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mosoderbergh · 10 days ago

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"And I suppose I had you."

“You were right, you know? You did have me.”

The spirit watches Solas out of Rook’s eyes. No matter how often he asks, it will not leave him. Admittedly, Solas has not asked it to leave in quite a while.

“Is that so?”, he asks.

The spirit smiles Rook’s crooked smile. Its finger traces along the rim of the wine glass Solas absent-mindedly set down in front of it. He has barely touched his own.

“M-hm. Tell me, in all that time you spent scheming my downfall, did you ever consider asking for my help?”

“I should have asked you to help me ensnare and imprison you?”

“How about this: ‘Rook, my regrets are eating me alive while the Evanuris walk free. There are ways to free me, but they require a sacrifice. Mind if we brainstorm some options?’ Would that have been so hard?”

“I did what was necessary.”

“See, you keep saying that. I’m not sure I believe you.”

“You’re entitled to your doubts, I suppose.”

“Wanna know what I think?”

Solas sighs. He does want to know what Rook is thinking. He has a burning need to know how their new home is treating them. Alas, all he has is this spirit of… he is not even sure. Misguided compassion, perhaps. That, at least, is what Solas hopes it is.

Underneath the table, Rook’s foot nudges his ankle, demanding his attention. He tilts his head at the spirit.

“Do tell”, he says, defeated.

“I think we could have figured this out together just fine.”

“I considered all options.”

“Except talking to me. I’m resourceful. You’d be surprised.”

It is too late, he thinks. Rook is in no position to surprise anyone ever again. Solas wonders if they are in pain. He knows he was. It’s no use, this line of thought. He would rather indulge the spirit than lose himself in fresh guilt.

“You would have freed me, then?”, he asks. “If I had confided in you.”

“I’m sure I would have come up with something.”

“And I suppose afterwards, you believe we would have been fast friends.”

“Don’t you?”

Rook’s elbows rest on the table. There is barely an arm’s length between them now. Solas realises he has never seen their face up close. Has never seen them lounging in a chair. Relaxed. Smiling. Of course, he barely knew them at all.

“If I had been free, you would never have trusted me enough to allow for collaboration”, he states, leaning back.

“I travelled with Varric. All I knew about you, I knew from him.” Solas does not wince at the mention of Varric. Not externally, at least. “He thought of you as a friend. He told me you were gentle. Thoughtful. That you saved people. That you cared.” Rook’s lips still curl around a smile, their eyes are still soft. Solas averts his gaze. “The problem was never that I wouldn’t have trusted you. The truth is I admired you. But you know that.”

“Yes.”

“It’s why I was easy to fool.”

“I am sorry”, he says quietly. The disappointment on Rook’s face - the real Rook’s face - is what he sees whenever his mind drifts to them.

“For what you’ve done, yes”, says the spirit, resting Rook’s cheek in the palm of their hand. Solas’ eyes flick to theirs just long enough to take in the warmth of their expression. “I wish you were sorry for your lack of faith in me.”

“It is a question of responsibility, not faith. This was never your fight to begin with.” Rook’s snort ignites familiar irritation in Solas. He sneers at them. “As I fix both my mistakes and yours, you would only feel compelled to stand in my way, were you still here.”

In his anger, Solas faces Rook again - and regrets it immediately. The tenderness in Rook’s eyes is scorching.

“I’ll find a way”, they say. A solemn promise, broken by one more smile. Their leg presses against his. “And once I’m back, you won’t have to be scared. I’ll twist the knife out of your hand every time.”

Solas has no voice to answer them with. He simply stares, engraining each line of their face into his mind so deeply he barely notices when the spirit dissolves in front of him. He stays, alone once more, his eyes still locked on the empty air where Rook sat.

This goes out to @thelighthouse-server for Dreadrook Week!

#dreadrook week 2025 #dreadrook #rook x solas #solas x rook #thelighthouseserver #solas

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5arcasmw · 13 days ago

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i'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies (w.i.p, heavily unedited)

since i couldn't find time to finish anything for dreadrook week, i decided to post two excerpts from a fic i've been working on that shockingly fits the Fade Conversations prompt for dreadrook week by @thelighthouse-server

rook/solas, sfw with mature themes, falling in love, for some background info my rook is a dalish non-binary dreamer who is the adoptive child of warden-commander mahariel and zevran arainai mahariel

-=+=-

“What’s your favorite flower?”

“I’m sorry?”

Carian was lying on their stomach, carelessly playing with the small amount of loose debris on the rocky expanse of the Fade prison’s floor. They weren’t even looking at Solas when they asked. They had simply, entirely out of nowhere, decided to engage the man in conversation. It wasn’t the first time they had done so– broken the long, awkward silence between them with a random question or anecdote– but it had been so long that the sudden noise caused Solas to practically whip himself around to question them.

