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ren-is-being-silenced · 2 years

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Ren’s Taglist Masterlist

This Is Being Changed Currently <3

Please feel free to blacklist or follow any tags in this list. These are my commonly used tags from the last year or so on my main. If you’d like me to start using tags for certain things please let me know via ask or dm!

I won’t be posting every tag as there are a lot of individual NHLers (and their respective teams) i’ve posted about (and tagged) due to suspensions, fines and the like, however I will be posting players who have custom tags along with their normal tag.

I will not be posting all of my “_____ opinion piece” tags separately as there is/or will be one for every team as needed, instead they will be posted as “opinion piece: list of team name/nicknames used”.

Ask games have their own tags but also an overarching one, as such they won’t all be listed either.

Items in lists are relevant to each other but are distinct as shown by commas.

These Are In No Particular Order

”(insert team name here) opinion piece” : habs , nhl draft , isles , yotes , caps , bruins , kraken , avs , tampa , pens

pens lb

pittsburgh penguins

pens stats

penguins tape

penguins goal

rens gdrive stuff

sidney crosby , making fun of sidney crosby hours? , elite goaltender sidney crosby

pens hockey injuries

nhl

my favorite fuckboi , zach aston reese , sweatypits__

back on the pk

infographic

yotes lb

arizona coyotes

starting lineup

nhl dops

2021 offseason

jared mccann , let the canner simping begin lol

1st intermission , 2nd intermission , 3rd intermission , 4th intermission , ect.

judgmental bird noises

bryan rust , rusty is hot leave me alone

i want change

tom wilson , tom wilson discourse

to the power play!

pens lb crew

penguins roundup

generic hockey thought

sad lad hours

teddy blueger , Teodors Bļugers

nhl dops stuff 2021 22

nhl rulebook 2021 22

like pens jerseys make men out of tissue paper sometimes

jason zucker , zuckerpunched

conor sheary , conor shear the hockey love of my life

hockey injuries

nathan mackinnon , yunggnate29

nhl covid 19 protocol

nhl 2021 rulebook

bad call ref

yotes tape

yotes goals

hockey

round up tapes

philadelphia flyers , im such a terrible pens fan for these boys

nhl draft (insert year here)

nhl awards (insert year here)

NHL Trade Deadline (insert year here)

hockeyblr

tristan jarry , elite goaltender tristan jarry

NHL 2013 CBA and 2020 MOU

wb/s penguins

nhl misc goals

hockey boy livestream

pens roster

leon draisaitl , german wonder bread

home opener 2021 22

pens cleanout day

kappy/tans aka the new bromance

4 on 4 hockey

nhl hockey injuries

hockeyblr rpf discourse

hockeyblr directory

penguins helm

mic’d up

bonus hockey

bonus bonus hockey

hockey smooches

1d to hockey pipeline

yotes hockey injuries

love your tendys tenderly!!

5 on 3 hockey

nhl suspension

post game interview

starting goaltender

I want change

NHL News

NHLPA

the bois are fighting

hockey is for everyone

nhl player safety

1st NHL goal

nhl free agency 2021

nhl discourse

Two Headed Monster

nhl related

pens dad duty updates

nhl cheatsheets

nwsl , national womens soccer league

rookie lap

goalie interference

hockey soulmates , and i dub thee hockey husbands

coyotes roundup

hockey birthdays!

🍆 trick , 🎩 trick

‘introducing me’ by ren

chit chat is right

rea answers , thanks for rhe ask lovely!

ren rants

anon ask

ask game

ren is friend shaped

nhl ask game!

look its me!

fuck you guys ill be horny on main if i want

rea is a gamer , kanarenee on ps4 , kanarenee on twitch.tv

vic and rens 2am talks

rens tinfoil hat

rens pets!

queer as fuck , queer as in fuck you

massive blog changes?? , icon change again?

ren watches tennis

rens 3am hot takes

tag games

reas questionable taste in fashion and men

ren has no impulse control

ren rants no reblogs

rens blog got deleted

ren maybe rea on twitter

rea’s taglist masterlist

ren gets political

my emotional support mutuals

ren is a petty bitch

delete later maybe?

genuinely angry rea

rea draws

ren jokes as a coping mechanism , for my own records , my edit , my memes

ren_maybe_rea on twitter

theatre nerd stuff

not quite theatre

tape recording

the athletic , athletic article requests

for reference

'pinned’ post

kanarene 4328 9852 3365 , < thats my pokemon go username and trainer code

critrole watching

tiktok

tagging this for filtering purposes:

pic crew

my spotify

lgbtqia+

palaeontology

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

players tribune

queer history

carl the iggy , the better aston reese , carl aston reese

shout out to @firefly-graphics for the page breaks/dividers

#'pinned' post #rens tags masterlist

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ramimami-blog · 5 years

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Radical Emotions

Josh and Sam have gotten close since the disappearance of Hannah and Beth, and that makes things complicated for the reader, who has crushed on Josh for as long as she can remember.

