#This moofin has so much anxiety

[dracl-dragon]

i drew Sun (fnaf)

Plus just the backround

Backround is f2u if you leave my signature on

Also he has a lil moon plush

[ruthdemoofins]

I haven’t been on here for a long time and I’ve even thought of closing this chapter for good. This blog has been the source of good things like some monumental friends, but a lot of bad things that gave me a lot of anxiety and stress. The drama over a television show drained me to the point that I stopped caring about myself and more about trying to defend characters. I did not recover from the callout post made a year ago about me. It was my worst fear whipped into one form and while many could brush it off, it fed into my social anxiety and influenced a parade of anonymous hate. It lasted for months. I replied to some. I ignored more. I tried using an ip blocker. It followed me even after I changed my username. I shut off anons. I relapsed on self-harm. I was unable to breathe properly without my inhaler at my side for days from the stress. Every time I saw a new inbox message my heart clenched out of fear. I no longer associated what used to be my haven as a good thing. I just looked at my blog and remembered the things said about me, I was humiliated to talk to people from the fandom out of fear that they were judging me, felt like I let down my friends.  I tried moving onto a new fandom, I tried posting, but the hate kept up and I still felt uncomfortable.

I’m sorry for disappearing and I’m sorry because I don’t think I can come back to this blog without unhappy feelings. I’m a lot happier and healthier now. I have another blog that I am happy on and feel safe. I’m not going to delete this blog because I don’t want it to be gone. I don’t know if I’ll ever want to come back or not, or if I can find a way to not feel so much stress here. I’ve thought of taking snafu-moofins back as my name and just saying “fuck it” and doing what I want, but I’m still hesitant. This isn’t fucking shade. This is just an update and an explanation for why I’ve been gone as well as closure. It feels pathetic to be so weak, but social anxiety fucks with me a lot and I’ve worked really hard to become as confident as I’ve gotten today. I don’t care if people wanna talk about this like it’s dumb or mock me. I think I’m different now, I think I’ve grown up a lot, and I look back on a lot of stuff that’s happened and cringe, but this blog made me. It made me meet some of my best friends and made me feel very confident and actually give a shit about myself. So thanks. I still check here every blue moon, so if you ever need advice or help, I’ll be here, or if you need my number or fb or something, hmu. Stay frosty.