#Uni assignments killing meeeee

[madmadammagz]

Nothing like writing 5500 words in one and a half weeks to make you feel like you are going crazy

[c-11-22]

im still not over it

i wish i could talk to 12 yr old me about alice glass rn bc no one shares the fascination bc no one in my age bracket listened to crystal castles when we were in elementary school bc their older sisters didnt rave they did cheer. i was listening to their timeless works of art (3) before i started bleeding for the first time i dont know if ill ever get over crystal castles fissuring and crashing and drilling itself into the ground ~ seemingly silently (myb furs time ever cc silence) bc it didnt look like people were that shocked by what happened, n even still, were not supportive of alice glass. its not like i even listen to them all the time just sometimes when im feeling ecstasy in my brain and throat and hands. but then i do n i get taken back to domestic violence and failed therapy of indian families thruout childhood but then my brain goes back to nostalgia of hearing her horrifying music for the first time and being so so pleased that it was possible , but then hops to the trajectory of her life and inflection point at 14, he inflicted so much harm on her,his teammate...while they were experiencing mutual success for so long .. the skins episode... an extremely horrific and singular situation how could i not be fascinated and i learned about it young and then i had homework and sports and uni to do so it just kept simmering in the back, my sister left home n became an adult way before the thought formed to talk to her about alice glass and the other one. n now my sister has a job and a finnish husband on a orchard so she has no need to talk to me about alice glass and the situation. n now its coming back to me bc i been making the things im making in my childhood ish bedroom, but i didnt have a bedroom bc everyone slept in different rooms every night bc mom and dad didnt sleep together so the foundation and assignments were rocky or nonexistent anyways. did anyone even talk about it or sense it back then when they were peak or was i too young(this feels like c op out) to be involved in or reading the online chatter. seems like reddit sides w claud*o n how much did he really have to pay alice? n the whole playback royalties gutting her .. predictability smelling fishy to meeeee~ can someone anyone pls .., am i crazy for being stuck. on this? i dont even like the music its literally part of my child self and all the questions i had n never followed up on are still questions that no one seemingly cared to ask either which is wild bc its been 13 years!!!!!!!! why is her if looking like knock off dolls kill? we let her down. we all let her down