#The Great Ones cant have children of their own.. so they impregnate humans in hopes of a child

[solargeist]

yknow one of my original inspirations behind the Watchers being motherly was bloodborne ?

in one ending, she turns you into a weird large slug and you're essentially her eldritch child !

[rhodochrosite-love]

Watched LOTR and The Hobbit within the span of two weeks here comes my oc genealogy (tw long post and rape mention)

So it all starts with Oropher, King of Mirkwood and father to 3 sons-- Thranduil, Galador, and Eldaerenth (last two are self made, not canon) and The youngest is at the Battle of Dagorlad, where his father was slain.  He was gravely injured, and had been patched by his elder brother Galador.... In time Thranduil had not only inherited the kingdom but had a son as well.  When his beloved was lost, however, Thranduil became hostile and did not wish to be consoled.  He even struck Eldaerenth, leaving him quite the trauma.

The youngest of Oropher abandoned the elven kingdom and sought the company of danger, quick to slay goblins and orcs with the blade that he himself had forged within his family’s walls.  As time passed he found himself fighting werewolves on the eastern borders of Hobbiton, and he had fallen injured on the doorstep of Galswinth Diggle, sister to Dina Diggle.  

Galswinth took great care of him and made him feel more at home than he had ever felt in Mirkwood.  Years passed and they found themselves married and in deep love... They would have two children, a boy and a girl, and their names would be Blithe Diggle and Shaidalar Diggle, respectively.

Why are their names not Treeleaf, you ask?  Well, Eldaerenth had changed his name to Diggle when he married Galswinth, as to separate himself further from his family.

Blithe would grow up to be quite the curious half hobbit-half elf.  He would invest himself in other hobbits lives and make merry with many!  A time had come when he had wished to venture, though.... quite unheard of!  However his father had given him his blessing and told him all he needed to know to survive, and warned him of the dangers that lie ahead....

It was on his adventures he met a gaggle of dwarves from Nogrod, one of which was Thomli Tunnelfoe; A Dwarven woman who had wanted to hurt Blithe more than anyone else.  

She just didn’t understand him, how could an elf even mate with a hobbit? they’re smaller than dwarves! it’s freakish-- Blithe didn’t seem to mind, in fact he was falling in love with her fighting spirit!  He often copied her to learn to fight better, and in time she did teach him the proper way to hold an axe.

Years upon years later did they tie the knot-- Their children would grow up to be peacemakers that fought in the War of the Ring.  

Thrirlum Diggle, the eldest daughter with dwarvish stature and hobbiton features with an appetite for a thousand chickens

Drerlum Diggle,  the second eldest daughter with hobbiton stature and slightly elvish features who did not fear the brunt of the goblin blade

and Childebrand Diggle, the youngest son with a elven stature (aka, taller than all 4 of the others) with dwarvish and hobbiton features, with a soul strong enough to outlast more than you’d think!

On Shaidalar’s side, things did not pan out particularly well for her.  She had always hoped to have many children and live a sweet life in The Shire... but fate had different plans for her.  

When she had ventured out to hunt a special meat in the Weather Hills, she was attacked and assaulted by Ergoth the Snarling, and impregnated her.  For months she was at a loss as to what to do to this child other than to kill it.  Months and months had passed and she was in agony, with her family and friends to help her through the pregnancy.  When the child was born, she had cast it out and did not care what would become of it.

Eldaerenth had stepped in here.  With his beloved Galswinth slowly dying he had begun to realize his growing lonliness.  What better way to occupy himself than to take care of an outcasted creature?  And his grandson no less...

Adelbert Diggle grew up to be the most peaceful of Diggles, to everyones surprise.  

Years after Adelbert, Shaidalar had met a man who requested aid from her father, and had offered her own services.  She knew the dangers of the outside world fairly well now, but had learned how to use a sword and shield and wanted to fight for herself.  The man, Caldwell Lonevale, accepted her help and her wisdom.

After a roaring battle with a different kingdom of man, he had married Shaidalar, and they had two sons together.

Brim Lonevale, a shorter than average man who had a great knack for blacksmithing

and Ankilm Lonevale, a man with stubby hobbiton features who took to breadmaking.

Unbeknowest to Shaidalar, however, Calswell was kanoodling with a human woman.  From the enemy side no less!  They had been kanoodling for a while now, and it was Blithe who told his dear sister.  

