#That’s what hat Cill said

[look-at-the-soul]

HIII ANGEL <3 can I request 'Hometown Glory' for the Adele music thing? I love that song so much overall so no specific lyric or anything for reference 🙈

Hello my darling! How have you been? 🥰 thank you so much for sending in this song as request!! As I started playing it over and over, I was playing different scenarios of how to make Tommy go back to his hometown. ✨

⚠️ There’s a bit angst but comfort after it

Lyrics and flashback in italics 😊 I hope you guys like this! Would love to hear your thoughts about it 💕

Song: Hometown Glory by Adele

Hometown Glory

Tommy sighed loudly as they entered the Birmingham territory, he got tense immediately, his energy changed and the atmosphere as well.

Charlie was sleeping in the back of the car, he saw his son through the rear-view mirror.

I've been walking in the same way as I did

Missing out the cracks in the pavement

It had been a while since he came back, over the years he changed, both mentally and physically. Unlike him, everything in Birmingham was the same, but worse; the smoke irritated his eyes, he found more factories than he could remember, people on the streets, smoke clouding around.

He took a turn and found the old church where his mother would take them every Sunday, he hadn’t stepped in one in ages. In the corner he found the old building where he and his brothers used to go to school when they were little, it was now abandoned and falling into pieces, he saw broken windows and the door was replaced by blocks.

"Is there anything I can do for you dear?

Is there anyone I could call?"

"No and thank you, please Madam

I ain't lost, just wandering"

No matter how hard these people worked, they’d never be able to get out of Small Heath, they could only hope to repeat the same story of their parents. They were still digging, but instead of getting out of the hole, they were moving deeper and deeper.

Tommy looked to the side, finding the pub where his Dad used to send him and Ada to get a bucket of beer for him, he even remembered the one time when he and his sister decided to bet who could run faster and the spilled almost half of the bucket, when they got home his father got pissed for the missing booze and started raising his voice, then Tommy saw him taking of his belt. It was only natural to ask Ada to run and hide while he took the beating for her.

As the memories were too vivid for his own liking, Tommy had to shake his head to them brush away.

Somehow his heart felt at ease with the familiarity as he stopped his vehicle outside the Watery Lane house, the place held so many good moments.

'Round my hometown

Memories are fresh

Taking Charlie’s sleepy body into his arms, Tommy had to hold his breath as he looked in the small space between two houses in the other side of the street.

Flashback

“Tommy!” Y/N squealed as his hands pulled her body towards his. “Someone might see us!”

Y/N tried to push him away, but his hands were resting firmly on her waist.

He laughed and the sound echoed in the small corridor while her palms attempted to stop him, but there was no use because he had other intentions.

Leaning towards her face, Tommy captured her lips in a soft kiss.

Y/N gave in, not only to his kiss but her hands gave up and instead of trying to push him away, she moved them to the back of Tommy’s head.

Taking a few blind steps, and Tommy had her pressed between the wall and his body.

“Let them see.” He replied after pulling apart to have some air.

He always waited for her there, he knew the exact time where she would go out to buy some bread for dinner and they’d sneak around before it was time to walk her home.

End of flashback.

'Round my hometown

Ooh the people I've met

Are the wonders of my world

Tommy felt the heartache was unbearable, but as Charlie stirred in his arms, he hurried to open the door to the house where he was once happy.

Shifting his son’s weight to one arm, he carried his kid upstairs, into his old bedroom, the same bed where he and Y/N would lie together to watch the stars and the moon. Memories of the two of them making love right there, burning his skin.

Tucking Charlie in, he stared at his son for a few seconds, before turning around to walk out of his room.

“Mama?” Charlie called half sleep.

Charlie’s voice made him stop on his tracks abruptly. His son had only started calling Y/N Mama.

“She will be back very soon, sleep well my boy.” Tommy lied and his eyes filled with tears.

Charlie had already lost Grace, his Mum. He couldn’t let him lose Y/N too, she was now his Mama, the woman who tucked him in and read him bedtime stories, the one who kissed him better.

Exhausted, Tommy flopped on the couch, he was quiet but his mind was already working at speed to find a way to get Y/N back.

His enemies finally found a way to make him surrender, by taking Y/N he no longer cared about any business, deal or wealth. For the very first time he was powerless, he wasn’t ahead of everyone else like he used to, he didn’t see that coming.

I like it in the city when the air is so thick and opaque

Because one morning she was kissing him say goodbye by the door, talking about going out for lunch together since she would be in the city visiting the orphanage and the next thing he knew is that she never showed up to have lunch, she was barely ten minutes late and Tommy knew something was wrong, she was never late.

As if she knew someone would take her, she left Charlie at home that day since he was sleeping. He wouldn’t be able to keep going if they took Charlie too.

Staring into the flames he made a silent promise; he wouldn’t stop looking for Y/N. He would give anything those bastards wanted, anything to get her back.

***

Looking at her nephew, Polly rubbed her forehead. Dark circles under his eyes, lines of worry decorating his features.

Just like she did for her nephews and niece all those years ago, now she stepped in again to take care of Charlie, she had help him have a bath that morning, get him dressed and have breakfast, all while Tommy was still waiting for a phone call.

As she was wiping her hands with a small cloth, she heard the unmistakable sounds Charlie was making from the living room. The image broke her heart; Charlie was playing on the floor with a horse made out of wood and he was holding a small photograph of Y/N, making voices as if she was riding his horse, but what really hit her like a bucket of cold water, was Tommy’s lost stare, his eyes fixed on his son and the photograph, his cigarette hanging from his lips, still unlit.

She quickly moved with the lighter in her hand and the movement made Tommy snap out.

“Jimmy McCavern called.” Tommy stated without an ounce of emotion.

“Charlie? Sweetheart go and find my shawl, it’s by the window in my old room.” She ushered the kid out of the living room, to then look back at her nephew. “So? What happened?”

“They want the racing licenses, the exportation permit, two pubs and Arrow House.”

“What?”

“It’s the Billy boys Pol, they want everything or nothing at all.”

“But..” She tried to reason with him.

“They planted explosives in my property, they almost killed my boy!” Tommy exploded, his heart was beating like a drum, hammering his ribs, his head. “I’m not going to risk Y/N, I’m giving them what they want.” He explained with fear in his voice and eyes.

Then before Polly could do or say anything else, he stormed out of the room.

“Is my Dad mad at me, aunt Pol?” Charlie looked from the floor to her with sadness.

“Oh no my sweet boy, no…” she tried to stop the tears forming in her eyes as she hugged Charlie, “he’s worried about Mama, that’s all, he sent a letter and she hasn’t written back,”

“But she’s alright, she’s shopping.” He explained sure of himself.

“That’s right, but you know Dad right? He worries too much.” Bitting the inside of her cheek, she extended her hand to Charlie. “How about you help me bake a pie?”

Charlie nodded and rushed to the kitchen, allowing Polly to take a deep breath, she wasn’t sure how long they could keep lying to Charlie and if Y/N would come back from the Billy boys on one piece.

I like it in the city when two worlds collide

You get the people and the government

Everybody taking different sides

Tommy slammed the door, making Lizzie jump in the process.

“Do you have the papers I asked you?”

Lizzie looked away.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” He was about to lose his patience.

“Tommy…”

“Lizzie give me the fucking papers!”

When she didn’t move, Tommy walked around her desk, took the keys from her skirt and after fumbling with the keys for several seconds, he finally opened the drawer. Rushing towards his office, he took the pen and signed the papers.

As he was about to go out, the ringing of his phone made him stop on his tracks.

“How’s the paperwork going Mr. Shelby?” Jimmy asked.

“I need to talk to Mrs. Shelby first.”

Jimmy groaned. “Fine, you can say hi to the wifey.”

The next thing Tommy heard was Y/N gasping and letting out a sound of pain.

“Y/N!”

“Tom… don’t believe anythi-”

“That’s enough bitch, now…” Jimmy tore off the phone from her ear and threw her to the floor.

“Don’t you dare to hurt her, prick!” Tommy yelled, feeling frustrated and useless.

“Oh, what are you gonna do about it tinker-boy?”

“I’ve the papers.” Tommy made a huge effort to control his emotions, he needed to think.

“That’s what I like about you Mr. Shelby you know how to make a deal.”

“I’ll have the rest of your demands by the end of the week.”

“Fabulous, meet me at the canal at five o’clock. And you can have the wifey back after you hand over the rest.”

“Charlie’s yard. But I need to see she’s alright.”

“Ha, that’s not going to happen, I need to have a little fun first.” Jimmy hang up before Tommy could say another word, and it only left him more agitated than he already was.

Bonnie was already dead and Aberama was injured badly, he couldn’t let Y/N get hurt.

Tommy wanted to throw away the phone but deep down he knew it wouldn’t change a thing. So he walked towards the bar, finding only another memory unlocked as he saw the decanter, Y/N bought it for him after his horse won a race. Just like the globe and the black horse figure, she also added an hourglass in one his shelves.

Everything, reminded him of Y/N. No matter where he looked at.

Taking the checkbook from his drawer he started filling the information on the cheque.

***

Let’s leave the wives out of this. Tommy had whispered to Jimmy before turning his back at him.

