#TRY AGAIN MY BLOG IS STILL THRIVING IDK WHAT UR ON ABOUT

[evansbby]

“me: i don’t want to talk about any gossip surrounding Chris…”

you contributed to it and contributed to the body shaming and hate on him. that’s the reason for your lack of interaction from your followers. other chris blogs are thriving.

huh

[banhchao]

Olivia doesn't want you to "get her out of there" she clearly likes it, you'd be able to tell if you weren't such a damn retard

Okie... first of all when we say “Olivia we’ll get you outta there” we don’t mean away from Taehyung, we mean away from his crazy toxic fans that might send her rude things or say terrible insults about her out of jealousy of her being so close in proximity to him (which ppl have started to see on Twitter already). Kpop stans can get petty and cruel as hell towards women they are jealous of so it was said in a way to defend her from them. Also I’m not gonna be a weirdo and ship them cause she is only 18 and he’s what... 26??? That age gap is 😬😬😬.

Second of all, I’m assuming you are referring to these tags:

When I say “yes I know he’s from BTS still” I’m not saying he’s not Asian (I’m fully aware he is... I’m quite literally ASIAN) i say that as a disclaimer as I’m aware some of my followers don’t like BTS and maybe wouldn’t care to see him. So it’s like “I know he’s from BTS and you guys don’t wanna see him but he still provides asian rep”. I personally have no beef with Taehyung and said NOTHING negative in the tags; I thought the interaction was cute and I like seeing Asian artists from the west and east interacting as it really shows the diverse set of asian rep we get to see in the media. A Korean singer from the homeland and a half-Filipina singer from America - it’s a fun interaction to see. That’s ALL I said. Like girl... you are reaching so hard it’s like you WANT me to hate him. Also fuck off??? This is my blog; I didn’t invite you here!!! You barged in, unwanted!!!

Hello iamxueyang (yes I am finally dropping your URL because I know it’s you; you are the only racist and transphobic white girl to constantly drop into my inbox and harass and insult me despite how many times I’ve blocked your anons), you have been nothing but hostile, volatile and rude to me despite me having done NOTHING to you. You have been extremely racist and misogynistic to me, you have treated me like shit and your personal punching bag when I don’t agree with you (despite it being YOU visiting my blog and getting yourself riled up and despite ME having blocked you), you have lied to me to try to prove your points (even going as so far to racefake) and you continue to harass me despite my boundaries having been clearly set that I have no interest interacting with someone racist, transphobic and quite frankly... fucking mean. you called me the r-slur over what... you thinking I was insulting some kpop boy? and insinuating I’m dirty and disgusting and jealous and bitter of what??? Of who??? cause I’m SE Asian and not E Asian? Cause I’m presumably ugly and unloved??? Idk where you find the gall to run ur mouth to strangers on the internet like this just because they don’t agree with you or like the same things you do, despite you not knowing a single THING or EXPERIENCE about me but it’s fucking disgusting and horrible. And the fact you have been harassing me for so long knowing fully well you don’t even LIKE me. It’s as if you thrive off being mean to random people you don’t even know (no this is not a brave and badass move like you may think it is, this is harassment).

I have tried to be nice to you iamxueyang despite having to deal with your racism and misogyny. I have tried to understand you. I know you are young and learning so I tried all I could to answer your questions and be civil. I never even explicitly revealed your URL until now cause i didn’t want ppl coming after you for all of the shitty things you say to me cause again I know you are young. But this time, you have gone too far. You constantly hit me with nothing but these rude and mocking insults and comments, with racism, misogyny, invalidation and treat me like an evil villain. For what?! Am I even a human to you? Do I not have feelings, experiences and emotions? Am I just a worthless, faceless being?!

