#Stp fanroute

[el-tostador]

Voice of the Karen: Our coupons only expired yesterday! We should turn them in, and she refuses to accept them, then call the bloody manager! Oh and this dreary store could certainly use some Christmas music! Hold on, play this one! That would certainly liven this place up a bit!

Voice of the Hero: Uhh…are you sure that's a good idea? She looks like she'd absolutely hate that right now.

Voice of the Karen: Who cares if she hates it! My music taste is impeccable, plus we can always get her fired if she verbally assaults us!

Narrator: You're supposed to slay the princess not-

Voice of the Karen: Oh shut up! The PRINCESS is in our minivan, outside. With her friends. Waiting for us to get them some food before we get them to soccer practice.

Voice of the Hero: Wait wait wait!…when did we get a car…or-or kids! For that matter.

Voice of the Karen: Shut up. Now, play this song, I'm sure everyone will just LOVE this!

Narrator: sigh You play 'All I Want For Christmas' by 'Mariah Carey'. The entire cabi- I mean, store, becomes engulfed in festive cheer. The princess looks at you with wide, dead eyes.

The Retailer: "That horrible song. Again."

Voice of the Karen: HORRIBLE?!?! Why I oughta-

Voice of the Hero: Maybe we should turn that off, I don't like how she's staring at us.

Voice of the Karen: MANAGER! CALL THE MANAGER!

Slayer: "It's not a horrible song! It's art! Maybe if you opened up your cold dead heart, you'd be able to appreciate it!"

Narrator: The princess smiles sardonically, her voice strained.

The Retailer: "That song is the reason my heart is 'cold' and 'dead' in the first place."

Narrator: Her smiles drops, her eyes still hauntingly wide.

The Retailer: "Now turn it off. Or else."

Voice of the Karen: Report her to the manager! She's threatening violence against us!

Voice of the Hero: She didn't threaten us though? Maybe we should turn it off. She looks…angry.

Narrator: Maybe you should listen to that little voice. If she gets angry, she might destroy the world. My world.

Voice of the Karen: No! No! We're reporting her to the manager now! No hesitating!

Slayer (Karen): "Are you…threatening me..? GET ME YOUR MANAGER! NOW! YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS JOB! I should know, the customers always right!"

Narrator: Are you serious? Are we really doing this? sigh As you continue berate the princess and threaten to get her fired, she closes her eyes with a relaxed smile. Then…you hear the sound of something piercing through skin and muscle before you feel the cold sensation. As you look down, you find a phillips screwdriver embedded in your chest. The princess must've stabbed you while you were ranting. As you look back up at her, you notice the shift in her expression, her previously tired, dead eyes now look at you with an unrestrained fury. She isn't smiling. She throws the barcode scanner at your head with such strength and accuracy that you are knocked down.

You hear her jump over the counter and see her stand over you, she leans down to look at you with what is clearly a mocking smile.

The Retailer: "Oh, I'll take you to meet the manager, alright?"

Narrator: She takes a 'Live. Love. Laugh.' ceramic mug that you had bought from your bag, and then raises it high over your head. She brings it down at once, smashing it into your face, then again. And again, until it finally breaks, and the broken pieces stick themselves into your bruises and your eyes. The rest of the pieces clatter on the ground. You feel another sharp pain in the chest, right in your heart, as she rips the Phillips screwdriver out of the previous hole in your chest and drives it through your ribs and into your vital organ. Over and over again until you're sure your ribs are no less broken than your mug.

sigh

Everything goes dark, and you die.

CHAPTER III THE MANAGER