It required all of his strength to not kill Jimmy right there at Charlie’s yard, but his message was loud and clear.

Subtly, Tommy let slip a direct threat to Jimmy’s wife by handling him the £500 cheque. Then pointing at Isaiah patrolling around should’ve made clear that he wasn’t joking.

About a couple of hours later, Tommy got a phone call from the Midland Hotel, announcing Mrs. Shelby was dropped at front desk.

He couldn’t drive fast enough to the hotel, smoking frantically to release some stress. As he saw the building another memory hit him hard, as the big salon was the place Y/N chose for the wedding back in the day.

For an instant he was transported back in time to that day, watching her in her wedding gown walking towards him, with her big smile and eyes sparkling from the love they felt.

'Round my hometown

Memories are fresh

Nothing prepared him for what he was about to see, surrounded by a sea of people carrying towels and a first aid kit. Tommy felt like his heart stopped beating as Y/N appeared in his eyesight, there was a deep bruise decorating her cheek, her chin scraped just like her palms, they were already putting some kind of ointment.

“Mr. Shelby I ran a quick checkup on your wife, but I’d like to run a few tes-”

But Tommy finally reacted and pushed past the Doctor to get to his wife. Kneeling in front of her, his hands trembling before caressing her face gently, he didn’t want to make her even flinch from the pain.

“Are you alright love?” He asked with fear in his voice, he was terrified to learn she was hurt.

Y/N threw herself in his arms, feeling relieved to finally see him. “Oh Tom!” Tears flew freely as she wrapped her arms around his neck, his came to rest behind her back, trying to convince himself that she was safe now.

Are the wonders of my world

Taking his gloves off, he took a deep breath.

“I’m hungry.” Y/N stated easing the tension, her statement made Tommy chuckle slightly feeling like he was getting his wife back.

“You heard Mrs. Shelby, she wants to eat something!” He cracked a small smile, leaning forward to catch her lips in a soft kiss, allowing her to give him back the part of his soul that was missing.

Wiping the tears from the corner of her eyes, Y/N arranged Tommy’s tie.

“So… I really need to leave all of this behind, I want to go home, have a bath and give Charlie a hug and then snuggle with you all night.”

“You know I can’t just look the other way around and pretend nothing happened, right?” He already had a plan to get to that prick and not lose anything in the process.

“I know,” her voice faded away as her hand squeezed Tommy’s. “Just let me have this moment, yes? I was terrified that I’d never see you again.”

Tommy swallowed hard as her voice broke. His hands rested at each side of her face, to make her look at him.

“What makes you think that you’d get rid of me so easily, ey?” Tommy asked with glossy eyes.

“Never.” Y/N moved her hand to the back of his head.

“Charlie has been asking for you a lot, Polly told him you were out of town, shopping.”

“Oh! Then we really need to get a few things, to keep the lie going.” Y/N joked, earning a scoff from Tommy.

“Everything reminded me of you… the house, the neighbors, places we’ve been together, this hotel, where we got married.”

Tommy motioned Y/N to stand up, his arm around her waist for support. Kissing her hair softly, he could only think of the memories they still have yet to create.

***

Masterlist

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @gypsy-girl-08 @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @forbidden-forest-witch @ange-thoughts @moral-terpitude @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @thenattitude @winchestergirl22 @zablife @heidimoreton @imichelle-l-rigby @allie131313 @already-broken144 @peakyscillian @babaohhhriley @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @sydneyyyya (can’t tag) @adaydreamaway08 @pono-pura-vida @thomashelbyswife @darleneslane @everythingelseisextra

[slut4thebroken]

Home Improvements

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Emmett x wife!reader

Summary | Emmett does yard work while you’re outside tanning and you (both) get a little needy.

Warnings | Smut, semi public sex, humiliation, exhibitionism, a lil degradation, breeding, slight age gap, they’re so cute it kinda makes me sick lol.

Words | 1.8 k

Notes | I’ve been wanting to write some consensual Emmett stuff for a while so thank you to the anon who sent an ask to @kiss-me-cill-me who ended up tagging me🤭

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

More of these two

(Ignore the fact that idk how lawn mowers work lmaooo)

You were laying down on a lawn chair in your favorite bikini, sunglasses on and book in hand, but you weren’t reading anymore. You were completely focused on Emmett. The top two buttons of his shirt were left open and his already short sleeves were rolled up a little, showing even more of his muscles and tattoo in a way that made your mouth water. 

When you noticed he was standing still, you forced yourself to pay attention and realized he was looking at you. “What?” You called out. The engine of the lawn mower was still on, but it was quieter now that he wasn’t moving it. 

“I asked if it’s too loud.” Your heart fluttered a little— he’s always so considerate. 

“No it’s okay. Thank you for checking though.” You were out here first so of course he wanted to make sure he wasn’t disturbing your tanning/reading time. 

You continued watching him. Occasionally he’d stop and remove his hat to wipe the sweat from his forehead, but he was getting through it pretty quickly, much to your displeasure. 

“Hey, Emmett?” You yelled, hoping he heard you with how far he was. He paused, turning toward you, and when you waved him over, he obeyed instantly.

“Yeah?” 

“Aren't you kind of hot? It’s like 80 degrees out today.” You said casually, confusing him. 

“A little, I guess.” He shrugged. 

“Maybe you should take your shirt off. Feeling the breeze really helps.” You suggested, glancing down at your mostly nude body to show that you weren’t completely bullshitting that excuse. He chuckled quietly and shook his head a little, looking away from you with a small smile. 

“Sure, baby.” You knew that he knew exactly what you were doing, but you didn’t care. You got what you wanted and that’s all that matters. He started unbuttoning the rest of his shirt, then tossed it onto the second lawn chair. Since he already knew, you decided to close your book and put it on the small table in between both chairs. 

“You know, it also might help if you work a little slower too. Going fast means using more effort, and that means getting hotter quicker.” You knew it was grasping at straws and completely cheesy, but he scoffed a laugh and played along. 

“Good point. Any other suggestions?” 

“None that don’t involve public indecency.” You said teasingly and he chuckled again before walking back over to the lawn mower to continue. You could see now that his torso was glistening with a light sheen of sweat, only getting you more worked up. 

There was something so incredibly hot about watching your husband do completely mundane, domestic tasks like mowing the lawn and barbecuing. He also had a really bad habit of doing home self improvements… so at any given time, there was at least one part of the house that was unfinished. The plus side to his love of home diy’s was that he’d build you things for the house, like extra storage in a weird space where nothing could really fit, or a new table after you accidentally spilled paint all over it and couldn’t get it off. 

You frowned when he turned the lawn mower off and started walking over to you. “It looks amazing, honey.” You smiled, shamelessly eyeing his body as he sat down on the chair next to yours. You offered him your glass of ice water which he took eagerly, gulping down more than half of it in one go. “You know, I think you deserve a reward for doing such a good job.” Honestly, it was more a reward for you being able to sit here for half an hour without jumping his bones. 

“You hate when I’m all sweaty.” You could tell that he wanted whatever you were offering though. 

“Yeah… but that just gives us an excuse to have round two in the shower.” You smirked and his lips curled up into a small smile. 

“Come here.” He said as he laid back in the lawn chair, letting you climb onto his lap. His hands settled on your hips as you took off your glasses and his hat before finally kissing him. Your arms draped over his shoulders, letting you play with the hair at the nape of his neck. When he pulled back, you whined quietly. “I don’t think I can do yard work while you’re tanning anymore. I’ve been hard since I walked out here.” You choked out a laugh, then started grinding on his bulge, making his breath catch in his throat. 

“I agree. I’ve been wet since you started mowing.” You leaned down to kiss him again, still grinding your hips, and his hands dragged up your sides to cup your breasts, making you moan quietly. When he pulled your bikini down to rest below them, you let out a gasp that turned into a mewl when he leaned forward and sucked your nipple into his mouth. “Fuck- Emmett…” You said through a breath, tightening your grip on his hair. “People might see.” Even though you were in the backyard that had a wood fence all the way around the perimeter, there was still a chance. 

“Thought you said I deserve a reward.” He grumbled, moving to your other nipple to suck and nip at it teasingly. “And I want to fuck my wife on my own property. I don’t give a shit if someone sees.” You knew that wasn’t true. You’d have to stop him from commiting a felony if someone accidentally saw your body because of how jealous and possessive he could be. 

“I’m gonna be pissed if we get in trouble with the HOA.” A few years ago, you never would’ve imagined that you’d be married, living in a suburban house, worried about the HOA. Despite your words, you started snaking your hands down his chest and stomach to his belt. You managed to unbuckle it, even with how close your bodies were, then you opened his pants and took out his cock, stroking him to full hardness. 

“Fuck.” He hissed, kissing up your chest to your neck, then sucking the skin into his mouth to leave a mark. “Need you, doll.” He whispered, hips bucking up toward your hand, desperately seeking out your tight, warm cunt. Since you were just as desperate, you quickly pulled your bikini bottoms to the side and sunk down on his cock, making both of you moan. You sat down on him completely, then paused, needing to let yourself adjust. 

