#V: COOL AS IRON & CHROME || METALOCALYPSE IN A COOL WORLD

[bitofthisandthat]

"Let the record show...that 9/10ths of a successful relationship with your lady comes from maintaining certain...traditions and expectations that she's used to havin'."

"............"

Every year with this shit...

@heedingcalls

[bitofsin]

@heedingsins​ | @heedingcalls​

🎶 You know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind A gift real special, so take off the top Take a look inside -- it's my dick in a box! Not gonna get you a diamond ring That sort of gift don't mean anything Not gonna get you a fancy car Girl ya gotta know you're my shining star Not gonna get you a house in the hills A girl like you needs somethin' real Wanna get you somethin' from the heart Somethin' special girl It's my dick in a box! My dick in a box babe~🎶

[bitofthisandthat]

Pickles waking up in a cold sweat after a dead sleep because he realizes he didn't sing Holli "dick in a box" this Christmas like he does every year.

“Ah....aw...aw...dude....I fucked up.”

@heedingcalls​​

[bitofthisandthat]

@heedingcalls​​ asked: ❛ i came out here to attack people and i’m honestly having such a good time right now. ❜ for pick man from holli !

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒

“I know, right??!? It always feels good punchin’ some douchebag in th’ face--or kickin’ him square in th’ nuts when they push ya too fuckin’ far, amiright?”

He’s proud of his gal, clawing and throwing out some good hits on her own. It’s always nice to share EVERYTHING with the one you love. One of her hecklers tries to scramble past him, but even in the flashing lights and darkness of the club, the drummer’s able to grab him like an octopus suctioning a passing fish. 

“I’ll hold this guy an’ you can get ‘em. ‘Cause I’m gonna need you to cover my back in a minute when I get that asshole over there for callin’ me a lightweight an’ a shitty drummer that can’t keep time t’ save my life!”

He actually called him a ‘mama’s boy,’ but that’s not what Pickles was going to acknowledge...

[bitofthisandthat]

@heedingcalls​​ asked: ❰❰ TACKLE ❱❱ holli and pickles. in true holli fashion.

An Extremely Self-Indulgent Meme

❰❰ TACKLE ❱❱ sender hugs the receiver so hard they almost fall over / do fall over

It’s not like he’s back from tour or some long stint for an endorsement, or even that he’s been holed away in the studio working on stuff...Because Nathan DOES need to be watched when alone down there, he infamously deletes anything that he sees as ‘imperfect.’

Nah, he just went to the grocery store to bring back some snacks and some smokes, a total of maybe AN HOUR apart from everybody. He drops his keys on the saw-top coffee table and slaps down his bags right after, but not before yanking out a fresh ciggy to light. He’s clicked the lighter ONCE, and like switch has been flipped, he immediately hears heels padding quickly on stone floor behind him and--- 

“YIEEEE!” He’s glomped at his side, and down they go on the sofa ( thankfully ), his precious cancer stick flinging out of his mouth. “Oh shit!” It doesn’t matter, he’s pelted with pink kisses, staining his beard and getting a shivered chuckle out of the redhead. “Awww alright, alright---” His tone turns to velvet as hands plant around her waist, whiskers nuzzling against her porcelain cheek. He is one lucky sonovabitch. “I got ho-hos and snowballs, babe.” Only he can make that line seductive. “An’ some lights fer you Hol’.” He throws her a sly glance, but blinks as she’s retrieved the fallen cigarette and is re-lighting it for herself. He pets her sides as he relaxes into the sofa, letting her curl over his lap like a cat.

“Or, take mine.” Fuck, he doesn’t care. She can have whatever she wants, as far as he’s concerned.

[bitofthisandthat]

@heedingcalls​​ asked:  “What do you mean, ‘booze ain’t food?’ I’d rather chop off my left tit than admit that!” Holli @ her Pick-man!

☠ Metalocalypse ☠ MEME!

“Uhhhhhh..............I appreciate that dedication, Hols. An' I totally understand it, I do. But babe.”