“What’s your favorite flower? Come on, everyone’s got one, ‘specially someone as ancient as you are.” They continued, kicking their legs back and forth in the air, their skirt flowing with the movement.

“I do not see how my… flower preference currently matters.” Solas responded, calculated and closed-off as ever.

“It doesn’t. I mean, not really. It’s not like there are any flowers blooming around here for us to look at.” They replied, gesturing to the vast emptiness of the Fade. “Still, though, it’d be nice to know. And it’s not like I’d be able to, like, harm you with this information. What am I gonna do, smuggle your favorite flower into my dreams and strangle you with it as a very personal ‘Fuck you’?” Maybe they had thought about that a bit too much, but they digressed. If he answered, it just might be the key to finally worming their way back into his cold, dead, sad, empty, truly depressing, heart.

“My favorite flower has long been extinct. It has been ever since I cast the Veil down and doomed this world to an eternity of pain and suffering.” He lamented. Oh, great. It was going to be one of those nights.

“Yes, yes, we’ve been over this before. You’re responsible for all the bad in the world, everything died because of you, and you’re the only person who can fix it. You still haven’t told me what it is, though.” They annoyedly replied, finally turning their head to see the man standing solemnly across from them.

“...It was called “Athelas” by the People. A shimmering black-purple flower which had the power to cause vivid, almost nonsensical, dreams to those who consumed it, allowing for one to, ironically, more clearly commune with the most ancient of spirits, those who had been alive as long as the world had. Its existence was entirely dependent on the mixture between our two realities. When the Veil fell it, along with every other plant and animal like it, perished.” Solas explained. He looked as if he were worlds away, as if he suddenly found himself transported back into ancient Arlathan, until he remembered that he was the cause of its extinction.

“Wow. Why is everything so depressing with you? I don’t mean that in, like, an antagonistic way, or anything. It’s just… Why do you focus so much on the negative, when you have thousands of more good memories?” They wondered, propping themselves slightly up on their elbows and laying their head on their hands.

“It is hard not to, when you are the cause of an entire world’s suffering.” Alright, now he was just getting insufferable about it.

“Yeah, you’re an asshole, but why focus on that when you’re literally trapped in a prison unable to do anything except twiddle your thumbs and wait for me to come annoy you? Why torture yourself constantly over all the mistakes you made in your life, when you could be thinking of… I don’t know! Literally anything else! Think about cuddling a bunch of puppies in a field, or something!” They blanked, definitely not making something up on the spot. At least they only had the very best of intentions.

“And does that work for you, when you recount your life’s regrets? Do you simply think about small animals until your worries go away?”

“Yes.”

They grinned at him widely, a spark of mischief highlighting their eyes. He stared at them for a moment before letting out a small sigh and rolling his eyes, one of his hands placed at his armored hip. Oh, finally, they were getting somewhere other than complete and utter depression. They liked being depressed as much as the next guy, but Solas clearly had enough brooding for one awkward night.

“You know, you haven’t answered your own question.” Solas interjected, breaking the small silence between them.

“Huh?” They cocked their head.

“What is your favorite flower, Carian?” He asked, almost wickedly so, leaning in across the abyss towards them with a small smile on his face.

“Crystal Grace. One of the only things that made any travel through Orlais worth it. They’re pretty, and I’ve got a penchant for any plant that can be used as medicine.” They replied, a soft smile on their face. Creators, what they’d give to be a scrawny sixteen-year-old again hitching it across southern Thedas with their Mamae and Papí.

“I encountered a few in the Emerald Graves whilst traveling with the Inquisition. I believe one of the other members, Sera, shot one with her bow after accidentally knocking into one of them whilst chatting with the Inquisitor.” Solas described, a similar wistful look on his face.

“She shot it!?” They exclaimed. Who the hell shoots a flower?

“Yes. That was her reaction to many things that came her way. That, or childish pranks.” He explained, his wistful fondness turning into something a bit more… harsh.

“Sounds like you weren’t all that fond of her.”

“At the time, I believed that she was the worst of what our People could be. Apparently, she has grown more in the years since I have seen her, though I highly doubt that a feat of such magnitude could be accomplished.” Wow. Who knew the Dread Wolf was such a gossip? That’s it. This was going to be their new thing.

“Oh, so they’re “our” People now?” They teased, a brow slightly raised.

“I suppose, in this context.”

“You know, you never really talk about what happened during your Inquisition days.” They noted, desperately trying to push the conversation along some more.

“There are many things that I regret from that time. I do not often like to think of it, lest I am reminded of all that I did to them. Hm, it seems as if, during our conversation, I just did, as you said, avoid “torturing myself over all the mistakes I had made, when I could think about literally anything else.’”

