#The FOCUS of this post is Dazai's TRAUMA so please do not click if the subject is triggering for you

[harukatomoe]

Special (Yumeno x Reader)

Originally posted on January 4th, 2017. Yumeno’s birthday.

So like, I imagined you to be in your twenties in this one-shot bc I have yet to think about a young!Reader, interacting with Kyūsaku. BUT LIKE DON'T GET ME WRONG ABOUT THIS THIRTEEN YEAR OLD AND A TWENTY-SOMETHING YEAR OLD BEING TOGETHER. More friendly? ------------

Special

There was no difference.

There was no difference to him.

There was no sign of any concern in his deranged eyes. Only focus on the individuals that "hurt" him. The madness that welled deep in his veins was definitely displayed in his actions. He seemed soulless almost; just his words kept your thoughts back that he was still sane. Screams were audible from half a mile away, the area being the source of the screams. Red, warm liquid everywhere; consistently being shed within every few seconds another swing was given at a person.

But, he was only a child.

No, he is a child.

Your eyes could not follow the various different activities going on around you. There was bloodshed everywhere. Bloodlust in everyone's eyes. Constantly they attacked each other, brutally.

They didn't know.

They didn't know that they were being controlled.

They didn't know that they were being controlled by Q's ability; Dogra Magra.

You had to live with this. You were Yumeno's partner after all.

After the threeway clash with the Mafia, Agency and Guild, it was decided that Yumeno would be released from his containment and allowed to roam freely as he pleases; as long as he had someone watching him, that someone was you. You could still remember the dryness in your mouth when your boss had informed you that you'd be the one supervising Yumeno Kyūsaku, a.k.a. "Q". You could remember being unable to speak upon his order, remembering your boss asking if you were okay; you were pale.

Even though it was multiple times that you've seen Yumeno use his ability - with his twisted laugh, you could never get used to how much he looked like he enjoyed hurting others. Never being able to succumb to the amount of body bags you had to see after a large mission that was given. Never being able to-

"(Last Name)-san?"

You felt a strong tug on your jacket sleeve. You instantly snapped out of your thoughts, feeling like the breath you just took was your last. A slight chill ran down your spine as you felt like all over you just sweat. You looked down your right arm, to see Yumeno smiling ecstatic up at you.

"I'm done~"

He sang.

You nodded as you followed him.

"Would you like to play?" You could already hear his sick laughter, he was trying to scare you; and honestly, it was working a little.

"Kyūsaku, let's just get back to base."

Yumeno spun back around to you on his heels, an unamused face given to you. His mouth was tugged to the right of his face as he blew a raspberry at you, booing at you afterwards.

"Boo...(Last Name)-san you're no fun~"

You rolled your eyes, ignoring the boy. He was always like this; after every mission, asking if "you'd like to play" with him. He knew how you felt about him, how much you couldn't stand looking at his work. He barely cared, he'd say. But, he knew what he was born with; he never wanted it, he wanted to be happy. He didn't want you to know that though, he kind of liked the thought of you being scared of him, but yet again; he wanted to be happy.

You were only slightly scared of him though. Knowing what he could do. The only reason you were his partner was because of your ability. It was similar to that of the great ex-executive of the Port Mafia; Dazai Osamu. You heard many stories about him; his nullifying ability, how he became an executive at a young age, how he betrayed the mafia - you heard everything about him. Though, you were much different than him, they told you. You were less of a threat than him, which made it easier for them to control you. With their ability to control you and your ability, you were to watch over Yumeno. You had the power to drain the physical energy out of a person, with a single touch. You could render them unconscious even; so if Yumeno ever decided to go against you, or the mafia mainly, you could stop him.

"(Last Name)-san, I'm hungry. Can we go for dessert?"

"Yes...we can."

❣  Some time later  ❣

There you sat, watching the white and brown haired boy scarf down on his many desserts. He mostly ordered the brown sugar flavoured desserts that he was very fond of.

As he was sitting there, you became lost, deep in your thoughts.

❣  Flashback  ❣

"I don't understand why you don't talk to the boss about this," Chūya shook his head softly, gulping down another sip of his wine. You sat beside him, staring down at your wine cup as well. The atmosphere was a little depressing, you had to admit; but you couldn't blame it, it wasn't something to be happy about at all.

"you could get hurt, or worse even; killed."

"I know..." you sighed, lowering your head even lower than before. You raised your head for a moment, just to have a sip of the expensive wine Chūya presented to you a few minutes before. You tasted the bittersweet liquid in your mouth, savouring it as you felt a bit of your worries lighten. Your eyes half lidded as you gazed over to the side to listen to what he had to say next.

"You 'know'. Shit, (First Name) are you even listening to me? I don't want to see you in a body bag, alright?" You felt a bit honoured that you were really close to one of the five executives. Chūya cared deeply for you, maybe even more than just one of the people he's working with; but a friend. After all, it was you that saved him from his mass injuries; you could still remember the pain in his face when he arrived back at base a few years ago. You didn't know what happened and didn't question it, you used your ability; not only could you drain, but give as well to heal any injury. Not too grave though.