I don’t know what you want to achieve being a bully to strangers on the internet on behalf of a bunch of asian men you fetishize, iamxueyang but you need to stop harassing strangers, respect boundaries and ... stop being so racist, misogynistic and transphobic?!? LIKE?!?! Idk why your bio says “uwu racists fuck off i don’t like you” when you have been NOTHING but horribly racist and cruel to me! Like ma’am you gotta get that out of your bio cause you are NO ALLY if you are racist to asian women and fetishize asian men! your young age DOES NOT mean you can harass random strangers on the internet nor be a racist, transphobe or misogynist!!! I feel terribly sorry for the other ppl you have probably harassed to death here and maybe even in real life with your bigotry and cruelty!!! if you refuse to respect the boundaries of others (and their human rights for that matter) you need to get off the internet!!! AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! like I rlly don’t understand why you are so obsessed with this blog and yet only view my posts with malicious intent? I hope to GOD you don’t treat ppl irl like this; they deserve so much better than to be poorly treated as I was by you. You cannot have healthy relationships if you constantly refuse to respect people.

I am incredibly tired and frustrated of having to deal with you constantly despite it being clear I want nothing to do with you but even now, I can’t express myself fully because I KNOW you will somehow twist this into me being the “oversensitive, angry, unreasonable, jealous and bitter WOC” if I do.

To my followers, I implore that you do not interact with this user and just block them. Don’t send hate messages of any sort; I don’t condone any sort of hate sent on my behalf and I condemn violent threats of any sort. I have no interest stooping so low to some random teen girl that doesn’t see me as human. And truth be told, I have no desire for this to escalate any further. Also, this person has an extremely strong victim complex and will twist the narrative to make themselves be the victim; please do not give them any sort of ammo. For your mental health and safety, please block and report even. I don’t wish any of you to have to deal with this sorta harassment; you are all far too precious.

[cedarmoons]

do you have tips for creating memorable oc's? yours are always great

this ask is perfectly timed because I’ve recently played the mobile game Stellamore by @willowishstudios (available now on iOS and Android!) and I’ve FALLEN IN LOVE. Cipactli babe… call me… (jk i’ll call u 😏😘)

So! Let’s go overboard in answering this ask and create a brand new OC for Stellamore, step-by-step! Under the cut for length. :)

My method of creating OCs is like a toddler fiddling with building blocks. I start with a base and build from there, adding rooms, removing towers, etc., as I see fit, until I have a basic structure that passes as a castle. It should be mentioned that @vide0-nasties has been instrumental in helping me develop my MCs in various ways, and I love her to pieces!

First Step: Inspiration

So before I decide anything about my OC, personality, name, etc, I look at inspirations: what is in the game, and what can I build off of it? The devs have helpfully provided some inspirations for the Stellamore world, so that’s what I’m going to use as a launching pad. Initially, I looked at Halle, who has clear Scandinavian influences, and I was like “nice… viking girl…” but I did further lore delving and I don’t think Halle is human lmfao so THAT was out! Back to the drawing board.

Ooh, okay, so there’s Roman influences, clearly seen in the character Seneca, who is human… okay. Great. Let’s make this MC fantasy Roman! That gives me my foundation of building blocks.

Second Step: Name

So the Oracle, Stellamore’s MC, receives visions from the stars. Knowing this, I was like, “Dope… let’s look at some mythology names, because Roman influence, and try to narrow those down to celestial/sky deity names.”

So I went to good ol’ Wikipedia’s list of names, and here were some of my initial impressions:

Aditi’s a pretty name, but that’s the name of a Hindu goddess, and MC’s fantasy Roman. Questionable decision. Out.

Urania’s the muse of astronomy, so it fits thematically, but there are unfortunate implications within the name. I can name her Ourania to get rid of the unfortunate “ur anus” implications, but that’s a bit of a mouthful? Hmm. No. Next.

Asteria is an old Greek goddess of the stars… nice… wait, I already have like 3 OCs with A names. Let’s diversify. Out.