A/n: Requested by @fahrenheit39! This is gonna be a miniseries because I like how this turned out. Sorry it took so long!

Warnings: strong emotions, conclusion jumping, and angst. No smut, sorry! This is really sappy. Like... you won’t find a tree as sappy as this fic.

For so long, all I wanted was to see Josh smile. All I wanted was to see him become playful again. I found myself longing for the days when he would run up behind me and scare the crap out of me, with that smirk on his face and that laugh looming in his throat.

Time after time, I wanted to forget what happened that night. I wanted to forget splashing water on his face to wake him up from his drunken stupor only to tell him we had to find Hannah and Beth. The look of desperation on his face when he realized the severity of the situation... it still haunts me. I wish I could unsee it.

But now, someone else is making him smile right in front of me. My best friend. Sam.

I noticed it sooner rather than later, but I almost wish I hadn’t noticed it at all. Josh started hanging out with her, talking to her more. I would often text Sam and ask to hang out to receive that text, that damn text that made me want to scream. ‘I can’t, Josh needs some support.’

Support.

What was that? Support... it had to mean something else. It had to mean more than Sam talking him through what happened, keeping the demons of his mind away, telling him it would be alright. It had to be more. When Josh and Sam were together, it often felt like I was third wheeling, like I was floating around in their orbit, Josh was clearly so deeply into Sam that our friendship didn’t matter anymore.

Was it something I had done? The prank on Hannah, I hadn’t been involved. I had walked away, told everyone how childish it was. Because it was, and look at what it had caused. The rift in our once content circle of friends had become massive.

Josh was a wreck. And it killed me to see it, to see him like that. Even with his meds, he was sad. That grin had less power, his jokes weren’t as funny but I laughed anyway because he was Josh, and Josh was perfect to me.

Even if he had the stability of a house on a pin needle, he was still Josh and he still made my heart flutter. His eyes still made goosebumps over my skin, his voice made my hair stand up on edge.

His scent was intoxicating too. Josh smelled like lavender, patchouli, hemp, and musky cologne. Those scents had become my favorite a long time ago, because of him. I found myself diffusing lavender essential oil in my bedroom, burning patchouli sticks, and using hemp-based shampoo just to bask in a taste of what it would be like if he held me.

I soon realized why he smelled of lavender and patchouli after doing just a minute of research... anxiety, grounding. Those two scents were fantastic for keeping yourself grounded in reality when delusions or anxiety started to boil over. Josh had smelled like this for a long time, he had anxiety for a while. And it made me sad to realize it.

It was hard to pull myself out of bed. For the first time in years, I turned off my diffuser and stopped the flow of lavender into my senses. It would probably take years to get the scents out of my room, for so long I had kept those smells close to my mind, to my very soul. For so long I drowned myself in lavender patchouli and hemp, how could I get my soul to unlatch from them?

I almost felt sick to my stomach thinking about it. It physically pained me to even fathom losing things that kept me happy. Losing the closeness Josh and I had, had hurt too. But maybe it was time to let go.

When my phone vibrated, it almost startled me, and I was thankful I was already on the toilet. It was a text from Sam. I didn’t even have to read it for my heart to drop to my stomach. Did I want to read it? These days I expected it to be the big announcement... something about her and Josh being official.

Without looking, I held my thumb down on our conversation and deleted it, breathing a sigh of relief into my bathroom mirror... until the group chat buzzed. Sam.

That had to be it. It had to be the big reveal. I could see it all in my head, how everyone would be happy Josh was coming back to reality, how everyone would congratulate them and anger would boil in me. I didn’t want that yet. Not yet.

I swallowed hard, blindly thumbing through my phone as I left the group chat, and held the power button on my phone, turning it off... not today. I wasn’t ready for it, I was not ready to watch Josh officially be in love with my best friend.

Avoiding my phone? That was the easiest part of the day. But I couldn’t avoid my mind, that had no applicable power button. There was no delete function on the emotions I had for the flannel-wearing son of a millionaire.

How I wished there were. I wished it was that simple, easy to pluck him from my brain altogether and go on with my life.

Personal care... that would be the key to surviving that day. I took another deep breath, exhaling again and leaving the bathroom, shutting the door to my bedroom on the way to the living room. I had to avoid my lavender haven, my patchouli paradise like it was the plague if I wanted to keep my emotions calm.

Mentally I made a plan to try new essential oils and replace the filter in the diffuser, and maybe new incense. Perhaps... peppermint? My knowledge of essential oil and incense was very limited aside from... well, the scents Josh gave off.

I barely knew what to do with myself. I turned the TV on and scrolled through my DVR, and settled on reruns of (tv show), even though it made my heart drop. The last time I had watched this show had been with Sam the night before the trip to the lodge, before everything changed.

