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tadpolesonalgae · 15 days

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aight, we back and we're goin in tabbatha, brace urself.

(i reread the latest chapters because a full absorption was required)

as someone who adores psychology and analyzing literature as well as having dealt with depression, you really hit the nail on the head with chapters 15 and 16.

it was super healing to read readers experience through the beginning of the chapter, with the sisters comforting each other in a very vulnerable way and then taking that comfort away. i ADORE you as an writer for making that choice, even if it sucks in the moment. i think it really shows how much youve grown as an author and i would so sososososo happily read a published novel by you. your humility regarding angst drives me a lil insane with how visceral of emotions you put your readers through tho 😂

you show SO much expertise imo with how you eased us into chapter 16 and the overall tone by beginning with feyre and rhys. by showing us how devastated she was over this and rhys' reaction being just to care for his mate, not truly caring about readers own wellbeing.

moving into readers pov and showing us just HOW bad her depression has gotten since the accident with azriel. cassian sitting outside of her door, and idk about anyone else but he came off as a little abrasive when he addressed reader? but i digress, it took literal days for her sisters to be able to get through to her and to get reader to open up to them about 💫why💫. and then the sisters curling up in bed how they used to and just holding tight, because like one of the other anons mentioned, that the born fae will NEVER truly understand the archeron sisters. and then you nail that point in AGAIN by having rhys interact alone with reader. her terror and her spiralling thoughts, and his disregard for how SHE truly is? his hasty departure where you can feel him disregard her as a loose cannon that he now has to handle the fallout of and Nesta's rescue. because she of all people know how he is with anyone but those he deems important in the moment :(

(the paragraph detailing what reader would have said to each sister respectively made me BAWL, like end of kingdom of ash kinda bawl, so massive respect for that alone.)

the ending with mor has got to be my favorite representation of her post ACOSF, just because ive always believed sjm wanted the focus of this series to be how massively flawed her characters are (and purposely so). you showed the courtier, the commander, AND the ruler of the hewn city very well in her reaction to readers actions and her newly uncovered involvements with eris. because ultimately mor has every reason to be upset with reader regarding eris, but she took her words too far because of her love for the IC. which is a massive flaw all of them possess, that you show BEAUTIFULLY throughout the series.

i also really love the decisions youve made with creating reader's character in general. it makes sense that she would be pushed to the side for so long, its been years that weve been waiting for nesta and elain to heal and so imagining a world where there are four sisters? Perfection, truly. the angst is 🥰🥰🥰

as a chronic lurker on tumblr, ao3, and wattpad respectively for the past decade. You are one of the few writers ive found that makes me want to reread ACOTAR after finding it a lil disappointing at times compared to sjm's other series (no hate, im just a tog and cc ride or die 😂) so when i felt as emotional and inspired as i did, it only makes sense that you hear just how amazing of a writer you are💖 I hope that this brings you some joy while plotting how to torture your readers next.

Respectfully foaming at the mouth waiting for the next chapter.

-🤠

‘as someone who adores psychology and analyzing literature as well as having dealt with depression, you really hit the nail on the head with chapters 15 and 16.’

Okay, I don’t want to get super personal and kind of blabber and waffle all over the place since we’re literally just starting, but hearing people say that they can relate to reader—whether through her anxiety, how introverted she is, or through the moments when she spirals—it kind of bittersweet? As a writer, I feel rewarded that you’re experiencing a connection of some sort with reader, but at the same time it’s hard knowing that those experiences are real emotions for so many people?

‘it was super healing to read readers experience through the beginning of the chapter, with the sisters comforting each other in a very vulnerable way and then taking that comfort away. i ADORE you as an writer for making that choice, even if it sucks in the moment.’

This is so interesting because I know I was quite stressed about uploading chapter 16 since I was worried the calm at the beginning would be too much of a 180° after the intensity of chapter 15? I thought it might be too slow-paced and that perhaps I should have tried to keep that tension going, but at the same time chapter 15 was written intended to be either the first or second highest tension point?

I’m flattered though that you think it was a good choice to have those sweet moments at the beginning and then to end on the angst? Personally I think that’s just a habit now to keep people engaged? 😅

‘i think it really shows how much youve grown as an author and i would so sososososo happily read a published novel by you.’

Is this payback for the angst of cbmthy? Are you trying to make me cry in return? I think it would be fun to write a book but at the same time very draining? I suppose I don’t have to write it now 😅 maybe if I make it to fifty I can sit down and give writing a go, but I’m not sure how realistic it is for me to consider writing a book at the moment :/

Still, thank you so much for such a high compliment—it kind of blows my mind that you’d be interested in an actual physical book 🧡💛

‘your humility regarding angst drives me a lil insane with how visceral of emotions you put your readers through tho 😂’

I genuinely think it might be a case of some of the stuff that pops up in cbmthy/other fics happens to hit specific emotional soft spots? I still don’t think of cbmthy as being particularly sad—it has angsty parts definitely—but to be fair I know the full story whereas you’re still coming out of one of the lowest parts? I’m sure that makes a difference :)

‘you show SO much expertise imo with how you eased us into chapter 16 and the overall tone by beginning with feyre and rhys. by showing us how devastated she was over this and rhys' reaction being just to care for his mate, not truly caring about readers own wellbeing.’