"Last thing I need is another person I know to disappear out of my life." [dammit, Dazai why-]

❣  End of flashback  ❣

You rested your chin in the palm of your hand, staring glassy-eyed at the boy who was in his own little world of sweets. You could feel the table shake as he swung his legs back and forth in his seat. You observed him without any thought: his porcelain-like skin, pink-hued cheeks, odd shaped pupils, and his different coloured hair.

"You should kill him." You remembered Chūya saying. You were capable, but unwilling.

"He's only a child," you remember replying. It was those four words that kept you from ever hurting the boy. Even though Yumeno's ability was triggered from pain to him, with your ability, you could counteract that.

"He's only a child," you were right, he was only a child. With all the consistent comments about Yumeno, you could tell what kind of trauma he's been through just by looking at him. The white hair on his head; it's not anything from having bad blood, it was having tons and tons of emotional trauma that caused his hair to turn white. Also known as the Marie-Antoinette Syndrome.

You could never find yourself to blame him for anything that's happened; you didn't know about his past, but what you did know was that he was raised in the mafia. Who knows what the mafia was capable of, what he's seen; all there was to know was it wasn't anything pleasant.

Suddenly, Yumeno stuck a piece of his brown sugar cake in your face, the piece stabbed by a fork. You raised your chin off the palm of your hand, tilting your head at the boy to question his actions. You parted your lips slight, very confused by him. Yumeno shook his hand a little, pushing the delicious dessert closer to you. You pursed your lips at him, shaking your head no.

"No, but thank you for offering it to me, Kyūsaku."

"Hmm~ You should at least try it, (Last Name)-san. It's good!" You could already tell that he really meant that last part, crumbs of the pastries and drink on his cheeks around his mouth. The boy waved it around, not seeming like he would give up offering it to you unless you accepted it. You let out a sigh of defeat, opening your mouth so he could feed you. Yumeno reached farther, sticking the fork in your mouth along with the sweet pastry. Once he pulled away, he continued with his food, letting out sounds to exaggerate how good they were.

"How is it, (Last Name)-san?"

You shrugged, picking up the napkin next to you, "It's good..." It's too sweet...! You thought, cracking an uneasy smile. Yumeno nodded excitedly, attempting to speak through the food in his mouth. You clicked your tongue, holding his face as you wiped the frosting and crumbs off of his face. "Don't speak when your mouth is full, Kyūsaku."

Whenever you two were together, which was basically ninety-percent of the time, leaving out some time for yourself (sleeping, bathroom breaks, etc.), you would look over him like a mother and her child. You were like a mother to him, or a big sister. There would be times that Yumeno would say inappropriate things regarding the chaos he could cause, and you'd be there to tell him not to mention it, scolding him then and there. There would be times where he'd be impolite and you'd teach him manners that were never taught to him. You were teaching him how to be a decent human being during your time together, despite the type of work you two do.

You and Yumeno lived together in an two-bedroom apartment, it was weird at first but, you two eventually got used to seeing each other everyday. You knew that when you were assigned, it meant keeping an eye on him 24/7, so you took him into your home and set everything up for him. He didn't mind it as long as you didn't pester him so much when he was at home.

Yumeno nodded at your lesson, only to start talking through his food again.

"Iwt's doh gowood." [It's so good.]

❣  On the way home  ❣

"I'm so full, (Last Name)-san, could you carry me?" He reached up to you. Your eye twitched at his request; Yumeno was thirteen years old, did he really need to be carried? Also to add, Yumeno was only inches shorter than you, just enough that it would seem awkward for you to carry him.

"You don't have any sharp things on you, do you?" With knowledge on how Yumeno went about on using his ability, you were cautious. It took a few seconds before he actually responded to your anxious question, shaking his head no with a smile on his face. A part of you felt queasy about picking him up, but you obliged anyway. You opened your arms as he wrapped his around your neck, you hoisted him up and jumped a bit to get him comfortable and secure.

Yumeno held onto you tightly as you started moving in the direction of the Port Mafia base, just to drop off your report before heading home with him. There was complete silence between you two, only the small light breathing that came from Yumeno was audible in your ear. You strolled down the streets with the cursed boy in your arms, rethinking your thoughts. Yumeno was a nice boy, despite his twisted personality.

Yumeno felt like he could close his eyes, just trusting you enough to relax. He knew that you wouldn't do anything to him. He inhaled deeply, inhaling your slightly rich, floral smell. It relaxed him, putting him at ease. The warmth he was getting off you soothed him so; he never experienced this kind of care before, but he had to admit, he loved the feeling.

Was this the feeling he was craving for his happy life? Were you the key source of his dream? Could he live a happy life with you in the twisted one he's living in?

No. He told himself, it couldn't be.