“Don’t deprive th’ world o’ a perfect set, I mean...that would be the saddest thing ever......Even if the right one is my favorite. Anyway! Crack open another--er--fermented potato juice and smather it over that orange liquor an' banana crap. There! Veggies AND fruits, now your food pyramid is almost complete.”

[bitofthisandthat]

“I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe - and kneel!” Holli to Skwis because .... it really just never stops.

He Broke Up With Me on a POST IT!!

On this episode of ‘As the Blondes Burn’......

“Says it don’t sprays it, Holli.”

“Normalies I has the deepest of repeckts for a skankies lady, ja? But you just irritates me on personalities alone.” 

Pickles must be out on errands somewhere...Hurry back, Pickles. Hurry back.

@heedingcalls​

[bitofthisandthat]

@heedingcalls​​

“My girlfriend’s the funniest asshole around, an’ you all can suck the biggest bag o’ dicks if ya don’t like it, I don’t care. Fuck it. Ha!”

[bitofthisandthat]

@heedingcalls​​ said: “What drives you on can drag you down.” Holli @ Abigail !!

GARBAGE  Lyrics

Abigail stopped mid-adjustments, her fingertips halting on the boards the second the blonde opened her mouth. Yeah, she could mean work. Abigail was the very picture definition of a workaholic. Or...this could be love-life stuff. Either way, Abigail was SO rusty at girl talk; having Holli around would force her out of her bubble one way or another.

“....You’ve been reading my princess diary, haven’t you?” A small chuckle.

“Nah, I see what you’re saying. ‘All work and no play make Jack a dull boy,’ right?” She saved and LOCKED the last of her settings, and pulled up her sign-off window. “Fuck it. I told the boys the track was due Monday, but it’s actually due Friday.” She scooted her roller chair from the boards, and whipped her purse over her shoulder. “Let’s get out of here. And I know you and Pickles are in each other’s sweat 24-7, but please don’t tell him or the others I lied about the due date.” She smirked. “It’s how I get them to actually do their jobs instead of pissing their time away....cocktails?”

[bitofthisandthat]

@heedingcalls​ said: “I thought I was your ‘snack pack’.” Holli @ Pickles!

STOP LOOKING AT ME, SWAN

He rubbed his hands greedily when the Klockateers dropped the last of the grocery bags onto the counter, and in an unusual display of actual glee, he crept up to the bag pile like the impish man he was deep inside. Reaching and pawing through each bag while the servants tried to work around him and put things away effectively, he dug around like a 10 year old until he found his prized pudding packs.

“Hehehehheh! ALL mine! Bananaaaa.....chocolate. Of course...butterscotch...yeah, bitch, that’s what I’m talkin’ about...lemon? Ew. Pass! Eh, what th’ hell I’ll give ‘em Murderface. He’ll take ‘em. And LIKE ‘em.” He fettered through the packs, putting his prized claim into a pyramid. Last time, Nathan and Murderface ate them ALL before he even had a chance to get to at least one measly cup. Now he’s got 5 packs, all to himself...and he’s hoarding them in his room, so NO ONE can get them.

However...one or...two cups weren’t going to make the trip back. He plucked one chocolate and started scooping the processed mess into his mouth. “Ohhhhh yessssss. My little Snack Packs, I’lll never let you go. I will step o’er my own MOTHER t’ get t’ ya.”

That’s when her cooing, baby tone broke through the haze of his joy, and his eyes followed her voice until he saw her, leaning one arm over the doorway. Her brows tented down as she smirked at his ridiculous display, her words stunning him silent, his pudding filled spoon hovering near his mouth.

“Uhhhhh...You...are?”

“Look, Imma level wit’ you Holls. I love you, you’re awesome an’ totally cool an’ smokin’ hot...An’ I will literally KILL for you if you asked me to, but babe. I ain’t sharin.’ Find yer own an’ fend fer yourself. These fuckers are MINE.”

[bitofthisandthat]

“Feets peoples.”

“Ugs...blach. Gross. I ams throw up maybe.”

[bitofthisandthat]

@heedingcalls​​ said: “All your oversized shirts belong to me now.” Or...well. *All* of his shirts are her shirts now. Sorry, Pickles. Holli @ The Pick man!

