#This is a joke i do not want venture bros getting popular ever

[garyfischy]

Ventureheads we need to make this show popular again. Quick get south park obsessed 14 year olds to watch it. Yaoibait!!!!

[totmatsu]

Because I just finished watching the full dub (Before, I'd only ever seen clips) here are my thoughts:

It's pretty good for a dub, all things considered. I do have some little qualms, but its highs are high and its really funny from time to time.

-Maybe its the lack of titles (Niisan, -chan applied to self for some sextuplets or to Ichimatsu by Osomatsu) or just the fact that I've been mentally ill about the show since 2016 and that is heavily influenced (obviously) by the original voices, but the sextuplets feel less close in the dub. This isn't something I can point out that many specific examples of, it's just an overall feeling.

-This is a problem that I think a lot of dubs probably have, but the dub doesn't like to let serious moments be. They often toss a joke in during moments that were previously solemn, either pre-punchline solemn moments or just normal ones where there's some amount of build up to it. Because I like the original, this feels bad from an artistic intent standpoint.

-Characters say things they did not or would not say in the original audio, which is something that also would naturally happen in a dub and I understand this, but at times it felt like low-hanging fruit (easiest example I can think of is when Ichimatsu says he's going to go jerk off to cat porn or something. I don't remember the specific dialogue, it was in the Ichimatsu and Choromatsu skit)

-While at times slang is used well, at other times it just seems strange and is like. No one talks like this. Like the amount of times they say "for reals" out loud is insane.

-Jyushimatsu is played as sillier and stupider than he originally was. This was kind of the biggest bummer for me since as a Venture Bros fan when they had announced the dub casting I was SO hype at Jyushimatsu's voice being the voice of Dean Venture, and he does a really good job, but I don't like the way the character's been written all that much...

Basically each voice actor/actress did a fantastic job but some of the localization decisions (that often feel typical of dubs) were just not the right call for me personally.

Some of the dub's best moments are these really simple things where a character just goes "Okay" or "Alright" instead of tsukkomi'ing, I actually liked that a lot (easy examples: In the car in the second episode, Choromatsu just goes "Okay" instead of "Who are you?" and the delivery is fantastic; When walking Jyushimatsu (in "Tell Us, Hatabou"), Ichimatsu is like "...and you're alright with this?" and Jyushimatsu is immediately like "OH YEAH" so quickly its really funny, and then theres a pause and Ichimatsu just goes "...alright.")

Anyway Totty fan moment, they changed his middle school essay to be more queer and I like it lol

"I want to be a cheerleader, by Todomatsu" Todomatsu: NO, WAIT! THIS IS WAY TOO HELLISH! STOP IT! "Cheerleaders are pretty. Cheerleaders are popular. Cheerleaders get to wear skirts and carry pom-poms around." Todomatsu: I WAS JUST A KID! EVERY KID SAYS THAT! HEHEH RIGHT? HEH? "I want to talk about boys with the other girls" Todomatsu: IT WAS JUST A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION!!! "And then in the evenings, we could sing campfire songs together" Todomatsu: OH COME ON THATS ENOUGH! "And, best of all, I'd look forward to shaving my legs-" Todomatsu: Oh this can't be happening "and feeling the breeze going up my skirt." Todomatsu: So I got a little curious! So what! All kids do! Nothing weird about THAT!

All this said, while I think it'd be cool to see the movie(s) or season 3 dubbed, I'm not sure what they'd do about Osomatsu's voice (Rest in peace, Billy Kametz). I'm cynical and I think if they thought enough money was in it, they'd probably recast, but I don't know.

[adultswim2021]

The Venture Bros. #17: “Hate Floats” | July 2, 2006 - 10:30PM | S02E02

The serialization continues as the show deals with the fallout from the end of season one. “Hate Floats” is yet another jam-packed, but a little more tightly-plotted than the last one. I did not particularly remember this one fondly, except for the great opening scene. I'm taking it all back! This one is really wonderful. It's just not terribly specific.

The plot, she is this: First we start out with 21 & 24 getting a call from the Monarch, who informs them that they are to get the Monarch's floating cocoon/secret lair operational and staffed with henchmen. They are so excited to be back henching that they gloss over the Monarch's death threat ultimatum and gleefully do exactly what he asked, filling out the rest of the henchmen with some real hood style gangstas if you know what I'm saying. For some reason I misremembered this as being day-laborers, but that’d probably be more of a Minoriteam joke. But that part comes later, anyway. The opening segment actually ends with 21 & 24 doing a dramatic rendition of some meaningful super-villain theme song by going “dun dun dun”. It's so charming and fun. It's one of the best scenes they ever did, damn!

Meanwhile: Hank and Dean are back! They pop out of their learning beds and are immediately greeted with birthday cake like they're Frosty the Snowman and shit. I mean, the birthday part not the cake. Frosty never got cake. Good shirt idea. Please, more people like and enjoy me so I can make/sell that shirt. Please nobody steal this idea. Just... just fucking wait a few months for this blog to become wildly popular and then if you want you can e-mail and let me know you were one of those people who was nice about not stealing my shirt idea and I’ll hook you up with some free ones. Anyway, this episode also marks the first instance of clone-lore being extended past the “get us out of a series cliffhanger jam” gaggery of it all, by having the henchmen surprise react to Hank and Dean being still alive after they killed them. This bit does come back in the series.

So the episode is actually about the Monarch trying to forcibly win back Dr. Girlfriend by ambushing her and Phantom Limb at the mall. They run into the Ventures, who wind up in the cross-fire. There's a squirmy gag where Dr. Venture's eyeball pops out of it's socket and is dangling. What winds up happening is everyone gets split up and forms an uneasy alliance; the gangsta henchmen take over the cocoon and throw the Monarch, 21, & 24 into the Monarch's jail cell. Brock winds up with Phantom Limb, who nurses Brock back to health after being shot at the mall and asks him to help get his girlfriend back, claiming that the Monarch kidnapped the entire Venture family. Dr. Girlfriend steals Brock's car with Hank and Dean along for the ride. Everyone has it out, and boy it's a lotta fun.

References? Yes! There's many! This one has “fly casual” from Star Wars, which I somehow recognized as a reference but didn't know it was from Star Wars until I looked it up. Hank psyches himself up by saying “you can do it, Duffy Moon”, which is a reference to a very charming made-for-TV after-school special about a geeky kid who starts using the power of positive thinking and thinks he has super powers because of it through a series of comical coincidences. I recommend seeking it out if you like 70s-era after school stuff, it's a really good one. No, really, it's fun! There's also a Turk 182 reference, a movie I've only ever seen the trailer for if I'm being honest. Why haven't I seen Turk 182 by now? It's the exact kind of movie I like. Am I waiting for Kino Lorber to release it on blu-ray? Should I hold out for a 4K UHD? Can I just watch it on Criterion Channel already?

The DVD commentary is great, because they say “gay” and “retarded” in it, and you know daddy like/is easily impressed by unbleeped slurs. Speaking of potentially problematic content: there's also some jokes about Dr. Girlfriend possibly being a dude from Brock, who keeps grilling Phantom Limb about her anatomy, and suggesting that she must be a post-op M to F transsexual. I'm not tattling, I just think it's interesting that it's what could be the show's most obvious joke and they only really touched on it rarely. Also I think it's perfectly in line for Brock to be wary of stuff like that. It's character stuff, dude! CHILL OUT! Anyway, this run yielded a very funny line, when Phantom Limb says something like: “I've explored every supple inch of her and found nothing but nectar”. Made me laugh! Never really noticed that line before. Now you know about it.

MAIL BAG

Rick and Morty?! That high!?!?

Honestly, yes.

[maxwell-grant]

any thoughts on james bond??

Not really a fan and I don’t think that’s gonna change. I don’t have much experience with the character to begin with, I watched the Daniel Craig movies which bored me to death. I watched Goldfinger, which I remembered as being fun the first time I viewed it as a kid, but I find it hard to stand as an adult because Sean Connery was an awful man and oh yeah, that’s also the movie where James Bond rapes someone (I get that it was supposed to be a slap-slap-kiss thing but that is very much not what it’s in the scene). And I read the original Casino Royale novel, which is a must-read largely for it’s importance in pop culture and has some interesting aspects to it but, again, nothing that really got me to seek out the character.

Look, I get why Bond has become this huge cultural institution and the spy of popular fiction ever since his debut, why the 60s was the era of “Bond, Beatles and Batman” and why he’s kinda become the new standard for non-superhero action protagonists. I am extremely fond of that particular style you see in media like The Incredibles and Team Fortress 2, and that style owes a lot of it to the Bond films, hell I just posted above a screencap of Venture Bros, my favorite cartoon series. I’m certainly not gonna knock on popular enjoyment of a morally dubious man of action in a slick suit who charms and shoots his way through problems, after writing my most popular posts on my unabashed worship of Vincenzo. 

The things I like the most about Bond’s character in Casino Royale and the Bond of the original novels are largely the ways in which he almost betrays the impossibly competent image he’s been set up with later. I like that he gets picked specifically just because he’s the Service’s best gambler and not because he's the best everythint, I like that he’s uncomfortable with killing and especially the targeted assassinations, I like that he has vices and struggles because of his job. His job kinda forces him to be by default an unfeeling asshole who exploits people, and I think that’s an interesting perspective to develop, even without the context of it being James Bond before “being James Bond is the coolest thing ever” was the driving thesis of the franchise.

Thing is, I never really found any reason to give a damn about anything in Bond, other than enjoyment of the stylistic trappings and absurdities which just get kinda old after a while. I don’t enjoy the titular character or the hordes of largely one-dimensional "Bond Girls”, I don’t think the villains are interesting despite their supposed reputation in pop culture, I don’t get that much enjoyment out of death traps and car chases and gun fights if I don’t have anything at all to care about in the situations. I don’t think characters inspired by Bond tend to be interesting and even Bond parodies have gotten largely old and stale (I do like Johnny English but that’s solely because Rowan Atkinson is my favorite comedian and I’ll watch him in anything, and even then I didn’t even remember there was a third film).

As a kid, the idea of being a secret agent in service of the government has never really been terribly appealing to me, and as an adult it appeals even less. I don’t entirely dislike government agent characters by default, I really like Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks and An Gi-Seok from Vincenzo and agents of fictional organizations like Hellboy’s BRPD and Carmen Sandiego’s ACME, but I can’t shake off the stink of imperialism off my perception of Bond in particular. Again, I know it’s fiction, I know I talk about morally dubious protagonists I love all the time, but it’s the fact that Bond is so closely tied to his role as a government-sponsored murderer, my disdain for real-life governments and secret services being depicted in fiction as a swell and cool thing and not at all what they actually are, and the fact that I do not find Bond at all convincing or interesting enough for me to overlook that and buy into the fantasy, all blends together to make me dislike him.  

And yeah, Ian Fleming had utterly wretched views on gender and race and that bleeds a lot into the stories. People knock on pulps for racism and sexism a lot, and it's not undeserved, but even then I’ve seldom read anything in them as appallingbas the kind of shit you get on the Bond novels, and it’s harder to separate those from the character when so much of it is framed as the thoughts and opinions and attitudes of the character to the world around him. I would still not like James Bond even if I could put aside all the racism and sexism, and I very much cannot, but the fact that they are there, atop everything else, atop the character being an actual rapist at worst and his most iconic actor being unabashedly proud of being a wife beater and somehow still remembered fondly as a pop culture badass, and you end up with the one time Alan Moore did a comically grotesque exaggeration of a character in LOEG and I thought “you know what, I acknowledge that this is overblown and stupid and immersion-breaking but fuck it, I can’t blame you for your thoughts on this particular character manifesting with such bile”.

I know there’s good stuff in James Bond novels and films, I know why the character is super iconic and popular, please don’t misconstrue anything I’m saying as me thinking James Bond fans are horrible or something, because I don’t want to get that across at all. But I personally do not like Bond, and I don’t think I have to force myself to when there’s so many other types of characters and even spies that I prefer so much more. I don’t think I’m ever really going to be a Bond fan (I do like Timothy Dalton as an actor though, and if Sam Neil ever got to play Bond like he auditioned for, I probably would have at least some affection for the character since I really like him). 

I do like Austin Powers also. A lot of the jokes have aged really poorly and apparently Mike Myers is kind of an ass on set, but I think the concept of the eternally outdated parody spy still works, the films still have pretty funny scenes, and most importantly, he spoofed the concept to death so hard that even Daniel Craig said “Mike Myers fucked us”. Austin sucked out and absorbed all the fun parts of James Bond and then made them so funny and ridiculous that the Bond franchise has never again been able to have too much fun with itself, and if I gave a shit about Bond I would probably dislike that, but I don’t so, you go Austin. 

[popculturebuffet]

Top 13 Venture Bros Episodes!

In honor of it’s recent passing I take a look at the best episodes of easily one of the best adult animated, or animated period, shows ever and one of my faviorites. Join me as I look back on Grand Galactic High  Inquistors, Venturestiens, ninja filled first dates, Noir, super science garage sales and much more under the cut, and GO TEAM VENTURE!

As I said in the teaser.. the Venture Bros is one of my favorite shows of all time. Starting way back in 2003, the show created by Jackson “Christopher Mculloch” Publick and from mid season 1 onwards cowritten, plotted and what have you by his best friend and creative soulmate Doc Hammer, the show enjoyed a healthy 17 year run on adult swim, making it the longest standing show and despite the years of hiatuses between episodes it’s most popular till Rick and Morty came around. The show endured through changing trends in animation, network shifts and scabies until it’s recently announced, though apparently having happened months ago, cancellation.  I watched the show from the start, sneaking it as a boy and by my teen years watching it every week online through Adult Swim’s website and lapping up every episode, becoming a huge fan in the process and continuing my huge love of the series through the rest of it’s life, breifly forgetting to watch season 6 but getting back to it weekly for the 7th, and currently unless adult swim does indeed find a way to bring it back, final season. This show has been a part of my life since it started, and a part of me for slightly less long: it informed my sense of humor, probably informed my comics taste in ragtag groups consiting of lesser known characters, and informed me david bowie existed for which my life will ever be better.  It was a part of me and while I gave it a breif memorial earlier I felt after my long content hiatus due to my moven to another room, and for the 1 of you reading this who reads my amphibia weekly coverage it’ll be back shortly, that honoring a show that gave me so much and made me who I am, in a good way I know i’m kind of a mess so that statment could be seen as a threat in some states, by diving into my faviorite episodes of it and the ones I honeslty consider i’ts finest half hours.. or hours in two cases but we’ll get to that. 

