#THANK YOU FOR THIS but seriously pick up the google doc bae

[lottiecrabie]

As a recent lottiecrabie enthusiast and longtime feral consumer of a certain M Healy related writings, I saw something about a tutor!au. Here are my dreadful, frankly illegal thoughts. Do whatever you will with them, Lady Lottie. Your works kill me in the sweetest, sexiest way and resuscitate me harshly back to life.

1. You're a maths student , year two in the university. He's the newly joined English TA that's been developing a bit of a reputation for his longwinded rants in class and his unconventional assignments.

2. Like what the fuck is "Write about being an influencer in a dystopian world where you have to sell a graffiti eraser for VR devices after artists are actively vandalising the metaverse"

3. Anyway, hallway whispers about how attractive he is find their way to you but you're wholly unconvinced because pfft, really now, this is a cliche. One drunken evening at the local bar and you're jostling shoulders, he's ordering a long island iced tea just because and eyeing your whiskey on the rocks. He's really as pretentious as you thought he was - a dark mop of curly hair, crisp linen shirt and this dense, buttery jacket scented with menthol, marijuana and bergamot. He has a delicious rasp, holding court with his little circle of friends about how fullstops have come to mean something completely different when people text each other in the present day. There's not much you think of it - except one night after you break things off for good with your boyfriend who asks if you've come five minutes. into sex.

4. That night, you find yourself wondering if his neatly filed nails would leave red crescent commas on your skin, if your moans would be the em dashes between his consecutive thrusts. You imagine him seeing you at work, chalkboards filled with a haze of numbers and letters, you're arguing about why pure math PhDs and English PhDs are really two sides of the same coin, languages to explore the textures of the world.

5. You realise you're irrevocably fucked.

The annual debate between your college and the rival one is announced and you want to take part, as you always do, except this time it's a whole series of complex themes that require you to be assisted by someone else. Guess who you're assigned as your mentor.

6. You can't think straight, but you want to impress him so much. He's pretty much unfazed - logically unfolding his stances like an origami blossom. His mind entices and frustrates you : how can you possibly read Shakespeare today and a bunch of e-girl tweets the next and use both of these in your speeches?! Good lord. The longer you resist the urges, the worse they become. He dances in circles around you. Sleepless nights. Scattered sheets and unfinished drafts. Smoke breaks across the campus. Joints rolled with thin paper you bum from the art department, you sit blowing plumes at each other one orange afternoon. He reveals himself in delicate slices - a flash of a tattoo on his taut abdomen, soft voiced calls to his mother, Heroin by Velvet Underground playing from his tinny earphones.

7. He's dissatisfied - there's some verve and rawness that's missing from your stage presence. you're not emoting enough. He jokingly wonders what the cause might be - the lack of sleep, or the lack of sleeping together? Wait, you haven't had sex in months? There it is.

8. He says that sex sells. In order to convince the audience, you need to have seduce them with your mind.

Prove it, you say.

9. He finds May I Feel by e.e cummings and decides to walk around you as you take turns to recite it. By the fifth line, you've had enough. His knees are behind to yours, his skin branding into your stockings. He places his fucking mouth close, so close to your ear - warm enough to entice you with the possibility of a kiss, but instead he takes it away just as swiftly.

10. "let's go said he

not too far said she

what's too far said he

where you are said she" (side note - I recommend listening to the Tom Hiddleston version of the poem!)

You laugh, because it's so bitterly on the nose. He wonders aloud if he's really too far - too far away from you, that is.

His first kiss is like a wine tasting. He sips and nibbles your lips, sweetly parting it with his inquiring tongue. His fingers snake across your body, a low laugh caught in his throat when his hands brush your guilty nipples. Dilated pupils, and filthy promises. His kisses are poisonous, intoxicating.

11. Rutting mindlessly over his desk. Panting, whining in back seat of your car. Wet kisses in a darkened theatre. Hand jobs in the library, leaving the both of you a shivering mess. He is relentless, rendering you feverish for more. He refuses to have sex until he's satisfied his desire to explore you enough.

12. You try to take matters into your own hands and dress in a tiny skirt, with the smallest scrap of lace covering your soaking cunt. You end up over his lap, his handprints still warm on your back.

13. He worships you. He spits in your mouth. He ties your hands to the bedframe. He calls you sweetheart, baby, my darling. He doesn't stop edging you. He makes you read poems and eats you out, with the threat of stopping if you stutter even a little. He makes you think, he makes you dream, he makes you laugh.

14. You don't care about the debate anymore.

oh my god this was so lovely!! love when u guys leave me blurbs like this to read i feel like I’m the one getting bedtime stories for change. you have such a vivid and imagery way of writing it’s so beautiful. the prose is so delicate and effective; i can so clearly Feel and See the moment. i especially love ‘his first kiss is like a wine tasting’ and ‘you sit blowing plumes at each other one orange afternoon’. get on tumblr mama start writing there’ll be a spot opening up soon✊

although this is a lot more professor!matty than tutor!au🕺 (the tutor!au staples are weird loser virgin nerd with cool popular bitchy experienced girl) you actually kinda knocked it out of the park for professor like yeah that guy is making her read poetry while eating her out. yes ofc they’re making out on his desk. well yeah he’s debating you and only getting you more worked up for him