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themelodicenigma · 10 months

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***Long post, oh boy.

It is interesting that I've gotten some Asks about Fang and Vanille circulating on Twitter because of FFXVI. Lol I have seen the posts, and also the resistance of it from those who feel like it's looking down on Dion/Terrance (which I kind of agree with, let them have their spotlight).

Overall, we really just shouldn't care too much about that.

A lot of the fandom drama is just bleh at this point (really always was), and when you've seen SO much for years, it's easy to tell what is what. I mean, I'm now seeing people fighting over Jill/Clive of whether they're romantic or not, or if they align more with Clerith or Cloti. Lol Just why.

However, as for what some of ya'll requested from me about Fang and Vanille, to talk about how they're different from Jill/Clive or Vaan/Penelo—I mean, that's easy.

Jill/Clive? It's a random line in her young profile at the beginning that mentions Clive and Joshua "love her as a sister"—the same beginning that immediately has an NPC say Jill/Clive make a "handsome pair", show hardly any typical sibling action, dialogue, or contextual connotation between Jill/Clive in any scene (where they barely really interact until the Moon screen), and the interactions they do have don't really naturally fit into the box of "these two love each other as siblings or Clive views her as a younger sister". Apparently, it's also BOTH the ENG and JPN that mention a sibling relationship. Either way, the game also straight-forwardly writes them as romantic, so it doesn't matter even if it was true or not—unless you're trying to argue he thinks of her as both, there's no doubt they're romantic. Like, seriously, if you haven't finished the game well....trust, you'll find out they're romantic.

Vaan/Penelo? Well first, as far as I'm concerned, the BradyGames guide from years past is the one that carries the assumption that they're "brother and sister". Otherwise, the game, Ultimania, and even the Archive Ultimania only mention they're "like family"—in which case, this is obviously in reference to their orphan past where they were already childhood friends. Reks (Vaan's brother) went to war and Vaan's parents died, Vaan stays with Penelo's family as a result, and then soon after Penelo's parents ALSO died, and then now they BOTH were orphaned along with a bunch of other kids and grew up together working for Migelo as a group of orphans. It's not written for no reason or something that is not true—they're like family. And of course, you know that's a descriptor of a bond, of closeness—YOU can assume it defaults and is limited to a sibling relationship, but technically that's not true, and very often isn't. So, it doesn't even contrast their romanticism (which is hinted at in the 1st game, not just the 2nd), not to mention, it's not even a focus between their characters in the story. The friendship is really the focus, while the family aspect is more expressed for Vaan through dealing with his actual brother's death. The family in relation to their past and part of their bond is definitely a thing, don't get me wrong, but it's hardly emphasized within the game and a center for what they express about and to each other. That'd be the friendship, you just also happen to have romanticism applied eventually as well.

Fang and Vanille, though? It's the major focus of their characters, the family concept flows through them intentionally, consistently, and is also specific to being as sisters. Not to mention, it then is applicable to ALL things shown between them and EXPLAINS their behavior towards each other. In the Games, FFXIII and FFXIII World Previews, Ultimanias + Other credible guides like Piggyback, VA interviews, novelizations—this never stops being true for them and something implemented more than you'd EVER see between Clive/Jill or Vaan/Penelo. And it all "coincidentally" flows together as a whole for the family/sister application.

FFXIII World Preview - their introduction on the relationship chart is "same family surname". Even before the game's release, the family connotation is applied to them. While we learn the REASON in-world is because of them being from the same village, this more than obviously is for the purpose of serving the continuous family connotation THROUGH Fang and Vanille specifically to emphasis this, as supported by all other points below. Also, just a small thought, why choose this to introduce the characters mysteriously, and then later have a plethora of familial confirmations, if it's something that isn't representative of exactly what it foretells?

FFXIII Ultimania Chart - "relationship like sisters", enough said. Unlike Vaan/Penelo, it specifies WHAT family relationship they have. They didn't pull back from "same family surname", they took it steps further. The relationship chart is informative of something about the characters, and obviously the content can show something more than just the chosen moniker (e.g. Aqua/Terra/Ven aren't just "fellow pupils"), but it also isn't something that is FALSE information unless the content TELLS you it's false. It normally doesn't, and certainly didn't for Fang and Vanille, as per below.

FFXIII Scenario Ultimania, Archive Ultimania, LR Complete Guide - literally, everywhere, ESPECIALLY in writings relative to Fang, who is the older sister, protector, and most concerned over the other—this also correlates to why Fang's character centers around Vanille's more than the other way around (more on that later). Her descriptions really capture WHY she is the way she is towards Vanille and why the center of her character is protecting Vanille and keeping her from turning into a Cie'th. The FFXIII Scenario Ultimania even directly says in Fang's profile "Vanille is not just a childhood friend from the same hometown" and guess what works alongside this description: "To Fang, Vanille is an irreplaceable family member", "grew up like sisters", "they have a bond beyond family", “Since the original Final Fantasy XIII, Fang has always strived to protect Vanille, considering her as her own family", etc. etc. etc. Family, family, family. Being friends is absolutely a thing, don't get it twisted, but the family aspect not only in retrospect to growing up together, but in HOW they see each other, is consistent, ESPECIALLY for Fang. The Lightning Returns Complete Guide is from Piggyback, who is known for having the developers involved in the conception of their guides as well, and Toriyama himself is quoted in the book saying Fang considers Vanille as family.

