#THIS IS JUST ME VENTING I GUESS I DUNNO just feeling like an outlier a bit I guess dghudfg imma stop rambling and just.

[xbraveheartx]

Gently considers... Carmeo/Promeo discord server... hmmm...

[eyenaku]

vent sorta because I don’t understand how like. Humans work and I’m super frustrated and I don’t have anyone to talk to rn but i need to like. say it somewhere if ykwim

I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE CANT JUST? TALK, like. WHy can't people behave in a straightforward way. It’s like there’s all these unwritten unspoken rules of social interaction and nobody tells you if they’re mad they just act different and I can’t tell if they’re mad at me or not or if they’re even acting upset?

It’s like social interaction is this super elaborate dance that I haven’t been taught and I don’t understand how to learn ? Why are there so many things and how come everyone understands it but I can’t?

I understand animals!! It’s so straightforward! I can read body language of animals get along with them easily but with people I just. I don’t understand and it’s so frustrating

I get along well with the elderly and with younger kids because they’re very? Simple? Or straightforward I guess is a better word because they don’t bother with all the extra stuff for the most part I just. Don’t get it. And people often say these demographics are very blunt! And it's like yea! That's easy to understand!! There's not 500 extra things that make no sense that I don't know what to say to keep up with everyone else!!

And it’s not something I can just? Learn either like. I try, I can pick up patterns in behavior and learn what people are feeling when they are behaving a certain way and how to like. Work around it but even then it’s really? Not good like I’m not good at it, it’s really weird feeling and usually ends up with people more upset because nobody SAYS ANYTHING if something is up?!?

I dunno I’m just really frustrated right now I don’t understand? How everything works and it’s really messing with me because Everyone Else Around Me Can Do It! I’m the outlier and it’s so weird because? It’s their behavior that seems irrational to me? Like it’s stuff that makes 0 sense so me because it has a straightforward solution or it’s just. Irrational I dunno? I don’t understand it and I can’t explain it it’s just. It weird

does this make sense to anyone else or am I like genuinely just not understanding something I should??? I don't understand anything and it's just AUHHH

hhdjchdjjd I’m so frustrated

[legendofzeldaalinktothepast]

Solar Power 

Fandom: She-Ra (2018) 

Ship: Platonic Scorpia and Entrapta, mentions of romantic Scorpia/Perfuma 

Words: 2204 

Rating: G 

The princesses are having a sleepover, and Scorpia is having trouble fitting in; fortunately, Entrapta understands where she’s coming from. 

Scorpia shoved the window open and took in the fresh, summer night air. 'Breathe, girlie. It's gonna be fine.' she reminded herself, counting her breaths and taking comfort in the silence around her. Just taking a moment to herself immediately brought her anxiety down a few notches -- at least enough to think straight again.

'Ugh... I knew this would happen. Why do you always get so nervous around them? It's not like they're gonna bite you!' she thought, rubbing her face with her claws.

She turned towards the bathroom sink and splashed her face with some cold water, finally grounding herself. 'Alright, Scorpia. You can do this! You're supposed to be the tough girl, and you've handled far worse than a slumber party!' Slicking back her hair, she took one last deep breath and unlocked the bathroom door, heading back towards the main living room. 'Just think of it like the bunks at the horde. It's basically that, but with more perfume and less-ugly pajamas!’ 

The sound of chatter and scent of baking cookies filled the hallway. Excitement rose up in Scorpia's chest; while she was never fond of eating sweets (years of consuming those bland horde rations really screwed with her taste buds), the smell of them was definitely pleasant, even nostalgic in a way.

Once Scorpia reached the living room, she bit her lip; now came the struggle of joining the crowd. Again. 'Ugh, no, don't think of it as a crowd! That's exactly what caused my little meltdown in the first place.' she thought, shaking her head. 'I gotta think of it as... Little clusters. Clusters I can handle.'

And she wasn't wrong; while all of the princesses were hanging out in the same general area, they had also formed smaller, more manageable groups... Catra, Adora, and Glimmer were chatting in the kitchen while the cookies baked. Perfuma and Entrapta were playing a game of chess on the floor nearby. Spinnerella, Netossa, and Frosta were standing by the fireplace, while the youngest of the three loudly told a story, which the married couple listened to with amused expressions. Mermista, an outlier, had fallen asleep on the couch.

'Hmm... which cluster to join...' she thought. In all honesty, Mermista's sounded the most appealing, but just flopping down and falling asleep next to her probably wouldn't make a good impression. Even she knew that. 'Maybe I could listen to whatever story Frosta is telling? That'll give me an excuse not to talk, but at least I'd be part of something!' she thought with a grin. With her goal clear in mind, however, she'd completely forgotten about Entrapta and Perfuma playing chess right in front of her, and ended up stepping on their board.