For now it’s time to have your ro-bo pour you a red mocho cooler, slap on your vintage batman mask, and eat some pennies quizboys, this is my top 13 venture bros episodes. Pitter Patter!

13. It Happening One Night (Season 6, Episode 6) 

Season 6 had a huge burst of fresh energy and ideas: Doc and Jackson moved the show to New York for a number of reasons: To shake things up, because they lived there and thus could inject the energy of a city they loved in and because one of the series biggets inspriations is marvel comics, as seen by the sheer number of marvel parodies and homages in comparison to dc or other superhero outlets, so having New York be the big hub for superhero and villian activity in the ventureverse was a no brainer. This also moved the ventures from an isolated corner of the Ventureverse on their old compound, which burned down in the gargantua 2 special, right into the heart of it, bringing in tons of new characters to the already large cast. Not only that but it thrust our heroes and villian protaganists both into new and intresting situations: Doctor Venture was suddenly rich and running his own think tank with white and billy. Dean was going to college, Hank found a love intrest in Serena, more on that obviously in a second, Brock returned to the team proper as bodyguard once more, while the Monarch grappled with both his father being a hero and his wife being promoted and their marraige hitting choppy waters. It had great new characters like warina and serena, brought fan faviorite brown widow in if not as much as i’d like frankly, but there’s always room for nathan fillion, and freshened things up a bit.  Granted one of Venture Bros biggest strengths was it didn’t have the rigid status quo, or entire lack of any continuity a lot of animated shows at the time and even now have, that things changed and evolved and the universe was dense as it was wonderful. But here instead of just moving the pieces around the board and maybe slapping on some new coats of pait, they threw the board up and put the pieces on an enitrley new one. However all this experimentation did nick the show a little: while it was a step up from the rather standard outside of Dean’s plot Season 5 (which not concendtially is the only season not represented here), it also felt like the plots were a bit looser and some characters like Dermott and Dr. Orpheous, one of whom had a huge untouched subplot and the other who was a beloved fan faviorite and fixture of the show since season 1, got left out all together. It was a decent season it just felt lacking at times, and the Monarch and Shielda’s relationship disolving wasn’t at all fun to watch and thankfully got resolved next season. And that was the other problem: Due to wanting to give their big epic finale the room it needed and only having 8 episodes to work with due to the special, they had to move it to next season which meant it just sorta.. ended with most things left unresolved till season 7. Thankfully for me I didn’t get around to watching this season till close to 7, but for everyone else they had to wait YEARS for a proper resolution. It was  a mixed bag of a season, the mass changes leading to growing pains, but it had it’s moments. And naturally our one season 6 representivie here is it’s finest. 

It Happening One Night juggles two diffrent but equally awesome plots. In the first Hank goes on his first date with Serena, their new next door neighbor and daughter of big villain in town, new councilman and combination of kingpin and tobias whale, Wide Whale. Serena was one of the best additions to the series, voiced by a game Cristini Miloti, she’s a no nonsense girl with a sharp tounge, an annoyance with her father and his number 2 rocko’s overprotectivness of her and gills and meshes well with hank: Her no nonsense and more down to earth attitude compliments his up int he clouds weirdness and lack of reality really well and the two were cute together. Were... while they’d do.. things I did not like.. with her character next season, for this one she’s great and a fine addition and it was nice to give one of the boys a proper love interest, while also having her be her own person. Sure all her plots centered around hank.. but she still felt like a fully realized addition to the cast and given this was over a decade in with so many great members it wasn’t an easy task.  The date is paticuarlly hank as he has a carraige (his air car) ready, has dean chauffer them, has Billy and White show up as street toughs to challenge him to a dance off and dinner is at a ninja themed restraunt Dean’s friend Jared, aka brown widow, works at. It’s really adorable and charming stuff, and the two genuinely bond, and Hank gets some good character stuff. He genuinely worries Serena is only intrested to piss off her dad.. but fins she likes him for who he is: his charm, his lack of fear, and the fact he went so far for a romantic gesture he had his friends dress up as street toughs, or the hank venture idea of one anyway, and get into a dance off just to impress. her. it’s really good stuff. The Ninja themed restraunt is also both hilarious and apparently a very real thing the creators actually toned down. I’m unsuprised by all of this. The two also dodge their bodyguards, Brock and Rocco and share a romantic kiss underwater leading to the above. It’s a really good plot and the easy reason why I put it on here and defintely a review cantidate.  The other plot however is just pure comedy and invention. While the Monarch works on his plan to use his dad’s blue morpho guise to take out the other arches on his way to venture, Venture is plauged by the utterly bizzare and utterly delightful Doom Factory: A combination of Andy Warhol and his hangers on and the legion of doom... yes this actually happened. While I know nothing of Warhol and thus a lot of it flew over my head, it’s made up for by the sheer joyous lunacy of having the art school version of the legion of doom arch rusty by invading his house, throwing a party and taking various pictures of him in his underwear. The one mistep of the episode is them getting blown up at the end despite being great, but their one apperance was a treat, and it was such a great and bizzarely speific parody I couldn’t help but love it. It was a good night indeed. 

12. Tag Sale, You’re It! (Season 1, Episode 6 (10 in airing order) Season 1 of The Venture Bros is a bit rocky. It’s not unusual for season 1′s but it’s understandable, espcesially now i’ve read Go Team Venture!: The Art of the Venture Bros, the art book for the series as well as a full on making of for seasons 1-6, and know the team was under immense crunch to get the season done and is likely the reason every season after had a few years between them. But yeah at the start the series was more of a broad comedy, with the characters being the simiplest versions of their characters, the boys in paticular only having “jock and nerd” as things that defined them as seperate people early on and it took a bit for things to come together. However things really started to crystalize into what the show would truly be with two episodes. One we’ll get to later but the other is this one: Tag Sale Your It.  Tag Sale started one of my faviorite recurring themes for the series: Venture Compound Episodes. Basically their episodes where a huge pile of the shows cast get together at the venture compound for whatever reason and chaos, great jokes and great worldbuilding inveitbly insues. It’s good stuff. And it’s usually centerted around a great concept.  In this case all the villians and heroes of the world are gathering at the Venture Compound for of all things, a Garage Sale. Or Tag Sale as it’s called in the title or Yard Sale as Venutre himself calls it. In order to make a quick buck and get rid of some of his dad’s excess scientific wonders, Rusty’s sellling them off to whatever weirdo wants em. it’s an utterly hilarious concept, with Brock complaning about the security risk and the fact Doc is entirely convinced this won’t go horribly wrong despite the fact he has a bargin bin for death rays, one of my faviorite gags of the episode. But there’s still plenty of sense here too: There’s what i’m presuming are OSI agents on standbye, who also screen the various villians to have them check their weapons. 

The episode also opens the cast up considerably introducing Phantom Limb, and fleshing out Billy and Pete, as well as being the episode where two of the casts standouts came into their own as 21 and 24 go off on their own misadventur where 21 uses the monarchs money to buy what turns out ot bea non working lightsaber and tries to fight brock in one of the best scenes of the episode.  Speaking of the Monarch, . The Monarch himself is there to cause miscihief, as usual, as well as have his minons buy him some stuff because he’s not going to miss a bargin, and finds himself struggling to get his hate boner up in a neat subplot, eventually acheiving it even if it gets him stuck to the celing However the other two subplots really shine. Orpheous in a micro plot, and after yelling at Dr. Venture for trying to sell the weed wacker he borrowed from Oprheous, tries to get his own nemisis, a thread that would continue at the end of the season and into the next, having a ghost slap the monarch ot try and get him to become Orpheous arch and telling various villians he’s blasting who they can blame if they want to swear vegnance. It’s short but really funny.  The other however is my faviorite and the plot that really set up hank’s bizzarely and uniquely him personality, which would be expanded on more as the show went on. Annoyed that their dad is selling their old things and getting the money, Hank decides to get him and Dean a piece of the action and sets up his own grinder and lemonade stand, Hank Co, starting the sparkling runner of his bizzare personal buisness, and while the lemonade stand is standard kids stuff, the added oddly specific addition of grinders is what makes it hank as is his oddly agreesive managment style. Dean ends up working for him alongside HELPEr, while Dean awkwardly talks up Orpheous daughter triana. More on that whole thing in a later entry, with Triana joining in. It’s just a fun side bit that ends hilariously as, when the sale cascades into an orgy of violence as it was always destined to, the rest of the team book it while Hank definatly refuses to get knocked down before a shoe hits him. 

IT’s a damn fun time that sets up the backbone of the show’s universe. Nuff Said. 

11. Pinstripes and Poltergeists (Season 4, Episode 8)  Season 4 is easily my faviorite season hands down, and in my opinion the best, in part helped by the fact it’s the longest and thus had the most time to work on it. Like season 6, if on a smaller scale, it threw up the table. While Season 2 and 3 had status quo changes, the Monarch being on his own without the guild or dr girlfriend and then the newly married couple being forced to arch eleswhere this one had probably the biggets shakeups: Brock Sampson left team venture, and was MIA for all but two episodes of the first half, Sgt. Hatred took over as boydguard a move that wasn’t one of there best as while Hatred could be funny at times.. replacing one of the show’s most beloved and most iconic characters with a reformed pedophile who fans already didn’t like all that much in season 3 wasn’t one of Jackson and Doc’s smarter moves let’s be honest. Again he has his moments, but he just wasn’t as compelling or well fleshed out as the rest of hte main cast, helper included.  The other big swing, one admitted in the making of art book that was an intentional risk, was killing off 24, half of the beloved buddy duo of 21  and 24. However this one paid off way better, as 21, while still a husky dork who loves his crappy job, reinvented himself in the wake of hte tragedy, turning a lot of his blubber into muscle (And I say that as a chub myself, so relax), and becoming the badass drill seargent of the cocoon.  But both big changes expertly dovetailed into this episode which explains where brock was after the premiere. The ball gets rolling when the Monarch goes to see Monstroso, a great addition to the series and the sum of all evil lawyer jokes, a lawyer in a pinstripe suit and small devil hood who makes deals with other supervillians, in this case to buy up part of the venture compound to take it from Rusty.   Naturally making a deal with a lawyer super villian who dresses like the devil, every bit of that sentence a red flag, goes poorly. As Shiela points out in one of the series best lines as she berates her husband’s terrible decision making “Monstro’s a lawyer that’s also a super villian. That’s like a shark with a rocket launcher strapped to his head, and the monstroso plans to take the monarch’s stuff as well. It falls to 21 to stop him and 21 is on the venture compound to find our missiing sampson and get answers on who killed his best friend, whose also following him around possibly as a ghost/hallucination.  Speaking of Brock, when exploring a shack on the edge of the property to use it for stuff, Rusty finds instead the base for SPHINX, consiting of Hunter Gathers (Who I hope gets to retransition someday), gay icon Shore Leave, and Brock Himself. Turns out Brocks literally been right there, SPHINX Just needed to stay secret and the pain of not being able to see the boys has seriously hurt brock. And naturally this deal will impact spinix, so they send brock to deal with it.  This leads to the best part of the episode as the above episode gets a callback as 21 challenges brock to a fight.. and to show how far he’s come, instead of becoming a bloody pile on the lawn, fights EVENELY with brock freaking sampson. After it’s confirmed brock has nothing to do with it and 21 and him have wiggle room to operate, the two go after monstroso who next we see needs heart surgery so mission acomplished. This episode is light on jokes, apart from a great one where rusty tells the boys everything before mindwiping them, but good on character stuffs as we find out where Brocks been, meet some good new supporting cast and see just how far 21′s come, and close out the first half of a stellar season iwth a great scene of Brock eating cereal, finally allowed to be part of his family again.

10. Viva Los Muertos! (Season 2, Episode 11)  Season 2 was easily where the show hit it’s stride. While Season 1 is going through growing pains Season 2 has all the setup, half planned ideas and what not mostly out of the way to just focus on building up the world, and characters as well as playing around with things and having the first instance of the show’s refusal to have a set status quo by having the Monarch’s breakup iwth Shiela stick until the end of the season. More on that later. However some experimentation still happened as something that would likely NEVER happen from this point on happened.  See the Venture Bros is very much Jackson and Doc’s baby. While Jackson created it, Doc because just as important and the two share one giant geeky brain. WHile they may argue on some things, the two still agree on most stuff and thus the project has their unified vision of this weirdly specific superhero universe that’s mainly focused on what would be prehriay characters leftover from a one time genre experiment and supervillians. While the staff on the show clearly enjoyed working on it far as I can tell an dare celebrated in the making of when credit’s do, the writing and worldbuilding is on two guy’s shoulders, an absolute rarity in animation let alone of a project with this gorgeous and detailed animation. But for three episodes the two did let someone in.. it’s just someone who not only got exactly what htey were going for but was their friend and mentor who helped nurture their talents on the tick. Ben Edlund. If you haven’t heard of Ben first off shame on you and second, he’s the creator of the Tick, writing the original comics series and having a major hand in all three series, all of which are unsuprisingly stellar, and having brought jackson and doc on board for 2/3 of them, likely only not bringing them to the Amazon one because by this point they’d far outgrown being writters on someone elses show.  He also created supernatural and left long before it became a tire fire so there’s that. I need to watch that sometime. Point is he’s a big deal and helped write two episodes and wrote this one Solo. And this one is easily the best of the three and given it’s on this list one of the series best.  The episode has Doc have another great idea in the Zack Morris with mad scientest abilities veign he always have: Take the parts of one of hte monarch’s dead henchman, as brock tends to leave piles around, into a “Venturestein’ and sell it to the goverment. While the simple man bonds with the boys, he cowers in fear of brock, who is forced to grapple with his violent nature and deeds and goes to Orpheous spirtial gathering fors some perspective. It’s a nice subplot that has some character development before a spirit vision of hunter gathers convinces him he can’t get caught up in killing people when it’s hwat he goods at. Brock meets him halfway, deciding he can’t feel entirely guilty but he can help the guy and gets Venturestein some “prostitoots!” he’s been wanting since apparnelty the henchman he was made out of really liked htem.  The concept of venturestein himself is neat, from the idea of reusing old henchman to him using the boys learning beds to learn about the third world and be indocrinated for third world labor, as was Doc’s orginal plan.  The other plot which dovetalls into venture steins is another great one as The Groovy Gang, the show’s answer to mystery inc arrives. And in a great idea by Edlund.. their all based on various serial killers, with leader ted being baised on ted bundy and being unerviing as he speaks cherfully while threanting the rest of hte gang, the shaggy stand in being a stand in for the son of sam and the only one that can hear groovy talk who rather than be an adorable dog, talks like a nightmarish german man, the daphne standin is clearly kidnapped and the velma one valries acts like valrie solanis. It’s creepy stuff but it’s also funny because theys till include hannah barbara sound effects, including when Venturestein in a ptsd fueld rage kills ted, not-shaggy and groovy> It’s a horrible but great scene and a great concept that just works. They also tie in the boys being clones by having it revealed one of their deaths was caused by Sonny, finalylr emembered his name, and Ted wanting to kill them. The boys end up finding their clones too, but Doc spins them a yarn to get by and is kept from kiling them. Not much to say, outside of brocks bit this isn’t huge on character but the sheer balls of the scooby doo parody and the sheer amount of jokes and creativity here make Edlund’s sole solo outing a true highlight. 