FFXII Scenario Ultimania Stories - As a bonus, in Benny Matsuyama's short stories for all the characters, including separately in both Fang and Vanille's stories—in both stories, he doubles down on the same things as above, describing how Fang has this strong conviction and vow of protecting Vanille, who is like her younger sister, and wants to stop her from becoming a Cie'th. While Matsuyama's canonicity through BentStuff is a complete other conversation, there is the consideration of the fact he's reiterating something that has already been applied as opposed to making it up, not to mention, his novella and the character he created in the FFXIII Ultimania Omega were made canon, and he's in the staff credits for Lightning Returns.

FFXIII Ultimania Omega Interview - even Fang's VA mentions how "To Fang, Vanille is like a younger sister", and relates that to why she relates to Fang since she has a younger sister too, and thus understands the strong conviction Fang has in protecting Vanille.

The FFXIII Game - now I don't think the game itself specifically mentions them being "like sister" (at least in the dialogue, as I've gone through the script of the cutscenes), but the family aspect is something they carry pretty heavily, especially for the group. Vanille's narration talking about family and the regrets of not keeping them as close as you should, Vanille introducing the idea of "On Gran Pulse, everyone is family", Fang and Vanille emphasizing that their village is a close-knit family when arriving to Oerba, Fang assuring Vanille "we have a new family now" and the Ulti Omega doubling down by saying that this line clearly shows how Fang sees the group as her family, and of course, Fang trying to sacrifice herself to fulfill her promise to "protect her family" when the group faces Orphan. Fang's worry and conviction to protect Vanille, and extending this to her expanded family, is shown greatly.

-Zero Promise- Novelization - the novelization is the treasure trove for Fang and Vanille's context as character, their family/sister relationship (along with friendship, of course), and their past. It even features two direct parallels between Lightning and Fang for the sake of showing how Fang views Vanille like a little sister. Even Vanille, in the moment they became L'Cie at their village, tells Fang about how despite being orphans, they were raised together, and were family. There's also the additional context of Fang being like the "woman/adult" while Vanille is like "the child", emphasizing the child-like personality of Vanille by how she always slept next to Fang (also with other kids in the village, before they became L'Cie) from her fears of loneliness, and Fang recounting this of her looking after her being a "crybaby". Naturally, all of this does naturally fit within a context where there's an older sibling and a younger sibling. There usually isn't, but if there are concerns over canonicity—Jun Eishima, the author of this novel (and the FFXIII-2 novels), was hired directly by SE to write her novelizations and to have them published through SE individually, had them featured in the World Previews of both FFXIII and XIII-2, had another short story called -Episode i- featured with the Xbox 360 release of FFXIII, AND was the Story Advisor for the actual FFXIII-2 game. So, it's safe to say she's an authentic additional party to the series as an author, even more than Matsuyama.

-Episode i- Novelization - this short story features the group slightly post-the ending of FFXIII. The story shows the groups conviction for saving Fang and Vanille from the crystal stasis, which sets up this same conviction expressed from all of them (especially Snow and Hope) in FFXIII-2. More importantly, how this conviction is shaped by the familial bond they created with Fang and Vanille, and they remark how this meaning came from Vanille's famous line: "On Gran Pulse, everyone is family".

FFXIII-2 World Preview Book - continuing the trend, Fang and Vanille are described as "like family" once again in the relationship chart. And at this point, we already know HOW they're like family: sisters.

FFXIII-2 Game/Novelization - This first point is really kind of a bonus that is congruent to the comparison of Lightning and Fang, but in FFXIII-2 when Serah meets Fang for the first time, she talks about how Fang reminded her of Lightning. There's also the "Daughters of Etro" moniker they gain through prophecy and the "Legend of Cocoon" Noel speaks on—this is obviously congruent with the concept of them being family/sisters to one another, it just throws in the context of a connection to Etro. Interestingly enough, the ENG localization also recounts the legend through Noel as them being called "the sisters", as well, though this line of dialogue in JPN from Noel is still "the daughters". This meaning is also talked about within the novelizations Fragments Before and Fragments After.

FFXIII: Lightning Returns Game - And of course, Fangs conviction to protect Vanille is STILL the center of her character, to the point she leaves Vanille in order to accomplish this. Lightning will remark this, wondering what made Fang leave since they have "a bond beyond/stronger than family". At this point, it's obvious why family is the foundation of this descriptor, but also how it works as a nice descriptor that comments on the strength of this bond, and how it is stronger than the already strong bond of family bonds.

And the most important thing as demonstrated above? They don't stray from this—they build upon it. There's no deviation, there's no making it false, there's no "this is a lie and it's actually romantic". This IS the characters and their relationship—perhaps the most important difference between them and Clive/Jill or Vaan/Penelo. Within all this, there is no "coded/subtext" of romance, when all things expressed in the game fits within ALL that is provided above and is congruent to one another for the same conclusion: Fang and Vanille are family, are sisters, and very much so care a lot about each other. As you can see, it was given in a multitude of ways throughout the existence of all 3 games and corresponding material relative to them. This especially for Fang—a character who is older, has grown up taking care of a younger character in a family setting, and whose main priority is protecting them and looking after them: this doesn't just fit in the sibling/parental [hogosha] box, it is THE box itself. Are there stories that deviate, that subvert this and make it romantic? Absolutely, I've seen them myself. But, it's a deviation for a reason, it's "different than what it appears as" for a reason—because it's not what is natural for a romantic relationship to develop. There's a reason Fang is consistently compared and paired with Lightning, who is also not only just a sibling to Serah, but also a hogosha [parental figure]. I would make the same argument for Fang too.