Phoebe is a Greek Titaness of prophecy and related to Titaness Theia (!!), mother of Asteria. Good placeholder name, but a little too modern for my tastes. We’ll see.

Eventually I settled on Maris, which means “of the sea” and has nothing to do with the stars or astronomy &etc. I don’t know how I jumped to Maris from sky deity names, but it’s pretty and it’s Latin, so Maris is her name! 

Third Step: Faceclaim/Appearance

I always try to find faceclaims for my OCs as a springboard. Back when I was thinking “hhh Viking Gorl” as my baseline, I found pictures of María Valverde as Lucrezia Borgia and I was like “oh,,,, nice,,,” and looked up María outside of that role. María is still not a lock in for Maris, but she’s influenced her looks! Outside of that, I wanted to make some tweaks.

One thing I wanted for sure: black hair and brown eyes (romanticize brown eyes!! every one of my OCs has brown eyes except Ziah and I will regret not giving her brown eyes to my dying day)

Second thing I wanted: thanks to Ms. Valverde, I wanted Maris to have a big beautiful nose and oval face!

Third thing I have just as of right now decided about her appearance, suddenly and without warning: she’s gonna have moles on her face. no freckles, just moles. (bonus: Cipactli counts them and LOVES THEM ALL. My babe…… I’ll call u….)

Rags (@vide0-nasties) was kind enough to let me pick the height for her Oracle, Petra, so she picked Maris’s height, which is now 5′8″.

Fourth Step: Personality and/or Backstory

This is the least fleshed out because I decided to make Maris yesterday (11/12) after replaying Stellamore and trawling through the blog’s Cipactli tag for that sweet sweet lore about my newest love. But here were my initial goals for Maris:

Theia make an OC who’s not an ice queen (at the start) challenge

Theia make an OC who’s not depressed and/or anxious challenge

Theia make an OC who’s not an introvert challenge

Theia make an OC who’s not afraid of her emotions challenge

So that’s fine. Again, I need a springboard for Maris. I’ve decided since she’s an Oracle, and Oracles have connections to the stars for unknown but undoubtedly cool reasons, she will be an Air sign (completing the cycle of Ziah’s Earth, Ariala’s Fire, and Adelaide’s Water) – which limits me to Libra, Aquarius, and Gemini. Okay, well, let’s google some “basic traits” of all of these signs. I want Maris to have sun or star symbolism, because Ziah and Adelaide are my Moon Girls and Ariala’s my Sun Girl, so I can either balance it (making her a Sun symbol) or complete the triad (making her a Star symbol). 

Here was my thought process researching this:

“Libras can be emotionally cold” oof… no… that would fail my non-ice queen challenge, let’s move on to Aquarius (who can also be cold I have discovered through another search with Google Images)

Oh, Aquarius seems extroverted! I like these basic traits, and it makes sense since Mukondi is Maris’s friend and an extrovert. Both succeeds my “non ice queen” and “non introvert” challenges. Depression and/or anxiety… I’m coming for u bitches…

Oh hey what’s Cipactli’s sign

OH HE’S A LIBRA

OH AQUARIUS AND LIBRA ARE COMPATIBLE JACKPOT

I put a lot of stock in astrology even though I know I shouldn’t

Okay I’ve decided to give her Sun iconography to balance it, I can make Star ocs later. This means she will wear a lot of gold/summer tones.

Also hey Cipactli’s religion focuses a lot on the sun

U know what this means………….. religious iconography during sex…… symbolism……..

anyway Cipactli my love i’m so sorry idk if ur religious or not and if u are I apologize for the blasphemy

But if ur not….. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ms. Valverde’s smile in many pictures is kinda smirk-y, so maybe that’s something to incorporate about Maris: she doesn’t smile, she smirks. What kind of sense of humor would that give her? A wry one? A dry one (which isn’t the same thing necessarily)? What does this phrase – that she doesn’t smile, she smirks – imply about her character? Is she smug? Self-assured? Sarcastic? Detached from others? (NO! She can’t be detached because then I will fail my “don’t make an ice queen” challenge!)

