#Verse: I Need 100 Black Coffins for 100 Bad Men

[dxsole]

LOST CAUSE | @notmyfatherssins | Cont. from X

Not even Breslin gives her that sort of attention. Oh, he's always leering, always trying to touch— but with Jason, as foolish as his admiration is...it's genuine. Even she could see that.

He's supposed to be ruthless like her. Just another soldier doing as they're told, and yet he can still be genuine. He can still get embarrassed like a lovesick schoolboy.

She doesn't know what to do with him.

"I'm sure everyone's told you it's a lost cause with me, hm." Anyone who saw how he looked at her must know, right? "You know how I am and yet you feel compelled to tell me anyway, knowing I could reject you, hm. Even hurt you if I got it in my head to do so." Jason may be wondering what he could say that would sway her, but she's just desperately trying to figure him out. "Why? That doesn't make any sense, hm"

[dxsole]

@notmyfatherssins | Cont. from X

Everyone seems to forget that she was a child at one point. That she had a family and a home and at one time, a very normal, mundane sort of life. She had not dreamed of hurting people, even with her temper; it just ended up that way.

Besides, was it better to try and fight for that old existence she could never have again or embrace what she had now? Didi would rather cling to the small semblance of violent power she had rather than chase a fantasy that no longer belonged to her. What would she even do if she ever had a chance to live the more normal life society wanted her to live? She thinks she'd really go mad if she had to be permanently polite to appease some meaningless rules of politeness.

"No, little one." She coos, reaching out to tousle his hair a little. "The torture is for the anger. The killing is just an unfortunate side effect." She would prefer it if they lasted a little longer, actually. "Maybe. I don't know, hm...I think a part of what I do is like therapy. People tell me their deepest, darkest secrets when they think confession will spare them."

"I think if you left me in a room with a psychiatrist, I'd learn more about them than they would about me, hm."

[dxsole]

@notquiteahitman | Cont. from X

She can't win with him. Maybe she's always known that but damn, she just wanted a chance to try. Even if she's not sure what might happen if she did win.

Her outburst doesn't do much but bruise him and that's only a small victory. Bruises will heal. Breslin will still laugh and look down his nose at her as he always does, just like he's doing now. Even with a gun and innumerable reasons to kill him, he still thinks she won't do it. He knows she won't kill him like that.

"No, I think you've gotten where you are because you're a man and because you're an asshole who steps on people. You're probably someone's son for all I know, hm." She only quiets down when he reminds her of her own free will. It didn't feel like she could say no. Saying no meant pain and even if she could endure it, that still didn't feel like a choice.

Thoth never asked for such things...because he had some semblance of integrity, she thinks. He saw her as his most favored guard. A daughter. Someone infinitely loyal to him and it would be an injustice to test her like that. In contrast, Breslin seemed to enjoy finding out where her limits lay, to push and prod her until she was at the edge with only him to hang onto, the threat of him dropping her hanging over her head every time.

She thought she would hate such an existence, that it was certainly the worst situation she could be in. And yet, clinging to him made her feel things. A bit more alive. Challenged. Like getting the better of him was her life's goal. Like pleasing him in a small way won her points and if she got enough...it would mean something.

He's right. She would never kill him like this. But he might not forgive her this time for her insolence. Didi thinks she can almost see it in the way he holds out his hand. Just a raise of the brow and he's scolding her, somewhere in his dark eyes lies a threat she doesn't know if she could live through.

Didi could feel her heartbeat quicken in her chest, adrenaline starting to pump harder— holding the gun to his head had been thrilling but now something else was needed. Either she hands it over and loses the little advantage she had. Or...

The gun's lowered, trigger pulled— directly into the center of his thigh.

And then she runs. Her thoughts ran with her— she didn't believe Breslin had anything besides bulletproof glass in his office windows. Anyone with a grudge and access to a good sniper would have shot a hole through his head already— but elsewhere? No way the whole place was bulletproof. It couldn't be.

Escape had never really crossed her mind until he reached out his hand. She had a gun now. She had something that kills faster than she ever could. It's an easy, unsatisfactory kill, but for once, that was necessary.