One thing I've seen actively in the way is the very typical urge to use our personal interpretations more than the content to understand something. The bar for romanticism is REALLY low in how people perceive things, and that's a wider conversation on how media itself was the influence on this, kind of negatively if you ask me. Glorification of romanticism and sex is a thing. Like really, it's what part of me understands HOW people can see Fang and Vanille as romantic, but also, WHY I know they also should be able to see it as platonic, too. I believe this is an important aspect of talking about perception and media. However, we can't be blinded by it—logically or emotionally. There's not a single thing they've done that can't be understood through the lens of what the material has given you to understand it. Use the lens of the information, not your own personal interpretation if you want to KNOW Fang and Vanille. If you want to ship the hek out of them despite this, fine—I don't care about that specifically, but it would be nice if people recognized and also talked about who the characters actually are outside of their headcanon. That way, when things that are just misconceptions are said, people who know better can say something.

Fang originally being a man? Actually, they both were in a sense. And, not only is it a "coincidence" that the construction of Fang's character is centered on her "wanting to save Vanille", but also that one of the reasons Fang was turned into a female was to AVOID the feeling of romance between Fang and Vanille. Interesting how that little detail is left out by those mentioning this (one could even argue it's slightly homophobic, but that's a whole other convo). Either way, it makes sense as to why the center of Fang's character is her conviction to protect Vanille—it's what she was created for, and we see HOW they chose to execute that: to protect Vanille, her younger sister, her family.

Fang and Vanille being like the Ragnarok legend? It's pretty easy to understand what was/wasn't used with the Lif and Lifthrasir comparison. They're a duo, seemingly the last of the Pulse civilization, and associated with Ragnarok—that's where the similarity ends and how far it was utilized, obviously as based on the above. Something done in media all the time is the utilization of concepts, but not ALL details are 1:1. Happens all the time, and when the storytelling is directly referencing the concept itself (like True Love's Kiss or an Act of Pure Love), it's actually a specific point to SUBVERT from romance and apply it differently.

Vanille talking about never sleeping alone? This is literally linked to the "child-like" aspect of her character—of her fears and sadness of loneliness, and quite frankly the trauma of being orphaned. She's never slept alone, and Vanille recounts this in lieu of herself and ALL the orphans (before they're L'Cie)—it wasn't just Fang in her recollection, but Fang is the one she is closest to and relied on the most. Sleeping alone = fear of loneliness. Fang recounts the same idea in lieu of Vanille's "crybaby" personality—"Vanille would always cry, waking up from a bad dream, holding on to Fang and begging her not to leave her alone. She had always been like that, since they were children."—and naturally, this coincides with Fang's role of taking care of her since they were kids. Surely we're not confused on how that fits with a sibling dynamic more naturally than a romantic one? Then lastly, what is probably even the inspiration of this from the -Zero- Promise novel, is the wholesome/sad scene in the FFXIII game when Vanille, after making a deal about Sazh not invading her sleeping space, sneaks over to sleep next to him, crying, and Sazh allows it, calling her a kid. I mean, it's literally outlined three separate times. Nothing to do with romance, it's about Vanille's character. Unless, you really think Vanille was coming onto Sazh as opposed to dealing with trauma. Knowing the internet, I'm sure that's a ship somewhere, but it ain't it.

Fang lifting up Vanille's skirt to see her brand on her upper thigh? That is, to see if she is close to death, being a Cie'th? The very thing she's been stressing about the entire game up to that point? In this, we can also include the ability of Fang and Vanille hugging or holding each other's hands when they're sacrificing themselves. Basically, physical intimacy.

Boy, this one is a rant for me, and it's hard to be nice about it.

The L'Cie brand is practically almost like a wound, and they're constantly in s state of worry of it getting worse, with it being their ticking time clock towards losing themselves to becoming Cie'th. This is one of Fang's biggest concerns for Vanille along with protecting her.

Now, take their outward personalities that reinforce they're not one to make a big deal about seeing skin, their close-knit familial upbringing + being sisters within this environment—supplemented by the info that supports Fang being the older sister whose main concern is Vanille's safety and turning into a Cie'th + Vanille, who is the younger sister and like a "child", them both being females, and how Fang wordlessly moves Vanille to do this while Vanille has no protest, which can be reminiscent of a mother/child, which "coincidentally" flows with the above, etc. If you seriously can't understand in any way how this interaction fits within the information of the above, platonically, and doesn't showcase anything relative to "this can only happen if they're fucking"—then there's not much else to be said other than, maybe expand your understanding of human interaction and personalities in media (not even just JPN, either)? That's the nicest and most understanding way I can put it. Take in anything, where a sibling dynamic and their capability of interaction isn't just bickering and tussling with one another. Please. It's super easy, and has been done before or even further in so much other content, all across JPN media. There's SO many characters with strong sibling relationships. For SE games, also look at FFXIII itself—Lightning and Hope, Hope and Vanille (the beginning), Sarah and Vanille even share a moment when they meet, Lightning and Serah's interaction at the end of XIII-2, etc. It's everywhere. Yuna and Rikku's hug scene in FFX, Aqua's general intimacy towards Ventus in the KH series, etc. There's not a single thing Fang and Vanille has done that isn't covered under what has been given about their characters, and it's not even like, that much. I mean, Elsa and Anna between Frozen 1 and 2 show more I'd say. "B-but, but, hugs in Japanese media are always—". Nope, go read, watch, anything, please. Now, there can be a certain conversation of expectations between say, a female and male (and even this isn't absolute), but between females? Showing physical intimacy and closeness, not only in real-time of the story but also in key art? Super common. Easy.

There's even a conversation for the sake of how Fang and Vanille specifically are the way they are because of this upbringing, so Fang not making a big deal about even checking Lightning's brand despite being a stranger, Vanille and Serah sharing a moment while being strangers, and even how quickly Vanille physically came to comforting Hope at the beginning of the game—it's more about their personalities and familial/close-knit characterization.

