#Sometimes I pre planned my exact movements ahead of time to make sure I didn't get in trouble for not praising | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gxlden-angels · 1 year

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Looking back, it's so funny that my family still sees my neurodivergence as more of a prayer issue than a neurological difference especially when I got very overwhelmed singing during praise and worship, but was still told to sing and dance so they definitely looked to their side and just saw this

#I'm autistic on the gay sex autism website. who would've guessed lol #but seriously tho its so funny looking back because I was so so autism #I'd stand and close my eyes so the lights and sounds didn't overwhelm me as much then I'd mostly sway and bounce in place #Sometimes I pre planned my exact movements ahead of time to make sure I didn't get in trouble for not praising #also I wrote an essays earlier about absurdity but it felt Off #like I was someone else trying to write in my style #a fun innuendo followed by TWs for safety and a hook intro #and a heart felt thing for ppl to take with them #it was 'The universe doesn't care about you but I do. I care so much'#but it felt preachy #it felt like I was trying to convert y'all to something via instagram influencer Canva-esque type essay #so I deleted it #I mean I saved my copy for my religious trauma coach but deleted the post here #so I might try again but I think I should look into why it felt ingenious with my therapist #ex christian #religious trauma #flashing lights #flashing gif

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