Her personality will still need fleshing out – I will need more to work with than “oh she’s extroverted!” and “oh she’s friendly/sunny!” She will need flaws that are more complex. Since I chose the “bold” option when approaching Cipactli, maybe… HMM… okay, let’s make Maris bold. This makes her unafraid of conflict, but can also make her brash and/or arrogant and/or potentially hot-tempered! She can also be insufferably smug when she’s right, which is often, because of her Oracle abilities (idk!)

Another springboard I’ll use is looking up MBTI types, but those usually come after I’ve made my OC and just need more development.

As for her backstory, here were some things I decided upon, fiddling with my growing castle made out of wooden building blocks:

Okay she’s fantasy Roman… what if… she grew up on a vineyard & winery

And her dad was the vineyard’s owner

A mom? No. Single dad. Who knows where the Mom went. No, that could give her mom issues, let’s not do that. Mom died in childbirth or illness?

So now Maris is the daughter of a vineyard owner, which means she would probably know a fair amount about wine, which means she has excellent (and/or: snobby) taste in wine.

She also loves nature because she grew up in it, which means she would LOVE Huatzintepec. Oh hey, Cipactli’s room is full of plants, another reason for Maris (and me) to love him

I’ve just decided she has an older brother

No, younger

No, she has two brothers, one older and one younger. She’s the middle child. This means Mom died in childbirth to the younger brother and made Dad a Single Roman Dad.

Dad funded her education because if she was educated she could a) help her brothers operate the winery/vineyard after his death; b) make a career in politics and further the family name (haven’t decided a surname yet, let’s google Roman surnames, ooh here’s a list of ancient Roman surnames on Wikipedia – OKAY, I have it, Maris Viridius of the Gens Viridia); c) marry a well-off fantasy Roman businessman??

Instead Maris became a diplomat, which is how she met Mukondi, and since they’re both friendly extroverts they became fast friends

Since she’s a diplomat and educated she probably speaks a bunch of languages,,, oh look here’s a list of how many languages the cast speaks [clicks tongue] noice,,, okay so she would speak at least 3 (three) languages: Latin, Common, Greek, and know some basic Nahuatl

How does her backstory influence her personality, because pasts always have a vast impact on characters’ (and our own) personalities? Well, maybe she’s a little bit elitist because of her upper class upbringing. Maybe her work as a diplomat has allowed her to visit every one of the human kingdoms, and has made her down to earth. Maybe she was so cooped up in her studies that she became sheltered, or a bookworm, or both – which would give her another point of commonality with Cipactli.

All of these are reasonable possibilities, and all of these are little building blocks I can assemble together to shape my OC and develop her further!

So now I have Maris Viridius, of Gens Viridia, who:

has black hair, black eyes, lots of moles, a big beautiful nose and an oval face (thus, rounded features)

is an Aquarius

is unafraid to be bold, even if it comes across as arrogance; is unafraid to challenge authority; is also aware, as a diplomat, when to hold her tongue or when to be polite (her job might also make her a good liar? things to ponder for the future!) 

is an optimist and an extrovert; thrives off of meeting new people and making new friends; has a good, albeit sarcastic, sense of humor

is gonna cash in Cipactli’s v-card, but tenderly, because soft otps are my jam

I have to do more development with Maris, but here is her skeleton, built out of blocks! I might just write some stuff for her and Cipactli in the future because I have seen two (2) Stellamore fics, one on Tumblr and one on Ao3, which is a tragedy.