Like, c'mon man. There's "I can see this happening between a couple but also know it can happen without it", and then there's "there's no 'heterosexual' explanation for this". One shows understanding and wisdom, the other, either just uninformed or purposely ignorant of the fact that, yes, they give you an explanation. Over, and over, and over again, in multiple sources, in multiple ways, as shown above. Realize the whole "I would never do that with my sister" is not evidential of what CAN and HAS been done for other sisters or sibling characters. I mean, if you're sincerely not use to seeing all types of physical or descriptive expressions that can happen between this configuration of characterization, I'm not sure how you'd make it through most JPN content to be honest and not tell the difference between what's sexual or platonic, or even American content like Four Brothers, The Outsiders, Frozen, etc., without believing all the siblings (blood related or not) are all having sex with each other. Also, I think it's interesting to note that most physical interactions are initiated by Fang, the older sister, who's main priority is protecting and looking after her younger sister—it certainly matches the same energy you'll see from older sisters in JPN media who show love and comfort to their younger sisters.

Fang would "be everyone's enemy/tear the sky down" just to save Vanille and this is like "Snow's language" towards Serah? I mean, have you seen Supernatural? XD Also like, again, ANY JPN content with an older and younger sibling, whose sole motivation and characterization is protecting their younger sibling? It's called conviction (as we covered, Fang was created specifically to have for Vanille), and considering Serah and her happiness is Lighting's "reason for living and her greatest reward", who Lighting has "the same beloved feeling" for that is the same depth as Snow, is what, "coincidentally", Fang herself uses to motivate Lightning to keep going when she contemplates giving up, who Lightning does turn against Cocoon for in order to save, and who is THE most important component to Lightning's agency in the 3rd game and is the key to her character arc—I'm sure Lightning isn't far off from what Fang is. Again, there's the novella equating them, and also, Serah being reminded of Lightning when she finally meets Fang—this conviction to protect and save your loved ones is something, really, all the characters show. It isn't just Snow, nor is it just Fang. And, Fang just so happens to have this conviction in a way that has been repeatedly linked to "protecting Vanille, her younger sister".

Fang and Vanille having a "bond beyond family"? First, notice how family is still the basis of this bond, the conventional relationship type that is the most versatile AND the top signifier of closeness. So "bond" here isn't relationship type, it's in the same vein of the "reason for existing", "irreplaceable", "unbreakable", "most important thing", etc. descriptors that you get to show how a relationship goes beyond just a type, which all the above is beyond simply being family. The logic of romance being "beyond family" also doesn't make any sense because it literally is it's own sector in family—I mean, the conventional point of a romantic relationship is TO become family. Also for this specific phrase, funny enough, I've only ever seen it used platonically or specifically with no romanticism application, e.g. in Boruto, Sakura tells her daughter that her and Naruto became "more than family". It's like literally the same Kanji phrasing too (家族以上 - kazoku ijou). I haven't even seen it used in a romantic context, but I'm sure it very well could be. It's also funny that, Lightning says this about Fang and Vanille, of how Fang would "never just leave Vanille all alone", but "coincidentally" (this is getting fun, huh), Hope says Sazh had mentioned practically THE SAME THING about why they wanted to believe Lightning wasn't in the crystal, that Lightning wouldn't "just up and leave Serah like that".

Vanille's VA says she hopes the games will show how Fang and Vanille "have a bond more powerful than friendship"—I mean, yeah? They're family, something stronger than friendship. Bond-wise? Absolutely. They have a bond BEYOND even that. See the above, how is this specifically and only romantic? Keep in mind, this is also the same interview where Fang's VA directly says "To Fang, Vanille is like a younger sister", seeing herself in Fang because she has her own younger sister, and relates of the feeling of "protecting small children" that comes with this. Like you know, "coincidentally", like how Vanille as a younger sister is also "childlike" in disposition and a "cute, crybaby" to Fang. Neither this phrase or "bond beyond family" are inherently romantic, and they're very applicable to other multiple relationship types because it's for the sake of describing the strength of a bond.

Fang and Vanille still live with each other at the end of LR? You mean, two people who have lived together since they were children as a close-knit family, have a whole arc involving them separating and reuniting in BOTH games, and are thrust into a new world with the two still being each other's closest family? A world of which is also still very different than the one they came from? You mean two people like THAT would still live together? I am shocked and dismayed. I feel a little sassy here because, c'mon. I'd also like to point out that the idea of "never being apart/leaving each other's side" is congruent with their history, but also is something expressed in the storytelling of Vanille's fear of loneliness, in which even WAY back in the FFXIII novelization Zero Promise, she expresses to Fang “We might be orphans, but we were raised together. We’re family. We can protect everyone together. We’ll be together forever… no matter what happens, we’ll never be apart.” when being turned into L'Cie. So, it's very fitting, but also still within the context that is repeatedly there.

Let the material speak for itself. Which it does. A lot. And you don't have to do much other than just finding it and absorbing it. I feel like, there's STILL more that I could say, but this is the brunt gist of understanding Fang and Vanille.

#oerba yun fang #oerba dia vanille #final fantasy xiii #ffxiii #ffxvi #ffxii zodiac age #kingdom hearts #long post #lightning farron #serah farron #clive rosfield #jill warrick

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sinsiriuslyemo · 6 months

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It's been a long, long time ya'll.

I know you've heard (or rather seen) this more than a million times before, but for the last several months I've been doing some real thinking about what I want my online presence to look like. For years, it seems that I've been operating in a sort of chaos, allowing myself to easily become overwhelmed with not just the number of platforms on which I had a presence (yes, had. we'll get there, I promise) but also taking on new ventures and getting burnt out rather quickly.

