#THERE WAS A COLLECTIVE SAPPHIC GASP IN THE THEATER

[notebookpapers]

“will you shut up about Thor for a minute” MY BROTHER IN CHRIST THE ROCKS ARE HAVING GAY SEX

[organabanana]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supergirl Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen  Characters: Alex Danvers, Kelly Olsen (Supergirl TV 2015)  Additional Tags: implied supercorp dumbery, alex's malfunctioning gaydar, strap-on talk, Domestic Fluff Summary: Alex and Kelly discuss sapphic culture, watch a movie, consider strap-ons, and make the most of same-day delivery. I could pretend there's a plot here but honestly it's just domestic fluff for a cute little prompt. Notes: Written for the prompt "Imagine Me & You" for the Pride theme at @femslashexchange. First time writing Dansen so I hope you'll enjoy!

[ao3 link]

“Stop staring at me like that! I thought you people were supposed to be non-judgmental.”

If Kelly takes issue with Alex’s tone when referring to psychologists as ‘you people’, she certainly doesn’t show it. She just keeps staring, body turned to face Alex’s on the couch and palms neatly resting on her knees like she’s trying to keep her composure in the face of an unhinged patient or something.

Which is, if you ask Alex, an overreaction.

“We are. I wouldn’t say I’m judging you per se, it’s just—“ Kelly presses her lips together for a moment, clearly trying to come up with non-judgmental words to convey her very judgmental (Alex can read it all over her face) thoughts. “It’s just— you’ve really never—“

“Never.” Alex shrugs, like it’s no big deal. Actually, you know what? She shrugs because it’s no big deal.

“But you’ve… I mean, at least you must be familiar with it? Word of mouth, if nothing else?”

Alex contemplates for a moment, lips pursed slightly as she looks up like she’s expecting to find some kind of cue card on the ceiling of their apartment.

“Not really?” she finally decides, after a few moments of soul-searching, “I don’t really— I mean I know it’s uh… lesbian adjacent?” Alex illustrates how unsure she is about that particular statement with a swishy hand motion, but it clearly does nothing to impress her girlfriend.

“Lesbian adjac— Alex!” Kelly’s eyes widen as she finally loses all semblance of professional poker face (not that she’d been doing a great job before, mind you) and lets out an incredulous chuckle. “It’s not lesbian adjacent, it’s— it’s a cornerstone of sapphic culture!”

“Oh come on, Kel!” It’s Alex’s turn to laugh now, more than a little bit charmed by just how passionate her otherwise very rational girlfriend seems to be about something as silly as this. “It’s so not a cornerstone of sapphic anything. Strap-ons? Sure, I could see that. Some dumb—“

“Do not finish that sent— wait, did you just say strap-ons?”

Alex shrugs. She said what she said. She’s also acutely aware of the very visible (and oh, so very pretty) glow on her girlfriend’s cheeks, no matter how hard Kelly tries to look unaffected.

“Anyway,” Kelly shakes her head just so, and Alex could not possibly be any more enamored by the way she clears her throat and shifts on her seat, “as I was saying, I’m surprised a lesbian over thirty has never seen Imagine Me & You, that’s all.”

“Eh. I’m not much for rom-coms. Can we go back to strap-ons for a minute, though? I feel like there’s a conversation to be had there.”

Alex can see the struggle right there in Kelly’s eyes. Will Kelly Olsen drop an argument, mild as this particular one may be, before it’s been thoroughly resolved? Will she give in to the heat Alex can nearly feel radiating off her cheeks and talk about sex toys instead?

“Would you wear it, or would I?” Alex asks, choosing to give her girlfriend a small nudge in the (obvious, if you ask her) right direction.

“You don’t like romantic comedies?” Kelly says at exactly the same time, looking at Alex like she’s suddenly sprouted a second head.

Alex groans, throwing her head back against the couch in such despair she nearly doesn’t hear Kelly’s next words.

“You. I think?”

Oh.

Alex is once again fully engaged with the conversation, licking her lips as she straightens her back and turns to focus on her girlfriend. “Yeah?” Alex can feel heat rising to her own cheeks now, oddly flattered by Kelly’s choice. “You think?”

There’s a certain warmth to Kelly’s smile when she looks into Alex’s eyes. The kind of warmth that lets Alex know Kelly has somehow read her thoughts and understood them, likely better than Alex herself. “I think you could pull it off, yes,” she says, long fingers wrapping around Alex’s and tugging lightly to encourage her to get a little closer.