9. The Inamorata Consequence (Season 7, Episode 5) 

The likely final compound episode and a welcome return after season 6 lacked theme entirely, and as I established earlier the compound isn’t required it’s just where most of these take place.  Season 7 was a good note to go out on. While I still want closure, after the forgetable Season 5 and the  fresh but messy Season 6, 7 was almost pure goodness, with most of the episodes being standouts and the premire trilogy wrapping up the dangling threads from season 6 being a highlight, if not enough to make this list but it was a tight list as is. It had it’s flaws: The “Serena Cheats on Hank with Dean thing” was not only horribly underdeveloped but basically wrote off one of their best new characters. Her and hank breaking up and her dating dean is fine, relationships end and stuff, it was just done poorly. Even if Hank found out because a scary man in a bear costume literally carried him to a convience store and then to Dean which was great as was the button on that plot of, after Dean and Serena naturally react to the guy “Oh good you see him too. “ The Unicorn in Captivity is also a series low point despite having mark freaking hamil guest star, for a number of reasons i’ll probably get into one of these days either on a worst of list for this show or it’s own review. But those blemishes don’t overide a great season that makes up for Oprehous and Dermott’s absensces by bringing both back for an episode, has some true classics, some great character stuff and in general is just really good and it was hard to cut a lot of it from this list, but two made it. And it was nice to see the show go out on top if nothing else. 

So onto this episode which has a brilliant complex: Every exty years the Guild and the OSI meet to hash out the details of their mututal treaty with a Venture prociding and with Jonas now well and truly dead, and missing before that, it falls on Rusty. and since it was made before the compound burned down, our heroes returned to the charred remains of their home to hash things out.  The episode then nicely settles into 3 really excellent plots. The first is the obvious, the peace treaty which has the Council of 13, who in a delebrate move by the creators went from a bunch of faceless nobodies who were killed off to characters we all knew, versus our standard stable of OSI recureerers as the two bicker over terms and we find out one of the conflict settlers is a pool fight, done without a pool since that’s gone now. It’s just pure comedy goodness, but it ends with the rare unequivoocable VICTORY for Rusty. Fed up with both sides acting like children, and even calling them such, as well as both threatning war, he gives one hell of a speech to both to shut them up and for once in his life does BETTER than his father. 

It’s easily James Urbanik’s finest hour as the character and one of the series best moments which, 17 years in, is a high achievement.  The other two plots aren’t too shabby themselves. The second is an overlap as Hank gets lured away from the confrence by an old friend: IT’S DERMOTT! The dynamic duo rides again and their old dynamic of two dumbasses, one a normal teen but entirely full of himself the other being a cloudcuckoolander with little self awarness but more empathy and sometimes sense, is one I really missed and it shines here. Dermott’s joined the OSI, with Rusty giving him a recomendation as long as he didn’t tell anyone else he was his son, or at least it’s implied as much, finally buttoning up that bit while leaving it open for hank to find out later, and a bit that also was never resolved and hopefully will be by a follow up, especially since Dean revealed in the series finale he found out from his dad a while back while rusty was hammered. They follow kimberly mcmanus and one of the strangers, the guilds soldiers who are engaging in a clandestine affair.. which also reveals that the stranger is the peril partnerships mole in the guild, a nice twist. The two have fun chemistry and it’s great ot see them again just like it’s great to see hank and dermott pal around again with the highlight being hanks utterly bizzare and utterly hank fantasy sequence.  Rounding out the three is a more emotional tale as Dean sneaks off to see an old friend, Ben the genetisct who worked with his father and grandfather at various points and revealed to dean he was a clone. Ben is gone, either due to Doc and Jackson not wanting to use him, or because JK simmons was unvaliable and unlike dr. impossible and steven colbert, they didn’t want to recast. But we do get a great substitute as we meet H.E.L.P.er 2, a household model voiced by Rhys Darby who Ben left behind on his trip.  As it turns out Jonas tried mass marketing H.E.L.P.er units (With the equally unsurprisingly sexist tag line of “Get a H.E.L.P.er to Help Her!”), but a  baby choked on a stray bolt and a the ensuing backlash lead to mass burnings and most being destroyed and the one we meat being a nervous wreck that Ben took in. Dean naturally sees himself in the scared bot and while he fails to get his new friend to be able to leave, H2 is too nervous about possibly being destroyed and given the uncaring nature of the venture world sometimes yeah probably a good point, he does bond with dean.. and reveal that Rusty himself is a clone by accident. IT’s a nice twist that makes perfect since: While we don’t know if Rusty knows the tech was used on him most of his stuff , with few exceptions is old equipment of his dad’s. It’s not a stretch that his greatest invention was actually Jonas’. It also leads to a nice moment as dean hugs his dad, understanding him a bit better. It’s a funny, well done episode that lets doc and sons really shine. Truly a great way fo ra great theme to go out.

8. The Buddy System (Season 3, Episode 5) Time for a sentimental favorite. See while I watched bits of seasons 1 and 2 when they aired, and more of 2 then I realized, I didn’t get really hooked on the show till season 3.. and this was the episode that did it. The ones before are far from bad, Shadowman 9 was a contender for this list after all, this is just the one that really got me into the show, showing off it’s varied supporting cast, bringing in one or two more, and really getting me into dean.. and Dean and Triana shipping but I can get into that, again, more on that later. Given this and Fallen Arches were early faviorites it’s no suprise compound episodes became my faviorites and this one is easily the second best of em, with one more coming up topping it handily.  But enough showing my hand, let’s talk about Season 3. Season 3 is a slight mixed bag, as some episodes don’t land, but overall is a really good season, it’s just sandwitched between the shows too best. But it did have good ideas, great world building and a hell of a cliffhanger. Some decisions, like Sgt. Hatred, weren’t the best, but overall a solid season, just like 3 it only managed to squeak out one entry, though TONS of possible cantidates.  This episode has a great premise from the get go: Rusty, for once, has a decent idea. Yes it still results in a child dying and being replaced by a clone, but this is rusty. If something didn’t go terribly wrong on some level it wouldn’t be him. But the idea is simple: Since the cartoon based on his nightmarish childhood, which made him a minor celebrity and is why billy likes Rusty so much and looks up to him despite being.. Rusty, is a hit with the kids again, Rusty launches a day camp on the grounds, using his boys as counslers and having his various friends and aquantinces set up booths. From Orpheous and the order of the triad doing an anti drug presentation to the sea captain talking about the benefits of being a scooby doo villian, to Action Johnny, the series version of Johnny Quest renamed to avoid copyrights but very obviously Johnny Quest, whose strung out on drugs and can’t go a few minutes without going into a breakdown about his father or past. All good stuff. It actuallyg oes pretty well till rusty makes the mistake of going into an old thing of his d ad’s without checking and a gorilla monster attacks and gets the one child left behind, thankfully off screen, but it leads to the darkly hilarious bit of him rushing a clone out for his parents to avoid a justified law suit. 

Meanwhile the boys and brock deal with a new figure in their lives: Dermott Fictel. As the creators put it they basically desgined him as that one kid everyone knows who talks shit, thinks he’s way more capable than he is, and way more knowledgble than he is and is kinda dopey. I had one of those, i’m sure you did too, and that’s probably part of why I really liked Dermott as I knew a guy just like him. Hank naturally, not having had any friends other than dean and H.E.L.P.er, bonds with the prick and the two become best friends right away. Dean however hates the little asshole for both constantly shit talking him and just being obnoxious. Brock soon joins the hate train as Dermott invades his karate demonstration to talk about how much of a badass he thinks he is and learned from the internet. Brock soon finds himself asking the age old question. 

But since his code avoids women and children, he tries to find ways around it but Orpheous obviously isn’t having it. His other option is to go to the Monarch’s minons the Pupa Twins, aka the Moppets, Shiela’s old minons who the monarch’s basically stuck with and no one really liked in or out of universe. Their just assholes who treat 21 and 24 and the monarch himself like crap and are thankfully downplayed in Season 4, and only appear in Season 5 to die off and close up a plot thread. But credit where it’s due they did get one good bit, creepy as it may be and it’s this. 

With the Monarch not allowed to arch venture at the time due to plot stuff, the monarch’s mostly spying and sending the pupa twins in as spies which as you can see dosen’t really go well. Everything converges on the finale, as Rusty, again being rusty even when he’s mildly ahead child aside he still screws up, brings in Johnny’s old enemy Dr. Z, who like dermott is important but it’d take till the end of Season 5 for that. Johnny breaks down, Venture’s current nemisis arrives and finds there was a scheduling error and hten we get the crowning moment of the episode that makes it all come together magically: Dean gets to sit with Triana, whose actually being receptive to his crush for once, but also has to put up with Dermott..  who being Dermott, especially early dermott is an obnoxious jackass who makes creepy coments abotu Trianna and eventually sets Dean off

Dermott doesn’t even get two seconds into telling Triana to wait naked for him, because of course he does before dean utterly destroys him. This being Dean, it’s with tears and snot running and coming off like an angry 8 year old, but he still deserves points for utterly decimating the asshole after a full day of taking his self indulgant bullcrap and having the guy be creepy to his crush. And to be fair Triana was dealing with him fine, but still Dean beat up someone twice his size and while lacking any actual fighting skill with at least enough bulk to beat him up and gave the fucker a black eye. Until season 7 with him just paying off the monarch to save his teacher from making a huge mistake, and to show how fed up he was, this was easily Dean’s best moment. Just a great capper to a great episode. Also Dermott turns out to be, possibly brocks son but.. more on that later. 

7. Mid-Life Chrysalis (Season 1, Episode 3 (8 in Airing Order)  As I said earlier Season 1 was a bit rough, though as all of you probably know most 1st seasons are, especially in animation. It takes time to iron out what really works for a show and get it going right. Bojack Horseman, while still excellent, took the first few episodes to really become what it was born to be, Steven Universe season 1a lacks the deep characterization of the main cast that and has loosey goosey animation,  Ducktales had trouble character ballancing and ballancing adventure with deconstruction of adventure.. every show has growing pains.  And while season 1 does have too much of the show basically trying to scream

Like some adult cartoons do, and not even it’s contepraries like sealab and harvey birdman did as much, both excellent excellent shows by the way. But even with my criticsims of it: Flat characters, a try hard tone, clumsy worldbulding in places.. it’s still a good show even this early and even as early as episode 3, with the first two being good.. but this one being an utter classic. It dosen’t QUITE have the emotoinal or character depth of later episodes but damn if it isn’t one of the funniest things the crew ever wrote. 

Mid-Life’s two main plots are simple and start from the cold open: The Ventures get pulled over while on the way to an adventure by the air force, and Doc and Brock both encounter problems: Rusty being Rusty, his is petty and self loathing based as he gets called old or something like that by one of the air force people. Brock’s is a bit more serious: In a funny bit Brock LITERALLY has a legal lisence to kill, but given the burarcaey of the venture world, it’s expired.  So we get our two main plots out of that: Rusty wants to prove he’s not old and still got it by dragging a sad Brock to a strip club. Brock is miserable as the owner mocks him, and he can’t kill him so there’s that and his attempt to have a quickie with a stripper fails because it’s just not the same without his murder boner apparently. Look as I said the show was a wee bit immature early on.. it never stopped being mind you it just became more goofily immature than screaming i’m an adult. Brock leaves in a huff which leaves Rusty open for the oldest trick in the book as the Monarch sends Shiela in in disguise to seduce him, go back to his place, and then stick him with a syringe full of science that turns him into a caterpillar because this is the monarch. Subtly is not even a suite of his let alone his strong suite. Though this also being the Monarch we only get a bit where he watches as the two make out, which is creepy as that sounds until a minon randomly turns out the lights and apolgoizes. He was getting juice. The episode also nicely parodies the trope of a female spy or whatever turning for the hero because of his dick as The Monarch assumes that happen when Shiela has doubts about the scheme, that he “turend her with his oily sex” which is an objectively horrible and paranoid statment but also incredibly hilarious.  Thus the plots split and we get two really hilarious one: On Brocks end he with the boys encouragment, decides to retake his secret agent exam. And both boys really come into their own with this one: Dean’s adorably nerdy and sweet sides come out as he both encourages his second dad and helps him on the written portions, while hanks gung ho hankness emerges in full as he helps train brock, having him drink eggs that he probably spat in and in one of the best bits of the episode going a bit too far with the drill sgt routine till Brock helpfully points out he’ll legally be able to kill after this. The solution is also great as Brock not only avoids using his fire arm during one of the tests, instead uttelry decismating the target cutouts with just his kinfe and whatever he can rig up, and just scribbling icarus from the led zepplin albums on his test.. only for his proctor to pass him anyway as his dad and osi boss general treister, who we meet later, described brock as a living legend, and he did not dissapoint. And we get a great closer, after the main plto finsihes, where Brock shows the strip club asshole his fresh lisence before maiming him.. though even better, he DOSEN’T kill the guy as the asshole does show up again later, just missing an eye now. 