Years after their divorce, it was an elven man who had happened upon her in the kingdom of man, finding her so intriguingly out of place.  He was the steward of Elrond, and had dropped by every time they had come to council the human king.  Shaidalar and Falael Arrowmark had grown very fond of each other, and grew as people together.

This time, Shaidalar had a daughter, Tialla Arrowmark.

...Tiallas childhood was not as happy as you may think.  She faced racism every day and began to hate her own races-- hobbiton, elvish, dwarvish, orcish, human, all weren’t enough and too much at the same time.

To cope she fought creatures of the shadows and gained skills in which no mortal could posess.  It was only on the borders of the Shire did she finally collapse from exhaustion and defeat....

....which is how she met her beloved, similar to her grandparents.

Arlad Cottonbottom was one of the Shires finest bachelors, and while he wanted children he struggled with the concept of marriage.  Everyone wanted to please him, never showing their true selves... so when a cute woman with mystic abilities lands on his doorstep, he cannot lie and say that he isn’t attracted.

Tialla is hostile and speaks in a harsh elvish, which Arlad finds soothing despite her tone.  She is fussy the entire time she is resting, but she softens when she sees what he does for a living!  Arlad is a toymaker-- a plush stuffer specifically.  He brings so much joy to the young halflings.  He opns his heart to her and she cant help but fins him endearing...

Years later they find themselves wed, and go on to have a sweet baby girl.

Eirlys Cottonbottom, who is my main girl.  My epic, tattooed sweetheart whom i love so much.

She gets a tattoo every time she visits a new town (or she draws a symbol on a cloth and has it tattooed by her dwarf cousins later).  She gets to meet the company of Thorin Oakenshield!  Gandalf knows her well enough to know that she is trusted.  Bilbo is surprised to find that she is of hobbiton, but no surprise she comes from Eldaerenth.  He is well known within the Shire as a thieving, conniving dark elf by the grumpy.

Throin and the rest of the dwarves are put off by her family origins (or as much as she had been willing to share) but were all automatically in love with her when she downed an ale in no time flat.  Legolas finds her refreshing, as he had never even known he had a family member such as she.

She would give her all and give some more for the company, and she is at the dwarves’ side in the very end and feasts with them in the great halls of Erebor.

I’m sure she’ll either fall into a slumber when she is old, or she dies on the battlefield... perhaps she accompanies the fellowship?

if you got this far i freakin salute you chief, go ahead and give this a reblog pwease

[peakytoms]

NSFW ABC’s ~ John Shelby

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

So things with John boy never get too wild so aftercare is not really necessary. He likes to just lay in bed and talk to you about his day while you two share a few cigarettes .

He also loves eating after sex because he expels so much energy during the deed—so he will usually go downstairs and drum up some bread and jam and bring them back upstairs for you and him.

The bed always gets crumby but you don’t care “that’s what the maids for” says JOhn

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He is obsessed with you butt—he’s a butt guy. He loves backing that ass up against his hips anytime of the day, loves you sitting on his lap when he’s at work or at home in the office. Big time butt guy.

Hes so much of a butt guy, he even likes his own ass. He knows he was sculpted by Michelangelo himself and he has likes to show off what god gave him.

When the two of you are home without the kiddos—the both of you are always naked, beauty should not have to be covered up

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

We all know our dear boy john has a massive impregnation kink—he loves knowing his woman is around carrying his seed and making it into a human baby. As such, his favorite thing to do is cum inside of you. He also loves to watch himself spill out of you when its all over so he likes to make sure his woman is filled 😉

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

John is one dirty dirty boy (you’ve seen him smirk right? That smirk is LOADED with dirty filthy secrets)

At dinner with Polly or the rest of the fam—he sneaks one of your hands down to his already hard cock. He thinks hes so suave and that no one notices (but because of that infamous smirk—everyone always knows what is happening but lets him have him moment)

When the two of you were younger, you had sex on Pollys bed (she had a bigger bed so it made sense at the time—it’s a secret you two will keep til your DEATHS)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

John Shelby mates like a bunny rabbit…plenty of experience has been had

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Given how many times you have probably been pregnant (John has like 3 million kids? 3 billion? Ive lost count) Johns fave position is anything from behind (plus that way he gets a perfect view of your tush which as discussed he is obsessed with. Plus, taking you from behind is super convenient

