebb, and his dread surrounding his betrothal returned. It was just over a month until the Ball where his bonding would be announced, and Sirius and Remus punctuated his lazy summer relaxation with classical dance lessons, fussing over the perfect dress robes for the occasion, and his morning lie-ins were interrupted more than once by howlers from Lucius as the two sets of parents argued over whom to invite.

Harry was grateful that he had Ron and Hermione to vent to at least, even if they had no idea how to advise him. More than once, it helped to reign in his burning desire to suffocate Sirius and Remus with a pillow, but did little in the way of helping him get through the near-constant nagging, nor their reprimands whenever he dared scoff at their attitude towards the whole thing.

“Harry,” Sirius, Remus, or the pair of them had told him on more than one occasion, “this evening is extremely important. It's essential that you make the right impression.” Harry would roll his eyes every time they said this, but offered up no verbal complaints, not exactly keen to be told off—again.

No word of the so-called 'main event' of the evening had made the papers. The Ball had been mentioned several times, and Harry supposed someone—Lucius, most likely—was forcing the Prophet to keep it quiet. Harry was grateful for that; he was definitely not looking forward to the paparazzi firestorm that would inevitably follow the announcement of his engagement to Draco Malfoy.

Halfway through July, Harry found himself standing on a small stool in the centre of the sitting room, an enormous pile of dress robes draped over the sofa, with Madam Malkin tutting and circling him, while Sirius and Remus stood out of hexing reach (after Harry had hit them both with a particularly well-aimed Silencing Charm) and threw in comments and criticism.

“No, the red is too flashy...”

“It needs to be tighter across the chest...”

“Are you sure the neckline isn't too deep?”

“No sequins, Remus!”

“Would you two stop?” Harry finally snapped at the pair of them, after shrugging out of a particularly itchy and tight set of robes. “I'm not a bloody doll. Draco and I won't like each other any better even if we're both in designer robes.” He shuddered a little as images of what he assumed a wizarding fashion show would look like, with himself in various horrid 'fashion' robes popped into his head.

“All right, sorry, Harry,” Remus smirked a little at his outburst. It was a strange expression to see on a man that was normally so zen. Harry had no idea what that expression was supposed to mean, but he resigned himself to trying on more clothes than he probably ever had in his entire life. Sirius and Remus nodded or shook their heads at each new outfit he was supposed to try, though they offered no more remarks.

Harry almost cheered when he was told he could get down. He rushed into his T-shirt and jeans before anyone could change their minds, and Madam Malkin flicked her wand to arrange the robes in a neat stack, then shrunk them to the size of a glove before she stowed them in a drawstring bag.

“Gentlemen,” she said, nodding to each of them in turn, “I will go over the adjustments you wanted, and I will be in touch next week.” She smiled at Harry, and he felt his face tint pink when he saw her eyes flick momentarily to his scar.

“I can't wait,” Harry muttered, and he was relieved when the elderly witch finally took her leave.

~*~

“Harry, I know it's not exactly fun but don't you think you're being a little, well, overdramatic?”

Harry was sitting in his bedroom with the door shut. Ron and Hermione were sitting across from him, a jar of Hermione's trademark blue flames crackling merrily in a jam jar between them. Harry didn't immediately answer Hermione's question, and instead chose to glare sullenly at the tiny fire.

“It's a nightmare, Hermione,” he said at last, “they're acting like Ron's mum did leading up to Bill and Fleur's wedding.” Harry looked up to watch their expressions shift from mild disbelief to outright horror. “Except about a hundred times worse. They keep dressing me up like a goddamn doll or something—as if Draco will like me any better in blue, or green, or whatever next horrific set of robes they make me try on.”

Ron and Hermione exchanged a look, but neither spoke right away. Harry took the opportunity to fill the silence with more complaining.

“Oh, guess what they're making me do next week? A makeover. Haircut, facial, manicure, pedicure...” Harry shuddered. “I'm starting to wonder if hexing them until this is all over isn't such a terrible idea, after all.” Hermione pursed his lips as Ron snickered next to her. After a moment, her face softening a little as Ron reached out and twisted a few of his fingers with hers.

“They just want you to look your best for your big night,” Ron said, unable to completely erase the amusement from his voice. Harry pelted him with a wrapped chocolate frog, and he caught it with a small smirk as he continued, “anyway, it's not so bad. Mum made Bill do all that before his wedding. It's not like they paint your nails magenta or anything, they just clean you up a bit, that's all.” This information made Harry relax a little, though he still didn't love the idea of a stranger pawing at his hands and feet for an hour.

Around midday, Remus knocked and came in with sandwiches.

“Thanks mum,” Harry said with a grin to his retreating figure, and the comment earned him a light smack upside the head, while Ron snickered softly.

“He hates it when I call him that,” Harry explained as he helped himself to one of the sandwiches.

“I'll bet,” Ron replied with another short laugh, though it was muffled by his overlarge mouthful of roast beef.

“Really,” Hermione said with a small huff, “you shouldn't do that, Harry. It's really rude!”

“Do what?”

