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phillipcole · 9 months

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Post-AGT Appearance 1285: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert January 10

I would later proceed to the Late Show for the interview I would have been dreading for almost 2 years. I would be the first guest, after the first commercial break.

Colbert: Welcome back. Our first guest tonight is an interview that was postponed due to my little stomach disorder. It's a very timely interview and let me tell you the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the host or management.

(He would mouth the words "but we agree." Many would think he was mouthing something else.)

Colbert: So welcome Phillip and Cole's Variety Team.

(They would play the chorus of Canadian Wildfires as I walked out, as previously posted.)

Colbert: Well Phil, first of all I know you have some sad news.

PBC: Yes, my wife's maternal uncle, a beloved, wonderful man died of heart failure Sunday night.

Colbert: Was there anything unusual about his death?

PBC: Yes there was. Back in October he spent a long time isolated, fasting and praying for the sinful world. When he tried to resume normal activity he was too weak. His immune system was compromised. He got covid. Just as he was doing better he had a stroke. Then they diagnosed him with dementia. We prepared for a long ordeal with that but last weekend he went back to the hospital. That's in Trinidad, not here. He passed Sunday night.

Colbert: So sorry for your loss; now there is good news too. You have a movie coming out Friday and we have a clip. Tell us about it.

PBC: Miley Cyrus plays a singer.

Colbert: ha ha ha good casting.

PBC: Planning this almost 10 years; so she isn't doing well on the charts. A few years earlier, when she was at her peak, she did a little acting, so she tries to get back into movies, but her only offer wasw porno.

(Loud reaction)

PBC: Thank you, I think. She specializes in tongue work and, in an effort to improve her skills she starts studying toads and meets the professor.

Colbert: Who plays the professor?

PBC: I do. So this clip is the pivotal moment in the movie, the first step on her way to becoming the Toad Woman of Tennessee.

Colbert: Let's play it.

(They show a much shorter portion at the end of the clip posted Wednesday.)

Colbert: So...what was she looking at?

PBC: I have a still photo right here...and...we'll be selling the doll that matches this starting Friday!

Colbert: Impressive; I can hardly wait. Now, you do have a very serious matter to talk to our guests and viewers.

PBC: Yes, the New Hampshire primary is 2 weeks from yesterday and...I said before on this show...if Trump wins my colleague Phillip will go into a coma and...never recover.

Colbert: Will you pull the plug someday?

PBC: No, you will. His fate will be in your hands.

Colbert: And if that sad day comes, will you then tell us the last name on Phillip's sick list?

PBC: Yes, also on a date of your choosing. So please, New Hampshire people, if there is any possible way, go to the polls, vote in the New Hampshire primary and vote against Trump. That will keep Phillip alive at least until the convention.

Colbert: What about other states?

PBC: No individual state other than New Hampshire will trigger a coma, but every living creature will be in grave danger if that man becomes President again.

(long, loud response)

Colbert: Now the former President is facing 3 criminal procedures. Can you comment on them?

PBC: For that I give you my colleague Ford, a former judge in Tennessee.

(I rise up, turn around, put on a small gray wig and dark glasses and sit in the other seat.)

Ford: My name is Ford. I am a former criminal judge from Tennessee.

Colbert: Funny, you look like someone else. So the first charge against the former President is in New York. It involves lying to get a better loan deal.

Ford: He should have been tried for that about 30 years ago. There is no doubt he is guilty. The penalty should be a large fine. He can afford it.

Colbert: The second charge is inciting an insurrection January 6, 2021.

Ford: There are a lot of aggravating and mitigating factors. Perhaps disturbing the peace is a proper charge and almost certain to be a conviction.

Colbert: thank you. The third charge is having classified documents in his garage in Florida.

Ford: He has already told the public in no uncertain terms that he is guilty. The proper charge is treason and the proper penalty is death.

(Massive reaction, the camera panning the crowd)

Colbert: (close up) Phil, do you agree with your colleague Ford?

PBC: (back in the first chair minus wig and glasses) Yes. Think about it. When a man has a garage full of things and needs money for...legal bills for instance, he holds a...

Audience: Garage sale.