As I reflected on my online activity, I realized that there was one place where I felt most at home, and happy. Here. With you, my fandom buddies. And so, this is a post to announce that I'm coming home. I'll still have my twitter account, but won't be posting there too often, really just when I have a quick thought that I want to get off my chest or find a fun thread/conversation to join. I'll be posting here again much more often, and I'll also have an Ao3.

Yes. For years I resisted creating an Ao3 account because, frankly, I was intimidated by it. The interface was confusing to me, and I was easily overwhelmed with the sheer volume of fics to choose from.

I also wasn't the greatest fan of the fact that there is no social media aspect to it, like there is here. But in the last few months, I've learned how to work the search feature on there and have read such amazing fics that has reignited my hunger for fandom interaction. I miss being nerdy with ya'll! I miss fangirling over gifs with you and gushing about a new edit that someone posted, or a fic that makes me giddy with feels of every color. Most of all I miss immersing myself in my favorite characters and creating stories and head canons.

So yes, I'm back!

Just a few things though, and I hope you'll hear me out.

Currently, I have been completely out of the loop with respect to SVU. I still love the show and will likely catch up on what I've missed eventually, but it's simply not where my interests lie at the moment. Lately, I've been steeping myself in the Harry Potter fandom (though I want to make it perfectly clear that I only support HP fan works and fanmade products. Fuck JK Rowling) and have been working on some fics for that fandom.

If this isn't your bag, I get it! But I just want to be up front that that is likely the content you will see for the foreseeable future, moving forward. That said, I may still post in other fandoms once in a while, including the SVU fandom, but for the most part, you can expect HP works for now.

That brings me to my asks. I still have around 20, and I've decided NOT to delete them. I will get to them eventually, but I don't know when that will be (likely whenever the mood strikes). Also, I have The Lawyer and the Pianist that is as of now unfinished. I will be finishing that story, but again, the updates will be sporadic. And of course, there's also the RAUL series. I will be updating the ongoing story I have there, but again, sporadic updates and likely won't be expanding that concept much more for the time, unless of course the inspiration bites me in the ass. It very well may, but for now I'm only going to be finishing the story I've already started, nothing more. I know that may not be what you want to hear, but it's the truth, and that's the least I owe you guys.

There are also other fandoms that I'm interested in that I may start to write fics for at some point. Those include Hawaii 5-0 (yes, I'm aware it's been off air for a few years, but whatevs lol) and The Orville (I'm actually not sure whether there's a fandom presence for this show in here). Scott Caan has also started a new show called Alert, which is another procedural drama that I may begin to watch at some point and maybe will get inspired to write for. I don't know yet.

I'll also likely post some personal things or just stuff I'm interested in or want to talk about that may or may not have to do with fandom. It may have to do with writing, or just some feelings I have that I want to write about, or even personal updates, including when I have new original stories coming out. I also want to start posting book reviews of the stuff I'm personally reading A) because I love talking about books anyway and B) because I'm about 75% certain I'm going to be deleting my Youtube channel, where I normally would've posted it, and 100% certain that I won't be posting anymore videos. It's just too much, I get overwhelmed, and I let my followers there down just as I've let ya'll down before. I'm trying to change that.

That said, I do have indie authors who sometimes ask me to do reviews of their books (I have one that I'm going to be reading after I finish The Bone Witch) and I still want to be able to do that for them and offer a platform for me to promote their works. These are amazing writers who do not have the benefit of a publishing house resources in order to market their books, and I want to use my platform to share their wonderful stories with ya'll. I hope that's okay. I'll review mainstream books as well, but I want the majority of my reviews to be my fellow indies.

But for now, ya'll, as far as any fanfic I post (and I'm working on several atm) it's gonna be Harry Potter central up this bitch. Likely Sirius Black central because A) he's my absolute favorite character (do not @ me) and B) Gary Oldman can get it.

I also have coming up (as in literally done and waiting in my queue to be posted) reviews for And Straight On Till Morning, The Bone Witch, and Splinter (indie), a do's and don'ts post for writing summaries, and chapter one of a fic I've been working on for the last few weeks. As for my posting schedule, I'm gonna start with once a week for now and see how that goes. I'll be here every day though, reading other writer's works, commenting, reblogging, etc.

Along with posting here, I will continue to work on my original stories, which you can find on Amazon. And if you want to support me, you can also buy me a Ko-Fi. I used to hesitate hardcore to post those last three things on here. Because this was what I mainly used for fandom, I thought it would be presumptuous and also kind of a dick move to ask for support, but I've been working on recognizing my own worth, and realized that just because I ask, doesn't mean anyone has to do it. Therefore, there's no harm in asking, and for those of you that want to support me financially, you should be able to do so. But just know that I don't expect anything. I'm here because I love it here, and I will still be writing fanfic for free.

I know tumblr isn't the same as when I was last here (like, really here, not just saying I was here) but that's okay. I just want to be here, and post my fics and that's enough for me.

One last thing, from now on I will be signing off with my pen name (Hero West) instead of my actual first name. The main reason for this is because I've decided that for my mental health and for my safety as well, I need to keep my private life off the internet as much as possible. So, I want to stop using my real first name. I'm perfectly aware that I've used it to sign off in the past, and I'm going to try my hardest to edit all of those posts, but as you can imagine, that will take a very long time.

Still, I hope you'll understand and refer to me using "Hero" instead of my real first name.

With peace and love,

Sinceriously,

Hero

PS - Needless to say I'm going to be watch A Murder at the End of the World just for funsies because it looks interesting and also, Raul Esparza 🥰

#fandom #personal #law and order svu #hp fandom #law and order svu fandom #sirius black #harry potter #update

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mossflwer · 1 year

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End of year streaming retrospective

Howdy folks! I wanted to take some time to process this past year's creative efforts, review my past goals, and set new ones for 2023!