Delightfully Domestic Starters

“Babe, that’s super adorable an’ all but...I mean...” He looked around quickly, making damn sure the guys weren’t here to overhear him say this next thing, because ‘Burn-Fest 2020’ would never end. “...I’m not exactly a point guard for the Bucks, yanno?” Yeah. Still can’t say it exactly. Shorter than most. Average height. Kinda. The guys in the band were all at least 4 inches taller than him. Fuck, Skwis was what? 6′6″? Viking bastard.

But, she was a smaller gal herself...those heels were such a fake out. He chuckled, shrugging his shoulders as he watched her fetter through some of his old S n’B concert T’s.

“Okay, okay...You can wear ‘em if ya want. Hell, they probably look way better on you than me.”

“But....all of ‘em? Even the really, really stinky ones?”

[bitofthisandthat]

@heedingcalls​​ said: 💘 holli and her pick man !

Send a symbol for a mistletoe kiss situation!

[ CLOSED MEME ]

💘 : your muse finds my muse under a mistletoe

The club is too noisy and chaotic, even for him right now. He tells himself it’s the music and the douchebag clientele, but it’s the season. The holidays always feel like a punch in the gut for the drummer, and he tends to spend them in a fog, avoiding his mother’s incessant phone calls and older brother’s slimy requests for MORE money... ...So, he’s going to scoot off to the black-painted hallway, and hang out in the green room and just chilllllll. Holli can take care of herself, and he’s not a smothering type of boyfriend, except if he actually SEES some jack-off put their hands on his lady. Then, they’re getting a mouthful of broken chicklets and a face that’s gonna be every color of the rainbow. And since folks around here have actually SEEN Pickles in a fight over his gal’s honor, they tend to back the hell off of her, unless she’s working...Besides, he’s got one of those, what do they call ‘em? Oh yeah. 6th senses when she’s getting messed with, then he knows when to just show up and close-line whatever dildo is giving her shit. So...for now....he’s going to kick back and take a puff or....four until he’s mellow enough to deal with that crap techno shit she has to dance to. Not like she can headbang on stage to HIS stuff, anyway. Another puff of his chronic, and his eyes hood, unfocused on the gaudy holiday decorations back here...

The Dr.Seuss styled Christmas décor out in the club is enough to make the biggest krunk trip balls when they see it, and usually that would be up his alley, but tonight he’s just going sit alone with the black-walls, gold fringe Mylar, and disco holly-berry scheme, and pretend he can’t hear the insufferable beat of that digital mess they call ‘music.’ Though it’s kinda taking him back to his LA hair band days, actually....fechhh. One more LONG drag and he’s in a mellow cloud. 

Pattering heels make their way down the club hall to the drummer’s little isolated spot on the gaudy couch against the wall. He blinks unevenly at the blonde, and laughs through a coughing cloud. “Heeeeeeey Hoollllllllllliiiii ya know what? This music isn’t as ah....shitty as it seems when yer on this stuff, yanno?” Green eyes narrow JUST to make sure it’s HER and not some back up dancer with the copied style. AH. Good. It’s her. She’s eyeing him smugly, ice-blue eyes glancing over his head at the cheap tinsel above his head, her hands planted on round hips before she straddles across his lap, fanning her palms over his shoulders with a coy expression in her eye.

“What?” moss green eyes glance up in the dissipating fog, and he spies what she spies. He THINKS so, anyway. “Ohhhhhhhh.” He chuckles seductively, despite the obvious ‘stupid’ high, and his bright, goofy tone slips into a darker, more dangerous one...just for her. “Ya know th’ drill, baby---wait. Just a sec.” He takes another long drag, then waits for her to pucker her lips in a small ‘O’, blowing the ‘green’ smoke into her mouth as his lips near hers. A calloused hand catches the back of her head to cradle it against his kiss, middle and index fingers still pinching the roach between the knuckles. Dexterous fingers curl at her delicate jaw as he deepens the slow, luxurious kiss; his thumb toying idly at her chin and bottom lip. Pulling apart with a lazy smack of their lips, the shared cloud fades to nothing as he falls back on the couch with a satisfied sigh. “Ya know I hate this time o’ year...but I’m good with that holiday tradition, babe.” He passes the last of the joint to her to finish it off like the ‘gentleman’ he is. “Anytime.”