She's barreling through doors and racing down halls, not caring for what she hears behind her, not looking back lest she sees how close he really was. Leaving was a death sentence...but so was staying with him. At least this way, it'll be her choice.

[dxsole]

@notquiteahitman | Cont. from X

I know something you don't— If Ryan wanted her to attack him, he was doing a brilliant job of winding her up. Because she does indeed hate that. Under Thoth, she knew everything. She knew the motivations, she knew the players, and she was surprisingly high up in the ranks, with only Thoth and Hugo being above her.

It seemed like centuries ago now. She wasn't management material, but she was essential to their work. And now...Ryan, apparently, held all the cards and she was still left in limbo. Even after all this time.

After all the shit she takes from Breslin and all the restraint she's shown by not hurting Ryan in a fatal way...and Ryan still knows more than her.

"Everyone's afraid of Breslin because he's a temperamental prick with an itchy trigger finger, hm." It's a weak jab and she knows it, but she didn't want to think about that. The idea that Breslin favored Ryan, of all people, over her. Some other killer with a larger body count, maybe. But Ryan? He's a whelp.

Even just thinking about it...all the secrets he hid, all the secrets he hid from her. She had been useful. Loyal. Tolerant of his bullshit— And he still never even brought up anything of note, now that she thinks about it. She's been here for months— you know, she doesn't even know how long she's been here. Breslin wouldn't tell her.

Regardless of the time, he still didn't speak up. No, she has to hear this shit from Ryan instead.

Her glare has become a tired gaze, anger fizzing out into hurt. Not even the real pain he just inflicted compared to this stupid tightness in her chest.

Why is this worse?

"...I want to know..." She has very little leverage. "everything." But as she said before, she would hurt herself just to hurt him and everything he loved...surely holding back that desperation was just as valuable. "Now...if you tell me everything," She wets her lips, voice still hoarse from the previous attack. "I won't go after Sophie...or you...anymore." Breslin would probably have a few words to say about that...and truthfully, she doesn't know if she'd be able to stop herself...no, she could do it. She'd need another victim, but she could do it.

"In fact, I'll do you one better, hm. You tell me what I don't know...and I'll go." She had been thinking about it. Telling that...silly boy with the crush on her about it. Teasing...toying with the notion of just escaping leaving. Difficult it may be, but nothing was impossible.

She stayed...because Breslin said she couldn't leave. And she believed him. But right now, she's not sure if she believes him anymore.

And besides...how much more fun would it be...to see him get off his ass to try and get her back? Maybe she's not thinking rationally thanks to the pain and the hurt but...well, she doesn't have much to lose, does she?

[dxsole]

❣️ for vicente from avery

❣️ HE ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK ❣️

Not Accepting.

For a brief moment, his heart had stopped. There was chaos all around, a rival faction choosing now, of all times, to attack. Now, Vicente was not alone, not outnumbered, but still caught off guard.

Bullets had started flying, screams piercing the air and acting like a starting pistol— there was half a second where he took in a deep breath before his gun was drawn and he was putting himself in front of Avery. It's instinct. He was paid to do this, to put the safety of the girls, the cargo, and the money before himself.

But the lack of hesitation was caused by something greater than that paycheck.

Avery looked scared. She's more than used to being in the vicinity of guns, Vicente, and much of their entourage carrying them. But being targeted, and being shot at is not something she often had to deal with.

Without even thinking, he was leading her down, hand reaching back to firmly press against her shoulder until she was on the ground, Vicente never taking his eyes off their assailants but keeping that grip on her. He wanted to reassure her that she would be alright. That she wouldn't get hurt. That they would make it, because he was good at his job and he would never, ever let anything bad happen to her.

But then something went BANG and it's far too close for comfort. Vicente's knocked down, coughing, hacking up a lung— he's vaguely aware of people advancing, his team advancing forward. It's a good sign but his attention is pulled by a spattering of red on the floor by his feet.

"Avery?" It's barely heard over the gunfire. "Avery." Vicente sounds angry, almost annoyed that she's not responding, but inside he's tearing himself apart. He's crawling to her, swiping away the debris as he came in contact with it, splintered wood from the table they had been sitting at, broken glass from glasses she had been drinking from— "Avery, c'mon." It's said gruffly, angrily, frightened.