“Finally, some progress! I knew you had it in you, you just needed a little push from your favorite Elvhen companion that you’re stuck sharing a mind with.” They beamed, rearranging themselves so that they were sitting upright and facing him, their legs crossed together.

“Perhaps I did.” The Wolf smiled, the first real one they managed to get out of him since their last emotionally vulnerable moment together.

It was a good start.

-=+=-

None of Solas’ horrific stories, warnings, and information from their conversation in the Fade could have prepared them for the absolute shitshow that was Weisshaupt.

Blight hanging down from the ceiling, Wardens being torn apart left and right, and the fact that they managed to escape death’s grasp by a singular hair. It was funny how cruel life was. How, out of all the Evanuris, the most demented, blighted one just so happened to be the only one they truly worshipped. The only one they truly revered. The only one who was branded onto their fucking face.

Don’t even get them started on what the Halla Mother did to her damn Archdemon. If they could have normal dreams, that thing would appear in them for the rest of their mortal life.

After escaping back home and having a quick, fun conversation with the whole team (which was basically just them whining about how incompetent they all were), they didn’t have enough energy left to do anything other than fall onto their bed and into a deep slumber.

Which would’ve been great, had it not been for the ever annoying presence stuck in their head.

“The fall of Weisshaupt reverberated across the Fade. As did the fall of an Archdemon. But, unless I am mistaken, both Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain yet stand.” Solas began as they felt their consciousness slip into the Fade. His hands were clasped behind his back, taking his usual cold, distant, Dread Wolf stance.

“Not in the fucking mood, Solas.” They snapped, turning away from him. Fuck, how hard was it to ask for five minutes of damn peace inside of their own mind?

“You are the one who came here. It is not so incredulous that I was trying to strike up some form of conversation, especially on a topic as important as this.” He said all too plainly, like he hadn’t been inside of them before, wiped their tears away as they came down from their high in his arms. What an ass.

“Like I willingly choose to spend my nights here! I’m tired, Solas. I had a long day of almost dying, Archdemon slaying, people saving, and failing to kill Ghilan’nain. Forgive me for wanting to lick my wounds and rest for a few minutes out of my horrible day!” They shouted. Why couldn’t they have gotten stuck with a nicer ancient God living in their head? Maybe Sylaise would’ve been fun, they could’ve had a tea party and talked shit instead of whatever the hell was going on between them and Solas. They stared at each other from across the rift for a moment, the sudden silence deafening. For a second, they almost thought they saw a flash of pity mark Solas’ face.

“I suppose it would be redundant to ask how you are feeling.” He stated, his voice softer, more familiar than it had been before.

“No shit.” They spat, their arms crossed.

“I have been where you stand before, Carian. Many, many times. You seem to be taking this as a loss, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. You rendered Ghilan’nain mortal. You saved as many people as you possibly could. And, best of all, you and your team escaped with your lives to go on and fight another day. This was a victory, da’len. Do not take it as anything else.” His reassurances cut deep into their soul, especially when he used that particular pet name. They knew what he was doing, using that to get them to open up to him. Luckily for him, they were just vulnerable enough not to care.

“It’s just… It’s not fair! I had everyone I needed, I did every possible thing right, and we still couldn’t kill her! We might not ever get a chance like that again and it’s all fucking– AGH!” They let out a frustrated scream, and, in lieu of anything or anyone to kick, punch, or maim, they grabbed their hair with their hands and fell onto their knees, the impact barely cushioned by their burgundy skirt.

“When has the world ever been fair? To you, to me, to anyone? All one can do is persevere. You and your team did the best you could under impossible circumstances, and the time to slay Ghilan’nain will come again. Of this, I am sure of.”

“Hah. Yeah. We all did the best we could.” They spat. Their rage was lessened by Solas’ words, but it was still there, trying to claw its way out of their beating chest.

“How is your team fairing, after all of this?” He redirected, sensing their frustrations.

“Oh, they’re all fine, besides the fact that they’re all blaming our failure on being distracted.”

“I see.”

“I mean, seriously. I chose them because they were supposed to be the best in their fields, the most powerful people I could find to help me stop the Evanuris. But apparently they couldn’t get over their personal issues for more than five fucking seconds so we could actually, I don’t know, save the damn world!?” They shouted. They knew they weren’t being particularly kind at the moment, but who the hell gave a shit? They had a job to do. They did their part perfectly, so why didn’t everyone else?

“...You do not blame yourself, you blame them.” His eyes widened in realization, and something in his gaze changed as he looked at them.

“No– Yes– I– Fuck! How can they expect me to help with all of their issues, when we have such huge ones staring right at our faces?” Alright, when he said it like that, it kind of made them feel bad. But they were already under so much pressure, they didn’t know if they would be able to handle any more.