Back on our main plot we get plenty of hilarious and messed up stuff as the boys barely react to their dad’s horrible state, their numb at this point, and doc gives out the classic line and easily the best of the episode “I pissed in god’s eye, and he blinked”. Doc tries to cure himself and fails both due to caterpillar hands and due to helper eating the chemicals, and tries to get helper to help him reinact the end of the fly. All good stuff. It’s just a good, solid comedy episode that both solidifies the character and makes you laugh near constantly. 

6. The Terminus Mandate (Season 7, Episode 8) One of the best parts of the post Garantua shakeup of the show was the new council. After years of the council of 13 just being guys behind silouttes, mantle and dragoon nonwishtanding, Jackson and Doc replaced most of them with familiar charcters and gave a ton of them chances to shine while bringing in new ones like wide whale and easily their best later creation Red Death, more on him in a minute. It gave us a nice workplace dynamic and really made the guild pop more than ever. And this episode showcases this marvelously by giving the new council the spotlight.  In this one the Council find that there’s an old mandate that means they must stop active arching in order to retain their spots, something they all agree to and thus leads to an episode of each of the council having one last ride as each are given an envelope of who their last arch is. And each is hilaroius, some even heartfelt, creative and fleshes out some of them. Going down the list, leaving out Shiela and Red death who has a more involved subplot for hers and has some other buisness entirely we’ll get to: Phantom Limb: Has, in a great gag, a literal dick measuring contest with Hunter Gathers. Just a simple effective gag.  Radical Left: Is merged with his old arch enemy Right Wing so they simply play clue.  Wide Whale: Has the least funny or enteratining but still entresting as he and his old arch are now friends and the guy even plays cards with Rocco, so rather than poision the well he just sends Rocco to rough him up a bit for old times sake, then take him to dinner.  Dr. Z: Reminces with Action Johnny, the two considering each other family at this point and the two have a really nice moment with Johnny in rehab finally getting help that’s actually really touching and really nice to see.. though we also get an utterly fantastic bit where they recreate an actual scene from Johnny Quest but with Z lampshading how stupid everyone’s being. 

And finally we get Mantle and Dragoon, who spend the night binging tv and eating a ton, my mood and general schedule, afraid to open their envelope only to celebrate when they do and find their arches are all dead.  Red Death meanwhile has buisness to take care of. Since I dind’t include Red Means stop on here I’d just like to talk about how much I love the guy. Voiced by clancy brown death is an old school legend in the guild whose great at arching, has a great gimmick.,. but can switch from horribly threatning monster to aflrable nice and loving family man, having a younger wife and a daughter whose utterly adorable and shares his face. He even wanted the guild spot simply so he could basically retire, get the nice pension plan and salary that comes with the guild without the rigors of regular arching having long settled things with his own arch by murdering him> he’s an utterly inspired edition and the crew, and fans, loved him enough he became a recurrer this season. 

And his bit is both awesome and utterly terrifying: earlier the guild tried to parlay with rivals the peril partnership in order to stop the bleeding on their end, but their represntive, Blind Rage, a hilariously broey version of Daredevil, instead mocks and direspects them and is in general a pissant. So rather than do an arch, since he’s done with that anyway, Death evens the score in one of the shows best scenes, which like the rusty one above is an acomplishment years in and is an utterly terrifying and awesome villian scene. 

Clancy Brown is a fucking master at this. and it showss.  As for Shiela her bit ends up tying into the Venture Family’s plot for the evening: Rusty courts a black widow, Teresa Diade because getting laid outweighs the possibility of death and we get a a great bit of dean pretending to be her as the family preps him. Naturally he bungles it because he takes too much anti venom, but Teresa turns out to be a former superhero, probably what actually happened to her husbands, and Shielias arch during her breif solo career. Though instead of an arching, though she try, Shiela instead breaks down over the stress of this, over possibly giving up arching with her husband for her career, and the two share a nice moment. I mean she still takes Diade’s wallet because she’s a villian after all but it’s a nice one and an emotoinal moment. She takes the job as revealed later of course, because even of this probably hurts the Monarch’s feelings a bit he wants what’s best for her. Because they have a damn good marriage again. overally a really inventive, hilarious episode and one fo the show’s finest hurrahs as it approached an untimley end.

5. Everybody Comes to Hanks (Season 4, Episode 12) 

Season 4 as I said was my faviorite and one of it’s highlights was the duo of Bright Lights Dean City, which BARELY didn’t make this list, and Everbody Comes to Hanks. The two episodes followed the same period of time from the perspectives of each brother: Dean has an internship in new york city and Rusty’s bumming along, though being a dick he wants hank to have a job by the time he gets back.  Hank, in a classic hank move, expands Hank Co from an ocasional name for his buisnesses to a full on department store with a restraunt and detective agency because of course he has those. It honestly reminds me of me: Even as a teen I was the kind of goofus who’d do this sort of elaborate stuff. But at the same time it shows hank’s best trait and the one that most people underestimate: his ingniuity and imagination. Sure the guy’s off in his own world, as am I, and it’s his charm, but when push comes to shove he can bust out a wacky scheme, save his family from danger or as seen earlier this list pull out a 3 point romantic gesture. The guy may be kinda dumb, int he best way, but he’s got the natural talent for the superhero/supervillian game and clearly wants to be his own bizzare version of batman, which I hope he gets to be and I prefer over the theroy he’ll be a villian. Sure it makes SOME sense.. but frankly hank’s good heart and love of theatrics and lack of care about the jackasses meancing his dad make him a way better superhero. 

Anyways naturally said detective agency leads to both a noir homage, complete with lack of color and a case: Dermott, who at this point’s a bit more symapthetic, wants to know if brock’s really his dad or not and hires his best bud to do it. Hank also gets a partner in one fo the show’s best recurrers, the Alchemist, ba dah!, Orpheous’ best friend, teammate, sarcasm machine and out and proud magic guy voiced perfectly by Dana Snyder. He’s a good counterpart to Orpheous, sarcastic down to earth and fun loving to the more serious and full of himself Orhpeous and since Triana moving out in our next entry, has been Orpheous’ roomate and bored since he’s now in the middle of nowhere, so he’s eager to jump into Hank’s nonsense.  What follows is a compelling detective story as Hank finds out Brock never slept with Dermott’s mom, and tries to find the real one.. and ends up stumbling upon the solution upon hooking up with Dermott’s older sister Nikki... which quickly goes sideways as he finds out not only is she twice his age, and even without that he’s still a minor and this is still creepy.. but she’s Dermott’s mom.. and RUSTY’S his father, with Dermott’s mom who raised him being his grandma. It’s a hell of a reveal that throws up the table both on Dermott’s relationship with Hank and the chraracter as a whole and has a great flashback where we find out how something this effed up happened and it’s incredibly well acted. It’s good stuff.  Hank uses SPHYNX”s mindwipe machine on himself, since getting laid or not, which being hank he dosen’t see the problems with how it happened as long as he dosen’t know, sends a total recall esque message to himself on his watch so he knwos he got laid, jut not the horirble, horrible details. And I like that , unlike say Phineas and Ferb Across the Second dimension’s bullshit reset ending, this dosen’t erase the impact of things. Not hank loosing his virgnity that’s meaningless I mean Dermott. He’s still there, it jsut left at ticking time bomb of when that reveal’s going to go off, and added an intresting new dynamic that I hope if the show continues somehow gets explored. A masterful, fun and suprisingly disturbing episode, everybody should come to hanks. Also as one last post note i’d be remiss if I forgot the great bit of Hatred saying they only serve eggs at hanks cafe. 

4. The Better Man (Season 4, Episode 7) 

Now we get to Dr. Orpheous, who unsuprisingly is a faviorite of mine. While I wasn’t a big Dr. Strange fan till reading the old lee and ditko stuff, I was always a fan of Orpheous, a hammy divorced dad who will give fighting the hordes of hell the same gravitas as getting junk mail, putting some punks souls in a homies figurine, and venture stealing his weedwacker. He’s a truly loveable character, a silver age pompus style hero in a world he dosen’t quite fit, with more power and competence than most venture bros protaganists, but still having things thta hold him back: while he’s good at his job his own drive and self importance drove away his ex wife and leaves him with not much in his life other than his daughter.  And for the first time in the series he’s forced to face his wife leaving him for another man when said man shows up : The Outrider, a seemingly cooler mystic hero whose better at both being a husband and being a sorecer and stops some creature The Order of the Triad fights after their arch torrid sumons him. Orpheous stews over this a bit and after failing to make hisown doorway to hell t  one up his non-arch nemisis, visits another classic character for the series: the Master. Voiced by Voice Acting Maestro John Benjamin, pre his biggest roles with archer and bob’s burgers but post his breakout with home movies. The Master is a no nonsense mystic entity who loves taking the piss out of orpheous and loves his student even if Orpheous agrviates him. He also has a neat visual habit of showing up in a diffrent shapeshifted form each time to teach his pupil a lesson.. and to do weird sex stuff because he can multi task and we see Trainai’s mom for the first time, though with the master just using the form to taunt Orpheous on his personal failings as usual but has a good point.  Soon however the group returns to the portal from hell and find Torrid and Outrider.. and torid explodes and sends the rider to hell, forcing Orpheous and co to rescue him, with Orpheous finding out via a clue from the master that the outrider embeded an artifact in his head to travel between worlds, the one thing orpheous could never master, as a shortcut.. and said thing gets al and orpheous stuck with the outrider. There we see the contrast: Orpheous is indeed the better sorcerer.. but the outrider’s the better husband and while if his wife cheated on him that’s fucking terrible, it’s clear he didn’t STEAL Tatiana so much as she left Orpheous for someone that geniuinely appricated her. The hatched it buried and it’s godo character work.  Speaking of which we get to Jefferson Twilight, a blade parody who hunts Blackulas (his words and leads to a great moment in his debut where a supervillian tries to find a more pc term for it but Jefferson poitns out since he primarly hutns oversea “African americian” dosen’t really work), and the guy on the team reguarly compalning about having no magic ability.. but who finds he CAN move between worlds and astral project, to his delight and Al’s annoyance. It’s an adorable and well won moment as he finaly finds SOMETHING magic he can do.  The other plot, which dovetails nicely into Orpheous concerns Dean’s longstanding crush on Triana, another pin to pull from earlier this list. I shipped them when I was younger but this episode, and one coming up on this list, pointed out how it jsut didn’t work: Dean’s naivite combined with his lack of making a move just didn’t mesh with her. IT’s something the creators agreed on realizing they just had no use for Triana, but both hating the cliche of a character just vanishing and thus giving her a proper sendoff instead.  Dean tries to move on after another unsucessful attempt to talk her up, with Hank and Dermott playing his wingmen, unsucessfully but Dean actually hits it off with a girl.. a girl we never see again but still and Dermott actually offers sound advice for once.. which given events before and after this prompts Dean to quip “better check the temprature in hell”. He just says to take things slow and just call the girl, maybe ask her out, don’t overblow it again or try too hard. It’s good stuff and like our last entry deepens the character a bit by showing that he’s not always a dumbass. Just  mostly. On Triana’s end she enters her dad’s closet, again having done so before and as shown in previous episodes Orpheous always mindwiped her, and it turns out it’s not the first time as the Master sees great talent, but sees she needs to be taught by her mother and step dad, where she can find other witches and learn at her own pace.. maybe befriend an older witch and a demon, find her own personl lesbian. We’ll see how it goes. He TRIES scaring her out fo a future with dean, but fails because.. she had no intrest in dean whatsoever and there was nothing to scare her away from. The Master is confident this will lead to nothing.. but as we see in the stinger.. this isn’t the case.  Byron for once grew, and rather than wipe his daughter’s brain to keep the last family he has outside of his buddies close, as he likely did before out of fear of loosing her... lets her go. He grows letting his daughter grow up and take the long path he did and hopefully better than either of her parents, while Dean “let’s her down gently’. Triana was a godo character, a downt o earht presence in theboys life and wiry, but it was time for her to fly and it’s a good note to send her off on and overall pure magic. 

3. All This and Gargantua 2! (Special between Seasons 5 and 6) 

ONto another charcter’s sendoff we have JJ, Doc’s brother he absorbed in the womb who came back somehow and then became way more sucessful and spent all of seasons 4 and 5 building a space Station. And this episode pays that and MANY other threads off in a giant sized epic that’s one of the series finest moments.  it’s the Gargantua 2′s grand opening, with Doc and the boys going up. Hank goes to gamble and adventure, with Hank bucks obvoiusly, while Doc and Dean are called to Visit JJ.. whose dying, his body shutting down shortly after he finalyg ot life and wanting this satilite to be his final work. but soon the three, along with col treister who we’ll get to in another entry, have ot save the world with JJ touchingly sacirficing himself just as both brothers finally reconciled and Doc finally accepted him. It’s  a powerful subplot.  Said calamity comes in the form or another loose end, the revenge socieyt, Phantom Limb’s splinter group who are attacking and are unknowing pawns in the soverign, who turns out not tbe bowie which is good becaue he dies here and that would’ve been eerie, and his mad plans to try and outwit the investors, msyterous beings. Yeah i’m going to have to try and summarize a lot here as htis is a big, continuity drive spectacle and it works well if wonkily. TO mak ea long story short our heroes fight on a satlite, and dr. henry killinger, marry poppins meets kissinger with a magical murder bag, fights his brethern and reforges the guild with the various villians tryign to stop the soverign or leftover from the society. The special is one big bit of fanserice that ties up loose ends and launches a bold new era. I don’t have as much to say as other entires but it’s this high up because few episodes match it in sheer importance, scale, humor and timing, it’s just harder to dig into because again, it’s an hour long special with lots of stuff from the series up to that point. it’s what makes it work but it’s harder to dig into in this short a space. Maybe someday soon. either way i’ts a garganguan achivment that feels like a huge pot of payoff after 5 seasons of effort and is utterly worth the ride. 