She looked peaceful, almost like she was sleeping, red sprayed across her cheek. "Avery. Avery, wake up." She's given a slight shake which earns him a soft groan. "Avery— Avery open your eyes. Open them right now."

He doesn't know where the blood is coming from, it all looks like splatter as he pats her down, searching for any indication of where she was hit. "Baby, talk to me— Avery please." He's pleading now, unable to stop his labored breathing and the genuine fear traveling up his spine.

There's a hum of acknowledgment, lashes fluttering open as her eyes roll in their sockets, trying to reorient herself. "That's good. Keep 'em open. Okay? Just keep looking at me, okay?"

"What...what happened?" She sounds groggy.

"Nothing happened. Avery, keep your eyes open please." His tone attempts to be stern but it's laced with concern, eyes looking glassy as he stared down at her. "Where are you hurt?" He can't find it. Blood is pooling by his knees. "Avery tell me where it hurts—"

"You're bleeding."

Vicente stares at her, breath hitching for a second. The gunfight sounds muffled, far, far away from them, but he can suddenly hear his heart pounding in his ears. He doesn't feel it, but he still follows her eyes, noting that his side now had a noticeable stain of blood. He watched as it trickled down his leg to the pool between them. Oh.

"Yeah, I am...you're not hurt, are you?" Avery shakes her head, still disoriented, still confused as to why he seemed so panicked.

Vicente nods, lips pursed tightly as the bundle of nerves that had been growing in his stomach recedes. Despite his own injury, he's quick to cradle her, just relieved that she was okay. "You scared me." He mutters, knowing once they were safe and away from this place that she would probably tease him about his concern.

Ah, well, she knew by now how he felt. There's no use in trying to hide it.

He pulls her closer, now finally looking up to see nothing but far-off silhouettes and smoke hazily rolling down the street. Thoth isn't going to appreciate the amount of publicity this was going to cause, but he didn't care about that right now.

In this brief moment of calm, he kisses her, Vicente attempting to be gentle given the circumstances, but unable to stop the desperation. "I thought—" He croaked out.

Vicente doesn't want to even think about what he thought. "But you're okay." He wasn't seeing as he was still bleeding, but he could ignore it. He's been shot before, and even if the adrenaline is just starting to wane, that familiar dull ache starting to creep in on him, he's just glad she's okay. "You're fine. You're just fine." It's said between deep kisses and a short, punctuated laugh. "You fuckin' scared me. But you're....you're okay."

[dxsole]

“i just want to feel something.” (Also Jason to Didi???)

🔪 YOU’RE GONNA FEEL SOMETHING! 🔪

Not Accepting.

She stares him down for a few moments. Didi’s thinking.

He seemed to like her. And would do a lot to make her approve of him. She’s mostly been regarding him as a pebble in her shoe what with his silly little infatuation...but you know, now that she thinks about it a little harder, maybe she could use this.

“...M’kay.” Her skirt is hiked up— mainly so she could get out her butterfly knife, a flick and twirl of her wrist opening it up. She wouldn’t hurt him, just scare him a little—

Being scared is a feeling after all.

She’s small and she’s fast as she approaches him, the knife being pressed tight against his neck and forcing him into a corner. Didi keeps him tightly pressed to the wall, refusing to let him escape. “I could cut out your tongue at this proximity, hm. Did you know that?” It’s whispered out, just a little fun fact just for him.

“Hm,” The blade trails up his jawline and presses against his cheek, just a little more pressure needed to draw blood. “Why would you ask me, of all people, to make you feel something— You know I’m only going to hurt you, hm.”

The tip of the blade is once again moved to rest right beneath an eyeball. “Do you feel something now, hm? Is your heart racing? Can you feel...how blood rushes beneath your skin— don’t focus too much on it, you might pass out and just make it easier for me to subdue you, hm.”

[dxsole]

🌳 LOST & UNSURE | @notquiteahitman

It's a terrible feeling, being scared.

She hadn't initially felt it when she concocted this grand plan in her head; how they would escape, what she needed to grab before they left— and they needed to leave. Didi could continue to be who she was working under Breslin, but Justin wasn't one of them. He wasn't a killer and wasn't even an asset anymore.