When his hands snaked around to your back and tugged on the string of your bikini, you gasped and tried to keep the fabric from moving away— at least with it below your breasts, you could quickly cover yourself if needed. Emmett didn’t seem to care about that though as he pulled it over your head then threw it somewhere to the side. 

“Fuck..” You said through a breath. The risk was making you infinitely needier and as you continued to get more turned on, you started to care less about someone possibly seeing. 

“Come on, baby. Give me my reward.” He gruffed. As if your body was completely under his command, you started rocking your hips, warming yourself up a little. You cried out when he suddenly slapped your ass. “You know what I want.” His voice was much harsher now, making it clear that this was a demand, not a request. So you started bouncing up and down on his lap, forcing moans out of both of you. “That’s it… Be a good little wife and use that greedy cunt to please my cock.” He groaned, slapping your ass again before moving his hands up to grope your tits. You were starting to sweat now as you panted, quickly heating up from the exertion. 

Getting bolder, he suddenly reached for the strings on both hips, then quickly pulled to untie them. “Emmett..” You warned— being completely nude was way too risky.  

“We can move this to the front yard if you’d prefer.” He threatened, making you falter. When you gave up on trying to stop him, he smirked and removed the fabric, leaving you fully bare. “What would people say, honey?” He murmured mockingly. “If they knew that you liked riding me in public, in broad daylight, without wearing any clothes.” 

“Emmett…” You whined, his words making you needier. 

“Oh, I know, baby… I know.” He cooed, brushing your hair behind your ear and cupping your cheek. “You can’t help being a whore, but it’s okay because you’re my whore. Isn’t that right?” 

“Yes.” You mewled, desperately moving your hips, chasing your release. 

“Say it.” His hands settled on your hips and he held you still, then started bucking up into you. 

“I’m your whore, Emmett.” You whined with a blush. He moved one hand to smack your ass as a warning, then immediately put it back on your hip. “I’m your whore!” You cried out, much louder this time. “Fuck— please make me come.” 

“Wait just a little longer, doll, I’m almost there.” He said breathily, tightening his grip on your hips almost painfully and bucking up into you so fast, you had to bite your lip to keep from screaming. Your breasts were moving embarrassingly with how hard he was pounding you, only furthering your humiliation… which only brought you closer to the edge. 

“Emmett.. please, I can’t hold it.” You whimpered, clinging to his shoulders, trying to ground yourself. 

“Go ahead, sweet girl…” He said through a breath. “Come for me.” You reached down to rub your clit and when your orgasm crashed over you, Emmett quickly lifted a hand to cover your mouth, muffling what would’ve been a mix of a scream and a moan. You stared down at him with furrowed brows as your body trembled with each wave of pleasure that rolled through you. 

He cursed under his breath when your orgasm made your cunt squeeze his cock almost too tight, sending him over the edge as well. You only had to endure the overstimulation for a few seconds while he continued bucking up into you, riding it out. His grunts and breathy moans were creating a new pool of arousal in your stomach, but he was done before he could get you worked up all over again. 

When he relaxed his grip, you accidentally sunk down all the way, making you both wince from the sensitivity. You were still panting and Emmett was in a similar state, but he snaked his hand around to the back of your neck and pulled you down into a kiss anyway. It was short, but still deep and passionate, leaving you even more breathless. 

“I’m going to look into building higher walls for the fence so you can start tanning naked.” His lips were curled up into a poorly concealed smirk. “Just so you don’t get tan lines, obviously...” He said coyly, making you laugh. 

I think I want to write more for them cause I really like their dynamic so send me some ideas <3

[xsweetcatastrophe]

You broke me first

part 27

cill: bad news.

zoe: uhoh. what?

Zoe hated text messages like this. It’s bad enough he was leaving soon, how much worse can it get?

cill: it was more than just a wardrobe fitting.

Zoe: ???

cill:

Zoe laughed at the picture, staring at the signature pesky haircut he’s been subjected to all this time during this series. He hated it, he hated the upkeep, and he hated growing it out. Zoe knew he was relishing in the last couple of days of his normal hair before the inevitable happened.

Zoe: wow they really went short on the sides! Better wear a hat you’re gonna catch cold over there.

Cill: i’ll be living in hoodies with the hood up for the foreseeable future.

cill: how you feeling, bunny?

Zoe had taken a sick day from work today. She didn’t feel good, had the chills, and had zero appetite. She was camped out on the couch with a cozy blanket, a cup of tea and the remote while being under the care of her trusty live-in nurse - Scout, of course.

Zoe: a bit better. definitely a lot better than this morning. Scout has been taking care of me. Might actually take him out in a bit and get fresh air.

cill: don’t go outside if you’re sick. i’ll do it when i get home. did you eat anything?

Zoe’s heart still fluttered when he said home. THEIR home, where they live together, even if it’s just the time being.

zoe: i had some ramen noodles for lunch. maybe ill take a bath. i want to change the sheets too just in case whatever i have is contagious, dont need you getting sick.

cill: i’ll take care of the sheets and Scout. you just rest and take a bath. when i get home we’ll talk about dinner.

Zoe: can i suggest a pizza?

cill: not a chance.

zoe: worth a shot.

Zoe smiled and put her phone down on the couch. She looked at scout who was laying the couch by her feet sound asleep. She sighed and was hoping he’d want to go out.

“Scout… hey, wanna go out, boy?” Zoe whispered, nudging the sleeping dog with her foot.

Scout yawned, looked at her, and rolled over and went back to sleep, facing away from her.

“sheesh, okay then,” Zoe mumbled. she peeled back the blanket she was under and stood up to stretch. She was still in her pajamas, which was a baggy band t-shirt that came down to just above her knees. She hadn’t showered yet, was sure she smelled gross and she definitely felt gross. She made her way to the linen closet and pulled out a fresh towel and made her way to the bathroom.

She hasn’t been able to take a bath since she took a bath at Cillian’s in his ginormous, pristine, white bathtub. Her bathroom seemed small and dirty, and didn’t seem as relaxing as Cillian’s bathroom felt. But, she knew the warm water would make her feel better, so she decided to make the best of it, as she turned on the hot water faucet. She decided to grab a bath bomb and a lavender candle to make it more cozier.

She stripped off her T-shirt and panties and lowered herself into the warm water after dropping the bath bomb in. She had the candle lit on the corner of the edge of the tub and she was already starting to smell the lavender fill the room. She cursed herself for forgetting a second towel to fold and use as a pillow for her head, so her dirty T-shirt would have to suffice.

She relaxed and lowered herself even lower into the water, exhaling and closing her eyes. Her tub made Cillian’s look like an olympic sized swimming pool, and she had to bend her knees out of the water.

“If i close my eyes and pretend im anywhere else, its not so bad,” Zoe thought, feeling the water gently slosh around her legs. She heard the jingle of metal on metal, and she opened one eye to see where it was coming from. She was greeted by two big brown eyes staring back at her from the bathroom door.

“don’t tell me NOW you wanna go out,” Zoe said to Scout. Instead, he nudged the door open farther and made his way into the bathroom, peeking into the tub. Zoe pat his head, thinking he wanted some attention. Once he realized she was wet, he cowered away from her hand. He instead circled on the rug outside the tub and lay down, seemingly wanting to nap close to her.

“awww,” Zoe said softly, closing her eyes again. “good boy.”

-

“hey.. baby.. hey.. HEY,”

Zoe jolted awake, water sloshing over the edge of the tub. She opened her eyes to Cillian kneeling next to her on the outside of the tub, hand gently shaking her shoulder.

“I forget you sleep like a rock. I was calling your name when i came home, and i found you in the bathtub like this,” Cillian laughed.

Zoe sat up and awkwardly stretched, her neck now in pain from the awkward angle.

“I didn’t think i’d doze off, I just wanted a quick dip to warm me up”

Cillian looked at his watch. “well, you texted me saying you were taking a bath 2 hours ago, and that water is barely warm anymore,” he said, standing up and grabbing the towel she had placed on the vanity earlier. he opened it in his hands and walked towards the tub. “come on, up.”

Zoe stood up and started shivering almost immediately. Cillian was quick to wrap the towel over her, rubbing her arms to warm her up. He then opened his arms and took her into them, holding her against his body.

“Can’t have you drowning on me, I’d miss you too much,” he said into her hair, giving her a kiss to her temple.

“I miss your bathtub in your old house,” Zoe mumbled. “That was heaven.”

“I’ll build you a bigger bathtub in the new house,” Cillian mumbled back.

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just hard to come back to what you’ve always known once you had a taste of luxury, that’s all i’m saying” Zoe replied.

“well when we’re in the new house you won’t have to worry about taking baths in small bathtubs again,” Cillian said giving her a quick kiss. “I stopped at that restaurant you like in the next town over and brought home some soup for you, and something for myself. I’m gonna walk Scout to the corner quick so he can pee, you get changed and meet in the living room, yeah?”

Zoe smiled. “thank you. that sounds good.”

Cillian walked out of the bathroom towards where Scout was and grabbed his leash while Zoe made her way to her bedroom. She grabbed some new underwear, some sweatpants and one of Cillian’s old T-shirts that would be extra baggy and extra comfortable. She put on some socks and made her way to the living room where she saw the takeout containers on the coffee table.