Anyway, I know I went overboard, but I hope this helps and gives insight into my process as to how I write my OCs! :)

[pokefanbri]

1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷��♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful

[brothalynchhung]

2018 overview

goddddd im so late lol i didnt forget about this blog I'm just active on my other account also I'm never uhhhh home and I'm so busy now god i feel like I'm losing myself and my youth hood from not updating here fml life got me fucked up

ANYWAYS 2018 was fucking crazy what the hell how did so much shit happen in one year

in the 2017 overview i talked about regretting and trying to make up time and ohhhh bitch.... looool

anyways lets start:

2018 immediately started with some bullshit

literally started 2018 turning up LMFAOOO

so it was a good start 

spent new years w old friends some shit ill never do again

hotel room bullshit, eating out, running around outside, late drives listening to early 2000s music

OMG the hotel jesus i remember now i started 2018 on that trash ass app

talking to weirdos

being liked by over 2000 people?

wow what fucking redemption from middle school and high school 

but like... i learned all men are fucking losers LMFAOO

had two weird ass “dates” aka not really since i dipped those things quick aFFF lmao

fuck my old dumb friends for encouraging me to do that shit lol

was funny tho so who cares

this time (january) last year i was

broke

depressed about gl, no job, hating school

i was sooo depressed like 2018 until june i was literally just depressed and borderline suicidal cuz not having a job and being broke as shit was stressing me out so much

i tried so hard to get a job anywhere but for some reason it wasn't working???

i met(?????) that bitch HB LMAFOOOOO

godddd that fucking 5 hours 3 am call

all that weird obsessing and calls we used to have LMFAO he was such a fucking hoe why did i even waste my time

AND I STILL HAVENT MET HIM IRL YET LMFAOFPJEWIOGHERUGHESU EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE TIME I SAW HIM AT CU AND EUIRHGEUISHRH INSANE

but yeah fuck him for calling me too thick but THANK YOU GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH

highly he was one the best things to happen to me in 2018?

he called me thick i got cheesed and 

I LOST 15+ POUNDS IN 2018 

honestly after years of saying ill lost weight ill lose weight I FINALLY FUCKING DID

god 2018 was honestly year of the grind

gym every single day

rip school gym LMFAOOO i lost all my weight there god bless

oh yeah i became vegetarian!! and now I'm vegan LMFAO plot twist?

JESUS REMEMBER WHEN HB SAID MY VOICE TURNED HIM ON I CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGERYISEGHUIEHEIOS LMFAOOOO FUCK HIM THANKS FOR INSPIRING ME TO LOSE WEIGHT AND BE SEXY SO I CAN STUNT ON ALL U UGLY ASS MEN

anyways he weirdly kept on trying to hit me up even after he called me too thick infront of the boys (to which they still defended me shout out boys) fucking loser... i shut him down lol

ntcntcjkjkntcjkntcjkjk lol

brockhaamptoonn

threw up from that night i got too drunk LMFAO what an experience never again

i turned up too much in 2018 -_____- i don't even like it wtf

was a lot of fun tho like thats what i wanted right? reclaim my time i lost in hs/early uni because those hoes we don't speak of

i really didnt do shit other than obsess over being broke depressed and missing gl in the beginning of 2018 sooo.. lets just... fast forward? god what a weird ass year

and going to the gym everyday

counting calories

i need to start doing that shit again cuz I'm actually terrified i might be 120 again after fucking dubai

my old ass friends who i basically used to make up for my regret and reclaim my youth from high school was basically all of the beginning of 2018 . yes thanks for the memories thanks for helping relive my past that i lost . thanks. ur appreciated it was fun

but fuck y'all cuz y'all never had anything in common with me and y'all r embarrassing and boring . i was the exciting and better one 

also fuck y'all for letting me down . after y'all fucked off i got successful 

when i obsessed over that ugly weird guy in my phi classes and then i saw him up close and he was UGHLYLYYK GHU AND WEIRD AF 

and he was on my tip crazy with his weird low key fetishing internally racist bullshit LMFAOOO

i think the fuck not

he's still in one of my classes now i gotta spend the whole semester avoiding him IFNWFUWifhqfuwighau

god

discovered my love for white rabbit

finally finished that lonely ass semester

went straight into summer school w/zainb

love her ass lol

wait was 2018 the year i ran into that weird at the mall who tried to kiss me withing 10 minutes of meeting me at bubble tea? LMFAOOO WHAT A FREAK GOD 

my fucking life fam istg

watching hxh ugh best time ever

got a job!!! 