I seriously can't thank each and every one of you enough for making this year such a blast. The only reason I'm still streaming is because of the awesome community, and I look forward to serving ya'll to the best of my ability this next year!

I initially started writing a huge break down of the past two years, all the things I've tried streaming, my different processes, blah blah blah. You probably don't want to read several thousand words of me stroking my own creative ego so instead I've tied to boil it down to some bullet points to share things that helped me but its still way too fucking long lmao.

What I'm grateful for

Before I launch into congratulating myself, I want to thank everyone who made this fucking possible.

YOU! Everyone who shows up to stream, interacts with any of my content, and just in general has been supportive! The only reason I'm still streaming is because of folks like you.

Encouragement from other streamers/creatives. I'd list folks here but its too long and I don't want to leave folks out. But I've legit never had other creative folks encourage me like some of ya'll have.

The awesome communities in which I've been able to make new friends and collab with some awesome folks, its genuinely made my year.

Previous Goals for 2022

Contribute positively to the Twitch / gaming community: I feel like this was the most successful its ever been. Hearing that the streams can be a safe space for folks means the world to me and I want to keep building on that.

Grow as a creative, with speaking and production: I feel way more confident in speaking now but there's still lots of room to grow! And especially with the tiktoks I've loved doing more video editing.

Keep a consistent creative practice: I'm so thankful for chat keeping me accountable to this. Knowing folks expect me live at X times has kept me motivated and I'm so grateful for that.

One collab a week: This went well! The intention was to highlight other cool creators and contribute what I could to their channels. Probably gonna update this to 1 collab every 2 weeks for less stress.

One tiktok a week: This worked great! It hasn't helped build my twitch audience much but it is growing steadily. Updating to 3 tiktoks a week since that pace seems to work for me.

One new redeem a week: Didn't work out as great, but still pushed me to keep iterating my channel/overlay and avoid stagnating.

What I learned

My ideal stream length is 3-4 hours. I only stream as a hobby, since I have a 9-5 job that takes most of my time and pays all of my bills already. This length seems like enough time to hangout and still have time for everything else.

Modding for other people can be a cool way to contribute to the community. I'm still pretty uncomfortable with the idea of people modding for me and doing free labor, but the sorta "we got each others backs" modding that I've seen friends do for each other has been really fun to participate in.

Setting a community vibe can be tough but is extremely important: Initially I set out for my chat to be a safe space to chat about tough topics, since I really value deep/hard convos. I think for now though, I’ve realized that stream is not always the place for these conversations which is really hard for me. I want to listen and support people who are being vulnerable. But I also need to look out for the rest of the chat and community who are just looking to vibe. Wish I had a better way to tackle it and give people support while still keeping a comfy vibe on stream.

Social media is important for growth: Twitter has been fun to just dick around with and connect with existing audience/peers. Tiktok seems great for growth but can be fickle. YT Shorts is similar, with the added furry hate comments that don't bother me too much. And I've been having a blast with Tumblr, but I might make an alt just to shitpost because I've noticed I do more shitposting than actual content shit.

Try new shit!: I've been experimenting with a private stream that you can only get to through my site, which I've used for low-key vinyl streams. I really want to do more weird shit over there, but the important thing is don't be afraid to try new stuff!

Watch other streams: If you want to contribute in a medium, you need to know what other folks are doing. Take notes, be inspired, but don't copy. And support your homies efforts too!

Consistency over Quality: People like consistency, especially in streaming. Someone knowing “oh its tuesday, that means moss is live tonight!” is fantastic for recurring viewership. And posting one 7/10 tiktok every week is way better than one 10/10 tiktok every few months. See MissJackieCR's Youtube video on content creation AMA for more.

Don't chase perfection: Its cliche as hell, but if you try and get everything you make perfect, you'll never finish anything. With streams, always strive to make your next one 1% better than the last one. With other content, I try to get stuff to around 80% of whatever my quality bar is. There are diminishing returns to polishing shit up, and your time may be better spent just publishing it then starting something new.

Goals for 2023

Explore different sorts of content! Stuff on the games industry, spirituality, and collaborative creation all are on my radar.

More game design stuff! I want to ramp up what I'm able to share with ya'll when it comes to how games are designed and made.

More collabs! I just love hanging with folks on stream and its fun.

Actually post to instagram, since its been working for some others.

Watch my own fucking vods. I know its the best way to see how you can improve your own content, I just need a better routine for it.

More side streams! Stuff on Tumblr Live and the private stream.

Try and make some Youtube content!

Experiment with live bass playing streams, or something to incorporate music into stream even more.

For real, thank you so much for the support, its meant the world to me. For everyone who'se come along for the ride, thank you so much. This might just be a side-project for me but its genuinely a highlight of my week and I'm looking forward to doing even more in 2023!