Zoe went to grab some bowls, plates and utensils and placed them on the coffee table. She grabbed bottle of water for herself and Cillian and made herself cozy on the couch.

While she was trying to find something to watch, Cillian came home with Scout. Scout ran to his basket of toys and pulled out a plush giraffe and began shaking it.

“Dog has so much energy, i swear we RAN home,” Cillian said, kicking off his shoes. He made himself comfortable next to Zoe and started unwrapping the containers.

“How did everything else go today?” Zoe asked, ignoring his shaved head. She already knew how that went.

“ummm…” Cillian started, hesitant to continue. If he was trying to hide something from Zoe, she picked up on it immediately. Something was up.

“what?”

“Well, for one, your magazine called. They said I have to do the interview all over again, with someone else,” Cillian said.

“that sucks, did they tell you who?”

“Some girl named Cindy? Cynthia?”

Zoe groaned. “great. good luck with that one. Where i ended up in bed with you by accident, she’ll try and sleep with you for real,” Zoe said.

“I think it’s over Zoom so you have nothing to worry about,” Cillian laughed.

Cillian cut up some chicken and took a bite. After swallowing, he continued.

“there’s uh… there’s more”

Zoe sat in silence, waiting for him to continue.

“My manager, Mary, is going out on maternity leave, and we’ve been having a hard time trying to find someone in the interim, but her and Hannah went to the same college or sorority or whatever, and she volunteered to do it while Mary is out. So Hannah is gonna be glued to my hip for the next couple of months. And apparently … I’m leaving for London on Monday.” Cillian said the last part very fast and very softly.

Zoe could hear her heartbeat in her ears.

be cool, be cool, be cool.

“oh wow… monday? that’s … in 3 days.” Zoe said.

Cillian put his fork down and grabbed her hand.

“I know, love, but it’s not permanent you know that. and we’ll talk every day. multiple times a day. I’m coming back.”

“i know.” Zoe said, forcing a smile. “I’ll coordinate stuff for the house for you while you’re gone, with all the furniture deliveries and stuff.”

“I appreciate it. thanks love. I already made you a key” he said, digging into his pocket.

“Assumed i’d help you move while you’re off being Tommy Shelby?? how’d you know i’d say yes to helping?!” Zoe joked.

Cillian smiled. “I was making you a key, regardless.” he leaned in and gave her a kiss, placing the key in her hand.

“So you and Hannah are gonna be quite the team…” Zoe continued.

“Yeah,” Cillian replied, “I had no idea she had managerial experience. But she started in the industry as a manager and pivoted into PR, so..” he continued, shrugging his shoulders.

“Cillian and Hannah, the dynamic duo,” Zoe said, taking a spoonful of soup.

“Yea,” Cillian chuckled, grabbing another mouthful of food.

“I mean, hey, what could go wrong?”

tags: @lau219 @shopgirl6us @cillianmurphyvevo @borntodiemp3

[kikimurphys]

Behind Closed Doors (Part 12)

Pairing: Cillian x Y/N

Warnings: Anxiety

Cillian paused at the door, feeling the weight of your words and the frustration in your voice. He couldn’t just leave like this. Taking a deep breath, he turned back, walking towards your room with his mind racing, desperate to find the right words.

He found you sitting on the edge of the bed, your head buried in your hands. Seeing you so distraught tore at his heart. He stepped into the room, his voice soft but determined. “Y/N, please, we need to talk.”

You looked up, your eyes red and puffy from crying. “What more is there to say, Cill? You’re not ready for this, and I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”

Cillian moved closer, his expression filled with regret. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice breaking. “I’m sorry for not being clear with you. For not showing you how much you mean to me.”

You shook your head, fresh tears spilling down your cheeks. “I just don’t understand, Cill. You say you love me and then you keep me hidden. It feels like you’re ashamed of us.”

Cillian sat beside you, gently taking your hands in his. “I’m not ashamed of you, Y/N. I could never be ashamed of you. I haven’t been this happy in a long time, and it’s all because of you.”

“Then why?” you asked, your voice trembling. “Why keep us a secret?”

“Because I’m trying to protect you,” he said earnestly, his eyes locked on yours. “Siobhan is angry, and she’s trying to use Max against me. I’m afraid she’ll go to the press and ruin everything—for both of us. I don’t want you to suffer because of my mistakes.”

You searched his eyes, trying to find the truth in his words. “I understand that you’re trying to protect me, but I need stability. I need to know that this isn’t just going to fall apart.”

Cillian nodded, his grip on your hands tightening. “We can take things slowly, Y/N. We’ll figure this out together. I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

You hesitated, uncertainty still lingering in your mind. “I just don’t want to get hurt, Cill. I need to know that there’s a place for us in your life, for real.”

“There is,” he said firmly, his voice filled with emotion. “There absolutely is. I love you, and I want to be with you.”

You let out a deep sigh, your shoulders sagging. “Maybe we rushed things. Between us, I mean. I need time.” You paused, looking deeply into his eyes. “And listen, I will let you know how she is and all, but I need time.”

Cillian looked deflated but nodded in understanding. “Yeah, all the time you need.” He stood up slowly, leaning down to kiss your forehead tenderly. “Call me if you need anything.”

You watched as he left, feeling a mix of relief and sorrow. The door closed softly behind him, leaving you alone with your thoughts. As you lay back on the bed, tears continued to fall, but you knew you had made the right decision.

Cillian got inside his car, staring into space. He smashed his hand on the steering wheel in frustration, berating himself for being so foolish. He wanted you, wanted a family with you, but after everything he had done, he wasn’t sure if he could get that.

The next morning, you decided to have Livvy over for breakfast. You hadn’t seen her in a while and needed to vent to someone about your situation with Cillian. When she arrived, she brought pastries and a gift for your baby girl—a cute pink outfit with white lace details, complete with a little hat and mitts.

“Oh, Liv, this is adorable,” you said, holding up the tiny outfit. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course, hon,” Livvy said, giving you a hug. “How are you holding up?”

You sighed, setting the outfit aside. “It’s been rough. Cillian and I… we had a big fight last night.”

Livvy raised an eyebrow. “Tell me everything.”

You recounted the events of the past week—the headaches, the appointment with the midwife, Cillian’s distance, and the fight. “I just don’t know, Livvy. I’m so insecure about everything.”

Livvy listened, nodding thoughtfully. “You’re doing the right thing by taking it slow, Y/N. It’s a lot to handle, and you need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself and the baby.”

“I know,” you said, wiping away a tear. “I just wish things were simpler.”

“Give him a chance, though,” Livvy encouraged. “I’ve never seen you happier than when you were together. He’s clearly trying, even if he’s going about it the wrong way.”

You sighed, feeling a bit more reassured. “I just need to see how things develop. I don’t want to get hurt again.”

Livvy smiled. “You’re strong, Y/N. You’ll get through this. How about we have a girls' day out? Lunch and a day at the spa?”

You felt a small smile tug at your lips. “That sounds perfect. I could really use a break.”

As you got ready to head out with Livvy, you felt a sense of relief. Maybe things with Cillian would work out, maybe they wouldn’t. But for now, you had your friend by your side and your baby girl to look forward to.

After a long day of pampering and laughter with Livvy, you felt a bit more relaxed. You had mani-pedis done and got your hair trimmed. You felt much more like yourself now.

Returning home, you spent some time cleaning your apartment, finding solace in the familiar routine. You cooked dinner, letting the simple, rhythmic tasks soothe your mind. As you sat down to eat, you reflected on the day. Livvy’s support had been a balm for your soul, and you felt a renewed sense of hope. Taking things slow with Cillian felt right. You didn’t have all the answers, but you were determined to navigate this journey with care—for yourself, for Cillian, and most importantly, for your baby girl.

tags:

@mamawiggers1980 @xsweetcatastrophe @galactict3a @thistheivyseason

[denimbex1986]

"I've been interested in Oppenheimer for some time. We put it in Tenet as a, you know, an analogy, but this idea of the moment where Oppenheimer and his team couldn't entirely rule out the idea that when they let off that first device, they'd start a chain reaction that would destroy the world; that just seemed like the most incredible moment in time to take the audience to - be in that room with them."

"You know, when I'm writing I try to be disciplined and not write with actors in mind, because then you're writing something you've already seen them do, and it's limited. But when you finish the script, then for me, I was adapting the book 'American Prometheus' and the book's sitting there with the real Robert Oppenheimer staring out with this incredible sort of blue-eyed stare from the cover of that book and I thought: 'Well, I know who could do that.' And I've been lucky enough to work with Cillian for - twenty years now?"

"Yeah."

"And - but never in a leading role. And this time I got to, to make that call and say: "Yeah, this is the one. You're going to take centre stage and you get to really carry the audience with you on this journey.""

"You see how I just got out of his light?"

"I mean, that was one of the great days; you have a few of those in your career and that was; that's been the best so far. I mean, in typical Chris fashion there's no like, text or preamble - 'I might be writing something' - it just came straight out of the blue, so it was a shocker, yeah. But like, the best type of shocker, you know?"

"No texting."