"Oh, uh, hey, girls!" Scorpia greeted, awkwardly waving a claw. "Sorry about that, I'm such a ditz, heh..."

"That's okay, I'm a ditz too!" Entrapta grinned.

"Neither of you are a ditz! Accidents happen." Perfuma smiled warmly, picking up the chess pieces.

Scorpia's heart fluttered. "S-still, I didn't wanna ruin your game! Here, lemme help." She sat down on the floor beside them, helping place the pieces back on the chess board. "Let's see... This one goes here, I think. Queens go next to the horses, right?" Scorpia said, holding the queen and knight piece in each claw.

"I-it's alright, I mostly remembered where my pieces were!" Perfuma reassured, taking the pieces from Scorpia's claws and placing it back on the board.

"Heh, me too!" Entrapta said, eagerly placing her own pieces back on the black and white tiles.

"Mind if I join the game? I've never played this before!" Scorpia said.

"Oh, unfortunately it's only a two player game..." Perfuma smiled sadly. "But once we're done with this round, you can play against Entrapta!"

"Checkmate! Scorpia's turn!" Entrapta grinned, making her knight piece jump over Perfuma's king.

Perfuma narrowed her eyes. "Did you re-arrange the board in your favor? I am almost positive your knight was not that close to my king."

"Maaaaybe." Entrapta folded her hands politely and tilted her head.

Perfuma rolled her eyes. "Well, it's no big deal," she said with a shrug. "After all, winning isn't everything! What matters is we had fun." She rose to her feet, smoothing out her night gown. "Scorpia, you can take my spot now! I think I'll get myself some tea."

"Thanks, flowergirl." Scorpia said with a wink. Perfuma rose to her feet, and Scorpia scooted over to where she'd been sitting. As she set the chess pieces back to their original places (or well... to the best of her ability. She really had no idea how this worked), she found her gaze shifting back and forth towards Perfuma, even long after she'd headed into the kitchen.

Entrapta gave Scorpia a nudge with her pigtail, causing her to jump. "Do you want me to tell you the rules?" she asked.

"Oh, uh... Nope, I'm good." she said, too ashamed to admit she had no idea how to play chess.

Entrapta cackled. "That's good, because I didn't want to! Chess is soo boring, but Perfuma really wanted to play it, and it only felt fair since she's been listening to me tell her about my newest robot all night -- her name is Sandra, you should meet her! But anyway, let's play something else!"

Scorpia didn't respond; her gaze was still cast towards the kitchen, and anxiety still lingered in her chest. It took her a moment to even process Entrapta's suggestion. "Oh! Uh, sure! What kind of game?"

Entrapta cupped Scorpia's face. "First, let's play a game called 'Tell Entrapta Why The Heck You're So Nervous Right Now'."

Scorpia burst into laughter; for the first time that night, she'd begun to loosen up a bit. "Oh, I dunno, just... I guess just. I've never been really good at these kinds of things, ya know?"

"Oh, I totally know!" Entrapta nodded. "Like, the whole... People thing. Especially when it's other princesses." She blushed a little.

Scorpia smiled. "Yeah... I'm glad at least someone does." she sighed. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a lot of fun, and I'm glad I was invited! But... When everyone seems to fall into their little groups, and it gets loud and overwhelming... I dunno, I just feel so wrong, like I shouldn't be here."

"Ohh..." Entrapta said, tapping her chin. "Hey, you wanna go outside?"

"Uh, sure! What are we gonna do?" Scorpia asked, confused by the sudden shift in topic.

"Follow me." Entrapta said, and before Scorpia could question any further, she lifted herself up by her pigtails and scurried towards the door. Scorpia hauled herself up to her feet, glancing back one last time -- Perfuma had permanently joined the kitchen cluster, and Spinerella glanced Scorpia's way for a mere split second before turning back to Frosta -- and then continued out the door.

For a moment, she'd wondered if Entrapta had just up and vanished -- but soon enough she spotted her, sitting on the branch of a nearby tree. How she'd gotten up there so quickly was beyond Scorpia. She approached her with an amused expression on her face. "Whoa... You sure know how to climb."

Entrapta giggled. "Yeah, come on up! It's nice up here!"

"Ah, but... I'm a little heavier than you are, are you sure it's safe?" she asked; even with a body as tiny as Entrapta's, the branch seemed to be bending ever so slightly beneath her weight.

"Well... I could take some of the tools out of my pockets!" Entrapta said. At first, Scorpia thought the idea was absurd... but then she began pulling wrenches out of her pockets, one by one, and for a moment Scorpia thought it would go on forever... But soon enough, there was a pile of wrenches and various tools on the ground that probably weighed even more than Scorpia. How Entrapta had managed to fit all of those in her pockets was beyond her.