GOT ANOTHER JOB!!!

TWO AT ONCE and one of them was so crazy good for my career 

to the point where I'm STILL in contact with them

seriously getting a job changed the year for me so much

got out of my bad depression starting making money

straight grind

work gym 

BOUGHT EVERYTHING I WANTED.

LITERALLY EVERYTHING

ALESIS . STUDIO SET UP . LOEWE BAG. AND MORE EVERYTHING I WANTED AND I LOST WEIGHT

like i accomplished everything????

its like the beginning of the 2018 year was me gearing up and mentally readying myself for when i fiINALLY GOT A JOB and then i accomplished everything i wanted

yo i was working 3 jobs and that catfish hip hop class 

LFMAOOOOO THAT HIP HOP COURSE OMGG LMFAOEJGUIE ICONIC

i killed that shit lmao😂

met that weird ugly kid that was talking all this bullshit about us being the same and him thinking he had a chance w me LMFAOOO okay sure there

all cuz of fucking r and her high school esque bullshit

honestly fuck her LMFAOO i don't wish her anything just fuck off after all the bullshit since middle school you put me thru 

her and her ugly ass bf i had to deal with god I'm so happy she's out of my life

used you to make up from lost time 😂 i don't need u anymore Im at peace with myself BYE 

i don't even feel sentimental when i was run or i need u like i finished the book and i closed that shit and i feel better like i got so much closure this year

sister got married suwhoooo 

weird encounter w dal? tf? girl bye you've been dead to me since 2012 LMFAOO

so much people i really don't give a fuck about

honestly in 2018 i just lost all my fucks and only focused on me 

it gonna stay like that

made so much new friends i cant even name them all 

love all my work friends club GANG

chilling w hec and crew gang gang

oh yeah that taurus bitch i got confused feelings over and wasted my time 

cut his annoying ugly weird ass off lol but whatever lost time reclaimed it was very 2011-13 esque

got rid of everything from my sunken period thank god

got rid of so much shit

the closure/transformation was real

anyways uhhh so yeah so then fall semester started just continued working and gaming 

 lowest i got was 113 but idk wat i am now :( I'm so scared i really don't want to be over 115 but I'm like always bloated so I can never check I'm so sad rn

cut off annoying friends fuck them i have new better ones and i love myself

jjkjkjkjknctncjtkcktn lol 

good music good book watched so much movies

I SAW BROCKHAMPTON JCOLE THE GORRILAZ THE INTERNET DELASOUL AND BLOOD ORANGE LIVE!!! BITCH WAT THE FUCK ALL IN ONE YEAR

toronto trip!! mil trip!!! all on my own fucking amazing

end of 2018 was so good omg 

ran into 2% jfc

drunk called 2% lMFAOOO god just said sorry for nothing lmao i just want gl I'm clinging on to anything

OH YEAH that ugly broke bitch who wasted my time and objectified me yeah fuck him 

if he didnt do that disrespectful ass shit i wouldn't have called 2% ugh god

never using that trash app ever again 

ended 2018 in dubai 

YSL LOEWE ALL ON ME???? YES BITCH 

didnt feel like a failure in dubai stunt on everyone

ended this year amazing

really looking forward to 2019

looking forward to losing weight -____________- still

looking forward to money

accomplishing goals

getting closer to gl

FINISHING FUCKING SCHOOL FINALLY 

just happiness.. 

I'm happy. 2019 I'm ready lets fucking go. gl lets go . I'm on my way

went from broke hopeless no job depressed to thriving beautiful UP TO 4 JOBS everyone can fuck off