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

He is a goofballTM and sex usually is goofy as well. Because of all the kids you two have had, you cant take time for granted and you often need to be creative because children are literally everywhere and sometimes you don’t even realize it. So sometimes things just get goofy (kids walk in, gotta make quick worl to cover up—and the eventually get them out so yall could finish)

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

John is practically bare down there. He thinks the hair just covers up all that god given beauty so he doesn’t like to keep it around.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

He tries his best to be romantic. He loves you and all that you have done for him so he wants to do his best to make sure he treats you like a QUEEN TM but ya know…life happens and god bless him for having good intentions and ideas but John is not the best at executing them. He tries to be romantic and sweet, but when the time actually comes around there just isn’t any time for romance (all the kiddos running around remember?). But it’s the thought that counts

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

You ALWAYS walk in on him while hes jacking his willy.  The man has got a thousand and 3 kids, and you get busy, he gets it—but he has needs and if hes stressed (because idk…Tommy wants him to kill his teacher or something) he just needs to release some tension (in his balls) and get on with his life

If you catch him in the moment though—you usually throw those kiddies out and help out your man

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Getting you pregnant

ou being pregnant (your tits get almost as big as your ass and as discussed our boy john is a man of the tush)

Fucking you while pregnant—he one kinky guy and he likes the idea of filling you with his seed even when you are currently growing his seed into a human child

He likes doing it in public spaces (especially if Polly is around—he likes to think hes outsmarting her even though she knows everything…she is omniscient…omg shes a godTM  

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The Office because there are no kids at the office, or in the car on the way to the office because that man just has no patience

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you pregnant, seeing you be a mama, stress because his brother is a dick, having a really good meal, getting drunk, a really calming cigar, bashing someones head in, blinding someone, winning some money at the races… basically Johnny is always a horndogTM and everything gets him going.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s too needy and desperate at most times to ever be picky with things to try

That being said, you two have tried some rougher sex but it just wasn’t his thing. Even though hes a blinder and a savage man with his enemies, he doesn’t really like hurting people (especially someone he loves a helluva lot)

Also for some strange reason, you getting close to any of his brothers or blinders just rubs him the wrong way and he does not like it (I wonder why…)

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Giving

Youre a good mama and are nearly always stressed and tired because of all the billions of his kids running around small heath  so Johnny boy likes to take care of his girl and do all the work to show his appreciation

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Because yall never really have that much time, things are usually fast and rough—but not rough rough, just rough because he has like 3 seconds before a kid starts crying and he just gets very vigorous. If the kids are away at Pols, he will tgry his best to make it special—all romantic and slow and sensual and wooowwwwweeeeeee im feeling john rn what is this?

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Pretty much the only way he has sex is with quickies because he has like 651360176 children somewhere

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He is always down to find new and creative ways to get wit chuuu—he needs it because when you have kids you need to get creative and inventive

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Because he usually has so little time, he has trained his body to last as quickly as possible (relax though guys he doesn’t cream in like 0.05 seconds, but it usually takes him less than 7 minutes). BUT he is still a shelby and a frickin horse (not a cavalry horse though mind) so he can go for many many rounds (he just hopes he has the time)

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Before the kiddies he liked very much to use toys on you, especially blindfolds (he really liked to play up the name “peaky blinders”)

But now that kids are a part of your reality, being blinded just isn’t practical because one of the 6142782 kids could sneak in and see any second and you must remain vigilant

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Like I said, John has had to get very creative and that includes a lot of teasing. And in turn you tease him right back

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He is naturally just a very loud and boisterous individual and its hard to contain himself. Given the position you two are usually in during the deed (your back to his chest and he rams you from behind) he usually muffles his moans and groans and screams into the skin of your shoulder or neck.

Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

So we know how John is a massive horndogTM and gets especialluy aroused whenever he sees you be a good mama, but you are the same way with him. John boy is a great dad (your fave pet name for him is Mr. Daddy since he likes to pretend to be a big manTM who can be a dommydaddy even though he really cant bless him)

Seeing John be a great father always gets you reared up and ready for another little Shelby baby

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He thinks he was gods gift to women and there are very visible and anatomical receipts for that belief. He is not only the tallest Shelby brother, but also the biggest

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

So incredibly high because he is a horndogTM and you constantly do things that excite him

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He always stays up just in case you wanna go for another round