"Yeah, I love a good protagonist. Just to double-up on Cillian's - mine was: I read the script, I was mind-blown and then Chris said: "Will you do it?" So, forget texts and all that, he cuts right to the chase, but he's literally, for a director, he's very direct and it's why everything like you said, Matt, by the time I got to set you said: "Downey, everything happens in front of the camera; you're going to love this." You said to me, Emily, you said: "I'm telling you, this is going to be a life-changing experience." Of course he already knew, but then he was in front of it, and that was the real joy; was to show up for someone we all admire and watch him carry the ball..."

"He looks great in a hat."

"It was Chris' script. It was an extraordinary part. She's a fireball and complicated and not the archetypal sort of conformist of 50s housewife, you know? He's her fourth husband at 29, but I, I think they were like, like comets coming together and she was clearly a monumental presence in his life, but not an easy woman. I read this line in 'American Prometheus' that Chris encouraged us to read and it said 'she didn't do small talk, she only did big talk' - and it was so emblematic of the character really. But, I mean I just had the best dialogue and the best scenes and I think my scenes with Cillian were very emotional and wrought and, and exciting. It's where you see the, the intimacy of this man; you see the private life and the trauma of a brain like that, and it was just so exciting to get to work with Cill again and we - I'd loved working with him on A Quiet Place II, and I think having that trust and secret language we already had established was huge. You know - jumping into this world of tempestuous couple; I remember Chris saying when we did the camera test, we were in our prosthetics and Chris went: "God, I'd never want to have them over for a dinner party." Who'd want the Oppenheimer's coming over, you know?"

"You'd have to and you know it would like, get messy."

"Yeah, yeah. I mean, to echo what Downey was saying, Chris is very direct; like when he offered me 'Interstellar' years ago, he said: "You know, they say there are no small parts, there are only small actors", and I'm like "Yeah", and he goes: "This is a small part." So, so when he came with this one, we talked and, and he said: "You know, the book is 'American Prometheus', it's this great Pulitzer prize winning book." He goes: "I'm not calling the movie that, I'm calling it 'Oppenheimer' because it has to be entirely - it is going to be through his eyes." And when I read the script, I'd never seen this before - it was written in the first person. Never seen that before and it gave you as a reader the, that visceral, that subjective Oppenheimer experience, so instead of going: 'Oppenheimer across to the window', it says: 'I, I walk towards the window' and you're, you know, it just had this kind of immediate see - kind of visceral, punch. And so you could see what he was trying to communicate to us and to his crew like: 'This is what the movie is gonna be', and he said: "What I need are actors in support of that. This entire thing is going on Cillian's back, and I need you guys to support that, right?" And so that was really; that's a great kind of marching order - very, you know, actionable for us and, and easy to understand and every day I was like: 'All right, how can I help that?'"

"How can I get more lines?"

"'How can I get more lines?' But, but watching the two of them, because it really is a partnership at that level, when you see a movie of this scale, that is fearless enough to live in quiet moments, in, you know, in IMAX on his face, and with everything that's going on, I mean the most impossible moral quandaries you know, and, and live there, it's about these two guys being so locked in together and, and watching them build that together, and then watching Chris build a movie around that performance was, was the rush. So in my case it was yeah, you know, I'm one of the spokes of the wheel, and the tension between us is that, is that you know the military is obviously obsessed with secrecy and compartmentalization and, as you say the liberal scientists are like you know: 'Open the kimono, let's share all of our, our knowledge so that we can get to the answer.' And so there was this kind of natural tension, but despite that, these two guys actually really liked and respected each other, even though nobody else liked Groves. So that was the fun thing to play; I never had a character who was so brusque and blunt and just didn't give a shit, you know? Because to be liked, it was so far down on his list of objectives like, if you asked him: "Do people like you?", he would probably look at you like: 'I don't even understand the question.' You know what I mean? Because what they were doing was so consequential, I mean Chris has said, he's been on record saying Oppenheimer's the most important person to live in the last hundred years if not ever, and this movie is about the most important things human beings did perhaps in the, in you know, the history of the species. And so to be part of a movie that's telling that story, with a director who's at the absolute height of his abilities, you know with, with, with a chance to support that performance which to me is one of the great performances I've ever seen on screen, was thrilling so -"

"And this is the man who colonised Mars."

"And I had no supporting cast."

"I think Mr. Nolan, maestro, is a, a singular storyteller in that all of his movies, even at, you know, the most obvious one being the spinning top at the end of 'Inception', it's always inviting conversation. He's always presuming the audience wants to be elevated to a place where there's a dialogue that continues on. And then this is kind of the natural progression, you know, and I think about like: 'What was Kubrick doing before he decided to make - you know, pick one of his films and you just; you're just glad that there is this progression. But yeah, for sure, I mean we're excited by it and it's, it's a rollercoaster of just an experience cinematically, but it also is that thing that I think - that's why you're responding the way you are. You know, we want - we want to be challenged by cinema at its best."

"I would've taken it."

"We were all in New Mexico like, eating quesadillas and he was like in his room eating an almond."

"By the way, he declined every dinner invitation for the entire film. We invited him to dinner every night; he never came once."

"The only thing Chris would do by text was his daily calorie count."

"Well the approach I always take is do as much research as you possibly can, and there's so much out there about Oppenheimer and the Manhattan Project. There's, there's so much archival footage out there you can, you can access, and you know, obviously I read the book, but for me the most important resource was the script. You know, that's what I really worked on, and I had six months from when Chris called me unexpectedly and - to when we started shooting - to work on it. Having said that, I think when you get on the floor with actors like these guys, and with Chris, you kind of just put that aside and it all becomes kind of about the moment and the truth, and the emotion between the, the actors and that was just, every day it was - it was a gift. You know, I can't give you one specific point, but there was many scenes in the film, like with Robert and with Emily and with Matt like, they were just kind of electric; you could kind of feel it fizzing, and at that point, yeah, it isn't intellectual, it's kind of instinctual and, and emotional."

"Well I've used IMAX for years and, IMAX film is, is the highest quality imaging format ever devised. And what that gives you is access to the audience's perceptions; it takes the screen away. I refer to it as sort of 3D without the glasses. You know, you're just looking at a crystal clear, sharp image and we've used it in the past for a lot of action; we've used it for the grand vistas, and my director of photography, Hoyte van Hoytema and myself, you know, we knew we would get New Mexico that way. We would get the storms, we would get the desolation of where they, they built Los Alamos. But what we both got really excited about is: 'How can it, how can this format help give us access to Oppenheimer's thought process? How can it help us really peer into his soul?' You know - what happens when you apply that grand format to intimacy, to what these guys are doing, you know, to really seeing the world through his eyes and trying to pick up the different layers of, of what everybody is thinking and feeling and all of the conflicts and paradoxical situations and, and ethical dilemmas that are going on. And we found that the format is a powerful tool for all aspects of, of cinema really; and cinema is just about storytelling and it's more than anything about the human element."

"It's like how, how did they do that? But the, the like, I love like, like Downey's character, he's obsessed with this conversation that these two great scientists have. It's like, it's about the, the bigness and greatness of men in this - and women - in this smallness of us, you know what I mean? Like, human beings are just so - you know yes, to your point, it is, it, it, it, it, it - it's; there's a reason he wrote about it in Tenet, there's a reason it's in our movie. It's because it's, it's kind of a central conundrum like how, how they press the button anyway. How would you do that if there was any possibility, at all, that you could wipe the species off the planet? Like -"

"And they were taking bets on it."

"Yeah."

"That's the crazy thing."

"Well, I just also want to say the, the, the, the, the incredible brilliance of Opper - Oppenheimer, but yet his naivety, right, to go to, to, think that this, this is gonna end, perhaps end all wars. There's a moment in the movie that I love which is when the genie's out of the bottle and Oppenheimer realises that he has no control over, of it when he comes and says to me: "Should I come to Washington?" and I look at him and I go: "Why?" And you just realise: 'Oh my God, they're done with him.'"

"Yeah."

"You know now, now this thing is a reality and it exists in the world and he, and he, he has no control over it. And yet in his own kind of innocent and beautiful way, you know, he was the only person who could've helped create it, but kind of of thought it might be a force for good and like, what a ridiculous thought in retrospect - but what a; you know it's - it's so tragic and so kind of beautifully human at the same time."

"Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, totally. Well I mean, we were kind of trying to play the kind of interior I suppose; you know it was - it was to internalize the performance a lot. I think that's what we were certainly trying to do and, you know, certainly with all those amazing close-ups that Chris uses with, on the IMAX camera. Yeah, but that's that - they're the brilliant characters, you know, the ones that have that huge complexity and ambiguity and contradictions and I don't know - we just kind of had to plot our way through it, particularly when you're shooting out of order as well. You know; trying to figure it all out, where he stood emotionally and morally at each point in the story, is very, very complex; certainly the most complex character I've ever approached."

"Yeah, you told us a few weeks ago that there was something he said, which I loved, about that he's a chess player and not a boxer."

"That was, that was, that was in a scene we had, remember that? That was early on, and I think I came in a bit heavy in that scene and you said to me: "Yeah Cill, he's not a - he's not a boxer, he's a chess player." That's just an example of one of the unbelievably brilliant, precise - "

"Which gives you total permission as an actor by the way -"

"Yeah."

" - to just let the entire thing come to you."

"But it just can turn a performance like, completely on it's axis."

