#VERY funny to me that the seeding allowed for this matchup to happen

[fullmoonfireball]

PIKMIN ENEMIES TOURNAMENT: ROUND 1, MATCH 13

[brycennfl]

My dudes.

Look, everyone has had this moment in sports and to be honest, there isn’t many better sports feelings. When you think to yourself about a player, “this guy totally fucks” as the younger folks would say. That moment for a young kid could be seeing Julian Edelman get up from a Kam Chancellor Super Bowl hit or seeing Gronk dance on the sidelines after throwing Sergio Brown out of the club.

It’s when your sports heart falls in love with a player on your favorite team. You’ll never forget that moment, and from here on out you will be seen meme’ing Trent Brown at 1 a.m. Eastern Time. You is me, by the way. Let’s exclude the really obvious ones, alright? The ones we meme about and in conclusion absolutely Stan harder than ever before, sis. I love these guys, let’s do this.

Trent Brown, LT (2018-2019)

If you were to gather the amount of happiness the Sun brings to all aspects of life, it wouldn’t hold a candle to seeing Trent Brown’s journey as a Patriot. For those of you raising your eyebrows because Trent’s tenure lasted fewer days than he’s ever been in a caloric deficit, put a sock in it. Love is unaware of time and time ghosted love a long time ago for it’s side chick. Von Miller called him the best tackle in the NFL and for most fans, they had no idea who he was. Once I saw his interview with our beloved Mike Reiss (hi, Mike), I knew this was going to be something special. The most physically gifted Offensive Tackle I’ve ever seen came into my life just after Nate Solder broke up with me for my sworn enemy. Remember, a lot of people wanted Belichick burned at the stake for letting Solder walk. Alexa, tweet search “Joe Thomas Patriots.” We were searching for answers, and then Trent came into our lives.

He towered over Sony Michel. He smiled like an innocent 5th grader. He was so gigantic that literally anything he did was funny. If aliens came to invade the planet and only saw Trent Brown, they would flee and cower to their home planet. Remember Andy Reid at the punt/kick/pass contest? Do you remember the kid who was allowed to play pee wee football and it completely risked the lives of the children playing? That’s Trent Brown, but with grown men in the NFL. A gigantic fun loving human being that makes grown men look like children. Rooting for offensive linemen is a rarity, but boy is it fun. Those guys are some of the coolest on the team and I can really appreciate it. Best of luck in Oakland, Trent.

Danny Amendola, WR (2013-2018)

Danny Amendola came into our lives at a crucial time. Wes Welker had just left us for Satan Manning. Yes, Satan Manning. COWARD. Dola for me was the ultimate rebound. I was convincing myself he would catch 100 balls a year here. That didn’t happen, but it turns out he was actually way more important than I thought. The thing about dynasty 2.0 and most dynasties is that championships are sometimes won by singular plays. The divisional 2014 Ravens game, SB51, 2017 AFCCG, SB49... a few plays go the other way and dynasty 2.0 could look completely different. Danny Amendola made those plays, a lot. He played through injuries, he took salary haircuts, and most importantly he made the biggest plays when it mattered.

He tore his groin off the bone in one of the very first games he played with the Pats, and he still made unbelievable plays. Have you ever seen Dola drop a pass? Do you remember even vaguely him dropping a pass? No, you don’t, because he is handsome and not a complete coward. I fell in love with his toughness. Like Edelman, you could see in his eyes that he would literally fight an entire army by himself if he had to. I want you to think about all the big catches he’s had. For dynasty 2.0, I think he made the biggest plays out of everyone. Amendola was my dude, because he just didn’t give a fuck. Period. No one ran their mouth and backed it up like Playoff Dola. There’s always room in the slot if you get tired of Matt Patricia, Danny.

Aqib Talib, CB (2012-2014)

I remember when the Patriots’ secondary was equipped with swear words, not football players. I dare you to go back before Talib’s time here and look at the names of some of those corners. It was, as my good friend @BrettPats says, “An absolute disgrace.” I’m the king of useless information, so naturally when Talib got here I proceeded to stalk his entire life on YouTube and the internet. I found a video of him doing the “Dougie” after he got drafted and I knew then, this was my dude. I was about to defend Talib’s honor with every fiber in my being. He was just cool. The way he wore his beanies, the way he talked, and he always wanted all the smoke. I loved that. DMac was moved to safefy, Talib was CB1, and the defense had changed.

Falcons-Patriots (week 4, 2013) was the moment I knew the Patriots could win the Super Bowl. “WE” finally had the secondary to matchup with a great offense. Talib was blanketing Julio all game. Like true Patriots fashion, it came down to the last drive. Talib had the game winning pass breakup against Julio Jones and proceeded to run to the bench and put his arms up like an absolute king. You remember this moment...legendary. Unfortunately in the biggest games he always seemed to get banged up. Otherwise, the Patriots might have more championships, who knows. Talib was my lock screen and I wanted to first fight Wes Welker for taking him out. That’s the tea. When he left for the Broncos I was absolutely in shambles...but this led to bigger and better things. In the end, the Patriots won 3 SB’s without him (including beating him in SB53, where Edelman took his soul.) With Talib and the Patriots, the seeds were being planted for Revis/Gilmore. We loved him, he broke our hearts, and then we absolutely “glow’d up.” Talib won a SB, the Pats won 3, everyone ended up happy.