2. Showdown at Cremation Creek, Parts 1 and 2 (Season 2) Yes this is a two parter. Yes i’m giving it one spot but it’s my list and this is basically a special like the two entires it’s sandwitched between just sliced in half. So pitter patter, let’s talk about this one. 

Showdown was the finale to the stellar season 2, a step up from season 1 that refined the good raw matieral there into something truly stupdencous and it all comes to a head here in a wonderful epic in the might venture maner in that it manages to feel epic while still being hiilarious, characer driven and self parodying.  After a season apart the Monarch and Shielia have reonciled and are having an affair behind Phantom Limb’s back.. though given LImb is a sexist piece of shit who dosen’t value Shielia as a parter or part of his orignization while the Monarch has come around to doing so and did even with his crazy jealousy, it’s forgivable. Shelia wants more form him and the Monarch takes hte painful step of agreeing to stop arching venture. This dosen’t last obviously, but still. HOwever it does lead to pure hilarity when his henchman for the bachelor party, after the monarch went home, kidnapping the ventures, having gottne brock while he was drunk and distracted. Still with fatalities but still.. it’d be the best day of their lives anyo ther day. But to avoid pissing off his fiance who likely woudln’t belivie the truth, he makes up a story of inviting them to a wedding as an olive branch and does so> The whole situation also leads to my faviorite venture line: 24: Holy shit I thought we dreamnt that part! Anyways our gang are soon split up, Brock attends awkardly, Dr. Venture tries to hit on the bride over mid life chriaslys earlier, and we get the dawn of one of the show’s best buddy duos: 21 and Hank. The two being huge nerds quickly bond, and 21 helps hank sneak into the wedding as “Igor Badguyovich via an old henchman uniform, cleverly one of the ones from the pilot. Dean ends up getting stuck in the engine room and ends up spending the two parter hallucinating and going on a patichse version of never ending story while also letting loose his hatred of his boy advenutering lifestyle. It’s prue fun and good stuff.  David Bowie, or someone impersnating him, aka the soverign arrives along with Klaus Nomo and Iggy Pop for the wedding as an old frirend of shelias giving her away. But soon things go as bad as a superhero wedding does, becuase supervillians apparently aren’t immune to that as Phantom Limb attacks, deciding to throw a cou because he can’t kill the guy his ex actually likes or get promtoed and with bowie’s enorage as his moles attacks and tries to take shiela by force. The result is great as brock moblizies the minons, and unbenwonst to him, hank to fight, dean has his epic adventure and rusty and monarch try to do.. something. It’s all great stuff while Bowie fights limb in an epic battle we sadly barely see but what we do is glorious. It’s all good stuff. An donly one episode tops it in scope, humor and spectacle and in my heart. 

1. Operation P.R.O.M. (Season 4, Episode 16)  The show’s best season goes out with it’s best episode. I could close it out there but given i’ve rambled about every other episode why stop now? It’s Homeschool Prom Night! Doc’s gathered their various allies, the order of the triad, pete and billy , shoreleave and brock, along with Hatred who has replaced his hatred tats with a big v.. excpet the d over his junk which is unfortunate. 21 joins in genuinley and because he’s having a crisis while monarch and sheila crash with hatred’s ex as a baragning chip to see wha’ts up and end up joining in. 

The boys are as sucessful getting their own dates as you’d expect: no one will return Hank’s calls but since he runs into best buddy Dermott on the way brings him along as long as their band can play, which is easily the highlight of the episode as their glorious and terrible garage band Shallow Gravy makes it’s debut. Figures I can’t put video in right as the article’s almost done.. but back on point.. Dean brings Triana who has a boyfriend now who resembles Edward Cullen, because tha’ts aged really well, which bugs the crap out of him even though he moved on and casues him to act like a pissant and get a corsage thrown in his face as he should. Dean ends up following Dermott and Hank’s advice to go try and “win her back” with a big romantic gesture... which listneing to dermott on a romantic gesture should be grounds for being delcared legally braindead.. it goes terribly with the big plan instead burning a t on her lawn, and the ghost robes making Dean look like the kkk. The outrider tells him to be happy after beating him up over the mixup, a mixup that REALLLLY hasn’t aged well, and Dean tells him to fuck off. End of their time but it’s good stuff and caps a great season of hank. And while I don’t LIKE dean’s behavior here, it’s nice to see him not act like a good person for a second, and to be as human and faliable as the rest of htem, even if it means beeing deeply unlikable and his next relationship which sadly just.. never got picked up again, would go better. And the one after that.. not getting into that mess. What the hell guys. It’s really good stuff. 

Naturally given all these cast members ther’es a lot else going on: Rusty hires prostitues for the evening because of course he does and fails with his because of course he does.. and because it turns out his name is a sex act which leads toi a long and inspried bit of bleeping as everyone has their own version and we see tons of recurrers way in to Rusty’s horror. Rusty being inscensed tires using an aprohdeiasc , specially spanish fly taken from an actual fly, one of my faviorite bits mostly for this bit after billy gapes in horro at the giant monster fly.  Doc: Don’t scream you’ll just piss it off and it screams acid when it’s pissed off. And I alredy dids that when I ripped it’s wings off.  His scheme is of course utterly terrible but it’s Rusty, and i’m unsuprised and he dosen’t benifit from it as we’ll get into. Al and Shore Leave bond while 21, in a pogniant subplot, realizes he’s had enough and quits his job and through Orpheous realizes his firend isn’t a ghost, but a guilt induced hallucinaiton and lets him go, joining the team implicitly. It’s really good character stuff.  Finally we have the espionge portion. WHile Shore leave is at the party Gathers leaves Brock, once he’s finished chauffering the boys, to watch Monstroso, who they recently captured and gathers wants to use as a barganing chip. But gathers soon finds previously introduced Agents Doe and Cardholder wanting to topple agency head Hunter Gathers, one of my faviorite recurring characters mostly due to being performed by the increidble Toby Huss, a batshit general whose basically nick fury with a kentucky accent and no real filter or fucks to give and he’s utterly hilarious any time he shows up.  He’s been claming his cancer treatments have turned him into a Hulk, and why yes that is their exact terminology. Turns out agents doe and cardholder have been playing along with this seeming delusion to try and outst treister.. and take the OSI over for the guild, being the traitors Gathers suspected were there. However in a brilliant turn, this sub plots resolves as all should: on the bridge of hteir hellicarrier, with Treister draped only in the american flag with a post it note saying fix it on his chest. He reveals that while the cancer is real, the “hulkking” out was just playing them: he knew they were the double agents, and was using Gather’s to ferit them out. However that’s not the only reason: Treister knows his odds of beating cancer are slim so he’s come up with a resonable solution: Shoot himself up into space, as seen in the image for this entry, and see if aliens can cure it. They don’t but space radiation does as he returns later and not only that while he’s lost in the special, after brilliantly ACTUALLY having become a hulk, Doc and Jackson revealed in the making of book they had plans to possibly have him come back as their version of GALACTUS at one point, only holding back on it because their not sure if they want to go full cosmic or not. We’ll see if the show comes back in longform but god I hope so. If not i’m sure as hell doing it. But Treister hands the wheel over to gathers literally and metaphorically, passsing the reigns of the ship and the OSI over to him so Gathers can run it right, and then well.. shoots himself up into space, ending up as the last image of the hour long masterwork. But befroe that theres one last plot that leads into what I consider to be the show’s best scene. Brock finds out the hard way that the other Sphinx agent on duty is actually his ex molotov cocktease, who skirts monstroso away because she’s fallen for him, to brock’s rage. While Brock catches up to them, Mol reveales she has a trump card: The prostitues venture hired are actually her mercinary crew the blackhearts, and if she dosen’t give the signal everyone dies.. and being an utter dick Mol lets the car brock’s holding up off a cliff drop with her and monstroso inside.. though they come back eventually because universe that’s basically a comic book. So we get THIS SEQUENCE THAT’S IN CAPS BECAUSE THEY STOPPED LETTING ME PUT VIDEOS IN THIS ONE FOR SOME REASON AND IT’S ALMOST DONE. It’s easily the show’s best as Pulp’s amazing “Like a Friend” plays as brock rushes to save everyone, finds everyone having a good time thanks to rusty’s spanish fly, and Shore Leave and Al doing the v-day sailor kiss which is amazing, and then all the blackhearts turn into fly monsters because Rusty. It’s a great, tense gorgeously animated sequence that ends showing just how far brock’s come: From an angry asshole who hates everyone to these guys genuine friend.. and still a badass. overall just a great, spectacular finale and the best of one fo the best animated shows period. And with that the list concludes. This took me 2 days worth of adruous work so I hope you enjoyed it. Follow me for more including regular coverage of Amphibia, Ducktales starting back up later this month.. and as of tommorow possibly the loud house! Expect more venture bros including reviewcaps coming soon and if you want to comission your own reviewcap for 5 bucks, just hit up my personal messages or ask box, or just hit it up iwth a casual suggestion i’m bound to listen. Either way until next time, Go Team Venture. And I can think of only one way to properly close this. Play us off sea captain.

[entrepreneursbloguk]

New Post has been published on Entrepreneurs Blog

New Post has been published on https://www.entrepreneursblog.co.uk/blog/jake-paul-net-worth-year/

Jake Paul Net Worth [year]

Net Worth: $19 million Age: 22 Born: 17th January 1997 Country or Origin: United States of America Source of wealth: YouTuber / Social Media Entrepreneur Last updated: 2020

  Introduction

As a famous personality, Jake has endorsed several popular brands/names such as HBO, Pepsi, Virgin Mobile, Ritz and many more.

Jake is an avid user of Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Snapchat. He has more than 11.7 million followers on his verified Instagram and thousands of followers on other social networks.

According to a reliable source, Paul earns about $ 23,402 to $ 39,004 per paid Instagram post.

On March 16, 2019, Jake posted a video of him with a camera inserted in his arm. He also posted a video on his YouTube channel about the cost and the big day of operation.

With an impressive net worth of $ 19 million, Jake lives a luxurious lifestyle.

In 2017, Paul bought a large mansion with a value of $ 6.9 million located in Calabasas, CA. The 15,000 square foot mansion covers 3.5 acres of land and has different characteristics.

The 6 feet (1.83 m) tall, a YouTube celebrity had a long relationship with her partner Youtuber Erika Costell, who has more than 4.3 million subscribers hooked to her channel. At that time, she was also the secretary of team 10 that Jake Paul founded. 

He and Erika started dating in July 2017, but unfortunately, they broke up after a dramatic display in November 2018. According to Costell, Paul brought other girls home for the night and, as a reaction, also brought his fans and friends who annoyed Jake Paul. An exhibition that saw their relationship finally hit the rocks.

However, Erika Costell is not the only Jake woman. Paul has ever been romantically related; he felt something for Kellie Stewarts (2014), Alissa Violent (June 2016 to February 2017), Tessa Brooks (February 2017)

Early Life

Jake Paul is an American actor, rapper and YouTube personality born on January 17, 1997, in Ohio, United States, as Jake Joseph Paul. His parents are Pamela Ann Stepnick better known as Nee Meredith and his father Gregory Allan Paul is a real estate agent. His only brother, Logan Alexander Paul, popularly called Logan Paul, is also an Internet personality who first became popular in Vine. Logan states that Jake’s ethnicity identifies itself as English, Jewish, Australian, Hungarian and German, therefore, he has a multiracial heritage.

Career

Jake Paul began his career in 2013 when the then-popular video upload application called “Vine” was still active. He won millions of viewers and subscribers before the application was closed. This prompted Jake to move his files to YouTube, where he gained his popularity as a famous Youtuber. He continued to make waves with his charges and attracted the attention of Disney Channel, which invited him to play the role of Dirk in Bizaardvark.

In 2017, he created Team 10 in an attempt to increase marketing management to influence youth entertainment and attracted some investors who invested in the effort to make it more successful. Later that same year, he released a music video titled It’s Everyday Brother in Collaboration with Team 10. 

The video garnered about 70 million views at that time but was rated as the third most nasty video on YouTube within one month of its release, which was a beautiful coincidence for Jake Paul.

Jake Paul, popular worldwide, is an American personality and Internet actor who rose to fame with the now eliminated Vine application. He later caught the attention of the public and the media after Dirk’s performance in the Disney Channel series Bizaardvark.

YouTuber, based in Los Angeles, began making YouTube videos with Brother Logan Paul before starting his own YouTube channel of the same name. Jake has earned a great fortune and fame. As of 2019, he has an estimated net worth of $ 20 million.

Highlights

Initially, he began his career from the Vine as Viner application with 5, 3 million followers and 2 billion views, Jake is currently considered one of the most successful and richest Internet personalities.

On January 17, 2017, Paul launched Team 10 with $ 1 million in funding to create a creative agency and influencers marketing management. The team’s investors include Horizons Alpha, Sound Ventures, A-Grade Investments, Danhua Capital, Adam Zeplain and Vayner Capital. The YouTube channel of Team 10 has more than 2.5 million subscribers.

On May 30, 2017, Jake released a music video titled It’s Everyday Bro along with Team 10, which has 240 million views and 4.2 million dislikes, which makes it the third most nasty video on YouTube. Its video content mainly jokes videos, parties and content related to entertainment.

He has also collaborated with other YouTube stars such as Josh Peck, Alisha Violet, Cameron Dallas and more.

As a singer, Jake has released hit singles like Shakey, Ohio Fried Chicken, That Ain’t Not Not News, Saturday Nights, May Teachers, Cartier Vision and more.