Eventually, they would have killed him. Or attempt to use him. And Didi couldn't allow either option; maybe a year ago she wouldn't have cared, but things were different now. And it became very clear that she was different once they were free, far from anyone in the organization, far from anyone that could hurt them. But alone with little resources.

Didi, as domineering as she was within the four walls of her enclosure, was suddenly aware that with all the training she suffered though, all she learned, all she gained...they had taken something away from her: autonomy.

She was suddenly helpless. Ruthless, but helpless. She can't provide for them, only destroy.

While Jason watches Justin, she stares at the remnants of the fire. She knew how to make one for the sole purpose of needing to burn down a building or something equally wicked, but it proved to be useful in this instance. But what about when her usefulness runs out? What about when they're hungry again? What if Justin gets sick? It's so cold—

Jason's hand is warm. "I belong inside." Jail, hospital, back in some white-walled organization, under someone's thumb— It's all she's known since she was a girl and suddenly it's not there anymore. It's much more jarring than she anticipated and she's finding it difficult to be strong for Justin...and Jason. "I'm not made for being this...unrestricted, hm."

When he forces her to look at him, her eyes are glassy. Tears don't fall and the look on her face suggests if he mentions it, she'll snap, but they're there. Beneath the surface. Just a girl who's scared and lost and unsure for the first time in nearly a decade—

Belonging with them. Not to them. Not to Jason. With.

It's a foreign concept but she'll accept it for now. It's close enough. It's a reminder she's not doing this alone or that it was a bad idea. She just wanted Justin to be safe.

She sniffs when he places the jacket on her shoulders, Didi shuffling close to him, doing her best to share. "...Okay Boss." She murmurs, feeling a little better already.

[dxsole]

🏠 HOME IS WHERE THE HELL IS | @notmyfatherssins

She says that because it felt like it was being taken away from her.

Breslin was closing in, she could feel it. Something was closing in. Whatever it was that did it, whether it be Breslin or a bigger, even more sophisticated crime syndicate, something was going to end here.

Maybe she's just being paranoid (as she's prone to being when things are this quiet), but she's not worried about herself. She could handle whatever was thrown at her, she's sure of it.

But not Justin. Justin was too...soft at his center. Vulnerable. Regardless of their time together, she doesn't think she's really rubbed off on him. She could teach him how to work a knife at her own peril, but there's a difference between knowing how to use a weapon and having the stomach to use it repeatedly.

She had saved him from one bad person but what frightened Didi the most was not being able to save him from all of them. And Jason...he could help, but they were connected, he and Justin. She somehow had to keep them both safe if she was to keep Justin happy.

Caring about people was such a pain in the ass.

Didi sighs through her nose and looks over at him. She's tired of thinking about this. "This is a bit like home now for you, isn't it?" Seeing as they took him from the one he had— although, that one wasn't too good either, was it? "Do you feel at home here? With me?" Lips quirk into the smallest of smiles. "Little weirdo."

[dxsole]

❛ i would let you rip me apart if it meant loving you. ❜ (Jason to Didi)

🔪 DON'T DO IT MAN! 🔪

Not Accepting.

Now that's one hell of a confession.

Love and romance were always marketed as something worthwhile, something that made your life better if you were lucky enough to find it. But just look at poor Jason. His love eats him up inside, she can almost see it.

He's desperate. So much so that he says things like this. That he'd suffer for her. He'd kill for her if she wanted. He'd let her gut him open just so she could wrap her fingers around that heart he swears belongs only to her. What's even worse is that she can't even confirm if this was all love or lust. Maybe he's just so hard up he'd risk life and limb just to fuck her.

For his sake, she hopes it's not just lust, That would be so pathetic.

"I don't believe you, hm." Didi starts, feet propped up on a desk— not her own but the one she commandeered just to lounge about. "I don't think you'd really let me hurt you. It's not how people's brains are wired— we flinch at pain, we still feel the hurts we consent to and our body reacts—"

Head tilts. "Unless you're just confessing to me that you're one of those people who gets off on being in pain, hm." She shouldn't be teasing him about such things when she gets off on causing pain.

