#ThisIsNotInTheManual

[not-glorfindel-stop-asking]

If you had to kiss Eredin for 10 minutes straight (on the mouth, you can't escape this one) or face a 24-hour marathon of smut-filled poetry reading out loud, which do you think would make you blush more?

*wide-eyed, speechless for a long moment, hands clutching my chest dramatically*

W-Wait—what kind of question is that?

*I raise my hand as if to ward off the absurdity of it*

First of all—why would I ever—why on Arda would anyone suggest such a…such a blushing situation?

Kiss Eredin? For ten minutes? On the mouth?

*splutters, face going red*

Eredin is—he’s a scribe, a pure, innocent, anxious soul who is forever lost in paperwork and cocoa! The very thought of such an event is absolutely—utterly—inconceivable.

And to have me involved in such a…*frantic gulp* intimate scenario with him? Oh, Valar, I—

As for the poetry, oh please—*begins to splutter again*

A 24-hour marathon of... glares at the person who made this suggestion smut-filled poetry?! Out loud?? For all to hear?? *Horrified gasp*

I’d blush more from the sheer mortification of being forced to read that aloud! But I’m also suddenly wondering if the kiss would be... just as—*stammers and stops mid-sentence*

...I… *face turns even redder*

What is this evil challenge you have presented me?! And what am I supposed to do with this new, deeply troubling information?!