“Assign gender roles to Sirius and Remus as if one has to be the mother figure and the other has to be the father figure!”

“I'm not! If anything, Sirius is the mother hen here, but Remus does all the cooking like your mum does,” Harry said while nodding towards Ron, “it's just fun to poke fun at him about it from time to time, that's all. It's not like I actually mean anything by it.”

“Sirius? Really? I'd assume he'd be more...I dunno, gruff, or something.” Harry snorted at Hermione's statement.

“Yeah, I wish.”

Ron and Hermione stuck around for the rest of the day, making polite small talk over dinner with Sirius and Remus. They pointedly discussed anything but the enormous pile of dress robes Sirius had brought home with him. They stuck to safe topics instead—Hermione's plans to attend Muggle University, Ron's upcoming internship with the Auror Office, while skittering close to the topic of the upcoming Ball, but never actually going into it.

Harry was grateful for that, as beyond the upcoming Lughnasadh Ball—which still made him want to run away screaming—he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. He hadn't had a whole lot of time to consider it, and while at one time he wanted to join the Aurors with Ron, now he wasn't so sure.

Remus and Sirius had reminded him on more than one occasion that he didn't have to choose right away, and had hinted that he wouldn't have to work if he didn't want to. The Malfoy fortune he would inherit would probably keep him set for life, but the idea made Harry feel sick with a strange sense of guilt. He had always taken care of himself, more or less. He didn't like the idea of relying on anyone else like that.

When his friends had departed, Hermione Apparating, and Ron travelling by Floo back to The Burrow, Harry suddenly found himself alone with his parents, and a terrifying stack of robes.

“Breathe, Harry,” Sirius said with an amused grin, “we'll go through those tomorrow, all right?”

'There is a God,' Harry thought, and smiled a little at them. “Thanks. I'm gonna go read or something.”

He headed for his room before they could change their minds, and fell into bed. Harry rolled onto his side, left arm folded under his head, and he stared at the wardrobe across the room.

It was no longer the same beech wardrobe that had been there when he first arrived so many years before, and it had since been replaced with an oak one. There was a slight burn mark near the right handle, and there were indentations that had been varnished over, small reminders of the piece of furniture's age. Next to it, his trunk had been propped up. It had been emptied several weeks earlier, and looking at it now, Harry felt a strange pang of sadness. The trunk had seen him through the last seven years, and somehow knowing he wouldn't need it for the foreseeable future made him feel, if possible, even more depressed. He didn't move, but his eyes flicked across the belongings scattered around the room, feeling suddenly, strangely nostalgic at the sight of everything. Would this still be his home after the Ball?

Harry dozed, but didn't exactly sleep. He had forgotten to take off his glasses, and they had left angry red lines near his temples.

Groaning a bit, Harry sat up, took his glasses off, and set them down on the side table while he stretched, bones in his back and shoulders popping and cracking out their stiffness. He slipped off the bed and rubbed at the sore marks that had been left on his face, while he walked to his wardrobe. He fished out his pyjamas and had every intention of going back to sleep, but he paused when he heard a loud objection that could only come from his godfather.

Harry paused to listen, but the muffled sounds of Sirius and Remus's voices were suddenly too soft for Harry to hear clearly. While he knew he shouldn't, he pulled the pyjamas on as he pondered indulging his curiosity, or giving his parents their due privacy. Caving to his curiosity, Harry padded over to the door silently, he turned the handle as quietly as he could, and opened the door barely a hairline crack, and a thin line of flickering firelight spread over his bedroom floor. The sound wasn't much better, and Harry found himself wishing for a pair of Extendable Ears. He slid to the ground and pressed his ear against the tiny gap in an effort to hear them more clearly.

“Sirius, I'm just trying to look at this objectively.”

“Objectively?” He heard Sirius hiss in obvious anger, “Remus, you know damn well that we didn't sign those papers just because of the Rite.”

“I know, but it's just a precaution. After the debacle at the end of last year when those Death Eaters murdered Albus we need to make sure that the Dark forces think that it's just a legality, and that he still has Lily's protection. I don't like it any better than you do.”

“It's still fucking cold. How could we possibly tell Harry that? It's bad enough that he has to go through with this betrothal against his will, he'll think we never actually wanted him. I won't do that to him Remus, we've done enough damage already.” Harry heard a soft clink of a glass slamming down against the wooden table.

“Would you rather the bloodbath that would follow if a hoard of active Death Eaters showed up at the Lughnasadh Ball?”

“No, I suppose not,” Sirius paused, “but I won't lie to him about it. I won't do that to him anymore.” If Remus replied, Harry didn't hear it over the strange buzzing that seemed to suddenly fill his head.

Harry slid to the floor, and did not bother to try stifling the burning behind his eyes. He hid his face in his hands, and struggled to breathe; it felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room. He distantly heard his parents (how he used to love that word) get up and head to their bedroom, still muttering to one another heatedly. Harry swallowed his cries of anguish and frustration, while his entire form trembled.

A/N: The journal scene was pulled almost word-for-word from the American version of Queer As Folk. That scene will probably come off as cute or cheesy as hell, depending on your viewpoint :P

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