"If I slapped you right now, would you moan?" It actually causes her to smile, eager to test out that theory. "Now, be honest because it would be very easy to find out."

[dxsole]

Moan (Breslin and Didi)

😚 RARE AFFECTION 😚

Not Accepting | Seven: My muse trails kisses down your muses chest

Usually, Breslin didn't allow such affections. No, there were no sweet kisses and gentle gestures— he was almost clinical about making his desires known. But lately, something's changed.

Not his feelings towards her, she hopes. But something had him weary. Weak. Whatever it was, he had asked her for help.

Ten months ago, she would have taken this brief moment of weakness to grab him by his hair and bash his face into the bathroom tile until he was unrecognizable— but things were different now. And as she helps him undress, Didi having drawn him a hot bath, she's surprisingly tender in how she treats him.

If Ryan was there he would have either blown a gasket over her not taking the chance to get back at Breslin...or laughed at how horribly domestic the two killers looked. That mocking thought is pushed far from her mind, Didi focusing on the task at hand.

He was so pale. Paler than usual, at least. She wonders if he's ill before helping him shrug off his shirt, folding it neatly and placing it aside. She almost wants to ask if he would need her help to bathe, but keeps that thought to herself lest he ends up in a tizzy at the mere suggestion.

But she remains gentle, gently stroking his hair when she looks down at his pitiful form. He looks like he's about to cave in on himself.

Carefully, Didi settled herself on the bathroom floor, noting how his tired eyes watched her from his perch at the edge of the bathtub.

Now it was her turn to be clinical about it, helping him out of his trousers, gaze never revealing her thoughts, if she even had any about his body as more and more became exposed to her.

Until there's a sigh. A soft sound exhaled from her nostrils. Didi leans forward with little warning, pressing her lips to his chest. It's just as soft as the noise she made, her lips feather-light as they drag down his chest. She's not keen to mark him like he enjoys doing with her— she just seems hellbent on mapping him with her lips, inhaling his scent, reacquainting herself with him— with how he's been overworking himself, it had been a while since he had any interest in her.

It was different than his depravity. What she did now...it was done with reverence.

It ends with her chin resting on his knee, Didi looking up at him with bright eyes. "You're going to be alright boss. I'm gonna take good care of you."

[dxsole]

“Touch them and I’ll break your neck.” (Ryan to Didi about Sophie - gang au!)

🙂1,000 WAYS TO DIE 🙂

Not Accepting.

Her gaze goes to the ceiling, a dainty finger tap, tap, tapping on her chin. "I wonder how I'll do it, hm. Oh, there's just...so many possibilities." After all, Sophie was just so damn special. Her neverending death deserved to be something just as special as everyone says she is.

"What if she drowned? Would she just die and come back, forever and ever, hm— maybe we'll just keep her in a glass box of water so we could watch her choke on it." Her fingers snapped as a new thought popped into her head. "If I cut off her head would we be able to hold a conversation, hm? Can I put it in a box and just let her fester?"

"There are just...so many ways to kill someone. I don't even know yet which ones will work on her...but we've got all the time in the world to find out...don't we?"

[dxsole]

“I never craved attention until I tasted yours.” (Jason to Didi in any verse!)

🔪 SUCKS TO BE YOU! 🔪

Not Accepting.

For weeks now it's been brewing in her head. Her position, despite its apparent importance, was becoming stagnant. Breslin was losing interest or patience in her; she couldn't tell which but she could feel how he looked down on her. Looked at her just as he looked at everyone else he considered beneath him.

And in a strange way, that pained her. She was already ripped from one family she knew, given away so easily...only for Breslin to toss her aside as well. It's not fair. And life may be unfair for everyone else, but Didi refuses to let it happen. Not again.

And as she looks up at Jason, all boyish curls and devoted eyes...she knew he was obsessed with her.

She could use that.

"Good." She starts, nodding her head slowly. It was annoying but it was a good thing. Jason was young...strong...easily influenced seeing as he continued to follow her around like a lost puppy regardless of how she treated him. He follows her. Does what she says.