Alex would love to be the kind of woman who can keep this back and forth of flirty banter going for a while. She’d love to be the kind of woman who can tease and flirt and play the part of the cool lesbian who knows she’s hot stuff. But the thing is, Kelly is just so beautiful. She’s soft and warm and she thinks Alex could pull off a strap-on and she’s practically begging for a kiss (which Alex immediately gives her, of course, she’s not a monster), and how could Alex possibly resist?

How could anyone, really?

Those cool lesbians simply have never had Kelly Olsen’s bedroom eyes directed at them.

“Wanna go on-line shopping?” Alex whispers between the second kiss and the third, grinning when Kelly’s fingers slide into her hair, “I bet they have same-day delivery.”

Kelly chuckles, light and sweet against Alex’s lips and fully obliterating whatever crumbs of coolness Alex may have had left. “In a rush, are we?”

“Lil bit, yeah,” Alex freely admits, a bit too taken with the way Kelly smiles at her to care if she’s proving once again she’s not the coolest where her girlfriend is involved. But, again — how could anyone resist? Kelly shifts on the couch, smoothly readjusting their position until she’s on her back with Alex on top of her, and Alex is pretty sure she’s peaked. Life simply doesn’t get any better than this.

(Alex has thought she’s peaked, on average, around twice a day since she started dating Kelly. Don’t you dare judge her.)

Kelly’s neck smells faintly of lavender when Alex trails kisses up warm skin towards the spot right behind Kelly’s ear.

“Soap thief,” she whispers, teeth gently nipping and making Kelly let out a sound that falls somewhere between a laugh and a gasp, “for shame.”

Kelly doesn’t answer right away. She lets Alex bask in the feeling of having the upper hand for a few seconds, slips her own hands under Alex’s shirt to grab at the solid muscles on her back, spreads her legs so Alex’s thigh can slot between them… and then she speaks.

“Will your cock be lavender too?”

Alex makes a sound. Unfortunately, because it’s neither sexy nor dignified. She sputters, really. Nearly chokes on her own breath. In her defense… well, honestly, she doesn’t think she needs a defense. Who wouldn’t be disarmed by her girlfriend, all warm and soft and rocking against her thigh with purpose, suddenly bringing up lavender cocks?

Come on now.

“W— would you like it lavender?” Alex manages to ask, voice slightly higher than normal as she pushes herself up on her hands to look into Kelly’s eyes. And maybe also to shift her weight onto her knee, her thigh pressing a little harder between Kelly’s legs. “Do you want it lavender?”

“Baby,” Kelly sighs and arches her back just slightly — just enough to make the column of her neck impossible to resist, so Alex presses an open-mouthed kiss to Kelly’s throat and feels the words vibrate against her lips as they come out, “I want it yours.”

***

Alex’s brain doesn’t fully recover until nearly two hours later, when she’s sitting at her desk staring at the tracking website for the package they will be receiving at some point within that same day.

Technology, right? What a wonderful thing.

“Are you still watching that?” Kelly’s tone is teasing as she walks out of the bathroom brushing her fingers through her freshly washed, still wet hair. “Are you expecting it to just teleport here by sheer force of will?”

Alex shrugs. She’s familiar enough with Martian tech to hold out hope for that happening. And honestly, considering the requests Kelly made regarding size while choosing the (lavender, yes) toy, Alex is pretty sure not even staring unblinkingly at her screen fully qualifies her as the most eager person in the room.

“You know it won’t be here for at least a couple hours,” Kelly insists, “but I know just how we could fill the time.”

It’s like a switch has been flipped. One second Alex is staring at the screen, and the next she’s pretty much forgotten there’s a package to receive. Alex wouldn’t call the look on Kelly’s eyes flirty, exactly, but it’s certainly something. Playful, maybe. Is playful better than flirty?

Alex is oh-so-ready to find out.

“Yeah?” Alex says, already on her feet and moving towards Kelly.

Kelly nods, eyes practically sparkling as she sits on the couch once again.

And Alex, of course, follows her.

Who wouldn’t?

Kelly kisses her first. Something short and sweet that leaves Alex smiling and hoping for a reprise. But instead, Kelly speaks.

“We can watch Imagine Me & You.”

Alex groans, and she’d be lying if she said there isn’t at least a bit of dramatic flair involved in the intensity of her despair. “Kelly! I told you I don’t like romcoms!”

“But you love romance!” Kelly motions in the general direction of the shelf that’s nearly overflowing with little mementos of their life together. A box full of movie theater tickets, a dried flower from the first time they celebrated Valentine’s day, the cork from the first bottle of wine they drank in their home… and the collection is very much maintained (and steadily grown) by Alex. “How can you not like romantic comedies? They should be right up your alley.”

“I like real romance. Not… fake, decaf romance.”