[bitofthisandthat]

@heedingcalls​ said: “If you carve a dick on this pumpkin, I swear to god.” Holli @ Pickles !

HALLOWEEN TIME!

“I’m NOT. It’s totally not what I’m doin’ over here.” He takes a long, mediative puff on his cigarette, and stares at his magnum opus, before sticking the cancer stick back into the corner of his mouth. He flicks the last little boogery parts off the pale orange with his switch-blade, rolling the pumpkin to face her---

“It’s a dick BETWEEN a set o’ tits. Voila. I call it: Awesome.  Betcha didn’t know your man was so artistic, too.”

[bitofthisandthat]

@heedingcalls​ said: "I want to move in with you." Holli @ Pickles 👀

Domestic Starters!

“Yeah? Tho’ I thought you were already moved in, ya know. Technicallllllly speakin’. Technically. Yanno, since yer shit’s all over the place. And not just in MY rooms...I was so messed up th’ other night I put on one o’ yer pink sparkly tanks and hobbled int’ the bathroom t’ take a leak, and I damn near had a heart attack ‘cause I thought I time-traveled back t’ the 80′s glam rock era or somethin’... Then I saw that I stretched th’ fuck outta it, and you’d be super mad at me, so I got stressed out and just threw it in th’ fireplace when you were sleeping--anyway! Yer here all the time...So I figured the ‘transference’ was complete.”

“Not complain’ or nothin’. Just statin’ facts...as it is...my way. Soooooo...Minor change o’ subject--” He shrugged a casual shoulder and chuckled through his nose. “--You got more stuff t’ bring over? ‘Cause I can loan ya like 50 Klokateers on a 12 hours’ notice. I don’t like t’ braaaaag but it’s within my capacity t’ like, launch whatever back-breakin’ grunts that ya need.... ‘Cause I love ya, but I’m not breaking my back haulin’ all that heavy ornate craaa--furniture that you have.”

He chuckled mischievously, side eyeing the blonde with his classic smirk.

“Oh man, Skwisgaar’s gonna be so pissed off, it’s gonna be hilarious. Let his waking nightmare begin, because it’s gonna be permeant entertainment fer us.”

[bitofthisandthat]

@heedingcalls​​ said: ‘ she’s dead inside , like a corpse . she instagrams methodically , clinically , as if she’s gathering evidence for defense , like her entire life is dedicated to proving that she has a life . ’ holli @ abigail for gossipy bitchy girl reasons. I AM SO SORRY ABIGAIL.

‘   YOU   ’ (  NOVEL  ) SENTENCE  STARTERS

Abigail and Holli couldn’t be more different in personality and tastes, but...after seeing how well the blonde had the drummer under control and more work-sober, ( and how she managed to get a certain Swede a perpetual knot in his tail )��she had to give her a chance. Abigail was big enough to admit that she was a little wrong about Holli, and judged her too harshly on some things. She assumed she’d never get along with someone so bold, crude, and flighty, but...she was kinda entertained by her now. And...well, look at where she lived and who she worked with. She had to admit she attracted that type of person like a magnet. Nevertheless...

As tight-assed, er, as professional as Abigail was, she wasn’t above some idle gossip either.  It was refreshing to hear about someone she didn’t know or work with. Though Holli could be describing any number of pop divas, a realm of music the producer was GLAD to be rid of.

“Look. Until she starts putting up cheesy ‘live-laugh-love’ and ‘rose all day’ crap mixed in with her crotch shots, you don’t have a solid case for the ‘sad’ home-wrecker. She still sounds like just your average ‘fake’ home-wrecker. And according to my Aunt Bess, there’s a difference. And God forbid she morphs into the ever-terrifying ‘fatal attraction’ home-wrecker. If so, we have to call a couple of my cousins in for back-up, Holl’.”