He's seen the way you look at him, with great disapproval. He knows how you feel about him, like he was some monster. He's heard you talking to others, looking down on him behind his back. He's thought about your thoughts, your plan. He's felt your fear.

Or was all that in his head?

Everything was going in slow-motion, as if this was something important playing in his life. The warmth he was feeling had gone cold, the scent he snuggled up against had gone sour. He couldn't understand, he couldn't believe his own two eyes. How did you two switch positions? How did it all happen so quickly? Why did you do it? Why were you shielding him?

A sharp gasp echoed in his ear, almost bloodcurdling. He felt a strong grip on both his arms, holding him in place. He felt the warm red liquid splatter on him, staining him from the torso up; it wasn't a huge amount though. His eyes couldn't focus in front of him, everything was a blur; in his peripheral vision, he could see the people around shrieking in terror, gasping, running.

It was only until you stomped down, snapping him out of his blurred vision that he could finally comprehend what was going on; blood running down and out of your mouth, your uncontrollable trembling, the bloody coughs that you choked back on when you tried to speak to him, the unknown object that was impaled through your back. He finally understood, there was an unknown man with an ability behind you.

"Ky-Kyū-" You called, more of the metallic liquid running over your tongue.

Had the man behind you mean to aim for him instead? Had you seen him while he was lost in his thoughts? Had you quickly spin around so that you would be the one hurt instead of him?

Yumeno knew what was going on, a hitman was sent to eliminate him, but you had gotten in the way. That was the only part that Yumeno could't follow was that, you were always so strict towards him, looked at him differently, feared him; or was that all in his mind? This whole time, were you actually caring for him? Was he seeing this all so differently?

"(L-Last Name)-s-sa-...?" he called, his breath hitching in his throat. He gulped down the hard lump in his throat, reaching out to you; reaching to touch your cheek. He could see how weak you were, how much you were struggling to keep standing.

"R-Ru..run..." What?

"Kyūs-saku...run.." What?

As his hand came closer, a burning sensation filled his eyes, tears pooling up in his eyes. He didn't know what to do, he just wanted to touch your cheek for answers; he always felt so calm when you touched him.

Just about when Yumeno was close to seeking for your feeling, you dropped onto your knees, then falling down flat. The unknown ability had been pulled out of you, blood pooling from underneath you. It took him a long moment that you had disappeared from in front of him. He blinked in realisation once, bringing his traumatised gaze down to see you beneath him, not sure whether if you were dead or alive.

He gasped. His heart hurt. His chest felt like there were knives in it. He didn't know if he was sad. He was confused. He was alone. He wanted you to guide him. He didn't know the man before him. His mind was fuzzy. He was trembling uncontrollably. He felt great fire inside of him. He felt rage.

It was only after Yumeno used a sharp object to injure himself by the "help" of the stranger, that his terrifying ability was activated.

❣  Hours later  ❣

You felt an itch on your arm, twitching in the darkness of your eyelids. You moved your head to the side, frowning in discomfort. Were there bandages wrapped around your arm? And your torso? Judging by the tight and rough feeling. You could feel that your breathing was weird, the feeling of tubes in your nose? Something strapped to your mouth?

You cracked open an eye, a bright white light flooding your vision. It took a moment before you could see what was around you. A few machines and tubes, some people you knew who were working in the medic area of the Mafia, and Chūya standing next to Yumeno. You sat up from your laying position, feeling the intense pain in your torso; a few of the nurses came to your aid, but you waved them off. You pulled off the mask and looked directly into Chūya's eyes, seeing him shake he head as he closed them.

Suddenly, you felt someone pull at your arm. You snapped your head towards the source, your (Eye Colour) irises meeting with Yumeno's unique pupils. You could tell that he's been crying, the redness underneath his eyes gave it away. You let out a sigh of relief, relieved that he was okay, that wasn't injured. Though, you watched as tears rolled down his cheeks, biting his bottom lip to stop himself from crying in front of everyone.

"Hey there...don't cry."

"I-I thought tha-that you were-" you hushed him softly, stroking his hair. Yumeno kept shaking his head as he clung to your arm. The anxiety that built up inside him when he knew that an operation was going on, on you. The fear he felt when he was told that you might not make it, the fear of losing you. You were the one person that ever treated him nicely, through the smallest things that he only realised when you were close to disappearing forever.

Yumeno realised after all this that you were important to him, special to him. He had never felt so enraged when watching someone he knew get hurt. That's when he knew that he never would want to use his ability on you, or anything that had to do with hurting you.

"But, I'm not, see?" You smiled, opening your arms for him. Instantly, he got the message, jumping into your arms. You giggled, resting your chin on the top of his head. You held him in a tight embrace, feeling him hold you as well. He was familiarised with the warmth and smell, his crying then dying down. "I would never intentionally hurt you, I would never leave you all alone, I will never stop loving you, Kyūsaku." you committed, leaving a long, endearing kiss on his forehead.

"I...love you, (Last Name)-san..."

End