Favourite Quotes

“A lot of [influencers] are lazy. They’re cool with a nice car or some money in the bank…” – Jake Paul

“Do you think Leo DiCaprio just got out of bed one day and became an Oscar-winning actor without putting the work in?” – Jake Paul

“I’m never satisfied. It was just the 20th anniversary of Bad Boy Records and they’re still talking about Biggie. I want people talking about me when I’m gone.” – Jake Paul

“If you look at the biggest people on social media right now, it’s the Kardashians. My goal is to form a crew that’s bigger than them collectively. It might take us five years, but we’ll get there.” – Jake Paul

“To be the best, you’ve got to beat the best. I’ve been making videos for the past ten years, so if someone wants to knock me off, they’d better bring it.” – Jake Paul

Life Lessons

Now you know all about Jake Paul’s net worth, and how he achieved success; here are 3 success lessons we can all learn from this social media celebrity, Jake Paul:

1. Be Consistent

Consistency is one of the keys Jake mentions in the above video. He said that he continued to put out videos regularly, even when hardly anybody was watching them.

However, after doing this for 4 years, things eventually began to click; and he had enough experience to know what works, and what doesn’t.

2. You Gotta Want It

Jake’s motto is “You gotta want it”, which essentially means that you need to be investing your time in something you love, you’re passionate about, and that you want to succeed in badly.

3. Be Ready to Adapt

When the Vine platform closed down, Jake could have been completely de-motivated, and his following could have been destroyed. However, he was prepared to adapt, and so he already had begun making the transition over to YouTube and was making other moves in his career.

Summary

Jake Paul is a social media celebrity and another of the up and coming new generation of entrepreneurs. As of 2019, Jake Paul’s net worth is estimated to be $19 million.

[loseitall-ff]

21. Part 2

Patting the side of the bed with my eyes still firmly closed “Robyn” I mumbled, opening my eyes and seeing an empty bed side. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I wonder where she is at. Scratching my chest looking around the room, last night was a beautiful night with my woman. Even though that happened with Robyn we got to spend the night together at least, I am hoping Robyn is feeling good though. Looking to my night stand and grabbing my phone, all that sex made me tired. Seeing the missed calls from my tour manager and manager, also missed call from Mijo. I feel so popular but it is all work, something I am hiding away from at the moment. Calling my tour manager, let me see what is good with him “yes, yes breezy” Dev said down the phone “what’s good Dev, did the stage make it to Australia?” I have this weekend left and then Monday I’m gone, I need to leave early because I want to rehearse on stage there, I don’t want to be going there last minute because this is a big tour and it will take it out of me “yeah it arrived, I am flying out tomorrow. Dancers, stylist, sound engineers the whole team they all flew out today, we got the tour bus ready, we just need the man himself. Your Support acts will be there soon, but everything good on our end, I just want to know that you are feeling it because you been a little off with things?” clearing my throat “what can I say, I am dealing with it. Just a little anxious, this is a big tour and I am going to miss my family but we will be good” this sucks, but I am trying to spend time with my family before I do go.

Walking down the steps with my phone pressed against my ear talking to Mijo “so what you finna do then? You want to go in business with me?” looking to the living area, Robyn is curled up on the couch with the open fire on watching TV “why not, I will do anything to help you and your family. You can go with this nightclub idea and I will put the money to it” walking over to Robyn, her head shot up looking at me “forreal?” he said in shock “why you acting mad shocked? I got you, just send me the details and I will help you out with the cash flow” leaning down and pressing a kiss to Robyn’ lips “thank you bro, you finna come to my niece party though. Ron invited you? It’s tomorrow” sitting next to Robyn “I am planning on spending that time with my family bro” rubbing my chin “erm” I don’t know what to do “you know what, I will come through with shawty for a while” I guess I can do that “yeah come with Rih, just come for a while” I want to spend time with them before I go but don’t want to let them down.

Robyn placed her legs over my lap “you good?” placing my phone at the side of me “kind of, I couldn’t really sleep. Then I was just watching people talk about me on social media, I acted stupid and I looked stupid on the video. My brother text me asking where I was” I can tell she hasn’t slept “fuck what people think, fuck them all Robyn. Don’t be sad over that shit, you just need to concentrate on you. They don’t know what you have been through so fuck em, what did your stupid brother want anyways?” it will be something stupid because the guy is a dick “asking where I am, I told him that it has nothing to do with him so he called me a bitch” shaking my head “can I punch him? He is a straight up bitch!” Robyn shook her head “please do not do that, I don’t need it. I can handle him, he just knows I am with you because he’s not stupid. I need to get back though” Robyn looks so beautiful without make-up I admire her beauty, I am so damn lucky “I promise, for you I will be good because I need to be in their good books too” I really want to punch Rorrey.

Robyn yanked her feet away from me “what you doing?” I asked smiling “you touching my feet, I am a little ticklish” she placed her feet just under my thigh “I am touching my baby’ feet, so what” she zipped my jacket up hiding her face “I just feel and look like shit, I am embarrassed. But I saw what you got Mel and I feel a little jealous” oh no, rolling my eyes “so is Mel apart of the Black Pyramid team now? Why did I not get a chain” I knew Robyn would do this “well I like Mel, my team needs some females so I thought why not. Did she get the delivery?” looking over at Robyn “she did but where is mine Chris? I should be first lady” she whined, sighing out “I am right Chris, I should be the first lady of Black Pyramid. I should have a unique chain like you all” rubbing the side of my face laughing “you really like the chain? It’s like mine but a little more girly” it was so last minute, I am glad it looks good “yes I do like it, Chris stop. I am jealous, I want a delivery of all your clothing line and chain. This is not fair” staring at Robyn in confusion “I bought you an engagement ring and besides, we shouldn’t even be together” Robyn snatched her feet away from under my thigh “hate you, I am jealous and want it” reaching over and pulling the jacket down away from her face “I will see what I can do for you, just Mel can promo my shit too” Robyn gets so jealous about shit now.

Mijo is really excited about this business venture, all I know is that I will be paying out but in the long run it will be a good thing. It will make money for the both of us, he has sent me picture of the place he wants to buy “what you and Mijo about to do? I heard you speaking” moving my eyes away from my phone “going into business together, and oh yeah. It’s Mijo’ sister daughter party tomorrow, I need to drop by. You coming with me too and you need to pack a weekend bag for Liana and yourself, spending some time together. I need to buy a few things and I will be all yours tomorrow” I actually need to check with my nigga, I want to go to the Lakers game tomorrow “you fancy going to a Basketball game with me?” looking back at my phone “I rather you don’t go, you’re going to be gone for so long Chris. I don’t like your schedule, it looks so busy. It’s like you move to Europe for months!” locking my phone not knowing what to say “you can come out to me?” placing my phone down “I need to get Liana back in school, I think I have done enough with taking her out. Monday she goes back, I am trying to keep her in there for as long as I can. I will bring my album out and you will be out there, I can’t share that with you” I was waiting for Robyn to make me feel like I wanted this.

Rubbing the top of my head “Robyn I didn’t ask for this, it’s my job. I understand you have a job too, but in everyone’s eyes we live separate lives so of course they are not going to schedule me in thinking of you or Liana, I am going to be sad as fuck. I am suffering the most here, I won’t even see my daughter. She is always changing on me, she always learns something new and then I got you. I am losing out of this, I am sad as fuck. I’ll be on tour for Liana’ birthday” she thinks I am not suffering when I am “sorry” Robyn said “it’s cool, just trust me when I say that I am going to miss you so much” Robyn moved up from the couch and crawled over to me, climbing on to my lap facing me “sorry, I was being selfish but I just love you” placing her hands at the side of my face “please be safe out there, I am so scared to lose you. You are my everything” pecking my lips with hers “same baby, I love you too. I want you to be strong” wrapping my arms around Robyn.

Placing a blunt between my lips as I closed my front door, unlocking my car door for Robyn as she shuffled towards the car. She is wearing my boxers, long tee and jacket with my Gucci slides on that are too big for her feet, but she has nothing else to wear but that. Seeing my neighbour leave their home at the same time as me, looking at him as he stared at both Robyn and I, he just smiled looking away “oh my gosh!” hearing Robyn half shout, turning my head staring ahead of me seeing Robyn looking at the ground sitting in the car. Looking at the ground, I chuckled seeing the Gucci slide on has fell off her foot “they are so big for my feet” moving the blunt away from my lips blowing out the smoke, picking up the slide on “it’s cool” leaning down and placing it back on her foot “you’re so cute” Robyn beamed, moving back and closing the car door.

“Can I drop you off at the front of your home or down the road like always? I actually don’t want you to be walking around with your legs out” I pointed out “they are only my legs” she said, I shrugged “no man can see them besides me now” I joked turning off on the road “Chris, there is something I need to tell you before we get to my place” looking over at Robyn “you want me to park up? We are literally here” looking in the rear-view mirror before I parked up on the side road “I mean you didn’t have too but thank you, just last night you asked me about protection. If I am taking anything, I said I am didn’t I” nodding my head “yeah you did” turning the music down a little more “I lied, I am not taking anything at all” my eyes widened “is this where you tell me you are pregnant?” I said feeling nervous as shit right now, Robyn giggled “no, I’m not pregnant. I just didn’t want to lie to you and make you think I am on something when I am not” letting out an oh going silent “there is a reason why you’re not on anything, does that mean you are trying for a baby?” I rather she tell me if she is, Robyn shrugged “I don’t know, I just think why wait? Let nature take its course, to have more kids with the man I love is something I wouldn’t stop. Are you upset with me?” shaking my head “nah, I’m not upset. Anything you feel is right I will do, not like we are getting any younger so why not” Robyn’ face broke into a smile “I thought you would have been annoyed with me, to be honest if it happens then it does but I will let nature take its course” leaning over and pressing a kiss to Robyn’ cheek “I wouldn’t ever be annoyed with you, I rather you be truthful with me. Just be that with me ok?” Robyn nodded her head “I promise” that is all I want.

Robyn actually let me park outside the home and drop her off, nobody will see me anyways because her family went out so it is just Robyn home alone “I would invite you in but we might end up having sex and I don’t want to get caught, but thank you for dropping me off home handsome. I will give you your clothes back when I see you tomorrow” turning the car engine off “keep it” I said while unbuckling my seatbelt “yay! It smells of you so I am happy” she is so cute “so tomorrow then, I got lots in store for us as a family. Get lots of rest and I will pick you up” I do have a lot planned for them, it’s hard to fit it in all in one day so I may need to take things out “thank you for being considerate, spending every moment with us. I love it” smiling a little “well I got my auntie and mom coming with me, meeting the fans you see so they deal with that part. Liana not going to see gamma either for a while, my sister did say she will come and take her out with Desean if you don’t mind” Robyn doesn’t look pleased “didn’t know your mom was going but I guess it will be nice for Liana to spend some time with her auntie and cousin, Liana is really going to miss you both” now Robyn looks even more sad.

[shadyparakoopa]

All of them

Fuck you :C

1. What's your middle name, and do you like it? “Paul” and ...I guess?

2. are you artistic? I guess so..I should start drawing more

3. Have you had your first kiss? no...

 4. What is your life goal? idk man i just need a job first but I guess I wanna get into animation and stuff and maybe make a game?

5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person? Not really

6. Do you play any sports? No

7. What's your worst fear? Abandonment, Bees, some shit like that

8. Who's your biggest inspiration? Depends, Steve Purcells a big inspiration between art and writing

9. Do you have any cool talents? I’m good at art and cooking

10. are you a morning person? HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no

11. How do you feel about pet names? what?

12. Do you like to read? Sure

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. MST3K, ATHF, Sam & Max, Venture Bros. Billy & Mandy

14. Do you care about your follower count? Nah

15. What's the best dream you've had? The other night I had a dream I had a job and a relationship...Im not joking. :T

 16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? I havent even kissed anyone.

17. Do you have any pets? Heck ye

18. Are you religious? eh

19. Are you a people person? ehh?

20. Are you considered popular? probably not

21. What is one of your bad habits? Does self doubt and negativity count.

22. What's something that makes you feel vulnerable?  lonliness, lack of motivation

23. What would you name your children? idk

24. Who's your celebrity crush? idunno

25. What's your best subject? science

26. Dogs or cats? Both!

27. most used social media besides tumblr? idk i dont really use much, i got a twitter I suppose

28. best friends name. Tim

29. who does your main family consist of. My mom, my dad (divorced) nd step dad and brother

30. Chocolate or sugar Both

31. have you ever been on a date? No.

32. Do you like rollercosters? Heck ye

33. Can you swim? Yep

34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse? Fight people  I guess. Sleep. the usual stuff

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder. Yep

36. Are your parents together? nope

37. What's your favourite colour? Green

38. What country are you from/do you live in? America

39. Favourite singer? idk

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? I hope so

41. Do you like dresses? *shrug*

42. Favourite song right now? idk

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Not really

44. How old were you when you first got your period? I never even had one 

45. Have you ever shot a gun? yea

46. Have you ever done yoga? No

47. Are you a horror girl? I’m a guy first of all

48. Are you good at giving advice? Sometimes

49. Tell us a story about your childhood. While hiking with a summer camp we stepped on a underground wasp nest and I got stung everywhere. It mad me develop a fear of bees

50. How are you doing today? eh...depressed

51. Were you a cute kid? I suppose

52. Can you dance? No

53. Is there anything you do that you can't remember ever not doing? Idk?

54. Have you ever dyed your hair? No

55. What colour are your eyes? Brown

56. What's your favourite animal? Bats or Raccoons

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? You dont even know..

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Mostly yeah

59. Do you have good friends? Yeh

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? Yeah, also I am Bi

61. What's your favourite class? Science

62. List all the tv shows you are watching. None right now since verything is on Hiatus or cancelled

63. Are you organized? No

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? I dont remember, Movies are expensive

67. Which tv character do you relate to most? Rick from Rick and Morty I guess.

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness? Money, having a job, or a relationship. etc Depression

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? Trying to improve my skills and animate etc

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? I dont know. I’ll outlive everyone I care about so thats depressing

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? no idea

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently? try to do better in highschool and try to be more social

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Yeah

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new? idk a long time ago

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind? Home?

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today? Nothing

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid? dont remember

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking? No clue

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have? hell if i remember

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence. “Try too get a job and relationship and learn to care about myself”

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like? I dont know geez

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? Depressed because I out lived everyone

83. How would you spend a billion dollars? Classes, Food, video games, travvelling, gifts for friends

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? no idea,I guess future

85. What motivates you to succeed? Motivatioon from friends

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? idk

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? Both are cool.

