#ToxicDynamics

[thejourneyofastrangerlife]

Drawing the Line at Manipulation

Today, my mother-in-law created another dramatic episode — her signature cleaning spree, the kind she uses to mask her narcissistic behavior. This comes right after yesterday’s argument, and honestly, it’s unbelievable. My husband, poor thing, doesn’t even see that she’s playing the victim again. I don’t know how to escape this loop of drama. Every time, I’m expected to let things go — that’s what my husband keeps saying — just so she can restart the same chaos again whenever she wants?

No matter what I do, it’s never enough. From now on, I will just let it be. Whatever she wants to do — it’s up to her. It’s no longer my problem. I’ve tolerated this for almost a year. She refuses to let go of her son and constantly finds ways to create tension, just to push him further away from me. Why am I always the one left to endure all this?

And here’s what’s been on my mind lately: tell me, what more am I supposed to do? I try to see things from my husband’s point of view, but even that leads to me being blamed or compared. What am I really in this household? A maid? Is a wife just an unpaid servant in her in-laws’ eyes? Is that what it means to marry — to become obligated not only to a husband but to his mother too?

Let me be clear: I am not a maid. I am a human being, a wife, a partner — and I deserve respect, care, and emotional safety. I am not being unreasonable for wanting to be seen, heard, and supported — especially by my husband.

In a healthy marriage, we are supposed to be partners, not someone’s scapegoat or domestic helper. I shouldn’t have to constantly earn my right to exist in my own home. And the constant pressure to justify my emotions, the emotional manipulation, the guilt — it’s draining and unfair.

All I’ve been asking is:

For my husband to see the reality and stop being blinded by guilt or obligation to his mother.

For him to help set boundaries with someone who refuses to respect them.

For me to be treated with the same basic decency I give to everyone else.

If he can’t step in and support me when I’m being mistreated, then we are not functioning as a team. And that’s something that needs to be addressed — honestly, directly, and without brushing it under the rug.

Sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is stop trying to please people who benefit from you staying small. I’m tired of shrinking myself to keep the peace. I deserve a life where I feel safe and respected — not one where I’m constantly trying to survive.