“I have a suggestion for how to help, If I may.” Solas added, raising a hand slightly up. They looked at him for a second, trying to analyze his intentions. It seemed like he was being genuine, at least, as much as he could be. They hesitantly nodded in response, signaling for him to keep going.

“I believe that, during this particular mission, you have solely been viewing your team as just that: a team of highly specialized individuals. What may help you, is instead viewing them how you truly do: as your friends. A group of people you have come to, maybe not entirely love, but certainly cherish and care for. If this were in any other situation, would you be so harsh on them? No, you would not. Instead, you would help them, gladly, because if there is one thing that I have learned about you, it is that you care deeply for the well being of others, especially those you call your friends.” His words shot straight into the very fiber of their being. Oh, fuck, he was right. They hated it when he was right. Creators, they have to be one of the worst people in the entire world. They do love their friends! They do want to help them! What was wrong with them?

“...I seriously can’t believe that the Elvhen God of literally betraying everyone just gave me some of the best friendship advice I’ve ever gotten in my entire life.” They replied, their eyes and mouth open wide in shock.

“In truth, it is due to my own wisdom that I have of these situations. You remind me of myself when I was younger. Fueled by a hot, blinding-white rage, blaming everyone and everything, including yourself, for your own misfortunes. I simply… did not want to see you become any more like myself than you already are.” He explained, his voice softening.

“Well, that’s a horrifying thought. I really hope the rage and the baldness aren’t hand-in-hand, because I cannot deal with that, too.” They teased, slipping back into their all-time favorite coping mechanism: humor. The edges of Solas’ mouth twitched up in a would-be smile, a small chuckle releasing from his throat. Oh, they did love to make him laugh.

“Shit, now I feel really bad for saying and… thinking all of that stuff about my friends.” They sheepishly admitted, rubbing one of their arms with their hands, their eyes darting across the prison.

“Your feelings do not define you. How you act on them does. Instead of bottling it up and unleashing your frustrations onto them, you shared them with me and worked past them. You have nothing to be sorry for, for you have done exactly what you are supposed to.” Oh. He really was helping, huh? They felt a familiar warmth begin to unfurl in their chest, and their cheeks were dusted with the slightest hint of pink, something unable to be seen from as far away as Solas was. He was good at that, making them feel better, he almost always was, the rare moments they came to him with vulnerability. Maybe they really were getting through to him after all.

“Besides, it is better for them to believe that you have always had the utmost faith in them. This will make not only your personal relationships with them stronger, but your working relationship as a team. The more loyalty that you instill in them, the more they will follow you wherever you may lead, even to their deaths, if needed be.” He instructed, his posture straightening.

Nevermind.

“What– Solas, did we not just have a talk recently about the whole depressing shit? I’m not going to order anyone to die for me.” They sputtered out. Shit, couldn’t this guy let one good moment stay that way? Who the hell hurt him so badly that “sacrifice all of your friends” was a smart move to play?

“You may not need to. Under the correct circumstances, they will volunteer to.”

“And now I’m starkly seeing the differences between us. There is always another way, Solas. I’m sorry if all your wisdom and years of experience never taught you that.”

“Perhaps you are right. Ir abelas, I should not have brought this up now. I only wish for you to be prepared, if that day shall ever come.” He explained. Creators, if this was his way of showing that he cared about them, he was doing it the entirely wrong way.

“Well, it won’t, so we’re never talking about it again! So, uh, now that the whole Weisshaupt thing is over… where do you think we should go from here?” They redirected, desperate for him to stop talking about his whole death crusade.

“You slayed Ghilan’nain’s Archdemon; a most grievous insult that neither she nor Elgar’nan can ignore. If you continue on this path, say, by opposing their minions, they will have no choice but to come to you, instead.” Great. More people to kill. For once, can’t they just thwart their enemies by a nice conversation over a drink?

“You really think I can goad them into making a mistake?” They asked, a quizzical expression on their face.

“Oh, Carian. I have absolute faith in your ability to aggravate enemies who should know better than to underestimate you.” He huffed, a small laugh escaping him, paired with an even smaller smile. He titled his head at them, his canines just barely visible from his mouth. They let out a laugh– a giggle, if they were being honest– and smiled back at him. The tension momentarily lifted from their shoulders, they plopped themselves down on the edge of the endless chasm between them, their legs slightly swinging.

“Sooo… seems like we’re still going to be in here for a while. How about we play I Spy?” They suggested, their soft smile suddenly turning more devious.

“Please, no, not again.”

“Too late! I Spy with my little eye something… grey!”

“No.”

#solrook #dreadrook #datv fanfic #dreadrook week 2025 #thelighthouseserver #rooklas #my rook #my fic #wip #solas #solas dragon age #rook #rook dragon age #dragon age #dragon age the veilguard #dragon age veilguard

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