"There we go! Now it should be safe for you to join." Entrapta smiled.

"Heh, I guess I can't say no, now." With a grunt, she lifted herself up onto the branch of the tree, seating herself beside Entrapta. It took herself a moment to balance properly -- what she had in strength, she lacked in grace... But at least it wasn't too high, so if she fell, she'd get a couple bruises if she was unlucky.

"You ever hear of solar powered technology?" Entrapta asked, tilting her head.

"Yeah! That's stuff powered by the sun, right?" Scorpia said.

"Correct!" Entrapta said. "Like, one time I made a solar powered robot, and when I forgot to charge her battery, she had a lot of trouble functioning at night, or on super cloudy days... But when I do remember to let her charge in the mornings, she's able to do the most amazing things!" Entrapta flapped her hands. "Her name's Sandra!"

"Oh right, you mentioned her earlier!" Scorpia said, though she wasn't quite sure where Entrapta was going with this.

"Yeah! I think you'd love to meet her." Entrapta said. "Anyway, there was a reason I brought this up... Oh, right! Well, sometimes I'm kinda like Sandra. If I don't take some time to charge myself up -- in this case, just sitting somewhere quiet, maybe even twirling a wrench around -- and I go into a place with lots of people and noise, I kinda just break down, like Sandra! So that's why I always make sure to find some kinda quiet place when I go to sleepovers. Usually I just climb around in the vents, but I had a feeling that wouldn't be your thing, so that's why we're outside!"

"Oh, I know what you mean" Scorpia brightened up. "That's really nice of you. I tried doing a little recharging in the bathroom, but... Then I started worrying people would think I was sick, so I headed out before I was actually... You know, ready." She sighed, leaning her head against the trunk of the tree. "Like, I really do love being with the girls, but... They're so hard to connect with sometimes, and it gets noisy with all the talking and music and smells of perfume and food... None of which are bad, by the way! It's just... too much at once. Especially when Perfuma's around, I mean..." Scorpia blushed, not sure if she wanted to elaborate.

Entrapta scooted a little closer to Scorpia. "No wonder you looked like you weren't having fun. You weren't ready to come hang out with people. And what's Perfuma have to do with it?"

Scorpia blushed. "Ugh, she's just... Really pretty, you know? And I'm not really sure where we stand..."

"Is Perfuma your girlfriend?" Entrapta asked.

"Mmmmmaybe." Scorpia turned her head to the side. "Kind of? I don't know. Ugh, but she's so outgoing and extroverted and good with people, and I kinda worry that I'm getting ahead of myself and that I'll look like an idiot if I assume she is, and it turns out she doesn't feel the same..."

"You'll probably look like an idiot either way." Entrapta shrugged. "But if you are dating, and you assume you're not, that'll probably hurt her feelings. So it’s better to assume that you are. I mean, I'd be flattered if you assumed you were my girlfriend, even if I see our relationship as more platonic."

Scorpia chuckled. "Guess you're right about that." she said with a sigh. "You're a really good friend, you know?"

Entrapta blushed. "Thanks... I've been trying really hard lately, and well... Sometimes people still think I'm a bad friend."

"Hey, I think they just don't really get you." Scorpia shrugged. "But I do, because I'm the same way."

Entrapta flapped her hands. "Yes! That's very true! Our brains were wired in similar ways, so it only makes sense that you'd get me!" she said. "But you know what? That doesn't mean the other princesses won't like you! And that doesn't mean Perfuma doesn't, either. Like, it was really hard for me to get along with Perfuma too, but now I play chess with her, and she asks me questions about robots!"

"Yeah, I guess that's true." Scorpia smiled. "Thanks for letting me talk this out with you, girlie. I'm feeling a lot better, now..."

Just then, the door behind them swung open. "Hey, dweebs!" Frosta called from the castle, cupping her hands around her mouth. "Karaoke starts in five minutes, so ya better get your butts in here if you wanna sing!"

Scorpia brightened up immediately. "I'll be right there!" she called. "You coming, Entrapta?"

"Mm, need a few more minutes to recharge..." Entrapta said, kicking her legs. "But you can go in without me! I'll probably be able to listen from out here, anyway."

"Hah, that's true! Especially when I'm the one singing." Scorpia climbed back down from the tree and landed on her toes. "See ya in a bit!"

"See ya!"

Once Scorpia was back inside the castle, Entrapta turned her gaze back up towards the full moon. "Hmm... I wonder if I could make a solar and lunar powered robot..." she mused to nobody in particular, reaching down with her pigtail arm and retrieving one of her wrenches from the grass.