Ignoring the pain in my stomach, I started the show at the beginning of the first season, tossed a blanket over my legs and laid down on the couch.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Ring! Bang! Ring! Ring!

I jumped hard, startled by the sounds coming from my front door. It was dark now, at some point I had fallen asleep... I didn’t remember which episode I had fallen asleep on, but now my DVR was off, the blue light of the screen saver mocking me in the darkness of the living room as someone banged on my front door and furiously rang my door bell.

Swallowing hard, I stood up, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders as I approached the door... I could see him through the window, the imprint of flannel and short brown hair.

Josh.

My eyes closed, as if they were pained by the fact he was there, even though I was confused beyond reason. I had no idea why Josh was on my doorstep. But I couldn’t stand there in the dark and stare at his distorted frame in the window anymore... I had to talk to him, he was right there.

“I’m coming!”

Pulling the door open, Josh walked in, making me step back a bit as he turned my hallway light on. His eyes were filled to the brim with worry, scanning me up and down before walking past me and looking into my living room.

“What happened? You yote out of the group chat, and no one heard from you for a solid seven hours...”

I tilted my head, pinching the brim of my nose. “Please stop using ‘yeet’ in the past sense, Josh...”

But it was clear to me that he wasn’t joking, Josh was purely serious as he turned around, his hands moving to rub down his face in frustration.

“You... you can’t do that. You can’t just disappear and not tell me why,” he scolded, and for some reason it hurt more than I anticipated. “So spill it. What the fuck?”

I groaned loudly, running my hand through my (y/h/c) hair and trying not to look at him. I could get lost in those eyes, the scent of lavender could draw me back in if I wasn’t careful... I had to avoid him.

“Josh my dad’s gonna flip if he comes home and I have a boy over...”

“Fuck your dad, (y/n)! I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s happening!”

Shivers ran down my spine in waves, I hadn’t liked hearing Josh yell, it always made me nervous, always told me how serious his issues were but this time... they were my issues he was screaming about, my problems, my inability to handle Josh Washington being in love with my best friend. I could feel the hot tears peaking in my eyes, threatening to spill out and boil over.

What was I supposed to say? Seconds of silence continued to pass between us, my eyes dropping to the floor. It simply hurt to look at him, to be so close to him.

Josh began closing the gap between us before I could try to move away, grabbing my face and forcing me to look up at him. I hadn’t seen him so distraught in almost a year, hadn’t seen him so desperate for answers since that fateful night everything changed... I had to tell him. He deserved to know.

My hands moved upward, grabbing his wrists and yanking his hands off of me, making his jaw drop softly, a look of shock on his face. I decided not to let him wonder why I had done that, and immediately spoke.

“I can’t handle the anxiety of wondering when you and Sam are gonna come out with it! I figured today was the day, and I shut myself off from all of you.”

His eyes narrowed. “Come out with what?”

Another groan passed from my lips, was he serious?! Josh had a tendency to be dense but this was more than I was expecting from even him.

“I’ve seen you two. She’s blown me off so much just to be with you. I’m not stupid and I’m not ready for it, I’m just not!”

Confusion washed over his face, he seemed to be putting together what I said in his mind, mulling it over, and trying to figure out what to say, perhaps how to let me down easy.

“Why couldn’t you handle Sam and I being together, (y/n)?”‘

I swallowed hard again, and the tears finally spilled from my eyes, hot and heavy, streaming down my face. I sniffled hard and could feel my breathing becoming jagged, the blanket falling from my shoulders as I tossed my hands up in defeat.

I had to tell him. I had to say it so we could move past it.

“Josh... That night... at the lodge, the night Hannah and Beth disappeared...” Could I do it? Could I finish my sentence, could I even say it?... I had to, no going back. “Beth was helping me...”

“Helping you with what, (y/n)? Just... just come out with it already!”

Josh looked like he was at his wits end with the whole situation, I couldn’t keep him in the dark for a moment longer about how I felt.

“She was helping me figure out how to tell you I loved you! Three shots in and I chickened out...”

I watched his face, watched it soften a bit, almost in shock, my most intimate secret on the table to the person it pertained to. Every second felt like literal hours, waiting for him to response, watching as he looked away from me and turned his head to the side, staring at the floor as if he was shocked.

“Dammit, (y/n)...” Josh cursed my name, sending chills down my spine. “I’m not, I’m not dating Sam, I’m not taking her to the bone zone, I’m not... courting her, whatever you’re thinking we’re doing that’s not it. I’m into someone else.”

I felt my heart drop to my knees, anxiety releasing itself all over my body, my chest swelling with heart palpitations. What was I supposed to say to that? How was I supposed to handle it? At least... it wasn’t Sam. That fact did make me breathe a sigh of relief.

“Well whoever she is... she’s--”

“You. She’s you.”

#josh washington #josh washington x reader #until dawn imagine #josh washington imagine #rami malek #rami malek x reader #rami malek imagine

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