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ameliora-j · 2 years

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Oh boy some of this are so funny. Typical hater narrative. It's been like 1 year and ya'll haven't done your research yet. Just say you hate him and go. Unlucky for you, Im bored and i did the research for you. It's gonna be long so theres a chance you might not read it, so stay ignorant if you will. I got time to waste anyway.

basically he is transphobic -people are saying this because he just liked and unliked a tweet at the heat of JKRs twitter rant. The tweet he liked is not even transphobic. It was JKRs reply to someone and can easily be mistaken as just a sarcastic reply if you don't look at the whole thread and don't know what's going on. (I bet some people calling him transphobic doesnt even know this.) It could've been easily a mistake or a misunderstanding on his part. But no, people nowadays loves the mob mentality and would just assume the worst on anyone. He couldve just said it was a mistake, but people are already crucifying him and saying he just unliked it because "he's being called out", so what's the point of rectifying? We all know nothing is enough to the haters and social media crussaders. His good deeds before this overlooked because of one stupid mistake. He has called out a transphobic restaurant before in his instagram story, actual trans that actually met him have come forward on twitter saying he's nothing but sweet, respectful and even asked and used their proffered pronoun.

he body and slut shamed his ex girlfriend - said ex girlfriend was just with him days before he sang it on live and they're cool and great friends. Said song was written like 20 years ago. Now that wasnt an excuse to slut shame and body shame someone, why is he being singled out regarding this kind of songs? Taylor Swift's Better Than Revenge anyone? (It's just whats at the top of my head. But hey! Im swiftie!) There's a bunch of song with the same theme, let's also call them out and cancel them. Btw, Tom has a newer song that empowers women titled " Fairies and Feathers" but we're gonna ignore that because we all care about his mistakes and bad side here.

he's obsessed with the pureblood role he played which has roots in anti semitism - this is just reaching haha! Say you're just annoyed with him loving the character that he played for 10 years of his life. Let's also cancel all people that loves draco Malfoy. Fyi, his long time ex girlfriend and current girlfriend came from jewish families. In case haters are reaching more that he's anti semitic too. I've seen a couple of those.

he duets/replies to a bunch of sexual tiktoks made by minors - i've seen all his tiktoks since the birth of it and have not seen something like this. Or is this about the lip biting thing. Lol, that's a self-deprecating humor at best.

and i'm nearly positive that there's more but this is all that i can think of rn - hey i can think for you! He's obsessed with Emma watson, even though they're probably besties in real life. He encourages tiktok to sexualize him even though he doesn't have control on what people would react to him. He agrees with JKR because he called her a genius even though he meant for creating the potter world. Oh there's more i know ya'll can make a lot more reasons to hate him.

i’m not arguing with you over tom felton… get well soon babe!

#tw tom felton

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norman-reedus-gossip-mod · 7 years

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bulk

--mod--

Because I'm a lazy ass and didn't want to transfer stuff in to comments .

Anon: Was DK at NR's art show opening today? --mod-- Not that I saw    

Anon:  I love Daryl but I was never a fan of Norman. Trust me, I've tried. I even tried watching a few of his movies including BS but I'm sorry imo they were crap movies. His only claim to semi-fame is Daryl/TWD & even then a lot of ppl I know don't watch or even recognize his name. His last barely legal gf & now DK are an example of the REAL Norman. He's not what he made himself out to be to his fans. He fooled them that he's an upstanding guy when in reality he's far from it. Don't fall for it!!!  Anon:  Dk and Norman are laughing their asses off behind everyone's backs probably thinking we are all dumb and some of you seriously support this behavior and say it's okay. It's shameful disgusting & embarrassing nothing more  --mod-- I'm not exactly sure why everyone thinks they'd be laughing at the fans. I'm not being a dick just curious   Anon:  There's just no way she was there he was so busy and today he's busy where is she?

  Anon:  I'm really disturbed by the horrible messages on Norman's IG.. people are so messed up! Regardless of what the truth is these messages just make his fans look insane!   

Anon:  Wow, is it the same ten hateful women posting here about liar Norman and evil Diane? Because elsewhere in social media, people, mature people, are saying this is his business and if he's happy, then so are they. How refreshing. Maybe some of you should expand your horizons. --mod-- Mine are super expanded. Apparently we don't go to the same social media because there is nastiness on all of them.   

Anon:  Here we go Diane isn't his friend showing up to support him for his gallery opening tonight since she isn't even there. Probably waiting for him in their hotel room. I'm actually heavily disgusted with the game theyre playing.  

Anon:  Is that Diane at the opening on shadinyc ig story? That's exactly what the blinds said would happen.  --mod-- Nah that's JDM's wife   

Anon:   Well seems like DK isn't at Norman's gallery opening so she definitely isn't in Barcelona to support his work. Plus they wouldn't hide like this if it's only "friends" hanging out. Come on, some still don't want to see that Norman lied cold in you all's faces.. . --mod-- People are allowed to not believe something anon. We all have different thresholds as to what we need to make a decision. For instance a picture taken from a distance isn't enough for me personally. But I respect the fact that it's enough for others and try and not to talk down to them   

Anon:  DK doesn't seem to be at NR's art show opening today. Why do you think that is? --mod-- Maybe she's not there or maybe she wasn't invited.    

Anon:  I have studied those pictures a little closer and noticed something. DK is thin as a stick - her things are practically just bones with muscles and skin on top. The woman climbing on the bike is slim too, but her things seems wider. And then she's even wearing dark jeans that's supposed to make you look thinner. I might be wrong but unless DK gained a couple of pounds over less than a week I don't think that's her

   Anon:  Mod, if they are actually together, do you think we are going to have to see it now? Do we actually have to be forced to look at her attending his art shows and walking red carpets with him? He doesn't do that stuff! I could cry at that thought alone I'm sorry Norman but I can't do that. I didn't sign up as your fan to have to put up with her and her trolling either. Please say it's not true --mod-- If they are then I'd assume we'd maybe see more of them. But I'll make this promise I will keep her to the barest of minimums on the blog. 😉

Anon:  Mod do you think it's possible that they really are only friends? I mean why would he make an official denial like he did only two weeks ago if he was with her? It seems so weird if he did that. It makes him out to look like a complete liar. Also people were saying that he was taking pics with fans while she was there? If that's true, why would he do that with her of all people if she they were more than friends?  --mod-- I think it's totally possible they are still friends. He has friends that he's been out with and have stood back while he took pictures with fans. What strikes me as weird is no one that has said she was there took one picture of her not even a creeper..   