And all he apparently wanted was her attention. Possess her in some way, perhaps— Jason admired her cold exterior and how passive she could be with murder. Looking up at him, she wonders if she could just push him in the right direction so they'll be exactly the same. "Hm, but I am...very upset Jason."

A hand reaches out to tangle in his hair, stroking him like a prized pet. "You know, you were trained by a very bad man. So was I...but I fear neither of us is living up to our full potential, hm." Her nails gently scrape against his skull, watching how his gaze darkened the longer she touched him.

"Thoth...my previous employer...he wanted me to rule. But not above him. Have power but not use it against him. And now...with Breslin," His name is said with a sneer. "He keeps me practically caged here, hm. I'm a toy. Some...pretty little soldier he keeps on his mantle— I'm much more than that, aren't I, Jason? I deserve more...don't I?"

[dxsole]

@notmyfatherssins​ | Cont. from X

Poor kid. Hugo wouldn’t even know what he’d do if the tables were turned. Being in love with someone as insane as her would be pure torture, he thinks. Thankfully, Hugo isn’t as...oh, he doesn’t even know the word for what Jason was. Gullible? Gullible sounds close enough. 

“Listen...you are young.” Jason didn’t need to be reminded of that fact, but Hugo still wanted to point it out. “What you must understand is that these feelings you have are indeed fleeting. It’s just hormones at this point. Find another woman. There’s plenty of them...and many are in their right mind. Unlike our mutual friend.”

[dxsole]

@notquiteahitman | Cont. from X

Didi didn’t get it either. Sure, she could understand that Sophie wished to speak with her, but she still doesn’t quite get her...purpose here. What’s her angle? What’s so special about her...and why doesn’t she seem more upset about everything she does to Ryan? It felt odd...and Didi’s not even very good with people to begin with; Sophie just seemed to turn her already limited understanding of people on its head—

“...You’re what?” It’s said with a fair amount of innocent confusion, if one like Didi could ever be referred to as innocent.

She does look incredulous for a brief moment...but then the gears start turning. She believes her...okay, well, she has about 25% belief in her, but that was more than one so Didi’s willing to go along with it.

Mainly because, if she’s not lying, Didi now has something even better than Ryan to play with—

“If you’re telling me the truth...do you know...how badly I’ve wanted someone just like you? You’re a scientist’s wet dream.” 

No wonder Breslin kept her around.

Didi’s got a manic glint in her eyes as her knife’s pulled from the sheath strapped to her thigh. “Do you even know what this means?” Because while being practically unkillable doesn’t mean unable to feel pain, Didi clearly had no problem inflicting it upon the other woman.

If Sophie was being truthful, which she better fucking be, Didi could pry her open without anesthesia...a perfect recording of the human body’s threshold for pain. She could gauge it’s extremes without even needing to worry if she’d break her— “Gimme your hand— I wanna see, hm.”

[dxsole]

@notquiteahitman​ | Cont. from X

Now, it’s a mystery where she got the lollipop in the first place but regardless of where she got it or who she had to hurt to get it, she’s enjoying it. She hadn’t had sweets in some time and she suddenly remembers why she had liked them so much as a child—

Of course, Breslin always has to ruin her fun. “You’re such a funsucker.” The lollipop’s stuck in her cheek as she talks. “But fine, I’ll be quiet, hm.” Cue the obnoxiously blue sucker being daintily licked by a tongue that’s stained the same color. 

It’s unclear if that’s better or worse.

[dxsole]

❝ we should be good people. wouldn’t it be nice to wake up in the morning and not feel like a fucking piece of shit? ❞ (Ryan to Didi)

👀 THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 👀

Not Accepting.

Didi squints. “...I wake up every morning feeling fine...? How do you normally wake up?” Does she realize that she is not and would probably never be classified as a good person? Yes, she does.

And she’s been taught to accept that. Embrace it even.

So forgive her for thinking everything out of Ryan’s mouth is a load of horse shit. “I wake up every morning, have my herbal tea, go for a walk around my enclosure. I await the order that I have to go interrogate someone or set an example of someone— but I also leave room for hobbies such as electrocuting you in the afternoons and badminton.”

Didi shrugs. “I’m perfectly well-rounded, hm.”