Oh my gosh please I feel like you’re assigning me way too much credit 😭

Honestly it just felt like it made sense to start with Rhys and Feyre since we haven’t really seen them at all it would be a good way to possibly catch some people off guard!! I also just couldn’t figure out how to start it from reader’s perspective since it felt too ‘noisy’(?)—a lot of the choices are heavily influenced by whether or not I feel I can make a scene work, so if I can’t I have to switch it to a different one!! I wouldn’t say it’s anything near expertise 😭 (but I appreciate it nonetheless)

‘cassian sitting outside of her door, and idk about anyone else but he came off as a little abrasive when he addressed reader?’

I think that’s a mix between me genuinely being a little unsure how to write his character and the circumstances? Cassian knows that reader tried to kill herself, that Nesta has had thoughts like those, and that Nesta cares for reader—that plus it being around the middle of the night I guess it was kind of a shift between him being unsure how to approach her since she might still be spiralling, and not wanting to overwhelm her which is why the talking was so minimal? He’s torn between worrying for Azriel who’s his brother and also reader who’s his mate’s younger sister—I think he might have it the most difficult besides reader if I’m honest in terms of conflicting feelings? It was supposed to be a little weird though, since reader doesn’t know what going on, and isn’t particularly familiar with Cassian? Comparatively with her sisters or Bas, I mean :)

‘and then the sisters curling up in bed how they used to and just holding tight’

This was such an enjoyable scene to write and probably one of my favourites so far 🧡💛 I hope it was as pleasant to read as it was to write

‘by having rhys interact alone with reader. her terror and her spiralling thoughts, and his disregard for how SHE truly is?’

I’m glad that this kind of showed? I don’t want Rhys to appear totally insensitive to reader because I think that would be too ooc for him, but he cares for her because she’s his mate’s sister, not because of her. And he still has to think as High Lord, and even putting Mor’s history with Eris aside, Eris’s a dangerous opponent because of how manipulative he can be, and that paired with reader’s more naive side that’s searching for affection from someone isn’t a promising combination?

Even then though, he’s still lost his own sister, so I feel that impedes his ability to be entirely impartial to reader’s situation, hence the mention at the end of the conversation where he tells reader to rest and that she gave them all a scare.

But yeah, he’s a little cold I suppose to her

‘(the paragraph detailing what reader would have said to each sister respectively made me BAWL, like end of kingdom of ash kinda bawl, so massive respect for that alone.)’

I’m incredibly sorry 😔 KoA level of tears shed? 🫢 I feel awful, I’m so sorry 😭🧡💛 (I did enjoy writing that paragraph and the one after it, so I guess it kind of succeeded in its assigned task 😬😭)

‘because ultimately mor has every reason to be upset with reader regarding eris, but she took her words too far because of her love for the IC.’

This is such a nice take that I hadn’t thought of in these specific terms?

I think the born-fae ones of the IC will naturally have a different kind of bond than the sisters do just due to history and experience, but I hadn’t really considered Mor’s reaction to be one that might be fuelled by love for her family because the scene was written from reader’s perspective?

On a slight side note, I find it so enjoyable to see this different take on Mor’s actions since so far I think most people have been somewhat agitated with Mor’s behaviour (and I kind of agree it wasn’t the best way to go about it) so it’s interesting that you’re speculating over her reasons and actually considering her position? 🧡💛

‘the angst is 🥰🥰🥰’

Thank you very much 🧡💛

A year ago I probably would have been concerned to hear something like this, but I guess with the majority of cbmthy supposing to be angsty, it’s good to know it’s having the desired effect? 🫣🧡💛

‘(no hate, im just a tog and cc ride or die 😂)’

We could have an entire conversation about this because I adore Throne of Glass but have struggled so much with Crescent City (I think the modern setting really throws me off?)

‘so when i felt as emotional and inspired as i did, it only makes sense that you hear just how amazing of a writer you are💖 I hope that this brings you some joy while plotting how to torture your readers next.’

Being completely transparent with you I read through your ask multiple times and took a pause in between each one because I kept getting so overwhelmed (in a good way)

I’m so flattered that you wanted to write in this level of detail about the events of ch. 16 of your own accord??? It blows my mind and I want to say just how much I sincerely appreciate you coming into my asks to chat about this story that was by no means planned or supposed to happen but I’m so glad it did 🫂🧡💛

#🤠 anon <3 #🤠#cbmthy #🧡💛

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