PBC: Classified documents, 2 dollars a page; might be the nuclear codes, might be the combination to the restroom, might be a meatloaf recipe.

Colbert: Touche.

PBC: He isn't the only one who should be tried for treason.

Colbert: Now, every time you join us you eliminate a suspect of who might be the last name on Phillip's sick list, one of the top 10. As we just discussed, this might be the last time you do that. Let's take a look at the top 10, latest update. Well at the top is Nancy Pelosi, then Lorne Michaels, Vladimir Putin, Hillary Clinton all the way down to Harvey Weinstein and Madonna. Which one will you be eliminating tonight?

PBC: Madonna.

Colbert: Wow! and he'll do it right after the break. Stay with us.

#stephen colbert #donald trump #madonna

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ayamsummer · 4 years

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A tough 2020. The year took a different turn.

2019- planned vacations, booked tickets, hotels and tours. Started crossing off dates from my planner - day by day. I always have this countdown 6 months prior to my every vacation so I can sort out and plan everything. That's just me adding positivity and motivation to get my 13-hr shift done. Matyu surprised me (well, not rly) with a ticket to Seoul, booked hotel and started planning the itinerary adding more to our international travels together. Bcos remember when I went blaahh and lost my brp when he was vacationing in London and that we had to cancel our EUROTRIP wasting so much money dear me. I said oh, I want to make it up this time. But idk I am always unlucky with travels nowadays. Don't make me enumerate, I lost count.

Just few weeks prior to my scheduled flight, decided to cancel it last minute. Cancelled my supposed annual leave, it was heartbreaking to inform my family about it - cancelling all the plans we had. They understood tho, and they agreed with my decision not to travel as it was very risky. I was still trying to sort all the refunds. Well, the thing is, I don't really care about the money nemur. The refund will be an add on - but right now, all I'm wishing is for this pandemic to stop and for my family to be safe. Just wtv. Celebrated my bday in a weird kind of way. But still it was a "happy bday".

Working in the hospital has never been scarier than this. It is a complete mental strain. FEAR, SLEEPLESS NIGHTS and ANXIETY. PPE guidelines change daily. We are not supposed to complain about UK's PPE in any of our SM platforms cos "social media policy". As COVID-19 sweeps across the globe, we are witnessing limited availability of PPE, particularly appropriate masks, and being confronted by difficult situations that put our desire to remain safe. From a first world country, I can't even imagine letting the frontliners do the job without proper PPE. It's like going to a war without guns. Even if you can afford your own PPE, the Public Health England won't allow you to wear it just because you want to protect yourself from your own budget cos you have to adhere to their policy. But I just really think that knowing that your people are going in and risking themselves and not giving them the protection they need is just really equivalent to slaughtering. We are not on the peak yet but sooner or later, pretty sure the NHS will be overwhelmed.

Nurses go offsick so patient ratio increased. Imagine handling 3 bays of 4 patients each and that's 12 sick patients in your shift. Gewd lewd, that's too much to handle. But nothing we can do. I just had a word with my colleague yesterday and she was telling me 90% of our patients are now on NRBM (non rebreather mask) and that we ran out of venturi or even humidified. I am still currently on self isolation so I don't really know what it feels doing shift lately.

And facebook has been really toxic nowadays. Too much negativity on the PH government. I mean, boy can you STFU and just do whatever you can to help our poor country. It's not time for politics. The virus is the real enemy and we can't even see it.

On the brighter side, people are "stepping up". Amidst all this, you can see people doing initiatives and helping others which is kinda heart warming. Did a little fundraising to help the less fortunate in this time of crisis and it went surprisingly well (thank y'll to my supportive friends). We'll buy few sacks of rice and canned goods to be distributed.

Easter Sunday today - first thing in the morning, I attended the mass online from Basilica del Sto Nino. It was a great start of the day.I have a lot to say, but I just rly want to finish the prison break so I can start watching boku no hero.I'm jumping from doing one stuff to another just like how I made my rants on here.

Writing things out cos my matyukun said he's gana take a nap for 5 mins but it has been 4 hrs now and counting, and I didn't wanna wake his baby snoring ass cos I think he's just rly tired from being tired + he was the first one who donated on my fundraising thingyyy so yah. ❤

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