"One sentence can just - yeah."

"Pretty good at that."

"Well that's very kind of you to say. But the thing about that; not shooting in order, and you having to figure out that puzzle for yourself -"

"Yeah."

" - and you know, I'm there on set, trying to gauge that for the audience, I'm just sort of some of the audiences' - "

"Yeah."

" - eyes on set, but it's really not until we get in the edit suite and sit there with Jen Lane who's cutting the film, and then we see what all of you've done and it starts to fit together, and you see the work that's gone in. Because I get to take that for granted when I work with people this good; they turn up to set, they do their thing - it seems simple, it often seems effortless, and then you get in the edit suite and you see how it relates to something an hour away in the film - and there's where you start to see the work that, that these guys have put in."

"Well Benny, I mean I, I called Paul Thomas Anderson - he, Benny had just done Licorice Pizza - and I'm a big fan of Benny as a director, and you know, I called Paul and was like, before I'd seen the film, you know: "What do you think?" And he's like: "He's the best; you'll - you'll love him." He was absolutely right and Benny, you know when I met Benny, it became clear that he had almost become a physicist. He literally had a moment in his life where he's like: 'It's physics or it's, you know, filmmaking.' And so this was sort of - "

"That worked out the best for all of us."

"No he's - he was fabulous but the, the thing I had done at the script stage is I had decided, it's a risk and, you know, I'm hoping the audience enjoys this - I didn't make composite characters so we have a lot of people; got a lot of young, new faces, we've got a lot of stuff going on, and you're trying to cast people with a particular energy that's memorable, and fits the character. And I've worked with my casting director John Papsidera since 'Memento', and so he's brilliant at just finding all kinds of choices. And I get in the room with actors, I try to cast in person not, you know, not doing it all remotely and everything, and you try to sort of feel the energy of those people. And you get, you know, somebody like Alden Ehrenreich who comes and, and - "

"Just brings so much to the film."

"Yeah, I think particularly kind of, at the you know, later on in the movie and during the hearings, I think his passive approach must've just infuriated her, and you see it infuriate her because there's a directness and a forcefulness to the character; and conviction. She's got real conviction about everything from drinking to, you know, being hard on him, and so I think that's where you see the storm of the relationship start to kind of build; but you see loyalty and the fight that she has for him and - I think she worshipped him. I think she thought he was incredible and yeah, I think those scenes have impact in the film because she's maybe one of the only people who will just say what everyone else wishes they could, you know?"

"That's; that's a hard thing to answer without giving away, giving away the tricks. The visual effects supervisor was the first person after Emma, my producer, that I showed the script to, because I said to him: "You know, I want you to take computer graphics off the table and think long and hard, you know, over a series of months, do some experiments and figure out ways in which we can show Oppenheimer's interior state; his visualizing of atomic behaviour, of quantum physics, and then carry that thread right the way through to its ultimate expression in the extreme beauty and terror of the Trinity test - the first time that human beings saw nuclear energy released in, in that form. And so we worked long and hard on some things that were very, very small and some things that were very, very big - and we got out there in that desert with these guys and you know, we, we went through our own sort of mini version of that Trinity test, where you're all out there in the desert in the middle of the night, in your bunkers very, very focused on what's going to happen and making sure that it's being done safely and carefully, but done on a, on a suitably grand scale."

"I call it N.A.R. - No Acting Required. You just show up, you put on your, your wardrobe and you go on out and yeah - enjoy the show."

"Yeah, I kind of agree with Matt. I think you just have to - I don't remember us talking very much on that, that evening or those few nights that we were out because you're aware of what this means and what actually went down, and how like, the world changed completely from what happened there. So again, it goes back to what I was saying earlier; it wasn't a kind of an intellectual approach, it was more of just like an emotional approach - because we all knew; I think everybody, when we were out there on those nights in the desert, kind of knew what we were portraying so -"

"You're also putting yourself in that head, that headspace - "

"Yeah."

" - that, that, the anxiety like of what must have been, I, I, I - the most profound anxiety, fear, you know, hope; ever, everything that they had riding on this. You know, it was years of their lives, it was billions of dollars like just - that's what Groves' thinking right? He's probably thinking about how much it cost, but you know, they're also thinking: 'Wait a minute - we might end civilization'."

"Yeah."

"I don't like to be too specific about these things - I'm not making a documentary or a didactic statement or sending a specific message. To me the most interesting cinematic stories, they involve you in the characters' dilemmas, they take you on that journey and then if those stories have something to them - and this is one of the great dramatic stories of, of all time I think - it leaves you with resonances; interesting questions, ways in which it interacts with our own lives and the way, you know, we live our lives and what we worry about and what we care about. But no, I don't want to be too specific about it, I wanna - it's more, as Cillian was saying earlier, it's more of an emotional approach than an intellectual approach. You have the research, you have the history of the facts of the story, but you want the audience to feel it and you want it to leave them with a set of sensations and feelings."

[missymurphy1985]

The Revenge

Cillian and y/n had been together for 5 years, only these last few months he'd become seriously complacent and distant. Time for a wake up call.

Warnings - smut. This was a request from @being-worthy , I hope you like it!!

7pm. 7:15pm. 7:30pm. You kept glancing at your watch, the waiter bringing you another glass of wine as you sat, positively seething at the table. The third date night in a row he'd missed, and this was made you especially mad. Your anniversary meal. 5 years to the day since he asked you to be with him, properly be with him, after 2 months of being fuck buddies on the set of Peaky Blinders. You'd bagged the job of being his umbrella girl, so spent most of your time with him, and one thing had led to another after he'd invited you in for a game of cards and a bottle of Jameson's. Strip poker became your new favourite game.

You downed the wine, paid the bill and called a taxi back to your shared apartment. Walking in, he was nowhere to be found. Locking the door, seeing his keys still on the table in the hallway, you turned your phone off and went to bed.

"Sleep on the fucking porch, dickhead."

Waking up the following morning and turning on you phone to 17 missed calls and 7 voicemails, she smiled. Deleting all of them, she slipped one of his shirts on, and made her way downstairs to hear the front door being pounded. Smiling, you opened it to see Cillian stood there with a look of pure rage.

"Morning baby, have a good evening?" You opened it allowing him to enter.

"Where the fuck were you?? I've just spent the night sleeping in the fucking car y/n, why was your phone turned off?" He barged his way in, pushing past you to get to the toilet, his bladder screaming from inside him.

"Sleeping. Battery must have died. Shouldn't have left your house keys, should you?"

"Fucks sake... I'm going to bed." He stalked upstairs, not looking at you and went to bed. Now, you were really angry.

When he came back down a couple of hours later, he was still mad at you. Wouldn't say two words to you as you sat in the living room watching TV, coffee in hand. Into the kitchen he sulked, slamming cupboard doors to make his frustration clear to you. You just smiled.

You were showered now, but still wearing his shirt, buttons done low, exposing your cleavage, with no underwater underneath. You were determined now, plan in action, he was going to suffer for this. Walking into the kitchen, you opened the fridge to get some orange juice, bending completely Dr the waist, exposing your bare backside under the shirt. You felt his eyes on you, watching you, and inwardly grinned, though he couldn't see as your hips swayed slightly as you bent further to grab the juice at the bottom of the fridge. Standing back up, you turned to face him, shirt hanging off your shoulder now exposing almost down to your bare nipple, you straightened your body to drink from the carton, then bent again to place it back in the fridge. His eyes didn't leave your body once as he sat at the breakfast bar with a slice of toast.

"You mad at me, y/n?"

"Hmm? Why would I be made at you, now Cillian?" You smiled sweetly, noticing a small drop of juice on your finger, you licked it as seductively as possible, winked and left the room. Now he was confused... And hard. You smiled, knowing exactly what effect you'd had on him and went upstairs to get ready.

"I'm meeting Orla for lunch, I'll be back by 4." You called from the stairs.

"Tell my sister I said hello, yeah?"

"Maybe." You went upstairs to get dressed, within 20minutes you were out the door.

The following morning, you woke to find Cillian in his office downstairs on his laptop. You'd avoided him most of the previous evening, making him sleep in the guest bedroom. Sure to keep him out of the bedroom you shared, you'd locked your door.

Perking your nipples slightly to harden them, you stood at his office door.

"Hey... Um..." He glanced at you at the door and had to swallow a gasp. You winked at him, before making your way back upstairs. You heard him growl slightly, close his laptop and follow you. Sadly for him, you made your way into the bathroom, and locked the door. Bath time.

Sinking your body under the water, you could hear Cillian moving around upstairs, just outside the bathroom door.

"Y/n will you tell me what it is I'm supposed to have done wrong?" He paused outside the door knocking lightly.

"Mmm.... God this bath feels nice... Warm water on my skin... Fuck I needed this..." You moaned as seductively as possible, keeping your voice just loud enough so he could hear you.

"Y/n open the door... I can make that bath even better..." His voice deepened. This was working like a dream.

"Mm.... Don't you have another appointment with your agent Cillian?" He knew he was in trouble. You never called him by his full name, it was 'Cill', 'babe', but only Cillian when he'd pissed you off. Which he'd clearly done, but had no clue as to how.