88. Do you believe in life after death. idk

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? I dont knoowwww

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? I cant think of much rn. Pobabaly going to some fair oor theme park

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? No idea 

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? What

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? What?

94. What do you think happens after we die? Why are we a philosophy now 

95. What would you do if you would be invisible? Invisible stuff

96. What's something you can't do no matter how hard you try? Have self confidence

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? idk i dont even want kids 

98. How did your first crush develop? Idk

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? Depression. Still :T

100. Do you live or do you just exist?  what????????????????

Fuck you anon

[thenerdytomboynewb96]

Samantha Allan Park Ch. #8

Any references to TMNT or anything from popular media and culture is NOT MINE. I only own my OC’s.

Chapter #8

Sam hadn’t realized what time it was when she heard a knock on her window. She was in front of her desk where her t.v. sat when to her left at the window was a smiling Michelangelo. A smile also began to grow on her face as she gave him the O.K. symbol and he opened the window. He opened the window and climbed on through, leaning his skateboard against an open space along the wall. “Hey toots, you forget about me already?” She snickered. “Right, because an almost 6 foot turtle is so easy to forget.” “Well you’re the one who left the window closed.” “Not because I forgot about you, I just lost track of time.” “Mhm, right, I see how it is” he teased. “What are you listening to?” “Oh, the song playing right now? It’s called “Obsession” by G-Dragon.” “And that would be?” Sam gave him a wicked smile. “See, if I tell you, then that means you have to allow me to rant on and fangirl for a while, as in I can’t just simply say who he is, you’ll have to listen to the whole story.”   Mikey put his fingers on his chin, jokingly questioning the situation. “Hmmmm, I guess I have the time to listen to your rant.” Sam’s eyes went wide. “REALLY?!” “Really” he smiled. 

Sam then went on to tell Mikey everything she knew about G-Dragon and Big Bang, the music group he was a member[JG1] [JG2]  of. She told him all she knew and even showed him many of their music videos, which eventually lead to her showing him many of their funny moment videos. Within that same hour, Mikey had quickly become a fan of the group. He and his brothers loved listening to new groups and types of music and experimenting with what they did and didn’t like, and right now he definitely liked this group. “So, do you like older groups and songs? Since according to this Wikipedia page, the album with this song came out in 2009.” “Well, with this album specifically I just love a lot of the songs and the uniqueness to them, like it’s hard to believe that these songs came out in 09. But I’ll honestly admit that I’m all over the place when it comes to knowing songs, groups, and individual members and who and what belongs where. I’m a fan of some groups who have been around for a while, but I’m also a fan of some more ‘recent’ groups. Like I love Super Junior who debuted in 2005, but lately I’ve been focusing on BTS a lot more than anyone else.” “I guess you’ll introduce me to those groups another day then?” Sam smiled, if he held true to his comment, then that meant there would be more days where the two would be hanging out. “Yea haha, I don’t want my fangirling to scare you away so soon.” “Well, how about I introduce you to a group that I’m a fan of then?” “Alright, sounds fair. I’ve done my fangirling, now you show me who you fanboy over.” He laughed. “Since you’ve introduced me to an Asian group, I’ll continue that trend.” He currently was sitting on the bean bag chair which he had moved closer to the bed as the two had been watching and dancing to music videos that Sam was streaming on her television. Sam tossed her phone down to Mikey who began typing, and soon a music video popped up, one that ironically was familiar to Sam. “Oh, I know this song!” “NO WAY! You listen to One Ok Rock?!” “Not religiously, but I know some songs, this one being my favorite.” The two then sang along with and danced to “The Beginning” by One Ok Rock, followed by more partying to multiple other songs by the same group.

“This is awesome!” Sam then plugged her phone in as the battery was getting low. “No one EVER has the same music interests as me, and when I show them the music I like, they just brush it off like it’s horrible just because it’s in another language.” “Well not this guy!” he said with excitement. “I’ll give anything a shot!” He then looked over at the television and noticed that the DVD player had the words “PAUSE” across it. “Hey Sam, what were you doing before I got here?” She looked in the same direction he was. “I was going to start watching the beginning of a new movie that I’ve been dying to see.” “What movie?” “Naruto: The Last Movie.” Mikey gasped and clapped his hands to his cheeks. “You have it on DVD?! Is it subbed or dubbed?!” “Dubbed.” “HOW DID YOU GET IT?! I’ve wanted to watch it but I wanted to watch it on t.v. and not on a computer screen.” She laughed. “I put in a request at the library forever ago and finally it was my turn to take it home.” “Can…can we watch it now?” he asked timidly. “Oh my god yes! Like I would love to watch it with someone else. I was going to secretly watch it by myself and pretend I was watching it for the first time once I finally got to watch it with Jay, but this would be way more fun!” “Sweet!” he shouted as he ran over to the bed, halting right before he was about to leap onto it. Sam tilted her head in confusion. “What’s wrong? I just showered a few hours ago.” He rapidly shook his head. “No that’s not why I stopped you smell fine! Just, I didn’t want to just sit on your bed or assume that I’m allowed to or anything and I just don’t want to be rude and…yea.”

Sam gave him a blank face and then goofily scooted over while maintaining the same expression, leaving an open space on the other side of the bed. She then put her left arm out and raised her eyebrows at him. He stared at her in disbelief. “…Me?” She gave him a puzzled look with a smile. “Who else? Just take your shoes off.” “What’s wrong with my shoes?” “They touch the ground.” “So?” “I don’t want dirt on my bed!” she laughed. He shrugged. “Fair enough” he said as he kicked off his shoes and sat down next to her.

The two then watched the movie, every once in a while making comments about how much they shipped NaruHina, or cracking some type of joke about the film.

Mikey pointed towards the screen. “Hey look! Sasuke is in the film for a whole ten seconds!” Then later on it was her turn. “Look! He’s in the film for another ten seconds!” The two hadn’t realized how late it was until after the film had ended.

Sam frowned. “Dang, its 12a.m. already. I need to get to sleep so I can wake up at a decent time tomorrow for school.” “I guess that means I have to wait until the weekend to see you again, right? Because every night will be a school night?” “Um, actually, I usually don’t have a lot of homework each night, and it isn’t AP testing season just yet, so most nights I’ll be able to hangout. Sadly you’d have to come over kind of late most nights though, and you would have to leave kind of early as well.” Sam rubbed the back of her neck. “I doubt you want to make the trip up here just to have to leave so soon.” Playfully, he gave her a confused look. “Did you book me for events that I don’t know about?” “You would come all the way up here just to hangout for a couple of hours?” “Totally dude, you’re really chill and easy and fun to talk to. The only issue is if my brothers need me. Like if there’s a Foot clan attack somewhere, then I need to be there stopping them with my bros.” Sam was shocked. “You guys fight the Foot huh? That’s insane, in a good way of course. You have a phone of any kind?” Mikey reached into his right pocket and pulled out what looked like a hand-sized turtle shell. When he pressed a button on the flat side of the shell, a screen turned on. “Donnie made these for us, we call them shell cells. They pretty much work like regular cell phones.” Sam took the phone, impressed with its design. It would be cool to talk to the nerdy brother, but she knew that would never happen. Sam then began looking for a ‘contacts’ app to click on in order to prevent herself from thinking about how the other brothers had treated her a few nights previous. She entered her number into the phone and then used it to call her own phone. After a few seconds, her phone began to ring. “Alright, now we can communicate with each other. If the other doesn’t pick up when they’re sent a message, then we know that they’re busy.” Mikey’s face then displayed a mischievous smile. “Heh, now I have two girls phone numbers” he said, putting two thumbs up. Sam responded with pursed lips while slowly shaking her head. “Wow, such a player. Two whole girls.” “Hey! For a turtle who lives in the sewers, that’s pretty good!” She laughed. “Yea I guess so. Well, hopefully see you tomorrow?” He held up his phone. “I’ll be waiting for that text. Unless time gets away from you again.” “*sigh* you’re never going to let me live that down now, are you?” “Nope! Goodnight!” he said with a smile as he opened the window and climbed through, and that fast he was gone. As Sam turned off the lights in her room, she hoped that she would be able to see her friend again the next night, and she wondered if he thought of her as a friend as well.

The rest of that week, Sam and Mikey had continued to meet up with each other. Even on Wednesday and Thursday when there had been some gangs trying to rob a few banks and the turtles had stopped them late into the night, Mikey still stopped by for a few minutes to let his new friend know he was alright, and also just to say hi. It was now Friday night and Mikey was heading over to her house once again. At this point his brothers didn’t even ask him where he was off to, they just hoped that he wasn’t doing anything stupid.

For most of that first week their wishes had been answered since the new friends had just been hanging out at Sam’s apartment the whole time. Jay was rarely there, so the two were able to venture around the rest of the apartment and not just the one bedroom. On Monday the two had an intense nerf gun battle after Mikey had learned how to secretly add healthier ingredients to his pizza and then helped Sam bake a few batches of cookies. On Tuesday, Mikey helped Sam work on some projects she needed to complete for the many clubs she was a member of in the kitchen where they had more table space, and on Wednesday and Thursday the two played video games on the larger television in the living room with the little time they had. He assumed that tonight would be no different, but he was shocked when he climbed through the open window and saw that Sam was completely dressed with a small back pack on her back. He knocked on the side of the wall. Sam turned around and smiled. “Ayeee.” “Hey, you going somewhere?” “WE are going somewhere, yes. Thank you for asking.”

Sam was wearing a long sleeve dark red shirt and navy blue track sweatpants with a beanie on her head sporting the same colors. In her back pack was her basic necessities, her tonfa, a phone and tablet, her camera detector, and attached to the back was her skateboard. “Uhhhh” Mikey said in a confused high pitched tone “I can’t really go anywhere, ever.” Sam was confused. “Why not? You’re a ninja right?” “Yea, but I still look like this” he said as he held up his hand and wiggled his three fingers. “Well, blend in with the shadows like you usually do.” “Where are we going anyway? And why?” “We’ve been meeting up in the same apartment building all week. It’s been fun, but it’s Friday night! Who wants to stay locked up at home on a weekend night?” “Me, which is what I’ve been doing all my life.” “Well, you’re friends with me now, so you don’t have to do that any…more…” Sam was confused as to why the turtle in front of her was just staring blankly at her. She then realized for the first time since they had met that one of them had officially called the other a friend. She paused, afraid that he might want to run off now that she had given a title to their relationship, but to her amusement he just turned around and shouted “Alright lead the way!”

Sam fought to conceal her smile as she realized his reaction was one of amazement and joy. She was still getting used to the fact that this new friendship made him as happy as it had made her.

Theme: Marshmello-Ritual

Mikey climbed out the window and then jumped onto a ladder on the building across from where he was. He slid down the ladder and was waiting on the ground for Sam when he heard his phone go off. He read the message: Hey I’m up top. Where are you?”

“What?...” He looked up and saw Sam waving her hand over the side of the top of the building. He pulled his board from off his back and hopped on as he used it to glide up to the top of the building.

“What are you doing up here?” he asked once he reached the top of the building. “Waiting for you! What were you doing down there? Hmph, and you were the one worried about getting caught” she said as she shook her head. Michelangelo looked around, wondering how the heck they were going to move around when they were so high up. Wait…she couldn’t mean…

“Are we jumping buildings?” he asked with wide eyes. “Try to keep up!” she shouted as she ran forward. “Sam, wait!” But before he could say anything to her, she had already run and leaped over to the next building. She skid to a stop once she stuck her landing on the roof. She looked over and smiled towards her friend, waiting for him to come join her. Quickly he ran over and with ease he jumped onto the same roof, but he was furious rather than happy. “What the heck was that? Are you crazy?” Her smile faded. “No, maybe when I first started doing this yes, but it’s easy now. I mean not as easy as it is for you since you’re taller than me, and ripped, but it’s still a lot easier than it used to be haha.” “You…you’ve done this before? For how long?” “About four years. I’m on my own a lot now, so I have to go find fun things to do on my own, that and being alone has increased my adrenaline seeking tendencies. That’s pretty much the main reason I met you guys in the first place.” Mikey was shocked, both about the fact that there was still so much he didn’t know about this girl and also at how much she could do. He knew his brothers were right about her being able to do things that no normal person usually could. Was all that she had learned really taught to her in a self-defense class? Then again, maybe there was just a lot more to the story than he knew. Either way, he still wanted to be friends with this girl and he hoped that maybe one day he would know all the details as to how she was who she was, but for now he just wanted to help make sure she got to wherever their destination was safely.  

“Alright, lead the way. But I’m literally going to be right behind you! Okay?” She nodded. “Gotcha!” Sam was happy that he trusted her and wasn’t questioning her about her past while being protective of her at the same time. “Here, we’ll be heading in this direction for a while” and with that Sam ran ahead and leaped from roof top to roof top.

For about 20 minutes the two constantly moved along the rooves of many of the buildings throughout the city. A few times there were moments where the two had to climb up or down, but overall they kept moving at a constant quick paced rate. Finally they reached a shorter building that was in a more vacant location in the city. Mikey wasn’t sure what exactly this building was for or why they were there, but he was assuming that Sam’s huge smile meant that something fun was in store for them.

Sam walked over to a vent and pulled open the cover. She waved her friend over and then she slipped down inside the tunnel of the vent. She pushed her hands and feet against the sides of the vent and slowly began moving down the tunnel. She would slide her feet down some, then her hands, and she continued to alternate until she was at the bottom of the tunnel. She turned back to see if Mikey was following her. He looked confused, but he was still patiently trailing behind her. She then began crawling forward, and for a few minutes or so the two continued to follow this pattern. Eventually Sam stopped and then pulled her phone out of her back pack.