And it’s not a controversial statement, Alex thinks. It’s pretty much common sense. There’s real life, and then there’s movies. There’s real romance — the kind that makes her laugh and cry and get butterflies in her stomach — and then there’s Hollywood’s version of romance, which feels hollow most of the time. Everyone knows that, right?

So why is Kelly looking at her like she’s just cracked some kind of code?

“What? Stop being creepy. I liked it better when you were judging me earlier.”

“But you like big dramatic romance movies,” Kelly prods, “right?”

“Well, sure, but that’s different.”

“Because…” Kelly nods encouragingly.

“I don’t know, Kel. I guess because rom-coms are just kinda…” Alex sighs, “I don’t know.”

“Insubstantial?” Kelly offers, “hard to engage with beyond mindless entertainment? Alienating, even, in a way?”

“Right!” Freaking finally, Kelly gets it. Alex isn’t weird. This is a universal phenomenon, obviously. “Exactly! Exactly that.”

“Honey,” Kelly pats the back of Alex’s hand affectionately, voice down to just barely above a whisper, “that’s ‘cause you’re gay.”

Alex scoffs, somewhere between amused and outraged. “That doesn’t even make any sense.”

Kelly’s eyes narrow just slightly. There’s a glint to them that Alex knows very well. It’s the look Kelly gets when she knows she’s right.

“Tell you what,” Kelly says, leaning over to grab the remote from the coffee table and then leaning against Alex’s side as she turns on the tv, “you watch this one movie with me, indulge my scientific curiosity, and if you haven’t changed your mind by the end I’ll drop the subject forever.”

It’s not a bad offer. Alex purses her lips and pretends to think about it very seriously anyway, just because it’s one thing to be thoroughly whipped when it comes to her girlfriend, but it’s a whole different story to not even try to pretend she can put her foot down once in a while.

Besides, she loves the way Kelly’s face lights up when Alex finally (inevitably) says yes.

“Okay, fine,” Alex sighs just to offset the sheer size of her heart eyes when Kelly does, in fact, light up, “one movie.”

Kelly practically flies through their streaming options, clearly more than familiar with the location of Imagine Me & You. And there are so many questions Alex could ask. So many ways she could poke fun at her girlfriend for what’s clearly a bit of a fangirly obsession. But right when Kelly presses play, Alex notices something that pulls her attention in an entirely different direction.

“Piper Perabo! Oh, I love her,” she sighs, wrapping an arm around Kelly’s shoulders as her girlfriend snuggles into her preferred movie-watching position, “I watched Coyote Ugly a million times as a teen. My mom ended up getting me the DVD so I’d stop renting it every single week.”

Kelly chuckles lightly, draping one arm across Alex’s waist. “And that didn’t give you any hints that you might have been a bit gay?”

Alex shrugs. Whether she’d been really oblivious or just in denial, she’s at a point in her life and her journey now where she can make a bit of fun of her teenage self. “What can I say? My gaydar’s never been the most finely tuned.”

“Yeah, no kidding. Just look at the Kara thing.”

“The what now?” Alex looks away from the screen to stare at Kelly instead. As far as she’s aware — and she’s a very observant vigilante, mind you — there’s no such thing as ‘the Kara thing’, whatever that means. And what would that have to do with her (lack of a) gaydar, anyway? “What Kara thing?”

“Nothing,” Kelly points at the screen, “watch the movie.”

“No, what did you me— is that Cersei Lannister?”

“Oh, yeah. She’s so good in this. I may have a bit of a crush.”

“On Cersei freaking Lannister, Kel?” Alex lets out an amused chuckle. “I’m honestly not sure how I feel about that.”

“Will you please just watch the movie?”

“Fine, fine, sheesh,” Alex moves her hand down Kelly’s side just to gently poke at a particularly ticklish spot, “but I can’t promise I won’t be too freaked out about Cersei to fully focus.”

But there’s Piper Perabo in a beautiful wedding dress flashing a beautiful smile, and really, not even Cersei Lannister being on the receiving end of that smile can stop Alex from getting sucked into the movie and what’s happening in it.

She watches a ring fall into a punch bowl and exchanged looks and smiles. She hears, much to her surprise, unspoken lines between Piper Perabo and Cersei Lannister that make her smile at the screen because yeah— yeah, she’s been there. She’s smiled like that. She’s felt like that. She’s so enthralled by the movie that it’s only when she feels herself laugh at Cersei’s friend calling herself ecstatic that she realizes she’s been quiet for a while.

“Ok, that was funny. Most rom-coms aren’t even really coms.”

“You’re enjoying this,” Kelly says, her voice full of teasing glee.

Alex feels color rise to her cheeks. “Will you please just watch the movie?”