Over the course of the following fortnight, you'd kept Cillian at bay, he was still sleeping in the guest room, your bedroom door remained locked overnight (he'd tried, you'd heard him, it was fucking hysterical) while you continued to seduce and tease him mercilessly. Orla had called to say he'd even tried calling her to find out what he'd done, but good as gold, she told him she had no idea what he was talking about.

Cillian had had enough at this point. He'd even tried getting himself off at night but he couldn't do it - his hands just weren't as good as yours, it wasn't the same. He genuinely thought his balls were going to explode, the tension inside him was driving him insane. He called his sister Orla again when you went out to do the food shop, desperate this time.

"Orla I need your help please, I'm your brother... Please? Surely she's told you what it is I'm supposed to have done wrong? All I did was go out with Adam for one night and she's barely spoken to me and hasn't TOUCHED me since!"

"Woah now, that's waaaay to much info for your sister to be hearing now!" She laughed at the other end of the phone, rolling her eyes. Y/n had done very well to keep this up for two whole weeks.. maybe it was time for some sisterly advice for her older brother.

"Cillian when did you go out? What date?"

"Few days after my birthday, so the 30th May I think, why?"

"No, it wasn't the 30th. Think again. Check your dates." He put his phone on loudspeaker and checked his calendar. Then it dawned on him. Oh fuck... Oh shit... Shit shit shit!!

"The 27th.. oh fuck Orla it was the 27th.. and I'm looking at the fucking calender entry for our date night saved as a fucking DRAFT!! I didn't set it properly... Oh fuck Orla I'm a dead man, how's she not killed me?"

"I think in a way she has Cillian!! You've got some serious making up to do - not like the first time it's happened now is it?" He groaned... This would be the hat trick. Three date nights missed because he couldn't work the fucking calendar app on his new phone properly.. but that excuse wasn't going to wash now, he'd had plenty of opportunity to sort his sorry ass out. And to miss their anniversary dinner? No. He'd make this right. He thanked his sister, ended the call and opened a different app on his phone. Operation Clemency was in motion.

****************************************

You left your friends house on Friday afternoon to see Cillian's car parked outside. You could see bags on the back seat, him standing by the open passenger side door waiting for you.

"What are you doing Cillian?"

"Surprising my girlfriend. Listen y/n, I've been a fucking idiot okay? Missing our anniversary date, after missing two before that.. neglecting you, neglecting US... Let me make it up to you, yeah?" You couldn't help but smile, nodding your head you took his hand as he led you into the passenger seat, closing the door behind you.

All the way there you stole glances at one another, Cillian refusing to tell you exactly where you were going. You couldn't help the feeling of excitement - never in 5 years had he done anything like this, you'd have to make a habit of punishing him if this was the outcome..

Pulling up outside a large manor house an hour later, you gasped in shock.

"Shit.. Cill this is beautiful!"

"It's ours." You nearly had whiplash from the sudden head turn in his direction. "I bought it last month, I was waiting until your birthday next week to surprise you, but now seemed like a much better option. Welcome to our new holiday home baby." You couldn't help the tears forming in your eyes.

"Oh my god... But how? When? I don't understand!"

"All those appointments with my agent? Didn't you wonder why I wasn't getting any work from it all? I was at the bank sorting the mortgage for this place! Picked the keys up yesterday, it's fully furnished and ready for us. I figured we could spend the Summers here. Beach is less than a 5 minute walk away, the boys will love it." You were stunned. Well and truly stunned.

Leaving the car, you walked to the front door, Cillian handing you the keys. You opened it and walked inside into the most beautiful setting - it was newly decorated exactly to your liking. It was perfect. You turned to face him.

"You know, I might just forgive you after all..."

"Nope. Not yet. I'm not done." He smirked. "I want you to go upstairs - our room is second on the left. Lay down on the bed and I'll be up in 15 minutes." Raising an eyebrow, you complied, walking up the stairs eagerly anticipating what he had planned. "Fully clothed y/n... Don't remove a damn thing."

You walked in to find a large double bed with fresh sheets, covered in rose petals. Candles lined most of the hard surfaces in the room. It brought a lump to your throat. A fresh bouquet of flowers on the chest of drawers under the window, with a small envelope under them, your name written in Cillians hand writing. You opened it to find a two tickets to the new Enda Walsh play showing at the Gaiety later that week - it was sold out and you remembered telling him you were disappointed to miss it, but when you're Cillian Murphy, sold out meant nothing.

Hearing him coming up the stairs you quickly lay down on top of dozens of rose petals on the bed. He walked in slowly, casting an eye over your body. This would be the hardest thing to do now, trying to control himself, but he was determined to make this last as long as possible. Moving to the old record player in the corner of the room, he turned it on, allowing the gentle sounds of the music to fill the room softly. Making his way over to you, he kneeled on the bed, eyes never leaving yours.

"You're not to move unless I tell you to, okay? Just relax. Sit up." You sat up as he lifted your t shirt over your head, swiftly followed by your bra. Pushing you back down and turning you onto your front, he carefully sat himself across your legs, opening a small bottle of something you couldn't see. Suddenly his hands were on your back, smoothing the oil into your skin, putting pressure all over it. Closing your eyes, you relaxed into the massage as he skilfully eased away as many knots as he could find in your slender muscles.

"Fuck... Cill that feels amazing... Don't stop, please..." He bit his lip, he could feel his erection forming under his jeans and willed himself to have self control. Two weeks without touching you was a long time...

He moved his hands lower, teasing the waistband of your jeans as he moved his body down, pulling them over your hips, underwear following. Now you were completely bare, his hands now expertly rubbing hard circles over your thighs, your calves, then your feet. Your core was burning now, his touch, even after 5 years, doing things to your body you still couldn't believe we're possible. Your hips twitched slightly with the throbbing feeling you couldn't ignore deep in your groin. He could almost smell it, the need in you. Smiling, his hands moved back up your legs, dipping between your thighs and moving closer to where you desperately needed him. He grinned, and teased his fingers closer, then pulled them away. Back over your firm cheeks, up your spine slowly. You groaned, you were positively on fire now.

"Patience..." You bit your lip as he whispered in your ear. He turned you onto your back, now running his hands over your belly as he moved back to hover over your waist. Hands moving higher, he kneaded your breasts, knowing it would drive you crazy.

"Ahh... Fuck Cill... Baby please..." He chuckled, this was more fun than he anticipated, why had he never thought of this before?

Leaning down, he trailed a line of kisses long your exposed neck, your head flung back as he continued his assault on your breasts. Nipping the skin, sucking lightly, you arched against him. You felt close to an orgasm already and he hadn't even got to the good part yet. Your breath coming out in short bursts as his lips moved lower over your collarbone.

"Feel good baby? Feeling close huh? Keep those noises coming, fuck you're turning me on right now..." His voice was intoxicating, his hands roaming, now his lips, you couldn't stop the heat rising in your belly, that familiar knot forming, how was this even possible? You didn't care, and you couldn't stop it - you came hard, bucking your hips up to meet his as it overtook you.

"Fuck... Baby oh my god...." You came down from your high and looked into his eyes, now darker and desperate. He was trying so hard to control it but the control had gone. He hadn't expected you to cum from this alone, clearly he wasn't the only one who'd gone without these last 2 weeks.

"Take them off." He didn't argue. His clothes were removed quick as lightening as he opened your still quivering legs. He quickly pushed himself inside and stopped, just enjoying the feeling of your core swallowing him again.

"Jesus.. I swear you got tighter..." You raised your hands to his face and glared at him.

"Shut up, and fuck me Mr Murphy." With pleasure, he thought to himself, as he pounded into you hard and fast, both of you groaning into each others mouths as you kissed hungrily, desperate to get as physically close as possible. You rolled him onto his back, keeping him inside you, as you leaned back and rode him hard. You moved his hands to hold onto the bed frame behind him.

"You've touched me enough, it's my turn." Your hands roamed over your own breasts now, hips still rocking against his, your second orgasm fast approaching. You knew, after 2 weeks of abstinence, he wouldn't last long and you were right.

"Baby.. slow down.. I can't... Oh fuck... Ah... Feels too good..." He was raising his hips to meet yours, you felt your orgasm taking over.

"Cum baby... Need to feel you... Fill me up... Drown in me..." He couldn't hold back any longer and with a final, hard groan he came, filling you. His hands came to rest at your frozen hips, he felt your walls clench around him as you came alongside him, both of you breathing heavily as you came back down to earth from the most exquisite high either of you had ever had. Leaning your body back down to kiss his lips, you gave him one more squeeze of your walls, emitting a twitch and a gasp from him, before collapsing next to him.

"Fuck... My god Cill, I'm gonna have to punish you like this more often..."

"The fuck you are y/n, never again are we going more than 24 hours without sex, ever.. I don't care how mad you are at me.." you both laughed, curling up in each others arms, Cillian whispering how sorry he was in your ear, how much he loved you, as you gently fell asleep.

The following morning you woke to an empty bed, but you could smell coffee and breakfast being prepared downstairs. You made your way down wearing just his T shirt from the day before and found a full breakfast waiting for you. Sausages, eggs, bacon, toast, juice, croissants... All there on the countertop. A plate, cutlery and a coffee waiting for you.