“Hey, why did we stop?” “We’re above the room that controls all the security cameras throughout this building. I need to set all the cameras back a couple of hours so that no one knows we were ever here. Don’t worry it will only take a few minutes and then we’ll be free to move around.” He laughed. “You literally sound like Donnie right now.” “Then that means your brother must be a genius.” “Oh he is! Like he would probably freak out if he was able to talk to someone about tech stuff like this.” Sam chuckled, but she knew that would never happen. As much as she would also love to talk to someone else about technology, she knew that Donnie wanted as little to do with her as possible, just like all the remaining brothers did. But she shook her head and ignored these thoughts and went back to focusing on hacking into the buildings security system and editing the camera footage. “Alright, time to move on. Just a bit further and then we can get out of this vent.” The two crawled forward a bit more and finally Sam opened up one of the covers in the vent. She crawled forward and turned around to face Mikey who was cautiously staying still. “What’s wrong?” she asked with concern. “Won’t there be people wondering around? I can’t be seen, I can’t risk exposing my brothers and putting my family in danger…” Sam crouched down so that she was at eye level with her friend who was still in the vent tunnel. “So I’ve been on my own for a long while now, and I’ve explored A LOT of different places, including this one. For four years I’ve snuck in here on weekend nights. One of the reasons being that I thought the prices for a membership here are ridiculous, and the other being that I’ve never had someone to bring with me. Within the four years that I’ve been sneaking in here I’ve learned that the owner closes this place early each night at about 7:00 because he doesn’t want teenagers wrecking the place, since apparently young people go crazy at nighttime according to him, which honestly isn’t an inaccurate thought. I mean some of the kids from school that come here are freaking insane. Anyway, the owner’s house is located further towards the center of the city and it would take him a long time to get out here. Plus, since we’re not in a huge crime ridden area and also since the owner doesn’t really keep any money here, there’s no security outside, only during work hours when this place is open. I’ve scoped this place out hung out here countless times and” as she knocked on the wall “I’ve yet to get caught. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t bring you here if there was a high chance of your identity being exposed.” Mikey looked up at her and smiled. He was grateful that she had put so much thought into their get together, and this also helped him in feeling more comfortable with her and in gaining his trust.

As he crawled out of the vent and stood up, his jaw dropped as he finally got to look around and see where they were. The building was much larger than just this room when looking at it from the outside which meant that there had to be many other rooms besides the one they were in, but at that moment the two friends were standing inside a huge indoor skate park. Mikey couldn’t believe his eyes. As much as he loved to skate board, he had never gotten a chance to go to an actual skate park. The only way he was ever able to practice was by skating along the rounded walls and along the pipes in the sewers underground, but this place was obviously a million times better. “Woooooow, this place is incredible!” “Heh, I had a feeling you’d like it.” “So, are you going to show me your awesome moves?” She gave him a blank stare. “Uhhh, I like to skate and stuff, but I’m no Tony Hawk or Rob Dydrek. Honestly I’ve always been more of a speed skater, I don’t really know how to do tricks or anything.” “Well guess who has two thumbs and is super freaking awesome at everything related to skateboarding…THIS GUY!” he shouted as he pointed his thumbs to himself. “Alright then Mr. Super freaking awesome, show me watcha got.” “Oh I accept that challenge ma’am!”

He then grabbed his board and began skating all throughout the various vert and mini ramps throughout the park. He quickly went around and started doing all types of tricks. Sam knew a few tricks, but honestly she had no idea what the heck any of them were called, she just practiced some stuff she saw online until she got more comfortable with it. As the two skated around, they would talk as they happened to pass each other or as they stalled on the ramps.

Sam rolled up to the top of one of the ramp and stayed still while balancing on the nose of the board. “Hey, what happened to not knowing any tricks?” Mikey asked as he rolled up and performed the same pose next to her, and then rolled off. Sam made a confused face. “This is a trick? All I did was stop at the top of the ramp” she stated as she followed behind him. “Yea, but stopping at the top of the ramp has a name, that one was called a nose stall.” “Oh, so this is a nose stall?” She did the same thing, but this time she stopped on the tail of the board. “No, that one’s a tail stall, see?” as he followed behind her and repeated the same move that she just had. “I honestly don’t see a difference.” “The first time you stopped on the nose of the board, this time you stopped on the tail. Does that make sense?” He demonstrated a few more times and eventually she finally understood. “Okay, then does this have a name?” She then skated to the top of the ramp and stopped with the middle part of the bottom of the board staying on the ramp. Mikey rolled up and did the same thing. “Axle stall.” The two rolled off. Sam watched as Mikey was able to hop and get his board off the ground. “Does hopping have a name to?” Mikey then repeated the move. “That one was an ollie, because I used the tail of the board to jump off the ground.” “Oh, oh! Okay watch this then.” Sam then hopped off the ground, but this time she did so using the nose of the board. “Let me guess, was that a nollie?” He gave her two thumbs up as he rolled by her. “There you go!” She then watched as he rolled up to the top of a ramp and then flip the board around before riding back down. “That was a pivot right?” He shook his head and smiled. “Nope! Kick-flip!” as he went up another ramp and did the same thing. “Nice try though.” “Hmmmm okay, let me guess the name of this one.” She then rolled up to a rail and glided across using the bottom of the board. “That was grinding, right?” Again Mikey smiled as he shook his head. “No, THIS-” as he rolled up to the adjacent rail and glided across using the axles of the board “-Is grinding. What you did was a rail slide.” She threw her hands up in confusion. “What’s the difference?” He stopped his board and faced her. “You glided across using the deck, I used the axles.” “…what’s the deck?” He laughed. “It’s just another term for the board itself. Try to grind again.” Sam then rolled up and used the back axle to glide across the rail. Mikey cheered for her. “There you go!” Sam looked over at him and smiled. “So, would that be a tail grind? Since I used the back axle?” “There’s no such thing as a tail grind!” he laughed “That was a 5-0 grind.” “Oh okay, so then this-” as she rolled up and used the underside of the tail of the board to glide across the rail “is called a 5-0 slide, right?” Mikey couldn’t keep himself from laughing as he shook his head. “Tail slide!” “Then what is a 5-0 slide?” “That doesn’t exist!” “OH MY GOD I’M DONE!” she yelled playfully as she threw her hands up in the air. “Dude, how do you know how to do all this stuff but you don’t know any of the terminology?” “I don’t know, I just go with the flow I guess. Like when people teach themselves how to play an instrument but they don’t actually know all the note names.” “Fair enough, but what happened to not knowing any tricks? You’ve already demonstrated a bunch of them!” “I didn’t really consider these tricks, I feel like tricks are way more complicated.” “Heh, I can’t wait to hear what you think the complicated moves are named.” “I REPEAT I’M DONE!” she playfully shouted, and just as she did so, her board slid out from under her. She stumbled and fell back, but they both were able to see her board go flying straight up into the air and then land perfectly right into a bag-less trash can. “Goalllllll!” she shouted! “Ayeee cowabunga!” he shouted as he sat down at the top of one of the mini ramps. She looked over at him as she quickly ran up the ramp to retrieve her board. “Cowabunga?” “Yea! Got a problem with it? And if you do, then you’re as bad as Raph!” She gave him a serious yet still playful look. “Okay listen up. 1. I don’t have a problem with it, it was just random as hell. 2. Gee, thanks for the compliment” she said in a sarcastic tone. “1. You’re welcome! 2. I take random as a compliment ma’am.” “Well then you’re also welcome for your compliment, sir. What is with guys and weird sayings anyway?” “What other weird sayings are you used to?” “Whenever my younger brother scored playing sports or if he got the new high score in a video game, he would always scream ‘booyakasha.’ What the hell is that?!” Mikey burst out laughing which lead him to fall and roll down into the center of the ramp. “Dude your younger brother sounds amazing!” Sam rolled her eyes and smiled as she pulled her board out of the bin it had landed in.

For the next two hours the two friends continued to skate around, occasionally teasing Sam on her lack of knowledge when it came to skateboarding terminology. Once their time was up, the two packed up their belongings and went back to the vent where they had entered the room. They climbed their way back to the vent opening on the roof, making sure to alter all the cameras again before they left. Since neither of the two were really in a rush, they decided to walk back to the apartment, talking the entire way back as they continued to get to know each other. “Hey Sam, when’s your birthday?” “April 4th.” “Oh! So you just recently turned 16 then?” “Yup! How about you? When’s your birthday?” “February 2nd.” “So you’re not that far behind me then. You were born in 99 though, right?” “Yea, how about you?” “98, so I’m not that much older than you guys, oh, assuming that you guys all have the same birthday.” “We do actually. Donnie looked into what he could find from the old files that April could find on us from the TCRI experiments and we all actually are blood related and were born the exact same day and in the order that we thought. When we were kids, there were times when we were curious about whether we all actually were related to each other or not since physically we have similarities, like how me and Leo have the exact same eye color and then Raph’s match Donnie’s spot on, but personality wise each of us are so different. There were also times when we weren’t sure who was actually the oldest. For example, Donnie can sometimes be wise and calm like Leo, plus he’s been the tallest of us four for a long time now, so we all wondered if he could actually be one of the oldest of us four. There were other times where we wondered if Raph was the oldest because he’s always been the strongest. But regardless of these curious thoughts, somehow our instincts helped us know who was really the oldest to youngest, but it was nice to officially know that we are all blood related and the order of our births though.”

Sam smiled as she looked over at him. She was walking along his left side, so she was able to see his left shoulder where his shell tattoo was. “I still can’t believe you have that.” “What?” he said tilting his head to the side. “A tattoo. Like, I just can’t believe you guys learned how to do all that, and they look really good to!” “Dawwww you’re to kind miss.” “Do your brothers have any? And who printed them?” “Oh yeah! Leo has another shell tattoo like this on his right arm, and he also has a tattoo on his left bicep of turtles in a row with lines above and below them. The one on his bicep is a design that he made when he was younger so the design means a lot to him. Raph has a shell tattoo on his shoulder to, but of course the design is a bit different because he had to go be soooo cool and be different, pfftt! Whatever” he said as he rolled his eyes. “Anyway, Raph printed ALL the shell tattoos, but Leo printed the one on his left bicep with a little help from Raph, and I printed the one on my wrist all by myself.” “I guess Donnie doesn’t have any?” “He does actually! He has a smaller shell tattoo like this one on the top of his left shoulder, he just has so much gear on all the time that you can never see it.” “Wow, just from what you’ve told me this past week, I thought he would be a total health freak and wouldn’t let a needle anywhere near his skin.” Mikey chuckled. “You’re spot on when you say that, that’s why he ONLY has the shell tattoo, and it’s the smallest of all four of our shell tattoos. But we’ve all seen the shell tat as a symbol that represents our family, that’s the sole reason he allowed it. The rest of us have at least one other, but he would only allow that one.” “So then what’s the meaning of this one?” I asked as I pointed to the cursive writing on his left wrist. “Honestly that was a mix of me being extremely proud of myself both for learning how to print my own tattoo AND for learning how to write in cursive. Our dad taught us…basically everything we’ve ever really learned, but I was always the last one to really understand anything, so this tattoo was pretty much me rewarding and praising myself for learning the two skills.” “That’s really cool” I said with a beaming smile. “I love hearing stories about meaningful tattoos. Again this is just my personal opinion, but I just don’t get the point in getting a ton of random tattoos, but I think meaningful tattoos are really nice. Ha, is there a reason for your brother branding kanji on his shoulder?” “Oh no that one’s is just him trying to look super cool. Like even Leo who’s all for tattoos thought he was crazy for that one.” We both had to cover our mouths so that we didn’t laugh too loud in the middle of the night. “Does the kanji have a relative meaning to his life or anything at least?” He nodded. “That I can luckily say yes to. It matches the kanji on the top of his bandana.” My eyebrows rose in surprise. “I never realized he had kanji on the top of his head.” “Really? I guess you didn’t notice mine then either.” “No! Where is it?” He stopped and held the end of the left strap of his bandana so that the cloth was flat so that the kanji was visible. “Whoa! I never noticed that until now! Do all four of you have this as well?” “Yup! Leo’s is on the right side near his eyes and it stands for ‘patience,’ Raph’s kanji on his shoulder and on the top of his bandana reads ‘anger’ and the kanji on his right strap reads ‘beast,’ Donnie’s kanji on his left strap stands for ‘bright’ and he also has a small turtle print above it, and then MINE stands for ‘heart’ which I have a lot of because I’m just incredibly amazing. I guess I should also point out that there’s kanji painted on the back of my shell as well.” “NO THERE’S NOT!” “SHHHH!” “Dude…I swear I’ve been living under a rock. How have I not noticed any of this?!” “Because you weren’t looking for it, but now you are!” “Wow, I was not expecting this Psychology 101 type of info today. I was un-prepared.” “Hehe, oh hey there’s a ladder coming up, if you put my board in your bag then I can carry you up.” I nodded as he handed me his board. It was as I was securing his board to the straps on the back of my bag that I noticed the writing on the back of his shell for the first time. I hopped up onto his back as I carefully swung my arms around his neck and held on as he climbed up the ladder to the roof of the building. “So what does it stand for then?” “Mine stands for ‘child,’ a perfect fit for me if I do say so myself” he chuckled. “Mine? So your brothers have spray paint on their shells as well?” “Leo and Raph do. Leo has ‘honor’ painted in blue on his shell, and Raph has ‘family’ in red on the back of his. Hehe, Leo can write in Japanese perfectly, but when it comes to paint he just can’t keep himself from making mistakes, so don’t tell anyone this, but because I had to paint the kanji on Raph’s shell I secretly wrote ‘Mikey’s the best’ in really small Japanese characters in brown on his shell in a really hard to see spot.” “Damn, and I thought branding kanji into your skin was badass, but this totally tops everything you’ve said about your brothers! But don’t worry your secret is safe with me.” As we reached the top of the building, he put me down and put his knuckles out for a fist bump. “Thanks bruh.” I returned the gesture. “Cowabunga!” “Booyakasha!”

It only took a few more minutes and the two had reached the apartment. It had gotten pretty late by the time they returned home, time passing by much quicker since they made the decision to walk home. The last few minutes continued to be filled with nothing but kind and humorous conversation between the two friends, both enjoying the others company. Mikey slowly began to notice that Sam asked a lot more questions and did a lot more listening than making comments about her own family and life, but he also assumed this was because he was a giant mutant turtle. Most people would probably want to talk more about that than everyday life. Once they reached the apartment the two said their goodbyes and decided to call it a night, but both couldn’t wait for the following night, hoping that they would get to hangout and have another great night goofing off together just like they had tonight.