Anon:  I get that people are pissed but the fact is, none of us personally know N or DK. We only see their public personas. We have no idea who they truly are and have no basis on which to judge their relationship. Even if we feel we do, it still wouldn't give us the right to interfere. It's their business and none of ours. And if N is making a "mistake" somehow, it's still his to make. Respect the boundaries between fandom and real life. And if you must leave the fandom, then just leave. . --mod-- Fair point.  

Anon: To people losing their shit - ever considered that N has 'lied' not to be deceitful or because of JJ, but because he KNEW that the batshit elements of his fanbase would react exactly as they have? Maybe he's keeping it quiet purely to protect DK and himself from lunatic fans who think he owes them something.   

Anon: He has left up all supportive comments but deleted others. Even respectful ones just showing disapointment. I think the blind is right he will go public with her. Way to antagonize norman. --mod-- I've actually seen lots of comments that aren't supportive. He did deleted a bunch of the really nasty ones.   

Anon: Mod Norman was out last night I think, was DK with him?? -mod-- Not that I've heard   

Anon:  Dk and Norman both silent on SM since days. You all love to call it coincidence. I hope you all also know deep down it isn't. If they were just friends they wouldn't have to be silent for days. Reminds a lot of Lapland huuh? Let's be honest here, Norman tried to safe his image by putting out a denial so he probably hoped people would stop watching their steps. Too bad it's not working. I so hope paps call them out and the next shitstorm is coming for him. He deserves nothing else if he lies.  --mod--Can you give me a definition of silent on sm because he's little and followed people on ig and twitter

   Anon:  So several people said Norman was there with his girlfriend. We all know he met (secretly) up with ms. attention whore. what do people need more to see he lied big times in ya'lls faces just to make himself look better. I don't get how anyone can support his behavior. He claims to love honesty and hates cheating yet he's apparently the biggest liar. If I was a fan I would be more than disgusted and disappointed and would really think twice if I want to support such shit. Lying is a no go. --mod--People need different things to form an opinion and others just don't care   

Anon:  NR was out at some kind of bar last night, any idea if DK was with him?

--mod-- Haven't heard anything    

Anon:   This is what we get for thinking a guy who had dated a 20 yr old when he was 44 had changed/matured!!! Ha, that's a fucking laugh!!! This guy NEVER had standards, morals & integrity so why'd we expect he'd suddenly posses them??? My mother always told me no matter how hard you try, you can't shine SHIT!!!! Norman will never change & he'll always go after the women who are either too young or total bitches. It's very telling just what kind of person he really is. --mod-- But some of his exs are really awesome women and super nice. Perhaps people are judging to much on his last few relationships . Also who would try and shine shit that's so gross   

Anon:   Funny how Norman is quiet on SM since DK arrived in Barcelona. He didn't post nor like in days. . --mod-- But I think he did  

Anon: I still adore Norman.But he acts blind and stupid right now.Maybe it's a midlife crisis.At this point of drama I wonder if it wouldn't have been the smarter decision to tell the truth right away.There would've been a shitstorm for a few weeks.NOW this hurting and hating goes on for nearly 2 years off and on.Unbearable. Diane?She's a insidious piece of poo.Made multiple attempts to nail Norman down and finally succeeded.I can see a wedding and a baby in the near future.It's that easy.  --mod-- Whys there gotta be a wedding and baby. Both of those are weird   

Anon: I don’t know what to think about Norman anymore.. I’m okay with him being in a relationship with someone and being happy but… with DK… ugh. I wonder if he even knows how she calls the paps… does he even care that she does this? Does he care that she trolls his fans? Does he not realize what type of person she is? And I’ve noticed that when things arise with her, rumors fly or they’re spotted together- he seems to post photos of him with kids, make a wish foundation children, etc around the same time… And his Facebook page did that again tonight… several pics that have already been posted… but were posted again tonight of him with kids and charities… and it turned my stomach because it comes off extremely fake to me now, like he’s trying to get his image to be shown in a better light whenever the DK stuff hits the fan. I always thought of him as a good person but… now I don’t know what to think anymore because I went from thinking he really cares about his fans that are kids(I know he does care) but to somewhat use them to get his reputation to look better at these times… Ugh. :/

Anon: Did anyone thought that the blond girl jumping on NR was Hillary Burton (JDM's wife), she was in Barcelona with them and she does own boots and bag like the ones in the picture, they're not a special edition made for DK (other people can have the same). When I see how many IG accounts are created by so called "fans" to only spread rumours and hate toward NR and DK, I believe this storm won't stop, so I hope you have lots of whiskies and nachos mod. --mod-- That was my first thought. Irish nachos and whiskey all weekend

Anon: Did DK go to Norman's exhibit opening tonight? Is that her in Shadi's video right after he pans from JDM? --mod-- Didn't see her there

Anon: One would think if DK was only a friend for Norman she'd be officially invited to his gallery opening. Apparently she isn't there. Sorry but that makes it all the more obvious they are not just friends .

Anon: Did DK go to Norman's exhibit opening tonight? Is that her in Shadi's video right after he pans from JDM? --mod-- No it's JDM's wife I believe

Anon: Funny how DK isn't at his opening show if she was only in Spain to support him. If they were only friends why isn't she just official attending his opening so they could easily prove they're friends. Her being not there makes everything even more obvious. She's hiding and waiting for him somewhere so they can keep going laughing about us and screwing around further. --mod-- Maybe p, if she was in Spain, they decided is was best she not attended because have you seen the hate. Also why would they be laughing

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