Kelly doesn’t argue this time.

There’s a science presentation in the dark, pinky fingers nearly touching, a very questionable choice at the movie rental place — “oh, no, you don’t want to learn from Georgie’s Bush” — and then there’s a date.

Alex feels Kelly hold her a little tighter when Rachel asks Luce — who cares about Cersei Lannister, anyway? — to put both her arms around her, and she feels herself smile like a fool when the lily’s meaning is shared. And then. Then there’s almost a kiss, but not quite, and Rachel barging into the flower shop, and Alex is fully invested now. There’s simply no turning back.

“Oh! Oh, no, Rachel, it can’t be over!” She says out loud, because this poor conflicted woman clearly needs advice. “Don’t leave her— oh, she’s back!”

Alex has seen so many on-screen kisses. So many.

She’s watched hundreds of love stories, from cartoons to dark thrillers and everything in between. She’s been having regular movie nights with Kara since she was a teenager, and most times the chosen movie has at least one romantic storyline, if not several.

But this.

This lands somewhere deep inside her chest. And when the kiss ends because Luce has thorns in her bum, Alex realizes there are tears running down her face.

“You all right, baby?” Kelly shifts to press a kiss to Alex’s cheek, catching a tear with her lips.

“Uh huh,” Alex nods. And then she stops nodding. She even stops holding Kelly, because she needs both hands to cover her eyes. “Oh, God. Oh, not him. I can’t watch this.”

But she does anyway. Through the spaces between her fingers at first, and then fully because one of her hands is covering her mouth now, the other holding Kelly once again.

“Don’t tell her to go!” She says, voice watery and just a little shaky as she struggles to keep herself together. But it lasts only as long as it takes for Luce to ask Rachel to remember her, because, “she won’t—“ Alex hiccups, “she won’t remember anything else, Kel.”

“I know, honey.”

Alex nods. She’s crying now. Really crying. Watching Rachel tell her sleeping husband doesn’t help, and neither does her conversation with her parents — though it does pull a watery chuckle out of Alex — or Luce’s talk to her mom. She’s still crying when people pile into a car and start chasing Luce’s cab, because she knows this is going to have a happy ending. Right? That’s the beauty of romantic comedies.

“Oh, the song!” She stage whispers, pointing at the screen when the cyclist rides past the car, and then gasps when Rachel climbs onto the roof of the car. “She’s gonna do it, isn’t she? She’s gonna call number nine a wanker for her lady?”

“A bit cheesy, huh?”

Alex’s eyes widen in utter disbelief. “Cheesy?” She tears her eyes away from the screen once that last kiss is over just to shoot Kelly an indignant look. “How dare you.”

Kelly chuckles, something soft and quiet as she rearranges herself on the couch to free her hands so she can help wipe tears from Alex’s face. “So? What did you think?”

Alex sniffles. She’s not quite done crying yet, but she can still try and maintain at least a crumb of dignity after spectacularly losing this particular argument. “All right,” she concedes, shrugging one shoulder like she’s not at all still a bit weepy over Piper Perabo getting her girl, “it was okay.”

“Yeah?” Kelly reaches for the tissue box on the coffee table and holds it so Alex can take one (or five).

“It wasn’t awful,” Alex says, blowing her nose, and then contemplates simply leaving it at that. But she can’t help herself. “Can we watch more?”

Kelly grins. “More romantic comedies?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” Kelly echoes, pressing a lingering kiss to Alex’s lips, “we can start a bit of a sapphic movie night tradition. We can ask Kara and Lena to join in.”

Well, that’s weird. Don’t get her wrong, Alex loves her sister and Lena and watching movies together, but she’s not following Kelly’s leap from sapphic cinema to them. And her confusion must be written all over her face, because Kelly explains even before Alex can ask.

“You know. To expand their film horizons.” There’s something in Kelly’s tone that makes Alex feel like there’s more to it than that, but she’s a bit busy dealing with her post-movie emotions to investigate. “Besides, Lena always brings amazing wine when we have them over.”

Alex is about to agree — Lena does have excellent taste in wine — but the doorbell distracts her before she can.

The doorbell.

Same-day delivery.

“Oh, it’s here!” Kelly practically leaps to her feet, pressing the button to let the delivery person in and standing by the door to wait for them to make their way upstairs.

“Dammit, Kel. Look at me,” Alex sniffles and grabs a handful of tissues to try and fully dry her face, “how am I supposed to — and I quote ��� ‘fuck you into the mattress’ like this?”

Kelly winks at her just as the doorbell rings. “Trust me, baby. I’ll help you with that.”

And you know what? Alex has no reason to doubt that she will.