#There is definitely a ginzura slant

[zurajanaizurakoda]

I assume no one will read this, but the fanfic I'm working on is going to be more author notes than fanfic and I'm highly invested in Katsura as a character at the moment so I thought I would post my feelings about Katsura and disassociation here. (Mild Ginzura)

EDIT: I think I'm confusing fugue state with catatonic.

I very strongly headcanon that Katsura has dissociative states that can get to fugue state, and there’s not a lot of evidence but hear me out.  When Sensei is beheaded, he doesn’t react, like at all.  And I know it’s because the scene is supposed to be about Gin and Takasugi and Katsura is on standby as much as he possibly can be while still being in the scene, but it’s telling.  He doesn’t even cry, which is odd because he cries early and often, even in serious scenes.  During the battle at Eiroku, he cries simply because he and Gin lived through a battle.  I feel like when he realized what was happening he just went away when he realized he couldn't do anything.

Second piece is in the second movie where he’s facing execution, and he does literally nothing.  Definitely not arguing for fugue, he does react to his surroundings, for instance he watches Gin come up with the sword with at best mild interest.  (And this is a man who is a six foot penis dressed as his dead boyfriend running past security to take his head personally, you’d think it would be worthy of a reaction)  This is literally Runaway Kotarou, it’s essential enough to his character that he’s famous for it.  He escaped from jail in a week when he was a giant screwdriver.  It doesn’t come up much, but every time he’s been captured he’s escaped.  Suddenly he spends five years in a jail cell and then goes to his execution without a word.  I feel like he was living in some form of dissociative state for most, if not all the five years.  Once he realized that the world was broken in a way he had no skills to fix and realized he was useless and he just shut down.  I feel like Katsura’s sanity hinges on his ability to feel like he serves a purpose. Also, of course, he apparently talks about destroying this wretched world but the first thing he says to Gin is how disappointed he is in himself for not being able to save the world when Gin apparently failed. Unlike the execution scene, he actually displays a good deal of emotion when recounting the last time he saw Gin, almost crying. (One might even say it's implying that unlike his own death, which made no difference to him either way, he genuinely regrets Gin's death, but that's just me)

The third one is a good one!  After Nizou cut him down he played dead, meaning he was unresponsive enough that Nizou assumed he was dead and left him as a corpse.  When they discuss it later, Takasugi comments that he’s getting better at playing dead, implying that Katsura becoming unresponsive during battles has been a recurring theme in the past.  Katsura replies that the fault was Nizou’s, implying that he didn’t assign his survival to any conscious action on his part, it just happened like that.  Knowing he was about to die (and since it’s Katsura, the fact that he’s dying alone and possibly by the orders of one of his few friends in the world are probably factors in that) is enough to make him go away for a while.  I imagine in battle it would be useful, their battlefields tended to be piled high with corpses and it’s likely most soldiers wouldn’t go through them looking for survivors.  I feel like it’s highly possible that on at least one occasion his friends thought they were pulling a Katsura corpse out from under a pile of amanto, only to realize he’s alive and just left for a while.  Probably scared the shit out of them, and not just the first time.

The last thing is just a little one, but when he’s Zura he seems to turn off or at least greatly dull his pain reception.  He definitely seems to still be in the moment and aware of himself, but he’s consciously ignoring signals coming from his body.  Just noting that it’s something he does.

If you're into Ginzura, consider reading Big Spoon! It's not the fic this rant inspired, and it may be not the best characterizations but it's my favorite fic of mine. Gin and Zura sleeping big spoon/little spoon style when life gets too shitty starting in childhood, and eventually getting so many feels.

OH YEAH maybe not relevant but he sleeps with his eyes open and it seems like that's another indicator that he can just leave, five senses be damned.