"Just missing the pinny Mr Murphy..." You giggled as he turned and stuck his tongue out at you cheekily.

"Eat up and get dressed y/n, I'm taking you for a walk this morning." Smiling, you ate, and an hour later you were stood on the beautiful golden sands of the beach 5minutes from your new holiday home. Watching the waves crash, you were the happiest you'd felt in a long time. You heard Cillian behind you.

"Turn around, y/n." As you did, he took your hands in his and kissed your lips.

"If I have to spend every single day for the rest of my life saying how sorry I am, I will. If I have to spend every second making it up to you, I will. You have completed my life y/n.. after my divorce, I didn't think I'd ever be lucky enough to find love again. Then you came along and everything slotted into place. My boys adore you.. their Dad couldn't live without you.. y/n..." He sank down to the ground, reaching into his jeans pocket. Bringing a small, velvet box back up to you, your breath caught in your throat, tears already in your eyes.

"Make me the luckiest man in the world y/n.. marry me?" You fell to the floor alongside him, tears openly falling now as you cried, pulling him close, kissing him softly.

"Yes!! Oh my god a million times over, yes I'll marry you!!" You both grinned, standing now as he held out your left hand, slipping the simple, white gold band and diamond onto your finger. Nothing else mattering in that moment apart from the dreams you both shared of the amazing future you had ahead of you.

@queenshelby @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @being-worthy @margoo0 @cloudofdisney

[missymurphy1985]

Friends with Added Benefits (part 5)

Warnings - smut / pregnancy (this one got kinda long haha)

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen

Paul had been true to his word - he had even been an alibi for Cillian when suspicions had been raised - Cillian had fallen asleep in your hotel room one night and no one knew where he was the following morning. Paul had said he'd slept in his room that night after a few too many whiskeys.

Filming was coming to an end soon - you'd only got a week to go before it was wrapped. You hit the 12 week mark a few days earlier, and a slight bump had definitely appeared across your lower abdomen now. You had butterflies every time your fingers crossed it. You'd had your scan the day before and you and Sophie were sat looking at the photo in the canteen.

"That's it's nose I think.. and I think that's a leg. Could be an arm..." You were grinning from ear to ear, Sophie was beaming too.

"What's got you two grinning like Cheshire Cats?" Cillian's voice called over from the coffee station.

"Y/n's 12 week scan photo!! Come see!" Sophie waved it at him, and you definitely saw his face change. The smile had gone, and he cleared his throat, before making his way over.

"Soph he doesn't want to see it, it's just a grainy photo, men aren't bothered by this stuff..." You protested, but Cillian had already taken the picture and was looking at it.

"And everything is okay y/n?"

"All fine - perfect in fact."

"Good.. that's good." He looked at the photo again and handed it back to you, squeezing your shoulder slightly before walking away.

Sophie was called over to makeup, leaving you with your thoughts. You didn't want him to see that photo - he wasn't supposed to see it.

Putting the photo back in your bag, you made your way to his trailer. He'd been acting weird this last week - you'd been in his room the night before and he'd made you leave your t shirt on.. not what you expected from someone with a self professed pregnancy kink.

You didn't even knock, just let yourself in. He wasn't there, strangely, you were certain he headed this way.. turning round to head back out you spotted two boxes on the side. Pregnacare vitamins.. what was he doing with those? Beside them was a carrier bag... More vitamins, a hot water bottle, slippers, and a small baby blanket, baby vests, babygros, even a teddy bear... the trailer door opened and he was suddenly in front of you, glancing between you and the bag.

"We wrap next week, it was just a few things I picked up in town yesterday..." He took the bag from you and you couldn't help but smile.

"You didn't have to do that Cillian.."

"No I know, but I wanted to." He took his beanie hat off and placed it on the table, sitting himself on the sofa. You sat across from him on the other side.

"Are you okay Cill?"

"What? Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Are you?"

"Yes. Listen we haven't really ironed out the details of this, um, arrangement..."

"Details?"

"The legal side.. I can speak to my solicitor when I get home, make sure we're both covered? You know, the parental rights thing?"

"Oh.. yeah, just, um, just let me know what I need to do..."

"Cillian are you really okay?"

"I'm fine!" He snapped, making you jump. You stood abruptly, he'd never raised his voice to you before. His eyes cast towards the small bump under your tight t-shirt and his head fell. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

"The fuck is going on Cillian?"

"I can't do this.. seeing you grow.. your body change.. it isn't doing what I expected it to do.. it isn't a turn on y/n.." his words stung, and you turned to leave, tears threatening to erupt. He grabbed your arm to stop you.

"It's not turning me on - it's making me fall."

"Fall?"

"That's my baby in there y/n.." his hand fell onto your belly, the first time he'd touched you there, he'd always avoided it, and your heart jumped.

"Cillian you said - "

"I know what I said. But that was until you showed me the positive pregnancy test. I swallowed it down, put it down to shock.. but then your body changed.. and that scan photo today... It isn't shock y/n, it's complete and utter admiration. For you."

"Cillian what are you saying?"

"I'm saying.. I want this baby. Our baby.." his hand never moved, staying on your slightly swollen bump, eyes burning into yours.

"You told me you didn't want to be involved, you didn't want a relationship, you didn't want to be tied down? This is going against everything you said and everything we agreed..."

"You think any of this is easy for me? You're having my baby and I'm not gonna be a part of his life! That's my child you're carrying..."

"Cillian..."

"You don't want me, and that's fine I'm not asking that of you, but let me be a part of his life? Please?"

"Who said I didn't want you?" He looked at you confused.

"You said -"

"We both clearly said a lot of things we didn't actually mean, didn't we?"

"You want me?"

"I think I do, yeah.."

"You think?"

"We've only ever seen each other during filming.. we have no idea how we'd actually get on outside of this set and the hotel room?"

"We can change that."

"How? I live in London, you're in Dublin..."

"It's doable y/n. We owe it to this little one to try, right?"

"We've got 6 months before the baby arrives Cillian, how the hell is this going to work?"

"Move in with me."

"In Dublin?!"

"In London. I've been looking at houses."

"I can't ask you to leave Dublin, you love Ireland..."

"Then move to Dublin?"

"What? Cillian this is crazy..."

"Come to me for three months. Move in with me, let me be there for you both. Three months, if it works we decide then what we do. If it doesn't.. well we'll cross that bridge if it comes to it. What do you say?"

"My doctors are here, my midwife..."

"Then I'll move in with you. Give me three months - that's all I'm asking?"

"What do we tell people?"

"The truth. The baby is mine. Either way, no matter how it goes with you and me, I want to be a Dad to him."

"You keep saying him..."

"Gut feeling. It's a boy. Even bought a blue blanket, see?" He held up the baby blue blanket.

"See now I think it's a girl! I bought a pink one on Amazon last week," you smiled. He cupped your face in his hands and rested his forehead on yours.

"Tell me you don't want me and I'll accept it y/n."

"I want you, I do... I'm scared of how people will react that's all.."

"Only one way to find out isn't there?"

"When?"

"Tonight, after dinner. We announce it then. I'll do it if you don't want to?" You nodded. Your eyes watering. "Don't cry on me, you'll set me off..."

"You? Crying?" You smirked.

"What can I say y/n, you've broken me." He kissed you, a different kiss than any he'd given you before. Deeper, more loving, gentler. At first anyway.. it soon became hungrier, your bodies pressing together as your clothes were removed. He paused before lifting your t shirt over your head, his eyes moving down as he lifted it up. It was one thing feeling it, but now he could see it his breath caught in his throat. He dropped to his knees, his lips pressed against your stomach, kissing it lightly.

"Okay I lied..."

"About what?"

"Fuck, I need you.. and now..." He moved over to his trailer door and locked it, before lifting your now naked body onto the counter. You'd only ever had him in the hotel room, this was way riskier - there were other crew and cast members walking around outside but neither of you cared. You cared even less when he dipped down and placed kisses along your inner thighs, opening your legs as wide as he could before drawing his tongue up your slit, your hands gripping his hair.

"You need to be quiet y/n.. you can do that yeah?" You nodded, biting your lip to stop your moans as he buried his mouth against your core, his tongue rolling against your sensitive clit sending you into overdrive. You couldn't help but rock your hips against him, your orgasm building quickly. You had to cover your mouth to stop yourself from screaming as you came over his lips, your free hand gripping the side of the table. He chuckled as you caught your breath, before lining himself up and pushing in slowly.

"That was quick, even for you..." He whispered in your ear as he filled you completely, setting a steady pace.

"You feel so good inside me Cillian..." He groaned gently into your neck, carefully thrusting so as not to generate too much sound or movement in the trailer. He lifted your knees as high as they could go, as he leaned back slightly, both of you looked down, watching his cock move in and out. He brought his hand between you and started to rub your clit with his thumb, bringing his other hand over your mouth to muffle your groans. His breathing deepened as he picked up the pace a little, your walls clenching around him as a second orgasm took over.

"I'm gonna..." he thrust hard twice before spilling inside with a gentle groan, resting his head against yours, catching his breath.

"I'm gonna get to do that every day.." he whispered, circling his nose against yours.

"Yes you are... are you sure about this?"

"I've never been more certain of anything in my life."