#The Devil's Dictionary

[uwmspeccoll]

Marbled Monday

This marbled Monday we're sharing the devilishly delightful book The Devil's Dictionary by American short story writer, poet, and journalist Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?). A widely influential writer of many sorts, Bierce disappeared in Mexico in 1913, so the actual date and circumstances of his death are unknown. The Devil's Dictionary is a satirical dictionary consisting of humorous definitions and is considered one of the best pieces of satirical humor to come out of the United States.

This edition was published in 1972 by the Limited Editions Club and features woodcut illustrations and devilish ornaments by German artist Fritz Kredel (1900-1973). The marbled paper used for the endpapers and the slipcase are patterned using a fantasy design in red and black that is described as a "harmonizing flame pattern" in the prospectus. Our copy is from the collection of Austin Frederic Lutter and includes his bookplate.

View more Marbled Monday posts.

-- Alice, Special Collections Department Manager

[lost-carcosa]

Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.

Ambrose Bierce ~ The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

[etudiantfantome]

November – The eleventh twelfth of a weariness.

[ivandurak]

CANNIBAL, n. A gastronome of the old school who preserves the simple tastes and adheres to the natural diet of the pre-pork period.

Ambrose Bierce. The Devil's Dictionary.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Sycophant, n.—One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked.

—Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary (1906)

[Thanks Robert Scott Horton]

[katokardio]

CAT: a soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

Ambrose Bierce

"The Devil's dictionary"

[onenakedfarmer]

AMBROSE BIERCE The Devil's Dictionary

FAIRY, n. A creature, variously fashioned and endowed, that formerly inhabited the meadows and forests. It was nocturnal in its habits, and somewhat addicted to dancing and the theft of children. The fairies are now believed by naturalists to be extinct, though a clergyman of the Church of England saw three near Colchester as lately as 1855, while passing through a park after dining with the lord of the manor. The sight greatly staggered him, and he was so affected that his account of it was incoherent.

In the year 1807 a troop of fairies visited a wood near Aix and carried off the daughter of a peasant, who had been seen to enter it with a bundle of clothing. The son of a wealthy bourgeois disappeared about the same time, but afterward returned. He had seen the abduction and been in pursuit of the fairies.

Justinian Gaux, a writer of the fourteenth century, avers that so great is the fairies' power of transformation that he saw one change itself into two opposing armies and fight a battle with great slaughter, and that the next day, after it had resumed its original shape and gone away, there were seven hundred bodies of the slain which the villagers had to bury. He does not say if any of the wounded recovered.

In the time of Henry III, of England, a law was made which prescribed the death penalty for "Kyllynge, wowndynge, or mamynge" a fairy, and it was universally respected.

[kaet-draws]

vergil is my dress up doll and i get to put him in ffxiv gear and pose him using samurai skills

bonus pic under readmore

not immune to giving him v's tattoos for no reason other than i like it

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Where did he come from and where did he go?

Naturally you are referring to the hero of a popular American folk song about a man named "Ambrose Bierce."

Ambrose Bierce came from Ohio and wrote many books such as "The Devil's Dictionary" (a compilation of silly made up facts) and "Incident At Owl Creek Bridge," in which he invented the twist ending (the Lincoln Memorial turns out to be an ape).

"Where did he go?" is a far more complicated question, and is literally, and this part isn't made up because the reality is so unfathomably absurd, the silliest missing persons case in the history of the world.

In 1913, Bierce did the following things. Again, this isn't made up:

Wrote a letter to his best friend saying "I am going to fight in the Mexican Revolution with Pancho Villa."

Traveled through El Paso into Mexico.

Told numerous people he was headed to the state of Chihuahua to join Pancho Villa in the revolution.

Told numerous people he would likely be executed by firing squad for joining Pancho Villa in the Mexican revolution.

Became the subject of a US Consular investigation that interviewed Pancho Villa's soldiers, who all said Bierce joined the Mexican Revolution and got executed by firing squad in Chihuahua.

Was spoken of by priests near Chihuahua who said that he joined Pancho Villa and was executed by firing squad.

The ludicrous part is that his disappearance is seriously still considered one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of our time.

[porterdavis]

Devil's Dictionary - Ambrose Bierce

RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

[thepersonalwords]

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

[dabiconcordia]

One President What are those, father?' 'Statesmen, my child Lacrymose, unparliamentary, wild.'

'What are they that way for, father?' 'Last fall, 'Our candidate's better,' they said, 'than all!'

'What did they say he was, father?' 'A man Built on a straight incorruptible plan- Believing that none for an office would do Unless he were honest and capable too.'

'Poor gentlemen-so disappointed!' 'Yes, lad, That is the feeling that's driving them mad; They're weeping and wailing and gnashing because They find that he's all that they said that he was.' by Ambrose Bierce

[ivandurak]

ABSTAINER, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Ambrose Bierce. The Devil's Dictionary.

[ask-the-devils-bastard]

*Concerned noises* Bee, please hear us. Find a way to interfere and pull Angel back in a way that won't put him in Valentino's cross hairs later.

[Sadly, your words don't reach her. But Bee doesn't just stand around. Her wings buzz as she leaps over the railing, taking to the air to scan the crowd for Charlie. The hellhounds in the crowd begin to howl as she sweeps overhead and she puts on a cheerful face for them, not letting on that anything is wrong. Finally, she spots Charlie talking to a pair of darkly-dressed Sinners.]

Charlie: -and then we made some good progress with the trust falls-

Beelzebub: CHARLIE! There you are, girl!

[Bee drops out of the air and lands gracefully right behind Charlie.]

Charlie: Bee, hey! I'd like you to meet Carmilla Carmine and Zestial, two of Pride's Overlords. Miss Carmine helped us defend the hotel in the last extermination by supplying us weapons. Guys, this is my aunt - sort of - Beelzebub, Queen of Gluttony!

Zestial: Hail to thine unholy grace.

Carmilla: Your majesty.

Beelzebub: You can cut the 'your majesty' stuff. I like to keep things chill.

Zestial: As thou sayest.

Beelzebub: Hey, you old timers mind if I borrow the princess for a second?

Carmilla: By all means.

[Bee leads Charlie away to find a more private place to talk. Carmilla heaves a heavy sigh of relief.]

Carmilla: If I had to listen to that inane prattle about 'sharing circles' for one moment longer-

Zestial: Peace, Carmilla. Thou hast secured thyself a favorable position in the princess's grace. Pray, enjoy this night of revelry and take satisfaction that thy station may benefit from these events.

[Carmilla hums and sips her drink. Her steely gaze remains on Charlie and Bee where they are conversing in a secluded corner.]

Zestial: ...It once troubled me as well.

Carmilla: Hm?

Zestial: To think that however much power I might amass for mine self, it shalt never be more than a grain before Hell's mightiest denizens. That many terrors the likes of which we may never match swarm the depths of Hell never to be reached by our kind.

Carmilla: Ah. No, my friend, that isn't what concerns me. Anything that bleeds can be killed.

Zestial: Then...?

Carmilla: ...For a being as ancient as her, she reminds me uncomfortably of that respectless brat, Velvette.

[Zestial barks out a laugh.]

[onenakedfarmer]

AMBROSE BIERCE The Devil's Dictionary

DAWN, n. The time when men of reason go to bed. Certain old men prefer to rise at about that time, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach, and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.

DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper—the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort. These two kinds of social activity overlap.

[metonimiah]

Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.

― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary.